There was a loud crack in the 20th Ward CCG Center.

That crack was the sound of Kureo Mado's remaining sanity snapping.

"You're telling me that Kakashi has a SEP field," Mado said blankly.

"Judging by the surveillance video, yes," a CCG technician answered as he gestured at the screen with trembling hands. "He's literally walking up and dropping off the criminals in front of you all, and none of you noticed."

"So you're telling me," Mado began slowly, "That he could be right here, with us at this very moment, and we wouldn't know?"

"Yes," the technician looked pale. "Sir, I don't know how we're supposed to fight this. This is supposed to be impossible."

"I see," Mado nodded, rubbing his chin. Then he blurred, whirling around and punching the open space behind him. He frowned when nothing happened.

"Umm, sir?"

"Just checking," Mado said idly, sniffing the air like a bloodhound. "Well then, thank you for this information. HQ already knows, I assume?" The technician nodded. "Have them begin creating some countermeasures." He turned around and began walking away. "I need to go have a talk with my team."

XxX

"FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK!"

"HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COUNTER AN HONEST-TO-GOD MOTHER FUCKING SEP FIELD?!"

"PHYSICS! PLEASE! MAKE SENSE AGAIN!"

Shinohara slowly backed out of the CCG Research Laboratory. He had gone there in hopes of acquiring a countermeasure for the SEP field, but judging by the scene in front of him, it was unlikely they had anything.

He made a mental note to book therapy sessions for all the scientists and researchers. From the looks of it, they needed it.

XxX

"Mado-san," Amon began hesitantly. "Are you alright?"

Mado looked up from where he was rigging the door to explode. "Kakashi has the ability to sneak past all our defenses and attack us without us knowing," he said. "We need to be prepared for every possibility."

"What's the point?" Suzuya yawned boredly. "If he decides to storm the Center, there's nothing we can do to stop him. He doesn't even need this SEP field thing - he's just that strong."

"Not to mention how booby-trapping a government facility is highly illegal," Akira pointed out. "But seriously, father. Could you please stop randomly punching the air every few seconds? You've already knocked out two agents by accident, and we really cannot afford another lawsuit. Thank god those two agents were understanding."

"Indeed, Mado," Shinohara nodded in agreement. "It's one thing to have a healthy - or even unhealthy - dose of paranoia. But... well, even we're getting worried at this point. You haven't blinked a single time in the past two minutes."

Mado stared at them with bloodshot eyes. "Blinking is for the weak. Besides, I have eye drops."

"... okay then."

"When will Investigator Kishou Arima get here?" Amon wondered. "The request was sent out a few days ago."

Shinohara shrugged. "Arima was in the middle of a case when HQ called. He'll have to finish his case first before he can come."

"Yeah, well, until he gets here, we're just sitting ducks," Amon clenched his fists in anger. "It doesn't matter how many booby traps we lay. Like Suzuya said, it's pointless."

"Even if the booby trap won't kill - or even harm - Kakashi, at least it'll alert us if he's here," Mado replied before a crazed smile spread across his face. "Of course, that doesn't matter if he's already in here with us... isn't that right, Kakashi?"

There was a moment of silence. Nothing happened.

"No, seriously, when was the last time you slept - "

Amon was cut off when the air shimmered before Kakashi materialized, lounging lazily on a chair.

"Yo!" Kakashi greeted with an eye-smile.

Later on, Amon would deny having screamed. It was a manly shout of surprise, he would insist.

Shinohara and Akira both tensed up, reaching for their briefcases, whereas an expression of undisguised glee appeared on Suzuya's face.

"Maa, I'm kinda impressed. How did you know I was here?" Kakashi asked, looking genuinely curious.

"Lucky guess," Mado murmured. Unlike the others, he didn't reach for his weapon. Instead, he just calmly observed Kakashi, making no outward moves.

"What do you want?" Amon demanded once he recovered his composure. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you like my gift?"

Amon blinked. "Pardon?"

"Did you like my gift?" Kakashi repeated insistently.

"What gift?" Amon scowled. "What are you talking about?"

"The criminals, of course!" Kakashi exclaimed. "In just a single day, I made the streets of Tokyo safer." He nodded self-satisfiedly. "You know, you should give me a medal for being a hero."

"The criminals you caught were a gift to us...?" Shinohara asked slowly.

"Yup!" Kakashi smiled. "Did you like it?"

"It was..." Shinohara struggled to find a word. "Thoughtful," he finished.

"I'm glad you liked it!" Kakashi looked genuinely joyful. "We're friends now, right?"

Amon blanched. "What?! NO!"

Kakashi frowned mildly. "We're not? Hmm... This is complicated. Very well then. What do I need to do to become your friends?"

Amon gaped at Kakashi. "Are - are you insane?"

"You know, humans and ghouls have a lot more in common than you think," Kakashi mused.

"Excuse me?" Shinohara asked, looking mildly offended.

"Well, the ghoul I talked to yesterday also asked me if I was insane," Kakashi explained.

Shinohara paused. "That's fair," he conceded. "Also, if you could please give us the name, age, and general location of the ghoul you talked to, that would be great."

"Not happening," Kakashi clapped his hands together cheerfully. "But enough of that. If I buy you guys ramen and punch you in the face, would you become my friends-?"

"Kakashi," Mado interrupted softly, his gaze fixed on Kakashi. "Why are you here?"

"Well, I got lost on the road of life, and this is where I ended up," Kakashi answered with an eye-smile.

"You have had the opportunity to kill us numerous times," Mado continued, ignoring him. "Yet, you never did; you remained strictly nonlethal. And now, you're here to make friends with us." His eyes narrowed. "I don't understand you. Why are you here? What do you want with us?"

Kakashi hummed contemplatively. Then, in the blink of an eye, his expression lost all traces of levity. "Can I level with you for a moment?" he leaned forward, completely serious. The Investigators' gazes sharpened. "Due to a certain orange-obsessed student of mine, I wish to bring peace to the human-ghoul conflict."

There was a moment of silence.

"What?" Mado looked genuinely bewildered.

"That's impossible," Shinohara said regretfully. "As long as ghouls exist, humans will always be at war with them - "

"Why?" Kakashi asked simply.

"They destroy families and lives and do nothing but sow pain and suffering wherever they go," Amon snapped. "I'm not sure if you missed the memo, but they eat people - "

"Synthetic meat," Kakashi replied bluntly. "Human cloning. Growing humans in labs. Creating a drug that allows ghouls to consume human food. I've seen the technology you possess. It's well within your abilities to do something - anything that doesn't involve hunting down ghouls like animals."

Amon narrowed his eyes. "They are animals."

"Really?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Is that really true? Or is it just the propaganda talking? Have you ever talked to a ghoul before without trying to kill them first?"

"Yes," Amon spat. "My foster father was a ghoul who ran an orphanage."

"See? That's a pretty noble cause - "

"He would eat the children he 'saved'."

Kakashi paused. "Ah. Never mind. At any rate, he was probably one of the evil ghouls, so to speak. But there are also good ghouls out there. You saw the criminals I captured yesterday. All of them were humans. Should I use that as justification that all humans are evil, then? Of course not. It's logically incorrect."

"I see your point," Shinohara steepled his fingers. "However, there is one flaw in your argument. Ghouls are incapable of having emotions, and by extension, morals. All you can do is imitate human behavior."

Kakashi sighed. "Once again, please try to separate propaganda from fact. I mean, it's blatantly obvious what the CCG is doing. They dehumanize ghouls and make everything black-and-white to make it easy for you Investigators to brutally murder ghouls in cold blood without feeling a hint of remorse. Trust me, I've seen it all before."

"So what are you trying to say?" Shinohara tilted his head. Kakashi noticed with interest that he didn't object to what he had said. "That the CCG should stop hunting down ghouls? That we should lay over and let them eat us because they're higher up in the food chain?"

"I'm saying that you should accept the fact that there are peaceful ghouls out there," Kakashi answered. "Ghouls that wish to live a normal life."

Kakashi paused as he recalled what he had seen the previous night. Contrary to what he had told Touka, he did have another reason for going into her room besides the fact that he didn't like using doors.

He had been there to gather intelligence.

Several stuffed bunnies. A desk with reading materials on them. Cute drawings and school posters that hung on the wall.

It wasn't some act. Touka was legitimately trying to live a normal life as a normal human girl.

And if she was like this, then there undoubtedly were countless other ghouls who also wished to lead a normal life. And they were all unable to do so due to the CCG's actions.

"The female ghoul I talked to last night?" Kakashi continued, looking Shinohara in the eye. "You know where she gets her food? Suicide victims. She's not trying to destroy lives or rip apart families. She simply wishes to survive."

"Then you want us to ignore all the death and suffering ghouls have caused?" Amon demanded angrily. "That we should just forget about everything?"

"Oh dear gods, could you please stop generalizing?" Kakashi asked exasperatedly. This was like the Academy all over again, with idiots incapable of critical thought. One of the downsides of being a genius. "All the ghouls that enjoy killing people - go ahead and kill them. I don't mind. But as for the rest, maybe try not killing them and instead look for other solutions?" he drawled sarcastically.

"Even if that were the case, the ghouls would never agree to this," Shinohara told him, once again avoiding the issue.

Kakashi shrugged. "Maa, that's because they don't trust the CCG - and I don't blame them. You've shown nothing but malice and blind hatred so far. However, I have the perfect solution to your problem."

He tilted his head to the side and eye-smiled. "Me."

"You." Shinohara looked decidedly unimpressed.

"I'm a ghoul, after all," Kakashi spread his arms in a grandiose manner. "So if the ghouls see that you're friends with me, then it'll set a pretty good example, don't you think? It'll establish that ghouls and humans can coexist which would be a step towards peace, AND you'll be able to get a good night's sleep since you no longer have to worry about me causing chaos."

Absolute silence.

"Repeat that again?" Shinohara requested tentatively.

"It'll establish that ghouls and humans can coexist - "

"No, the last part," Shinohara said.

Kakashi tilted his head. "You'll be able to get a good night's sleep since you no longer have to worry about me causing chaos?"

Shinohara's gaze sharpened as he stared at Kakashi with unnerving intensity. "If we become your friends, then you'll stop your unparalleled rampage of chaos and destruction?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yup!" he answered brightly.

"It's a deal."

"Shinohara!" Amon gasped. "He's a ghoul!"

"And he can kill us at any time," Shinohara said flatly. "So if I'm going to die, I'd rather die on a full night's sleep. We've been awake for nearly forty-eight consecutive hours now. Suzuya is one coffee away from caffeine overdose, and I'm not so far behind him."

True enough, both Shinohara and Suzuya were vibrating so fast, it was nearly imperceptible.

"And despite the fact that Kakashi is right in front of us, Mado still hasn't blinked in the past five minutes," Shinohara gestured at Mado, who was staring unblinkingly at Kakashi. "Let's face the reality of the situation. Kakashi is easily an SSS-rank ghoul. He has an SEP field. If he wishes to call for a temporary ceasefire, then I say we take it."

"But - " Amon tried to protest but Shinohara cut him off.

"I'm pulling rank on you here," Shinohara sighed. "I know you don't like it, but... As much as I'd like to pretend otherwise, Kakashi has all of us at his mercy right now. I'd rather become friends with him now, than wait for him to grow bored and massacre everyone in this Center."

He turned to Kakashi and bowed. "Thank you for the generous gifts yesterday, Kakashi. We really appreciated them."

Kakashi smiled happily. "It was no problem. I'm glad you saw the light."

"Is there anything you need?" Shinohara asked politely.

Kakashi snapped his fingers. "As a matter of fact, yes. Friends do each other favors, right?"

"Right..." Shinohara nodded slowly.

"Then... well, it's kinda embarrassing to ask..." Kakashi demurely placed a hand on his cheek. "But... umm..."

Amon sighed, already prepared for the insane ghoul in front of them to ask for porn manga -

"I'm hungry."

They all froze.

"I'm sorry?" Shinohara asked hesitantly.

"I've been able to resist the hunger so far, but... well, it's starting to get really painful. Kinda irritating, not gonna lie," Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly. "So if you guys could hit me up with some human meat, that would be great."

The Investigators exchanged wary looks as they were suddenly reminded of the painful fact that no matter how bright and cheerful Kakashi was, he was still a ghoul who consumed human flesh.

"I'll fill out an acquisition form," Shinohara said even as they all backed away slowly from Kakashi.

Kakashi merely beamed at them. "Thank you!"

XxX

"What the hell was that?!" Amon demanded once Kakashi left to introduce himself to the rest of the Center. Screams of terror began sounding off in the distance. "Why are we entering an - an alliance with Kakashi-?"

"Keep your voice down," Shinohara said quietly. "And we're not entering an alliance."

Amon blinked. "We're not?"

"Of course we're not, my dear Amon," Mado giggled. "The moment we get the opportunity, we're going to stab him in the back. Wait until he lets his guard down, then exterminate him. Well done, Shinohara. You just presented us with a golden opportunity."

Shinohara inclined his head, smiling. "Indeed."

"Huh," Amon looked abashed. "Sorry for doubting you, Shinohara."

"No worries," Shinohara waved him off. "I admit, the deception leaves a bad taste in my mouth... but, he is a ghoul. No ghoul becomes as powerful as he does without a body count numbering in the hundreds. Perhaps peace is possible, but..." He paused, his expression becoming thoughtful for a moment before he shook his head. "No, forget it."

"Now then, Akira," Mado turned to his daughter. "You know the plan." He grinned maniacally. "Go capture Kakashi's heart and make him yours."

"Cringe, dad. Cringe."

XxX

Kakashi stared down at the slab of meat in front of him, frowning in distaste. It was raw and looked disgusting. It wasn't poisoned - he already checked.

With a deep breath to steel himself, he blurred, lowering his mask, stuffing the entire thing into his mouth, then pulling up his mask again. He chewed, expecting a revolting taste but receiving something entirely different.

It tasted delicious.

Damn it.

He supposed if he was normal, he should be having some existential crisis right now, but he was Hatake fucking Kakashi, so he just accepted it without a second thought.

"Hello there, Kakashi."

Kakashi looked up to see a blonde investigator giving him a clearly forced smile. Short hair, green eyes, pale creamy skin. She was pretty. "Yo!" he greeted. "What's up?"

"My name's Akira," Akira smiled at him. "Are you my toe? Cause I wanna bang you against some furniture at my place."

...

Wait.

What?

Kakashi blinked, wondering if he heard that wrong. "... what?"

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Kakashi blinked again, at a complete loss for words.

"There'll only be seven planets after I destroy Uranus," Akira tried again, her expression completely serious.

Kakashi nearly choked on his spit. He looked around to see if anyone was playing a prank on him, but he and Akira were the only ones in the cafeteria.

What the fuck?!

A thought entered his mind that filled him with horrified amusement.

Was... was she trying to seduce him?

Kakashi was no stranger to seducing ops - he had been on both ends before (don't ask). It was an entirely viable strategy. However, Akira was, quite frankly, terrible at it. It was almost unreal. Though to be fair, it wasn't as if she would've been taught how to seduce ghouls.

Actually, now that he thought about it...

Kakashi gave a mental giggle.

It was time to show her how it's properly done.

Kakashi stood up and stepped forward until he was just a few inches away from her. She tilted her head up to look up at him, painfully aware of how close he was to her.

"Maa, you're kinda cute." Akira didn't blush or even respond with some witty banter, which showed her inexperience in the art of seducing someone. Fortunately - or unfortunately - for her, Kakashi was a master.

Kakashi pulled down his mask and shot her a brilliant smile.

Akira froze before her eyes widened and a furious blush appeared on her face.

"I know a really good coffee place," Kakashi whispered, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine. "Anteiku. I'll see you there at six tonight?"

Slowly, Akira nodded, averting her eyes. "O-Okay," she stammered.

"It's a date, then!" Kakashi gave her one last smile before he pulled his mask back up. "See you there!" he waved before he dematerialized in a Shunshin.

Akira was left standing there, staring after him, a blush still on her face.

XxX

"Did it work?" Amon asked the moment she stepped back into the room.

Akira didn't respond for a few minutes. "A date," she finally murmured, deep in thought. "I have a date at six tonight. I - I need to get ready."

"It worked?" Amon looked pleasantly surprised. "Kakashi fell for it? Damn, he must be one horny ghoul. Good job!"

Akira ignored him, instead still muttering to herself. "What should I wear? What does Kakashi like?" She whirled to Mado. "Father, I need your porn manga to see what Kakashi likes," she stated bluntly.

Mado grinned. "Ah, I'm glad you finally saw the light."

XxX

As they watched Akira leave for the date with an almost excited look on her face, Shinohara frowned slightly.

"Do you get the feeling that our plan somehow backfired on us?" he asked.

"Nahhhhh," Mado replied with a proud, fatherly grin on his face.

"I believe in Akira," Amon said with conviction.

"She wants to get into his pants," Suzuya added.

"Suzuya!" Shinohara admonished with a weary sigh. "Well, at any rate, it's time to report back to HQ about what happened today - "

Amon, Mado, and Suzuya blurred. Amon sprinted for the door, Mado close behind him. A second before they reached it, however, Shinohara blurred as well, appearing in front of them, blocking the door.

"You're not leaving - " he was cut by the sound of breaking glass. Suzuya had jumped through a window to escape.

Shinohara sighed again, making a mental reminder to check up on all the cuts and lacerations that Suzuya just gained later. Then he turned back to Amon and Mado, narrowing his eyes. "You are not leaving me to report to HQ by myself," he growled. "Prepare yourselves, gentlemen, for the worst meeting you are about to experience in your entire life. We are going to face HQ. Together."

For a moment, Mado and Amon briefly considered fighting Shinohara and escaping. However, there was a dangerous look in Shinohara's eyes, as if he was daring them to try.

"Fine," Mado relented with the utmost reluctance.

Amon whimpered. Well, at least Akira was having as bad of a time as they were, considering how she was being forced to have a date with a ghoul. She must be suffering terribly just like them, Amon consoled himself.

XxX

Akira laughed lightly as Kakashi grinned at her.

As much as Akira hated to admit it, Kakashi was a surprisingly good conversationalist. At first, she had been tense around him, but after a couple minutes, she relaxed when it became apparent Kakashi wasn't going to do anything.

He was a hell of a lot better company than all the guys at the CCG. Funny, witty, charming, cheerful, really fucking good looking... It was a pity he was a ghoul, so she had to kill him.

Kakashi was in a disguise, of course. She didn't want him to cause any chaos for the poor coffee shop or its patrons. He had on glasses and a hat - and surprisingly, that was enough. Nobody suspected anything.

"Ah, thank you, Touka," Kakashi smiled at the waitress who brought him another cup of coffee. Akira felt a flash of jealousy, though she quickly smothered it. She was on a mission. A mission.

Strangely enough, the waitress seemed to shoot her a look of barely-concealed anger. Probably because Akira was the one on a date with Kakashi, and not her.

" - I gotta say though, the past few days have been rather nostalgic," Kakashi said reminiscently. "It was like screwing with my cute little students all over again."

"You were a teacher?" Akira inquired, feeling extremely sorry for Kakashi's students.

Kakashi nodded, smiling fondly. "I had three students. Naruto, Sakura, and" - his expression darkened slightly - "Sasuke."

"You didn't like the last one?" Akira asked curiously.

Kakashi was silent for a moment. "I failed him," he finally sighed. "I completely underestimated the extent of just how mentally fucked up he was, and due to my blindness and inaction, that led to him betraying us all and becoming an internationally wanted criminal."

"Oh," Akira paused. "That's... unfortunate." She made a mental note to search up Sasuke on all the world's databases.

"But enough of him," Kakashi redirected the conversation. "Hey, I wanna ask you a hypothetical question."

"Shoot."

"Theoretically, if there was a ghoul who had never harmed a human and only ate suicide victims to survive... what would you do to such a ghoul?" Kakashi inquired, his uncharacteristically focused gaze piercing into her.

"I would kill it," Akira said without any hesitation.

Kakashi tilted his head. "Why?"

"Just because the ghoul hasn't hurt anyone yet, doesn't mean that they wouldn't in the future."

"Couldn't the same logic be applied to humans?" Kakashi pressed on.

Akira shook her head. "That's different. Ghouls are incapable of feeling emotions. They - you - are just animals who operate purely on instinct. You are simply a disease that should be eradicated." No matter how hot you are, she added in her mind.

There was the sound of breaking glass in the corner. Akira looked over to see that the blue-haired waitress had dropped a cup and was now cleaning it up. Oddly enough, the waitress had a furious expression on her face. It probably wasn't her first broken cup recently.

"That's just the CCG propaganda talking again," Kakashi sighed.

"Of course you would call it propaganda," Akira dismissed. "You are, after all, a ghoul."

Kakashi shrugged. "Only for a few days. I was a human before that."

Akira paused. "I'm sorry?"

"I was turned into a ghoul a few days ago," Kakashi said casually, as if he was commenting on the weather. "Don't ask me how; I don't know either."

Akira sighed. "At least come up with a more believable lie, please."

"I'm not - " Kakashi paused. "Ehh, whatever. Believe what you want. Either way, I can see that your mind isn't going to be changed. I assume that your colleagues feel the same way?"

Akira hesitated before nodding. "Ghouls are nothing but a disease afflicting humanity. Coexistence is impossible - only total eradication. What you speak of - peace - is an inconceivable notion. I can't tell if you're incredibly naive, or you're just screwing with us."

Kakashi hummed. "I see. I admit, a tiny part of me had hoped that they entered the 'friendship' with me because they genuinely believed that it could work... but it appears their only reason was so they could lure me into a trap to betray and attempt to kill me later," he sighed.

Akira froze. "That's not - "

"Don't bother denying it," Kakashi drawled. "I'm not stupid. I'm not offended, either. Don't worry - it's not as if it's actually going to work."

Akira inclined her head. "Fair enough." From anyone else, she would've thought them arrogant. However, Kakashi was powerful enough for it to be true.

Kakashi then let out a heavy sigh. "Maa, but it's kinda annoying. I confess, I'm stuck at an impasse as to how to convince you all. Using logical arguments won't work because you guys are dead set on believing that ghouls are incapable of human emotions and empathy."

"Nothing you do can convince us," Akira shrugged. "It would be as if a cancer cell tried to convince a human that it wouldn't do any harm."

Kakashi sipped from his cup of coffee, relishing the taste. His gaze turned contemplative. "I wonder though..."

XxX

"You're telling me... that you entered a friendship with Codename: Kakashi?"

"Not exactly, sir," Shinohara responded. "It's more of a temporary ceasefire while we wait for Arima- "

"Unacceptable," a new voice snapped. "The CCG does not negotiate or show any mercy to ghouls - "

"With all due respect, sir, right now we're the ones at Kakashi's mercy," Shinohara said grimly.

"He could slaughter all of us without even breaking a sweat," Amon added, clenching his fists. "We're completely outclassed here."

"Kakashi is arrogant," Mado giggled insanely. "That will be his downfall. We just need to be patient. Wait for the perfect opportunity, maneuver him into a death trap - and then attack."

"You already had the golden opportunity!" The first voice snarled. "He was right here! Why didn't you just use the RC Control gas grenade?!"

"The surroundings were inadequate," Shinohara calmly explained. "Kakashi was able to cut through solid steel shutters. The RC Control gas grenade requires at least a minute to take effect. In that time, with his speed, Kakashi would've easily escaped, and we would've lost the element of surprise. We need to prepare a special facility with reinforced titanium shutters and walls for a 100% chance of success."

"And how long would it take until construction is finished?"

Shinohara winced. "Several weeks."

"Absolutely not," a third voice declared. "He's already made an utter fool of the CCG. We will call in international help if we have to. Kakashi will be dead by the end of this week, mark my words. We are not going to wait. We need to eliminate Kakashi by any means necessary."

"Sir, I don't believe that's wise - " Shinohara began but was cut off.

"That's an order. If Kakashi shows up, I expect you to kill on sight. Any... friendship, any ceasefire, any alliance is strictly forbidden." The voice left no room for argument. "You're all dismissed."

XxX

"I'll walk you home?" Kakashi offered.

Akira smiled. "Thank you, but no."

Kakashi paused. "If you're worried about me finding out where you live, I already know."

"That's not creepy at all," Akira said dryly.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Calm down - I'm not a stalker, I swear. I gather intelligence on everyone who's trying to kill me."

Akira furrowed her brows. "But how?" she asked.

Kakashi looked at her, amused. "Please. Breaking into your databases was child's play."

Akira's eyes widened. "You're a hacker?!"

"Nope," Kakashi popped the p. "I'm just really good at guessing passwords."

She glared at him, to which he just grinned.

"So do you want me to walk you home?" Kakashi offered again.

Akira hesitated before nodding. "Sure, why not."

As they made their way through Tokyo, Kakashi entertained her by pointing out all the CCG surveillance teams. His counterespionage skills were astonishing. Akira had never seen anything like it. He could deduce if someone was a CCG agent with one glance alone.

Kakashi was trained. Professional. Did he work for an intelligence agency? The KGB? CIA?

Whatever the case, Akira doubted she would be able to find out.

"We're here," she announced when they reached her apartment.

"Alright. Good night," Kakashi said.

Akira raised her eyebrows. "You don't wish to come in?"

Kakashi laughed. "Sorry, but no. I have other business to attend to. See you tomorrow!"

"See you."

Akira made sure not to blink, staring intensely at Kakashi. Even then, Kakashi disappeared, moving too fast for her eye to see.

XxX

Kakashi stared at the boy sitting at the counter crying over a cup of coffee.

"Between you and me," he confided to Touka, "The coffee here is good, but not that good."

Touka promptly swore and whirled around to face him. "Sweet merciful Buddha, don't scare me like that!" she snapped angrily.

"Or maybe you can improve your situational awareness." Kakashi dodged the punch she sent his way. "Maa, let's not get violent here."

"I despise you with every fiber of my being," Touka growled. "Why the hell did you bring a Dove here? To Anteiku? Do you want all of us to be killed?"

"Of course not," Kakashi replied. "It's called hiding in plain sight. They're all focused on me, so they would never suspect you guys."

"That's the worst reasoning I've ever heard - " Touka took a deep, calming breath. "Whatever. Just... you're powerful. This is all your fault. So please, don't let them come for Anteiku." Even though she glared at him, her voice had a desperate edge.

Kakashi's gaze softened. "Don't worry. I won't let them attack this place."

"Thank you," Yoshimura interjected. "At any rate, Touka has told me about your plan to 'unite humans and ghouls.'" He opened his eyes, revealing red-and-black eyes. "Did you truly mean that?"

"I did," Kakashi nodded.

"You think it's possible?"

"I do."

Yoshimura's gaze bore into Kakashi. "I see..."

"It's pointless," Touka cut in, narrowing her eyes. "You heard the Dove this evening. She considers us to be nothing but a disease, and I guarantee that every Dove shares that perspective."

Kakashi hummed. "I'm not saying it would be easy. I just need to figure out a way to convince the Investigators that ghouls are still people with emotions and hopes and dreams."

"Well, good luck with that," Touka rolled her eyes. "It's not going to happen. Hell, just look at him."

She nodded towards the boy, who had stopped crying and was looking at them with curiosity and fear.

"Monsters, he calls us," Touka said scornfully. "What a joke."

Kakashi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Kaneki Ken here was a human up until a few days ago, when ghoul organs were transplanted into him," Yoshimura explained.

Kakashi's eyebrows rose. "You should sue the doctor," he said bluntly. Kaneki blinked. "For what it's worth, though, I know what you're going through right now."

Kaneki looked at him in surprise. "You had ghoul organs transplanted into you too?"

"Nah," Kakashi shook his head. "It was more of a vengeful goddess and trans-dimensional fuckup sort of thing. No doctors were involved, thankfully. But yeah - I was a human up until a few days ago as well."

Kaneki blinked, unsure of how to respond. "Oh..."

"Being a ghoul isn't honestly too bad," Kakashi continued. "I mean, yeah, it sucks not being able to eat human food, and eating humans is kinda disgusting, but other than that, it's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Despair filled Kaneki's gaze. "I'm a monster now - "

"Oh for the love of god," Kakashi groaned dramatically. "It's not the species that makes someone a monster. It's the choices they make with their life."

Kaneki paused. "That's... actually a really good point. Hey, who are you again? Sorry, I don't think I caught your name."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows before he realized he still had on his disguise. He released the Henge, the glasses and hat disappearing.

Kaneki's eyes widened in shock. "Y-You're Kakashi!" he yelped.

"How the fuck didn't you recognize him before?!" Touka asked incredulously. "Now that I think about it, how did nobody recognize you this entire evening?! Glasses and a hat is not enough to conceal an identity!"

"You'd be surprised," Kakashi chuckled. Some light Genjutsu layered onto the Henge certainly helped. "Anyways, kid - " he froze. "Wait a minute..."

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Touka muttered.

"You're a human turned into a ghoul, right?" Kakashi's intense gaze was focused on Kaneki.

Kaneki nodded. "Y-Yeah."

"Are you psychologically sound? Do you like torturing bunnies in your spare time? Have you killed anyone before? Are you a sadist?"

Kaneki frowned, looking slightly disturbed. "Umm... Yes, no, no, and definitely not."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a literature student going to college."

Satisfaction filled Kakashi's smile. "You're perfect..." he breathed.

A half-ghoul, half-human. Someone who existed in both worlds. A relatively well-adjusted individual.

"Perfect? Perfect for what?" Kaneki looked hopelessly confused.

"Nothing, nothing," Kakashi waved him off. "Hey, Touka, do me a favor and look after Kaneki, will you?"

"And why the hell would I want to do that?" Touka shot back.

"Consider it a favor to me?"

"I'd sooner die," Touka growled.

"Maa, that's harsh."

"We'll take care of him," Yoshimura promised, giving Touka a look. Touka merely groaned in response.

"Brilliant!" Kakashi turned to leave, but stopped when the elderly ghoul called out to him.

"Kakashi," Yoshimura began, his kakugan gleaming dangerously as Killing Intent filled the room, the suffocating aura causing Kaneki and even Touka to tremble. "Thanks to your actions, the 20th Ward is now swarmed with the most dangerous ghouls and Investigators alike. This is your mess. Make sure you clean it up."

"I will," Kakashi nodded, his posture completely relaxed.

"And one more thing... if that Investigator finds out that Anteiku is a place for ghouls - "

"Then I'll protect this place," Kakashi cut in, his expression uncharacteristically serious. "No matter what you may think of me, I'm not heartless. Besides, it would be inconsiderate and just plain bad manners to let you all suffer because of my actions." Touka snorted incredulously.

Yoshimura nodded once. "Good." The oppressive feeling vanished. "For your sake - and ours... I hope you're as strong as you think you are."

Kakashi laughed in genuine amusement. "Compared to what I normally have to deal with, this is practically a vacation." Oddly enough, Touka tensed up at his words. "That being said, I'll take my leave now. I just came here to let you know that my plan worked."

"What plan-?" Touka's eyes widened. "No fucking way. You actually forced them to become your friends?"

"Of course!" Kakashi grinned. "Isn't it great? One step closer to peace!"

"God, you're unironically insane."

XxX

Kakashi braced himself as the memories of the Kage Bunshins hit him. Little progress was made on the Hiraishin seal. Damn it.

As he created more Kage Bunshins to work through the night, he thought back to the events of the day.

Currently, there was no way Kakashi could convince the Investigators that ghouls weren't evil. Using logical arguments wouldn't work - it appeared that the Investigators were utterly convinced that ghouls were literally incapable of having emotions and morals; all they do is imitate human behavior. Classic brainwashing and psychology. Kakashi didn't even blame the CCG - it made things more efficient that way.

To the CCG, ghouls were considered to be nothing more than a disease. There was no "coexisting" with cancer, after all. Sure, a ghoul might act human, but at its basest level, it was nothing more than a rabid animal that should be put down. It was only natural to destroy a ghoul.

No amount of logical arguments could convince them otherwise. Logic, in itself, was incapable of overcoming brainwashing and conditioning - except for the most intelligent of individuals such as Itachi or himself. Kakashi had already seen it with his visit to the CCG today - no matter what they see or hear, they would either try to justify it, or outright avoid it.

However, while logic might not work, sentiment certainly could. Sentiment was the single most effective way to break through brainwashing and conditioning. That had been demonstrated with Sai, that had been demonstrated with Yamato - that had been demonstrated with Kakashi himself. After all, hadn't Obito been the one to break Kakashi out of his self-induced conditioning?

Unfortunately, Kakashi doubted the Investigators could feel any sentiment for either him or the peaceful ghouls at Anteiku. He had already burned that bridge due to his... actions, and the Investigators would just assume the peaceful ghouls were putting on an act or something.

Kaneki Ken, however, was a human turned into a ghoul. A legitimately good, innocent human who became a monster due to a single night of bad luck. The CCG would be able to sympathize with him. They would feel sentiment. Kaneki would be the bridge that finally connected humans and ghouls.

He would be proof that ghouls weren't a disease, that they were people with emotions and hopes and dreams, just like humans.

Plans whirled to life in Kakashi's mind, layers upon layers of strategies.

He would give Kaneki a week or two to adapt to life as a ghoul first. Understand that ghouls weren't monsters. After that, he would ask Kaneki if he was willing to go along with the plan. Kakashi wasn't Danzo - he wasn't going to play god with people's lives. If Kaneki didn't want to do it, Kakashi would just create another plan. Something told Kakashi that Kaneki would agree, though.

Meanwhile... To show the CCG that he was being serious about peaceful coexistence, Kakashi needed to hunt down violent, evil ghouls who genuinely enjoyed causing pain and suffering. He couldn't have the few bad apples spoil the whole thing.

Time for some more intelligence gathering. Kakashi created another Kage Bunshin to break into secure CCG facilities to access the database.

After that, he reclined on the comfortable couch, letting out a few giggles as he continued to read the magnificent work of art.

Life was good.

XxX

Life was terrible for Amon Koutarou.

"I used to believe in justice," Amon said hollowly. "If there's evil, then it will be eradicated by good. Justice will always prevail. But what am I supposed to do when justice is just crushed by overwhelming power? Kakashi is a ghoul, yet he's too powerful to be stopped."

"Have faith, Amon," Mado patted his back in a rare display of comfort. "Kakashi will fall. It's only a matter of time."

"Yeah? How?!" Amon demanded. "He fought the entire 20th Branch Center by himself. And single-handedly won. Without a single scratch. Only using his legs. While reading a book. Oh, and he can apparently turn invisible. Even with the RC Control gas, I don't see us winning. He'll have some strategy ready, some sort of countermeasure."

Mado opened his mouth but then closed it.

Amon sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. It's just - It's been a terrible few days." There were dark circles under his eyes, and he seemed to be running on fumes.

"It's fine," Mado said, his gaze understanding. "In fact, let's call it a night. Get some sleep, everyone. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"YES!" Suzuya cheered. "Finally!"

"Oh, and one more thing, Amon," Shinohara spoke up. This entire time, he had been tapping away on his laptop. "Don't lose hope. Never lose hope. You want to know how we're going to defeat Kakashi?"

He smiled triumphantly. "Special Class Ghoul Investigator Kishou Arima is done with his mission. He's arriving in the 20th Ward tomorrow. It's time to end this."

Amon's eyes widened before his face set in determination. "Kakashi will fall," he vowed.

"That's the spirit," Mado chuckled.

XxX

"I hate Kakashi," Touka growled.

Yoshimura glanced at her. "Life truly is unfair, isn't it," he murmured sadly.

Touka drew in a sharp breath. "How do you - " she asked in shock before she cut off. "Yeah, it is," she finally said. "Life is really fucking unfair. I mean, I always knew that, but Kakashi is a giant neon walking reminder of that fact."

Yoshimura inclined his head.

"Why does he get to be powerful enough that he can do whatever the hell he wants?" Touka continued bitterly. "The tightrope doesn't apply to him simply because of how powerful he is. He can play with the Doves for fun. He's free to live his life however he wants."

Every day was like walking a tightrope for Touka. For her to live as a human, every second was spent wondering Can I continue or will I fall? If she made a single mistake that led to someone discovering she was a ghoul, then it would be all over. If she came into contact with a single Investigator, then it would be all over. The threat of death constantly hung over her head.

But it was different for Kakashi. He was powerful enough that rather than walking a tightrope, he was walking on a solid, well-paved path. He had the power she so desperately wanted, but was using that power to screw with the CCG and 'have fun'.

It wasn't fair.

Life wasn't fair.

Sometimes, being a ghoul was shitty beyond belief.

"You may be correct," Yoshimura said quietly after a long moment of silence. "However... he's using that power to help make the lives of ghouls better."

Touka scoffed. "Do you really believe that?"

"Not really," Yoshimura admitted. "But then again, nobody believed that the Owl would settle down and become a peaceful coffee shop owner, but here I am. And I am willing to believe, Touka. Because the alternative is to accept that the most dangerous ghouls and Investigators in all of Japan are now in the 20th Ward, and that it would have all been for nothing."

He turned to clean the counter. "We'll just have to wait and see. And, most importantly, hope."

XxX

Kishou Arima scanned the report he just received. As he read, a smile slowly began spreading across his lips. It was a small smile, nearly imperceptible, but it was there.

Tomorrow would be... interesting.


Kakashi is a little more serious than usual in this chapter when he interacted with the Investigators because this information is actually important to his plans.

Thank you all for reading, and please review!