"I must say..." Kakashi faltered, scratching his head awkwardly. "This is a new one, even for me."
"MY LORD!" came the resounding reply as dozens of voices resonated with each other. The moment Kakashi had entered the 20th CCG Center, he had immediately been met with a whirlwind of motion. For a second, he'd thought that he was being attacked until he realized that all these people were scrambling to get up and bow down to him.
Kakashi glanced around the room, trying to see if it was a prank or some clever diversion. Judging by how the Investigators weren't making any threatening moves, it wasn't. In fact, the Investigators didn't even seem to be focused on him; instead, they were glaring at the still-bowing researchers and scientists and agents -
He blinked when he caught sight of a statue of himself standing majestically in a corner of the room with what appeared to be sacrificial offerings laid around it. His eyebrows rose when he realized that said offerings were primarily in the form of cultured manga. Absently, he made a mental note to collect them later - he was nearly done with his current series and needed something new to read.
At any rate... What in the world?
Had - had he unintentionally started a cult?!
Huh.
Well then.
This was certainly... unexpected.
Slowly, an amused grin began spreading across Kakashi's face.
Now, how to make the most of this...
「」
"My disciples!"
Lieutenant Takeshi instantly snapped to attention, focusing all his attention on Kakashi. He had been one of the ones who had been convinced to convert earlier that day - not that he needed much convincing in the first place. After all, ever since that fateful day when he had ordered the attack on Kakashi, he had grown increasingly awed and fearful of the ghoul's power.
When he saw how Kakashi defied not only the CCG, but the laws of the physical world itself...
It was when he realized the fatal mistake in his thinking.
Kakashi was no ghoul.
Kakashi was a god.
And not just a god, but a benevolent god, for even though Takeshi and many others had blasphemed against him, Kakashi had remained kind and forgiving, utilizing only non-lethal measures when taking them down. He was merciful and showed no hints of malice whatsoever.
And what was more, Kakashi desired peace between humanity and ghouls. He wished to bring an end to conflict, an end to the never-ending cycle of death and suffering.
They weren't just empty words either. Kakashi had demonstrated with his every action that he meant what he said.
Lieutenant Takeshi wasn't a very religious man, yet he found himself pouring his every ounce of faith - faith he didn't even know he had - into Kakashi.
"I am glad you have all seen the light," Kakashi continued. A wind suddenly began blowing in the room, the air crackling with power. "You all have chosen a difficult path in following me. You will face opposition from many. Your friends. Your colleagues. Perhaps even your own family."
He stepped forward and his posture shifted. Where he had before appeared lazy and relaxed, he now emanated sheer presence and authority.
"At times it may seem like the entire world is against you, denouncing you as insane or deranged individuals," Kakashi spoke softly. "However, you mustn't falter. You must endure and carry on. It may seem like a lonely path, but I promise you, it will be worth it in the end."
And here Kakashi's aura exploded outward, a dense pressure filling the room. And yet, it didn't crush them down, but instead buoyed them up.
"For we are fighting for peace! We are fighting for a world in which ghouls and humans can coexist without the constant fear of death looming over them!" Kakashi's voice resounded through the room, striking deep into their hearts. "Now, I have but only one question." His voice dropped to a whisper as he regarded them. "Are you all with me?"
He was met with a thundering roar of agreement. For a solid half a minute, the room was filled with a cacophony of shouts and cheers, their pure unadulterated passion and enthusiasm clear. Then, they slowly began to chant.
"Kakashi! Kakashi! KAKASHI! KAKASHI! KAKASHI!"
Off to the side, Kakashi saw Shinohara with his head in his hands. Next to him, Amon's face had turned an interesting shade of purple that couldn't possibly be good for his blood pressure.
Kakashi smiled.
Best. Vacation. Ever.
「」
"What the hell was that?!" Amon immediately demanded the instant the door closed behind them. He, Shinohara, and Kakashi had gone to an empty office to have a meeting. Every so often, they could hear the scientists cheer in the background.
Kakashi looked at him innocently. "What was what?"
Amon very nearly went nuclear just there, his hands twitching wildly and his veins practically bursting.
"Oh!" Revelation dawned on Kakashi's face. "You mean my motivational speech?" He eye-smiled. "It wasn't half bad, wasn't it? Not as good as what my student could've done, but still pretty good if I do say so myself."
"WHY?!"
Kakashi blinked. "Why? Well, my faithful disciples were expecting something. I couldn't exactly let them down, y'know?"
Amon snarled at him.
"Amon," Shinohara placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "Don't. He's not worth it."
"I object to that," Kakashi interjected. "I'll have you know that I'm actually worth a significant amount. Even I'm surprised by the sheer number of bounties on my head."
"Kakashi," Shinohara gave a weary sigh. "You already beat us. Humiliated us. Proven that even Arima couldn't stand up to you. What more do you want?"
Kakashi hummed. "Before I get to that, could you please call in Mado, Arima, and Suzuya? I'd rather not have to explain everything twice."
Shinohara hesitated before nodding. "Fine."
「」
"Before we begin, I have an important matter to discuss," Kakashi leaned forward and steepled his fingers, his gaze fully serious as he looked around the table where they were assembled. Amon, Akira, and Shinohara tensed up, whereas Suzuya and Mado looked excited. Arima showed no outward emotions, though his eyes did sharpen slightly.
"In light of recent knowledge that I apparently now have a group of faithful followers - "
"A cult," Amon cut in flatly. "It's a cult."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi smoothly responded. "At any rate, since we have all been together since the beginning - except for Arima, but we can make an exception - I've made a decision." He spread his arms magnanimously. "Rejoice, for I am officially appointing you all as my Holy Priests!"
Suzuya whooped in delight. The rest didn't share his enthusiasm.
"Please don't call us that," Shinohara requested with a pained expression.
"No can do," Kakashi grinned. "Moving on, I just discovered the most fascinating fact."
"What, the fact that mermaids actually have their own special taste? " Akira asked sarcastically.
"Nope. Even more fascinating than that," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Did you guys know that the chairman of the CCG is a ghoul?"
"Yeah, yeah - " Akira froze. "Wait. What?"
There was a moment of silence as Kakashi's declaration sunk in.
Amon was the first to react. "You dare?" he hissed, shooting to his feet. "You seriously think we're that stupid?!"
Kakashi didn't respond, instead looking at Arima and raising his left eyebrow pointedly.
Arima held his gaze for a second before his eyes flickered and he inclined his head. "It's true."
Those two words seemed to have a physical effect on the Investigators. Shinohara looked as if he was just punched in the gut, and Amon physically staggered back in shock. Even Suzuya looked rather unsettled.
"A-Arima?" Akira said tentatively, her face pale. "Is - is this a joke?"
"I'm afraid not," Arima responded before hesitating. That alone was astonishing to the other Investigators - Arima did not hesitate. Finally, he spoke. "I should know," he murmured, his voice nearly inaudible. "He is, after all, my own father."
Shinohara looked as if he just took a flying roundhouse kick to the face at that revelation.
"What?" Mado rasped out, both of his eyes so wide they actually looked to be the same size. "He's your father?!" he paused as something occurred to him. "And he's a ghoul?! You're a ghoul?!"
"I'm a half-ghoul," Arima explained quietly. "Rest assured that I can consume human food and that I have no need for human flesh. Functionally, I'm a human in every way except for superhuman physical abilities and a vastly shortened lifespan."
Kakashi raised his eyebrows in interest- he actually didn't know that part.
"But - if the leaders of the CCG are ghouls, then why are they hunting down other ghouls?" Amon asked, looking hopelessly lost.
"Because other ghouls are stronger than him," Arima answered. "It's a rather ingenious strategy. In order to maintain their power, they perpetuate the conflict between ghouls and humans so that the two sides are too busy killing each other instead of focusing on them." He tilted his head. "I've been told that the birdcage metaphor is rather apt here - "
"Spare us, we're not literature students," Mado snapped. "So you're saying that the only reason the CCG and ghouls are fighting is because of the chairman?"
"The entire Washuu clan, to be specific, but yes," Arima replied. "The whole thing about ghouls being incapable of feeling human emotions, of being nothing but brutal monsters? All propaganda designed to keep the two sides apart," his gaze softened. "They are as human as you or I."
Mado stared at him for several seconds, seemingly going through all five stages of grief at once before his expression became blank. He stood up and walked over to another desk in the corner, the others watching him curiously.
"Dad?" Akira asked hesitantly.
The elderly Investigator didn't respond, instead taking a deep calming breath before promptly flipping the desk over. Wood splintered and pens noisily clattered to the ground as Mado let out a blood curdling scream of pure rage.
"They're all lies?" Amon asked hollowly, his eyes begging Arima to shake his head.
"Always has been," Arima nodded. "Ghouls feel happiness, sadness, grief, and empathy. There are wicked ghouls out there, I'm not denying that. However, there are just as many ghouls who simply wish to lead normal, happy lives." His eyes clouded over. "Ghouls who wish to be just an ordinary student where the most they have to worry about is passing the end-of-year exam."
"I... see."
Slowly, Amon stood up and walked to another corner where a desk stood. He didn't even pause; he immediately flipped the desk over, letting out a roar of pure anger and frustration.
"You knew all this time, yet you never told anyone?" Shinohara asked, his gaze piercing into Arima.
Arima tilted his head. "What would've been the point? Nothing would've come out of it. The Washuu clan is too powerful. At best, I would've been discredited and arrested; at worst, I would've been executed for 'siding with the ghouls.' There was nothing I could've done. I even worked together with the leader of Aogiri Tree - "
"What?!" Akira gasped.
" - to try to find a solution, but what we came up with had an exceedingly low chance of succeeding," Arima continued. "I admit, I had almost lost hope in changing this unjust world we live in... until, of course, Kakashi appeared. A ghoul who was powerful enough to singlehandedly challenge the CCG and perhaps even come out on top."
"So you mean to say... our only hope - humanity's only hope - is Kakashi?" Shinohara asked weakly.
Arima nodded. "Indeed."
Shinohara stood up silently, scanned the office they were in, and saw that there were no more intact desks left. Undeterred, he walked over to the window and punched straight through it with an unholy roar. Even as the shattered shards of glass fell to the ground, Shinohara decided that that wasn't enough and punched the wall a few times as well, leaving several holes in the drywall.
Suzuya's eyes were shining with excitement. "Oh, so we are allowed to engage in wanton property destruction? I'm so bringing in a sledgehammer tomorrow."
For once, Shinohara didn't scold him.
"Now that we're all on the same page," Kakashi clapped his hands together. "I'm sure we can agree that the Washuu clan needs to be brought down as soon as possible?"
The Investigators all nodded determinedly. Or rather, Arima, Suzuya, and Akira did. The remaining three seemed to be undergoing various existential crises.
"Excellent," Kakashi smiled, a downright predatory glint appearing in his single visible eye. "Then, it's time to enact the plan. For that, I'll need to call in an associate of mine."
「」
"Yo, Eto!" Kakashi greeted cheerfully. "Glad you could make it."
Eto smiled. "Of course. I have to say, I did not expect to be escorted into a CCG Center like some VIP. They didn't even make me go through an RC Scanner." She tilted her head. "You really have the CCG whipped, huh."
The Investigators twitched.
Kakashi chuckled. "Personally, I prefer to think of it as us being... friends."
"Friends, my ass," Amon grumbled. "You've fooled them into thinking that you're some sort of god."
Eto giggled. "A god? My, you've certainly been busy."
Kakashi shrugged. "To be fair, it wasn't exactly my idea."
"You literally gave a sermon to them earlier!" Amon snapped.
"I've always been taught to take advantage of the opportunity."
Eto laughed before turning to Arima. "Arima, it's good to see you again."
"Eto," Arima inclined his head, his face impassive as usual.
"You know this ghoul?" Akira spoke up before pausing. "Err, at least I'm assuming she's a ghoul, since she apparently knows Kakashi..."
"I am a ghoul," Eto nodded. "A half-ghoul, to be specific. I'm sure you know of me. I'm Eto, the leader of Aogiri Tree," she introduced herself. Oddly enough she seemed to be intently focused on Mado and Akira.
Then she smiled. Arima immediately tensed up in alarm but was too late to stop her. "Though you may know me better as the One-Eyed Owl."
There was a moment of silence.
Then, Kureo Mado and Akira Mado flipped their shit.
Mado exploded into action, whipping his quinque out and attempting to bisect Eto. Akira was close behind him, also unleashing a powerful strike. Both of them had identical looks of fury on their faces.
Eto laughed as she danced out of the way. Glass shattered and the walls crumbled as she dodged their strikes with ease. The other Investigators were clearly torn between stopping the two and joining them.
Kakashi observed the scene for a solid two seconds before appearing in the middle of the fray, grabbing Mado and Akira by their wrists, and tossing them away. All while avoiding the whirlwind of quinques.
"Maa," Kakashi began carefully, standing between Eto and the two Investigators. "Is there something I'm unaware of?"
"She murdered my wife," Mado snarled.
"She murdered my mother," Akira's eyes were like chipped ice as she glared at Eto.
Kakashi opened his mouth before closing it a second later. He turned to stare at Eto.
Eto shrugged, not bothering to deny it. "For what it's worth, it wasn't personal?"
"Get out of my way, Kakashi," Mado growled. "She's mine."
Kakashi felt like he was trapped between a Kumo ninja and a Hyuuga clan member. That was to say, he was practically suffocating from the sheer killing intent and hatred in the air.
"Well then," he said slowly. "I'm sure we can discuss this without the need for violence. Mado, Akira, please put away your quinques. Eto - " she blinked innocently at him. "Just don't antagonize them please."
"Coming from you?" Eto quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "A bit ironic, don't you think?"
Kakashi sighed. "I'm aware. Anyway... This is something that we probably would've addressed sooner or later. Let's all take a seat, alright?"
"Not until her head is separated from her body," came the scathing reply from Mado.
Kakashi hesitated. This situation required empathy and emotional intelligence. Two qualities that he was a bit lacking on - okay, that he simply did not have, period. "Mado... I understand how you feel."
To be fair, he actually did. During the Fourth Great Shinobi War, he himself had had to cooperate with numerous foreign shinobi that had taken the lives of his comrades before. It had been immensely difficult for him to set aside any previous enmity and work together. Of course, he had compensated by irritating the living hell out of them - but that wasn't the point.
"If you truly understand, then you should know that this will never work out - "
"Then there will never be peace."
Mado paused. "Excuse me?"
"The world exists in a constant cycle of pain and death," Kakashi said, his expression fully serious. "Ghouls kill humans because that's the only way for them to survive. Humans kill ghouls because they seek revenge. So on and so forth ad infinitum. The only way to break such a cycle is to cast away your desire for revenge."
Akira scoffed. "You say that as if it's an easy thing to do."
"It's not," Kakashi stated bluntly. "It absolutely is not. The very opposite, in fact. However..."
He swept his gaze across the room. "Nobody said that attaining peace would be an easy task. In order to end this bloody conflict, we must all make sacrifices."
"She killed my wife," Mado hissed.
"She wouldn't have had to kill your wife if the world wasn't in such a state," Kakashi countered calmly.
"She's a murderer," Mado spat in return. "I can accept that there are good ghouls out there, but she is undoubtedly not one of them. And you want us to just work with her? Just forget what she did, all the people she's killed?!" For once, he didn't have his customary crazed smile on his face.
Kakashi was silent for a long moment.
This was it. This was the deciding moment of the fate of the entire human-ghoul conflict. Kakashi knew that there were countless humans out there with the exact same mindset as Mado. Should we just forget what the ghouls did? Should we just let them be in peace after all the lives they've destroyed?
And if Kakashi couldn't convince Mado here, then he would've had lost.
"Mado, I understand where you're coming from," Kakashi said, stepping forward. "Trust me, I do. However..." he looked at him, his gaze turning slightly sad. "Haven't you also murdered ghouls in cold blood?" he asked softly. "Destroyed the lives of countless ghouls?"
Mado flinched back, looking as if he had been struck.
"That's not fair," Akira interjected indignantly. "Dad was just killing ghouls who had already murdered humans - "
"All of them?" Kakashi tilted his head. "Are you sure that all of them were bad? Let me remind you again that there are ghouls who try to lead peaceful lives. Ghouls who get their food from suicide spots, or even from other ghouls because they themselves cannot hunt. Can you confidently say that every single ghoul your father slaughtered wasn't like that?"
Akira hesitated. "Well, no... But even if there were one or two good ghouls, I'm sure most of them were bad."
"Ah, yes," Kakashi drawled. "He's statistically not a murderer. I'm sure that makes it so much better." Akira stiffened at that.
"What's your point, Kakashi?" Shinohara asked quietly.
"My point is that we've all committed our fair share of atrocities in the past," Kakashi turned back to Mado. "And, as difficult as it is, we need to leave them in the past. Because right now, Mado, the world is wrong. The Washuu clan has perverted society, twisting it into something distorted. Ghouls and humans are at conflict when there is literally no reason for them to be. And we're the only ones who can change that."
Mado glared at Kakashi, but it wasn't as intense as before.
"I know it's hard - gods, I know. You wish to rip her throat out, to shove a knife into her eye, to make her suffer through the worst pain imaginable," Kakashi looked Mado straight in the eye. "However, we're fighting for something greater than us. Something far more important than revenge or vengeance."
Kakashi took a final step forward so that he stood face to face right in front of Mado.
"I know I'm asking for a lot here, but... for the sake of a better, brighter future, you need to move on." His single grey eye blazed with resolve. "Because while we may not be able to bring your wife back, we can change the world to prevent this from ever occurring to something else."
Mado's eyes flickered slightly and even the other Investigators looked contemplative at his words.
"If it makes you feel better, I'll let you fight me after we take down the Washuu clan," Eto offered.
Mado didn't respond for a minute, the tension steadily building up in the room. Then, finally, he smiled his normal maniacal smile. Everyone relaxed. "I've been waiting years to take down the Owl," he said. "I can afford to wait for a bit longer."
Kakashi breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Thank you. And you, Akira?"
She hesitated but then nodded. "Fine."
Shinohara rested his hand on Mado's shoulder in a silent show of support while Akira gripped her father's hand tightly.
"Now that that's done," Eto said, a gleam appearing in her eyes, "what exactly is the plan?"
Kakashi hummed. "Two things. First off, I need you guys to have my devoted followers prepare a high quality camera with broadcasting capabilities and a small wearable microphone."
"I really hate how I immediately knew you were talking about the CCG technicians," Shinohara muttered. "I really do."
"Second... Eto, I haven't really met that many ghouls yet. If possible, could you please find a peaceful ghoul? Preferably with numerous sympathetic traits? I'm sure you know where I'm going with this."
Eto hummed. "I see. I'll talk to my father. I'm sure he knows someone." She ignored the glances the Investigators exchanged among each other.
"Excellent. I'll be off then."
And he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.
Eto stared at the Investigators who stared right back at her. A strained silence descended over them.
"Sometimes," Eto began whimsically, "I wish I could teleport like that as well to avoid awkward situations like this. If you don't mind, I'll just get going now."
"Go," Mado growled. "Enjoy your time alive while you still can. Because once this is over..." He trailed off menacingly.
Eto smiled. "Understood."
「」
Kakashi tossed his head back and guzzled down the freshly-brewed coffee as if it was the finest alcohol in the world.
"You do not understand how hard I bullshitted just now," he gasped out as he finished the cup, slamming it down onto the countertop. "Oh gods, I had to channel my inner Naruto there. Do you realize how painful it is to channel my inner Naruto?"
Touka stared at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about. And how the hell are you drinking that through your mask without getting it wet?"
"Magic," Kakashi answered, muttering a quick thank you as Yoshimura refilled his cup before gulping down another cup of coffee. "But seriously though - I have no clue whatsoever how I managed to make it work. I was literally talking through my ass the entire time. And they bought it. I can't believe they actually bought it. I mean, do I look like a therapist to you - or even a remotely functioning human with a healthy mental, for that matter?"
"No," Touka answered bluntly.
Kakashi paused and shot her a look. "That's hurtful..."
"The truth hurts," she shrugged. "Deal with it."
Kakashi chuckled. "Fair enough. In any event... I've suddenly gained a new appreciation for one of my students. The fact that he could do this consistently... it's honestly impressive."
Indeed, the entire time he had been basing his actions and words entirely on the question 'What would Naruto say?' and bullshitting his way from there. He was surprised he was actually able to pull it off - but then again, he supposed there was a reason why he was known as Copy Ninja Kakashi.
"What happened?" Yoshimura inquired as he refilled Kakashi's cup once more.
"Your daughter killed the wife of one of the CCG agents I'm working with."
Yoshimura paused. "Oh. Yes, that does tend to throw a wrench into the works.'
"Yeah," Kakashi said glumly as he stared into his cup of coffee. "It was a real mess. Though I guess I had to deal with it eventually. There are lots of humans and ghouls who want revenge on each other. But in order to attain peace, they'll have no choice but to move on."
Yoshimura tilted his head. "That is certainly true. However, do you really think that humans and ghouls will be able to cast away their desire for revenge?"
Kakashi shrugged. "To be honest, I don't know. However, I did convince Mado and his daughter today to work with Eto. So that's some progress, I suppose."
The elderly ghoul hummed. "Indeed. Eto contacted me earlier, by the way, requesting to meet with Ryouko and Hinami Fueguchi."
Kakashi blinked. "She knew them by name?"
"Well, no. To be specific, she asked for, and I quote, 'one of those weak cannon fodder who can only get food from Anteiku due to their incompetence.' I just merely translated that to a peaceful ghoul who relied on Anteiku as their food source."
Kakashi opened his mouth, paused, then looked at Yoshimura. "You ever think your daughter has problems sometimes?" he asked curiously.
"You are the last person I want to hear that from," Yoshimura said, narrowing his eyes slightly. Kakashi only waited patiently. Finally, Yoshimura sighed. "But yes. Yes I do."
「」
"Hmm..." Kakashi rubbed his chin. "They're perfect."
Eto nodded. "So perfect it's sickening, if you know what I mean."
Kakashi paused. "I don't, actually. I don't know what you mean."
Eto shot him a sly smile. "I'm sure."
"Umm..." Ryouko Fueguchi glanced between them nervously. "Is there a reason why you wanted to see us?" Her daughter, Hinami, sat next to her on the couch, pressed tightly against her mother's side.
Kakashi clapped his hands together. "So!" he began merrily. "We're currently in the middle of executing a plan that will end the conflict between humans and ghouls. Would you like to help?"
Ryouko's eyes widened before she nodded frantically. "Y-yes! Anything to help. What do you need me to do?"
"It's simple," Eto took over, stepping forward and smiling. "All I need you to do is tell me your story. You and Hinami both."
Ryouko blinked. "What? How would that help?"
"You'll see," Kakashi replied cryptically with a smile.
「」
Approximately five days later, the widely acclaimed author Sen Takatsuki had a surprise release: the book Glassy Sky. When asked, she said that she was struck with sudden inspiration and just had to write it. It had been written, edited, published, and even translated into numerous languages in record time - it was rumoured her publisher had to pull several all-nighters to make it happen.
Glassy Sky was about a mother and a daughter ghoul living their lives. It was a gripping tale, how they were peaceful ghouls, how they were weak and couldn't fight, how they had to rely on the generosity of other ghouls to stay alive. It dived deep into their struggles of trying to lead normal human lives and fitting into society.
The story had two parts to it; the first part was told from the mother's perspective and the second part was told from the daughter's. The mother's story was immensely moving, of how she knew her daughter had a difficult life ahead of her and how she wished that she would be able to stay alive to help her but she knew her time was running out before an Investigator or a fellow ghoul would kill her and force her to leave her daughter alone in the cruel world.
On the other hand, the daughter's story was somehow both innocent and bleak, about how she had to constantly live in fear of people finding out that she was a ghoul, about she had never had friends before or much social interaction altogether, and how she loved reading and wanted to learn how to write but didn't know many words and wanted more than anything to go to school to learn but she couldn't because it was too risky.
The tale was crafted wonderfully, full of depth and emotions. Many online reviews mentioned having tears in their eyes while reading.
Ordinarily, the fact that it was a book told from the ghoul's perspective would already be compelling enough to draw in readers and make it moderately popular. After all, there were virtually no good ghoul-centric books out there; most ghoul-related books were told from the human perspective, typically involving heroics and top secret spy organizations. The only other ghoul-centric book published in the past decade was a trashy romance novel. Consequently, it was also a bestseller with several equally trashy sequels and a movie in the works...
At any rate, Glassy Sky would've been relatively popular no matter what. However, one tiny little thing guaranteed that it became an instant overnight success, selling nearly a million copies within just a few days.
It was quite simple, really.
The book was published in the nonfiction category.
The readers didn't think much of it at first, of course. Most didn't even realize, and the few who did thought it was just a mistake. However, once a certain post on an online forum pointed it out, the Internet promptly freaked out, and it became trending within an hour. Several hours later, the publishing company released a statement stating that it was not an error, and that the book was in fact the biography of two ghouls.
Suffice to say, it exploded in popularity.
「」
"The counter-propaganda is doing quite nicely," Kakashi remarked as his fingers blurred over the computer keyboard. "Public perception of ghouls is already being altered. The amount of sympathetic individuals is skyrocketing. Pro-ghoul organizations are rapidly gaining new members, and there are already several new organizations being created."
Eto smiled contentedly. "I did a good job, didn't I?"
"Absolutely," Kakashi confirmed with a nod. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're undoubtedly one of the best writers I've ever met." With Jiraiya still leading in number one, of course. "If you hadn't been the one to write the story, I doubt this would've been nearly as effective."
Eto chuckled. "My, you sure know how to flatter someone"
Kakashi shrugged. "What can I say? I speak only the truth."
Eto gave him a coy smile. "In which case, I think I deserve a reward, don't you?"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "The reward being...?"
Eto smirked. "Oh, I'm sure you know. But if not, let me make it more clear for you." She leaned forward and spoke in a slow, deliberate voice, her gaze focused intently on him, "Page twenty-eight."
Kakashi frowned. "I'm afraid I don't follow - "
Eto glanced down at his literature which was resting on the desk next to the laptop.
Something clicked.
"You've - you've read that?!" Kakashi blurted out in surprise.
"The prose was fairly lacking - understandable, given that it's a porn manga - but the plot and action were admittedly spicy as hell," Eto absently twirled a bandage around her finger. "So, what do you say? Want to reenact page twenty-eight with me?"
Kakashi chuckled. "Sure, why not?"
"Sweet." And with that, Eto began unraveling her bandages.
In the span of one point eight seconds, Kakashi's brain froze, crashed, and then rebooted.
"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up," he said, holding up a hand cautiously. "What are you doing?"
Eto glanced at him. "Reenacting page twenty-eight?"
Kakashi's eyes widened. "Wait, you were being serious?"
Eto blinked. "Well, yeah."
Kakashi stared at her for several seconds, legitimately not knowing how to respond. It was one thing to execute a seduction or counter-seduction, as was the case with Akira. He could easily slip into the practiced speech patterns, mannerisms, and mindset. There were protocols that he could follow.
But faced with an honest-to-Sage proposition?
He had no idea what to do.
Okay okay okay. It was fine. He just needed to calmly and politely decline her offer -
"Sorry, I only like guys dressed in green spandex."
Eto froze.
Kakashi froze.
"Oh," Eto finally said after a long, extremely uncomfortable silence. "I... see." She looked disappointed. "Well, fair enough then."
"Yes," Kakashi agreed. "I - I should leave. Need to... do something... with the CCG - "
He disappeared. Not even in a graceful shunshin, but instead diving straight through a wall with a hastily applied earth technique.
「」
Yoshimura looked positively amused as he served Kakashi his coffee. "Green spandex? Really? It's one thing to reject my daughter, but to do it with that excuse?" His voice was filled with mirth.
Kakashi has a desolate expression on his face. "In my defense, I panicked and said the first thing that came to my mind."
Seriously though. He wasn't attracted to guys. And he most assuredly definitely absolutely was not attracted to Gai.
... he could just hear Naruto laughing at him.
"Y'know, according to Freud," Touka began with a shit-eating grin. "If that was the first thing that came to your mind... well. It certainly says something about you, doesn't it?"
Kakashi groaned. "Oh gods, please no."
Touka positively sparkled at the despair in his voice. "Ah," she smiled dreamily. "Music to my ears."
「」
"Alright, I think the public perception has been shifted enough to begin the next phase of the plan," Kakashi announced. It had already been more than a week since the book was released, and change was sweeping over the entire world. "Phase one with the counter-propaganda had gone perfectly."
"There is a problem with that though," Shinohara spoke up with a frown. "As of this morning, more than thirty-four countries had already banned Glassy Sky."
"Oh yeah," Kakashi waved his hand. "Don't worry about that. I was the one who convinced them to impose the bans."
Shinohara blinked. "You... what? Why?"
Kakashi eye-smiled. "The easiest way to get someone to do something is to tell them that they can't do it. While no physical copies had been sold in those countries, the amount of pirated downloads off the Internet had increased by 2000% since Glassy Sky was banned. Plus, we get free media coverage."
"Huh," Shinohara rubbed his chin. "That's actually... really smart."
"Thank you, though it was fairly elementary," Kakashi said. "Anyway, any movement from the Washuu clan?" he asked Arima.
Arima shook his head. "No. They're too proud to try to escape. They're probably waiting for you to attack, hoping to kill you in a trap."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow in amusement. "They still think that would work?"
Arima shrugged. "Centuries of inbreeding tend to do that to a bloodline."
Amon blinked. "What?"
Kakashi coughed. "Moving on," because he did not want to start thinking about the specifics of the Elemental Nations clan traditions, "It's finally time to take down the Washuu clan."
Everyone grew serious at that.
"What do you need us to do?" Arima asked softly.
Kakashi tilted his head, seemingly contemplating something.
"Say," he said thoughtfully. "Which one of you has the steadiest hands?"
The Investigators shared confused glances.
「」
"You can't be serious"
Kakashi turned to Amon. "Maa, what do you mean?"
"Let me get this straight. You want me to livestream you attacking the CCG Headquarters and revealing that the Washuu clan are ghouls?" Amon asked incredulously.
"Of course!" Kakashi responded airily. "It's brilliant, don't you think?"
Indeed, Amon was currently holding a camera in his hands - with modifications to allow it to livestream directly - and Kakashi had a wearable microphone attached to his collar.
"Brilliant?" Amon echoed disbelievingly. "What's even the point of this? This is literally just for your inflated ego."
"Amon!" Kakashi cried as he reared back, seemingly appalled. "How dare you? I'll have you know that this is actually vital for the plan."
"How?" Amon challenged.
"Isn't it obvious?" Kakashi shrugged. "The public wouldn't be likely to believe us if we released a statement declaring that the Washuu clan were ghouls. Similarly, they also wouldn't believe us if we released video evidence; after, video footage could easily be edited. The only way to guarantee that the public would believe us without a doubt is if we livestreamed everything in real time."
Amon opened his mouth but then paused. "I... wait."
Kakashi eye-smiled. "That's what I thought. It's all calculated, I assure you."
"You shouldn't doubt Kakashi," Eto said, appearing out of nowhere. "Have some faith in him, little Investigator."
"Eto," Kakashi said, his expression going deceptively blank. "You're here."
"I am," Eto smiled. "You've been avoiding me."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi said, resolutely not meeting her gaze. "Anyway, is everything set up?" he asked one of the technicians who was fiddling with a device.
"Yes, my Lord!" he responded.
"Excellent," Kakashi smiled. "Let's go."
「」
They went to the CCG Headquarters where all the executives were located. Only Kakashi, the Investigators, and Eto had gone; the technicians had stayed behind. They had been reluctant at first until Kakashi assigned them the task of moderating the stream chat, at which point they were shocked speechless by the amount of faith he had in them to wield such great power on his behalf.
Their words, not his.
"We're live in one minute," Shinohara announced. "Get ready, everyone."
For a moment, Kakashi was silent as he reflected on everything that had occurred so far.
He had only been in this world for about three weeks, but in those three weeks he had disrupted the social order of an entire nation and wreaked untold amounts of chaos and havoc.
All for the purpose of bringing peace, of course. And definitely not because he had wanted to relax and enjoy himself after the stressful clusterfuck that was the Fourth Great Shinobi World.
And now, it was finally time for him to execute the final phase of the plan.
Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. This would be fun.
"This is going to turn out terribly," Amon said hopelessly.
"Maa, don't worry," Kakashi grinned. "I watched a few streamers last night to prepare. It's going to be fine."
Akira's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh god, which streamers?!"
Kakashi smiled cryptically as he absently admired the sheer efficiency of the communications technology in this world.
Speaking of which, the CCG technicians and computer scientists had been able to hack into the government's telecommunications department and issue an emergency broadcast to every electronic device that was hooked up to the Internet. Phones, computers, televisions, and so on. The government typically used this technology to warn the public of emergencies such as environmental disasters, but the CCG technicians were able to work their computer magic to create an entire livestream page.
Of course, hacking into the telecommunications department was a lot easier than it sounded, considering how many of the technicians and computer scientists had been the ones to code the software in the first place and as such knew where all the backdoor entrances were. Oh, and Kakashi had handed them the admin passwords as well.
As a result, nearly every nonessential phone, laptop, and television would display the livestream.
Oh, and it even had a chat function. The technicians were especially insistent on including that.
"Five, four, three, two, one," Shinohara counted down. "We're live."
Showtime.
Kakashi looked into the camera and eye-smiled. "SUP SUP!" he greeted exuberantly with a two-fingered salute.
Akira slowly placed her head in her hands.
"Welcome to my first livestream! For those who don't know, my name is Kakashi. I'm a ghoul dedicated to bringing peace to the human-ghoul conflict. For far too long, humanity and ghouls have been battling each other for no reason whatsoever."
"But don't ghouls eat humans?" Shinohara asked, stepping into the camera's line of view. "It seems perfectly reasonable for humans and ghouls to be mortal enemies if humans are just the ghouls' prey, correct?"
"That's a phenomenal question, Special Class Investigator Shinohara," Kakashi responded. A question that was obviously not rehearsed or anything. "Before I can answer that, there is something you need to know. For you see, the Commission of Counter Ghoul, the CCG, has been hiding a dark truth from the entire world for a long time."
"And that is?" Shinohara feigned confusion.
"Allow me to show you," Kakashi turned around and gestured at the CCG Headquarters. "As you can see, I'm standing outside the CCG's main headquarters located in Japan." He eye-smiled. "Let's make our way inside, shall we?"
「」
Kakashi confidently strolled into the building, his hands in his pockets.
"Yo-!"
He immediately dropped to his knee and slammed his hands down onto the ground. A massive mud wall adorned with dogs rose, blocking the hail of bullets from hitting them.
"Maa, now that's just rude," Kakashi called from behind the wall before he blurred. Amon barely had time to stand up and aim the camera before all the CCG agents hit the ground, unconscious.
"Y'know, you'd think that they would've learned by now that bullets don't work," Kakashi sighed as he strode down the hallway. Several Investigators tried to stop him, but it was clear their attempts were half-hearted at best. Probably because most of them were gaping at Arima, who was walking behind Kakashi.
"I mean, they're CCG agents," Eto shrugged. "Incompetency is their middle name."
"Oi," Amon growled.
"Eto, let's save our antagonizing for the Washuu clan," Kakashi said mildly.
Eto laughed lightly. "Very well."
They made their way to the Tsuneyoshi Washuu's office. There were multiple traps set up for them including pressure plate traps, spikes that shot out of the wall, sarin nerve gas, and so on.
Kakashi systematically dismantled each and every one of them without taking a scratch, making liberal use of shadow clones. Bless the Nidaime, truly.
Finally, they stopped in front of Tsuneyoshi Washuu's office.
Or rather, the Investigators plus Eto stopped. Kakashi didn't even slow down. With his hands still in his pockets, the doors slammed open from an invisible force - courtesies of some sealless wind manipulation.
"Tsuneyoshi!" Kakashi called cheerfully. "How have you been?"
Tsuneyoshi had been sitting behind his desk waiting for Kakashi. "Terrible," he answered bluntly. "But I'm sure you already knew that."
Kakashi chuckled. "I guessed as much. So, are you going to surrender peacefully?"
Tsuneyoshi's response came in the form of three men clad in dark clothing and masks dropping down from the ceiling.
"V agents," Arima identified from behind Kakashi. "Careful."
"Arima, you've betrayed us?" Tsuneyoshi asked, a disapproving frown on his face.
Arima leveled an even gaze at him. "I desire peace," he intoned calmly. "You don't. It's nothing personal."
"Well, you chose the wrong side," the V agent in front - their leader - growled. With that, the three agents exploded into action, leaping toward Kakashi.
It took Kakashi four seconds to take them down in a flawless performance. He would've dragged it out, but he wanted to get to the main event fast.
Tsuneyoshi didn't seem surprised that the V agents were defeated that easily. "Kaiko," he sighed. "I told you it wouldn't work."
"Had to try," the leader grunted out from the ground, his voice pained.
Tsuneyoshi leaned forward and steepled his fingers. "I've planted multiple bombs around Tokyo," he informed Kakashi coldly. "If you lay even a single finger on me, then they will be detonated. Are you willing to have all those human lives on your conscience?"
Kakashi was silent for a moment.
Then, he smirked. "Bombs, you say? You mean the bomb located underneath in a bag sitting on the bench in Crystal Park? Or perhaps the bomb hidden inside the daycare center over in Akifushiro? Or maybe you were talking about the bomb inside a conference room in the Central Tokyo Hospital? I can go on if you want me to."
Tsuneyoshi's eyes widened. "How did you - "
"Bitch, please," Kakashi waved his hand dismissively. "I can count the number of people better at espionage than me on one hand. Or did you genuinely think that I wasn't keeping tabs on your every move?"
Seriously. Shadow clones were awesome.
"I didn't even plant the bomb! I had V agents plant the bombs - "
"And I was keeping track of the V agents as well," Kakashi shrugged. "It's that simple. I also had a former member help me out. Kuzen sends his regards, by the way," he said to the V agent on the floor.
The V agent growled. "Kuzen, that motherfucking piece of - " His mouth was forcibly slammed shut by a sudden gust of wind.
"Language," Kakashi chided. "He's too good at brewing coffee for you to insult him. Anyway, Tsuneyoshi, you're out of options. Your bombs are already being defused as we speak, with signal jammers to ensure that you can't activate them forcefully. It's over."
Tsuneyoshi didn't respond, instead glaring hatefully at Kakashi.
"Come on, now," Kakashi coaxed. "You know what I want you to do - "
He was cut off when Eto skipped across, grabbed Tsuneyoshi's head before he could react, and slammed it repeatedly into his desk with tremendous force.
"Yes!" Suzuya cheered happily as he too joined in on the fun.
Kakashi and the others watched with disturbed expressions - sans Mado, who was grinning madly - as Eto and Suzuya mercilessly beat the living shit out of Tsuneyoshi. At some point, Tsuneyoshi fell out of his chair and curled into the fetal position on the ground, whimpering in pain as Suzuya played jackhammer with his kidneys.
"Should we... stop them?" Amon asked hesitantly.
"He planted bombs in a daycare center and a hospital," Shinohara emphasized. "I'd say that this is well-deserved."
"Fair."
Finally, Eto and Suzuya stopped, both of them with matching savage grins on their faces.
"You know, for a ghoul, you're pretty cool!" Suzuya said to Eto.
Eto chuckled. "Thank you, I appreciate it."
Kakashi walked forward and grabbed Tsuneyoshi's collar, pulling him up and angling his head to face the camera.
"Now then," Kakashi said cheerfully. "Resuming our conversation, Special Agent Shinohara... The dark truth the CCG has been hiding from everyone is that the Washuu clan - the founding members of the CCG - are ghouls."
And he jolted a pressure point in the back of Tsuneyoshi's neck that forced his eyelids to flutter open, revealing the black-and-red of a ghoul's kakugan, which had been brought out by the beating Eto and Suzuya had given him.
"That's right," Kakashi said. "The chairman of the CCG, Tsuneyoshi Washuu, is a ghoul. Same with every other member of the Washuu clan." He dropped Tsuneyoshi and turned back to the camera. "So I'm sure you're wondering: why would a clan of ghouls create an organization dedicated to hunting down ghouls?"
He smiled. "It's simple, really. Other ghouls, if allowed to roam free, could harm and even kill them. In order to protect themselves, they created an organization that hunted down and killed ghouls mercilessly. It's an ingenious strategy: the ghouls would be too busy fighting the humans and the humans would be too busy hunting down the ghouls, so neither side would focus on the Washuu clan."
"I see," Shinohara rubbed his chin. "And I presume everything about ghouls not possessing emotions and being heartless monsters are all false?"
"Of course," Kakashi nodded. "It's all propaganda spread by the CCG - or rather, the Washuu clan - to keep ghouls and humans apart and perpetuate the conflict. The truth is, ghouls are just like humans. They feel emotions just like humans. They hope and dream just like humans."
He reached into his pouch and brought out Glassy Sky. "I'm sure you've all read this book, or at least heard of it by now. Eto and I - Eto is Sen Takatsuki, by the way - personally interviewed the ghouls in this book. Everything is true. They wish to lead peaceful lives where they don't have to harm anyone. They are undoubtedly people. Just like countless other ghouls out there."
Eto nodded. "Once you're able to look past the CCG's propaganda and misinformation, the only real difference between humans and ghouls is the fact that we can only eat human flesh. And that can easily be mitigated by people donating their bodies after they die, or synthetic flesh, or human cloning."
"The only reason such methods have never been attempted before," Kakashi continued, "is because they would lead to peace - which the Washuu clan does not want. They wish to maintain the status quo of needless conflict so they would remain in power. However - "
And here his posture shifted to radiate power and authority, the aura of an S-class shinobi and future Hokage.
"I am telling you all right now," Kakashi said, his expression completely serious. "Peace is possible. There exists a world where humans and ghouls don't need to fight, a world of peaceful coexistence. The only question is... are you all willing to try to grasp it?"
He let the question linger in the air for a moment before shrugging. "Well, I'll let you all think on it. My job here is done. Oh, and one last thing."
The Investigators suddenly got a foreboding feeling when Kakashi looked at them with a glint in his eyes.
"I'd just like to take a moment to thank Shinohara, Mado, Suzuya, Amon, Akira, and Arima, who helped me on this journey to attain peace," Kakashi eye-smiled. "We are proof that humans and ghouls can work together peacefully. I'm honored to call them my friends."
Shinohara's jaw tightened and Mado's smile became strained.
"Friend?" Amon growled. "I'd rather throw myself off a cliff than be your friend."
"Amon, you just earned yourself a field promotion," Kakashi announced cheerfully before turning back to the camera. "I'd like to take this time to announce one more thing." He gestured at the Investigators. "These are my Holy Priests, my cherished disciples." They twitched, Eto watching on with amusement in her eyes.
A shadow clone popped into existence and took the camera away from Amon, allowing Kakashi to pull him to his side. "And this is my High Priest Amon Koutarou, my most trusted man!"
"Oh for FUCK'S SAKE - "
Kakashi smiled.
The Washuu clan goes down without too much trouble. Arima was always the final boss, anyway - Arima ftw lol. Now that the public is aware of the truth, peace is finally about to arrive.
Thank you all for reading, and please review :)
euphoric
