I want to give a special thanks to SilverontheRose for proofreading this chapter! I am still looking for a Beta, so please if you are willing to look over just one chapter I would really appreciate it.
Bella's POV
I stood in the hot, bright Phoenix sun facing the familiar building that was once my High School. The bell rung and all the students file in. I start to move with them until the sound of my name reaches my ears. From behind me came the voice, like a whisper on the wind, and I jerked around. As I moved the scenery changed, shifting from the red Arizona rocks to the grey, misty cliffs of La Push. I stared out at the crashing waves and heard my name, again from behind me. I spun around and spanning ahead of me was the dry desert dirt road I'd traveled last spring break. Again, I heard my name, but louder, and I turned to the mossy, green Fork's forest. I kept hearing my name louder and louder, and each time I turned the image changed. I could not find the caller, and as I spun round and round, the scenery began blurring together into streaks of colors. My name grew louder and louder like a beating drum until it suddenly ceased. I stopped with it, and there standing in the enchanting meadow I use to visit was Edward.
All the life around us was silent and unmoving, and three things seemed to happen simultaneously. Edward's lips moved in the formation of my name, but the soft whisper again came from behind me, and his form began fading. In a desperate effort, I lunged towards him as all of his body disappeared into thin air.
With a gasp, my eyes flew open to my bedroom ceiling. I breathed hard as I got up to open my window for fresh air. It was still locked tight as I had left it last night. The cool air nipped at my exposed, sweaty skin, and when I looked down, there sat two tulips on my window sill. One red and one white, freshly cut. It was spring in Forks but there was no way the wind had blown them up here.
My alarm clock said 5:02am. The last time I looked at it, it was 1:48am, at least I got some sleep. I couldn't keep my thoughts from running and wanted to call Jacob for more information. I'd have to wait till Charlie was gone, he'll be getting up soon enough.
Hopefully, Jacob would pick up. It was so rare to hear or see him since he joined the pack. He almost never left the reservation, and when I drove down there, I'd be lucky to see him for a few minutes. He knew about my pain and tried his best to maintain our friendship once I found out about his transformation. Yet, every weekend and after school invitation was met with apologies as he either had to run off to obligations or fall asleep after just returning from them. I felt horrible for taking up what little time he had. There was a sense of relief when I told him I made new friends and stopped visiting as often. He still cared though.
During spring break, I attempted to hang out with him but knew I would most likely be walking the beach alone. As it turned out, we did have some quality time together, but only after he found me on the beach with a bottle of vodka. He held my hair as a puked, carried me when I stumbled and yell at me for a good few hours about my bad choices. He even threatened to tell Charlie if he caught me drinking again. It goes without saying, he's never met my other friends.
Now, he calls about once every other week and will try to invite me to the occasional bonfire. As hard as it is for me to get a hold of him, if he wanted to talk to me he'd make it happen. Within a minute of Charlie's departure, I was on the phone with Jacob.
"Bella?!" He gruffed, sounding like I had woken him up.
"Yeah, it's me. I'm returning your call," I responded, thinking it's probably better for him to bring up the reason for calling instead of going off on my crazy ideas, "What's up?"
There was silence. Jacob spoke questioningly, "Do you . . . not know?"
My heart began racing. Did this have to do with what I thought? "Know what?" I played dumb.
". . . About the Cullens," he stated with an angry edge in his voice, like he might have had his teeth clenched.
A surreal feeling passed over me as he said their name. Like someone had pulled a warm blanket off me, and the piercing chill crept over. What I had seen was real, I'm not crazy. "They're back in town," I declared.
"Yeah," he sounded surprised and took off. "We've been smelling them around but don't know why they are here," he sounded upset and spoke quickly. "Have they made contact with you? It's not safe for you, come down to La Push the pack will protect you."
The fact the pack didn't know why they were here was puzzling. What other reason would they have to come back, I meant nothing to them. Maybe they finally came to their senses and wanted the scholarship money back after all?
"Jacob, I saw them but haven't really had any contact with them. I don't know why they're here either." There was silence again, "I don't need to come down, they won't hurt m-"
"Bella they are blood sucking monsters!" He interjected, "Don't say they won't hurt you when you know full well that they already have!" His words stung but he continued to fume, "Even if I did believe they wouldn't physically hurt you, they'll definitely mess with your head! Did you forget seven months ago when Sam found you on the forest floor. Or when . . ."
I heard no more; the memory consumed me and I hunched over clutching my torso. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed into the receiver. Jacob's words caused a flood of pain to wash over me. My eyes pricked with tears and I ground my teeth together.
There was heavy breathing on the phone but otherwise silence. "I'm sorry," he repented, "Of course you remember . . . I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm okay," I gasped, still trying to pull myself together. My voice was rough, and you could hear I was holding back tears, "I'll talk to you later."
"Sure, call me later," I briefly heard before hanging up.
I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. He didn't need to bring up the past like that. The pain of that day and every day that followed still ripped me apart; I prayed to forget what I was cursed to remember.
My body steadied as I contemplated Jacob's insight. The pack has been smelling them. That means I'm not crazy. What I saw and what I heard was real. The Cullens are back.
"The Cullens are back," as I said it aloud the truth hit me like a brick wall.
A tickling feeling spread down my spine and through my nerves. Every cell in my body ignited and I felt light like I was floating on a cloud. My eyes were wide open taking in bright colors, eyebrows raised in awe and I think I was even smiling. I felt alive, almost like I had taken ecstasy. The Cullens are back.
His note said I would see him at school on Monday. That's today! Before I knew it I was in my truck and on the way. But, reality was faster and caught up to me before I made it halfway. I slammed on the breaks and pulled off to the side in horror.
What am I thinking! He is not here for me. I can't be one of those stupid ex-girlfriends who runs into his arms. Again, his words from the forest resounded in my head. I remembered all the lonely, sorrowful pain of the last eight months, the night terrors and the isolation from everyone around me. Jacob is right, I can't forget how I've been affected by him and his leaving. Everything has changed. I can never be that person again. A stupid girl believing in everlasting, unconditional love. He didn't love me then and he could never love me now.
The thick, ice wall around my heart, that melted for a brief minute, hardened again. The energy that electrified me moments ago vanished and my face sunk back into the numb, disengaged, expression my classmates have known all semester.
I got back on the road and drove to school, preparing my heart the whole way. So what if they're back. It doesn't mean anything. Don't get your hopes up. Don't expect anything. They lived here before I did. Maybe I'll be an ignored human classmate like everyone else was before I got here. He doesn't love me. He left me. He doesn't want me.
I was unaware of my surroundings as my internal monologue played on. But when I glanced a shiny, silver Volvo in my peripheral, my footing slipped, and my truck lurched forward and then immediately braked. I was now acutely aware of my surroundings and the fact I was being watched. I cautiously parked and sat in the driver's seat taking deep breaths.
You got this, I told myself. Just another day at school. You'll be okay, there is an emergency joint waiting for you at home. No big deal.
Naturally, when I finally stepped out of my truck, my eyes immediately locked with Edwards. He leaned against his Volvo, two rows away from me, Alice to his right. His arms were folded, eyebrows raised and jaw loose. He wore dark jeans and a light blue button up. His bronze hair messily lay as if his hands had nervously run through it. He stared at me with a look of wonderment, uncertainty, and fear. A look of yearning that begged me to move forward. Not the annoyed, angry, indifferent look I was expecting.
I felt like a deer in the headlights and was unconscious of the expression on my face. At the very least I kept my mouth shut and withstood gaping at his beautiful form. He was truly here. If I hadn't believed it yet, I couldn't deny it now. The Cullens are back.
The world seemed to stop as I stood paralyzed staring at him. His lips curled into the warm smile I'd always loved. I noticed my heartbeat quicken and euphoric warmth rush over me, I wanted to run to him. To hold and kiss him like I use to.
With fear, I turned away towards the school. I would not be stupid this time. Loving someone makes you vulnerable and I cannot endure the heartbreak again. I would not let myself believe his breathtaking smile was caused by me. He did not want me. Yet, I knew from experience, if the molten gold of his eyes gazed into mine I would melt instantly with no chance of escape. I need to protect myself.
I would have to avoid his eye as much as everyone else's. The student body had a new topic of gossip and whispered and stared as I passed by. Glancing back and forth between me and the two beautiful Cullens across the lot. I kept my head down but couldn't drowned out the voices. "What are they doing back here?" "Well I heard . . ." "Did they come to see Bella? She doesn't look happy." "I don't know, I think . . ." "He seems sad." "I bet she . . ." ". . . maybe he begged. . ." ". . .got another girlfriend in LA . . ." "What, no way!?"
The rumors buzzed on.
For those who don't know, Red tulips represent true love and white tulips represent worthiness and forgiveness.
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