A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope
"I don't wanna waste the weekend
If you don't love me, pretend."
XI. Stregoni
Abby felt like she couldn't breathe when Edward pulled into a well lit part of town around several crowds. Though she felt completely safe in Edward's company, she couldn't get the hands, the tongue out of her mind. He touched her in a place she'd never want to be touched by someone she didn't give consent to. She shuddered at the feeling of his repulsive wet tongue on her ear, desperate to give herself some kind of comfort. She tried to hold in her sobs but couldn't help to release a single cry, provoking Edward to snap his head toward his sole reason of living.
If he didn't make it in time, if he had been merely a half hour late, he would've lost Abigail. And he would've blamed himself. Edward was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to be with her every step, to save her whenever she needed him. And he failed her.
He grabbed the bottle of water he kept in his car for Abby on his drivers side door and yanked the cap off of it. He held the water bottle in front of her and frowned when her shaky hand grabbed the beverage. He watched in silence as she trembled, drinking from the water bottle as though it was her last drink. She held the bottle to her chest when she was done and sniffled loudly, and willed herself to stop crying.
"How-" she started to say but her throat was clogged with unwarranted mucus due to her crying so harshly. She took another sip of her water, clearing her throat before asking in a quiet voice, "How did you know where I was?"
Edward closed his eyes, knowing where the questions were going to lead to, knowing where the two of them would wind up by the end of the night. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten carried away with attempting to slaughter the two men in front of Abby but he couldn't help it. The rage, the animosity he had felt when he read the thoughts of those vile beings about Abby drove him to the brink of insanity and all he saw was red.
He opened his eyes to see Abby staring at him intently, waiting for an answer. Her red-rimmed eyes still held fear in them, and he would've done anything to erase any feeling of terror in her. And her eyes, her brown eyes that still held a deep sparkle, that still looked like the world shone within even after what she'd been through, held him captive the moment they stared back at him when he first met her.
Staring out of his window shield, he said monotonously, "I should get you something to eat."
Abby rapidly shook her head and held her stomach, fearing the scent of food would cause her to heave. "I can't eat right now," she replied. Before he had a chance to counter her, she questioned with a cocked eyebrow, "Were...were you...following me?"
He scoffed, still refusing to meet her eyes, "No, no I'd never disrespect your privacy. Though if I did, I probably would've gotten to you faster."
She reached over the armrest and gently wrapped her hand around his icy, stone like one. He clenched his jaw and slightly shifted his head to see their hands resting on his lap. He held her hand tighter, letting out the softest breath of solace knowing she was alive, knowing she was here.
"You saved my life, Edward," she whispered, using her thumb to tenderly rub over his own smooth finger. "But what I saw-" she inhaled a deep breath remembering Edward's almost invisible movements, his ridiculous strength...his eyes, "-how did you know where to find me?"
"Alice," he admitted in the most faint tone she'd ever heard him use. He didn't look at her as he explained, "Alice saw you in trouble and as I got close enough, their...thoughts were quite loud." Edward had practically hissed out the last sentence, his upper lip curling in fury.
Alice saw? Abby wondered. Edward could read thoughts? Abby nearly wanted to refute his words, to tell him it was impossible to see the future or to read someone's thoughts. But Edward had proven to her today that the impossible was very much possible. She chose to remain calm, she chose to hear him out because he deserved to explain himself. He deserved to because he had saved her life, over and over again.
She nodded, letting go of his hand though she thought she had felt his hold reluctant to release. But she couldn't continue to hold on - the damage to the both of them was done. Abby then wondered, a deep blush instantly forming across her cheeks, "So, you could read my thoughts?" She was intensely mortified.
His hand felt cold, empty without hers and it was then he realized how human he had felt with her. Edward had nearly felt warm when she had her hands on him, but he could truly feel the warmth leave his undead body the further the conversation went.
He shook his head, clenching his hand into a fist on his knee and answered softly, "No, yours is the only mind I can't seem to breach."
His silken voice was unreadable as was his expression and Abby wondered if he had come to the realization that she now knows what he is. He had to have, she believed. He wouldn't look at her and she missed his eyes. She wanted to see them all the time - black or gold, they made her heart beat faster than the flapping wings of a hummingbird.
"Are you going to go into shock?" He suddenly asked, finally swiveling his head to look at her concernedly.
Taken aback, she felt a ghost of a smile appear on her lips when she saw his stunning golden butterscotch eyes filled with sorrow for her. She shook her head twice, whispering out a, "I don't think so."
"Are you sure?" His brows furrowing with worry.
"You make me feel safe."
His faint smile was mocking, and his eyes were tight, "You shouldn't."
And maybe she shouldn't have. But tonight was a clear instance of him protecting her - always. It was sincerely the only reason she wasn't running out of his car screaming at the top of her lungs that he was a vampire because she knew in her heart that he'd never let a single thing hurt her physically, not even himself. Truly the only thing that could really, genuinely hurt her was him. She was human, a measly human that was going to perish in a few decades and he'd go on living in a world where she didn't exist. He didn't deserve someone who had an expiration date, and she couldn't be with someone who lacked a human forever.
Being with him was demanding to be hurt.
She gulped before asking her next question as nicely as possible since she wanted to know if his family actually sustained themselves on animals, "Was there ever a time where I had to believe you made me...unsafe?"
Edward raised an eyebrow at her bizarre questioning, and couldn't help but wonder, "How much do you know, Abby?"
"Only the myths...which I guess aren't myths," she whispered, recalling the story Leah had told her, recalling the many bonfire stories about the 'Cold One's' from when she was younger. "Have you ever wanted to harm me?"
"Never," he spit out rapidly, like he was disgusted with the very thought of hurting her. She was right to believe he'd never hurt her. He spoke the next words in a rush, "I could never hurt you, Abby. Not you."
"I know," she whispered, looking down at her hands that were folded on her lap.
She didn't interrogate him further on the topic because she figured if she'd known why he'd never hurt her, she'd fall into him all over again. Abby was making the hasty decision of following her brain over her heart, but in the hidden corner of her thoughts she felt as though she was making the biggest mistake of her life.
"I should get you home," he suddenly said, quickly glancing at the time on the dashboard.
Abby didn't argue but suddenly remembered her car, "My car-"
"I'll have Alice or Emmett drive it back." She was going to ask him how they would even manage to do that but he explained, "Don't worry," he said without hesitation, "it'll be in your driveway by tonight."
She nodded, grateful for the hourlong drive back into Forks, grateful to share this space with him for now. Just for now. He put the car in drive and pulled out into the traffic without a glance at his rear, barely paying attention to the road as if driving was the easiest thing in the world for him.
"What myths?" Edward abruptly asked pulling into the freeway, silently knowing what stories she was referring to but blindly hoped they were myths about Dracula instead.
She released a large breath, replying with the truth since he had been truthful all night long, "My best friend's father is an elder of the Quileute tribe down at the Reservation. We grew up with stories during bonfires every other weekend - shapeshifters, sacrifices...Cold One's." Abby watched his white slender fingers tighten convulsively on the steering wheel. "How old are you?" She asked, cautiously.
"Eighteen," his voice was hard and he stared intently down the freeway, driving over eighty miles per hour.
She gulped and looked at his profile before continuing, "...How long have you been eighteen?"
His lips twitched and he sighed, answering, "Awhile."
Edward hadn't lied to her, actually she was sure he had never really lied to her - not directly anyways. He had his secrets and she was sure he would've hid her from his dangerous life as much as he could, just to protect her. It seemed to her that her protection was all that mattered to him.
"So, you can read minds and Alice can see the future?" Abby wondered, thinking back to earlier in the conversation.
"In a way, yes."
"How does it work?" Abby was genuinely intrigued by this; she was sure their abilities constituted as a superpower.
Edward held back a smile of his own when he saw her smile at him like he was her favorite person in the world, and replied, "Alice can see when a person makes a specific decision. She sees flashes of future possibilities coming from the choices a person makes - a new choice means a different future."
"So, she saw me choose to walk down one road rather than the other?" Abby asked thinking of how a slight decision on her part could've changed everything of tonight's outcome.
"Earlier today she saw you walking down the same road as you did in the morning and she saw the trouble of tonight, and that's when I left and came to you."
Abby nodded at his explanation, completely fascinated by Alice's capability to see into the future but suddenly felt the guilt creep up on her, "I shouldn't have asked about Alice. I'm sorry; it's her secret. She should be the one to tell me if she wants to."
She didn't expect him to laugh, and he said with a grin on his face, "Abby, the last thing she'd care about is you knowing about her freaky psychic ability."
"Hey," she reprimanded him, "she didn't choose to see the future...did she?" She raised an eyebrow.
"No," he shook his head, "we don't get to choose these abilities when we -". He cut himself off and she had a hint of a feeling of where he was going with that sentence.
"And how about you?" Abby changed the subject rapidly. "You can read everyone's thoughts but mine?"
"I can't hear anyone, anywhere." He started, "The more familiar someone's...'voice' is, the easier it is to hear their thoughts. When I'm in a crowd, school for example, it's like a hum - a bunch of voices muddled in the background."
"That seems annoying," Abby quirked her lip, wondering the disastrous thoughts he might've picked up from Jessica or Angela.
"I've learned to tune it out, most of the time. But when I hear your name in someone else's mind all I want to do is listen." Edward said, in a gentle voice.
She fidgeted in her seat at his response before clearing her throat and asking, "So, the sun thing? You only come out when it's not sunny, is it because you burn?"
He laughed, "Myth,"
"Hm, afraid of crosses?"
"Myth,"
"Sleep in a coffin like Nosferatu?"
"Myth," he replied, with a slight smirk, "actually, we don't sleep."
"At all?" Her jaw dropped.
"Never," his voice was nearly inaudible.
"You must have a lot of time to kill," Abby stated, picking at her fingernails.
His head was facing back on the road, once again refusing to meet her eyes, and softly said, "The nights are shorter when I look forward to see you in the morning. I need not to dream knowing reality is far better, Abby."
She was trying to cling to logic; she was trying to cling to common sense. He was a being that had to live on blood and evaded old age completely. She was human, surviving on pizza's, and ice cream, and the occasional sip of beer with her brother. A relationship could only prove to be futile - no matter how much she craved him. Abby looked out her window of the blurring dark trees and willed herself not to cry due to her already tortured heart.
Edward smoothly pulled into the front of her house and put the car in park. The rest of the drive had been in silence - neither continuing in fear of ending something too soon. But Abby's questions were answered, and Edward knew in his gut that forever was a possibility that was completely unimaginable.
"Thank you," she promptly whispered, looking out her window to her unlit house signifying that Jay wasn't home, "for saving me. I'll be grateful for the rest of my life. And I won't tell anyone - ever."
"I know," Edward's voice was bleak.
"The legends said that you didn't...hunt people." Abby grimaced at the thought of the Cullen's hurting humans when they seem to practice the utmost self control. "They said you weren't dangerous because you hunted animals."
"The Quileute's have quite the memory," Edward whispered.
"But even if," she gulped harshly, feeling the unwanted tears weld up in her eyes, "even if you aren't dangerous...we don't have...we can't. I wish we could've but how can we?"
"I know," he repeated, staring straight ahead at the dark road while he felt his undead heart implode.
Her lips trembled as she whispered out the last words she may ever speak to him, "I'm sorry, Edward."
"As am I, Abigail."
A/N: Hell YEAH I updated fast! I had this chapter written already. Also, LOVE the reviews lol - guys enjoy the angst! I know, I'm the worst but I'm such a sucker for angst!
How is a human supposed to react to the love of her life being an un-aging vampire? One can never know. So, Abby's confused, scared, everywhere at once and somehow stuck in love with him. She figured if he was a God or superhero then it'd be easier to understand him. But a vampire? Abby needs time to process this. And in her mind, she's saving both of them from sure heartbreak.
I understand your comments and concerns, and the next chapter deals with Abby's mind being all over the place. I'm almost done writing it now, so it should be up soon! I also don't want to answer too many guest reviews without giving away the plot, ya know? I promise, you guys will thoroughly enjoy this story.
Also, yes I made him 18, fight me Stephanie Meyer. I'm jk, thank you Stephanie Meyer for creating this guilty pleasure of a saga.
Loveee all your reviews and comments and follows/favorites! Continue throwing those my way *kisses*
