Hold On by Chord Overstreet
"I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you."
XIV. Lights
Jay had noticed his sisters forlorn looks. Well, he's always noticed her sadness ever since their parents had passed but it seems like it had gotten worse. She was doing a good job of hiding herself but he knew: there was something wrong. He couldn't put a finger on it but there was something missing in her; a spark within her that seemed to have vanished without a second thought. It was strange because the first few months of school, Abby seemed happy. It was as though she was on the right track of being his little sister again.
But something had changed...something had hurt her once again. He just couldn't understand what.
"Hey, where are you going?" Jay asked as he watched his sister put on her worn out rain boots.
"Gonna' go visit mom and dad, want to come with?" Abby offered, taking her rain coat off the wooden coat rack by the front door.
"Nah," Jay shook his head and took a swig of his almost warm beer, "Charlie and Billy want to come with next time I go. You'll be okay going alone?"
Abby nodded, she liked going alone sometimes. She pointed to her keys on the dining room table, silently motioning him to toss them to her. He did, and she caught them in her palm then placed them in her back pocket along with her cellphone.
"Hey doofus,"
His little sister turned around and raised an unhumorous eyebrow at him, "There's still leftovers in the fridge, Sir Fatty McLarge."
Jay laughed aloud at the insult, and he shook his head at her before placing his beer down on the table. He walked over to her with his hands dipped into his front pockets. He was uncomfortable; being an annoying brother was easy but trying to be a person that Abby could come to when she needed him was hard.
It was quite sad that he didn't already know that Abby looked to him everyday because just her brothers very presence healed her explicitly.
"Be happy, Abs, that's all I want for you. You know that, right?"
Abby slowly nodded, not expecting that to come out of her brothers mouth. She softly replied, "I know, Jay. I want that for you, too."
He nodded, sending her a gentle smile, "So, hold onto whatever makes you happy, alright? I'm not blind. Something's been bothering you," Abby went to say something but he cut her off instantly, "and you don't have to tell me what. But mom and dad would've told you that being happy is the only thing that matters. So be it."
Abby's mother loved red roses; her father bought a bouquet of them for her for every important date in their lives - anniversaries, birthdays, Valentines Day. And Abby soon started to love the flower as well, even if it was the most loved and overplayed flower in the world. There was just something so beautiful and delicate about a rose.
Forks Cemetery was quite small, less than an acre of land. But a cemetery was a cemetery, and it was still eerie to wander about it. She parked her car off the main road leading to the rusted black gates of the cemetery and walked the short path to her parents' relatively new gravestone.
Abby's parents had a large single rectangular granite grave marker - the both of them resting next to each other. Their marker had 'Samuel and Anna Davis, Loving Parents Gone Too Soon' etched in white ink under their birthdays and death days. She bent down to their marker, removing the few leaves that littered the granite that Jay spent a pretty penny on. He spared no expense when it came to their funeral, said it was the last thing he could ever do for them and he wanted to do it right. And he did.
He was a rock for Abby; she knew he didn't know it but being without Jay was impossible. He was right. Their parents would tell them to chase happiness because it's the only thing in life worth chasing.
Then, there was Edward. She was sure she couldn't have made it through the first few months of school without him. He got inside of her mind, without even trying, and managed to make her believe in the world again. He did something that she knew she couldn't have done on her own. She was so grateful for him, and she missed him so, so much.
And he had made her so intensely happy that it almost felt like a dream.
"Hi, guys," she whispered to them, placing her bouquet of roses on top of their grave marker. "So, it's officially December. Thanksgiving came and went, and guess what mom? I think I nailed your mac and cheese...unless Charlie was pulling my leg." But that doesn't seem like Charlie, she heard her mother's soft voice reply in her head. Abby tenderly smiled, sniffling slightly and holding her coat tighter to her when she felt a chill breeze ruffle her hair, "We had a toast to you two; we knew even though you guys weren't there, you'd kill us if we didn't live it up." She laughed softly, tearing welling up in her eyes.
Abby then cleared her throat, wiping away at the moisture that dripped down her cheek, "So, remember that guy I was telling you about? Dad, you might want to tune out because it turns out I love him. I'm in love with him..." she released a shaky breath, "...terribly in love with him. He doesn't know. In fact, I uh - I kind of let him go." More tears slipped past her eyes and she hurriedly wiped them away. "And it feels like I made the biggest mistake...that it might be too late to fix it.
"Mom, you were the one who always told me to follow my heart and to do whatever makes me happy. And he makes me so willfully happy. But what if happy is dangerous? What if happy means I'm going to get hurt again? What if he...leaves me like you did? I don't think I'd survive if he -" She swallowed her words, letting her head fall into her hands and cradled it. Forcing herself to stop crying, she gulped back her sob and lifted her head out from her hands. "I don't know what to do, mom. Where do I go from here?"
And then, staring at her parents' graves, she took a deep breath and knew. She knew that life was far too short not to chase her own happiness.
Edward sat at his piano in the large living room, one arm resting over the music rack and his other hand pressing random keys. He ignored the hustle and bustle of his family, sans Carlisle, preparing the Christmas decorations within and outside of the house. It's something they did in human speed; it's something they did as a family.
He wasn't entirely in the festive mood this year.
It had been over five weeks since he had last spoken to Abigail that frightful Saturday night. And he wished deeply and fiercely that his family never made it back to Forks, Washington. He wished he had never met her. He was angry with her at first, angry that she didn't want to be with him, angry that it was so easy for her to rip his undead heart out of his chest. But in retrospect, she was right.
What future could their's have been? Of course, he was content living her forever and then, he'd follow her into an afterlife while praying that the next world had her in it.
Really, he knew, he was heartbroken because she wasn't giving the two of them a chance; a single life changing chance. And it was driving him to the brink of insanity because damn all the consequences, he just wanted her. He'd never wanted anything more in his life and just this once, he deserved to be selfish. Edward was waiting for her for over a hundred years and now he'd finally found her, but she didn't want him. It was killing him, and here he was, writing song after song for her, trying to reach some sort of solace.
There had to be a way to reach her in; there had to be something.
He almost groaned when he felt the side of his bench shift with the unwelcome company of Alice.
"What?" He seethed, eyes still staring at the keys under his fingertips. Edward tried swimming through her thoughts only to find her thinking of where to place the sparkling lights within the house. And of course, Alice continued to offer no help.
"Can you stop sulking and help us decorate?" Alice pouted, placing her chin on Edward's shoulder.
"No," he deadpanned. "And I'm not sulking."
The entire house shook with a resounding laugh from all of his family members and he rolled his eyes at all of his siblings. He faintly heard Esme slap Emmett upside the head after laughing a little too loud.
"So, you're going to drown your sorrows into your piano?" Alice huffed, taking her chin off of the man's shoulder and crossing her arms across her chest.
"That's the plan," Edward grumbled. What's it to the rest of the family if he wanted to spend the rest of his life at his piano? Edward thought. No one else's mate had rejected them; he was allowed to wallow in self-pity if he wanted to.
"Do you realize how sad that is?" Edward turned to glare at her and she rolled her eyes, continuing, "Come on, you can't possibly just give up on her."
"It's what she wants, Alice," he mumbled, trying not to think of Abby's wonderful brown eyes and stunning smile that he hadn't seen in weeks. "I'm respecting her choices; it's the right thing to do." No matter how desperately he felt the pull to run back to her. She simply didn't want him.
"Well, this is not how the story is supposed to end."
"Apparently, we lack a story completely." Edward sighed, "Besides, a part of me is fully away that she is right. I could never ask her to be apart of this life, Alice. She deserves a normal human existence."
"She's meant to be with you. I've seen it." And she allowed Edward to see it too.
A vision she had after their date in Seattle, the two of them cuddled up with each other in front of the fireplace of the Cullen home. Abby was tucked under his chin with a book in her hands, reading aloud to the two of them. Edward was leaned back against the armrest of the couch with her sitting in between his legs and his eyes were closed, his fingers carelessly playing with her hair, while intently listening to her silk-like voice. He pressed a soft kiss against the crown of her head.
"Future's can change," he countered gently, slipping out of her thoughts, trying not to think of something that could've been, trying not to think of the constant state of torment he was forced to be within.
"Do you really believe that she doesn't want you, Edward?" Alice questioned him with a raised eyebrow and an all knowing smirk on her face.
He scowled, "What exactly are you hiding, Alice?"
In Alice fashion, she ignored his question completely, started to think of a gospel rendition of Jingle Bell's, and asked another rhetorical question, "Do you truly believe she doesn't want you to fight for her?"
"What're you saying?" Edward asked, prying her thoughts once again only to simply hit a mind block. He narrowed his eyes at her and she simply smiled at him.
Esme suddenly appeared by his side with a motherly smile plastered on her lips. "I think, darling, she's saying go to her."
"No!" Rosalie suddenly barreled down the stairs with her lips peeled back and her eyes blazing a fiery gold. "You can't possibly think of bringing her into your life. She made the right choice."
"Rosalie," Esme scolded, glaring at the blonde, "your opinion is neither here nor there. This is about Edward and Abigail."
"But she's is right," Edward added softly, closing the fall board onto his piano keys, "what could I possibly gain from bringing her into this life?"
"I know I'm right! Esme, she's human! She has a future!" Rose exclaimed. But the blonde's eyes softened considerably as she watched her brother's shoulders drop slightly and a forlorn look crossed his features. Maybe she couldn't fully understand his pain but no human deserved an immortal life. Yet, Rose had Emmett - she had someone in this lonely existence, and while Edward might've found a mate that wasn't a vampire...well, even she couldn't imagine not having Emmett in her life. She knew it too - it just wasn't fair.
"Shut up, Rose." Alice nearly growled. "What could you gain!? Happiness," she rolled her eyes. She abruptly stood up from the piano bench and stretched out her arms over her head to empathize, "Edward don't you see how happy the two of you could be if you'd just man up?!"
"She wants nothing to do with me!" Edward retaliated with a slight hiss yet every word he spoke sent a harsh pang to his chest.
"She's a girl! She's guarded because she's scared!" Alice seethed, staring down at Edward who still sat on the piano bench. "She lost two people she loves in her life in a single moment! You truly think she could handle loving you and fear losing you?"
"But she wouldn't lose me," Edward stated with a cocked eyebrow as his fury slowly vanished.
Alice groaned, lopping her head to stare at the ceiling letting out a frustrated, "Men!"
"Dear God, he's hopeless," Rose muttered unhelpfully to the side, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. "No wonder you've been single all these years."
Edward sneered at Rose, "Weren't you on my side a moment ago?"
"Oh, I still believe she shouldn't be apart of your life because you know, you're a vampire and she isn't but you're dumb as a brick." Rose smirked at him while his glare deepened, "You know she wouldn't lose you. She doesn't."
"Reassure her, Edward," Esme added. "She might've ended things between you two because of her insecurities but if she's truly meant to be yours, then this end isn't the end at all - just the slightest hiccup to a lovely journey."
"Go to her, idiot," Alice smiled, purposefully singing the national anthem and not showing him the outcome of either decision he chose - to go or not to go.
"I don't agree with going to her at all," Rose stated, glaring at the bronze haired boy and crossing her arms across her chest, "but she is someone who's capable of making correct choices, and I'm tired of seeing you so miserable so hopefully she rejects you again."
Edward scoffed, "Thanks, Rose,"
"So," Alice drawled out with a gleeful smile, bouncing on the tips of her toes, "are you going?"
He sighed, getting up from the piano bench and replied, "It couldn't possibly hurt to try."
The Cullen family were all too busy to focus on anything else rather than the buzzing excitement of Edward leaving to see his beloved. No one cared to pay mind to an engine of a car that was several years older than any of theirs rolling up to the front of their mansion. Thunder cracked viciously within the sky when the door to the car slammed shut. The smell of rain touching the earth cloaked the ravishing scent of honeysuckle that none of the vampires caught.
Edward whipped open the front door and withheld a gasp when he saw the girl he was running out to see; a hopeful look upon her face, an umbrella held high to stop the rainfall from drenching her to the bone, and softly nibbling her bottom lip.
Alice's jaw dropped, swiftly appearing behind Edward's shoulder, "I can sincerely say: I did not see this coming."
A/N: Alright, did you all see that coming? *side eyes in mischief* What's going to happen now?
This was supposed to be up a lot sooner! But I got completely sidelined by midterms (y'all I'm dying someone save me). The next chapter should be up soon (hopefully by this weekend) because I don't want to keep you on the edge of your seat for too long lol
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I know I did. Reviews, follow/favorite, love you guys always, let me know your theories in the review section *kisses*!
