Chapter Nineteen: Holiday
Mia runs her hands up and down my arms as Perry and LaFontaine peek outside the window. "Are you feeling better?"
I shake my head. "I don't like this place."
I share a look with Carmilla, whose eyes wander a look of boredom written across her face, but I can see a bit of weariness hiding beneath.
"Can you see them? Are they still coming?" Perry asks.
"I think we lost them in those trees that looked like wicker people," LaF says.
"What about there? That could be the torches. Get down!"
The two duck down and Laura turns towards the camera. "Hey…everyone who still might be watching, and welcome to the Christmas version of this vlog, happening in this very creepy diner; instead of my Dad's nice cozy home all because of our unexpected need to flee the Silas campus several days ago. And, because when we finally hiked to the nearest town and tried to explain our situation, someone," she shoots a glare at Carmilla. "tried to bite their mayor. So, they formed a mob."
"With torches!" Perry pitches in.
"And pitchforks!" LaFontaine adds.
"And chased us here. Happy holidays!" Laura finishes sarcastically.
Carmilla sighs. "I still don't see why you killjoys stopped me. One less politician in the world."
"It's Christmas. You don't murder people for Christmas!"
"A holiday where you can't kill people is a stupid holiday."
"All of you! Sssh! They will hear us!"
"Actually," LaFontaine takes a closer look. "it kinda looks like they're moving away."
"Or at least not getting any closer." She shrugs. "Well, I guess we can just hole up here. Wherever here is." She says, joining the booth Laura sits at.
"Hole up here? How long is that gonna be?" The blonde asks.
"Do you wanna go send the Bobbsey Twins out there to ask them?"
"So we're just stuck here indefinitely? Awesome." Laura deadpans.
"What's with you? Did one of those Styrian whack-jobs graze you with a pitchfork?"
"No, no. I'm fine."
"Well, it could be much worse. It looks like this used to be some kind of diner…" Perry looks around. "or bakery or something. And looks like we can find some food."
"Waaay ahead of you," LaF says, already reaching for a cookie only for Perry to smack it out of their hand.
"I'm not sure those are edible." Her gaze catches on an object nearby, eyes widening. "Ooo, a hot chocolate machine!" The two head over to it.
Mia continues trying to warm me up but I grab her hands, stopping the motions. "I appreciate the help, but it's not all that needed. I can handle the cold better than humans." I smile at her. "Thank you though. Why don't you sit down and I'll see about getting you some hot chocolate?"
Mia smiles at me, her warm brown eyes glinting underneath the light. "Yeah, that sounds good." She presses her kiss to my cheek, her lips still cold from the weather. "Could you add some cinnamon to it?"
"Of course," I nod. "Go get comfortable. We may be here a while." I tell her before heading over to LaF and Perry, who offer me a cookie. Something about the sight of it sets me on edge. "No thanks."
Carmilla sighs. "Alright, I'm gonna regret this; but what's wrong?"
"Oh, I don't know," Laura drawls. "maybe that we had to flee school and hike through mountains. And there's no cell coverage, so my Dad probably thinks I died in an earthquake and…" She continues over the sound of LaF and Perry eating, having found some snacks. "and there's a mob chasing us and it's Christmas! And I'm supposed to be watching the BBC Christmas Specials with my Dad, and, and making gingerbread and hot chocolate and…" She shakes her head. "and you think all that's stupid."
"And useless and sentimental," Carmilla adds. "But when has that ever stopped you before? Come on! We'll stick candles in expired East German snack cakes and…we'll have our own Christmas."
"Yeah." Laura agrees, still looking a bit forlorn. "It's not the same."
I groan and rub my stinging eyes, a tight feeling in my chest as music sound through my ears. I open them and look back to the others, brows furrowing in confusion at the sight of mugs sitting on the table in front of them.
"Was someone just here?" Carmilla asks.
Laura eyed the mugs of hot chocolate. "Were those here before?"
I head over to Mia, who looks at her hot chocolate in confusion. "Is this some other power you've yet to mention?" She asks. I shake my head and take a seat next to her, looking at the mug in concern.
Perry offers Carmilla and Laura some of the snacks they'd been eating. Carmilla shakes her head.
"Corn syrup and diglycerides, baby." LaF celebrates.
"Normally I'm not a fan of mass-produced confections, but these are amazing!" Perry says.
"Remember those cookies your mom used to make for Hanukkah?"
My eyes begin to sting again, the feeling in my chest happening again.
"Oh, yes," Perry continues. "remember those ones with the little candy canes bits and the-"
"So, that's kinda weird," LaF says.
Suddenly the accented voice of a woman speaks. "Can I help you, girls?" She asks politely, looking down at us with a smile.
Laura's shoulder jump, surprised by her appearance. "Sorry! We just…didn't know anyone else was here, what with the dust and the spiders and everything."
"Oh, don't be silly. This is the Klaus Kuchen Haus, the most famous Christmas Destination in all of Austria. We had to build it here after we left the pole. That unfortunate business with the reindeer, you know. But look at you poor birds. Exhausted, all alone, so far from home! Let Mama whip you up a Christmas treat! All of your favorite things, let me see, we have, uh," She points at LaFontaine. "Peppermint fudge," her eyes go to Perry. "cranberry tarts," She tells her before turning her gaze to Mia. "And snickerdoodle," her eyes settle on me, lingering a bit longer before answering. "and triple chocolate brookies." Her gaze halts at Carmilla. "and…blood…sausage? Eukh," she looks to Laura. "and gingerbread with cider." She says before gingerbread cooks appear in front of Laura.
"That's amazing!" Laura marvels.
"Try the gingerbread!" She smiles. "It's my specialty."
Carmilla rolls her eyes, as Laura takes a bite of the cookie. "Oh, really. So, when I offer, it's all 'you don't understand, Carmilla', 'Oh, you can't kill people for Christmas, Carmilla'. But some old diner lady hauls out her creepy gingerbread and-" She picks up a gingerbread man decorated with red icing to mimic blood; a faint scream seemingly coming from the cookie. "Her really…" She examines it further, thinking her ears must've been mistaken. "creepy gingerbread…"
"What's the matter, sweet girl?" The woman asks, looking at Laura. "Would you like something else? Some jelly beans or gumdrops, or chocolate cake or marzipan?"
Laura smiles at her. "No, that's okay," she reassures her. "this is wonderful. It's just- I miss my dad."
Carmilla eyes the plate of sweet with suspicion before turning a bit to look at me, my eyes reflecting the same.
"Of course you do." The woman holds a hand to her chest. "I miss all my little helpers. And my fat husband."
"Did something happen to them?"
"Well, once the customers stopped coming, certain…sacrifices had to be made, you know." She explains. As she speaks, Mia goes to take a bite of her cookie but I lay my hand on top of hers; stopping her. "They didn't agree with Kris and his elfen." Carmilla turns to see LaF and Perry stuffing their faces. "But, food can be such a comfort!" The woman smiles. "You just let the sugar and the butter and the spice fill you up to the brim. It's the stuff of life!"
"Gingerbread cookies?" Laura says, holding her cookie up.
"Of course!"
"Um, can I borrow you for a second?" Carmilla asks.
"Yeah, sure!" Laura says as Carmilla takes her hand. They move slightly away from the woman, turning to Mia and me in the next booth. "You want a cookie?"
Carmilla looks at the cookie. "Maybe later." She says before looking back at Laura. "You don't think any of this is suspicious?"
I nod my head but Laura looks at her in confusion. "Any of what?" she asks.
"Uh, the magical treats? The angry mob too scared to come in here? The gingerbread dioramas of doom?"
"Please," Laura's eyes roll to the top of her head. "she is literally Mama Claus. A sweet lady who likes Christmas."
"Have you seen those things?" Carmilla asks, looking back to the gingerbread. I follow her gaze, eyes widening at the sight of the violent cookie decoration.
"Okay, just because you hate the holidays–" Laura continues.
"This isn't about me hating Christmas." The vampire denies it.
"Fine!" Laura says, returning to her seat. "Whatever you say, Scrooge McVampire." She picks up another cookie and goes to eat it but Carmilla snatches it away from her. "Seriously? Fine. There's plenty more merry where that came from." She gets up and goes to join LaFontaine and Perry.
Carmilla sits down with a sigh. "You two are a lot of help."
I take another cookie from Mia's hand and slide the plate away from her. "A little busy over here," I say, trying to keep Mia from reaching for the plate again; holding onto her hand, less she gets up to join the others.
Laura picks up a cookie. "Weird, Christmas-hating vampire." She harshly bites a piece off. "She probably goes around pretending to be Krampus and telling kids Santa dies in their chimneys." She rants before looking at LaFontaine and Perry, who continue to stuff sweet after sweet into their mouths. "Uh, guys? How many of these have you eaten?"
"A truly alarming quantity." LaF answers.
Perry nods. "I think I'd like to stop now. I'm starting to feel like I'm made of cookies."
Realization dawns upon Laura's face. "Ooooh, crap." She groans before 'Mama Claus' appears behind her. She turns around in fright.
"Why aren't you eating, dear?" She asks lowly, her dark gaze not moving from Laura. "It's Christmastime. Indulge yourself."
LaF and Perry get up and run behind the counter as Laura slowly backs away. "Um, I'm just so worried about my sugar intake, what with health heart and diabetes, and…"
"No need to worry about those things, my little Lebkuchen, my little Weinachten snack."
"Yeah…" Laura's face scrunches. "just so we're clear here, you totally turn people into gingerbread and eat them, don't you?" She asks before yelping as she dodges a swipe from the woman.
"It's been so long since Mama had a Christmas feast." She tilts her head. "I'll roast you like those tasty reindeer."
Laura tries to run but trips over her untied shoelaces. "Haha, yep, okay…Carmilla?"
"Oh, really?" Carmilla bats her eyes. "Cause I wouldn't want to ruin your holiday fun." She says.
LaF and Perry return, armed with brooms and a rolling pin as their weapons. I stand from my seat, keeping my eyes on the woman and fiddling with my ring.
"Evil Christmas lady trying to eat me here!" Laura says.
"You know, with all my inappropriate mayor-biting and talk about murdering people for Christmas." Carmilla continues.
"Murder her for Christmas!" Laura shouts as the woman stands over her. "Murder her for Christmas!"
The vampire checks her nails before sighing and rising from her seat. I quickly fall back into the booth and take Mia's head to bury it into my neck, blocking the view of the gruesome dismemberment that takes place; the sounds of growls and screams filling the room. LaFontaine slowly covers Laura's eyes as zie and Perry watch on in horror. My eyes sting once more as the feeling in my chest fades.
Once that was over and done with, no mess to be seen; Laura clicks her camera back on, LaFontaine and Perry hanging over the booth behind her. "So, I am pleased to announce that we survived the trial by cannibalistic Christmas Witch."
"And watching Carmilla disembowel said witch seems to have scared off the mob," Perry adds.
"Shocker." Mia drawls off-camera from her place across the table, having moved seats to share a booth with the couple.
Carmilla returns, sitting down next to Laura. "Hey."
"Hey."
"Look what I found." She holds up a gingerbread cookie.
Laura grimaces. "Oh, I am so never eating gingerbread again. Oh, you have a little something…right here." She a bit of blood from the corner of Carmilla's mouth with a napkin. "Ew." She giggles.
"Look, I know I'm not so good with the 'feelings' thing, but…I'm sorry things are so messed up at school." Carmilla says. "And, I'm sorry you're not spending Christmas with your Dad."
"Thanks," Laura says. "And as Christmas company goes, you're not so bad yourself…for a vampire." She smiles before pressing a kiss to Carmilla's cheek. "Merry Christmas, Carm."
LaFontaine quickly kisses Perry's cheek, causing a blush to warm her cheeks. I kiss Mia's cheek as well. Carmilla and Laura share a cookie.
I tilt my head at the two. "Huh, you're eating gingerbread again," I say, making the group chuckle.
