Shinji came up the stairs to the apartment and stopped at the top. He cocked an eyebrow as he resumed walking, coming up to the large box that was placed next to the front door. The box didn't have any labels on it, but it didn't look like a shipping box.
He just noticed the front door was still open. Proceeding inside he came into range of the argument now going on in the living room.
Asuka was speaking. "It's going to crowd the space! You can't fit that in here!"
"I thought you said you wanted a couch." Misato replied. As Shinji passed through the kitchen and looked into the living room he saw what was going on.
Misato had pulled out the vacuum and moved all the furnishings of the living room against the patio windows. It reminded him of when the room was cleared for the dance practice with Asuka.
Asuka, having arrived before Shinji, had her arms crossed. Her head whirled when Shinji asked, "What's going on?"
"Shinji!" Their guardian beamed, "You won't believe it, but I snagged a great deal!"
"O-on what?"
Asuka answered, "A couch."
"A…couch?" Shinji said, and took the magazine advertisement that Misato handed him. The picture depicted a very wide, very deep couch. "Did… did we need a couch?"
Misato looked between the two of them. "i could have sworn both of you wanted a couch… or was it a loveseat? Anyway," she clapped her hand on the vacuum handle before the kids could respond, "This was on a mondo extreme sale so I couldn't refuse!"
Asuka lifted her head a little. "Do you want to know why it was on sale? Because they couldn't sell it. You Japanese have tiny houses." She pointed at the magazine, "Nobody in their right mind would buy a couch this big!"
Misato shook her head. "Ye of little faith, Asuka. It's here now, let's set it up before you shoot it down."
Asuka shot Shinji a glance of angry doubt, before she headed to her room. "I'm not having anything to do with this."
"Not even if Kaji comes over to help put it together?" Misato said in a teasing voice as her head tracked Asuka moving to the hall.
Asuka hesitated at her door, then shouted back, "If he shows up, THEN I'll come out!" And she passed through, then closed the door.
Misato snapped a finger. "Dang, she didn't take the bait." She put on a big smile to Shinji and asked, "Want to help me put it together?"
Misato's couch
Norsehound
"Ok," Misato wheezed at one end of the box, "remember Shinji, push as I turn. Go!"
Shinji's exhausted arms held and pushed the cumbersome box. They cleared the bend from the entry hall into the kitchen at last. "Stopstopstopstop!" Misato wailed and they brought the box down with a grunt from Shinji to the kitchen floor.
Panting, both of them took a moment to recover before Misato said, "Last box, last push. Ready Shinji?"
"Ah… one… minute…." The Evangelion pilot replied as he tried to catch his breath. After a moment he got into position. "Okay."
Misato made a happily determined face as her hands gripped the box. "One… two… three!"
The two got the box into the living room at last. Shinji, recovering and sweaty from transporting eight boxes into the apartment, looked up. Asuka had already opened one of the boxes and was looking at the instruction guide as she stood by the hall. "You're going to need a tool kit. Do you have one?"
Misato opened her mouth to drop an easy affirmative when she halted and second guessed whether she had a toolkit. "Of… of course I do! Shinji, look in the hall closet!" She pointed to the door.
An exhausted Shinji swung himself around and disappeared through the kitchen. Misato stepped over the boxes to Asuka. Misato asked, "What does it say?"
The woman took the paper out of the girls' hands and stared at it. Asuka gave the unaware Misato a miffed glance before uttering, "At least you could have picked a better color."
Misato blinked, "What do you mean, it's not-" she looked down at the exposed bright teal fabric. She reached a hand down to scrape at it as if it could rub off. "It's not red? I ordered burgandy!"
Asuka, arms crossed, said, "You got to return this Misato, it's repulsive."
Misato rightened herself and stared into space for a quick calculation of how much it would cost to rent a truck and have an argument with a store clerk. "We'll, well just make do! Maybe we can cover it up."
"With what," Asuka said, "Paint? Or our dignity?"
Shinji came in just then. "We need paint too?"
Misato said quickly, "No! We dont!" Seeing Shinji empty handed she asked, "You couldn't find the toolkit?"
"No." Shinji sighed.
Misato sighed back and said, "oohhhkay, grab my keys and pull the auto kit from the car. In the trunk."
"I… I want to sit down for a while." Shinji said and leaned against one of the walls, sliding down to sit on the floor.
Misato stepped over boxes again and thrust the paperwork at Shinji. "Here, figure out what we need to do. I'll be back."
Misato straddled a box to open her bedroom door, went inside to get her keys, then left after stepping over other boxes and striding out of the apartment.
Shinji panted with the paper limp in his hands. Asuka stepped over to him, then said as she stood above him, "You think this is a stupid idea too."
Shinji lifted the paper pamphlet up with his thumb and finger. "A couch would be nice."
Asuka arched an eyebrow. "Seriously? You're going with Misato's stupid idea?" She stared at him another moment, then sighed and tilted her head. "That's right, I forgot, you never say no to her. So why did I even bother asking?"
"T-thats not true!" Shinji puffed, then sighed and went on, "I really would like a couch… just not this one. It's too big!"
"Hmmf." Asuka scoffed and looked at the big boxes. "We'll if you're not gonna make her return it, then you're stuck with it. She doesn't listen to me." Asuka walked back down the hall to her room.
Shinji tried to come up with a rebuttal to that, but, he couldn't. Asuka was right about that, especially lately, though Shinji didn't know what he was supposed to do about it. Unable to resolve that thought he sighed and tried to set about understanding the directions for the couch.
Asuka later needed to use the bathroom so she finally emerged from her room. She stopped at the end of the hall into the living room.
The doors to the balcony were wide open and some of the boxes had been pushed out the door. On the floor of the living room two of the frames were resting on the ground. Misato was sitting cross-legged as she leaned over the instruction pamphlet, in her hands were a couple of screwdrivers she turned idly in her grip. To her right was a formidable automotive toolkit rolled open with a mess of tools spilled beside it.
Shinji was looking at a flat blister pack, shaking it to jostle the screws so he could see them better. He turned his head to look at her. She said to them, "Some impressive progress you're making."
Misato grumbled under her breath, "Why couldn't these guys be like IKEA and give us instructions for idiots?"
Asuka smirked, "What's the matter, are the directions too sophisticated for you?"
Misato harrumphed. "Needlessly complex is more like it. The drawings have one screw, what we have doesn't look like that."
"How many are there?" Asuka asked.
"What?"
Asuka pointed, "You can figure out what goes where by comparing how much of what you have to the directions. They say find a dozen of this? Find which one of that comes in a dozen. Easy."
Misato smirked. "So Are you helping after all, or are you still staying aloof and judgemental?"
Asuka looked at the floor brackets, glanced at the confused Shinji and sighed. "Well, if I don't help you, you'll be at this all day. I'll be right back." Asuka stepped over another box on her way to the bathroom.
Once she was gone Shinji looked at Misato, who flashed v fingers at Shinji. "Hah! Got her!"
Shinji sighed.
Shinji knew it long before he struggled to find a way to say it. Even then, Asuka beat him to it. "It's too long."
Misato was lifting one of the parts. "Nope! I measured it out, it will fit in just fine! Shinji?" Misato grunted as she hefted one of the arm modules. She brought it to the end of the couch nearest to the hallway, and fitted it to the bottom and back. Asuka watched while Shinji fitted the other arm.
Once the couch back, sides, and frame were completed it was immediately obvious how much space this thing would take up. Even Misato had some surprise on her face as she carried forward with momentum to slide the final pillows into the rest of the ensemble. The bright teal couch stretched between the end of the hall to the kids' rooms and Misato's door.
There was barely a foot between the ends of the couch and the wall.
Asuka, arms crossed, said, "I told you. Mistake."
Misato put optimism on her face. "But look at how BIG it is!" she chimed and for emphasis, dropped dramatically on the couch. The cushions were wide enough that she could lie on them comfortably. She added, "It's like a bed!"
"Uh-huh." Asuka replied, "Now try getting out of there."
Misato wordlessly got up, looked at the couch, then decided to try squeezing past her door to get out of the space. Her butt stressed against the doorway as she cleared it. "There!"
Asuka grunted, "it's still too big."
"Nonsense!" Misato replied, "it's perfect! Shinji, take a seat!"
Blinking with his name called, Shinji took Misato's route, jamming his way past the door and taking a seat. Landing with his knees along the edge he fell backwards and landed at an odd angle with his neck jamming up against the seat back. "Ow."
Asuka said, "The seats are too deep for anyone to sit in! I'm telling you, this thing is too big!"
Misato stared at the couch for a moment with doubt before concluding, at this point, that it would be too much work to dismantle and dispose of than it was worth. Besides, she needed to get some use out of it. She smiled, her expression beaming. "It'll work out just fine. Now we have something more comfortable than the folding chairs in here!"
For almost a month the couch rested in the living room as the kids and Misato went about their days.
On the first morning of the following day, Misato forgot the arm of the couch was there and ran into it with a grunt. This would continue for six consecutive days. In two of them, Misato toppled over the arm and crashed into the cushions. Asuka was there to witness this in one of them, smugly saying, "I told ya."
In one evening Doctor Akagi and Kaji came over to visit for dinner and were seated around the table. Shinji, holding a hot pot of soup with holders, approached the couch and hesitated. All parties stared at one another as they all silently tried to solve this problem. Shinji tried to scale it by raising his leg over the back before he could be stopped. The couch wasn't hit, but Kaji was sent to the emergency room with second degree burns.
Pen Pen nearly every night approached the couch like an unassailable wall. He considered scaling it with his claws, but then looked at his feet and realized that couldn't happen, so he gave up. One evening Asuka left her door open and Pen Pen went through her room to get to the deck because the living room was inaccessible.
Toji and Kensuke thought the couch was a hoot. On the second Sunday they came over, they invented a game where someone would run through the kitchen and vault over the couch to see who could land the furthest. The chorus consisting of Hikari and Asuka put a stop to it before the inaugural session.
When setting out to play video games, Shinji and Asuka would be constantly shifting positions as they sat. The pads were too big for their legs to sit without jutting forward, and the back wasn't high enough to rest on. Eventually both kids settled with sitting on the floor with their backs to the couch, prompting them one evening to look at one another, then at the folded floor chairs they had been using before the couch arrived.
During one of the massive Eva battles going on outside, Pen-Pen desperately tried to reach the deck to see what was happening. Failing, he tried getting under the couch. That didn't work either.
Rei stared at the couch in one of the rare times she visited. Asuka, also for a rare moment, stood beside her with her arms crossed. Misato was seated on the couch, with a pained look on her face as she held her beer and avoided eye contact. Finally, Rei said, "This couch is too big." Asuka shot Misato a vindictive smile. Misato dismissed it with a grunt.
In the middle of one night Shinji wandered to the bathroom in the dark. Coming out of it and with his eyes blinded by light exposure, he ran into the couch and tumbled over it with a cry. A moment later the door to Misato's room also opened in the dark. "What's gowhaaa!" Misato said as she also toppled over the couch in the dark.
Misato, on a morning the kids were at school, watched Pen Pen again wander the perimeter of the couch. The bird then resolved to try leaping and grasping the top of the couch with his claws. Pen Pen braced for action and flicked out his claws, but Misato stopped him with a single word. "Don't."
In a synch test much later Misato, Ritsuko, Maya, and Makoto were watching the numbers. Ritsuko said, "Interestingly, Asuka is regaining her lead on Shinji. I would have expected him to be making more of a lead by now."
Misato, arms crossed, asked, "Is it a problem?"
Ritsuko shrugged. "Only in the sense that it's cloudy instead of a sunny day. Functionally there's no difference, but one is interesting and the other is just okay. The only thing that matters is that all children are showing gains."
"Hmm." Misato said, "Well, are we done?" When Ritsuko nodded, Misato turned on the pickup. "All right kids, we're done. Shinji, it seems like Asuka is gaining her lead back against you. So to give you an incentive to do better: I'm gonna give Asuka first dibs on the couch every day until you even it up!"
Both of the children moaned. Ritsuko blinked and said, "That's not how this works, Misato. They can't just-"
Asuka interrupted, "First dibs? What does that even mean? I don't want anything to do with that stupid couch!"
Shinji, sighing, said, "M-misato, I… I don't like the couch either."
Misato's dejected look stared at the orange test plugs beyond the glass. Behind her, Ritsuko asked, "How long do you want to be stubborn about this?"
Maya and Makoto's eyes bounced between speakers like a tennis match.
Misato said, "What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with the couch!"
"You've been living in enthusiastic denial for a month now. You can stop."
"Why do you even care, you don't even live in my apartment!"
"I'm watching out for you as your friend, Misato. And almost everyone around you has been begging for me to intervene."
"Everyone? Even Kaji?"
"Even Pen Pen."
"What? Now I know you're lying, Pen Pen can't even talk!"
Shinji interjected then, "N-no it's true Miss Misato, I saw Pen Pen holding the phone after calling Doctor Akagi. I had to put everything back together before you got home."
Misato sighed. Then she said to Ritsuko, "Did you have to do this now? In public?"
"You're more likely to do something about it now with people watching, aren't you?" Ritsuko replied.
Maya and Makoto exchanged looks.
Misato raised her exasperated face to the ceiling before makung a large sigh. "Fiiiine… we'll start taking apart the stupid thing when we get home and that will be the end of it."
Asuka and Shinji cheered. Ritsuko smiled. Maya and Makoto sighed. Rei blinked.
As they all headed up the stairs after coming home, Misato carried the auto toolkit with her and muttered, "I'm never going to find a couch that cheap again. It had a good run at least."
Asuka said, "No, it didn't! It constantly tripped us and got in the way! It was an eyesore the whole time it was here!"
Misato sighed as they got up to the door. A package was beside it. Misato nodded to it and said, "I ordered some blankets and pillows to try covering up the color. I guess we can use those for something else now. At least the refund window is still open so I can get some of my money back."
Entering, all three of them cried, "We're home!"
"Wark!" Pen Pen answered.
Shinji grabbed the package as Misato and Asuka came into the apartment. Asuka was saying, "Can't we just throw it off the balcony? It's not like anyone's going to care."
"The landlord might."
"Are they EVER here? Do they EVER care?"
"Someone out there collects my rent every month, which probably means there's liab…" Misato trailed off as she stepped from the kitchen into the living room. Asuka stepped in behind her to see what happened.
A plank taken from somewhere had been placed to form a ramp up the back of the couch while the TV was on. Pen Pen was fully reclined in the couch, head propped up against the back, and a beer was in his talons. As they looked at the rest of the couch, they saw the beer stains on the cushions and discarded cans. Both guessed the bird must have been ignorant of the softness of the cushions, and probably tipped the cans over accidently when he walked on them. Three cans had been tossed to the floor, the pads on the side closest to Misato's room were soaked. They also saw claw marks tearing up the fabric on the damaged side.
The two could only stare at the scene. Then as they watched, Pen Pen maneuvered the can up to his beak and drank, the excess spilling into the cushion he laid on.
Misato dropped the toolkit on the ground and huffed with irritation, "So much for the warranty. Okay Pen Pen, that's enough."
She grabbed the can out of the bird's tallons and handed it to Asuka in order to lift the bird out of the couch. Pen Pen huffed with disappointment as Misato dropped him to the floor. "You think you're disappointed?" Misato said, "Go get cleaned up. Now."
The bird waddled off to the bathroom, passing Shinji as he came in with the boxes from the front door. He came into the scene and blinked with astonishment.
Misato sighed again, looked at her watch and said, "This is going to get worse the longer it sits, so I need to get the truck. Shinji, start taking apart the couch. Asuka, do you want to help him or come with me?"
"Neither." Asuka said, "I've got nothing to do with this, remember?" She walked off to her room. "I told you this WHOLE TIME to get rid of this disaster before now."
Misato sighed as she watched Asuka go. Misato balled her fists, exhaled, and said, "I have to get going." She turned back to Shinji. "Just see what you can do. Make this easy to get out of here."
Shinji turned to watch Misato go, then looked at the disaster of the couch and sighed. He set the boxes down, then walked back into the kitchen to retrieve the instructions from the trash. He started flipping through the pages as he walked back to the living room, then stopped at the door frame as he came to one in particular they overlooked before. Then he looked up at the couch.
For about an hour Asuka busied herself with homework and ignored the rest of the house. Only when she heard the vacuum cleaner going did her attention perk up, and she decided to leave her room. She went out the door, took some steps, and rounded the corner just in time to see Shinji drop on the… much shorter couch. Asuka blinked.
The destroyed, waterlogged half of the couch had been dismantled and put in a pile in front of the door to the kitchen. The intact half had been moved at a slant to face the TV. The vacuum cleaner stood beside the far arm, and Shinji had draped one of the new blankets (black in color) over the back of the couch. The two pillows were also placed on the couch, though Shinji had grabbed one to rest his head. It was then that he noticed her and sat up again. "Asuka."
She stepped around the near end of the couch and examined it. At half the length with additional pillows and a rug to dampen the color, it wasn't all that bad now. "You fixed it." She said, "It was modular this whole time?"
"Yeah, it was. I thought I'd give this a try before Misato came back." Shinji said.
Asuka looked at the couch to the TV and back. "Sit up, I want to try it." She said.
Shinji complied, moving his headrest pillow to be along his back and scooting to one side. Asuka positioned the pillow and then sat to watch the TV with him. "This works." She said, "We should keep this."
"Great!" Shinji said, happy to know he resolved the issue.
"One more test. Don't move." Asuka replied, then leaned over. Shinji froze as Asuka's head landed in his lap.
Shinji hung there, startled but afraid to move. Gradually he settled his left arm on the couch arm and his right arm along the back. He wasn't sure what to make of this development.
"Before you over think this, Shinji." Asuka said, "The only way you can fail now is if you move. Do you have the remote?"
"Y-yeah…"
"Find something for both of us to watch."
"O-okay."
So he did.
Fin.
A/n: a common misconception in fanfiction (at least, at one time) was the idea that Misato's apartment has a couch. This small story was made out of a quip of mine over on the Asushin discord about artwork depicting the couch.
I like to think from here, the presence of a reasonable couch allows Shinji and Asuka little intimate moments together that allow things to be better between them.
I couldn't include it in the story for surprise reasons, but Pen Pen spent a good amount of time jumping on the couch once he got the ramp installed. that's where the claw marks and beer stains come from.
Hope you had fun reading this!
