Hello,

Thank you for following my story and thank you for the reviews ^^

Note 1: In Italics, the storyteller speaking (moi ^^)

Note: In the next chapters we will see the consequences of what happen to Alison, she will have some struggle dealing with her PTSD

Note 3: I changed the name of the chapter to 'Damaged'

:

Chapter 32 – Damaged

Some days passed after the funeral; the trial happened against Cece, Jenna, Mona, Melissa and Sarah. All the girls got declared guilty of the charges of kidnapping and other crimes. Only Mona and Melissa could about Jail because they appealed to have psychiatric disorders; Cece tried to play that card but because she was the master mind and murderer of several victims, she got jail.

(In the therapy session of Alison)

As recommended by the doctors, Alison assisted to her therapy session with Dra. Violet Tunner.

Alison. – "So how many sessions we need to do…?"

Tunner. – "Well Alison, that depends on you… my job is to ensure that your mentally stable after everything that happen and that continue happing in your life.."

Alison signed

Tunner. – "You shouldn't see this as an obligation; see this as an opportunity to heal…"

Alison crossed her arms and leaned on the sofa looking to the ceiling.

Tunner. – "There is something in particular that would you like to talk today?"

Alison. – "Nop…"

Sadly the attitude of the blonde hasn't help, she's an expert to hide her emotions and feeling, it's her mechanism of defense and right now, she has shut down everything inside her.

Tunner. – "Why don't we talk about the funeral of your Dad… would you like to share with me how was the funeral of your Dad?"

Alison. – "It was raining…"

Tunner. – "And?"

Alison. – "I got soaked by the rain…"

Tunner. – "And?"

Alison glanced at her and said with a bitter tone. – "It will be easier if you tell me what you want to hear instead of sayint 'and'…"

Tunner. – "Alison, I'm here for listening what you want to share…"

Alison. – "I'm not the sharing type…"

Tunner. – "Well, we have 50mn so we have time to find something that you may want to share…"

Alison rolled her eyes and said. – "Fine… I cried when I remember one memory of my Dad…"

Tunner. – "It was a happy memory?"

Alison. – "Yes…"

Tunner. – "And what happen after you cried… did it make you feel better?"

Alison. – "No… it made me feel empty…"

Tunner took notes and asked. – "Did something gave you any comfort or made you feel better…?"

Alison. – "Emily… she…. When I cried… she hugged me… but…"

Tunner. – "But?"

Alison. – "She was hugging me and then I pushed her away with anger…"

Tunner. – "And why did you do that?"

Alison. – "I wasn't thinking when I curled into her at first but then I got more conscious of the situation and when I saw her face… I just snapped… I got really angry…" (She looked to the doctor in the eyes and said) "We've already talked about it… I don't see the need to repeat it…"

Tunner. – "Yes Alison, we've talked that seeing Emily, your girlfriend as well as your other friends caused you to remember those moments of torture as flashes in your head… but we need to explore that and figure out what triggers your anger… was her face what trigger your anger?"

Alison gulped and hugged herself tight. – "Yes… I … I just… when I saw her… when I see them… the memories… they come to my mind as flashes, I just see them and the flashes of how they tortured me… they came to my mind… and I remember the pain, the agony, the impotence and I get really mad…"

Tunner. – "But they didn't really hurt you Alison… it wasn't them…"

Alison murmured. – "I don't know… I'm not sure…"

Tunner. – "The police found the masks of your friends that the other person used to hurt you… I know that it's not easy to dissociate what you experienced and what really happen but don't worry we will figurate it out…"

Alison. – "What if we can't? What if I'm so fucked up that my damage is irreversible… does it means that I would never be able to be close to them?"

Tunner. – "Is that the reason why are you so reluctant to see them? To keep them as far as possible from you?"

Alison signed. – "You've seen me when I snap… I got really angry… and I can't control myself… I can't control these flashes and my rage… and I hate the feeling… so I avoid them… It made my day easier… beside everything I… I don't want to hurt them…"

Tunner. – "Alison, I do understand that you don't want to hurt them… but avoid them without talking about why is not also the solution… perhaps open up with them could help you to figure out what really activate your anger… as soon as we found the source of your triggers, you will feel better… we can program a group session if…"

Alison. – "NO!"

Tunner saw that Alison wasn't still ready to share what happen with her and open up about it with those who were closed to her so she decided to don't push it further.

The session of therapy ended and Alison was in the elevator when she received a message from Noel saying that he was something to show her; she texting him back and indicated him to go directly to her house.

(In Alison's house)

Alison was in her living room checking in the documents that Noel brought her.

Noel smirked. – "Admit it! Even for me this is good…"

Alison glanced. – "If you weren't such a perv I'm sure that the CIA would hire you in a second…"

Noel smirked as he grabbed a donut from Alison's kitchen. – "Mmm… defending my country… that's a future that I never imagined…"

Alison laughed. – "For good reasons…"

Noel laughed and continued eating the donut but some of the jelly-filled got in his t-shirt and in the sofa.

Alison continued talking as she was focus in the pictures that Noel brought. – "What is he doing there…?"

Noel. – "What is anyone doing there? It's a facility for disturbed or addicted…"

Alison. – "It seems that no one likes to be on the ground floor of a scandal like you…"

Noel smirked. – "So the question here is what do you do now?"

Alison smirked. – "Mmm… I was thinking total social destruction… this mister Cooper thinks that he can take control of my empire… well no one takes what is mine… I will destroy and belittle his 'honorable' reputation and let's see what will say the directive board about it…"

Noel smirked. – "And here I thought you were getting soft…" (Mocking smiles)

Alison looked him and huffed as he saw that he was dirtying her sofa with the jelly-filled of the donut.

Alison huffed. – "Don't you know how to eat? Go clean yourself… I will clean this…"

Noel nodded and leave to the toilet as she was cleaning the jelly stain.

As Alison was with Noel in her house, Emily was arriving, her mom gave her the best excuse to visit the blonde, a casserole of food; Pam say to Emily that when people is grieving they should be good neighbors and support the others with warm food. Emily knew that Pam was doing it to give her a little push to be close to Alison. Since the day of the funeral, Emily hasn't talk with the blonde, the brunette was still confused with the attitude of the blonde, one moment they were hugging and suddenly Alison was pushing her away and looking her with anger and terror; just remember that look made her shiver. Emily was in the front porch practicing what to say before belling the door.

In the meantime, inside the house…

Noel. – "Hey, I can't get off of this stain in my shirt…"

Alison huffed. – "You're really useless for some things… take it off, give it to me I will put it in the machine…"

Noel did as instruct it and he stood shirtless, they heard the belling of the door and Alison started to walk towards her washer as she said.

Alison. – "Open it; it may be the Chinese food that I order…"

Noel opened the door and as soon as he did it, Emily's mind could just focus on what she was seeing, Noel shirtless in Alison's house, she was red of angry and jealousy; she got in the house, pushing Noel a side and she arrived to the living room as she left the casserole in a table close to it.

Emily yelled. – "Alison! Alison! Alison!"

Noel. – "Emily this is not wh…"

Emily said. – "I'm not talking with you! Alison!"

The blonde approached and said. – "What is it with those screams!"

Alison looked to the brunette and kept her distance when she said. – "What are you doing here?"

Emily. – "I stop by to check on you and bring you something to eat and I found this…" (She pointing out Noel shirtless)

Noel was going to say something but Alison shut his mouth with her hand.

Alison said to Noel. – "Let her speak first…"

Noel. – "But…"

Alison glanced to Noel. – "I said! Let her speak first…"

Emily was really agitated and slammed a fist on the table. Alison just contempt Emily's behavior without saying a word until the brunette started to talk.

Emily said as she pointed finger Noel. – "I see that you're not alone… is this a private party or what?! Alison! What are you doing with this insect?"

Alison smirked. – "Having the time of my life… thank you very much…"

Emily. – "Well as much as I enjoy piercing your bubble… you're just using him to get to me for what happen with Talia!" (Emily said as she raised an eyebrow) "Alison, this guy…"

Alison. – "What?! He's dishonest, bad news… it can't be any worse than you…"

Emily yelled. – "I'm your fucking girlfriend! I'm the one trying to help you… "

Alison glanced. – "Help me?! That was what you were doing with that blonde in your bed when my life was going up in flames?! When I was being tortured?!"

Alison kept her hand in Noel's mouth and she started to caress his abdomen to provoke Emily as she said. – "Thank you for your help Emily but I'd rather take Noel's help… Now if you're done with your act of jealousy please leave that I've important things to do with Noel…"

Emily. – "I'm not leaving… I'm your girlfriend… we need to talk…"

Alison. – "There is nothing to say beside the fact that I liberate you about your obligation as my girlfriend Emily…"

Emily confused. – "What are you…?"

Alison. – "Let's end this…"

Emily gulped. – "It's that really what you want…?!"

Emily tried to approach but as soon as the blonde noticed her getting closer she got a flash of her torture.

Alison's flash: The supposted Emily approaching and putting the cattle prod in her body as she screamed "No! Please Em! Stop! Stop! Stop!"

Alison closed her eyes and yelled. – "Don't you dare to get close to me!"

Emily. – "It's that really what you want?!"

Alison didn't reply; Emily was still too angry and jealous to think before talking but she just nodded and said "Ok, let's break up" as she lashed the door when she left. As soon as Emily left, Alison liberated Noel's mouth.

Noel. – "Why you did that?! I thought that you love her… isn't it?"

Alison served herself a drink and said with an empty look. – "Love is not enough Noel… this is the best for both of us…" (She turned towards him and said) "Let's go to what it's important… I will lend you one of the t-shirt of Jason; we need to deal with other business…"

In a short time both leave the house.

(In Emily's house)

Emily arrived to her house very irritated and angry, she went directly to her room and her mom followed her.

Pam. – "Honey, are you ok?"

Emily. – "Fine! Perfect! Never better!"

Pam. – "Ok… but if you need to talk I'm here ok…"

Pam knew that it wasn't the truth but she saw Emily too upset to talk so she didn't insist on that and tried to change the subject in order to help her to clear her mind.

Pam. – "Honey, I leave you here some box, remember that we're doing a garage sell for the benefit of the church so if you have something in your room that you want to give…"

Emily. – "Yeah sure…"

Pam. – "Ok Honey… I will leave them here in your room… but I need you to do it today because I will take them to the church tonight"

She put a soft kiss in Emily's head and left. Emily didn't want to think of what happen with Alison, she needed to distract her head so she started to do what her mom told her; she was cleaning her room and putting in the box old clothes and some books and suddenly she saw the snow globe and as she remembered Alison touching Noel shirtless, her blood was boiling and she put the snow globe in one of the boxes; as she did it, she laid on her bed and started to cry, after some hours of crying she felt sleep.

(In Philadelphia)

Mr. Cooper was in his office as he received an unexpected visit.

Alison. – "Mr. Cooper…"

Mr. Cooper. – "Yes… who are you? How did you get in...? This is a private building…"

Alison smirked. – "This is my building Mr. Cooper and this is my company… I'm Alison DiLaurentis… you could have known who I'm if you had been kind enough to assist to my Dad's funeral…"

Mr. Cooper cleared his throat. – "Miss DiLaurentis, let me apo…"

Alison didn't let him to end his sentence.

Alison said as she felt in his chair of his office. – "Let's cut the hypocrisy Mr. Cooper… we both know why I'm here… you're trying to be the head of my empire in order to sell it to outsider investors…"

Mr. Cooper. – "Miss DiLaurentis, you're Dad passed away and you…"

Alison. – "You know Mr. Cooper, I tried to deny it but I'm still after all, Jessica's daughter, so if I were you, I would try carefully how to play the next hand…" (She stood up and approached to him with an intimidated posture) "Jessica made every question a quiz, every choice a test, second-best was for losers, compassion for the weak never, trust no one… those are the lesson I grew up with… so if you think that you can do whatever you want with my company, you're wrong!"

Mr. Cooper got angry and said. – "You're out of place, get out of my office! Now!"

Alison smirked and showed to him some pictures and documents

Mr. Cooper gulped. – "What is this?!"

Alison smirked. – "This is your real face Mr. Cooper, these are the proofs that you're not more than a thief, drug addict and a gambling addict… can you imagine what could happen if all of this become public, what will say your family? Your kids, who are so proud of you?" (Mocking smiles)

Mr. Cooper gulped. – "What do you want?"

Alison. – "Your immediate resignation…"

After some time in the building, Alison got in the car where Noel was waiting for her.

Noel. – "So how it went?"

Alison smirked. – "As planned…" (She gave back the file to Noel) "Take this and send it to all the newspapers..."

Noel. – "But he resigned…"

Alison. – "And…?! I told you before… total social destruction… he's too cowardly to act against me or the company if he gets exposed for what he's… I'm not going to take any risk…"

Noel. – "Ok, you're the boss…"

Alison smirked. – "Yes… I'm…"

As they were in the car, Alison received a call.

(Phone call)

Alison. – "Hello?"

Nurse of the Hospital of Rosewood. – "Miss DiLaurentis, we're calling you from the Hospital of Rosewood… it's about your mother… Mary Drake… you should come as soon as possible…"

Alison's eyes got bigger and she said. – "I'm in my way…"

Alison asked Noel to drive as faster as possible to the hospital.

(In the hospital of Rosewood)

Alison was running all over the hallway of the hospital when she approached to Mary's room she saw the doctor in her door.

Alison said with a shaky voice. – "What is it?! Did she code?! Is…"

Before she could end a sentence, she started to have watery-eyes as she heard a familiar voice.

Mary murmured. – "Ali?!"

Alison approached and the tears didn't stop as she said. – "You're awake…"

Mary tried to raise a hand but she was too weak to do it so Alison took her and put it in her face, when Mary could touch her daughter again, she smiled.

Mary murmured. – "You're alive… you're safe… you're here…"

They talked for a while, Alison took her time to say about Kenneth's death and ensure her mother that they were safe from –A. After a while of talking, Alison left Mary with the doctors and she just talked with one doctor.

Alison said with happiness. – "She looks so much better…" (She looked to the doctor and saw a concerned look in his face) "Is there something that you're not telling me?"

The Doctor. – "Well… some doctors think that this is 'surge'….

Alison. – "What is a surge?"

The Doctor. – "In many terminally ill patients, they have a final surge of energy… they get better before they get worse…"

Alison gulped. – "But this is not that… It can't be…"

The Doctor. – "Please don't worry… we will continue observing and taking care of your mom and now that she's conscious we will made some tests… we're doing our best to keep her alive…"

Alison nodded and decided to go to the church to pray

(In Emily's house)

Emily opened her eyes and they were very fluffy for so much crying. She went downstairs and someone knocked the door. She opened and tried to close it immediately when she noticed who was in the door but the other person didn't let her.

Noel. – "Fields! You're gonna hear me even if you don't want to!"

Emily. – "Leave Noel!"

Noel put more force in the door and got in the house.

Emily sighed. – "What do you want?!"

Noel. – "You know, for being a lady, you're really a dick!"

Emily was going to reply but Noel didn't let her.

Noel. – "I was shitless in the house because I got a stain in my t-shirt as I ate a donut… your girlfriend is a freaking crazy of cleaning and she washed it for me… even then… there is still some trace of the jelly in my t-shirt… look…"

Emily gulped, she didn't know what to say

Noel. – "Look I don't have any reason to lie to you or even to be here… but that is the truth!"

Emily. – "But she said…"

Noel. – "She's hurt! She's pushing you away because she's hurt! Damn it! You're a woman! How you can't see that!"

Emily. – "But what were you doing in her house…?"

Noel showed her a file. – "I'm working for her to do some digging in some persons and other stuffs… she want to protect what is hers…"

Emily. – "Is that it? Or there is something else?"

Noel signed. – "Look my business are my business, as far as I get pay, I accept it… ok… now, you can stay here and don't believe me or believe in her and ask for forgiveness to have her back…"

Noel took the file from Emily's hand and said before leaving.

Noel. – "You will not find someone as her never again Fields… so decide if you're going to fight for her or let her go… but in any case she deserves better than this… too much crap has happen in her life and she deserves better… and if you're not going to give it that to her, someone else will and you will regret it…"

He left and Emily immediately left to Alison's house.

(In the Church)

After praying, Alison was getting out of church and she saw Pam Fields getting some boxes from her car, the blonde approached to offer a hand.

Alison. – "Ms. Fields, let me help you…"

Pam. – "Just if you call me Pam…"

Alison gave her a little smile. – "Pam, can I help you?"

Pam nodded and said. – "Thank you my dear…"

They were walking towards the church and they started to talk.

Pam. – "I'm so sorry about everything that happened to you Ali… I have just words of gratitude to give you… thank to you… my Emy and the other girls were found… I wanted to say it earlier but…"

Alison. – "I'm sorry if I shut you off… It's not personal… I… I shut off a lot of people right now… I'm trying to get better but I need my space for that…"

Pam. – "I understand… but if you need anything please know that our home will be always open to you…"

Alison smiled. – "Thank you Pam…"

They put the boxes in one room and Alison got curious to know why there were so many boxes on it.

Alison. – "What are the boxes for…?"

Pam. – "We recollect some stuffs to do a sell garage, the money will help to do some reparations that need to be done in the church…"

Alison. – "I see… I will check if I have some stuff and bring them here…"

Pam. – "That will be very kind Ali… the sell garage will be this week-end so you have time to bring what you can… I bring my boxes earlier because I'm in charge to recollect the boxes of others from the community… I left one box in the car; I will be back in a second…"

Alison nodded and she stood there looking to the boxes, suddenly something called her attention, she put her hand in the box and grabbed her snow globe, the snow globe that was from her grandmother and that she gave to Emily. A tear appeared in her cheek. She heard Pam's footsteps and she put the snow ball in her bag. Alison avoided looking her in the eyes and she just left as soon as possible.

(In Alison's house)

Alison was arriving to her house and noticed that someone was in her porch waiting for her.

Alison got out of her car and kept her distance from the porch of the house.

Emily stood up and said. – "I need to talk to you…"

Alison. – "I thought we said everything we needed to say last time we saw each other…"

Emily. – "Ali… there a lot to talk…"

The brunette tried to approach but as soon as she was getting closer, Alison started to have flashes of the torture; memories of the supposed Emily torturing her, making her suffer, Alison put her hands in her head and started to do an exercise of breathing. The blonde was having an accelerated respiration and she was getting sweaty, she could feel how her blood was boiling for anger.

Emily concerned. – "Ali… Are you ok?"

Next Chapter: CH33