Chapter Twelve: Kagome's Story
Shippo was not a stupid kid and Sesshomaru learned that quickly, but the boy was still young and his head was filled with ideals. When Shippo asked Sesshomaru whether there was some sort of love he had toward Kagome, the man took a few moments to contemplate the best way of explaining things to a young demon boy. This extra time left Shippo wondering what the answer was. He couldn't come to any conclusions, but if the answer was yes, did Shippo have a new Dad now? If the answer was no, then why mark Kagome?
Before Sesshomaru allowed them to step close enough to the village where Inuyasha would grasp his scent, he stopped and stood in the stench of the swamp. He picked the child off his shoulder and set him down on a damp tree trunk. Sesshomaru admitted things about his Father's mating situation to Kagome before, so there was an understanding that he had of Shippo. He was also a young man at a time, wondering why his Father left and fell in love with another woman. Now, Sesshomaru was not aware of Shippo's situation with his biological parents, but his adoptive Mother was important to him.
"You need to understand something, Shippo." Sesshomaru spoke coldly, the young fox becoming nervous over this personal situation they were in, "I do not have love for your Mother."
"Oh, I see." Shippo's curious eyes met the muddy water below. He wasn't sad, but confused.
"I will not lie to you. She seems to be a strong willed and kind hearted human woman, but I am not one of the demons that would fall for a human." Sesshomaru explained, but in a gentler tone than he normally spoke, "I will protect her and you, as you are her son. Once her mark is removed, both of you will be free of me and I will be able to continue my life as I desire, not bound to my brother's comrades."
"Don't get me wrong, Sesshomaru." Shippo spoke up, his arms crossed, "I don't want you as a Dad."
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at the comment. It ended up offending him some, especially since the young boy was a full demon and probably the only one among them that he'd normally acknowledge, especially once the boy grew. He wasn't entirely sure how to handle such an insult.
"Now, how do I say this…" Shippo tapped at his chin and nodded, "You're really strong and really cool sometimes, but you are just as weak as you are strong. Does that make sense?"
"No." Sesshomaru stated, annoyed. Was he seriously being insulted by this child?
"What I mean is that your body is strong and you have all the muscles and lots of demonic power, but your heart is weak and I don't like that." Shippo explained, "You don't use it enough. People with strong hearts use them a lot. I guess it's like a muscle you exercise in a different way, you know? It's why you easily get mad when someone insults you, even if it's a joke. I also think it's why you will never beat Inuyasha. Heart matters a lot, in lots of things, and fighting is one of them. You know how many times Inuyasha has pulled all of us out of a super scary situation because he didn't want to lose us? When you care about someone, you learn to fight harder than before to keep them. Why do you think we all get out of things alive so much, even when things go really, really bad? It's because we have each other."
"I see." Sesshomaru replied.
"You don't have anyone, so if things go bad in a super hard fight and you get really hurt, who is going to care about coming to your aid?" Shippo asked and waited for the answer.
Sesshomaru stared at the boy, thinking about Rin and Jaken. Jaken was more cowardly than he often put on, though the imp wouldn't just let Sesshomaru die if there was a chance. However, in the situation Shippo described, Sesshomaru had no doubt that the imp would flee. Rin was a child, a human child with no training. She'd try and help or she'd run for help, likely getting killed in the process. But when Sesshomaru thought on the group he now traveled with, he thought through the multiple situations where they fought for each other. They trusted the others without hesitation and either came to each other's aid or knew strongly that the others would be alright, so they didn't have to worry.
"Couldn't think of anybody, could you?" Shippo asked, his eyes looking dully at Sesshomaru, "You think that's a good place to have a kid? I don't want my Momma to rely on you because she can't. I learned a long time ago that power isn't everything. Things go bad and the unexpected happens. You have to have faith in those around you and you don't. You wouldn't be a good dad. A strong dad, sure, but not good."
The silence between the two was only filled with stares. Sesshomaru was deep in thought and Shippo worried that his offensive words may have really angered the demon, but there was no real anger in Sesshomaru's eyes. The older demon was just figuring out his own conclusions.
"I have been alone my entire life. I don't expect to ever have a child of my own, so this is not a problem for me." Sesshomaru said this confidently, but Shippo looked at him in disbelief.
"If that's the case, your heart is even colder than Naraku's." Shippo said with a shrug, and realizing how insulting that was, slapped his hands over his mouth. If it were Inuyasha, Shippo would have gotten a punch to the head and a large bump, but Sesshomaru was a different and scarier story. When he wasn't struck, Shippo looked up at Sesshomaru to see a terrifying look in his eyes: sadness.
"Being scolded twice in one day about my personality is troublesome." Sesshomaru said and grabbed Shippo by the collar, picking the slightly frightened demon fox up and holding him in front of face. "First your Mother and now you. What the hell has my life become?"
"Can I say one more thing?" Shippo asked as he was set on Sesshomaru's shoulder.
"I'd prefer not." Sesshomaru replied.
"I'm gonna say it anyways." Shippo warned, smirking.
"I figured as much." Sesshomaru sighed.
"I may not want you to be my dad, but I like having more friends." Shippo leaned forward to look at Sesshomaru with a big smile, "If you stop being so mean all the time and try to care about all of us, you could have friends too. Real ones, not the ones that are only there because you're strong. Those are users, not friends. At least, that is what Kagome says and Kagome is really smart."
Shippo received no reply from Sesshomaru. The rest of their trip back to the village was silent, however, Shippo was very aware of what he had done. He was young, but wiser than people thought. He was used to messing with Inuyasha to make him feel guilty. He doubted Sesshomaru was much different.
.
.
Back at the swamp village, Kagome and the rest were trying their best to figure out how to get Shippo back. They knew little about their enemy and making it through a swamp at night was dangerous, so trying to force a fight may get them killed. Inuyasha offered to go himself, but that made the group wary since Sesshomaru explained just enough about this enemy that they could draw a few conclusions: it was powerful, had an army, and likely had a large lair. If Inuyasha was the only one to go, it was very possible that things could go wrong and the other three couldn't rescue him. Since Sesshomaru just vanished when they needed him, they were stuck until morning and that was stressful.
In the corner of the room, with her knees tucked tightly to her chest, Kagome was trying her best to keep calm. She was very anxious and felt like she was fighting panic attacks every passing second. Sango watched Kagome, sitting by Miroku's side, the only comfort was his hand firmly grasped in her own. Inuyasha seemed calm, but everyone knew he was worried for Shippo and Kagome. The group felt helpless and each of them wanted to charge the lair, but held back for the fox child's safety.
"Sesshomaru's back." Inuyasha announced.
At first, Inuyasha was annoyed, but when he caught the second scent, Inuyasha smirked and relaxed against the wall he was leaning on. Sango and Miroku looked to the door, awaiting Sesshomaru's arrival, but Kagome couldn't find herself to look up from the floor. Shippo's absence weighed her down.
Sesshomaru's light footsteps were heard once they hit the wooden steps that creaked. They all looked toward the door and watched as the demon lord slid it open. Sango and Miroku saw Shippo sitting on Sesshomaru's shoulder and smiled, but Kagome still never looked up from the ground.
"Momma?" Shippo called for her.
Hearing his voice, Kagome's eyes widened. She quickly looked up to see Shippo watching her worriedly.
"Are you okay?" Shippo asked.
Kagome rushed to her feet so quickly that they slipped out from under her once and she fell back to the ground. It didn't stop her though. She got back up and held her arms out for Shippo, who immediately jumped into her arms. She giggled and spun around with him in her arms, kissing his cheeks and forehead so many times that a modern child would thank the heavens she didn't wear lipstick.
"I'm fine now that you're back." Kagome said, nuzzling her cheek against Shippo's.
"So, you're not hurt?" Shippo asked.
"Nothing is broken. I'll be a little sore for a while though." Kagome explained.
Shippo stared at her since her words did not lessen his concern, but when she gave him a big happy smile, he couldn't help but cheer up and return her hug too. For a moment, everyone else just enjoyed the sight.
"So, that's where you went, hm?" Inuyasha said and stood up, "Went and got Shippo without us."
"Is that a problem?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Nope." Inuyasha shook his head and pat Sesshomaru on the shoulder, "Thanks. We owe you one."
Sesshomaru eyed Inuyasha's hand as his shoulder was touched, but did nothing. He was more surprised at the peaceful gesture than anything, though his expression remained indifferent. He nodded to his younger brother and looked to Kagome, who hadn't looked that happy in a long time. Even Sesshomaru couldn't help but be lifted some by the scene. And then she had to open her eyes and look at him.
"Do not. Yell at me. Again." Sesshomaru's hand shot up as a warning.
"I won't." Kagome smiled and set Shippo down, "Hopefully, there isn't a next time, but from now on, please don't run off on your own. You had me worried."
"Huh?" Sesshomaru audibly sounded baffled by that show of care for him.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you like I did." Kagome apologized sincerely, "I said some really rude things, and I'm not saying they weren't true, because they were. I just shouldn't have been so hostile. You're a part of our group now and that is what Sango was saying about friendship and understanding. I know you're not here by choice, but you are here. Soon, we'll all be fighting by each other's side, and I'm hoping," Kagome gave a semi-playful look to Inuyasha, who stuck his tongue out at her, before turning back to Sesshomaru, "That we can all work together and not want anyone here to die. If you leave us and say nothing, we won't know if you need help. Yes, you're strong and powerful, but sometimes we get unlucky. I'd rather we be there for each other as… comrades, since I think the word friend carries a little too much weight to it. Anyways, do you think you can forgive me for my behavior earlier, Sesshomaru? I really am sorry."
If Sesshomaru was to be completely honest, he thought he should have apologized to her. The way she yelled at him made him think he was wrong. He wasn't used to this group mentality. Being on equal footing with someone, at least socially, was unfamiliar territory. Even his brother wasn't being the regular pain in the ass he normally was. With everything that had come to light, he was welcome here and that was a fact he could not wrap his head around. His world was turned upside down.
"Yes." Sesshomaru said with a curt nod.
"Thank you." Kagome giggled and rushed forward, not really thinking, and giving the man a hug.
Sesshomaru raised his arms away from himself and tensed. He went to speak, but couldn't get any words out, however, his jaw stayed dropped. His mind went ten miles a second and he looked to his brother, of all people, for help. Seeing that triggered something in Inuyasha's mind. Inuyasha actually wanted to help Sesshomaru.
"Uh, Kagome." Inuyasha fought laughing, but did step forward to pull the girl away from him.
"What?" Kagome asked Inuyasha confused as she was pulled away.
"I doubt he's ready for a hug." Inuyasha said and then motioned to Sesshomaru.
Kagome looked to Sesshomaru, who's softened, but uncertain expression caused her to smile. He straightened his stance and cleared his throat. Before Sesshomaru could say whatever it was he had been planning to say, Sango suddenly freaked out and pointed at Kagome's stomach.
"Kagome, are you bleeding?" Sango asked worriedly.
Everyone looked to where Sango was pointing and saw a decent amount of blood on her shirt. Kagome pulled her shirt outward to get a good look at it.
"No, that's not me…" Kagome said and looked to Sesshomaru, "Are you hurt?"
"It'll be healed before morning." Sesshomaru explained.
"Let me see!" Kagome's demanded.
"Kagome, he heals better than I do. I'm sure he's fine." Inuyasha tried to calm her down.
Kagome knew Inuyasha was correct, but she didn't care about that. She wanted to see how badly he had gotten hurt in order to bring her son back. Kagome kept looking at him, her eyes pleading with the demon, so he sighed and dropped his armor, opening up his clothing to show her. She looked at the wound and saw that it was a full-blown hole through his stomach. It wasn't just a cut, but something had stabbed him through. It reminded her of quite a few of Inuyasha's previous injuries.
"Satisfied?" Sesshomaru questioned and redressed himself.
"Yeah…" Kagome nodded and smiled, "That's why we would have preferred going with you. Maybe we could have stopped whatever did that? I don't know if we actually could have, but it is a possibility."
"It is a good thing I went alone." Sesshomaru walked farther into the room and picked a place to sit down, "I was able to figure out where the lair is and weaken their defenses. Unfortunately, I could not free the humans stuck there, but I am aware of their location because of my visit. I doubt that, even with the boy back, you all will leave them to be eaten by Yomiaki and his men."
"You're right about that." Sango confirmed.
"Because of certain circumstances, I cannot take part of your plans." Sesshomaru brought up and looked to Kagome, "In order to return the child to you, I made a deal with Yomiaki. I will allow him to continue what he's been doing as long as he returned the boy and handed over these." Sesshomaru held up the two jewel shards he collected from the demon's lair, "However, the deal is with me, not any of you. Do as you wish to Yomiaki and his men, but I must stay behind. I will give you the knowledge I gained while there."
Sesshomaru held his hand out to Kagome. She took the two shards from him.
"Thank you, Sesshomaru." Kagome nodded and rummaged through her bag until she found a bottle. With these two, the two she originally had, and the one they got from the prince a while back, they were up to five again. It was nowhere near the number Naraku possessed, but better than none.
Sesshomaru took the next hour to explain to everyone the layout of Yomiaki's lair, the soldiers he knew were left, the location of the captured humans, and what powers Yomiaki displayed. Most of the group were able to catch on easily, but Inuyasha's impatience prevented him from understanding what he was being told. Sesshomaru began to get frustrated with his younger brother. It seems the art of war and strategy was only left to him when their father perished. After attempting to explain it two times more, Sesshomaru was done. He fought the urge to punch Inuyasha in the face and shook his head.
"If you don't understand it now, you never will." Sesshomaru said and looked to Miroku, "I'm sure you can guide this fool along as you go. Just be careful of Yomiaki's lieutenant. He seems unpredictable."
"I'm sure this will be easy enough with the information you've gathered. Thank you." Miroku nodded.
"Alright. Let's get going." Sango said, already ready for battle, "Kagome, you're staying here, right?"
"Yeah. It's safer that way, for everyone." Kagome replied.
"I will guard her and the boy." Sesshomaru said.
The other three took Kilala and went on their way. Before they left, Inuyasha was the last to leave the house. Kagome waved him goodbye and told him to be safe. She received a nod as a reply from him, but the worry he felt did not fade when his eyes met his brothers. He was not fond of leaving her with him, but he had to admit that this supernatural protection the mark provided was helpful. Inuyasha nodded to Sesshomaru and left the house, sliding the door closed behind him.
After a few seconds of silence, Kagome let out a long breath. Being left behind while the others went on a mission happened before, but it wasn't often. It was usually when she was guarding someone else that she was left alone. This time, it was because she was useless and sitting aside suited her better. Luckily, Shippo was with them, but the boy was so tired that he had been asleep for the last thirty minutes of the group meeting. She doubted he would wake up any time soon, so it was just her and him.
Sesshomaru adjusted himself as he sat there, moving away from the wall and choosing to lay back. He winced, a slight pain in his gut. He had taken many shots to the torso before, so it wasn't too bothersome. He knew it would heal within the next couple of hours, maybe before everyone returned.
"How are you feeling?" Kagome asked softly so she would not wake Shippo.
"I'm fine." Sesshomaru replied, glancing to see her curious face, "I've had larger wounds than this and they've all healed quickly. I doubt this injury will be any different."
"I know and that's good." Kagome nodded with a small smile.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes and relaxed. If it weren't for needing to be on guard, he might have allowed himself to sleep. Kagome watched him and assumed he had fallen asleep. His breathing was even and he looked quite peaceful. She found herself thinking about his appearance and realized that he was a handsome man. She knew it before, but it was easier to think about now. When his desire was to kill Inuyasha and sometimes her, seeing his attractiveness was hard. Sometimes, a person's personality really did impact how you saw them physically and this was a perfect example of that.
Kagome found herself examining him, or staring, depending on what point of view you'd be observing from. She became entranced by him as he laid there silently. What caught her attention most was the markings that made him so distinctive against other demons, the large fluff of fur over his right shoulder, and the beautiful silky silver hair that had grown long enough to reach his knees. These things made Kagome want to wake him up and ask questions, but what if he got mad at her?
As the silence poked at the back of her mind, her curiosity only amplified. She decided to touch the super soft scarf of fluff first. He wouldn't feel that and mission one would be complete! She slowly brought her hand over the fur and lightly ran her fingers across it. It was so soft and made her want to use it as a pillow. Then she chose to touch his hair, which was soft as well, but it was a different kind of soft. While the scarf was fluffy and comfortable, his hair was unnaturally silky.
"Damn demons and their perfect hair…" Kagome thought.
While Sesshomaru was laying there, he could feel the heat off of Kagome's body get closer, but didn't move a muscle. Was she watching him? Did she need him to sit up? It wasn't often that someone touched his Mokomoko. A demon of less self-control would have snapped at her. Instead, he laid silently and decided to see how far she'd go. Why he wanted to test this, he didn't know. When she touched his hair, he felt it too. It was just a few very small strands tugging at his scalp, but he felt it. What was she going to do next? If anything.
It was then that Kagome knew she was going to wake him up and grabbed his wrist. Sesshomaru jolted upwards and looked at her like she had gone crazy, but she paid him no mind. He chose not to pull his wrist away and just watching her run the tips of her fingers along the purple stripes. Her touch was gentle, and slightly tickled the surface of his skin. When she felt the change in texture, her eyes lit up and she smiled widely. Finally, she let his wrist go.
"What was that about?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Shh." Kagome said with a small smile, not wanting to wake Shippo, so she whispered "I knew I'd wake you up when I touched those markings, so I just grabbed you instead of trying to be super gentle."
"I wasn't asleep." Sesshomaru lowered his voice and Kagome's face turned a bright red, "I thought you were just being bold. It isn't often that someone touches the fur, let alone my body."
"Is that why you freaked out when I hugged you?" Kagome asked.
"I do not like being touched." Sesshomaru said, grabbing his own wrist and rubbing it.
"You don't like it or you're just not used to it?" Kagome asked him, implying there was a difference.
"You humans are bothersome." Sesshomaru sighed and shook his head.
"This has nothing to do with me being huma-... Well, maybe demons aren't as curious as we humans are, but that's because you're all used to having interesting abilities and cool markings like that." Kagome reached forward and touched his wrist again.
Sesshomaru grabbed her wrist and just held on. She looked down at his hand and then to him. She then tried to pull away, but he wasn't letting go. He was just watching her to see how she'd react.
"O-Okay, I get it. Please, stop." Kagome begged and he let go, "I shouldn't touch you without permission. I get it and I won't do that again. I just wanted to see what they were."
"You could have asked and you don't know what hair is?" Sesshomaru asked and let go.
"No, not that. Come on." Kagome rolled her eyes at that dumb question, "This fluffy thing is like a big cotton ball, except softer. Do you sleep on it?"
"At times. It is comfortable." Sesshomaru explained, but then looked her directly in the eyes, leaning in to get a little too close for her liking, "What has you so fascinated with me?"
"We married, Sesshomaru." Kagome replied bluntly and then glanced to Shippo to make sure he hadn't woken up, "Besides, I would never say this in front of the others, but I have come to accept that you've seen every single part of me. There isn't much more to hide between us at that point."
Sesshomaru went to refute that statement of hers, but realized that it was true. Even though he had no memory of his more violently intimate actions, he had woken up on top of her and nude. He remembered everything about the sight, from the curves of her hips to the shape of her breasts. Unfortunately, thinking back to that day left little to enjoy. Her reason for being nude was dreadful and the bruises and scrapes he caused tainted the view.
"I guess you're right." Sesshomaru realized as he pushed it all from his mind, "I don't think a woman has ever seen me in that state."
"And until then, I never intentionally showed anyone all of me either." Kagome said a little annoyed and disgusted at the thought, but shook it off when she remembered something, "Well, there was a time Inuyasha got to see my chest, but he was rescuing me from this sage who had me soaking in this gross herbal bath. It was just a glance though, but knowing him, he hasn't forgotten it."
"A sage had you soaking in an herbal bath?" Sesshomaru asked and she nodded, "How?"
With that came a second moment that Kagome realized another piece of Sesshomaru's personality. When shown or told something interesting, if you're not an enemy, he wanted to know the tale. Kagome ended up explaining everything about her fateful night in Togenkyo, which led to more questions about Inuyasha's night of the new moon, meeting Miroku and seeing his Wind Tunnel, Sango being manipulated by Naraku using her brother, and so much more. They talked until the rest of the group returned. Well, Kagome talked and Sesshomaru asked a few questions and listened. It wasn't often that someone was interested in her and her stories, so she couldn't stop once she started.
"And every time he shows up now, Inuyasha wants to fight him." Kagome explained, rolling her eyes at the story, "Koga means well, but he just hasn't gotten the picture. I'm not interested in being with him."
"I believe I've met this man." Sesshomaru said, "Does he travel with two incompetent loud mouths?"
"Well, I wouldn't call them incompetent, but they're definitely loud." Kagome giggled softly.
"He aided me in protecting Rin at a time." Sesshomaru said, remembering Koga jump over him to kick a demon away from Rin, "Now I know why he was quicker than I was at the time. He has two of these jewel shards, one for each leg, correct?"
"Uh'huh." Kagome confirmed.
"I see. I still have no need for such a thing." Sesshomaru said, glancing to the small vial of shards.
"I don't think anyone should need them… They only bring pain to those who use it." Kagome explained sadly, "Koga got them and some of the clans were slaughtered. It's why we don't use them unless absolutely necessary. I ended up using it once when Kikyo and I were trapped inside a demon."
"Why are you always in danger?" Sesshomaru suddenly asked, this knew knowledge frustrating him.
"Heh, well, I travel the country all the time, and I do admit to running off sometimes, but the fact is I am a human, and bad things do happen. Luck isn't always on my side." Kagome shrugged casually, "It's why I have people like Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo to have my back. When things do go wrong, I can count on them to save me. And me being able to count on them like that, it makes me want to fight for them even more. It's strange, you know, wanting to fight for another's well-being."
"Is that not normal for you?" Sesshomaru asked.
"It is now, but it wasn't always." Kagome shook her head, "You saw a little of how my time was. We're not fighting like this. There aren't day-to-day encounters where you have to fight to survive. You don't build up this mentality for battle and glory unless you intentionally enlist in an military. For the most part, regular people live in peace and there is a… sort of working system to keep that going."
"Sort of?" Sesshomaru asked another question.
"Well, yeah. Sort of. It's a complicated thing that you really don't want to get int-…"
"THEY'RE BACK." A man's voice echoed throughout the village.
"What's happening?" Shippo sat up, rubbing his eyes as he just woke.
"I think everyone has returned. We should go welcome them." Kagome said and held her arms out to Shippo. The young fox hopped into her arms and Kagome stood up. He was still mostly asleep, so he laid his head on Kagome's chest and tried his best to wake. Kagome was going to rush out of the door with Shippo, but turned to Sesshomaru to extend an invite. "You coming?"
"I'd prefer to stay here, if that's alright." Sesshomaru requested.
"Of course. Get your rest." Kagome nodded and stepped out of the hut. As she closed the door, she stared at it for a moment. Sesshomaru was different than she thought, or he was changing. She didn't know which one it was, but she figured it was more that she was getting to know him. The demon she saw on the battlefield every time they ran across each other just wasn't there right now. He was more level-headed. It probably helped that she wasn't shooting arrows at him and breaking his armor.
"Mom?" Shippo pulled Kagome from her thoughts.
"Oh, right." Kagome realized she was mindlessly standing there and ran off.
Once Kagome closed the door, Sesshomaru watched the moon cast as silhouette if Kagome's figure on the door. She wasn't moving. She stayed for a few moments before the boy got her attention. Hearing the stories of her adventures was interesting. So many demons just passed him by, even bowed when he came through, that he never had anything truly exciting unless it was a special occasion. She wasn't ever safe and she was okay with that, even though her power wasn't strong enough to prevent anything from happening to her. She counted on those around her, not just herself, and it made her stronger? No, that's not what she said. It made her want to be stronger for them. Intriguing.
