Chapter Sixteen: Mortality

Sesshomaru had every intention of letting Sango and Kagome talk. It would have been fine if Kagome didn't just keep running. While Inuyasha and Miroku stood in silence, he could sense Kagome getting further away. Sesshomaru gave in and chased.

"Hey, let them talk!" Miroku called out after Sesshomaru, but was ignored.

"Let him go. I need to talk to you, Miroku." Inuyasha said, catching Miroku's interest.

"Oh? What about?" Miroku asked curiously. Inuyasha never wanted to talk privately.

"Do you remember how when all of this started, Kagome told me that she was moving on to take her own path?" Inuyasha said, speaking of the night that Sesshomaru returned Kagome to them after the attack.

"I recall that, yes…" Miroku eyed Inuyasha suspiciously.

"I think she is…" Inuyasha lowered his head sadly. "I think she really is falling for my brother."

"Inuyasha, I doubt that." Miroku said and Inuyasha turned to face Miroku with an expression that showed he disagreed. "I… She's traveled with you so long. I doubt she'll let a couple of months… I mean… Do you really think she'd fall for him?"

"I do and I can't blame her. He… treats her better than I do." Inuyasha sighed as he sat down. "He doesn't yell at her like I always do and they talk all the time. I see how happy she gets when he asks her questions about herself. Did you know her favorite color is blue? I never did."

"I thought it'd be green, like that outfit she usually wears." Miroku scratched at his cheek.

"I heard him ask her that. It feels like such a stupid question, but apparently it was important to her." Inuyasha said in frustration. "I never thought it was important. What's the point of having a favorite color? Who cares, right? Well, Kagome does and I never paid attention to that.

"And how do you feel about this, Inuyasha?" Miroku asked and Inuyasha shrugged. "You don't seem too upset."

"That's the thing… I'm not that upset. I thought I'd be pissed off, but even when I was fighting with Koga, it felt fake. Maybe not fake, but more unnecessary." Inuyasha lowered his head again, unsure of what to feel. "My relationship with Kagome has always been off because of Kikyo. I was jealous of Sesshomaru at first and sometimes I still feel that way, but as time goes on that jealousy is fading, and I am more interested in getting to know my brother than being with Kagome."

"I must admit that the relationship you have with Kagome is strange. I fear that any attraction you two may have had to one another had to do with her resemblance to Kikyo. And it is also possible that the constant exposure to each other made it feel more natural." Miroku explained as he leaned against a tree and looked up to the cloudy sky. "I have asked myself whether she'd feel the same way about you if Koga was traveling with us. Instead of Koga, however, it ended up being your brother and it has created a similar scenario. Kagome is a young human girl, fickle in many ways. It is possible that the only reason you two thought of being together was out of some twist of friendship. You're always together as friends, so the next step is obvious."

"She always said she wanted to be with me." Inuyasha added.

"Did she ever say that she loves you?" Miroku asked.

"If she did, it wasn't to me." Inuyasha shook his head.

"I guess we'll see where this all goes then." Miroku shrugged and looked up to the clouds in the sky. "It may end up that she does fall for your brother, which will allow you and Kikyo to come together again without problem."

"This is stupid. Stop talking." Shippo suddenly spoke up. The two had forgotten he was there. When they looked over to him, Shippo had tears falling down his face and was wiping them away. "Momma isn't gonna fall for him. He doesn't care about her. It's just the stupid mark!"

"Shippo… I, uh." Inuyasha sighed.

"You just want that to happen so you can run off with Kikyo." Shippo yelled angrily at Inuyasha, his entire body trembling in anger. "That's fine. I don't care. Go with Kikyo. You don't deserve to be with my Momma anyway. You're… You're just a jerk, Inuyasha! You too Miroku!"

Shippo wiped more tears from his eyes. Miroku and Inuyasha didn't know what to say and their silence bothered Shippo more. The young fox demon turned away and ran off, sobbing into the air. Miroku tried calling out to him, but being ignored was a trend today.

"Should we go after him?" Miroku asked.

"No." Inuyasha looked away from Miroku and stared off into the distance to think.

"What the hell has been going on since Lord Sesshomaru left us at the castle?" Jaken, who had witness this entire debacle, shouted suddenly.

.

.

Kagome ran until her foot slid under a raised tree root and her body flung forward hitting the ground with a hard thud. She slid through the dirt before coming to a stop. She didn't even try to push herself up. Kagome laid there until she heard some footsteps rushing up behind her. She looked back with fear until she recognized the woman that came through the trees. Kagome pushed herself up to her feet and ran at Sango to hug her.

"Sango, I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Kagome told her, clinging to her friend tightly. "I thought I was doing okay, but I'm not."

"It's okay." Sango said softly as she brushed Kagome's hair with her hand. "You're still confused about Sesshomaru, aren't you?"

"Yes. It's been less than three months and I keep…" Kagome wiped tears from her eyes. "I keep feeling connected to him. No, that's not right. It's like I have a crush on him."

"A crush? What's that mean?" Sango curiously asked. Both the girls heard something off in the trees and turned to look. They saw nothing there, so they turned back to each other and continued the conversation.

"It's a phrase from my time. It means I'm attracted to him and want to go out on a date." Kagome explained. "It's not fully falling for him, but it's more than just friends."

"A date? That's that thing you wanted me to ask Miroku to do, right?" Sango asked.

"Yeah, it's just when you take some time to be alone together and get to know each other." Kagome explained again, her cheeks tinted red. "It's supposed to be romantic and fun, but even if I were to ask Sesshomaru for something like that, he'd never say yes. He's kinder now and very helpful. Everyone enjoys having him around, but that doesn't mean that he'll be romantically interested in me. I am human after all."

"I was worried this would happen." Sango sat down and gestured for Kagome sit down next to her.

"I know. I can't help it." Kagome sat down next to Sango. "I'm scared that I'm falling for someone that won't like me because of what I was born as. I didn't choose to be human."

"Kagome, are you sure you want to be with a demon anyway?" Sango asked.

"It doesn't matter to me. I don't care if the one I love is a demon, half-demon, or human." Kagome shrugged, showing a soft smile. "I just want them to love me and understand that I love them. I want them to want to be with me, not some other woman, ya know?"

"You're talking about Inuyasha and Kikyo again, aren't you?" Sango asked.

"Yeah. Inuyasha doesn't want me. He wants Kikyo and that's obvious." Kagome said. "So, why try to be with someone who doesn't want you?"

"You said it yourself; Sesshomaru probably doesn't want you either." Sango said a little too bluntly.

"Yeah, I know." Kagome sighed and brought her knees to her chest, pressing her face into her arms. "Maybe I should have just gone with Koga."

"Yeah, right." Sango just laughed at that idea. "Koga is not the type of guy for you. Not only have you never even been attracted to him, but he's going to marry Ayame and just admitted that he knew you weren't interested. Any feelings he may have had are gone."

"What do I do, Sango?" Kagome asked desperately. "I'm scared."

"Honestly? Give it more time." Sango told her. "The worst thing that can happen is you go for it, he says yes because of the mark, and then once the mark has been removed, suddenly he's running off to live his life while you're broken hearted and watching Kikyo and Inuyasha do mushy stuff. I told you before that a couple of months of interest is not something worth damaging a possible strong relationship over."

"I know, but I don't think I want to be with Inuyasha." Kagome raised her head up and sighed. "He's… just a friend."

"Just a friend…" Sango took in a deep breath. "Things are changing if you can so confidently say that."

"Yeah, they are." Kagome nodded. "They really are."

"We should get back before they freak out." Sango said and stood up, dusting herself off. "Time, Kagome. Everything needs time."

"You're right." Kagome took a deep breath and stood up as well, following Sango back toward the group. There was a lot she had to think about, but there was too much to do before she figured any of it out. First things first: retrieve Kikyo and Rin from Naraku.

As the girls left the area, a certain hidden silver haired demon made sure he wasn't caught. Sesshomaru hid himself behind a large tree, and as they passed, he maneuvered around the opposite way so they wouldn't see him. There was a little too much information revealed in their conversation for Sesshomaru to be comfortable showing that he had been standing there listening to them. He'd embarrass them and himself. Kagome's explanations had his mind wandering. A date? Romance? A crush? Was she really getting over Inuyasha in preference for him?

Sesshomaru stood silently as he thought about what Kagome admitted and the previous weeks played through his mind. Kagome had come to rely on him, to trust him as she did the rest of her friends. They talked on personal levels a lot and he had found himself interested in her as an individual. Something Kagome said a day or so ago, "If you are able to get beyond our circumstances of birth, I'd love it if you stuck around even after the mark is gone." Sesshomaru had to admit to himself that these humans were stronger, more intelligent, and more reliable than others. For humans, they were impressive, especially when compared to the common dirty farmers that plagued most of the land. They took their lives and did something better with them, something he could respect. However, they did not choose to be human. It was a circumstance of birth, no different than his own.

"I have a lot to think on." Sesshomaru thought and turned his attention back in the direction of the group. As he went to head back, he caught a familiar scent. "What is that child up to now?"

Sesshomaru darted off in a different direction. While his instincts told him to follow Kagome, Shippo was an important part of her life and therefore must be protected. He caught up to the child quick, catching him as he was running through some trees. With a single leap, Sesshomaru hopped in front of Shippo and swooped him up by the back of his shirt.

"HEY!" Shippo yelled, both startled and angry at whoever stopped him. Once he realized it was Sesshomaru, he calmed down and quickly wiped any evidence of tears from his face. Of course, Sesshomaru knew he was crying anyway.

"What's wrong?" Sesshomaru asked with true concern for the boy, setting him down on his shoulder.

"Nothing. I'm fine." Shippo insisted, but Sesshomaru wasn't having it. The two had a stubbornness stare down for a good thirty seconds before Shippo crossed his arms and gave in. "Inuyasha… He… I think that… I don't know anymore." Shippo wiped more tears from his face.

"Did he hit you again?" Sesshomaru asked.

"No, he's talking bad about Momma." Shippo said and caught the instant irritation from Sesshomaru. "Not that kind of bad. He's just… I heard him talking to Miroku about how Momma likes you instead of him and that means he can be with Kikyo without Momma getting mad."

"Oh, my god." Sesshomaru let the frustration-filled phrase slip from his lips as he placed a hand over his face in annoyance. Shippo watched the demon curiously, wondering what that reaction meant. Sesshomaru couldn't leave the child in suspense too long, so he sighed and looked at Shippo. "Your friends are a frustrating group. It's been less than three months since this all began. Their minds change too quickly for my liking."

"What do you mean?" Shippo tilted his head curiously.

"Your Mother wants this date thing. Inuyasha wants my approval. Miroku and Sango are acting mature about the situation, but are still supporting this sudden shift in mindset toward me. I do not understand how trust can be gained so quickly among humans." Sesshomaru vented to the child, probably something he'd regret later, but it wasn't like he had anyone else to talk to and Shippo wouldn't understand everything.

"You know why that is, right?" Shippo asked and Sesshomaru shook his head. "They die quickly. I learned that because humans die quickly, their views of life and everything in it changes just as quickly. They do not have five hundred years to deal with everything. Many of them barely get thirty, so they have to stuff all kinds of emotions and thoughts and friends and people all into that short amount of time."

"You're a smart child." Sesshomaru was surprised by his wisdom and sincerely complimented the boy. He hadn't thought of that before, but it made sense. "I can see why my Father could accept them like he did. They're much more dynamic than any demon I've ever met."

"Does my Momma like you?" Shippo asked to bring the subject back to his own worries.

"I do not know." Sesshomaru sighed.

"Do you like her? What about without that mark?" Shippo asked.

Sesshomaru stared at the child. He could tell that it wasn't just worry that Shippo was feeling. He was terrified, but Sesshomaru wondered why.

"Why are you so scared, boy?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I'm not scared!" Shippo retorted, sniffling back tears.

"Do not lie to me. You're terrified and I cannot tell of what." Sesshomaru called him out on it.

"I thought Inuyasha was going to be my new dad. Now it might be you and I don't think you love Momma, so you won't love me either." Shippo jumped down off of Sesshomaru's shoulder and faced away from him. "I don't want a Dad that doesn't love me. My dad has to love me and Momma."

"Contrast to humans, things are changing too quickly for you, aren't they?" Sesshomaru asked and saw a small nod from Shippo. "This is also my struggle with these creatures. Inuyasha can handle it because he was raised among them, but you and I have difficulty keeping up. You worry about whether I could love you and your mother. I worry about how easily her mind could change if another comes along. I've been here a short amount of time and she already sees me in some romantic light. She trusts and relies on me like I've been there for years. Next year, she could have a completely new interest. Then there are the issues of aging. Fifty years from now, I will look the same and she will likely have died. Would the few years she and I could possibly have together be worth the centuries of loneliness and pain that comes from losing her to the mortality of being human?"

Sesshomaru's quiet rant went on longer than he meant to. He definitely didn't mean to let all of that out on a child like Shippo. When he realized he had been talking for so long, he looked down to the boy. Shippo was staring in awe at Sesshomaru, jaw dropped and eyes wide.

"What?" Sesshomaru regained his composure quickly.

"So, you do like Momma." Shippo hopped back onto Sesshomaru's shoulder. "You obviously think about her a lot. The mark may force you to protect her, but it doesn't force you to think about her… Wait, does it? What all does marking Momma make you do?"

"Protect her from any physical harm. I can sense her location at all times. I can also sense shifts in her heart." Sesshomaru said, but got a confused look from the boy. "For example, she stopped me from killing Koga when she realized Inuyasha was trying to trick me into harming him. I was able to sense her fear and reacted accordingly to her desires."

"So, what happens if she really wants to hug you?" Shippo asked, wondering how far the mark went.

"I have yet to sense something like that and she has a habit of embracing me whenever she feels like it." Sesshomaru admitted, but Shippo instantly took that information way too far and the expression the boy showed proved it. "Damn it. Stop talking. I've said way too much tonight."

"You've said a lot, but I don't think it was too much." Shippo smiled and sat down on Sesshomaru's shoulder instead of standing. "You're getting a lot better. Remember how I said you don't use your heart and you have to so it gets stronger?"

Sesshomaru nodded.

"Well, it's working. I like having you around." Shippo pat the top of Sesshomaru's head.

"Let's get you back to your mother." Sesshomaru sighed and hurried off toward the group.

As Sesshomaru and Shippo got closer, the two of them could hear shouting from beyond the trees. As they reappeared near the group, Kagome and Inuyasha were at each other's throats, shouting over something new. Miroku and Sango moved away from the two arguing and watched from afar.

"It's not my fault Shippo ran off! He's your kid, why didn't you take him with you?" Inuyasha crossed his arms and turned his back to Kagome.

"I was kind of in the middle of breaking down! You couldn't have just watched him for a few minutes! We weren't gone that long!" Kagome shouted.

"I was talking to Miroku! The kid got upset. You go look for him!" Inuyasha yelled back.

"What the hell were you two talking about that could upset Shippo enough to run off?" Kagome asked, her voice still raised.

"That's none of your business! It was guy talk and stuff." Inuyasha yelled again.

"Will you two shut up?" Sesshomaru suddenly spoke up, catching everyone's attention. "The boy is just fine."

"Yeah, I'm right here." Shippo waved and hopped off of Sesshomaru's shoulder into Kagome's arms.

"Shippo!" Kagome embraced and kissed his cheek. "You need to stop running off like that."

"You ran off first." Shippo pouted.

"Yeah, you're right." Kagome sighed and laid her cheek on Shippo's head. "I'm sorry about that. It won't happen again. I promise."

"Then, I promise too." Shippo gave his mother a tight hug and then smiled really big.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" An irritating voice rang out from the group. Jaken stepped up to Sesshomaru and eyed his demon lord curiously.

"What is it, Jaken?" Sesshomaru replied.

"You've marked Kagome?" Jaken asked him and Sesshomaru stayed silent. However, Jaken could see it in Sesshomaru's eyes that the subject was upsetting to him. What worried Jaken the most was that it wasn't anger he saw. When Sesshomaru showed emotion toward him, it was always anger or irritation of some sort. Right now, it was worry and shame that he could see in Sesshomaru's eyes. While Jaken was not stupid and instantly figured out that the binding of his master and Kagome was likely done through erroneous means, the newly found human-like expressions he could see so clearly in someone like Sesshomaru bothered him more. Jaken took a deep breath and sighed, making it clear to Sesshomaru that he understood. "I see. This ordeal has changed you, milord, and I am not yet sure whether it is for better or worse. However, I will follow you to death no matter any misdeeds."

"Thank you, Jaken." Sesshomaru took in a deep breath.

"Of course, milord." Jaken laid his staff on his shoulder and kept to himself.

"We need to get moving." Sesshomaru decided and the group got ready to head back. However, with the extra amount of time they had found themselves with thanks to finding Koga so quickly, they did not have to rush. The group took their time and calmly made their way back toward Sesshomaru's castle. During their travels, Shippo did his best to get to know Jaken while the rest came up with a plan.