I'm baaaaaaccccck! Sorry this took so long, life has gotten in the way of so much. The good news is I have a new job! The bad news is less time to write, but don't think I've forgotten about you, fellow Panthers. This story ain't over yet, so enjoy!
Something wasn't right. Clare hadn't been herself all day. She seemed distant, like there was something she was trying to avoid. Eli was fairly certain that he hadn't done anything wrong, but then again, he could be very stupid without realizing it. As he watched Clare wash the dishes in the kitchen sink, he wondered what was bothering her so much and trying to figure out ways to make her feel better. Eli settled on closing his laptop on his final paper (which he hardly even started) and making his way over to Clare. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed the back of her neck and breathed in her lavender shampoo.
"Eli…" Clare started.
"I don't know if it's something I did, and if it is I am so sorry, but I can tell you've been really sad all day, and I want to make you feel better," Eli said as he traced circles around Clare's belly.
"I'm not sad, I'm stressed," stated Clare.
"Then allow me to help you de-stress," Eli purred into her ear. "We can binge-watch Game of Thrones or Hell's Kitchen and eat all the ice cream. Or we can just cuddle and talk...maybe fool around a bit…."
"No, Eli-"
"Aw, fooling around always makes you feel better-"
"Eli please," Clare said, turning off the faucet and spinning around to face him. "Just stop." Eli noticed her eyes were glossy, as if she were about to start crying.
"Hey," he started gently. "Clare, what's going on? Are you okay?" Clare shook her head softly as she stared at her feet.
"...I'm late," she whispered. "Really late." Eli felt his heart stop and his stomach plummet to his feet.
"Are-are you sure it's not just... I don't know, stress, or-"
"No, it's been on schedule for months, until now," said Clare, looking back into Eli's eyes with tears silently coming down. "And I didn't want you to worry but… for the last few days I've been feeling really sick."
"Oh my God," gasped Eli, grasping onto her in case his knees gave way. "Have you taken a test yet?"
"I didn't want to know the answer."
"Clare, this is serious," Eli said. "You need to know, we need to know." By now Clare was fully crying and shaking slightly with fear.
"And if I am?" she asked between gasps. "Eli I-I can't go through this again." She curled into him and felt his arms wrap tightly around her.
"You don't know it's going to happen again," he said reassuringly. "We don't even know if you're really pregnant." He paused, trying to ignore the fact that the word still left an odd taste in his mouth. "Clare listen to me, you have to take a test. Tonight."
One trip to CVS and a few tissues later, the pair sat on the bathroom floor hand in hand, dreading the answer that awaited them on the sink.
"I don't want to get an abortion," Clare stated suddenly. "It's like my doctor said, it's almost impossible to conceive after cancer. I already lost one baby because of it all, I don't want to lose another, I just don't know what to do."
"Clare, what happened to Little Adam was one of the worst things that have ever happened to us," Eli said, wiping away her tears. "But it is possible to carry a child after cancer, it might not happen again."
"Eli, I am so scared," sighed Clare.
"I know," he replied, kissing her forehead. "I am too. But let's not panic until we know for sure." The alarm on Clare's phone began to go off and the two held their breath.
"You ready?" Eli asked.
"No. Are you?"
"No." Wiping away tears, Clare reached up to the sink and took the pregnancy test in hand. With one final look at each other, she flipped it over to reveal…
…
"Holy shit."
You didn't think I was going to make things easy, did you?
