Greetings, fellow Overlord Fans! As I've been getting excited for the new season to drop, I've been re-reading the Light Novels, and I wondered about one moment in Momonga's arc in Vol 14. I know why (narratively) the writer decided to direct the story this way, but I can't help but wonder: what if Ainz managed to steer the conversation differently? Basically, I'm seeing a version of Fall of the Kingdom arc where we get to see Albedo, Climb, Sebas, and Princess Renner see more action and screen-time, with less military destruction and more intrigue. If that sounds fun to you, read on. I start with a short section excerpted straight from Vol 14, with a line break where I break off from canon. Enjoy!
And of course: I own nothing of this Intellectual Property, this is a parodic original work. All rights to the Overlord franchise belong to someone else.
How have they still not figured out the truth that he's incompetent? Was he really that good at acting?
Much time had passed since he came to this world as the overlord of Nazarick. He had been operating as their overlord this entire time. They should have seen through his 'overlord' disguise already, they should have seen through the useless nature of Satoru by now.
The conversation continued on as he agonized over this.
"So, in keeping with Ainz-sama's wishes, we will not be punishing the whole of the Kingdom. However, we can't just let them get away with a light punishment. We will also have to put the plan on pause or abandon it entirely for now. At the very least, it will require major deviations."
Ainz couldn't help but feel a great sense of guilt at the fact that his words held such prominence in their minds.
"…. So that was why. But Demiurge, did the plans really fail this time?"
Demiurge, Albedo, and their assistant in the Kingdom possessed an incomprehensible level of genius in Ainz's perspective. Would the plan that was the culmination of their minds truly fail? If that was the case, he must keep in mind what he says to them from this point onward. It would probably be best if he kept his mouth shut from now on. So, just in case, he asked again,
"Are we really abandoning our plans? The Candy and Whip plan?"
"..."
Demiurge looked towards Ainz with a bewildered expression, he had seen this expression on numerous occasions. It was the expression he had made when he was trying to figure out the true meaning behind his words as if they were all euphemisms said by a being on a completely different level of brilliance.
{Wrong. Demiurge. I'm just trying to reaffirm what you've said. There are no hidden layers of meanings. You should chill out by taking a bath first.}
These thoughts disappeared right as Ainz was about to give voice to them.
Just as an unpleasant premonition surfaced in his mind, just as Ainz had expected, Demiurge stood aghast as if he had just had a sudden realization.
"...No wait, could it be...Ainz-sama. Could it be that you have had the same intention back when you immaculately brought the Empire under our dominion?"
His premonitions were right on the target.
{What is he saying?}
Ainz started ranting towards Demiurge in his mind, {what kind of a thought process would lead you to that conclusion?}
{'No, that's not that case at all,' would be the best response, right? But would that response really be appropriate?}
_
He should hedge his bets… figure out what Demiurge was thinking before he blindly agreed to anything. Ulbert's creation was hyper-intelligent, but terrifying sometimes. Ains had just returned from an extended campaign of Demiurge's design, after all, where they'd basically decimated two nations just for some good PR.
"Demiurge, I grow tired of guessing at what you think you know," Ainz faked a theatrical sign, holding his voice in reserve. "Explain."
He felt a little bad for treating Demiurge so pedantically, as though the demon were a misbehaving child, but Ains had lost control of the conversation and desperately needed time and information to get it back.
"Ah, of course," Demiurge bowed his head in apology, instantly humbled. "For one who's plans are so lofty, my understanding of them would be questionable at best. Very well," he straightened and reach to adjust his necktie.
"If the Candy and whip strategy is still in effect, my assumption is that you've arranged to use each of our two neighboring nations as an example of each. The Empire, which bowed to us with only minor hesitation, is given the candy of your protection and peaceful rule."
At this point, Demiurge turned to face the rest of the guardians, his back to Ains as his excitement built.
"Then, the Kingdom has volunteered to demonstrate to the world the power of our great master… they oppose him first on the battlefield, then obstruct our humanitarian efforts. They will be struck by the Sorcerous Kingdom's armies, utterly shattered and cast to ruin as a warning to other nations: Take the candy, or be whipped!"
Demiurge threw his arms out wide in excitement as he concluded, the other guardian's clamoring in awe as Ain's metaphorical jaw dropped.
"A brilliant strategy!"
[What the- I never-]
"Truly. Astounding."
[Cocytus!? Aren't you at least a little positive-karma?!]
"Unglaublich!"
[Damnit, I said no German! No wait, not the issue right now, how to I get out of this?!]
Ainz let out one of his lesser-used, rehearsed stalls… a deep sigh. He closed his eyes to focus, though he could feel the guardians turning to him as the murmured praises cut off suddenly…
"At least," Demiurge's voice lost some of it's former enthusiasm, and Ainz could almost swear he heard something new in the guardian's tone… nervousness. "This is what I divine of our master's plan based on the facts available."
Ainz was silent, the pressure to respond scrambling his brain as he searched for a response.
The pressure of the silence, however, prompted Demiurge to continue.
"The evidence aligns, at least. Our master bringing the Baharuth Empire to heel without bloodshed, initiated by the Emperor himself, to wit! Surely the nations will see how the greatest of the local leadership voluntarily bows to a greater sovereign. The work he's done to bring recognized countries into alliance: the Dwarves and the Holy Kingdom…. With their blessing on our declaration of war, no foreign power can claim us to be unjustified. We may even use such a declaration to make political outreach and inroads with other nations… the Draconic Kingdom comes to mind."
[Could it really be that easy?]
Ainz wanted to voice his uncertainty, but he was worried to contradict Demiurge and end up debating… he'd surely be shown inferior if he did…
Still he had his doubts. [He's suggesting we destroy a country… that I'd want to destroy a country over one fool stealing grain… if I were some other country and I heard of that… would I see it the way Demiurge does? Maybe… if I were weak and afraid, that would work. But what if I were a strong individual, or a government with access to a secret weapon?]
His eyes flashed open with realization, inspiration striking.
Belatedly, he realized he'd worked himself into a corner… he couldn't agree with Demiurge, but he still didn't have an alternative plan…
And all the guardians were staring at him, anticipating an answer.
Ainz panicked, and hummed to himself as he stalled.
[Okay, what problems am I working with? First, Demiurge's plan won't work… because I'm not willing to risk aggravating unknown powerful people outside who will see the whip as too harsh, and the candy not sweet enough.]
Glancing over them, his gaze rested on Demiurge.
[But they don't see it that way… I can use this!]
"It won't work."
Eyes went wide around the room, guardians glancing between each other in shock. A gasp was silenced too late by a Pleiade somewhere in the back.
Demiurge's brow furrowed, frowning for a half second before his eyes widened again and he fell to a knee in genuflection.
"My apologies Great one!" he lowered his head so far it was below his knee. "As expected of a peerless intele-"
"Silence."
Immediately Demiurge fell silent, falling from on one knee to put both knees and his brow to the floor in swift, silent apology. The rest of the guardian's backs stiffened as Ainz gathered himself up, straightening his shoulders and sweeping the room with his gaze.
Suzuki Satoru was not a peerless genius, but Demiurge's "revelation" made him realize something: the powerful difference between him and the NPC's.
[They've never known anything but power… but I've been weak. I know how people think when they're backed into a corner, and I don't assume I'll be the strongest person in the room.]
They also saw him basically as a God, and assumed others not from Nazarick ought to immediately do so as well.
The guardian's acted in complete assurance because they assumed him all-knowing and powerful enough to conquer anything that came up. Either it was part of Ainz-sama's plan, or he would squash it… Anything that resisted was blind to his "rightful authority" over the world and deserved to be crushed.
It was a dangerous mindset that would lead to more problems down the road if he didn't address it now.
This was a role he was more familiar with, actually. As his eyes swept the room he called up the images of his old friends super-imposed over their NPC's, and a few others came to mind in the spaces between.
Ains Ool Gown was a powerful guild, and at its heights Momonga was often called upon to reign in the aggressive instincts and ambitions of its collective members… particularly individuals like Ulbert Alain Odle- Demiurge's creator.
It probably wasn't a coincidence.
Ainz had been silent too long, collecting himself, but finally he spoke.
"Demiurge, are you familiar with the curses of knowledge and power?"
One of the guild's members had brought up the phrase "the curse of knowledge" to describe how he played psychological games with his opponents before duels, setting up advantages by playing on what his enemy knew. He had doppelganger classes, and partially inspired Momonga when creating Pandora's Actor.
His strategy was not to design his build and gear to fight his opponent, but to plan for how his opponent would plan for him. For example, he'd often go challenge a player in another guild to a duel while shifted into a demon, then as soon as the duel began he'd switch to an angelic form. All his opponent's preparation to fight a demon would be immediately become a handicap, and the gaps left in their defenses against holy magic- which nobody would anticipate from a demon- would allow him to overcome a disadvantage in raw power.
He cursed his enemies by giving them false information, then took advantage of weaknesses created when they acted accordingly.
Demiurge however, could not reflect on any of this before he answered. "I'm sorry, my lord, that magic is foreign to me. Please, enlighten your humble servant."
Ainz chuckled intentionally, releasing some of the tension in the room.
"Rise Demiurge, and listen closely, all of you."
He felt the pressure of their eager anticipation as Demiurge reluctantly straightened, dusting himself off and stepping back into the collective of the guardians.
The intensity threatened to trigger his emotional suppression, but as Ainz recognized the excitement in the eyes of Aura and Mare, among others, he couldn't help but feel less like he was being scrutinized and more like he was holding court among a gathering of small children eager for a story…
The thought caused him to grin a bit, and the pressure he felt lightened.
"What I speak of is not magic, Demiurge, but something more like psychology."
The guardians glanced to each other briefly, giving Ainz a minute to form his next thought.
"I'll begin with the curse of knowledge. The simplest explanation is this: because you know something, you can't help but behave accordingly."
Most in attendance around the room nodded slowly, but some were confused.
"I'm sorry-arinsu," Shalltear raised her hand. "But why is this bad? Knowing things helps you make smarter decisions, right? Why would that be a bad thing?"
Most of the guardians seemed to agree with her.
"A few different reasons," Ains nodded pensively, leaning forward in his chair to steeple his fingers as he lectured. "Most of them variations of the same idea: it limits your thinking."
Eyes went wide at this, but he continued. "Imagine you only know one weakness of the undead: bludgeoning damage. An adventurer party knowing that skeletons are weak to bludgeoning might elect to have their mage focus on buffing and healing rather than experimenting with offensive spells. Especially if they try acid or cold spells first, they might erroneously assume that the undead are resistant to all magic, rather than continue on to fire or holy spells. In this case, incomplete knowledge can appear like complete knowledge, and curse you into pursuing less effective strategies, thinking yourself wise."
The guardians slowly digested, but Ainz wasn't finished.
"There's also a different risk," he continued. "The risk of interpretation."
Again heads cocked to the side.
[Bukubuku, your kids really are adorable like this… like puppies.]
"Imagine you see a large, stinging insect on the back of your colleagues' head," Ainz intentionally opted for a more child-friendly metaphor. "So you do them a favor… and squash it."
Belatedly, Ainz wondered if his choice of metaphor would upset Cocytus, but it was too late to change now.
"To your friend, you just slapped them for no reason. If they're a quarrelsome sort, this could lead to conflict, or at the least misunderstanding."
"But couldn't you just explain?" Aura almost immediately shrank back after her outburst under the glare of Albedo.
"You could," Ainz conceded, "But perhaps they're already upset with you and don't give you the chance. Or perhaps a third party doesn't see the insect or explanation and only knows that you attacked an innocent bystander unprovoked."
He could see the gears turning behind guardian's eyes, and it looked like Aura might speak up again, so he pre-empted what would inevitably be a follow-up question.
"Admittedly, it's a bit of a silly metaphor," he shrugged, parting his hands is an "oh well" gesture before setting back onto the throne. "So try not to overthink it. The point is that because you know something the other party doesn't, they may misunderstand your actions. One must always keep in mind what the other party does or does not know."
The guardians seemed to accept this, most nodding slowly in silence.
"Thank you for your teaching," Sebas spoke up nest. "I believe the concept is most informative, but I'm afraid I do not understand its application." The butler bowed in apology as he spoke. "In this context, what is the knowledge that others lack, and how may that cause problems for us?"
Ainz couldn't have set up a better segue if he tried.
[Thank you Sebas!]
"The first question one must ask," Ainz enjoyed being in the driver's seat of the conversation for a moment, indulging in some soliloquy. "Is who might misunderstand. Who are we worried about? The answer is simple: we don't know."
Sebas raised up, cradling his chin in his hand as he considered.
"I see," Sebas considered as he stroked his chin. "We can't anticipate how our actions will be perceived if we don't know who is watching… If we don't know our audience, we can't know what they know, or how they will perceive our aggression. We risk making enemies of unknown individuals or nations with unknown knowledge and unknown interpretations. Doing so would invite unknown consequences."
"Would they really be that bad?" Lupusregina piped up from the line of the Pleides, directing her question at Sebas, rather than Ainz. "So far, we haven't encountered anyone we'd really need to worry about, I doubt somebody capable of threatening our Master is hiding behind some bush somewhere. Even if they were, why would they care about some useless humans?"
[[Lupusregina!] Ainz panicked a little inside. [Didn't I put you in charge of a whole village of 'useless humans?' And besides, don't spoil someone who's making my points for me!]
Fortunately, Sebas had an answer for her.
"That's the whole point of 'unknown.'" He countered. "And while surely nothing could threaten Ainz-sama, there is still the mystery of the person or people who ambushed Shalltear. Such people could still be a threat to us as we operate in this world. I'd hate to inconvenience our Master by stirring up unnecessary conflict we couldn't handle on our own."
That seemed to settle the matter for the rest of the guardians, Sebas turning to bow once more before Ainz.
"Thank you, my Lord. I hope that my understanding is sufficient."
"I am pleased that you recognize the need for prudence," Ainz nodded. "But I will still answer your original question: the knowledge we possess which the world beyond our walls lacks."
This got the Guardian's attention back on Ainz, and he resisted the urge to flinch.
"Simply put: the world doesn't know it should submit before Ainz Ooal Gown."
"Insects-"
"How can they not-"
"Then they should be crushed."
The last voice, the one who summarized the room's reaction, was Albedo.
Ainz's non-existent throat felt dry. He'd expected some kind of reaction, but the severity of it still intimidated him.
"Albedo," he addressed her slowly. "This is the curse of power."
Ainz composed himself before speaking.
"We may indeed have the power to crush all before us who defy submitting to our rule. We may even be justified in destroying those who would rise against us-" Ainz kept his language non-committal, trying to avoid absolute statements his guardians could run off and commit atrocities with. "But are we certain that doing so would bring us the greatest rewards? Or could there be another method to achieve the same or better result?"
The guardian's seemed to consider, the more war-like of them struggling with the concept.
"Let's reconsider the hypothetical of the stinging insect again." For the sake of a break to compose his thoughts, he raised a hand to stroke his bony chin. "The insect lands on your friend. Do you crush it or not? Just because you can, should you? If you're accustomed to simply crushing anything in your way, you might do so without a second thought. But what if that upsets the hive, and you become swarmed for your needless aggression? Perhaps the insect stings you in the process, and you become poisoned. Perhaps you'd have been better off simply shooing the bug away. Violence is not always the best answer, even if you think it will get you what you want."
Ainz looked for recognition in the guardian's eyes, and it seemed that- after Sebas- the dark elf twins understood this concept most readily.
Sebas' response seemed obvious in retrospect. With him adopting Touch-Me's sense of justice, he'd naturally appreciate a sense of prudence and restraint depending on context. The young elves though, took a second to understand.
[Mare I get,] Ainz reflected. [Since he's so timid I guess he'd embrace the idea of not fighting. His sister surprises me though, is it because she's a ranger who respects nature, or because she's weaker than the others without her beasts, maybe?]
Checking the back row, Ainz realized his choice of metaphor might have actually had a surprising benefit: two of the pleiades had strong relations to insects: Narberal and Entoma. Narberal already equated non-denizens of Nazarick equivalent to insects, and Entoma would straight-up eat both. Perhaps comparing humans to insects would make things easier for them to understand? Or was this embracing their opinion and clouding everyone's regard for humans in the process?
Ainz realized he had been silent for a good thirty seconds at least, and something seemed to be happening in the interlude…
The guardian's gazes were shifting over to Demiurge, who appeared to be… shaking?
Ainz realized he'd never released Demiurge from the command of "silence."
"Demiurge," he offered warily, careful to avoid letting the supreme intelligence of Nazarick ask too many questions and pick his metaphors apart. "Do you understand?"
The pent-up enthusiasm all seemed to burst forth at once.
"Such remarkable wisdom! I've been so blind! A world of possibilities I could never have foreseen, blinded by… by my own intelligence! My greatest gift, also a curse, how devious, how miserable!"
The rest of the assembled blinked in unison as Demiurge's claws dug into his own palms in excitement.
"Surely my creator knew exactly what he was doing, the seeds of my own defeat built into the mechanisms I use to pursue victory... how positively vicious! How cruel, how insidious, how beautifully sadistic!"
The rest of the guardian's exchanged uneasy glances, and both Aura and Mara shifted slightly away, into the shadow of Shalltear's skirts.
Fortunately, one guardian had the wherewithal to interrupt Demiurge's rhapsody.
"Ahem," came Albedo's firm, pointed intrusion.
Demiurge straightened immediately, hurriedly re-tightening his tie.
"Oh, excuse me, Lord Ainz," he apologized profusely. "I just could not help but admire the wisdom of the Supreme Beings. Am I correct in assuming another risk of the 'curse of power,' as you say is the increased proclivity to attract challengers?"
A puff of frost announced Cocytus's agreement.
"Indeed. A. Mighty. Foe. Inspires. Conflict."
Suzuki Saturo wanted to leap for joy at his Guardian's immediate acceptance of his explanation, but instead he settled for one of his rehearsed approving nods.
"That's right. There are many other ways the curse can manifest-"
[Not that I can think any, so don't ask!]
"But the cure is the same for them all. Learn to question your natural assumptions, to check your impulses and weigh them against the way they may be perceived by or impact the world at large. Always remember… we are surrounded by the unknown here. Don't expect me to be able to save you from everything."
[There, that should bring things back under control…]
The guardians' eyes seemed to sparkle with respect even as their faces were solemn, but the peace lasted only a moment before Shalltear seemed to realize something.
"Excuse me-arinsu, but does this mean that we won't be punishing the Kingdom?"
Everyone's eyes popped open at the thought.
"Don't be silly!" Albedo shouted at the petite vampire. "How could we bear to let such an affront stand? Obviously Lord Ainz has an alternative, superior method of punishing the Kingdom that none of us have considered!"
[Oh shit.]
Now he'd done it. He was screwed. He'd dismissed the only perfectly logical plan without having an alternative, and he was well and thoroughly screwed.
"Indeed," Demiurge concurred. "As the only one who's intellect surpasses this Curse of Knowledge, our master is clearly playing a long game the likes of which we couldn't possibly anticipate. He's the one who recognized the root of the problem as a fool, after all."
[Wait, no, I don't actually know if that was right, it was just a suggestion!]
The guardians turned as one back to Ainz, who was desperately trying to compose himself.
Funnily enough, the sensation was starting to feel familiar… but not just from this time in the new world.
[The guild used to turn to me the same way, when we were stuck at an impasse and needed a decision,] Ains reflected. [Though most of the time, I just put it to a vote and tried to make some concession to each side. Now I have to invent the solution wholesale! It's not fair! It's not like I can just ask them for ideas and pick the best ones either…]
Actually, that gave him an idea.
"I see," Ainz stalled as he studied the room's expectant gazes. "So now you all look to me, expecting a grand, brilliant revelation of my long-foreseen plan, is that right?"
He let a little bit of sarcasm drift into his voice towards the end of his sentence, even as the more impressionable of the guardians leaned towards him in anticipation.
"But if I did that, how would you learn to deal with the unexpected?"
The room let out a collective gasp, Mare nearly falling forward as he lost his balance in surprise.
Surprisingly, it was Cocytus who spoke first.
"I. See." His mandibles clicked in excitement. "A. New. Battle. Of. The. Lizardmen. But. Different. Not. A. Battle. Of. Armies. But. A. Question. Of. National. Policy. And. Diplomacy."
It was strange to see Cocytus worked up over something that didn't involve the exchanging of blades, but Ains realized that his warrior had just given him an easy escape.
He seized on it before anyone could intervene.
"Indeed, Cocytus." Ainz agreed, "We've suffered a setback. Not one wholly unanticipated, but a detour nonetheless. What kind of leader would I be if I let such an opportunity pass us by without seizing it?"
There was a still, small voice. At first Ainz thought it was Mare, until he realized it was actually Aura.
"Does… does that mean Albedo failed, like Cocytus?"
The room froze, not even Cocytus' breath daring to crack the silence.
[Oh shit.] Ainz realized. [I did kind of imply that, didn't I?]
He turned his head slowly towards Albedo, to find her trembling.
"Albedo, that isn't-"
It was too late. She threw herself on the floor at his feet, the second guardian to start groveling since this train wreck of a conversation began.
"Forgive me, my Lord!" She cried, the force of her cry palpable as it bounced off the stone floor, pushing him back in his chair. "I know I don't deserve it but I beg of you for mercy!"
Ainz was too stunned to pull together a reply, her shouts paralyzing everyone in the room.
"No, what I've done is beyond forgiveness, I beg of you to punish me!" She continued "Nothing could be too severe, even to end my life it would at least relieve me of my shame! Please my lord, if you ask me to end my life I will do so at a moment's notice, or if you prefer to execute me yourself-"
'Silence, Albedo!"
As with Demiurge, the protesting guardian immediately fell mute, though it was clear by her trembling form that it took a great amount of self-control.
The panicking Suzuki Satoru took a deep breath to collect his thoughts.
[Okay, this whole "silence" thing is like a superpower, how have I not been using this all along? No, don't get distracted. This is bad, this is bad. I didn't mean to make her feel bad, didn't I just earlier point out how subordinate's mistakes aren't necessarily their manager's fault? Should I just use that bit again?]
"Albedo, didn't we just cover earlier how the mistakes of the subordinate are not necessarily those of their manager?" Ainz tried to keep his voice smooth, measured, but he was still fairly confident that his anxiety and confusion crept in.
That seemed to give the overseer pause. She lifted her head only an inch or two, just enough to peer up at him from behind her jet-black hair, and Ainz tried not to get distracted by the way her bright, eager golden eyes and submissive posture played on every man's fantasy.
"That- that is so, my Lord," she paused, searching for understanding – for either absolution or condemnation- in his words. "But still, this operation was entrusted to me, was it not? Is it not right that I bear responsibility for its failure?"
At least she was asking the question now, and not outright jumping onto her sword. [Or Ginnungagap,] Ainz reflected. [That'd get messy.]
"While it is true that a good leader takes responsibility for the outcome of their projects, and protect those who work for them," Ainz hedged, slowly, feeling his way towards a balanced answer. "It is important to recognize that penalties should reflect the magnitude and method of failure."
[Okay, I need to write that one down, that was pretty damn good for improve!]
"So you do intend to punish her?" Shalltear sounded perhaps a bit too excited in her query, and Demiurge shot her a look of reproach.
"I am pleased that Albedo wishes to take responsibility for her initiatives," Ainz nodded slowly, trying to remember what he'd just said. "It is a hallmark of good leadership, which is invaluable. Good leaders should be cultivated, as they are hard to find."
Ainz had played Yggdrasil for a long time… over that time many guilds crumbled due to infighting and poor leadership. Suzuki knew the phenomenom from working, as well. Guild members complained incessantly about poor bosses and incompetent management- whenever someone found a good leader in their company, it seemed like they either immediately get crushed by the burocracy or fired by another manager threatened by their ability.
Ainz continued, using these thoughts for inspiration. "Punishing a good leader too harshly will kill any ambition or creativity they have, so I will mitigate my punishment accordingly. Additionally, I do not believe this setback will hinder our progress unduly. Remember I am immortal, and as such I do not particularly care how quickly our objectives are accomplished so long as we learn and improve ourselves along the way. This will be an excellent opportunity for Albedo to take absolve herself of her portion of the mistake, and practice her statecraft as our Prime Minister."
All eyes turned to the still-bowing Albedo, whose confidence seemed to be returning slowly, her head now slightly higher than it was before.
"Some punishment," Aura mumbled under her breath, probably not intending anyone to hear her.
"I am not finished," Ainz tapped his fingers on the armrest of the throne, scrambling to pull together a reasonable punishment.
[Well, the chair thing is definitely not an option,] he immediately tossed that out the window. [Let's see, what does Albedo value more than anything? Her clothes? No, she wears the same thing every day. Her role? If I took away her responsibilities, Nazarick would crumble! I could never do what she does! Let's see, anything else?]
Realization hit him like a Fireball, and a slow smirk grew on his face- or would have, if he possessed flesh.
It seemed the Guardians could sense it regardless. Albedo look up in anxious dread.
"Albedo,"Ainz chuckled lowly. "Until such a time as you can present a revised, improved plan that will yield superior gains for the Sorcerous Kingdom than our original strategy… you are not permitted in my direct presence."
At his final word, the room went silent, the Guardian's frozen in place.
Ainz had no heart, but he felt one pound in his chest.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Then he heard a sniff. A quiet, delicate thing. Ainz wondered if there was a smell he hadn't noticed…
Then another sniff. Another…
Ainz traced the sound. Mare?
The young dark elf druid burst into tears, and the room burst into a chaos of voices at once.
"Ainz-sama, please, while I understand the desire for harsh punishment-"
Demiurge?
"My Lord, I must request some consideration-"
Sebas?
"I. wish. To. Submit. To. Ainzsama. A. Request. For. Mercy.-"
Cocytus!?
Towards the back of the assembly, Aura and Mare were on their knees, cradling each other as they both sobbed. Shalltear stood by Aura's side, a hand on her shoulder in comfort.
Shalltear seemed paler than usual, expressionless in paralyzed shock.
Oh shit, Ainz thought.
In theory, it was a fairly clever punishment for a woman who was crushing on her coworker… but AInz had miscalculated just how dearly the Guardians – indeed all of Nazarick – valued time with him.
He immediately began to walk back his idea.
"Gatherings requiring all guardians excluded, of course," Ainz scrambled to find any other reasonable exceptions, waving off the guardian's protests. "Message spells are not restricted, and you only need to provide a reasonable forecast for improvements. I suspect you'll have a revised stratagem within the week…"
The verbal protests receded, though Ainz felt he'd only stalled them back temporarily.
"You may requisition all the resources of Nazarick, and Demiurge can assist you in brainstorming. Ultimately, however, you will be responsible for forming and executing the plan. Do you understand?"
He sped up as he was talking, rushing the words out to try and mitigate the worst of the damage.
It didn't work.
Albedo rose slowly from her prostrate bow so something more resembling a prayer: on both knees, hands cradled in her lap, head down to stare at the floor.
"I.. I… My Lord, was my failure truly so absolute?"
Her flat, sorrowful tone made Ainz immediately want to run and cradle her. He felt like he'd just kicked a puppy, or burnt a child's only Christmas toy before they'd even opened the box… and then told them it was their fault.
He wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He needed to fix this.
"Albedo, do not mourn your punishment," he offered softly, scrambling for something to offer her as an apology.
[Think, you bone-head,] he chastised himself. [What's something she'd want more than anything? Marriage? Hell no, that'd lead to the other thing she hasn't realized I can't do. Could the chair thing be a reward for her? Bad idea…]
"Do not forget that I am generous with success as well," he stalled, using a line he'd rehearsed for recruiting potentially wary subordinates he might meet outside Nazarick.
[Okay, step one… Reassurance. I need to encourage her, considering I basically just called her a failure in front of everyone. I really don't want them questioning her leadership or something because I mis-spoke.]
"You've served me well thus far, I have no doubt we will be celebrating the fruits of your labor again soon."
Another set of rehearsed phrases strung together. It originally felt silly to talk in phrases like "served me well" and "fruits of your labor," but after a few hundred variations he'd gotten better at using them organically.
It still didn't solve his problem of what he was going to reward her with… until he realized the answer was staring him in the face. All the guardians wanted the same thing, and it was their fervor for it that drove all his vacation programs into the ground…
They wanted work, they wanted to be bring glory to Nazarick, and they wanted to be near Ainz.
He didn't understand why, but the mountain of evidence was unassailable. Even the Homunculus maids wept for joy when invited into the room with him.
Fortunately, he'd already given Albedo a task to do… now all he had to do was get her to focus on it, rather than the punishment.
"As the Kingdom finds its place under my rule," he paused, collecting his words carefully. "You will be the one to deliver it to me."
Another pause, and he could tell that didn't quite have the grandiosity to it he was looking for. Fortunately, there was an easy follow-up. An easy place of honor he could give her, simply because he daren't let her out of arm's reach in political situations.
"And once you have, you will sit at my right hand as I claim it."
The guardians seemed to collect themselves at his words, Aura and Mare wiping away tears as they looked up from the floor.
Ainz was suddenly grateful for his hours spent reading poems and scribbling awkward imitations in the privacy of his room. At the time he felt a fool for wasting time with trying to sound good instead of working on things that mattered, but from the reactions he was getting he suspected he'd need to spend more time reading bard's tales and epic poetry.
Albedo, however, still would not look up from the floor.
[Was that not enough?] Suzuki's confidence collapsed anew. [Maybe she thinks this task is too difficult? I mean, it is something I imagine Demiurge would take to more naturally, maybe it's outside her skill set? Getting a country to submit wasn't that hard with Jirkniv, I managed it completely by accident, for crying out loud! But the Holy Kingdom was a whole other story, Demiurge was working on that for months before I got involved… Yeah, this was definitely too much. I'll just have to convince her it's worth it, I guess?]
Looking down on Albedo like this, thinking of the feeling she must be feeling- that she'd been given an impossible task, he found a memory that offered some inspiration.
There was a reason the Guild chose Tabula to design Albedo. As the final guardian of the guild base, Albedo was literally the last stand between any invaders and the total destruction of Ainz Ooal Gown. The members of the guild would rally behind her, Momonga in particular employing her as the ultimate shield behind which he could cast spells with impunity.
They gave the critical, incredible challenge of making that NPC to the most obsessive, perfectionistic NPC-maker in the guild, and he took to the challenge with relish, languishing time and love in the crafting of his perfect, dark defender.
"Albedo," Ainz tried a softer approach this time, moderating his regal tone back to something more personable. "I am reminded of something Tabula once said to me when he was creating you-"
That got her to look up, eyes wide in shock and hope.
"-that nothing good ever came without difficulty. And the more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards."
Ainz paused to check her reaction, but couldn't read her face. She seemed somewhere between confusion, hope, sadness, and something he couldn't figure out. She almost felt angry, but he dismissed that as a mis-cue.
"Tabula Smaragdina was put more time into making you than I think any of us spent making any of the other NPC's, with only the possible exception of your younger sister," Ainz confided, desperate to build her confidence back up.
"His great challenge- the perfect defender and administrator of the Great Tomb of Nazarick. You are the fruit of his labor, the reward he produced by his efforts. His gift to the guild."
Now all the guardians were standing in rapt attention, Ainz struggling to form his words as his mind charted the vague outline of a pathway to safety.
"But you are not complete," Ainz saw her face fall, and he broke his gaze away to look at the rest of the assembled NPC's. "None of you are."
All the NPC's squirmed a bit as they wrestled with his words.
"Since we arrived in this world, you've been asked to do things you were never designed for. Asked to learn and grow in ways we never expected. Failure is an inevitability."
Eyes went wide in the room, but AInz didn't stop… he was in the groove, and he daren't interrupt it.
"Failure is inevitable," he repeated. "Even for me."
He held up a hand to silence the inevitable protests.
"But as we learned with Cocytus, the greatest learning- and rewards- can come from the struggle after the failure. That is my greatest goal of all… to continue the work of making you. To help you grow. But to grow we must struggle. To grow we must face hard things."
Ainz returned his gaze to Albedo.
"If I give you harsh punishment," he bluffed, completing a logic he wasn't sure would hold up under scrutiny. "It is not because I am angry. It is not because your failure was greater than any others. It is because I see opportunity for greater growth in you- and in this opportunity."
"Yes, my Lord!" Albedo's color began to return, her damp eyes steeled with conviction as she clutched her hands to her breast. "I will not fail you again!"
Ainz nodded slowly, letting the moment hang in the air, looking for something regal or wise to say… but he'd tapped his reserves. He was exhausted, and he needed to get out of here before he said something worse…
Breaking his gaze away from Albedo, he looked over the guardians. They seemed restless… he'd taken too long to handle what should have been a straightforward affair, and undoubtedly they were critiquing some fault in his logic or the way he botched punishing Albedo.
He'd have to find a way to salvage this later… for now, he needed to escape.
"Then unless there is further business," he summoned the guild staff to his hand. "I will take my leave. Guardians, assist Albedo to the fullest extent of your abilities. Serve me well, and bring Glory to Ainz Ooal Gown!"
All the Guardians, Pleiades, and NPC's around the room knelt as one, and Ainz activated the ring of Ainz Ooal Gown to teleport to the safety and privacy of his chambers.
As soon as the teleportation was complete, Ainz dismissed the Eight-Edge Assassins, maintaining his regal posture as they exited.
The moment the door shut behind them, however, he cast a silence spell on himself, grabbed his head in his hands, and screamed.
"Aaaaaaaaagh! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Stress like he'd never felt flowed from the non-existent muscles of his back, into his chest. It coiled there, and no amount of screaming could release it.
His emotional suppression kicked in three times before he found the words to vent.
"What was I thinking?! Punishing Albedo with some kind of weird banishment? How arrogant was that? All I did with Cocytus was make him govern some stupid lizardmen, and Shalltear straight-up enjoyed her thing! Why'd I have to go so hard!"
His only answer was so simplistically selfish that he couldn't do anything but cringe. He didn't want to admit it, but the truth was inescapable. He didn't make some token punishment for her like he did with the rest of the guardians… did did this for himself. He banned her because he wanted a break from the pressure she inevitably brought during his morning reports.
He'd done it to get a reprieve from his own insecurity.
Ainz threw his hands up in impotent frustration, turning on his heel to march back to his bedroom.
Truly, the fact that he'd screwed up so bad that Cocytus, Sebas, and Demiurge all agreed, and even protested was a new level…
His whole image as a fair and benevolent manager was shattered. He'd way overdone it with that punishment for Albedo, and he was fairly confident his explanation wouldn't stand up to scrutiny.
[Seriously, "I punish you because I want you to grow?" That sounds abusive! Like telling a kid "I'm doing this for your own good" before spanking them with a slipper! There's no way they'll accept that!]
He groaned as he turned the doorknob, face-palming as he considered how out-of-control he'd been in there.
[Why the hell did I open my mouth like that? It was like once I started talking I couldn't stop! That bit about Tabula- I didn't even get his quote right!]
Cold dread gripped his heart as his bedroom door shut behind him.
[Shit, Demiurge is going to go insane over-analyzing all the bullshit I word-vomited out there. That whole 'curse of power' thing, and my half-baked explanation for why I punished Albedo after letting the Eight Fingers lady off with a warning… I can only imagine how inconsistent I look! He's going to poke holes in it all for sure!]
He flopped face-first onto his bed. Not dove, just flopped.
His legs hung off the edge, kicking ineffectually.
[I'm going to have to ask probing questions for weeks just to figure out half of what he finds wrong, then come up with excuses to fill the gaps… Oh this is a nightmare. I can only imagine what they're saying in there now…]
_
Next chapter: What the Guardian's are really saying after Ainz leaves.
Let me know what you all think: whether I accurately captured the characterization of Ainz and his NPC's, sufficiently imitated the original writing style, or whether this felt too divergent from the characterization in the novels. I love feedback, and actively work it into my writing process. Thanks!
