Author's Note: Prompt suggested by Larkfeather1151.


V is for Vacuum


It was an open secret that Cad Spinner actively despised the park's clutter of Roombas. He tried to coo over them whenever a member of the public was present because the SUV had learned that the public apparently adored the little creatures. But no matter how sweetly he tried to talk to them while he was being observed, the Roombas always puffed themselves up and hissed at him in reply. In private both parties were even less civil with Cad actually brushing any Roomba he saw harshly aside with a tire and the Roombas constantly leaving hairballs and piles of debris in his rooms and office space even when he did his best to keep the doors to his spaces shut.

What Cad never realized was that the Roombas weren't acting alone. In fact, the Roombas were only a symptom of the dissatisfaction that the men and women who worked under him felt. When staff meetings went badly, it was only a matter of time before someone on the cleaning crew would upload a picture of one of the Roombas napping in a patch of sun or video of a pair of Roombas chasing each other playfully up and down one of the lodge's hallways and the sheer cuteness would help temper the moment. And so, when one of the little Roombas scratched on Cad's door and the cleaning crew knew that the Superintendent was out somewhere else, they of course helpfully opened it and allowed the tiny creatures to slip in and do their business on the boss's floor.

Cad had spent most of the day schmoozing with some high-powered lawyers, so the Roombas had had more opportunities than normal to dump their loads of dirt in the superintendent's apartment within the half-built lodge. The little creatures also seemed to have recognized the gift they had been given and tried to find the stickiest and stickiest materials they could to drag into the SUVs living space…even though the Roombas clearly knew that such actions would force them to get a hated bath later in the day. They even kept their hissing to a minimum while Andre gave them a good scrub to remove the gunk, they had collected on their underbellies.

Given the mess he had cleaned off of the Roombas, Andre hadn't been too surprised when all the Roombas who were currently trying to claim his sleeping mat or were curled up next to his bookshelf suddenly dove under his desk. Moments after all the little robots were safely hidden Cad burst into the room, completely in a huff.

"THEY DID IT AGAIN!"

"Who did what?" The tug tried to do his best to keep a straight face as he quietly sipped from a mug of tea.

"You…You know who!" Cad spat and sputtered in frustration. "Those stupid cleaning robot things. They keep on making a mess of my spaces." The superintendent's eyes narrowed. "Honestly, I don't understand why we can't cull the whole lot of them and just try to start over. Or maybe we could find a different method of keeping the floor clean. One that isn't so…" Cad made a shooing motion with his tire.

Andre sighed and placed his mug down. "We are not getting rid of the Roombas."

"But." Cad whined.

"We are not getting rid of the Roombas. They are not only important to the functioning of the lodge itself, but they are also an important part of the guest experience."

The moment that the guest experience was brought up Cad instantly deflated. "But I hate them so much."

"I know you do." Andre allowed a flicker of a smirk to twitch on the edge of his mouth. "But the Roombas are still not going anywhere. So, it wouldn't hurt for you to be civil with them."

Cad just gave an exasperated sigh and then stalked out of the room. Only once the door was closed and the sound of the superintendent's engine had faded to nothing did the first Roomba peek out from their hiding place.

This time it was Andre's turn to sigh and the little tug reached to grab a jar from the shelf. At the familiar sound, the entire clutter of Roombas where instantly surrounding him looking up at him with big, begging eyes.

"Alright." The tug opened up the jar which got all of the tiny robots very excited. "But you are going to have to share."

The Roombas didn't really listen to him, so he took a scoop of the finely powdered dust and tossed it across the rug in the center of the room. The excited little Roombas instantly zoomed over to the rug and started greedily sucking up their 'treat'. Andre watched the bunch of them, adding a bit of dust here and there to make sure that even the slowest, oldest, and youngest of the robots got their share. Then he just sat back on his tires and watch as the little creatures enthusiastically sucked up every speck of dust.

Andre couldn't fully comprehend what it would be like to be a domestic Roomba. He knew that they were finicky creatures whose craving for new and different flavors of dust and dirt would cause them to quickly gorge themselves into a catatonic state whenever they manage to escape into the great outdoors. After one or two failed adventures they tend to learn to stay within the confines of their safe, indoor world. But being resigned to their little world didn't stop their craving for new and different soil, so Andre would ask the park staff to collect jars of dirt from around the park and beyond to share with the Roombas a couple of times a week after their daily work was done.

The tug felt a slight bump on his tire, and he looked down to see a Roomba looking up at him.

"I am sorry but that is all for tonight."

The little machine gave a chittering noise and bumped him once more…and Andre realized that he couldn't say no.

"Alright." The tug reached to take another large scoop of dust from the jar. "But this is the last scoop."

No one, including Andre, believed that statement.


End Note: When Lark suggested this story prompt all I could think of was a cultural quirk that I experienced when I was in Japan. When a Roomba or other floor cleaning robot was beyond repair, the only way that many companies could arrange to replace the little machines was to guarantee that the old one got a proper Buddhist funeral because many of the owners viewed their robot vacuum cleaners as pets. That lead me down this particular rabbit whole.

But enough of me rambling. We are rapidly drawing to the end of this collection of stories, which means it is time for me to ask for your prompt ideas for the letter W.