XIII. Because You Are My Hero

You've been distracted.

Even as you finished up your session with Dr. Inami, all you could think of was your discovery last weekend. You had promised Hayato-san that you would come back, if only to visit him, and he had wished you luck on your search. He had even confirmed that the number that Kamijou Touma used to contact him for the t-shirts was the same one that you have on your phone.

It was all too much. You wanted to tell somebody, to vent out, but you were unsure whether telling your friends was a good idea. The fact that Hayato-san suggested a relationship between you and this mysterious Kamijou Touma meant that he was someone who played a significant part in your life. There was no logical reason for your friends to not know who this person was—unless, of course, you chose to keep this uncertain-if-true-or-not relationship a secret from your friends. You couldn't think of a reason why you would do that though, and after (re)learning about Kuroko's stalker capabilities, you doubted you could've kept it a secret in the first place.

"I said stop." You felt something hit your head at the same time the words registered in your mind. Blinking, you looked to your right to find Dr. Inami holding the roll of paper that was connected to your head.

"Huh?" You looked at her blankly for a moment before she nodded her head to the side. You turned to what she was gesturing and realized she was referring to the metal blocks that you were still lifting using your ability. "Oh!" Once you realized what she meant, you slowly decreased the amount of power you were exerting until the blocks touched the floor. Only then did you fully halt your power.

Dr. Inami had removed the roll of paper from your head but remained frowning at you. "You're distracted, Misaka-san." She stated knowingly.

You darted your eyes to the side. You were hoping she wouldn't notice. "Uhm..."

"Tell me what's bothering you." She said, crossing her arms.

"I-it's nothing," you tried to wave her off, "Just some stuff in school. Nothing big."

She wasn't convinced. "Well, it doesn't seem like nothing to me if it made you this inattentive." You couldn't really offer a reply, and she sighed at your silence. "Did you discover something about your memories?"

Your head snapped up, your eyes widening in surprise.

She smiled thinly, "So I was right. Did you remember something?"

"How did you know?"

"Honestly? It was an educated guess." You frowned at her answer. She walked towards the bench against the wall where she normally sat during the sessions to observe and beckoned you to follow her. "I'll explain it in a second, but can you tell me what happened first? It'll give me more insight about your recovery."

You followed her warily and sat down beside her. You fiddled with your thumbs and all she did was stare expectantly at you. After a long moment, you let out a breath and began, "I had this dream... well, it was more of a memory that gave me some... direction on where to go to know more about my past."

When you didn't immediately continue, she prompted, "Which is?"

"I... I dreamt about someone," you answered, "He gave me this shirt which I later found in my drawer so I went on a search to find the store he bought it from to confirm if the dream was real and find out who he is."

"And you found it?"

You nodded. "Yeah." You let out a sigh. "I found out his name and that we seemed to be in some sort of relationship and that he's important to me. But that's what's making me all the more confused. If he was so important, then why haven't I met him?"

She let out a thoughtful hum, and for a moment, you wondered if she knew something about Kamijou Touma. But then, she asked, "Have you gotten any of these dreams again? Or maybe some flashbacks?"

You shook your head. "No, not after that one." Dr. Inami's eyes narrowed in thought and you couldn't help but ask, "Do you know something about this, sensei?"

"Unfortunately, no," She sent you an apologetic smile. "Heaven Canceller was the one who oversaw everything while you were in the hospital. He just sent me your files so I can do my best to help you recover. I'm sorry, but I have no idea who this person might be."

You let out a sigh, almost expecting her answer. "Yeah, I figured I would never be that lucky. At least it doesn't seem like you're lying to me."

Her eyebrow rose at this. "Someone has been lying to you about your memories?"

"I don't want to accuse but..." You tilted your head upwards, leaning against the wall. "I think my friends have been keeping a lot of stuff from me. Especially my roommate, Kuroko. I mean, I know that Heaven Canceller told them not to tell me the whole thing since it might jeopardize my recovery, but why all the lies? Why is this one person so critical to my recovery that I can't know about him?"

"I think you already know the answer to that." She pointed out.

You groaned, covering your face with your hands as you leaned your elbows against your knees. "He's involved with the event that got me amnesia." You stated in response. "But can meeting this person really trigger all of my memories so violently? Is that even possible? I mean, I've met so many people these past weeks but I didn't even get any dreams or flashbacks during that time. And with that, how can anyone expect me to remember anything? What if he really is the key to regaining my memories? Why would they want to keep me away from him if that's so?"

"Well, I can tell you that meeting this mystery person probably won't suddenly make you remember everything." She responded. "It would be the catalyst, most likely, and you'll slowly regain your memories from then on. It might not even happen on your first meeting, but if this person really did play a big part, I agree that he might be the key to getting your memories back."

You stayed silent as you digested what she had said.

"Which brings us back to you." You glanced at her questioningly. "Your AIM has increased a little since our last session."

You blinked. "What?"

"Since we started, your AIM diffusion field had steadily decreased down to a certain level, which it remained constant for a few of our sessions. Today, it increased. Not by a huge amount, but it still did. It's still too early to confirm, but I think your Personal Reality was highly affected by your memory loss." She explained, and from her lab coat pocket, she pulled out a single jigsaw puzzle piece and put it on the palm of your hand. "Think of it like this. Your Personal Reality is an image and your memories are a jigsaw puzzle which it was printed on. When you lost your memories, you lost the jigsaw pieces and destroyed the image. Regaining your memories is like finding one of the jigsaw pieces. You—"

"I find pieces, and I get the image back." You finished her sentence, closing your hands into fists with the piece inside it. Your eyes were wide as you looked at her, and she smiled back. "You think I'll get my power back once I remember everything?"

"Like I said, it's still too early to prove it but," she put a comforting hand on your shoulder as she said, "Yes, I believe you'll reach Level 5 again once you get your memories back. So don't you dare give up, okay, Misaka-san?"

You couldn't help the grin that made it to your lips as you nodded.


"Oh, hey, Uiharu-san. Where are Kuroko and Saten-san?" You asked as you entered the Judgment Office and spotting the flowerhead girl alone.

"Ah, Misaka-san!" She swivelled her chair around as she smiled at you, abandoning whatever it was she had been doing in favour of answering you. "Shirai-san is on patrol right now with Konori-senpai, and Saten-san suddenly had extra lessons to make up for. They should be done in an hour or so if you're willing to wait."

You walked to one of the chairs as she spoke, putting you school bag down beside it and ungracefully flopping down on it. With so many thoughts and the physical exertion you did during your therapy earlier, you could use a nap. "That's fine. I could use a break before we go out."

"Would you like some tea?"

She had already stood up when you nodded and said to her, "Yes, please."

She just pulled out a cup from the shelf when she asked, "So how has therapy been going, Misaka-san? You always seem tired after a session."

"Dr. Inami always works me hard. She wants me to practice my ability as much as I can, but at least it's helping me get used to my power again." You replied, slinging an arm over your eyes. You felt tired enough to fall asleep but your thoughts just wouldn't settle.

You kept thinking about Kamijou Touma and who he was supposed to be, and the fact that your friends had claimed to not know him when Hayato-san had said the two of you seemed close. It wasn't that you didn't trust your friends, but it really wouldn't make sense for Hayato-san to lie to you. He had no prior knowledge of your amnesia and was therefore unadvised to keep things from you. Plus, in the past weeks, he had been the one to give you the biggest piece of your memory. You still didn't even remember anything about your school life, and yet, a shop owner you only occasionally met up with had answered the question that had been in your mind since you heard his name.

Who was Kamijou Touma?

"Misaka-san?" You snapped back to focus when you heard Uiharu-san's voice, removing the arm across your eyes to find her holding a cup of tea. She smiled at you as she said, "Here you go. You should rest for a while. Those sessions really seem to put toll on you."

You sat up straighter as you accepted the cup with a thank you. You inhaled the scent, hoping it would soothe you, before taking a sip. You noticed that instead of getting back to work, Uiharu-san decided to sit opposite of you, looking at you in the scrutinizing way like she was looking for a scrape or a bruise, or anything that could indicate that you were hurt. You let out a sigh at this. You didn't really know why they do it—Kuroko, Saten-san and Uiharu-san in particular—but it made you feel... incapable, like they needed to protect you from the rest of the world.

"Would you like anything else?" Uiharu-san asked politely. "I believe we still have snacks if you're hungry."

You shook your head. "I'm fine, thanks." You told her before bringing the cup down to your lap. You stared at the liquid in it for a moment, wondering whether you should ask or not. In the end, you decided, "Can I ask you something, Uiharu-san?"

She offered you a bright smile. "Of course, Misaka-san! What is it?"

"You have to promise me you won't lie first," you said, her smile instantly dropping and replaced with surprise, "You can... keep things from me if Heaven Canceller really said you should but please don't lie to me because Kuroko has been, and even though I know she was thinking what's best for me, I'm starting to feel like I couldn't trust her." You paused. You didn't really intend to say that much, but seeing Uiharu-san's guilty expression, you thought that maybe it was more beneficial this way. "So I'm asking you again... do you know who Kamijou Touma is?"

Uiharu-san averted her eyes. She fiddled with her hands on her lap for a moment before sighing. "Well, Heaven Canceller only advised us not to tell you about him, but if you already know, I guess it doesn't matter much anymore."

"So you do know him?"

"Yes," Uiharu-san nodded, still looking a little hesitant, "I've met him a few times when he was with you. You seemed very close."

That at least confirmed what Hayato-san had told you, but it did raise the question you had mentioned to Inami-san. "Why didn't Heaven Canceller want me to know about him?"

Uiharu-san fidgeted. "To be honest, I'm not sure." She sighed, looking almost apologetically at you. "All I know is that he was there when you lost your memories."

You let out a tired breath. Plenty of things that you've been hypothesizing have been confirmed, but they didn't seem enough. The answers you find only seemed to introduce more questions—questions that, perhaps, only Kamijou Touma himself could answer.

You shook your head a little, getting rid of the negative emotions. You were still one step closer to learning who this person was. It was progress. You should be happy about progress.

"Misaka-san?" you looked back at Uiharu-san when she spoke lightly, and you were a little surprised to find sadness in her eyes. A sense of protectiveness overcame you, and suddenly, you wanted to to comfort her. But before you could react, she said, "You really don't trust us?"

It was only when she said that, that you realized you had done something wrong. You have been so caught up in regaining your memories and looking for this elusive Kamijou Touma that you didn't even notice how your friends felt. You had accused them of lying to you for keeping things in order to protect you, when they never even wanted to in the first place. It wasn't them who wanted to keep secrets from you. Heaven Canceller was the one who advised them to do so, and to them, following the doctor's orders just meant taking care of you and being a good friend.

You had been such a hypocritical fool.

"Uiharu-san," you started softly, watching as the tears began to well up in her eyes. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean—"

"Can I tell you something, Misaka-san?" her voice was trembling but it was obvious that she was trying to keep it light. There was even a gentle smile on her face. "That night, when you ran off and lost your memories... that was the most terrified I've ever been for a friend my whole life."

You swallowed guiltily. "Uiharu-sa—"

"Please let me finish," she interrupted calmly, and you matched her gaze as you did what she asked. "I have looked up to you for so long." She admitted. "Not only were you a Level 5, but you started a Level 2 and only made your way up from there. You never gave up, and you never surrendered. You have this passion about everything you do, and you care so much. I mean, you even found the time to care about me and Saten-san."

The tears overflowed, and all you could do was avert your eyes to the floor.

"You've always been the one to head to danger, you and Shirai-san, and sometimes even Saten-san... I'm just the back-up!" Her voice broke as she forced a cheerful tone. "And I've always had faith in you to come out of things okay, like you had faith in me that I'll be able to provide a way out if you couldn't find one. But when you ran into... whatever it was that happened... I couldn't even be there to send reinforcements.

"I keep thinking that maybe if I had been there with you, I could've saved you." She admitted in a soft voice. "Maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt so badly that you lost your memories. Maybe you wouldn't look so lost whenever you think we're not paying attention."

Your eyes snapped back to hold her gaze. She met yours with kindness a caring that you didn't feel worthy of.

That Misaka Mikoto had been worthy of.

"So I'm sorry I ever made you lose faith in me..." You start shaking your head in disagreement as she continued, "but all I could think of is that I couldn't let you dow—"

"No." You sternly cut her off, unwilling to let her blame herself for something you had so clearly done. You stand up and quickly drop to your knees in front of her, holding her hand. "Uiharu-san, none of this is on you. My memories, my insecurities, they're not your fault. If anything, I should be apologizing to you."

"But Misaka—"

"Please let me finish this time." You say lightly, hoping she would see honesty in your eyes. "The more I remember about myself, the more I realize that I haven't been a very good friend."

"Bu—"

"I wasn't." You insisted. "I hid things from you. I didn't tell you about other important people in my life. I stopped you from doing what you wanted because of some twisted belief that I was keeping you safe. And now, the outcome of those decisions are making you feel guilty, as if you had anything to do with the mess I found myself in."

You look down on your linked hands as you continued. "So I'm sorry... because I've been so focused on myself, that I failed to realize you were hurting too. I know you all have but I've been so selfish, I made the same mistake that got me to lose my memories. So if you will let me... I want to say I'm sorry too."

The only response you got was Uiharu-san's sniffling and when you looked up at her, you were surprised that her eyes had welled up with so much tears and her face was scrunched up in an obvious attempt to keep them at bay. You were about to freak out when she suddenly spoke.

"C-can I h-hug you, Mis-saka-san?"

You let out a laugh, a lone tear escaping your right eye as you brought her into your arms. You stayed like that for a few moments, laughing and crying and apologizing and saying each other's names. When the waterworks were at a manageable level, Uiharu-san said.

"I promise I won't lie about your memories anymore, Misaka-san! Just ask, and I'll tell you everything you want to know. I really do want to help you get your memories back." She said, still half-sobbing.

You let out another laugh as you wiped a tear from your cheek. "And I promise I won't try to do everything on my own. I'll rely on you more."

"Which reminds me!" She suddenly brightened up, standing and moving to sit in front of her computer before you could react. "I can at least help show you Kamijou Touma's picture! Since he's a student, he should be in Academy City's database!"

Your breath caught, and you silently walked towards her as she continued to talk.

"I'm actually surprised you haven't done it yourself. I mean, it won't be the first time that you hacked into Academy City's system for information. Ah, but maybe you don't remember doing that so you didn't consider it?" Uiharu went on, typing quickly on her laptop. "Anyhow, a picture would really help you a lot, I'm sure."

"Wait." You stopped her, putting your hands on each of her shoulders from behind. She turned her head to look questioningly at you. "Aren't you breaking Judgment rules or something for showing me confidential information."

"Not at all!" She gave this huge smile which easily put you to ease. "I do this all the time, and no one has reported me yet."

'WHAT?!' was your automatic mental reply. Physically though, all you could do was stare at your friend as she swiftly accessed the (restricted) Academy City's database. Before you can even muster up the coherency to react, Uiharu-san was already exclaiming "I got it!" and you had no other choice but to look.

You walked up behind Uiharu-san, leaning your hand against the back of Uiharu-san's chair, as you looked at the screen.

Kamijou Touma.

Right beside the name was the picture of a boy you recognized.


"Uiharu-san!"

The girl jumped from her seat as you burst into the Judgment office. Uiharu-san looked at you in alarm, before relaxing a little bit. "Misaka-san, you scared me!"

You just approached Uiharu-san while she turned back to her computer, almost frantically typing. "Do you know what's going on?" You asked, leaning one hand at the back of Uiharu-san's computer chair.

"You mean the strange power surges and localized earthquakes centered in the Windowless Building?" Uiharu-san replied, her eyes fixed on the screen. "Aside from the fact that civilians around the perimeter of it are being evacuated, I still have no knowledge of the cause. But the intensity and frequency have been constantly increasing in the past few days. As of today, we've already had three shocks, and we're still expecting at least two more."

"Are you sure you've evacuated everyone?" You pressed, unable to hide your nerves.

"Positive." Uiharu-san nodded. "Anti-Skill and Judgment are working together at the barricade. There shouldn't be anyone there."

You chewed on the nail on your thumb for a moment, trying to think. "Do you still have access to the security cameras in the area?"

Uiharu-san paused. "Uhm, yes, but why would you—"

You perked up. "Can you please check them?" You asked urgently.

Uiharu-san looked like she was about to deny your request, but when she saw the expression on your face, she faltered before nodding determinedly. "I'll do it right away."

In record time, Uiharu-san was able to show multiple feeds across the screen. There were less than twenty cameras in the area, and it didn't take long for the two of you to find what you were looking for.

More accurately, the spiky-haired boy you were looking for.

"That idiot." You growled under your breath, your fists clenching as you watched the black haired boy sneak closer to the Windowless Building.

Uiharu-san looked worriedly at the boy on the security feed. "How did he get past the barricade? It's dangerous there!"

"Uiharu-san," Your voice was serious as you spoke, and Uiharu-san can only stare at you as you said. "I would like to ask you a favour."

She nodded, wordlessly offering you her trust.

You swallowed a guilty lump in your throat before adding, "And if it's okay, please don't tell Kuroko about this. At least not until tonight."

She continued to be silent, as if contemplating on whether it was a good idea or not. But in the end, she just gave you a smile and said, "What do you need, Misaka-san?"

You smiled back. "I need you to..."


Author's Notes:

Hi. It's been a long time. I'm not sure if anyone is still waiting for this update, but if you are, thank you. I also thank those who has reviewed even though I haven't updated in years. I'll be honest, one of those reviews go through me so I decided to post this. (I may have also recently found out that some kind soul added quite a lot of my Kamikoto stories to their reddit Fanfic Recommendations which fueled me even more to post this.)

This is one of the chapters that had been 95% complete for a long time and I only recently completed for publishing. I have to say I'm not sure if it's going to be apparent, but it was difficult to get back to the writing style I had years ago haha. Not to mention, I'd basically forgotten the characters. I needed to be reacquainted to them. (Side note: Mikoto was a bit of a bad friend the entire story when I reread it, so I guess that's why it ended up like this haha)

With the quarantine still on going in my country, I'll try my best to see this through. And the first step is to get to know the characters again XD I'm gonna be watching the latest Railgun season so hopefully, that will be enough to jog my memory haha. I don't want to give you all false hopes though, so please don't expect quality chapters after this hahahaha

Well that's it. I have no title yet for next chapter so I can't give you any spoiler. Again, thank you for reading this and my other stories. It was the best part of liking To Aru back then.

Stay safe!

~~61wisampa