A/N: Balance once more, It broke my heart the way they painted Lisbon as so alone and lonely in the Lorelei juxtapositions and his exile time, so here we see a glimpse of what they might not have shown us. This chapter sees the emotional aftermath of the last case and the duo separated with Lisbon working from New York. Also, a fleeting re-introduction to one of my fave characters, a certain billionaire, of whom I also wish we saw more of on the show.

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English Breakfast, piping hot, best way to get the day up and running, Jane thought as he crossed the bullpen nursing his cup and saucer tentatively as he walked. As he passed, he noticed Lisbon's desk showed no signs of her being in at all for the morning. Odd, seeing as it was well past nine am.

"Lisbon not in yet?" Jane asked in confusion.

"She flew out this morning," Wylie offered. "New York office asked for an assist with a case, they think it might be linked to the Amanranthines and the other drug bust we had not long ago. Abbott sent Lisbon."

"Huh…" said Jane, not even trying to mask his disappointment. "Wonder why they didn't want me to go then?"

"Maybe they didn't want the drama," Vega piped up dryly as she tapped away at her keyboard. Jane shot her a look.

"We still have work here," Wylie quickly offered.

Work without Lisbon was like bread with no butter, pizza with no cheese, chips with no salsa. All a bit bland and dry for his liking.

Running away was normally his gambit. She was always the strong one that hung around through everything, dependable as the sun rises every morning. He was normally the one that needed time and space to process, or just to let heat pass. He reasoned with himself that she likely wasn't running away, merely did as ordered and get in Abbott's good books. He felt annoyed that she didn't tell him she was going. But then again, why should she even have to? They're not as close as they once were. It saddened him.

"We're up," Cho announced to the team, "picking up a case from state."

Jane sighed. The motions just felt like motions without him muse around.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A big yellow taxi ferried her from JFK to her hotel in midtown, as she stared out the window and the bustle and the skyrises. There was such a different air in Jane's return. She wasn't sure if he was the one that had changed, or whether it was her. The last case was too much, far too much, she felt so overwhelmed. The way he shamelessly crossed boundaries like he had never attempted before. Although these thoughts had perturbed her mind before, potentially being something she yearned for as well, there was something incredibly unnerving about anything coming to fruition. It made her feel things she couldn't control. And control was one of the things Teresa Lisbon lusted for her in her life. She needed to feel in control. It was quintessential to her being.

But if control is something you need, then being in the company of Patrick Jane is almost a masochistic game. He was unpredictable, antagonistic, and needed chaos to feed his own amusement and egotistical desires. He was a colleague, a friend, someone who had the ability to make her heart race and give her a headache, all in the same day. Someone who'd been in her life for so long. He'd always been a bit of a flirt, but all of a sudden in his return seemed so forthcoming in his advances. If they were even advances. She didn't quite know what to make out of any of it, or if it was all one big experimental long-con to him. Jane knew her better than anybody, and she knew him better than anyone too, which made it oh so ironic that she didn't really know where she stood with him, or where she wanted to stand for that matter.

There was an undeniable connection in their undercover antics of the last case, but tarnished by the fact it was all fake. It had to be a game for him. It had to be a situation where she couldn't easily refuse and where he had an easy explanation out later. It had to be a situation where her professionalism was on the line, where refusing or not playing along would come at a high price for the investigation. It added such a cloudy layer, a layer of pressure that wasn't fair to her, and he knew that. Whether she was attracted to him in the slightest, wasn't the point. The whole situation was a blatant disrespect to her, and she was mad. Really mad. She had been mad at Jane in the past, but this was new, this had a different kind of hurt. It was a disrespect that penetrated a little too deep into her psyche.

When the opportunity to assist with the New York office appeared, she jumped at it with an enthusiasm that surprised Abbott. She pushed for her presence in New York, even though only the option to assist remotely was requested, she convinced Abbott that she would be far more efficient this way. And she insisted that Jane was not essential to accompany her when Abbott offered. She needed to get away a little. Getting some space and clarity whilst still keeping busy with work seemed to be exactly what she needed.

Pierson case aside, there were so many other little moments. The rooftop, the white elephants, the shopping mall, the clinic. Was he more carefree because Red John was no longer the overarching factor in his life, making him question, doubt, and pull away from everything? Was she subconsciously expecting something to eventuate now there was no Red John cloud ominously looming over them? Or did they just not know how to act around each other now Red John was gone? Red John was the foundation of their relationship. The reason they met, the reason Jane came to work with the CBI, the reason Jane stuck with the CBI. It was their common goal, something they worked towards together. Initially for completely contrasting reasons, ones that seemed to meld together in the end.

And of course, she was attracted to him, how could she not be?

She had grown closer to him over the years, they had a strong friendship despite everything. They went through their ups and downs. And a lot of downs. They had seen each other at their low points, they had argued over almost everything that was possible to argue about with a work colleague, but they'd always work it out with an eventual mutual respect and understanding of each other. It brought them closer. Every day together, every argument, every scarring event and traumatic tragedy they crossed in their lives. Twelve years of almost daily bonding, and you end up with an inexplicable link of deep friendship. Deep friendship that maybe she was confusing with the potential to be something else, if it were indeed just games he was playing.

Especially considering he was still wearing his ring. Yes of course. His talisman, he wore as a reminder, and to ward off all female attention that a man with his killer good looks and magnetic charm would attract without even trying. He still wore the ring. She was reading into things too much again. Things were just like old times, and was likely that that was all things ever could be with Jane. She wasn't sure he'd even be capable of opening his heart again, of loving again, of feeling again. Most days, she wasn't sure if he even knew how to act like a normal human being. The ring was his symbol to keep everyone at bay.

But he was back. Back in Austin, not California. Back working in law enforcement, with no vendetta ruse, although shackled to the job for previous indiscretions. Back working directly with her again. The universe had a funny way of working. This was his prison sentence, but one he still did with his usual flair and unscrupulousness. He had no choice but to be there, whilst she had all the choices in the world. She was usually so sure of herself. So fiercely independent and grounded. She needed to figure herself out to be herself again, and New York City better help her get there, before she lost her mind completely.

NYC was busy, congested, and loud. Everywhere. She didn't hate coming to the city that never sleeps, but she was certainly glad she didn't have to live there. She threw her go-bag down on the bed of a room much nicer than what she was used to on these out-of-town cases. It wasn't all bad.

With a ding, a text appeared on her phone.

A little birdy told me you were in NYC. Dinner and some fun tomorrow? It's been too long.

She gave a little smirk. Maybe a little distraction and a little empty glamour was exactly what she needed right now. And if Walter Mashburn was good for anything, that was exactly it.

Sure :-) Her one-word reply.

Pick you up at 8:30? Send me the address.

With a quick reply, she threw her phone down with a grin, and went to freshen up before walking the two blocks to the New York Office.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jane walked shoulder to shoulder with Cho as they crossed the moor to get to their crime scene, off the beaten path of a hiking trail in a national park 20 minutes outside of Austin.

"Ah, nothing like the clear country air to reinvigorate your soul," Jane said with appreciation, staring up at the sky. "You can bet Lisbon's not experiencing anything like this right now, all up in that concrete jungle."

"You do realise she's pretty pissed off with you right?" Cho bluntly informed the charlatan, snapping him away from the high of his nature appreciation.

"Lisbon?" Jane questioned, "Why? Did she say something?"

"She didn't have to," Cho replied, indifferent about his obliviousness. "She's mad. Not buried-a-man-alive mad, but still pretty mad.

"No, she gets it," Jane dismissed with a crinkled brow and a nod.

"It's not like the old times," Cho pointed out, "this is the FBI."

"Yes, I realise this is the FBI, why does everyone keep telling me that?" Jane asked screwing up his face.

"Because you don't seem to realise who you're working for now and your behaviour and what you do is hardly federal bureau standard," Cho explained.

"Was it ever state bureau standard?" Jane challenged.

Cho sighed. "She was suspended over that shot she took at Amaranthine's."

"She wasn't really suspended, PSU cleared her in less than a day," Jane rebutted.

"She was questioned by the missing chucks in her body surveillance."

"We had to hide, we were searching the office and we nearly got caught," Jane reasoned.

"You were ordered to mingle at the party, not break into the house," Cho said a little more firmly, his patience being tested.

"The door was open, it was hardly breaking in," Jane debated, "plus there was nothing going on at the party, we needed the office. And we found out exactly what was going on."

"She got cautioned about you having her gun, official reprimand on her file."

"That's just a bit of paper in another bunch of papers. It doesn't mean anything," Jane dismissed with a flippant hand wave.

"Maybe not to you," Cho replied. "And it's not the first time she's given you her gun either."

"She didn't give it to me this time, I took it."

"Not to mention the way you disobeyed direct orders and got yourselves into that mess in the first place," Cho continued.

"Hey, Abbott was happy with that one," Jane interjected.

"You got lucky"

"You know me Cho, is it ever just luck?"

"Yes"

"Well, that's because you don't see the planning"

Cho deadpanned the consultant.

"So, she's really mad at me, huh?"

"Furious," Cho replied. "Ok, what have we got?" Cho asked the approaching uniformed officers.

Jane didn't really think about the aftermath of his little con and the effect it might have had on Lisbon. Then again, he rarely did. They achieved what they set out to do and more, and surely, that was all that mattered at the end of the day. The paperwork all had to be completed, but he knew Lisbon wouldn't be in any serious trouble as long as they were still closing cases. But that was indeed the old days, were things really going to be all that different at the FBI? After all, they were the ones that went to all that effort to track him down and have them work for him. He didn't mean to get Lisbon into any trouble, he would never intentionally make her suffer. After all, surely she benefitted from his track record too.

His antics had gotten her into trouble time and time again in the past. Hightower suspended her because of his actions, Bertram suspended the whole team after they executed one of his plans, with Lisbon surely coming close to losing her job. But just as he got her into the mess, he got her out just as swiftly. Then they'd all lost their jobs at the CBI because of him, although that was very arguably for the greater good, as fundamentally the CBI disintegrated because of the Blake Association corruption. Whilst she was incredibly skeptical and judgemental about his plans in the beginning, she because more trusting and happily compliant in the latter time of their partnership.

Jane supposed they'd jump straight back to the same level of trust and working efficiency, but perhaps he truly underestimated the damage of his time and distance Venezuelan hiatus, CBI breakdown, and the new bureau work environment. Maybe she was different, maybe he was different, but they together were definitely different. He felt foolish for even fantasizing about a potential romantic relationship when he wasn't even sure about how their friendship and work rapport had survived such a tumultuous time.

"Any ideas, Jane?" Cho's question jolting him from his thoughts, realising that he had completely tuned out most of the officer's rundown.

"Nope, nothing jumps out," he offered in vagility.

He had pushed boundaries in the last case. It was almost like he couldn't help himself. Everything about her appealed to his innermost longings. The way her wavy hair sat upon her shoulders, her jilted posture, always meaning business and ever-so confident in herself. Her emerald eyes masking her sensual and emotional side behind her tough veneer and the twinkle they bestowed as she jousted with him. The way she pursed her lips as she processed information, or read between the lines of his latest banter. He just wanted to be closer to her, he just needed to be closer to her. But in his ogrish maladroit attempts, he just managed to create a greater distance between them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Light piano music swirled the room as she peered down at the leather-bound menu. The restaurant was far from her normal speed, a trendy up-and-coming modern fusion in the heart of the Diamond District, but she was happily anticipating a good feed with a hint of indulgence. Her dinner partner sat pensively across the table. One Walter Mashburn, billionaire, and self-pronounced playboy, seemingly a little fitter than she'd last remembered, and looking quite the picture in his crisp, white business shirt.

They ordered their food and exchanged pleasantries. It was odd being on a date with him. If you could even call it a date. The only food they'd usually share was room service to his hotel room, or something his private chef had whipped up, it wasn't often they'd make a public appearance. But whatever this was, it was the perfect way to put more distance between herself and her conflicting issues. In a restaurant with a handsome billionaire far away from Austin. Far away from Jane and his nearly stolen kisses on the Vermont rooftop. Far away from those tantalizing eyes staring into her soul in clothing store changerooms. Far away from Jane and the surprises of an undercover coupling, tricks and ruses. Far away from Jane's hot lips across her neck, his body pressed up against hers, her fingers through those amazing golden locks.

She titled her head at Mashburn. He was familiar, but unfamiliar enough to be comfortably familiar. She was in complete control of this situation. There were no work repercussions, no mixed signals or manipulative undertones, no bullsh*t. Good food, empty glamour, hot sex. No surprises. No stupid feelings. Just the way she liked it.

She caught herself thinking that if she squinted hard enough and really concentrated, perhaps she could just pretend that he was someone else, someone else in particular that she wasn't able to get off her mind. She'd done it before.

The thought process really confused her. What was she even doing here? Why was she plotting to pretend Walter was anything but Walter, especially since her mind plague was now in the same country as her, and not only that, seemed to be flinging himself at her at every opportunity seemingly possible?

"Something on your mind, Teresa?" Walter asked, her apparent distracted state glaringly obvious.

"Yeah, just work stuff," she lied to dismiss his line of questioning.

He raised an eyebrow in askance and nodded in understanding. She'd always made it very clear she wasn't to talk about work-related business and he'd learned that prying never really gotten him anywhere.

"So you're FBI now, huh? That's gotta be pretty cool. I've gotta say, I don't think I've ever banged an FBI chick before," he said trailing off in thought.

"And it doesn't sound like you're going to any time soon with that vulgar attitude," she retorted.

"Gosh, you know I love it when you play hard to get," he said with a cheeky twinkle in his eye. "Okay, I'll play," he reached across the table and petted her hand. "I'm sorry. Let's start that again," he continued. "I hear you live in Austin now, that's got to be quite the change from Seattle?"

"How do you know I'm in Austin, Walter? Are you keeping tabs on me?" she snapped.

"Oof, so feisty! So, what if am I? I care, I take an interest. Aren't you going to ask how I knew you were in New York too?" he said with blasé.

She contorted her face and gave him a piercing, annoyed glare.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he continued with a squint, addressing her somewhat puerile snivelly mood, "I know you're not supposed to talk about work, but if you need to have a vague rant to get something off your chest, I'm all ears."

She gave him another dry look before reassessing. She was here to blow off a little steam, why was she directing every line of conversation into an argument? She sighed and secretly blamed Jane. She made him naturally so defensive about everything, made her second guess her own thoughts and feelings when the detective in her was normally so confident and direct.

"You're right sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me this evening," she said giving him a forced smile. "Austin's good, it's a lot warmer than Seattle. Not dealing with rain all the time has been nice."

"Texans not giving you a hard time? They can be a rowdy bunch."

She giggled, "no, it's all been smooth sailing so far."

"And the FBI gig, keeping you engaged?"

"It's definitely a different speed to the Seattle PD, that's for sure. But yeah, it's keeping me busy," she replied, taking a sip from her champagne. "You remember Cho, right? Worked on my unit with CBI?"

Walter screwed up his face to pick at his memory.

"Yeah of course. Solid and dependable number two of yours, right?"

"That's the one. He's my unit leader there in Austin. So, it's been really good working with someone so familiar again," she said fondly, taking a sip of wine.

"And Patrick?" he asked, causing her to spit her champagne slightly.

"What about Jane?" she rebutted.

Walter looked at her confused. "He's back in the country, right? FBI gig too, you guys would have to be in the same office, right?"

"So you are keeping tabs on me," she said this time with a humoured smirk.

Walter chuckled. "I keep tabs on a lot of things, Patrick's always amused me. Can't believe he shook off those charges, but then again, he's a brilliant man, it doesn't surprise me either."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile slightly. She needed to stop underestimating the men in her life.

"So, are you working with him again? Is he in your unit?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she replied morosely.

"Unfortunately? You guys worked so well together, like Batman and Robin"

"That's exactly the point too. I'm always going to be seen as his side kick"

"Au contrair, " Walter quickly debated, "you're the superhero, 100%. You're Batman, he's your Robin"

"Thanks," she said after a stifled chuckle.

"He was gone for a while, a few years right? Is it weird having him back? Is it weird working with Cho again?"

"Cho is amazing to work with. It's great being in his unit. But Jane, yeah. Weird, I suppose. It's just like old times. The good and the bad."

"I bet it's more interesting though"

"That's one way to describe it, I suppose. Yeah it is"

"But yeah, I get it. It'd be hard too, I'll bet. He put you through a lot"

Although her relationship with Mashburn was never really a conventional relationship by any accounts, it had indeed been going on for quite some time. Fleeting meetings once or twice a year, but he had gotten snippets through everything. From the first time they hooked up after the Bajoran case, to the second time he happened to reach out while they were working a case with Erica Flynn. As fate would have it, he called her out of the blue when he was back from his extended time in Europe. She was deep in a moment of anger, jealousy and hurt and he was the perfect distraction. "I need her," Jane's words about the convicted felon finding a gap in her armour, hurting her where she didn't realise she could be hurt.

Three-months into Jane's Vegas disappearance, Walter was the perfect distraction again. And then again. She wasn't eating or sleeping well, and Walter helped curb that emptiness and worry. And then again when she found out that Jane and Lorelei had been lovers. In a matter of days, Jane had reappeared, told her that he loved her and pretended to forget, only for her to find out that the seemingly celibate consultant was only human. Then again, she was only human too.

She found she even started seeking Walter out when she had to put up with long days of Jane obsessing over Lorelei and hiding in his attic. Their rendezvous became more frequent. Jane was pulling away from the unit, pulling away from her. The days he disappeared with Lorelei, even Bertram wasn't naïve enough to think there wasn't something happening between the pair. He was getting his, so she got hers. Sometimes she felt guilty about using Walter in such a way, until she reminded herself that Walter did the same to women in general. Her guilt hit a whole new level when once after the fact, she realised he was in an actual new relationship and she was the other woman. She stopped seeing him after that. She was truly mad with him for not telling her and allowing her to be in that situation, and was a real testament to his character. She would not allow it to be a testament to hers.

However, when the CBI dissolved, he heard the news and reached out, and took her away for the weekend. She wasn't the best of company, they didn't even have sex, which was normally what their whole relationship was based around. They didn't share a bed, or any intimacies, or really much conversation as she moped around wallowing in her own thoughts. But he was there, he gentlemanly, and he listened when she needed. The change of scenery was a welcome distraction, as was the good food, the spa massages, and the jacuzzi tub in her room. She didn't even care he went out on dates and brought other girls back while she was there. The penthouse they stayed in was big enough for her to have her own space and the finer things in life were welcome in her grieving process. She had never harboured any jealous emotions when it came to Walter. They had a mutual understanding. She knew what he was.

She hadn't seen him since he had visited Seattle on business, single once more. They went out for dinner, not unlike this one, purely because she appreciated a friendly face and was quite simply lonely. Missing the CBI, missing her old life, missing Jane. And after a few martinis squandered her inhibitions, she found herself in the bed of old habits once more. But it made her feel whole again, even if it was just one night, it was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Jane had pushed her into his arms the first time, perhaps for his own juvenile reasons. But little did he know his actions pushed her back into them time and time again.

"Yeah. We've been through a lot together," Lisbon answered his question somewhat wistfully. "So, Walter, what brings you to New York?" she asked to divert the conversation.

"The world of mergers and acquisitions, you know, the usual," Walter began as he went on to explain his latest business conquests. She politely listened, but didn't really absorb much of what he was saying. Her mind was rather aloof. She took another sip of champagne.

"… It's a risk, but what's life without a little risk? You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," Walter concluded

"Wayne Gretzky?" Lisbon asked.

"No, Michael Scott," he corrected. Lisbon raised an eyebrow. "My point is. Life's just too short for what ifs, sometimes you just have to go for it."

He wasn't wrong, as her thoughts flittered back to Jane once more. Sometimes you just have to go for it. The fallout couldn't be as bad as anything they'd been through before. Surely. She'd lost everything. She could do it again. Or could she?

They finished a pleasant dinner and filtered into the cocktail lounge on the lower floor of the hotel that housed the restaurant, a place humming with chatter amongst the background of soft blues.

"I've missed you, you know. You're quite unique, Agent Lisbon," Walter said, placing his hand on the small of her back as they walked in. It was a familiar feeling that always made her feel prized and cared for. It was such a gentlemanly gesture, but it wasn't Walter's hand that made it all so memorable and comforting. That was usually Jane's hand, making her feel safe and reminding her that she wasn't alone. Her lips thinned in frustration, as she realised Jane had entered her thoughts once more.

"Yeah?" she said a little dismissively as she stopped and turned to face him, a steely look of determination in her eye.

She stood on her tip-toes and looped her arms around the back of Walter's neck, and gazed up with a hint of stoic determination into the familiarity of his brown-eyed stare. She pulled him in and he closed the distance, kissing her ardently like he had many times before. It was nice, Walter certainly knew what he was doing, but she just didn't feel anything. There was no connection, it all felt kind of empty, purely biological with no passion, no flame. It was nothing like she'd felt as Jane wrapped his arms around her, as her body was up against his, the electricity she felt in his presence. And they'd never even kissed.

She was kissing a handsome billionaire and all she could think of was Jane. All she could do was picture his face, his smile that made her melt, the depth of his blue-eyes. And all of a sudden, it just all felt wrong. She suddenly felt repulsed by Walter, like she was doing something wrong, like she was committing a crime, although it was something she had done countless times before.

Dammit Jane.

"Well, that was unexpected," Walter purred, "I guess you really did miss me," he said with a cheeky wink.

Lisbon forced a smile.

"I'll go grab us a drink," Walter whispered sultrily into her ear as they pulled apart.

She watched Walter disappear into the crowd in the direction of the bar.

She pulled her phone out and typed hastily to the only woman she'd been able to rely on for a very long time. Grace.

SOS. Can you call me shortly and insist I need to be at work?

She hoped Grace had her phone handy and she hadn't caught her at a bad time.

Walter returned with two martinis in hand. Ugh, she thought. She remembered the last time her evening began with martinis, and judging by Walter's cheeky lustful gaze as he handed her the drink, he remembered it quite well too. They clinked glasses and Lisbon drew in a generous sip as the melody of her phone blared from her purse.

"Lisbon," she answered abruptly.

"New body new case blah blah. Are you okay?" Grace's reliable angel voice echoed from the other side of the line.

"Uh huh, okay. Send me the address," Lisbon faked in reply

"Yep will do miss hardcore FBI agent lady. Are you okay?" Grace insisted.

"Yes, just fine," Lisbon answered.

"Ok good," Grace replied, relief in her tone.

"I'll be there in 20," Lisbon continued with her ruse.

"Call me later and tell me about it?" Grace concluded.

"Sure thing," Lisbon agreed.

And with that, she hung up the phone.

"Sorry Walter, duty calls," she said to a clearly disappointed face.

"Ah, that's a shame. I was looking forward to a bit of a, you know, catch up," he said with a wink.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you have another girl on speed dial that could be here in a jiffy," Lisbon dismissed.

"None quite with the damaged intensity and beauty I admire in you," he teased and let out a sigh, "but yes fair Teresa, I will make do. Besides, the senator and I have some things we need to discuss," he said nodding in the direction of a stern, balding man.

She smiled at him and squeezed his elbow. "Good, so it works well."

"Shall I get the driver to take you back to your hotel? Or you heading straight to the scene, he could take you there too?" Walter offered.

"That's very kind, but I'll manage," she replied, "until next time," she farewelled him with a suggestive raised eyebrow and bit her bottom lip. She couldn't help it. Although she didn't want to do anything further with him tonight, there was something about Walter's charismatic playboy nature that brought out the sultry flirt in herself.

It wasn't long after she got back to the hotel that her phone went off again. Grace, ever so lovely Grace, following up to make sure she was okay. She reassured Grace she was fine, explained the situation (while leaving out all the Jane thoughts), and thanked her for being the easy out.

She flopped down onto her hotel bed in her empty room with a huff and blew the hair from her face. She stared up blankly at the ceiling, like she had done many a sleepless night in Seattle many times before. She knew it. It was hard for her to admit it, but perhaps it was time to perhaps admit it to herself at least. She had feelings for Jane that she couldn't deny any longer. Feelings more than friendship, more than a partnership, there was nothing platonic about it. She, Teresa Lisbon, had romantic feelings and intimate desires for Patrick Jane. There, she told her own mind, I admitted it, you happy? She exhaled deeply.

But whether she would do anything about it or let anything happen was a completely different story. There was something else, something she could easily admit to herself, and that was the simple, or not-so-simple fact, that she was scared. Petrified. She didn't like to let people in, no matter what her heart was trying to tell her to do, her brain was wired to protect herself. Opening up wasn't something that came naturally to her at all, life was far less complicated with everyone kept at arm's length. If you didn't let anyone in, you couldn't get hurt, and if you didn't get hurt, then you wouldn't have to work through painful emotions.

It was a system that worked for her, although Jane had managed to seep through cracks over the years and had successfully made her feel that hurt she was so determined to avoid, and that was without even being in any kind of non-platonic relationship. She knew anything with Jane was going to be epic – either an epically wonderful relationship built on an intense foundation of deep history and friendship, or an epic trainwreck that would completely destroy her.

But, there was a part of her too that 'just had to know'.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wylie flicked through pictures on a TripAdvice website on his laptop, while Jane snoozed on his couch nearby.

"Are there bears in Texas?" he spun and asked his desk neighbour, Vega.

"Probably. Why?" she mumbled in reply without looking up.

"We're staying in the woods this weekend for that team retreat, do you think there'll be bears?"

"Best pack your bear repellent," Vega advised.

"Wait, do they actually make that?" Wylie asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it's called your .38," Vega responded bluntly.

"Oh ha. You're not scared of bears?"

"I'm not scared of anything. Except Cho in a mood perhaps," Vega replied, eyes still on her task at hand.

"Hey Lisbon, you're back!" Wylie exclaimed as the senior agent strode through the bullpen and dumped her things at her desk. Jane's eyes shot open from his couch.

"How was New York?" Vega asked.

"Busy, " she replied. "Things went smoothly enough. Seems as though product that's ended up over there has come through our region first."

"Not surprising being so close to the Mexican border," Vega concurred.

"It's not a surprise most of our homicides seem to be drug-related, Texas is a hotbed for traffickers," Lisbon nodded, and wandered over to Jane's couch, where he sat quietly observing their conversation.

"Jane," she asked reservedly, "have you got a minute? Can we talk?"

"Yeah, of course," he replied, almost looking excited about the prospect and quite honestly relieved she was even talking to him.

They went into an empty office room and she shut the door behind them.

"Rumour has it I'm not your favourite person right now," he started.

'Well, for once the rumour mill might be right," she softly snarked back.

"I was afraid so," he uttered quietly, "you know it wasn't my intention."

"It never is," she dismissed. "Jane, I'm not the boss anymore. You don't need to wait until I need to know to tell me something"

"Yeah, you know, you're right," he said staring at his shoes.

"You need to stop keeping me in the dark. You need to stop roping me into situations where I'm forced to go along with your plans and jeopardise my career, because doing otherwise might blow the whole case," she continued, picking up impassioned speed.

"I know used to give you a lot of rope where Red John was concerned, but those days are in the past, aren't they?" she continued. "Would it kill you not to screw me over?"

"Yes, those days are in the past, the negative repercussions on you are never intentional. Yes, I got a little carried away with the last case, possibility for other motives," he mumbled the last line and continued. "But look Lisbon, you have to meet me half-way here. Sometimes I react as situations present themselves, we got far more out of that expo as customers than cops. Things wouldn't work if I had to pull you aside and explain every little thought I have and every little thing I want to try."

He looked her dead in the eye. "You've worked with me for how long? Why is any of this a surprise to you?"

"2 years without you Jane. I suppose it's taking some while to get used to you being back," she explained. "Or maybe I've grown tired of my career being in jeopardy."

"Maybe you just don't want to work with me anymore," he whispered woundedly.

"No," she answered hastily before he could even finish the sentence. "I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than being apart from you again," she said quietly, without thinking much about what she said.

He smiled. "Well, that's lucky."

She looked up coyly, to his bright boyish grin.

"But I also don't want to let whatever I might feel personally affect my professional altitude. Like I've said before, I'm still quite new here, both in law enforcement in Austin and with the bureau. I'm still trying to find my feet and establish a reputation."

"And what might you feel personally?"

She suppressed a grin and blushed, before rolling her eyes and looking away.

"Did you listen to any other part of what I said?" she asked.

"Yes, yes. New kid on the block. Professional. Reputation. Got it. You didn't answer the question though."

She didn't need to answer the question. One look at her eyes told Jane all he needed know and it thrilled his heart with delight.

"I got you something," she said avoiding his question once more with a cheeky, daring grin.

"Really? Something for me? Then you can't have been that mad at me then."

She raised her eyebrows at him in reticent warning. "Something small. Just a little tourist-bait style souvenir that made me think of you."

A glance of worry rolled upon his face. "It's not a fake turd, is it?"

She dug into her back pocket and bit her tongue, before proudly presenting him with a small velvet pouch.

He opened it apprehensively, giving her a questionable and excitable glance.

Inside was a gold key ring with a four-leaf clover, gold-plated in metallic green, green gems tracing along its outside curves.

"A little lucky charm. Some days, you need all the luck you can get. The little green gems reminded me of the emeralds you bought for me back in the day."

He ran his fingers over the key ring, feeling distinct bumps on the backside. He flipped it over to read its delicate engraving, "Fortune favors the brave," he read out loud.

"You've got to be one the bravest people I know," she said poking him in the shoulder, a playful gesture to help mask her shyness of what she had to say next. "The strength you had to keep going after what happened to your family, to bring so much good to the world despite your hurt."

"Not that much good. I've been labelled a mean, irresponsible sadist, amongst other very colourful descriptions."

"Yeah, and you get that a lot. I don't think many people have ever reminded you of the good you've done. And that's nothing to snuff at," her eyes sparkling as she spoke. "You're a good man, Jane."

"You're wrong, but that's very sweet of you." He looked at her, wordlessly touched. She wasn't wrong about the first part. Very rarely did he ever catch a compliment or have someone to be nice to him for no apparent reason. It had become a hazard of the existence he chose, fuelled by his eternal guilt. It was something she had noticed and not ignored. But a good man? That was taking things a step too far. He was still filled with self-loathing. She squeezed his arm gently.

"Catching Red John, leaving everything behind, coming back to the States, all of it. It took courage. Bravery. Strength. And as cranky I might get about how things turned out, we did a lot of good."

He nodded.

"I know you do things the 'Jane' way. I just want you to consider me to be your partner, loop me in, work things through with me, rather than hidden from me. You never know, I might have a useful perspective to contribute too? Maybe think of my interests too before you charge off on your tangents," she said emphatically. "And hopefully we can keep doing a lot of good together. We do make a good team."

"I'd like that," he breathed with an understanding nod, as he cradled the keyring thoughtfully.

"Good," she said with a grin and a shy shrug.

"Thank you for this," he said softly, reaching toward her and enveloping her in a big sanative hug. He felt indescribably relieved at her candour, the sweet gesture beyond anything he could have hoped for. It filled him with optimism - maybe they were okay despite everything, maybe he hadn't ruined things beyond repair, maybe he wasn't crazy for hoping. He relished her body tucked against him, feeling the rise and fall of her shoulders, her warmth that reassured him that come what may, it would all be okay in the end.

"So, fortune favors the brave…" he said as they pulled apart. "What's my fortune then?" he asked cheekily.

She leaned in towards him and grinned suggestively. "I guess we'll have to wait and see," she teased, before ushering him out of the room.