A/N: Remember that CBI retreat Lisbon talked about in 1x17 Carnelian Inc? New team, new bureau, it's time for them to benefit from that bureaucratic brainwashing, and of course, the infamous trustfall.
In this chapter, we get a break from the angsty introspection with a bit of light-hearted fun, filled with bursts of nostalgia. We get to know the team a bit better, and are introduced to some rival filler characters fresh for Jane to pick on.
Direct dialogue taken from 1x22 Blood Brothers.
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As he threw the last few things in duffel bag, the dull roar of a van horn echoed from the forecourt of the motel. He peeked through the blinds to see the grey people mover parked and waiting for him, an impatient Cho behind the wheel. He slung the bag, along with his jacket coat over his shoulder and scurried down to the car to meet the team.
'FBI retreat – the opportunity to bond as a new unit, as well as further develop trust and team morale, as well as the skills of leadership, teamwork and communication.' Lisbon read the start of the memo off of her Blackberry. She remembered doing a similar one for management at the CBI, which she actually found quite useful. She was hoping to reap the same kind of benefits from an FBI one, and relished the opportunity seeing as she didn't have any official federal training under her belt. However, as she watched the King of Chaos join them in the van, she was more than aware that there would be more than one way he would derail the weekend. By Jane's standards, this wouldn't fall in the realms of interesting, and she knew he would likely do asinine things to change that.
"Hi team," he said brightly as he slid the van door shut. Lisbon sat in the passenger seat, Cho driving, Wylie in the rearmost row. He took a seat in the centre row.
"Vega next, her apartment is on the way. Then the Balcones." Cho stated matter-of-factly.
"Should be fun. As long as there's no sky-diving," he feigned a shudder, "we all know how that can end."
As they drove along, they shared with Wylie the story of the Carnelian Inc case from yesteryear, Joe Q public, the tragic fate of the random skydiver, and of course, best of all, how Jane managed to get a confession from their CEO by using a bomb. They picked up Vega shortly after, she took a seat next to Wylie in the back.
"It had no explosives actually in it, but details, he didn't need to know that," Jane explained. "Can bet he wanted to kill me afterwards though."
"The DA wanted to kill you," Lisbon supplemented.
"When don't they?" scoffed Cho.
"Did you not get in trouble for that? That's hardly in line with any kind of protocols, I imagine," quizzed Vega, who caught the tail end of the story. "Did the confession even hold up?"
"Me? Trouble? No?" Jane dismissed. "And that's the lawyers' problem, not mine."
"The trouble normally fell on me," Lisbon reminisced dryly. "He closes cases, he closes 'like a fiend' to quote our old boss. So, he tends to get away with most things." She turned to Jane and looked at him sternly. "Most," she reiterated. Jane smirked back, flashing his pearly whites in his trademark, devastating grin.
"Ehhh, they can't stay mad at me for long," Jane admitted cockily.
"No joke. A get out of jail free card and a free flight back from the middle of nowhere," she said disbelievingly. "Law enforcement's golden boy."
"Yeah, their close numbers must have really sucked," Jane agreed. It was a bit much, but he wasn't complaining.
"There was a lot of restructuring after they broke the encryption on that USB we found in Bertram's cellar, the whole Blake Association was ripped to shreds. It went as far as Washington. Judges, DA's, basically every law enforcement agency had someone on the list. I think it's been pretty messy for a while," Cho offered in explanation.
"Must have been pretty desperate to pull you back in," Lisbon said mockingly.
"I have undeniable skills, Lisbon," Jane bantered back
"Ha, skills is one word for it," Lisbon countered.
"You are psychic, right? Or were psychic?" Wylie chimed in.
"No such thing as psychics," Jane stated.
"He just reads people well and is a jackass about it in the process," Lisbon explained dryly.
"I'd disagree, but that's a pretty fair description," Jane concurred. "Jackass is a bit strong, I would've settled for slightly contemptuous and arrogant. I have a little fun with it, so what?"
"Your fun tends to get you punched in the face," Lisbon chortled.
She wasn't wrong. "Says one who actually punched me in the face," Jane retorted.
"You totally deserved that. And I actually did quite enjoy it," Lisbon reminisced fondly.
"So, the slap at Blunt place was a normal occurrence?" Vega asked.
"I get a better read on people when they're a little hyped up, the unfortunate side-effect to that is when you run in to those already predisposed to violent tendencies, just like Agent Lisbon," Jane explained.
"Oh shush you," Lisbon retorted.
"It's crazy to think the three of you worked together in the CBI in Sacramento, then somehow you all ended up in the same team again in Austin." Vega observed.
"Not so crazy," Cho interjected. "They chose me as new team leader, they read my file and saw my link to Jane. And if you want Jane to do anything bureaucratic, you're going to need Lisbon."
"I resent that," Lisbon quickly rebuked. Jane threw his hands up in agreeance.
"How long did the three of you work together, in the same unit?" Vega asked.
"Cho was on my team when I first was promoted to unit leader with the CBI, so what? 13-years ago? Geez, Kimball was it really that long ago? So, we worked together 11 years before everything went down with the CBI."
"Is it strange?" Wylie asked. "Being his boss for so long and now he's your boss."
"Wylie, you can't just ask that," Vega scolded with a hiss.
Lisbon laughed, "No, not at all. We've worked together for such a long time, he is a magnificent agent. The best. I know how he operates, and a lot of that comes from what he's learnt over the years from us working together. His style is very similar to my style. And now he has the responsibility for all the paperwork and the higher-up heat. It's actually quite nice." She looked over affectionately at Cho and caught a rare half-smile.
"And when did Jane join you?" Vega followed up.
"A couple years after that," Lisbon thought out loud, "but it feels like longer. Every year with Jane counts as two."
"Oh, come on, Lisbon. You say things like that but you know we had some fun," Jane teased. "You'd be bored without me."
Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Bored and less stressed."
"Wow. 11 years ago, I was still in middle school," Wylie observed.
"Just a baby," Jane smiled. "So, what's your stories?" Jane asked turning to the pair in the back row, even though he could probably tell them himself just by looking then.
"Oh, come on Jane, like you couldn't tell them their own stories," Lisbon scoffed.
"I'm just trying to be polite," Jane mused, impressed by Lisbon's little mind reading display of her own right there.
"Go on. Flex your silly little mentalist muscle and razzle dazzle them with your skills. They're going to have to get used to them, working with you"
"Silly little mentalist muscle? Razzle dazzle? Really, Lisbon?"
"Yeah, go on. What have you figured about me?" Wylie challenged.
"And me," Vega piped up
"Ok, Wylie… you grew up somewhere away from the big smoke, somewhere with a country hick kinda vibe. I want to say rural Illinois, no, Indiana. You've liked computers and programming and all that stuff since you were quite young, which confused your parents, especially your father, who was a blue collar worker, did something with his hands. Mechanic, I think? You flew through school easily, bit of a trouble-maker, enjoyed a good prank. Finished college and FBI training in half the time. But you excel with your skills not because you're driven to win, no, there's none of that in you. You do it because it's fun, because you enjoy the challenge, because leaving people amazed amuses you, because you like programming and analysing and all that. You also surprise people that an IT analyst is such a so aptly competent with firearms, you broke at least one record in the academy. You're a sharpshooter. Loyal to a fault, Abbott likes you, you had your choice of offices but chose Austin because of history you had with Abbott," Jane rambled.
"But you made your way onto the team so early because you did something to prove yourself to Abbott?" Jane asked. "What was that?"
"The encrypted USB that was found on Bertram, you know that Blake Association one? While I was still in training, I managed to break the encryption, gain access to the full list" Wylie explained while looking amazedly at Jane.
"Ah yes, when many older and wiser than you had failed," Jane nodded.
"Wow, he's good," Wylie interjected, looking at Vega in amazement.
"Nice try, you've read our files," said Vega sceptically.
"You Vega, okay something not in a file. Your favourite ice-cream flavour is vanilla, not because you actually like the flavour, but because you find the colourings and deviating from the norm to be pretentious and unnecessary. Not an idea original from you, but something your father would always say when he took you out for ice-cream. You adored your father, idolised him even, but his army background made him cold and soldier-like and craved that warmth from a father's hugs. That's why you'll do well in law enforcement, you're not attracted to the overly macho, stoic type, but a warm, soft soul. That's why you also tend to be the heartbreaker, you're the dominant one in your relationships, not that you date often. Similar to Miss Lisbon up there," he said pointing at the front seat.
Lisbon scowled with an annoyed "pffft" as he continued, "You tend to date down to make sure you can maintain control, but relationships never last for long, because they often make you guilt ridden, so it's easier just to run away. You're often worried that you'd never be good enough for your father, that's why you'd push so hard. You still worry that, even though he's now dead, and even more so that you dropped out of your West Point. But you needn't worry, the dead don't care. Oh, and you have a soft spot for daytime soaps, especially ones in Spanish, your guilty pleasure. You can give any gamer a good run for their money in first-person-shooter games, and love a good bowl of paella, but think it's blasphemy if they don't add enough heat to it."
"I'd-, How-," Vega stammered. Lisbon chuckled and shook her head.
"So, how'd I do?" Jane asked cockily with a grin.
"How did you know all that? I've never told anyone some of those things?" Vega asked incredulously.
"Are you sure you're not psychic?" Wylie asked again.
"No such thing as psychics," Jane's default response.
"See, like I said, reads very well, with just a hint of jackass," said Lisbon with a forced, sarcastic smile.
A ripple of laughter waved throughout the van.
"So," Jane said turning to Wylie, "what other names were on that list?"
Before they could get into it, they pulled into the Doeskin Ranch in amidst the Balcones Canyonlands National Park, a large log cabin looking structure akin to the summer camp buildings on many coming-of-age movies, in amidst forest lands.
"Ahhh, can't beat that air," Jane said approvingly as they disembarked the van.
They wandered into the log lodge, duffels over shoulders. They spotted the members from the other serious crimes unit loitering in the communal lounge area.
"What do we know about them?" Jane whispered to Cho, as they waited to be shown to their rooms.
"Clarence Spackman, the tall one, he's the leader. Been with the Austin office for the better part of a decade power hungry but not the brightest crayon in the box. McDowell is their rookie, young gun, fresh out of the Quantico, has potential. The girl, Farrell, new-ish transfer from the Atlanta office, been around for about six-months. Ex-marine too, but bit of weird streak. Collins very old school, he's Spackman's right hand man, he's been on his team for a while. And I don't recognise the last one," Cho concluded, indicating to the timid brown-haired man with glasses biting his nails as he sat in an armchair away from the rest of the team.
Jane nodded at the information, as he continued to observe them. A lodge staff member showed them to their rooms on the second floor. The wood panelling continued on the inside, as they were led down a long green carpet runner that extended the lengthy hallway. It was just door after door on the left and the right at least 6 on either side. They were each assigned their own bedroom containing a rustic four-poster bed, small table framed with two wooden chairs, a well-loved 2-seater couch, and the door to a small ensuite off to the side. It was well-appointed, simple and didn't smell terrible, always a plus in Jane's books. Jane made an active effort to make sure he had a room next to Lisbon's, and was successful in his approach, with a room next to Wylie, and Lisbon on the other side at the very end of the hallway.
He bounded out of his room to Lisbon's and rapped on the door.
"Did you bring your floral party dress?" he asked affably.
"To a wilderness retreat?" she questioned disbelievingly, "no, I did not."
"Ah, that's a shame. I brought my blue jeans," he said with a coy wink.
She smirked at him and followed him out into the hallway so they could meet with Abbott in the communal lounge for his opening address.
"Welcome everyone. Happy to see you all here. Now, I know many will roll their eyes at a retreat like this, but they still offer great benefits, so I hope you'll all at least be willing to keep an open mind about the weekend," Abbott wearing unusually casual clothes addressed the ten of them.
"We have our two newest formed teams in the serious crimes division in this lodge. Both of you have people in your teams that have worked with you for a long time, and ones that are relatively new. I am hoping this weekend will encourage and facilitate cohesiveness and a foundation of trust within your teams. Help you get to know each other better, so you can harness each individual's strengths and identify areas that may need support. Learn how to communicate with each other better away from the stresses of the team. Leadership, trust, teamwork, and communication are the key pillars we wish to develop this weekend. As well as inspire a bit of competitive drive as you get to know the other team, a bit of healthy competition never went astray. Your teams both comprise of a Special Agent in Charge – Cho and Spackman, a senior agent, Lisbon and Collins, two agents with less than 5-years bureau experience, and a consultant, Jane and Williams… you measure up quite well," Abbott continued.
Jane glanced over at the timid man he saw in the armchair earlier. Must be their consultant, he thought. He wondered what his consultant schtick was. He got a real analyst kinda vibe about him, maybe he was like Dr Montague and into statistics and predictive models and all that mambo jambo.
"As an incentive to bolster our current miserable statistics," Abbott continued with his speech, "the bureau is also offering a trip away to the Caribbean to the team that has the highest close rate leading to conviction at the end to attend an international conference, with the losing team to cover for their overtime. Just a little something fun to get you all kicked into drive."
Jane's eyes lit up at 'highest close rate' and then dimmed just as quickly with 'leading to conviction.' There was a reason he wasn't popular with the DA's office. Key West sounded good though, nice white beaches. He wondered if Lisbon was the bikini type? Or something more conservative? He was amazed that in a decade, he'd never been swimming with her. She would definitely rock a bikini, thinking about the beach back on the island and how he'd often fantasise about her being with him. And yes, in these daydreams of his, she was far from shy and did don a tasteful bikini. He caught himself staring at Lisbon again, as she hung on Abbott's every word, and forced himself to tune back into to his ceremonial ramble.
Abbott walked around the room distributing papers. "We have a program of activities you will be participating in, if you could please refer to these run sheets," he said as the sound of rustling papers filled the room.
"I have high expectations for both your units, they both have tremendous potential and I'm looking forward to proactiveness, excellence and exemplary results in the near future," he said, before finishing with basic logistics.
They broke off and Jane beelined for the kitchen, eager for a cup of tea, as the rest of the team followed.
"Communication seminar, ice-breaker games, ugh I hate those, campfire social tonight," Vega read from the program as Jane and Lisbon pottered making their hot drinks. "Leadership seminar, paintballing skirmish, ooh that sounds like fun, BBQ lunch and orienteering tomorrow," she continued. "Gosh this really does sound like a school camp."
"Interesting the way they've pitted us against each other too," Jane observed, "didn't think that was the bureau's style."
"Key West sounds good though, let's work on not pissing off the DA when we close cases, hey?" Lisbon teased Jane.
The leadership seminar was as dry as Jane expected. Vega's vigilant note taking amused him, as he took the opportunity to observe the others around the room while punctuating the monotony with witty comments and vexatious questions to amuse himself. After an hour of inane ramblings and pointless exercises, they could themselves back in communal lounge room with Spackman's unit. The traditional ice-breaker fluff, a quick intro and a fun fact. The incessant meagreness was close to intolerable, but seeing what people decided to share with such a group was often quite revealing in itself. Open mind, thought Jane, psyching himself up to behave. This indeed could be quite interesting.
Abbott volunteered the newest member of Spackman's unit to go first, the timid little man Cho didn't recognise.
"Hi, I'm Chad Williams," he began, "I'm a statistic and predictive analysis expert, have just began consulting with Spackman's team. I have also just finished my training at Quantico, to better equip me for the role, so I'm a fully-fledged agent now, not just a consultant. Fun fact about me, um, I like sailing, I own a 20ft sailboat. Yeah, I used to go out on it the all the time with my dad. There's just something so calming about being out on the open water, pushed along by just nature's wind."
So he was right, Jane thought. Another Dr Montague. This one didn't seem as uptight as her though, same nervous nerd vibe that tended to come with the mathematical territory, but a distinct cold almost villainous undertone. Williams caught Jane's eye, he could definitely sense there was more of a story there, maybe one littered with tragedy like his own, he wasn't sure. But it interested him.
"Cassie Farrell. I served three years with the corps, three years at the Atlanta office. Fun fact, I have an interest in the occult. No nothing like that," she explained as she noticed the reactions around the group, "I don't have powers, but I'm open to the possibility that they may exist. I like to do my research and am aiming to find good, solid proof – if it even does exist. I'm actually writing a graduate paper, slowly slowly," she chuckled, "on my findings."
"Oh jeez, save me," Jane whispered under his breath, but loud enough for most to hear.
"Stop that," Lisbon whispered back with a swift elbow to his ribs.
"How about you go next then, Jane," Spackman suggested with a tone of malice in his voice.
Ok, time to have a bit of fun then, Jane thought to himself, as a mischievous grin appeared on his face that made Lisbon recoil in fear.
"Hi, I'm Patrick, but most people call me Jane. I'm a Virgo."
"That explains a lot," mumbled Farrell
"Actually, that tells a lot more about you than me," Jane quipped back without missing a beat. "Much like Williams, I am a consultant, not an agent though, just a consultant. I get paid to hang around and pay attention. And to keep the team, especially Cho and Lisbon entertained of course. Speaking of which, Lisbon, you got a quarter I can borrow?"
Lisbon poked her tongue out the side of her mouth and dug into her pant pocket, fished out a quarter and handed it to Jane.
He flicked it up into the air and caught it in his palm.
"A coin has two sides, but only one side can be face up at one time. Pain and peace, Anger and calm, evil and justice," he flicked the coin up again, and again as he spoke, his whole audience watching the coin and hanging off his every word. Apart from Lisbon, who stared at his face directly, half-concerned this was a meagre attempt to hypnotise the whole group. Jane continued, "and around and around it goes, to and fro, swapping between the two in a fleeting moment, until it stops."
He flicked the coin up one more time and caught it dramatically with a clap. He rubbed his hands together, and opened them slowly, revealing his empty hands, the coin nowhere to be seen.
"Until one day, the coin is gone," declared Jane proudly. "Et voila"
"Is that how you made the murder charges disappear?" Spackman asked dryly.
"Which time?" Jane snapped back sassily. "The first guy? Or the second lot of murder charges, where they might have been trying to nail me for a double because I shot another guy in self-defense?"
The room became eerily silent with an awkward tension.
"Or maybe the time before all that where I got the guy with the shotgun? So hard to keep track of these things after a while," he humoured as he turned to a disdained Lisbon, her head in her hands.
"So, who's next?" Jane coaxed.
"Jane," Abbott said sternly, "a word please"
"Oh, can it wait? Please. I'm busy bonding here, very important"
"Now," Abbott scowled.
"If you ever need a man to get you off a murder charge, this is the guy," he said pointing at Abbott as he rose to join him, "works wonders. Oh, and the coin, it's in Farrell's left pocket."
Outside of the room, he tried to keep a serious and sorry face while Abbott firmly rambled away, admonishing him.
"Sorry, I just figured it would all come out eventually, best take the bull by the horns, hey?" he defended.
"Let's try and keep the skeletons of the past buried where they belong," Abbott replied, motioning for him to rejoin the group.
He took his seat to catch the end of Lisbon's story, explaining her slight baseball fandom and how her fondest childhood memories were playing the game with her three brothers.
"So that's me," Lisbon concluded.
"Interesting," Spackman started. "I thought you'd go a similar route as this clown here and tell us all about how you were involved in all that CBI corruption scandal and arrested by the FBI for your involvement."
"So much for skeletons in the closet," Jane murmured to a gobsmacked Abbott.
The tension in the room went from zero to one hundred in one sentence.
"An extensive ring of corruption that OUR team exposed," Cho emphasised bluntly, coming to Lisbon's defense.
"Oh yeah, who could've forgotten you were there too? Well, most people. Underling to a little girl for over a decade," Spackman jeered.
Cho jumped up angrily, sneering in his direction. Wylie and Lisbon jumping up behind him, making sure their boss wouldn't do anything stupid.
"Nice to see you've taken the time and interest to read our files, but I think it's your turn, Clarence," Jane mocked as he sank further into the couch. "We're getting a little off track here, how about you tell us a little bit about your women trouble and egotistical superiority complex."
Spackman flashed Jane a haughty look of derision as Cho, Wylie and Lisbon slowly sat back down.
"Do you want me to do it? Here let me help. Judging by the tan line on your left hand, you're in the midst of a divorce. Second one? No Third one, yikes, that's pretty depressing. Me, I'm a glass half-full kind of guy, that's a pretty good boost to the ego that you convince three different women to marry you, that's pretty impressive. The wedding ring's off, you've been trying to get back in the dating game, but with all these new apps and what not, you're punching way above your league and you're finding this frustrating. Twenty-first century girls are all so woke nowadays, so your usual tricks and charm isn't working. That and the motel you've been staying at during your pending divorce isn't quite the chick magnet. The sunken eye bags tell me you haven't been sleeping well, or have been drinking a lot more than usual. Callouses on your knuckles mean you like to punch things, I don't see you as much of a boxing man, you don't have the physique to match, so is that why your wife left you? You were beating her, punching holes in walls, that kind of thing?"
Spackman jumped up, and similar to Cho, Collins and Farrell jumped to hold him back.
"You son-of-a-"
"Hey, hey, hey okay this isn't exactly going the way it should be. Why all the hostility?" Abbott asked.
"Well, at least there's some great teamwork going on here within the teams, everyone's quick to jump to their own defence," Jane pointed out. "There's just a bit of fragile masculinity over on that side—"
"That's quite enough, Jane," Abbott scolded. "How about we do a little get-to-know-you in as separate team units and we'll see you all at the campfire later?"
"Sounds good to me," Lisbon backed up the boss quickly and with vigour, as she jumped up to leave the room. The rest of Cho's team followed.
The five of them all gathered back in Lisbon's room, Cho rustled up a bottle of scotch while Wylie nicked five glasses from the kitchen. Cho poured each of them a drink, Vega and Lisbon sitting on her bed, Wylie and Jane on the couch, before Cho took a seat on the floor to form somewhat of a circle, his back up against the cupboard.
"Ok, drinking game then," Vega suggested with the enthusiasm of a teen girl on a sleepover. "Keep it simple, Never have I ever. We all know how to play that right?"
There were some murmurs in acknowledgment.
"Ok, so if you've done it, you have to drink," Vega reiterated. "I'll go first. Never have I ever gone skinny dipping."
To their surprise, Cho was the only one who took a swig from his cup.
"Really, Lisbon?" Jane asked, "you've never gone skinny dipping? Pfft."
"Yes, I'm quite a private person, I'll have you know," she replied airily.
"Oh is that, so?" Jane retorted.
"Ok, Cho, you go," Vega instructed.
"Never have I ever been incarcerated," Cho said, both his and Lisbon's heads whipping around to Jane.
"Oh come on, you know I have," Jane argued. "Do I need to take two drinks?"
"Yes," Vega insisted.
He sighed and took a decent gulp from his glass, cringing as the big hit of scotch burnt the back of his throat.
"What were you locked up for?" Vega asked
"They make it out to sound like a big deal, really it wasn't," Jane tried to explain as he cleared his throat.
"Oh, so murder isn't a big deal then? Silly me," Lisbon mused.
"I was only in until I posted bail and then the jury declared me not guilty, all a big misunderstanding," Jane continued.
"You still killed him," Lisbon debated.
"Meh, details," Jane dismissed, "and not according to the jury."
"And the other time?" Wylie asked.
"Eavesdropping on a state agent, honestly, I was just listening in on a colleague because they kicked me off of the case. I was in for a few days, I broke out to solve a case while I was in there. He dropped the charges, thank you Lisbon, no harm no foul."
He thought of laying on a bantering taunt with how in love Bosco was with Lisbon, but he thought better of it. He knew that was one of the harder deaths she had to live through in her adult life. He exchanged a knowing look with Lisbon across the room and she gave him a knowing nod, as if to say thanks for not being a tool. He couldn't help but grin a little. He loved that they knew each other so well, they could have a conversation made from little glances across the room and they just understood each other.
"Ok, my turn," Jane started, a cocky little glint in his eye. "Never have I ever slept with a billionaire," his face nearly collapsing in on itself as he watched Lisbon's reaction. She reluctantly took an inconspicuous sip from her cup.
"I knew it," laughed Jane.
"Lisbon wow really?" Vega asked her impressedly before shuffling a smidge closer to her on the bed. "How'd that come about? Who was it? Was he famous?"
"No comment," said Lisbon, her face turning a shade of pink.
"Oh come on, Lisbon," Jane taunted, "give the people what they want."
She made a face at Jane and refused again. "I said I was a private person. Okay, my turn. Never have I ever slept with a known felon," changing the topic passive-aggressively.
"Oh ha ha," Jane replied. "I know what you're getting at and no, I didn't sleep with that one and furthermore, neither was a felon at the time. So, I'm not drinking."
Lisbon crinkled her forehead in response.
To their surprise, both Wylie and Vega took a drink as well.
"Care to elaborate on that one?" Lisbon asked curiously.
"What can I say, I didn't realise they were until afterwards," Vega explained nonchalantly.
"I'd prefer not to comment," Wylie admitted nervously. It made Jane wonder if his choice of partner was in fact a working girl, as he made Wylie uncomfortable while peering at him curiously.
"Why are you looking at me like that," he demanded, "stop it."
Jane stared at him some more, a little more intonation in his glare.
"Okay so her name was Velma. Big Vel. She was a horse thief," Wylie blurted.
They all laughed.
"Okay, if this is the vein we're going to play," Jane started flashing Lisbon a mischievous grin, "Never have I ever called off an engagement."
They all laughed and looked at Lisbon nervously as she turned bright red in the face, the reddest Jane had ever seen her go. The glint in her eye was positively murderous, with an evident streak of shame and guilt. He had no idea the thought of Tayback would elicit such a vivacious response from her. He didn't understand why everyone else went so sullen though.
"Never have I ever made a video at a matchmaking service," she coyly countered to shift the heat.
"Never have I ever been attacked by a German supermodel with a kitchen knife," he rapid fired back.
"Never have I ever sent a Lamborghini over a cliff," she countered just as quickly.
"Never have I ever danced on stage with a drag queen," he giggled.
"Yeah, well, that was terrifying. She was very limber," she admitted, "Never have I ever started a brawl, cathartic or otherwise."
"Never have I ever been shot by a colleague's fiancé."
"Never have I ever crashed into several parked cars trying to drive while clinically blind. At the state bureau headquarters no less." She kept the rapid fire pace going.
"Van Pelt had real poor judgement when it came to men, hey? Or just unlucky," he replied and took a beat to think. "Never have I ever thrown a chair through a glass window at work," he continued with a grin, enjoying her reactions.
"Never have I ever broken a window at work with a diamond and fire extinguisher, or lit a fire on the roof that could've taken the whole building down!" she replied exasperatedly.
"Never have I ever given my service weapon to a civilian on a murderous rampage."
"That was you, Jane, you! Never have I ever buried a man alive!"
"Well, he wasn't technically buried… just in a coffin in a hole in the ground. Ha, you were so mad," Jane recollected somewhat fondly. "Never have I ever been mandated to take six months' worth of anger management classes because of my violent outbursts."
"Because of you again! Never have I ever hired an ex-felon to break into my boss's home!" She threw her hands up contemptuously.
Wylie and Vega's heads turned from side to side rapidly, as if they were watching a game of tennis, amused by the verbal sparring match between the two seniors on their team.
"Uhh, never have I ever faked my own death at work," Jane continued with a tone of aggressive flair.
"Ha! Never have I ever put a wig on melon and pretended it was a girl!" Lisbon attacked, "And then rode around with it in a bicycle basket"
Wylie snorted with laughter.
"Well, see, that one was you. Kind of. Never have I ever punched a co-worker," Jane continued with a grin.
"You deserved that! Never have I ever been slapped in the face by a victim's grieving family member," she retorted.
"Never have I ever been arrested by the FBI, eh, you have to drink to that one too Cho," Jane prompted.
"You guys haven't been drinking," Cho pointed out as he took a much needed swig of his drink anyway.
"Never have I ever drank random tea at a crime scene and needed to get my stomach pumped," Lisbon added dramatically, "and then tried to steal an ambulance!"
He looked a Lisbon and smiled. He slowed their repartee, he enjoyed these friendly jousting matches with her, it was a part of what made their friendship so fun and exciting. He loved that she challenged him, that she never backed down, her strong will and her willing sense of humour. It was the type of thing that made their connection so strong. He was overwhelmed with their quick-fire history, all the moments they'd shared with each other over the years, everything they had been through together.
"Never have I ever wandered out into an ice cold lake in the middle of the night to drag a clinically dead man from the waters and save his life," he said a little slower and more calculatedly, giving Lisbon a humbled look of thanks.
"Never have I ever used a shotgun to kill a police officer to save an agent's life, even though it meant sacrificing something really important to me[39]" she replied, matching his tone and manner, the corners of her mouth creeping up.
"Never have I ever run into a burning building to rescue a man that annoyed me within an inch of my life."
"Never have I ever fabricated evidence, and lied and manipulated a director into getting my friend's job back."
"Never have I ever saved the same person's life at least a dozen times. Seriously, that person shouldn't get themselves into so much trouble," he joked matter-of-factly.
"Never have I ever given someone a pony for their birthday," Lisbon concluded with a snort.
They both laughed.
"So, if that's not the most accurate description of working with Jane and Lisbon, I don't know what is," Cho commented.
"You guys are nuts," Wylie continued after a lull, "Ok if you guys are done, my turn then."
They played a few more rounds and shared a few more laughs, slowly trickling through the scotch. Wylie was far more outgoing than he thought, Vega was hilarious too. He was so drawn to the way Lisbon smiled across the room, the way the dimples appeared in her cheeks and the sparkle her eyes made. And it was also always nice to see the softer side of Cho.
With about half the bottle gone and all of them a bit cheerier, but far from intoxicated, they peeled off to their own rooms to get ready for the campfire. As the night fell, it got cooler quickly. Jane hung back as the others disappeared.
"Well, that was interesting," Jane started.
"Yeah, it was actually quite nice just to chill out with them like that," Lisbon admitted. "Even with your inane questions."
"Oh, like you didn't dish it straight back?" he chuckled.
He ducked into his own room quickly to grab a thicker coat before heading back into Lisbon's room.
"What do you think tonight's going to be like?" she asked
"There's a bit of testosterone flying about," Jane said, "Spackman is a man with a big ego and something to prove."
"Mmmm," Lisbon agreed.
"I love a good campfire though, I hope there's marshmallows," he said as he flashed her a cheeky boyish grin.
That smile. That damn smile. It got her nearly every time. Her face warm from the scotch, she decided to reach out and breach the wall of awkwardness that they had a reputation for avoiding.
"Hey Jane," she started apprehensively before she could stop herself. "I've been meaning to ask. What… what exactly did you mean by 'you just have to know." She was sure she knew what he meant, but she was aching to hear it first-hand.
"When did I say that?"
"Oh like you can't remember, Mr 'my memory palace is a mighty fortress'"
He smirked. "Yeah, okay. You got me. The shopping trip, Right," he admitted. "That was a lot more fun than I expected it to be."
He gave her such a deep and warm smile that confirmed in her mind that he had thought back to those fleeting moments just as much as she had.
"It was… interesting, to say the least," she concurred.
"Well…" he started with a deep breath. I had a lot of time along with my thoughts on the island. A lot of time. And I thought a lot about my life, what had happened…"
"Mmhmm," Lisbon punctuated with a raised eyebrow
"And I thought a lot about you. I've told you before, you don't know how much you've meant to me, how much you mean to me. I feel for you very deeply. The bond we had, and I feel like we still have, is so strong. And special"
Her heart started to race as the words toppled from his mouth.
"I just wanted to know, and still would like to find out, what it might be like, or if there was ever…"
KNOCK. "..the.." KNOCK "…possibility of …" KNOCK KNOCK.
His last words drowned, so she didn't hear them by a banging on the door as if swiftly swung open.
"Ready to head down to the campfire," Vega said as she stuck her head in. "Cho reckons we should go down as a united front."
"Yeah, we're ready," Lisbon said, grabbing her jumper before they followed Vega out the door and down the hall.
They walked outside to Abbott stoking a freshly made fire with the help from Williams and McDowell, the rest of the Spackman unit already gathered by the fire.
"Hey Spackman, I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot earlier," Jane said as he extended a hand to him, "no hard feelings, hey?"
Spackman gave him a judgement look back and shook his hand reluctantly in return. "Yeah, whatever man. No hard feelings."
Cho held out his hand too and they shook it all the same. Everyone took a seat around the campfire. There was always something so hypnotising about a campfire. The way the flames twisted, turned and frolicked, the whispering crackles and intermittent pops, the emanating heat and allure, the wafting of burning pine. A symbol of warmth and light, but also destruction and burning.
They had fun with the jaffle irons, making their own toasted sandwiches in the flames, laughing at each other's sordid creations, and the way the cheese stretched and dribbled with each delicious bite. They mainly kept to their own units, but some friendly conversations were made in between in an effort to be cordial.
The whiskey came out as they started sharing ghost stories. Farrell eagerly shared an in-depth occult story about a witch who was burnt at the stake at his hallowed ground, complete with 'ooooo' ghost noises from the rest of her team as she got to the best parts. She rounded it off with an ear-piercing witch cackle that startled birds in neighbouring trees. They all laughed in appreciation. Jane could see Abbott was pleased that the weekend seemed to have turned a new leaf from the tension they had before.
"Ok Cho, what's your team got?" Farrell asked playfully.
"I don't do stories, but I'm sure Jane will have something up his sleeve," he said turning to his consultant.
"Stories, yeah I suppose I have a few," Jane said thoughtfully. "Oh, oh, okay, I have one. Lisbon, Cho, hopefully you remember this one," he said with a grin and a wink, before pulling Wylie closer to him and whispering in his ear. Wylie eagerly nodded, while Lisbon raised a suspicious eyebrow.
"A long, long time ago, here in these very woods, lived a man named Zachariah…" Jane started in his best campfire story voice.
Lisbon chuckled, yes, she did remember, the Prentiss case, she knew exactly how this one went.
"… Zachariah was a lumberjack, hundreds of years ago. A log fell on him in the river and pinned him by the arm." He thrashed against his forearm for dramatic effect.
"His logging crew tried and tried, but they just couldn't get him out. The river was rising, and there was a snowstorm coming. They figured he was done for anyway. So, they left him there, left him for dead," he placed extra emphasis on his last words, trying to captivate his half blasé audience.
"Zachariah was so angry at them for leaving him that he chopped off his own arm to free himself, then went back to the lumber camp and hacked each and every one of his workmates to death, then chopped them up and put their heads in trees. The lumber camp where they died. This is it. Right here, this very lodge" He gestured towards the top of all the trees. "Take a look," he continued, "if you squint really hard at the treetops, legend says you can see their distorted faces peering down at you. Just take a look."
As everyone stared obligingly at the treetops, Lisbon noticed Wylie slip away, unnoticed by anyone else. She smirked, she knew where this was going.
"As a punishment," Jane continued after proper ganders had been completed, "the townspeople gathered together and built a big bonfire on this very spot. And they burned Zachariah alive. As the flames melted the flesh from his body, Zachariah didn't scream. No. He just smiled at those watching. And he made a solemn vow, that whenever someone evil comes into these woods, someone mixed up in things that don't concern them or that has done terrible, unspeakable things, if you call Zachariah's name three times, he will rise from the grave and he will take them."
"Ha, yeah right," Spackman commented
"That's it?" McDowell followed up, "that was weak dude."
"It's only weak if the curse isn't true. Is anyone here willing to call out his name?" Jane tempted.
"Nah guys, don't mess with this stuff," Farrell said warily.
"Oh come on, it's just a stupid story," Spackman rebuked. "ZACHARIAH, ZACHARIAH.."
".. don't do it," Farrell interrupted nervously.
With his loudest bellow yet, Spackman yelled "ZACHARIAH!"
All of a sudden, Wylie jumped out from behind the log Farrell was sitting on, his sweatshirt hoodie up and draws pulled tight, with various leaves sticking out around his face and out of the sleeves around his hands. "RAHHHHH!" he yelled as he wrapped his hands around Farrell's shoulders and pulled her backwards off the log to the ground. Farrell turned white and shrieked.
As they fell to the ground, Farrell escaped from his grasp and promptly punched him clean across the face, before twisting his arm behind his back and pinning him to the ground. Cho and Jane winced empathetically in unison, as Lisbon, head in hands, shook her head deeply.
"Owww, get off me," Wylie pleaded, as the rest of Spackman's team cackling and snorting with laughter at the sight.
"You all good Wylie?" Jane asked tentatively.
"Ha ha, you don't mess with an ex-marine!" McDowell added appreciatively.
"Shit, sorry," Farrell said, "but you scared the living daylights out of me." She stood up and offered him a hand up, which he took obligingly as he rubbed his jaw.
"Yeah my bad," Wylie said, "jeez you have a good arm on you, nice punch."
Farrell smiled.
That marked the end of the ghost stories as they broke off and engaged in banter within their groups.
"Skirmish will be a wipeout tomorrow," Spackman laughed to his team, but knowingly loud enough so he could be heard.
"Ha ha, bring it!" Vega taunted in good nature.
"Well, we have a team of five armed agents. You have four and an unhinged circus act." Spackman commented matter-of-factly.
"So, your consultant can beat our consultant? Is that what you're going for here?" Jane clarified mockingly.
"Facts are facts. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," replied Spackman as McDowell uncomfortably put his arm around Williams' shoulder.
"Let it go," murmured Lisbon to Cho and Jane, "we can't go sparking up bad blood again, we're already in enough with Abbott from your shenanigans earlier.
"He started it," spat Jane like a child.
"No, really you started it, with your murderous rampage summary," Lisbon replied combatively.
"Mehhh," Jane dismissed. "But you're right, there is a bit of bad blood, hey? I better work on fixing that."
And with a flash, much to Lisbon's disdain, Jane jumped up and took a seat next to McDowell and started a conversation.
"Dammit Jane," Lisbon cursed to herself, full of dread with what crap he was trying to pull this time. To her surprise, the conversation seemed to flow well. They spoke with animated expression, shared some friendly laughs. Wylie sat with them and joined the conversation. She was relieved to see them all getting along, that she encouraged Vega to come have a chat with Farrell. Women in law enforcement always seemed to be the minority, she was always keen to reach out, even though socialising with new people wasn't something very high up on the list of things she enjoyed.
After a hearty conversation with Farrell about her origins with the Marines, Farrell excused herself to the bathroom, Vega opting to join her. Lisbon wandered over to the side of the campfire where Wylie, Jane and McDowell were deep in conversation.
Unseemingly, McDowell seemed to be deep into conversation a little more than normal…
"Jane!" Lisbon hissed, "Is he in a trance?" Wylie giggled and clapped his mouth.
"Shall I say no, so you have deniability?" Jane asked brutishly. "Or I just won't say anything, because then I won't be lying."
"You can't just put people into trances. Not only is it unethical, its –"
"Oh relax, it's just a teeny tiny one. Just wait and see, it'll be funny tomorrow," Jane encouraged.
"I'm telling Cho" Lisbon said bluntly, making a face.
"Go ahead, I'm just settling the 'my consultant can beat up your consultant' argument," Jane dismissed.
He watched Lisbon talk with Cho, who was sitting alone across the campfire having just finished a chat with Collins who just left. Her eyebrows narrowed as Cho looked at Jane while she ranted away expressively. "What a goodie-two-shoes tattletale," he mumbled at Wylie as they watched her dob. As she finished, Cho shrugged his shoulders and gave Jane a thumbs up, much to Jane's ecstatic approval and Lisbon's sheer annoyed exasperation.
The campfire slowly died down and people started calling it a night. Cho's team eventually did the same, walking up the stairs, a united front once more. They peeled off as they walked down hallway, each one retiring to their bedrooms. Cho, Vega, then Wylie, until it was just Jane and Lisbon. Jane paused at his doorway, as Lisbon kept going to hers.
"We didn't get to finish our conversation from earlier," she said over her shoulder, causing him to continue following her in intrigue.
"Yes, we didn't," he agreed, curious as to what her play was.
"Just a hot tip, Jane," she said enunciatedly, as she opened the door to her own room.
"That is?" he asked
She took a step towards him, closing the distance between them, looking down at her shoes, her heart increasing a knot.
She looked up at him and flicked her head to toss the hair out of her face, the distance between them a reflection of their distinct lack of regard for personal space.
She exhaled pointedly and looked him square in his apprehensive blue-eyes, coy with anticipation. "I suggest if you just want to know something," she started tauntingly, "you just need to ask."
She gently poked him on the chest and she pushed him away, stepping backward into her room.
"Goodnight Jane," she said, her voice higher than normal and soft as silk, as she flashed him a grin, bit her bottom lip, and closed the door gently in his face, leaving him standing in the hall with a look akin to a goldfish.
He shook his head and bit his own bottom lip, as he stared at the closed door in front of him. Frozen the spot, she had truly caught him off guard, her words echoing around in his head. It was almost a challenge, she was daring him to make the first move. Or was she? He took a step forward, his fist posed to knock on the door, before he exhaled and lowered it. She had closed the door on him for a reason. He didn't want to push himself into the realms of unwanted and scare her away, nor did he want to force himself onto her. Tonight, was not the night, but it sure seemed like a leap in the right direction. He smiled to himself with a newfound wave of optimism, stuffing his hands in his pocket as he turned to enter his own room.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She leaned her back against the door as she closed it, as she took a moment to slow her heart down. She banged the back of her head softly against the door. She was surprised by her actions in separate ways. On one side, that she actually was so forward and suggestive towards him, and on the other, that she was able to close the door in his face after feeling that charged tension when she was so close to him.
It took every iota of her being not to message Jane or head over to his room as she got ready for bed and climbed under the covers. She knew it was bit of an uncharacteristic manoeuvre on her behalf to act in such a blatant flirtatious way. She knew he wanted to kiss her, hell, she wanted the same thing. Crossing a line felt so intimidating though. Wanting it wasn't enough, the responsible side of her weighed in on all the various repercussions and consequences. What if they didn't work out? Jane was like fire, she had just gotten him back into her life, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him again. She didn't even know if he'd be sticking around. Sure, Abbott had him locked down for 5 years, but Jane had an uncanny way of getting out of these things.
The temptation was there, but for one, the easiest way to deal with complicated feelings was always to avoid them. Two, they were at work retreat, thus she had to remind herself to conduct herself in a professional manner at all times, especially, as years and years of experience had told her, this was even more so true because she was a woman. And thirdly, she knew more than well that she was a few whiskeys deep, and she was prone to bad decisions if she let her guard down. So, she stayed put.
She unlocked and relocked her phone dozens of times, a part of her not-so-secretly hoping he'd message or coming tapping at her door before sleep finally took over.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
She rose the next morning early enough, and after a quick shower she headed into the kitchen to find the rest of the team. She noticed Wylie in a corner of the communal lounge room in deep conversation with Jane and Farrell, Spackman and Collins having coffee at the dining table, while Cho was making coffee in the kitchen. She joined Cho for her caffeine fix, watching Jane's little trio on the other side of the room curiously. Her gut told her that nothing good was going on over there, but they all seemed pretty chipper. Maybe she was just trained to be suspect of Jane's every move, she thought as she brushed the idea away.
Vega joined them in the kitchen, sweaty from her morning run and made herself a smoothie. The trio dissipated and Jane came into the kitchen, hunting for a cup of tea.
"Morning Lisbon, Vega," he said cheerily.
"You looked like you were getting close with Farrell," Lisbon pointed out.
"What's the matter?" he asked, "jealous?"
"No," she replied quickly and disgustedly, "just figured you were up to no good again."
"Always so suspicious of me, whatever have I done to deserve that?" he rebutted, "Wait, don't answer that actually," he supplemented quickly with a little chortle.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"How was your run?" Wylie asked Vega.
"Yeah, good," she replied with a genuine smile. "You should come with me tomorrow?" she suggested.
"I'm not much of a runner," Wylie defended.
"Suit yourself, the morning air is lovely," she said with a deep breath, "wanna sit outside and drink these?"
"Sure," he replied. They left Lisbon and Jane to their bickering banter about Farrell and jealousy.
"They're together, right?" Vega asked Wylie, referring to Jane and Lisbon.
"I think… so? I don't actually know," he admitted. "I'm not good at picking these things. They certainly sound like an old married couple."
"They were very familiar in that last undercover."
"Yes, but that was undercover, you can't really judge that. They're just super good at what they do."
"I'll say! And he was just asking her if she was jealous about Farrell," Vega added.
"Oh, he just tried to put Farrell in a trance like he did with McDowell last night haha. No idea if it worked," Wylie commented. "But I know they're like super close, I'm guessing they probably have at least dated back in the day? They worked together forever and they flirt a lot."
"Oh and I see the way she looks at him, definitely big heart eyes there," Vega said thoughtfully. "They'd have to be together, just trying to keep it all professional and what not around work."
"We've had that many ice-breaker kind of opportunities, why didn't we just front up and ask them?" Wylie asked.
"True, I didn't even think about it," Vega replied, "think they're trying to keep things under wraps though, we should probably respect that."
"Maybe"
"Yeah, see, I don't think I could ever date someone I was working with," Vega said thoughtfully, not noticing Wylie's face drop.
"It would make things so complicated, you have that added pressure of being around each other at work all day, plus if things don't work out, that's a nightmare too," Vega went on to explain.
Wylie tried to hide the fact that he was more than a little crestfallen at this revelation. "At least they'd understand your crazy work schedule," he joked to cover the pain.
"Yeah that's true," Vega replied as she flashed him a smile and sipped at her smoothie, "guess we'll just see what the universe has in store."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
As the morning evolved, they met down a forest trail to the paintball skirmish area. They had gotten geared up – helmets, body suits and chest plates, much to Jane's abhorrent disgust that he had to participate. Abbott directed the two units to different ends of the field, and the team leaders handed out their weapons.
Cho held a paintball gun with an outstretched arm to Jane.
"I can't shoot this, ugh, why give me one of these things?" he complained.
"You can shoot it, and you will shoot it, Mr 'I've had a bunch of murder charges.' Quit your whining and get your head in the game," Lisbon barked. The competition really fired up the girl who was brought up with three brothers, he could see the lust for victory keen in her eye.
He took the gun reluctantly and pulled a face at Lisbon.
Cho started to give instructions to the team as they huddled in close, outlining positions and signals.
"Yeah, I don't think we'll need to do much of that," Jane dismissed, "I just need this," he said as he pulled a small dog whistle out of his pocket.
"What are you, the Pied Piper?" Lisbon asked mockingly.
Jane smiled the smile he only used when he was up to something, Lisbon's shoulders dropping automatically at the sight of it.
"So, what do you suggest?" asked Cho.
"Keep going with your plan, you won't need to worry so much about Spackman and Collins so much, McDowell and Farrell will take care of that. If this works anyway," he explained, doubting himself for just a split second. "You'll need to take Williams down, don't underestimate him, double team him with sharpshooter over here," he said indicating at Wylie. "The girls can take down McDowell and Farrell once they've done my bidding, just hang back until they do."
"Your bidding?" Vega asked confused.
"And I'll just hide behind here," Jane concluded, ignoring Vega's question.
Abbott's voice echoed, signifying the start of the skirmish. The team took their positions, crouching with guns cocked at the ready, while Jane curled up behind a tree, his gun laying abandoned to the side.
He took out the dog whistle and blew on it firmly as the rest of the team scurried out.
He heard the whip, whizz and splat of paintballs being launched, the rustling of footsteps through the leaves. He wanted to poke his head around to see, but always was petrified of giving his position away and getting shot. They might not be real bullets, but those paintball pellets still would sure as heck hurt.
Then, he heard what he was waiting for, a voice echoing in the distance "WHAT THE HELL, FARRELL?!" a disdained Spackman yelled.
Lisbon crouched behind a fallen tree with Vega. She heard the splatter of paintballs and Spackman's screams of protest, not so far from them and poked her head up to see what the commotion was all about.
Farrell had her gun pointed square at Spackman and seemingly had shot him a number of times in the back. As he protested, she continued to shoot him, emptying her paintballs into his vest, before changing her target to his face. Lisbon couldn't help but giggle slightly at the sight, before she stood up and took aim at Farrell, firing off four rounds, all three hitting her square in the vest. She ducked back down next to Vega, "Farrell and Spackman are out" she told her.
Spackman obscene protests and Farrell's profuse apologies could be heard as they stormed off the game field. Two down, three to go, Lisbon thought.
She could see Cho and Wylie across the way. They weren't sure where the other three were hiding. And she had no idea where Jane was either. Although, the heart of a lion that he was, she was sure he was somewhere close to the start in a nice little hidey-hole. She rolled her eyes at the thought. She exchanged signals with Cho and they advanced further up the field, finding new shelter with Vega in the side of a ditch.
More whizzing of paintballs as she watched Wylie and Cho duck from fire from a hidden Collins on the other side of the field. She looked over and assessed if there would be a good vantage point on his three side where she could draw the fire away from her team. Before she could make the call, she watched on as McDowell crept and approached Change from behind, before shooting his teammate multiple times in the back. She heard a familiar charlatan laugh echo from well behind them as Collins cried out in protest. Wylie took down McDowell quickly as Collins castigated him for stupidity. Lisbon amazedly watched the scene unfold, as Vega lifted her own gun up and pointed it in Lisbon's direction. Lisbon's eyes grew wide and Vega unloaded three shots.
Pew Pew Pew
She gasped as the shots whizzed straight past her, connecting to their target, one Williams standing behind them, firing off a few unsuccessful shots himself. He cursed in frustration, as Lisbon turned to Vega, mouth open.
"You saved my life," she told the rookie, as she high-fived her.
That was it. The game was done, awash, Lisbon thought as she heard more commotion in the distance. McDowell and Farrell had turned their paintball guns onto an unarmed, protective gear free Abbott, who howled as they pummelled shots into him at close range. She saw Jane out of the corner of her eye, emerge from his little hiding place and sprint over to them frantically. Spackman and Collins grabbed their guns to try and stop them, only to have the pair fight back. Lisbon and Vega sprinted towards the ruckus too. As the brawl broke out, Jane eagerly jumped in, which was extraordinarily out of character, Lisbon thought. She watched him jump around them like a baffoon desperately trying to grab for McDowell's in the scuffle. As he grabbed and squeezed his shoulder, McDowell suddenly stopped, as Jane then focused his attention and trying to grab Farrell.
Ah of course, Lisbon thought, the damn trance
They reached the group to see a very colourful Abbott still on the floor reeling in the bruised pain from the paintballs with the wind knocked out of him, a flustered and confused McDowell and Farrell apologising profusely, and one Patrick Jane trying to hang back out of attention with a very sheepish look about him.
Lisbon approached the charlatan and stood just in front and to the side of him, as she'd done many times in cases before, to line his mouth up well with her ear.
"You did this, didn't you?" she asked.
"What me? No, how could I? I was just hiding the whole time," Jane countered.
"The trance last night, this morning with Farrell, the dog whistle, the shoulder grabbing," she elaborated bluntly.
"Oh yeah, that. Heh," he replied in amusement.
"I thought you couldn't hypnotise people against their moral character?"
"I may have planted the idea that their authority was corrupt, CBI Blake style, so they hunted them down on the whistle."
"Jane…" Lisbon started.
"Yeah, I kinda overlooked the whole Abbott thing though. Rest of it worked a charm," Jane said as he grimaced in sympathy with Abbott. "My bad."
They got out of their skirmish gear. Abbott had his welts treated by a staff member in a separate room.
"You hypnotised them. Didn't you? Some kind of mentalist mind trick," Spackman approached Jane with hostility.
"No, of course not. Only weak-minded, highly suggestible people can be hypnotised, let alone convinced to shoot their own teammates," he chuckled. "And obviously your people aren't that, they wouldn't be FBI if it were that easy. That's assuming I would be powerful enough to do such a thing anyway. But ask your occult friend, I have no powers," he said with a mystic grin.
"5-0 win, clean victory. And none of my team shot me," Cho gloated.
Spackman scowled and looked down at Cho, before throwing his helmet down in frustration and storming off. The rest of the team followed suit.
"You should probably try and control your team a bit better," Jane called out as they left.
"So that was the trance, right? You convinced them to do that?" Wylie asked amazedly as soon as they were out of earshot.
Jane shrugged his shoulders in admission. "Just proves my point. Well-placed words are more powerful than guns and violence," he said. "And I'm the far more useful consultant."
"But Abbott-," Cho commented
"Yeah, oversight. My bad," said Jane guiltily.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Back at the lodge, the BBQ lunch was an awkward affair. There was little interaction between the units. Farrell and McDowell were treated like lepers, despite their attempts to apologise and explain. Not that they really had much of an explanation to give. Abbott was sore and grumpy, and fuming at his senseless attack. He called Farrell, McDowell and Spackman into a room where none of them left for half an hour. Jane noted their absence apprehensively, wondering if it would all be traced back to him. Thankfully, it seemed that Abbott didn't have any follow up probing after his meeting with the trio, although they looked like they suffered some pretty painful probing after they all left the room with him.
They moved onto their communications workshop run by an external party. More inane corporate brainwashing Jane thought as he sat through another boring seminar, as he stared out the window and plotted his escape, or whether escape would be worth it. A few little communication-based games, it seemed Spackman's team was bickering more than usual, so much from drawing teams closer together, Jane thought. The seminar leader pointed out that disagreements were an important part of effective communication as they encouraged different ideas and problem-solving, which reflected real-life situations the best. Jane snorted at the diplomacy.
"Trust-falls," the seminar-leader announced, as Jane's ears pricked up with interest. They gave a brief rundown of the importance of trust and explained the activity in detail. He looked over at Lisbon to catch her eye. She looked over at him and she grinned and looked away as they shared a knowing glance.
Jane went straight to Lisbon as they paired off under Cho's supervision.
"Two co-workers," he started with a contorted grin, remembering their last interaction regarding trust falls, "recognising the boundaries of their professional relationship.[50]"
She laughed. "Come on Jane, let's just do this."
"You want to trust me, but there's something holding you back," he went on with a smirk. "Still think I'm not trustworthy?" he asked a little coyly.
She thought for a moment, and looked him straight in the eye. "Yes, you're still a little untrustworthy, I think that's fair. You're always up to something," she explained thinking of the paintball match that just went down.
"Well, that's a little upsetting to hear," Jane admitted. "I still trust you 100%"
"I haven't given you any reason to do otherwise, have I?" she replied.
"Hmmm, so I'll need to work on this," he said a little distantly.
"I trust you more," she tried to justify, noticing the sadness her words caused. "How many times have I shown that, gone along with your plans even though you'd refuse to tell me what's going on? Backed you up no matter what?"
He looked at her, forlorn.
"Maybe I've just worded it wrong. Can I try again?" she asked.
"Sure," he half-heartedly replied.
"I know I can trust you to do the right thing for me, to look out for my best interests, to have my back. I know and trust you would do anything you could for me. I trust you with my life, you're one of the only people I can say that about. I know I can depend on you. When you're around anyway," she explained. "That's trust, right? But where I'm getting at is I can't trust all the garbage that comes out of your mouth, whether you've twisted something, or omitted something on purpose. I always need to have my detective ears on when you talk because I need to try and work out what you're getting at and read between the lines."
He looked at her curiously.
"Does that make sense? I trust you, centrally as a person. Just not the crap that falls out of your mouth," she went on.
His face softened, the corners of his mouth curling as he nodded. "Yeah, I get it, that's fair." He appreciated her candour. "And just so you know, I trust you with my life too."
She smiled back.
"So can I catch you now?" he asked with a grin.
"Fine," she obliged with a face, as she scrunched her eyes closed hard, and allowed him to catch her once more.
