A/N: Thank you for all the support and reviews! You guys got me to 200 reviews! :)
Special thank you to Mel C for betaing. I did fiddle afterward so any mistakes are my own.
We are approaching the prologue in five or so chapters.
I don't own Twilight or The Velveteen Rabbit
After Sam's death, Bella fell into darkness. She wasn't quite broken yet, but it was clear she was hanging by a thread.
showed mercy and didn't bring any visitors over for a few months. The children needed to mourn. Mourn the brother figure that they knew for three years and the father figure they had been provided. Little did she know, the children were relieved Laurent was gone. It was Sam who didn't deserve his fate.
These poor kids were doomed, Michelle thought to herself. The system was rigged and not in favor of the children. A vicious cycle. Foster parents weren't always in it for the right reasons and children often slipped through the cracks.
Victoria rarely came out of her room after Laurent's death. But when she did, all she did was wreak havoc. She was high on her pills, zoned out and zombie-like, but then she'd spiral from coming down, turning into a blind rage, completely manic. Her bipolar episodes left Charlotte terrified of her.
Bella was plagued with guilt as she uncovered more details about the accident.
After learning how Mrs. McGuire, their next-door neighbor, heard Sam insisting on driving, she started to wonder if this wasn't an accident after all. Sam was an excellent driver. This accompanied with the fact that the police wrote in the report how the visibility was up to par and the divider would have been difficult to cross had Bella on edge. Bella came to the only logical conclusion that her young mind could and that Sam must have swerved the car into incoming traffic purposely.
He was always worried about leaving her alone with Laurent. It would make sense that when she told him that Edward, her protector, had the possibility of being adopted, Sam made a choice. A terrible one. At least this was Bella's twisted version of events.
She was suffering internally, wondering if she hadn't shared her fears with Sam if he'd still be alive, and for once she didn't confide in Edward about it. Bella figured that if Edward was going to get adopted, she'd need to act happy for him. If anyone deserved happiness and a chance at a family, it was her Edward.
Months passed and Edward didn't understand the sudden change in Bella's demeanor. A once hopeful girl, now as the days grew she was becoming jaded and defensive. Her walls were going around even, even Edward. She once wondered if he loved her anymore. Now he was questioning the same thing. But unlike Bella, Edward didn't have the courage to ask. Too afraid she might admit that her feelings were different now.
While things at home had gotten worse, things at school weren't any better. With Laurent gone, money was tight. Well, tight when Victoria needed to maintain the lifestyle where she put herself first and foremost and then the children's needs came secondary.
There were times when there was no laundry detergent so Bella, Edward, and even poor Charlotte would go to school smelling like wet dogs.
Lauren, one of Bella and Edward's classmates, started using the nickname "Smellyella" for Bella. Day after day, she would taunt Bella and Edward, commenting on how poor they were, how no one loved them. In her current emotional state, Bella wasn't good about hiding how her words hurt her. When Lauren saw that Bella was affected by her teasing, it only made her ramp up her insults to be solely directed at her. Edward knew Bella needed no additional stress, and this had gone on too long. The day before Bella's art show, he lost his temper and yelled at Lauren.
"You leave her alone, you bitch!" Edward roared. He had enough. Enough of Bella's wallowing, enough of Victoria's mood swings, even Charlotte was grating his nerves with her constant babbling; all of his frustrations had come to a head.
"Oh Edward, she's got you wrapped around her finger. I hope she's worth it." Lauren looked at Bella, wearing the same basic black tee and jeans that she had rotated for the past year and a half. With her limited supply of clothing, she was able to make about six outfits that she could rotate for school. "Whoops, she's not." Lauren turned to walk away, cackling with her posse behind her.
But that wasn't satisfying to Edward. No, she needed to pay.
He grabbed her shoulder and cornered her against the lockers. Just when he had raised his hand to point his finger in her face, the assistant principal decided to walk by at that very moment.
While Edward would never hit a woman, the situation didn't look positive.
"Young man, my office NOW!" Mr. Molina bellowed.
Bella cringed and looked at Edward, who was now looking at her, annoyed.
Edward was suspended from school for two weeks for aggressive behavior. His caseworker was also going to be notified, which meant a reaming from Mrs. Cope. That was all he needed. Another lecture.
Victoria was livid that she needed to make herself presentable and actually get out of bed to handle Edward's outburst and punishment. Safe to say he wasn't going to Bella's art show tomorrow, or anywhere anytime soon.
Bella had channeled her grief for Sam into drawing, always sketching similar scenes. A brother and a sister. She never had someone other than Edward care for her enough to protect her, let alone give advice, and maybe his life?
Her art teacher, Ms. Emily, submitted one of her drawings for a contest down at the local college, and Bella would be nominated for a scholarship to a summer-long art program if she won. Bella never won anything before so she was excited to see where this would bring her if she was so lucky as to be selected. It was going to crush her that Edward wouldn't be there to share it with her, win or lose.
Bella's love for Edward was more than just a childhood crush; she knew this wasn't ordinary love like her classmates had. What she and Edward shared was special and rare. Nobody in this lifetime would have experienced what they did together. They knew each other's pain, and they knew what the other represented. Hope and goodness were often lost in foster care. For a while, they had found that in each other. At least she hoped he felt the same.
Later that night, Bella snuck downstairs to Edward's room as usual. He was lying in bed, journaling. He never let her read what he was writing, which made her teenage brain go mad.
"Hi," Bella says meekly, waving. After the look she received from him in the hallway at school, Bella was afraid of his mood.
"Hello," Edward said curtly, tipping his chin.
Bella paced around the basement, back and forth. She wouldn't dare get in bed with him, not yet. Bella knew he hated talking about things, but if he wanted her to stay, he was going to talk.
After a few minutes of this, Edward was growing agitated, and a little dizzy, watching her move back and forth for the hundredth time. "Something on your mind?" he muttered, really not wanting to do this.
"Why yes! Something is on my mind. You shut me out. You don't seem to care that things are different between us. We aren't as close. It's like we are drifting apart." She whispered the last part.
"Bella, we sleep in the same bed every night. You're my girlfriend." And I love you, he added mentally. Edward couldn't remember the last time they said those words to each other. It had to be at least a month, which was a lifetime for them, seeing as on a normal day, they said it every hour.
"Edward, please," she pleaded. She was not really sure what she was pleading for, but she had to try to fix this.
"Bella, ever since Sam died, you've been a ghost. You barely say two words to me. You're sketching all the time. You don't want to do anything. I even said I'd join the fucking art class with you, just to spend time with you. Don't say I'm pushing you away. You pushed me away first!" Edward raised his voice at her for the first time.
"Edward. I—" Bella started, feeling like a scolded child. His words sunk in and she realized she had been a terrible girlfriend lately.
"No, let me finish. I know you're afraid of losing me. I'm afraid of losing you too. I promise that's not going to happen. I'm not going anywhere." Edward rose from the bed, taking the fragile girl in his arms. Seeing the shattered look on her face, he was suddenly feeling guilty for yelling at her.
"But." Bella wondered how much of her fears she should divulge to Edward. "But what if you get adopted?" There she'd said it.
Silence surrounded them for a minute. Edward hadn't given being adopted a thought in a very long time. This was his life, and until he aged out, he had to make the best of it and most importantly: survive.
"Bella, I doubt that will happen. Charlotte's having a hard enough time finding a family and she's only seven years old!"
Bella hugged herself, hating the uncertainty of it all. "But what if you do?"
She crossed her arms like a petulant child, waiting for his response.
Edward had to think about the logistics. He never entertained the thought of being adopted and the events that happened after. He never entertained having hope. So now that he had to think about the very thing that the girl who he loved more than life itself was terrified of, he was reminded that being adopted wasn't a terrible thing. Sure being separated from Bella would be the worst possible thing imaginable.
But having a family, a real family—being wanted—that was what Edward wanted.
Too bad he couldn't see the girl across from him wanted him more than anything.
"Bella, we will figure it out." Edward tried to pacify her, getting nervous with his newfound hope.
"No, Edward, this is what's bothering me. All these what-ifs. I don't know if—I don't know—" Bella blew out a breath. "I don't know anything anymore. I'm afraid."
Edward saw how much she needed to be reassured, and although he knew nothing about what could or would happen, he knew his feelings for her would be the same. And that even if they couldn't be together, he'd always find a way back to her.
Grabbing her face into his hands, he spoke calmly. "Bella." She refused to look at him, so she squeezed her eyes shut.
Edward caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Baby, we are going to be okay."
Bella's eyes opened, slowly. "But—"
Edward kissed her to shut her up. Pulling away, he whispered, "But nothing. You and me forever. No matter what, we won't change. I don't care who adopts me or you, or if we age out. I'll always stay me and you'll be you. No pretending, Bella. Not us. We're the real deal. I promise it's always real. We're real…As for you being afraid, 'Then I will sit with you until you're not afraid anymore. We will face it together.'"
Bella examined his face, looking for the truth in his words and his eyes. She must have found what she was looking for because much like the first day they met, Bella tackled him. Except unlike then, this time, Edward caught her in his arms.
She kissed him with such reverence that Edward could barely keep up.
Edward quoting her favorite book from her childhood made her swoon.
"Where is that book anyways?" She laughed, pressing her forehead to his.
They pulled apart, looking at one another as though they were they only two who existed. It was them against the world. Who would dare challenge such a bond?
Mrs. Cope's prospective parent visits resumed shortly after Bella's art show.
While Bella didn't win first place and the summer program, she won new art supplies. Grateful for whatever was given to her, she wanted to try again when the next contest presented itself.
Edward was helping Charlotte put her hair into a ponytail when there was a knock at the door. Bella had just finished making Victoria's bed when she ran to get it.
There stood Michelle and a couple in their late forties. They were impeccably dressed. The woman wore a floral dress and wedges. The man wore a three-piece suit and a bulky watch attached to his wrist.
"Bella, dear," Michelle greeted her, gesturing for her to let them inside.
Bella stood at the front door and eyed the couple with Mrs. Cope. She began fidgeting with the skin on her fingers. Bella had a bad feeling.
Mrs. Cope looked at Bella, pleading with her eyes not to start any of her normal shenanigans. Bella held her breath, opened the door farther, and stepped away to let their company inside.
The couple watched Edward and the little girl with curious eyes. He was crouched down next to Charlie, trying to smooth her hair into the perfect ponytail.
God, did she grow more hair overnight? Edward thought.
He had no clue that the couple was observing him.
Bella took in the entire exchange and then glanced at the man and woman looking at her boyfriend.
Her eyes widened as she realized what they were seeing and how adorable the scene was. Bella bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying as she heard the couple whispering to Mrs. Cope, asking questions about Edward and his status.
After Charlie's hair was suitable, Edward looked up, standing as he realized they weren't alone. His hair was in its normal disarray, and he wore the same old jeans he always did and a white holey long-sleeved shirt.
Mrs. Cope was the first to speak. "Children, this is Mr. and Mrs. Masen."
Edward went over and shook Mr. and Mrs. Masen's hands, giving them his crooked smile, although a bit shy.
Charlie said, "Hello people!" She waved dramatically and gave them hugs.
Bella just stood there, glaring.
Mrs. Cope was just thankful Bella decided not to talk. It was for the best. Nobody needed her fake accents or other nonsense at a pivotal time.
Mr. and Mrs. Masen, also known as Liz and Ted—well his name was actually Theodore but everyone called him Ted—were an affluent couple. Ted's IPO was weeks away from being made public. His company, Masen Point Financial, was an up-and-coming investment firm that has made leaps and bounds in the financial world.
Ted was being photographed for Forbes as New Jersey's richest man. Liz volunteered with several charities, especially ones for drunk driving. Their son, Matthew, passed away four years prior due to a hit and run by a drunk driver. Just like that, their seventeen-year-old was killed in a senseless accident. Ever since, they wanted to fill a void in their contemplated doing rounds of IVF, trying to have another baby, when they decided to pause for Ted's business ventures.
After gaining all this newfound money and notoriety, they figured now was the perfect time to adopt.
The pair looked at Edward and wanted to know more about the wild-haired boy.
"Edward was it?" Liz asked, waving him to come closer.
"Yes, ma'am." Edward nodded. This was the first time in years, parents wanted to get to know him better.
He couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Being noticed had become a rarity to him. Edward also didn't dare look at Bella, who was trying not to hyperventilate.
"How old are you?" Liz gently smiled, unaware of his full background, so she thought to tread lightly.
"I'm fourteen. My birthday is in June." Edward's heart was racing. If he wasn't careful, he would hyperventilate.
Ted nodded, asking the next set of questions, as the three of them moved to sit on the sectional sofa.
The conversation continued for a little over thirty minutes. All the while, Bella was huddled in the corner, watching the exchange, trying to think of a way to sabotage this nightmare she was witnessing.
Mrs. Cope went to take Charlotte upstairs to Victoria since she was getting bored. Now was Bella's chance to strike.
Bella walked over to the couch, waiting for a lull in the questions.
"We'd need to do something about this hair, dear." Liz ruffled Edward's wild hair.
Bella looked puzzled. She loved Edward's crazy electrocuted style of hair. It made him Edward. This couldn't continue. She had to do something… anything.
Worried about losing the only person she'd ever loved, she crouched down next to him and grabbed Edward's arms, rolling up his sleeves.
"Look." She insisted the couple see Edward's scars. "Look."
Bella didn't want to do it. She knew how those scars weighed on Edward. But she was desperate. Bella knew those scars were one of the only hindrances in him being adopted before this.
Edward grabbed his arms from Bella's grasp and glared at her. If looks could kill, she would have been dead.
"What. The. Fuck?" Edward whispered through gritted teeth. He couldn't believe this. She was really trying to mess up his only chance at a family.
Bella saw the way Edward was staring at her. She was wrong. So wrong, but so was this whole scene. Bella couldn't lose him. She just couldn't.
Mr. and Mrs. Masen stared at the broken little girl, questioningly.
They ignored her little performance, but Edward continued shooting daggers in her direction.
Bella whispered, "I'm sorry." She rose and ran out the back door, where she sat on the steps crying.
Mourning what once was and mourning what would never be again.
Time stood still. Or maybe it was just going extremely slow.
Bella sat outside for what felt like hours. It grew dark and cold from the lack of sun. Her stomach grumbled. What was the point of going back there?
There would come a time when she'd go in and Edward won't be there waiting.
All her efforts of making herself unadoptable were for nothing.
All it took was one family, two people willing to adopt this boy, to blow her world apart. This boy had Bella's heart. He had become everything to her.
What was she going to do now?
Sam was right: her whole world was Edward. What do you do when your world isn't there anymore?
Would he call her? Would he visit? Would he even remember her?
Bella wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing.
She needed a new plan.
Bella couldn't be with Edward and that was always her plan. They had spent every possible minute with each other since they were four years old.
She shook her head, attempting to focus on what she should do. What could she do? Being fourteen sucked as it was. But to have no family, and no Edward… That…that hurt.
Bella tossed the idea of running away back and forth. But how would it work? She wasn't very independent as Sam so eloquently said before he died.
Again being fourteen, with no money or job, would make things impossible.
Her next thought and the only option was staying here. Staying here another four years until she aged out.
Sure, Bella considered stopping her crazy bullshit and getting adopted. But what if they moved her far away. What if they hurt her?
She didn't have Edward to protect her at all times anymore.
Bella didn't know if she'd have Edward at all.
The back door swung open, and there stood Edward, beaming. Bella examined him from head to toe. Somehow he already looked different. One thing was for sure, Edward never smiled like that before. Hell, getting him to smile period was like pulling teeth.
Mr. Broody.
Bella swore to herself she wouldn't speak first. She pleaded with her eyes for him to say something, anything, that would change this.
But Bella knew all too well that life never gave her what she wanted.
"I got adopted." Edward couldn't believe those words were coming out of his mouth.
All his life, he never dared to dream of that being possible. So the fact of it not only being possible but coming true was the best thing ever.
"Congratulations," Bella grumbled, looking away and into the darkness.
Edward sat down next to her on the porch steps, wrapping an arm around her tightly.
"Bella," Edward said tenderly, not having many words to say. Talking to her had never been difficult, but right now it seemed damn near impossible.
Bella shot up from the steps and ran to her room. Her actual room upstairs. She barely went in there only to grab clothes, let alone to sleep. It was like a stranger's room. Nothing smelt right; nothing felt right.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Bella slept in her own room. And instead of thinking about Edward, she tried to do anything but.
The morning of Edward's departure was dreadful. Bella considered not leaving her room at all. But she knew if this was the last time she would see Edward, she needed to say "goodbye."
She lived with enough guilt and regret already from not saying "bye" to Sam and not sleeping in Edward's room last night.
Mr. and Mrs. Masen had the proper connections and ultimately enough money where any roadblocks were overcome quickly and finalization of the adoption was expedited. Mrs. Cope was less than thrilled about the extra paperwork and on such short notice, but a child adopted was her goal, no matter the work involved.
Michelle worried about Bella and what this would do to the already delicate girl. Time would tell.
Bella went about her morning business as usual. She knew Edward slept outside her door because she saw his blanket there when she came out of the room.
While making pancakes, Edward's favorite, she willed herself not to cry and to stay strong. Edward needed her to be happy for him.
He promised her that no matter what, they would be together. Real. What they had would always be real, she reminded herself as arms wrapped around her torso from behind.
Bella turned in Edward's arms, clutching him so tight. She was weak for him. Only him.
"I'm so sorry I didn't come down to you. I couldn't—I can't—" She also couldn't stop the tears.
"I know, baby. Let me finish what I wanted to tell you last night. Yes, I got adopted. But I also asked them about you and told them how important you are to me. They promised you can come to visit anytime you want. They are also buying me a cell phone and said I can get one for you so we can talk and text. I'm not going to be someone else just because I'm getting adopted. I'm me, Bella. Always me." Edward wanted her to know that she could not be forgotten or left behind. "Oh, and they only live fifteen minutes away in some fancy-schmancy gated community. We could probably walk and meet halfway." Edward looked at Bella, silently pleading with her to understand and have a little faith.
"Okay." Bella looked up at Edward; seeing how hopeful and happy he was, she couldn't find it in herself to ruin this for him. If he believed in them, then she would too. After all, as her favorite book said, "Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
He was her always. He just so happened to also have a family now.
