A/N: Thank you so much for all the support and love! I can't believe this story passed 450 reviews, you guys are awesome!
This is a redemption story but there is a journey to get there. Have faith in the HEA;) and me! Thank you to the wonderful Mel Cee for betaing! She's incredible!
All mistakes are my own, fiddling was had!
I don't own anything except my crazy storyline. Next chapter is another time jump...
Song suggestion: What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts.
Let me know your thoughts and predictions:)
Age 18 Part 3
They say you always remember your first love. Did the same go for the heartbreak?
Because in that case, the pair of fools were going to remember this anguish forever. After Bella jumped out of Edward's car, Edward spent all night searching for her. He checked everywhere he could think of: alleys, parks, the diner, shelters, the underpass. He periodically called home, hoping, praying really, that she would change her mind and come back to the Masens'. No matter how many times he tried calling her cellphone, it went to voicemail.
All of these were nothing more than acts of desperation. He'd find her. He had to. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself. But Edward knew better. All hopes he had for Bella returning were crushed when he saw something sparkly, glinting on the floor of the passenger's side of his car. It was the locket he'd bought her. As he held it in between his fingers, he couldn't dare open it to see the inscription that he never got to share with her. He punched the dashboard of the car. "Fuck!"
The way he and Bella grew up, Edward knew that if Bella didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be. Foster kids were known to be dirty little secrets. Making yourself invisible wasn't a difficult thing to do when most people preferred to pretend you didn't exist anyway.
All his plans, all his dreams, were gone as quickly as he felt them inching toward him. He wanted success and a family, but was this the price he would have to pay? Not having Bella in his life?
Bella was everything to him. She was his cheerleader and supporter through it all. How could she not see how much he loved her? Did she ever really love him?
Sure, Edward changed, but they'd both changed. It was part of growing up, wasn't it?
They survived so much together. Would this be the very thing to break them apart?
When the morning sun started to shine, Edward knew it was time to go back to his house, keep calling her, and wait. Someone should have told him he'd be waiting for what felt like forever.
Bella ran and ran, despite her knee buckling several times. She ran despite the rain pouring down, drenching her and her faithful backpack. The tears flowed down her cheeks, making her visibility blurry. But she couldn't stop. She had to keep moving forward. Edward couldn't find her. It would only be out of pity and sorrow, and she was tired of being treated like a charity case. He said terrible things and made her feel more worthless than anyone ever had before. He was the last person she'd expected to look down their nose at her. She couldn't give him the chance to do it again. No one would make her feel this way anymore. Her whole time in foster care, she'd told herself she just needed to get to eighteen then she'd be free.
Well, what a way to start out her first day of freedom. More alone than ever.
All her life, Bella was used to him building her up, making life have hope and security. Bella met Edward with a security blanket clutched in her hand, but what she quickly realized was he became her security blanket somewhere along the way.
With him gone, she was all she had left.
Sure, she could go back to Kate and Garrett's until she formed a proper plan; they would be happy to have her. She could even call Siobhan, and she would put her in touch with the housing department and start provisions for government-funded housing plans.
No! Bella didn't want to be a bother anymore. She became a burden to anyone in her life. Oftentimes, when she thought of her own parents and how they got into trouble trying to support her, she came to wonder if she had been a burden ever since the day she was born.
Bella hopped the fence of an old abandoned house that was under contract for demolition. She climbed up to the wraparound porch and settled on the deck, setting her backpack down and wiping her tears with her sleeve.
Bella opened the backpack and pulled out her phone. She looked at it in her hands, thinking back to when Edward had first given it to her.
She should have seen the signs from way back then. Bella shook her head at the memory, disgust with both herself and Edward surging through her. He changed right before his eyes, but she'd been so blinded by her love and need for him that she'd missed it happening. She still didn't understand how he'd let it happen. He'd promised her he wouldn't let anything come between them.
Though it is not surprising that she hadn't seen this coming because the change had been slow. Like cancer growing, little by little taking over the parts of Edward that she'd loved the most. Until she no longer recognized him at all.
As Bella sat on the deck, the rain still pelting down around her, she remembered one conversation that at the time was meant to reassure her, but looking back, it was a dark omen…It was one of their first conversations after Edward had gotten adopted.
"I'm scared, terrified actually." Bella looked up at Edward with her doe eyes, willing him to say the things she needed to hear. The things only he could say.
"Of what, Bella? This is what's supposed to happen. It's going to be a good thing. You'll see. Soon you'll get adopted too, and then we can start our lives with a support system behind us. And money!"
Bella nodded. "I guess you're right."
His finger lifted her chin that was pointed at the ground. "I'm always right." Edward laughed. "I love you, baby." He leaned in to kiss her on the forehead.
What she didn't say was that she didn't need a support system. All she wanted was him. Edward getting adopted would actually be the worst thing that could happen.
At the time, Bella thought she needed to help foster Edward's happiness. He'd worked so hard to get to this point. When she met him, the first few years were rough as she tried to break him out of his shell. But once she broke him, she was the one who started cocooning herself. The pendulum swung in the opposite direction, making her more guarded and hesitant when she was once carefree.
Bang! She threw the phone on the floor and smashed it with her shoe.
Bella had no clue where life would take her, but one thing she knew with absolute certainty: she needed a clean slate.
An Edward-less slate.
One month later.
September passed quite quickly for some and dragged on for others. That was the thing about time: it was relative. Just a measure of how fast or slow something was going to disappear. Ripped from under you like a rug.
Bella quit her job at the diner. She'd been staying at a shelter one town over, in a rundown area. She couldn't risk Edward coming to look for her. Her need for change was evident. She had been on this merry-go-round of insanity for far too long. She spent her entire youth choosing someone who ultimately didn't end up choosing her. Bella needed to choose Bella for once. Someone had to.
It was mid-October when Bella walked the few miles to the next town over to the area with all the McMansions. She hadn't stepped foot in this area—Edward's neighborhood—since she fled from his car. She knew he had left for Japan last week. That was the only reason she was traveling to his house right now.
Bella approached the gate and pressed the button to alert the residents. She squinted, trying to see past the tree-lined fence. Hopefully she could flag down Renata.
Here goes nothing.
Ring.
"Hello," the voice called out. Great, it was Ted, the last person, besides Edward, that she wanted to deal with.
"Hello, Mr. Masen. It's Bella–" She was interrupted by Ted's grumbling tone.
"Isabella, Edward is in Japan."
"I know, sir, but–" She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.
The line went dead, and the intercom made a beeping sound.
Fuck them. She turned to leave when the gate opened, and Ted strolled down the path, with Liz lagging behind him, walking slowly.
"Isabella, our son isn't here. Besides, even if he was, I doubt he would want to have any sort of communication with the likes of you." Ted put his hands on his hips.
"I was just returning the key to the truck. I didn't feel right throwing it away." Bella handed him an envelope with the key inside.
"We don't need the key, but thank you nonetheless. That piece of junk is going to be scrap metal," Liz interjected, trying to keep some civility.
"What? Billy's car? Edward doesn't want to keep it?" Bella blurted. How could he destroy the car?
"Why would he keep that piece of junk from that no-good hobo? We gave him two perfect vehicles," Ted boasted, moving his hand to block his face from the sun. "Are we done here?"
"Billy got down on his luck. Like the rest of us, he will rise above. Good always does." Bella nodded, looking down at her hands. She'd written Edward a letter and tucked it into the envelope as well. They could throw the key away if they wanted, but she needed to leave this with them. She stretched her hand out. "Can you please give this to Edward? I won't ask any more of you both." She looked between the pair, pleadingly.
"Fine." He snatched it from her hands and crumpled it in his palm before he shoved it into his pocket. She started trembling, so she hid her hands behind her back. "Now can you please leave? I have more important things to do with my day."
Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Thank you. And thank you both for taking care of Edward." Her voice began to break when she uttered his name, and she was determined not to cry in front of them, so she turned to exit the compound. Bella looked back once more, staring them both straight in the eyes. "Take care of one another. Nobody deserves to be miserable when you have such a beautiful life." She gulped, running out the gate.
One year later.
Edward zipped up the last duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder. He walked down the stairs of his home, sullen. Not because he was leaving home or his family once again. No, this feeling of dejection was because he'd really lost the one person he loved most. He'd lost her.
Edward had remained in auto-pilot throughout the past year. Only speaking when necessary, not really enjoying life. Just going through the motions. He felt terribly guilty and was unable to move on from what he'd done to the person he loved beyond all measure.
Ted and Liz were waiting at the bottom of the staircase with his passport and travel information in hand. A giant sign hung behind them read: "Congratulations, Edward!" It even had a photo of his face on it. He'd helped close the deal on the UK office expansion, and now Edward was traveling there for the fall semester.
Edward hated it.
"My boy, we are sorry we can't accompany you to the airport, but your mother has some pressure in her legs today."
Liz swatted at Ted. "Oh hush, you! I'm fine. Dr Gerandy said I'm healthy as a horse." She handed Edward his documents, placing a kiss on his cheek.
Edward smiled, faintly, but his mood was still grim. His parents worked overtime over the past months, trying anything and everything to make him happy. But it was of no use; the one person who was his sunshine was pushed away from him by the very people who stood in front of him.
"Edward, I know you're upset about Isabella. But you really need to move on; it's for the best! She must have not felt the same way for you if she ran so easily. Our lifestyle isn't an easy one, but you've included her in so much. Despite the class difference," Ted muttered the last part, elated they were finally rid of the poor orphan girl.
"Class has nothing to do with it. Bella is better than any of those society people," Edward defended, wishing he'd said so many different things along the way.
"Oh yes, Edward. She was special, but you have to accept she's gone. It's been a whole year after all! You can't put your life on hold for someone who can't muster up a phone call or even a letter," Liz appeased, smirking at the mention of a letter.
Liz and Ted had thrown Bella's letter away the second they were back inside their home. Giving Edward the letter would only serve to keep that girl in their lives, and they were grateful to have the trash finally taken out. Edward was none the wiser. The words Bella wanted to convey were as lost as they were to one another.
Edward didn't have the energy to argue with Liz. He dropped the subject and said his goodbyes to his parents. As he climbed into his car, Edward thought about calling Charlie. He made great efforts to stay close to her. Despite their differences, he wasn't going to fail her. He'd already failed someone else.
Driving down past the underpass toward the airport, a dog shot out into the street. Edward slammed on the brakes. He looked at the dog, who was sitting in the middle of the road. Thankful that no other cars were coming, he jumped out of the car. When he approached the dog, Edward realized it was Embry. He leaned down to pet him, and his hands met rough fur, caked in dirt; it was nothing like his usually silky coat. Even while they lived on the streets, Billy always took great care keeping Embry fed and clean. This dog looked frail and was barking like crazy.
Embry jumped on Edward. "Down boy. Where's Billy?" Embry barked louder as he heard his owner's name. The skittish dog took off into the area he and Billy called home. Edward spotted Billy's tent and approached it wearily.
He was then hit with a horrible odor. It smelled like something was decaying. Surely Embry got to an animal, maybe a bird or something.
Edward kept walking toward the tent until Embry's calls became wild. He took off behind the tent. Edward's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Billy?" he called out, hoping it wasn't anyone else.
Edward's hand went into his pocket; he kept his hand tight around his phone. Just in case.
He held his breath as the horrific smell was getting worse and worse.
When he rounded the corner, he saw two limp legs on the ground. Edward ran over, and as he turned the corner fully, he saw Billy lying there. Unconscious. Dead.
His friend was dead. And by the looks of it, he had been dead for a while.
Edward sunk down to his knees, and tears fell from his eyes. He had to look away from the once lively guy he knew and loved like a brother.
Edward took off his suit jacket and covered Billy respectfully. He also proceeded to do the sign of the cross. Edward was not very religious, but it seemed like the right thing to do given the circumstances.
He grabbed his phone to call the authorities and his parents. The least they could do was pay for a proper burial.
Billy had no family or loved ones. The only person besides Charlotte who would care was Bella, and he couldn't even tell her.
Edward whistled for Embry. He looked down at the lost dog and realized in that moment how he felt. More alone than ever.
The hustle and bustle of New York City. The trains, the cars, the smell. Bella was still getting used to it all.
For the past month, she had been staying in a new shelter in the city. Prior to her move, she had been shelter hopping all over New Jersey and worked at several diners. Thankfully Jersey was the diner capital of the world.
Bella just needed to save enough for an apartment, with a roommate of course. She kept looking on Craigslist but couldn't find anything that didn't scream serial killer den.
Her dreams of working as an apprentice at an art gallery had been shut down time after time. But she continued to mail her work, hoping that someone saw something in her, something worth supporting.
Bella pulled on the heavy wooden doors of the post office when she bumped into a small woman hanging something on the bulletin board.
"Oomph. Excuse me. Watch–" The woman with the short pixie haircut turned around ready to scold her assaulter, but when she saw Bella's shocked face, she softened. "Sorry, I'm just hanging these flyers. My roommate left me, and now I'm stuck coming up with this month's rent on my own. Can you believe that? I swear young people these days. No respect." She looked at Bella and smiled. "Oops, no offense."
Bella laughed, a real laugh. Her first real laugh in forever. "S'okay!" Bella tried walking around the thirty-something-year-old, but she was bombarded by the loud, fast=talking woman again.
"Hey! Where do you live? If you don't mind me asking of course. I mean, I swear I don't have a machete under my bed. Just cats. I have three. Oh, are you allergic?" the woman rambled, "How do you feel about Astoria?"
And that was how Bella met Alice.
