"You kissed my wife."

Merlin's face was beet red and Gwen was hiding hers behind her hands.

"As we've established." Merlin stated, "You weren't even close to being together yet, and I was dying."

"His heart stopped." Gwen added

"It was a really long time ago." Merlin said

Arthur held up a hand to stop them.

"That's hilarious." He stated

"Pardon?" Merlin replied

"You two, together. I mean can you imagine."? Arthur laughed

"So you're not mad?" Merlin asked

"No I am not mad that you two kissed once when you were sixteen"" Gwen and Merlin looked at each other and shared a sigh of relief.

"Just don't do it again." Arthur half joked.

"I don't think that will be a problem." Merlin answered.

They skipped the tea and went straight to wine this time.

The tension that had been hovering was mostly gone and for the first time Merlin

could fully be himself.

"She ate frogs?"

"That's what you got from that?"

"She could've given me a disease."

"You are so spectacularly self-centered."

"Were you engaged to her, Merlin?"

"How did you live past twelve?" Arthur asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"I think you've been poisoned more than I have."

"Twice. Just twice"

"So, I guess that means you weren't actually seeing a girl."

"Sorry, to disappoint"

"Well, rest assured. I will not let you die before you get your first girlfriend." Arthur joked.

"For your information I have had two girlfriends." Merlin answered with fake indignance.

"Two whole girlfriends looks like we've got a heartbreaker on your hands

Gwen lightly smacked her husband on the soldier and broke her silence. "Would you like to elaborate, Merlin?"

"One in Ealdor for five minutes. I think she fancied Will more than she did me. And then…." A pause. "Freya"

"Freya?" Arthur asked silently, begging for more information.

"It was a year or so after I came to Camelot. Some bounty hunters brought her to the city. Bastards had her in a cage. I let her out and took her to the castle. She hid in the tunnels and I would bring her food and check on her a few times a day. I guess I started to like being around her. And she seemed to feel the same way."

"So how'd you screw it up?"

Gwen gave a hushed "Arthur" in that admonishing tone only she could use with him.

Merlin debated whether or not it was worth it to tell Arthur what really happened.

"Well it's not like she could live in the tunnels forever. She couldn't stay here, and I couldn't leave, so that was it."

"That's it?" Arthur asked.

"I'm sorry it's not exciting enough for you, but they can't all be epic sagas."

Arthur could tell Merlin was hiding something. But he decided it was best to let it go. He'd tell him when he was ready.

"So, Merlin. All those random falling tree branches and stumbling bandits, were they really coincidences?" Arthur asked.

"I mean I'm sure a few of them were. But mostly it was me."

Arthur thought for a moment.

"Did you ever want to tell me?"

Merlin gave a half laugh. "All the time."

"Why didn't you? I mean wouldn't it have been easier? You have to know I would never have hurt you."

Merlin took a long sip of his wine before answering. "It wasn't that simple. At first, Uther was king."

Arthur stiffened at the mention of his father. As much as he wished it wasn't true Uther would have seen Merlin burned without thinking twice. He looked back up at Merlin silently giving him permission to go on.

"I always thought that when you became king, I could tell you. That we would bring magic back to Camelot together. Like the prophecy said. I never imagined you would lose your father like that. How could I ask you to bring back magic when it had just taken him from you? After that, it always felt too late. I know you would never have killed me, but my destiny, my job is to protect you. I could have been banished or relieved from my duties. I had too much at stake to let that happen." Merlin took a breath, and the mood of the room shifted. Merlin raised his glass to his lips with shaking hands.

"Merlin, what is it?" Arthur asked.

"There's something else. Something I should have told you before."

Gwen spoke for the first time in a few minutes. Both men had forgotten she was there. She saw Merlin's face pale and his eyes wetten threatening to spill over.

"Merlin whatever it is, it's not going to change how we feel about you."

Merlin gave a hollow laugh. He seriously doubted that was true. But he decided that Arthur deserved to know.

" The sorcerer that killed your father, Dragoon." He saw Arthur ball up his fist just hearing the name.

Merlin took a shaky breath. "It was me."

"That's not funny, Merlin." Arthur said through clenched teeth.

"I know. It's not." Merlin murmured the spell that once took him hours to complete. Turning into Dragoon for only a moment before turning back. Gwen blanched and Arthur gripped his glass, so hard Merlin was sure he would shatter it.

"What the hell is this?" Arthur asked. His voice was quiet, and calm, but his eyes were full of anger. Merlin liked it better when he just yelled.

"When your father was hurt I thought I could heal him with magic. I thought I could show you that magic isn't always bad. So I disguised myself. But such a powerful spell needed an artifact to amplify. I didn't find out until later that the one I used had been cursed by Morgana. The spell she used reverses the effects of magic. So, when I tried to heal him. It killed him. I should… I'm gonna go." Merlin stated as he got up out of his chair. He didn't dare look at Arthur's face before closing the door, but he swore he could feel eyes on his back. He wondered if Arthur was reconsidering what he said before. How Merlin could never do anything to make him want to hurt him.