A/N: Thank you so much for all your love and support. I can't believe this story reached over 900 reviews- y'all are rockstars!
Special thank you to Mel Cee for betaing-all mistakes are mine!
Song suggestions: Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons
Down by Jason Walker
I don't own Twilight or the songs I suggest-just my plot;)
"I don't want you to pretend, Bella. This is real. We've always been real." Edward's confidence grew stronger now that he had the knowledge that she still loved him. He inched closer, grazing her fingertips with his, testing the waters. She responded and brushed hers against his too, almost caressing his hand, so gentle, so tender was her touch.
Bella snapped back to reality as she processed Edward's words. While what he said sounded nice and all, she had to get this off her chest. She had to understand why his words and actions sometimes didn't match. "You gave up on me—on us—pretty quickly though. Even after I poured my heart out in that letter—"
Her walls were going up again with the reminder of the letter. The reminder of their history.
"What letter?" Edward asked, puzzled.
Bella examined Edward's face, trying to make heads or tails of whether Edward was lying or genuinely didn't know what she was talking about. She took a breath, pulling her hand back slowly. It wasn't that Bella wanted to lose contact with him, but she couldn't concentrate while he was touching her.
She looked him square in the eye, analyzing his expression to come to a conclusion on whether or not she believed he never read her words. It became too intense for her, so she averted her eyes, staring unseeing out into the street. She took a deep breath to steady herself. "The letter I gave to your parents a month after our fight. I came by your house to return my car keys and gave them a letter I wrote for you," Bella spat, narrowing her eyes at the mention of Liz and Ted. She loathed them both and what they had done to her and their relationship.
"I never got a letter, Bella." Edward's mind raced, going a hundred miles a minute. What did the letter say, and what had happened to it?
It didn't take Edward long to answer the latter of his questions. He had a pretty good idea, but he would tend to that later.
Now was his turn to right for his own wrongdoing.
Edward paused, pondering the words for a moment, not wanting to make a mistake. As he debated how to begin, he realized that in all these years, he'd been so afraid of making mistakes that he in turn made the biggest ones of all. Fuck it, he thought. She owned him anyway, so he might as well just tell her everything, lay it all out in the open.
"Bella?" he asked, hoping she'd meet his eyes again as he moved closer to her. They were practically chest to chest but yet it still felt too far away.
Bella didn't respond, her eyes going everywhere but to Edward's. The thunder rumbled again, this time with a flash of lightning sending shockwaves throughout the city block.
Here goes nothing, Edward thought as he grabbed both her hands in his. This made her finally look at him, and look at him she did.
Bella's brown doe eyes welled with unshed tears as they met Edward's jade ones. In his eyes, she saw a hello to her goodbye, his determination evident in his gaze. In that moment, she knew with certainty this time there would be no goodbye. Neither of them could bear it any longer. Too much time had been stolen from them as it was.
"Bella," Edward said with conviction, rubbing his thumbs along her soft hands that he was cradling. Blinking back tears of his own, he began paraphrasing the book that started it all. Her favorite book, The Velveteen Rabbit. He had memorized every word of that story, having read it to her countless times during their childhood and in the years since. "I love you because with you, I know it's real. Real because I know I don't care how I look to other people when you're around. You are the magic, Bella. The shabbiness doesn't matter because you're real and we're real." Edward's voice cracked as did any walls he had left around him. She'd shattered them all, just like she'd shattered his heart when she ran away from him all those years ago. Edward wouldn't give her a reason to leave again.
He grabbed her face in his hands gently, inching his face closer. So close they were sharing breath. "I'm so sorry for breaking your heart. You are the realest thing about me, and it took me losing you to realize that you're also probably the only real thing about me. It's always been that way. Ever since you tackled me in the kitchen." Bella's heart was beating out of her chest, tears no longer restrained and streaming down her face. Edward lifted their joined hands, using his thumbs to wipe each droplet as it fell along her cheeks. She smiled slowly, afraid she was dreaming. He was saying what she'd always wanted to hear. What she needed to hear.
"Real isn't how you are made. Does it hurt?" Edward inhaled sharply, not able to forget the pain but using it as strength instead of weakness this time. "The answer is yes, it hurts, but I'd rather hurt being real than pretend and feel nothing." He was back to quoting The Velveteen Rabbit again. With that, Bella sobbed uncontrollably, and Edward released her hands so he could continue wiping her tears. He looked at her tenderly, rubbing the pad of his thumb over her cheek and down to her lips. Yearning to be closer to him, she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him, lessening the already minute distance between them. Similar to the very first day when they were just two naive kids, looking for something real. And somewhere in between nursery magic and the painful outside world, they found their real. Real love. Real everything.
They clung to each other tightly, Edward's hands moving up and down her back, caressing her, sighing in relief at finally being able to hold her again. Bella's fingers grasped the back of his shirt like he was a raft in the ocean, bringing her back to shore. Edward pulled back slightly as raindrops slowly fell from the dark sky above, beginning to soak into their skin and clothing.
He looked down at Bella, and in that moment, he saw the same little girl who made him real. The woman would make him real forever.
Edward caressed her cheek, testing the waters on touching his beloved freely again.
When she leaned into his touch, he grew weak. He leaned down and brushed his lips to hers tentatively. Angling his head back, he met her eyes, asking for approval to push forward. He'd been waiting for this moment for too long. She had too. They'd both just been too busy pretending to realize it.
Bella nodded her head before closing the gap between them. He met her halfway, cupping his hands along the side of her face, leaned in and traced his tongue along the seam of her lips and waited for her to grant him access. Once she did, opening them on a gasp, they were ravenous at the taste of one another. He nipped at her lips, as her small fingers grasped at the back of his neck, playing with the hair there that was now damp from the rain. Edward pulled back and then put his lips to her ear, his warm and delightfully scented breath making goosebumps rise all over her body.
"I wanna love you until all my whiskers fall off," Edward whispered, placing a kiss on her temple. She whimpered, missing his lips already. He chuckled, grateful they felt the same way at the loss of contact.
Bella peered up at him, with the same devotion she always had for only him, and spoke her favorite quote that was always meant for him. "Once you become real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
After she'd uttered the phrase, she pressed her kissing-induced plump lips to his. All the while, the rain poured harder down on them from above, saturating through their clothing, causing it to stick to their skin and droplets to drip from every inch of the pair.
Edward froze as her tongue grazed his lips. She was so fucking perfect, and she had to be his. He wanted her more than he wanted anything before. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't hard as a rock as her small frame pressed against him.
Realizing he didn't answer her declaration, he parted from her with great effort on both counts. Upon breaking apart, the pair gasped for air, and he nodded, assuring her, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Bella's heart swelled at his words, and she couldn't wipe the wide grin off her face. Blinking to try to rid her eyes of the combination of the rain and her now happy tears, she realized it was a lost cause.
Neither one couldn't care less that they were getting drenched in the pouring rain. That was until another thunderbolt flashed high in the sky, illuminating the air around them. The rain grew heavier, pelting raindrops onto the couple, the sting of the pellets of water almost painful. Bella shivered, cursing herself for not having grabbed a jacket on her rush out the door. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving him just yet, but she knew they couldn't stand out in this downpour much longer.
As if he was reading her mind, Edward took Bella's hand in his and pulled her in the opposite direction than they were facing.
"Come on. Let's get you out of the rain."
She laughed and rejoiced at their renewed connection. Their reunion wasn't getting cut short. They had many years to catch up on, after all.
Running in the rain, the fools basked in the feeling of being in love. Finally being able to come clean and rid themselves of the lies and mistakes that once broke them had made them feel lighter.
Edward tucked Bella under his arm once they reached the lobby of his apartment building, ducking inside the elevator quickly as soon as it arrived. Bella leaned into his side, her fingertips scratching Edward's scruff along his chin. He hadn't shaved for the engagement party. Ever since his blowup with Ted at the shareholders' dinner, he had abandoned the clean-cut, cookie cutter image that his parents had tried to get him to maintain. He'd start to throw all the rules he'd been given out the window, trying to figure out what it was that he wanted. What he liked.
He leaned in to kiss her once more, desperate for her touch. She moved her fingers along the sides of his face, pulling him down to her. Their lips met in the most sensual and painfully slow way. It was almost like dancing, a feeling of coming home. Relief and agony. Only agony because he wanted more.
Before they could get very far in their rediscovery of one another, the elevator dinged, signaling their arrival, and the door opened. Edward led her through his foyer to greet Embry, who was resting on the couch.
The usually lazy dog perked up and hopped next to Bella, who stood beside the couch.
She crouched down to ruffle his fur, showering him with affection.
Edward eyed his girl and his dog, and he found himself growing jealous of Embry, already missing the taste of her. His girl. Damn, did that sound right. But was he getting ahead of himself—was she his girl? Would she even want to be his once she got to know the person he'd become after all these years? Would she still want him after she found out about Tanya?
Now more than ever, he cursed that fucking decision and how weak he'd been.
The sound of water sloshing on the floor reminded Edward of their dripping wet clothing. "I'll go get towels," Edward muttered.
As he walked to the en-suite bathroom, he was overcome with emotions of having her in his house. Playing with Embry. In such close proximity to his bed. It felt all too domestic yet oh so right. It frightened him—the power she had over him. He reflected on how easily she'd lied to him and how quickly he'd believed her. He shook his head and walked back to the living room, white fluffy towels in hand.
"Here you are." He handed her one of the towels, drying his own hair with the other.
The room was eerily quiet, neither of them wanting to be the first one to break the silence. Embry sensed the tension in the air and moved back to the corner of the room, settling away from the couple.
The lovers stood motionless, chests moving up and down with their heavy breaths as they eyed each other, hesitating and restraining all at once.
Edward took one step forward, reaching his hand out to move a damp curl from her face.
That slight touch was all it took to cause the tension to snap like a rubber band, and Bella lunged toward Edward, wrapping her legs around his waist. Her movement was so sudden and unexpected, Edward almost dropped her, but he managed to steady himself, gripping her ass for leverage.
She attacked his mouth with a ferocity that he had never experienced before. Teeth clacked against each other, hands roamed over places they were afraid to explore as freely all those years ago. They were just kids back then, unsure about how to please each other and themselves. This was not the case now. Edward and Bella were adults who knew what they wanted. Finally.
"Fuck." Edward groaned as Bella moved her hips against his. She smirked her plump lips, enjoying this newfound control she had over him.
Bella cupped his face, pulling him in for another kiss. At the same time, he pulled back. Bella looked at him, questioningly, thrusting her hips to his once more, tightening her hold around his neck.
"Bella." Edward closed his eyes, panting and trying to regain some semblance of control. Before he allowed things to go any further, he knew he had to tell her the truth, and this seemed as good a time as any for him to do so.
She scratched the hairs on the nape of his neck, giving him a puzzled expression. Did Edward not want her? Was it because she lied about not loving him? Her mind worked overtime, and Edward could practically hear her wheels turning. He walked them over to the couch and sat down, pulling her with him. She adjusted herself above him so that she was straddling his lap.
"Baby, I'm sorry," he whispered, caressing her cheek tenderly, lovingly. Bella could barely concentrate as he used her old pet name, and her heart swelled ten times its normal size. "I have to tell you something, and after I tell you, I'll understand if you don't want to continue this." He motioned between him and her. She examined his face, trying to guess what upsetting thing she was about to be burdened with, but she nodded for him to proceed. She was confused but curious enough to hear what he was going to say.
"I slept with Tanya Denali." The room went silent, and you could hear a pin drop.
Bella's jaw went slack, and she leaned back in his lap so she was farther away from him and his orbit drawing her in. Edward winced at her pulling back both physically and mentally, and he tightened his grip on her hips, praying that she wouldn't run. Even if they didn't continue exploring one another in a sexual way, her leaving would ruin him for good this time.
Moments passed, and all Bella did was stare into his green eyes. A thousand thoughts crossed her mind.
"Say something please," Edward pleaded, his head collapsing forward heavily to rest against her chest.
"Was it recently?" she murmured. Her body involuntarily shuddered at the thought of him in that way with somebody so vile.
Edward shook his head. "No, and it only happened once. Doing that with her was the biggest mistake. I'm so sorry." He willed himself to keep his emotions at bay. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the disgust on her face.
Her face crumpled when she thought of her previous sexual experiences during their separation. "Edward." His head flew up, and his eyes opened, at the sound of her voice, drawing him in.
"I was with someone else as well," she croaked, biting her lip. "Two people technically, if you count—" He covered her mouth with his palm. The last thing he wanted to hear was how other guys had their hands on what was his. What had always been his.
Bella moved her mouth to the side slightly and said, "I take it that it's all in the past?" There was the slightest hint of humor in her tone.
"Absolutely. There is no one in this world that could ever compare to you. No one I could ever want as much as you," he said, dropping the hand from over her mouth and grasping hers.
"Well, good. And there's no one else for me. I want you, and only you. But thank you for telling me. Keeping secrets from one another only got in the way before, and I don't want to do that again. So enough with the heavy. How about we get back to what we were doing?"
"Fuck, yes," Edward muttered, delving his hands into her hair, while his mouth nibbled, licked, and kissed every part of her lips and neck. She moaned loudly, grabbing at the nape of his neck, holding him closer. Mine.
He leaned back and pulled her shirt off, the wet material clinging to her skin on its way up. He threw it somewhere across the room, causing it to land with a splat. Bella whimpered at the loss of contact with his lips.
She tugged at his button down, yanking it out of the waistband of his slacks before starting on the buttons. Edward grew frustrated by the slow pace and pulled it over his head unfinished, popping a button or two in the process.
Her black lace bra was next to fly somewhere in Edward's living room. The pair heard a yelp and turned to see the lacy material had landed on top of Embry. The poor dog looked startled and scurried out to the room and into Edward's office. They let out twin laughs at the hilarity of the moment, so caught up in one another they'd forgotten about the other occupant of the room. The moment grew tense again as Edward's eyes darted down to take in the creamy skin he'd revealed. He looked down at her perfect breasts, the skin pale and smooth, her nipples tight from the chilled air they'd just come in from. They were even more stunning than he remembered. Edward's thumbs became reacquainted with them, caressing them, enjoying the heavy feel against his palms. The sounds she was making, little breathy moans, encouraged him to continue.
She moved her lips to his neck, sucking and biting. Mine. Bella needed to claim her man again. It had been too long.
Edward's hands moved to palm the swell of her ass, grinding her over the sizable bulge in his dress slacks.
"Oh fuck." She groaned, closing her eyes at the sensations, loving how he could make her feel.
"I plan on it, baby, but first I want to make love to my girl." He smirked, lifting them semi-effortlessly, making Bella gasp. His lips crashed to hers, hungry for her. Edward carried them throughout the apartment until they reached the foot of the bed, where he gingerly laid her down, pausing to look at the woman he almost lost for good. He almost came undone at the sight of her, hair wild and loose, splayed across his sheets, a blissful smile on her face. It all felt so right, and long overdue.
Edward unbuttoned her jeans and yanked the damp denim all the way off. She was wearing only a simple pair of white cotton panties, but Bella never needed fancy shit to be sexy as all hell. She shimmied out of her underwear and lay back on the bed.
Edward undid his belt, popping the button on his dress slacks, before allowing the material to fall to the ground. Once he was free, he kneeled on the bed, making his way over to her. His cock twitched from the sight of her. Fuck, she was breathtaking. His dream come true since as long as he could remember.
He reached into the nightstand and grabbed a condom, not taking his eyes off of the beautiful creature in his bed.
Bella lifted onto her forearms as he pulled down his boxers. She eyed him up and down as he sheathed himself, giving him a sexy grin when she saw how much he wanted her. "You're mine." Bella hummed, as she collapsed back on the bed, pulling him to hover over her.
Edward responded as his hands roamed everywhere. He was a desperate man, frantically moving up and down her body, not knowing where to stop or start, until she was arching her back, pushing her breasts into his chest.
"Are you sure?" His eyes flickered to hers, checking for any signs of apprehension. All he saw was want, desire, and most importantly, love.
She nodded feverishly. "I'm sure. Sure about us." That was all the reassurance Edward needed.
"Always us." Edward breathed as their foreheads pressed against one another. Mine. Real.
His chest heaved as Edward maneuvered the tip of cock to her opening, slipping slowly inside her.
They groaned simultaneously at the feeling of being joined, their bodies wrapped around the other. It was a feeling of being consumed. A feeling of finally. A comforting feeling with a brand new edge.
"I want…oh." Bella breathed as he kissed her neck, his palm pressed firmly on the mattress next to her head.
"What, baby?" He groaned. She was sublime wrapped around him, her inner muscles clenching as she raised her hips to let him slide deeper. Wet. Hot. Tight. Perfect. He rotated his hips, meeting her thrust for thrust. Lightning bolts flashed in the dark room, illuminating their love-making.
"I love you. I have ever since I was a little kid. I lied." She panted, clawing at his back, tightening her legs around his waist. Bella dug her feet into his ass, urging him to go harder, faster. He sped up his thrusts, drawing out a deep moan from her.
"I've loved you since you threw me on that kitchen floor." Edward sucked in a breath of air, letting out a small chuckle. Beads of sweat poured down from his forehead, as he gripped the sheets tighter and tighter.
The cries of pleasure they were making surrounded the room. They were completely lost in one another. Nothing else mattered. It was all noise.
Edward took one of his hands and moved it between them, rubbing the spot he knew would cause Bella to fall apart. Her tits crushed up to his chest. Her nails dug into his back with more pressure, her mouth kissing him in between pants and cries of 'fuck' and 'oh god.'
Soon she tipped over the edge, her body shaking with the force of her orgasm. He swallowed her cries, savoring every bit of her pleasure. This moment would be etched into his memory for the rest of his life. Bella's smell, taste, the fucking feel of her—nothing could compare. Everything paled in comparison. Edward couldn't hold back any longer and he followed behind her into ecstasy. Edward was a goner. He came hard, completely ruined by how well she loved him and let him love her.
"God…shit…Bella…oh…God."
As they came down from their high, their breathing started to steady, their fingers gently tracing along sticky skin. Edward pulled out of her, moving to the side to dispose of the condom. With that taken care of, he gathered Bella into his arms tightly. He kissed her temple, as she traced circles on his chest.
Edward laughed out of nowhere as they worked on regulating their breathing. Bella shifted in the bed to look at him in the darkness of the room. The moonlight and lightning acted as natural illumination as she tried to make out his expression.
"What's so funny?" Bella questioned, flicking his chest with her fingers.
Edward pouted, kissing her on the lips once more. "I was thinking how I'll finally get a good night's sleep with you here," he said, bemused, inhaling her scent.
Bella snorted. "Seriously? That's what you're thinking about after what we just did?"
Edward nodded into the crook of neck. "I haven't slept since you left," he whispered. "Not really." His breath on her neck gave her goosebumps.
"I can imagine." Bella went quiet, too quiet. Edward knew what she was thinking about. The regrets. The what ifs.
"Stop, Bella, we're together now. That's all that matters."
After post-coital bliss and cuddles, Bella got out of bed, needing to stretch her deliciously achy limbs and use the bathroom. Once she was done, she went to check on Embry, who was probably scarred for life. Throwing on Edward's semi-dry white button down and haphazardly buttoning it, she made her way into the foyer, headed for his office. A gasp resounded throughout the apartment.
"Edward, why is my painting of us hanging in your apartment?"
A/N: Is it hot in here is it just me? ;) Let me know your thoughts!
