TOON WARS SHORTS
Trench Quest
By Frozarburst
Trench has been internally injured for sometime now. He's been diagnosed with a major concussion that quickly caused his mental stability to waver. Naturally lanolions, or more simply goats, range from aggressive behavior to playfulness. But this time, Trenchard is neither. Almost miindless. He's sat and tucked on a pinkish-grey mat under red covers being checked up in the royal castle of Rhybloflaven by the fantastic Jimmy Neutron and old Professor MaBarnacle.
MaBarnacle holding a potion: Well lads, I've done all I could, with a bit of assistance from the boy genius, of course.
Jimmy: I wish there were more I could do for him, but even with my science, it's too risky for someone from another world like him…
Nyando: What happened anyway?
Familiar: Bimm turned into a werecat and gave him a concussion.
Nyando cringing: Ooh..!
Bimm laying her head against Trench: I'm so sorry Trenchard! I didn't know what I was doing! Now look what I've done…
Cattus comforting Bimm: Don't be upset, honey. We'll get through this with him. Even if his mind isn't quite the same as it were before.
Nyando: You mean, mentally he isn't there all the way?
Jimmy: Well, to put it lightly, yes. But he's still healthy. You'll just have to watch over him.
Simone: And ya mean to tell us YOU of all folk can't fix this guy?! I thought Sheen said you had a brain hat or something!
Jimmy: Oh yeah. The Brain Drain Helmet! I once converted it into a Brain Gain Helmet, but it resulted in Sheen's I.Q and his brain continuously growing until he physically couldn't sustain it. I worry if I do something like that with Trench, it'll just make things worse.
Bimm getting teary-eyed: Aah…
Nyando patting Bimm's back: Well, hey, it's not all that bad. Sure, he isn't completely like he used to, but he isn't dead either. I think he can still do something even if he's not all the way there.
Trench with a broken grin: Baaah…
Nyando: See? He believes it.
Bimm: Well, we never really had him as a real family member before. He just occasionally visited town.
Cattus smiling: Perhaps it's time we did then. We can make sure he is well fed, groomed, and everything else a pet -no, a friend needs.
Nyando: You're right. You know Dad, I think maybe he needs time to breath right now. I'll take him out for a walk around the scenic part of town. Give him something to do in a safe place.
Bimm: Make sure you're back by 5 this time. I don't wanna have to drag you and Simone to bed again.
Nyando: Ah, com'on! It ain't that serious, Mom! (Picks up leash) …Er, well, technically it is. But I'll be back. Don't ya worry. (Helps Trench up) Let's go, Trench ol' goat!
Trench falling on his side: Bugh…(Sticks tongue out)
Nyando dragging Trench: Ahehe… Eeh, this is gonna take a while.
A few minutes later, into the town of Rhybloflaven as its still under reconstruction, Nyando walks Trench around to see if he can relax his warped mind. Bring him at peace is the idea. While the young cat is walking in a straight line, though, Trench is occasionally wobbling from side to side losing focus. Eventually, he sniffs out the grass by the trees of the medieval park like a dog.
Nyando: Aw, really dude? Grass? What's so special about grass?
Trench finishes sniffing and lifts his head back to Nyando after hearing what he said.
Nyando: Oh. Sorry. I guess that wasn't the best choice of words, huh?
Trench instantly flops down on his chin, still looking forward as though he's lost his focus completely.
Nyando: Uugh… Listen Trench, there's gotta be something I can do with you in the state you're in.
Distant Voice: Go long, Dipsy!
Nyando turning to his right: Huh..?
In the open area of the park, Danelda plays with a pet German Shepard who catches a red frisbee she threw from a long distance. Every time she catches it, though, she lets go and the young rabbit uses her Gravity Magisword to pull it back toward herself.
Nyando: Ooh! There's an idea! (Tugs on leash) Let's go play fetch, buddy!
Trench jets like a plane to the field, springing Nyando forward when he stops on a time! The poor anthro's face collides with the goat's wool and slides gently off.
Nyando with a flattened head: Uugh…(Pops head back in shape) Ok. Tugging increases the speed.
Narrator: MINI WHIRLWIND MAGISWORD!
Nyando spawns a small frisbee made of visible air that can be held by hand for extended periods of time.
Nyando: See this frisbee, Trench?
Trench stares at the toy and tries licking it, causing his tongue to whack himself in the face from the force of wind! This mildly irritates him.
Nyando: Yes, perfect! Use that anger! (Tosses frisbee) Catch it!
Trench runs after the frisbee at high speed without Nyando holding his leash. However, even after catching the toy, he still keeps charging forward, through the fence, through the trees, to the old house Penny Plasm the ghost haunts! Disappointed and shocked, Nyando simply slouches over with his mouth gaped open, seeing his friend now carrying Penny on his back while she desperately holds onto his horns, exposing her vivid eyes!
Penny: AAAAGH!
Nyando: Ah dang..!
After a few more minutes, Trench is brought to a familiar-looking meadow distant from Rhybloflaven. The sun shines down on them in the pretty blue skies, and the flowers bloom gracefully with the rhythm of the wind.
Nyando with kiss marks on his left cheek: That horny ghost lady sure had a thing for anyone that moves. But thankfully, I think we've avoided her. Anyway, here's the meadow Mom told me she saw you again. (Points forward) Why don't you and I come frolic in the grass or something girly like they say?
Trench sounding like a horse: REHEHEEE!
The young lanolion begins to charge and hop over the tall grass with Nyando flying next to him using his Magisword. While Trench is bouncing like a rabbit, but enjoying himself regardless, Nyando's worries end as he glides about, closing his eyes and taking in the fresh scent of roses and nectar. He lets out a cheerful, "WEEEHEHEE" until he crashes right into a large boulder in the way of his path! Again, his face goes completely flat like a pancake, but it gets stuck against the rock. All while Trench comes to a complete stop and begins to bang his horns against it, wagging his tail nonstop as though he's trying to mimic Nyando. The sounds echo across the field toward the mountains nearby, and a quiet but slowly rising rumble can be heard. The two friends are no longer alone, as over 20 rams, goats, and several other aggressive animals make a run for them; likely disturbed by their crashing. Nyando removes his face from the boulder and pops it back to its original shape. But it takes no time to startle him from the sight of the incoming herd of mountain creatures. Normally they'd be frolicking, but this time they're angrily trying to reach them. Seeing Trenchard still beating his head against the wide object, the heroic Nyando takes his Whirlwind Magisword and unleashes a massive wave of air at the horde, blowing everyone of them back from the sheer force of the defense attack! Afraid, they all flip themselves over and run back where they came from, letting the young cat let out a sigh of relief, only to still be left disappointed when he notices Trench humping the boulder. More minutes pass, eventually becoming hours into the evening when they try other things. Some more bizarre than others, like Trench crushing grapes in a barrel, which he did efficiently but fast enough to completely smash the barrel and drill deep into the Earth. In another attempt, Nyando picks cabbage from a crop field for Old Man David. But when Trench tries it, he eats them and smashes the ones he doesn't like. Nyando himself believes its partially his fault for directing him toward the really good ones, but David doesn't get upset and wishes him good luck. He even gets help from the Warriors for Hire, who both try to remind Trench how he once rammed into the both of them to give him back his original traits. But instead of bumping into them, he gently nudges his head on their faces like a kitten. More disappointed than ever, Nyando walks along a straight path like he did before, this time on his way back to the castle with Trench still on a leash. However, Trench is now lopsided and seemingly lowered in intelligence.
Nyando dragging Trench: Oh Trench… This just isn't working anymore. You had the ideas down, but the execution isn't doing it. I'm just not sure if you'll ever live like a normal pet… Like a pal.
Trench sitting back up: BARK! (Pants heavily)
Nyando: Well, at least you're listening to me. Matter of fact, you've been pretty obedient when you've been working. Not the best at it, but you tried!
Trench: O!
Nyando kneeling: I guess, what I'm trying to say is, I know you're less than perfect. I know you sometimes run to fast or bone a boulder or bark like a mutt. But you're still a good partner to me, even if it was just for a few hours. Trench you're-
Suddenly, a loud bang goes off behind Nyando, whose raising his ears in surprise. He is quick to turn around, seeing an incredibly large dinosaur with a crown and around 5 smaller reptilian guards on either side of him.
Rexxtopher: Greetings little snack! You're in my way.
Nyando: Wait, who're you?!
Rexxtopher: You've never heard of the great king Rexxtopher?! I rule my own kingdom next door to the primitives.
Dino Guard 1: We've distanced ourselves from you lowly creatures centuries ago when the Zange rein had begun.
Dino Guard 2: And it wasn't helped when they adopted these toys in sticks more and more warriors became obsessed with and don't get me started.
Rexxtopher: The Princess didn't help any better by leaving to some other planet after the whole siege of this ugly RPG! Some of the androids had invaded our territory, and we were dependent on some of her allies' resources she promised us…
Nyando: Oh that sounds nice.
Rexxtopher: …That never came.
Nyando: Oh…
Rexxtopher: Until she gets here, I claim the castle and it's people as my own. (Reaches Down) In fact, I'm not very fond of you either.
Nyando gets lifted by the tail with the dino king's two little claws, dropping his Magisword
Nyando squirming: H-hey! Put me down! I didn't do nothin'!
Dino Guard 1: The fact that you live in the castle is good enough.
Rexxtopher: Don't worry though, kid. I'm gonna keep you locked up tight in my belly until we sort this out. And I'll make sure to invite your Mom and Pop too!
Nyando: Aw heck no! Hey, Trench! A little help here?!
Trench rolling on his back like a dog: EKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!
Nyando: Oh whaaaat?! Come on dude! I'm your bro!
Rexxtopher: Ignore the Lanolion Mix, boys. It's unstable enough as it is. We could at least spare the poor little guy in respect to his disability. Bottoms up!
Nyando about to be eaten: If ya don't help me out, there won't be anymore boulders to plow or people's faces to nudge on! Imagine what kinda places you'd run into at that rate! …Wait. (Pulls out Frisbee)
Nyando looks at his still intact Frisbee and pieces together a few things: Playing fetch, Lanolion Mix, Head Nudging, ramming into things, house pet, command following… It all adds up to one small solution that just might work.
Nyando: Trench, play fetch! (Tosses Frisbee)
Trench scooting on his butt: WOOF WOOF! (Pauses in realization)
Before the king dinosaur could drop Nyando, the Frisbee bumps into his belly and distracts him. In a split second, Trench bashes into his gut so hard that it makes him spit out a small chunk of blood and pushes him down hard onto the ground! His minions take defensive positions when Trench catches the toy with his mouth and Nyando lands next to him, still standing on Rexxtopher.
Nyando: Cool beans, bud!
Dino Guard 3 aiming: Get him!
Nyando tossing a Frisbee again: Trench, on your left!
Trench turns back and lunges himself in what feels like lightspeed into the two guards facing him! He comes back around and hits the other 3 minions trying to stomp on him! The remaining 5 try to rush Nyando, but he simply uses his Whirlwind Magisword to swirl them in the air in a circle formation. While they're suspended, Nyando aims a barrel at the center of the spinning circle, prompting Trench to jet herself into it like he's crushing grapes, only to bust through it and rapidly kick the goons in their vitals all at once! The dinosaurs all fall to the ground and the 10 of them surround their leader beaten and broken. Desperate, King Rexxtopher lifts himself back to his hind legs putting both hands together pleading with his men, who are busy bowing.
Rexxtopher shaking: OK ok! We give! We won't take over! Just take your pet monster and go away, please!
Nyando: He ain't a pet. (Fist bumps Trench's hoove) He's my best friend! Sorry about the trouble, but you'll get what's due when the Captain comes back from her trip. And also, you should be glad Trench ain't my papa, cause it could've been a lot worse. Which, as a matter of fact, I think my mom is gonna want an answer as to why I'm 6 minutes late for dinner. OH MOMMA! PAPA!
Rexxtopher getting back up: OH GOD! BOLT! BOOOLT! (Hastily stomps away)
Dino Guards grabbing onto Rex's tail: AAAAAGH!
The dinosaurs run back to their kingdom in fear while the two friends watch them leave; both smiling with each other.
Nyando crossing his arms: There we go. And three, two-
Before Nyando could finish counting, a serious Bimm bashes through a tree like iron with Cattus right behind her angrily wielding his Whirlwind Magisword.
Bimm bracedin a deep voice: WHERE'S MY BABY?!
Nyando: Did you just blow a hole through a tree..?!
Cattus still serious: Boy. Troube. Where?
Nyando: Chill out guys! I already told em off. But not without Trench taking care of em first!
Bimm calming down: Trenchard..?
Cattus putting his sword down: What happened here?
Nyando: King T-Rex came in looking for the princess and was planning on ruling the castle. He tried swallowing me to prove a point, and Trench came in and beat him and goons till they ran screaming like ladies-
Bimm growling: Mmm…!
Nyando: Let me rephrase that. Screaming like an a supervillain in an old comic book.
Bimm: Wow! (Kneels to Trench) You… You actually saved our son! I can't believe it! I thought you'd never be the same again!
Trench flips over to his back and looks at Bimm for a belly rub.
Bimm shrugging: …Well, almost the same.
Cattus: I knew there was still hope for you yet, Trenchard! You're a real hero!
Trench wagging his tail happily: Mmmm…
Nyando: Sorry for the late return n' all, but how bout we get back home now? I'm starving.
Cattus: Yes! Trench, how about you lead the way?
Trench galloping: REEEEEEE!
Trench trots away and Cattus lifts Bimm and Nyando with his Magisword. All four of them make a dash back home to the royal castle, and Trench is once again happy. Even with his injuries, he still makes the most of himself no matter what. He isn't the same as he used to, but he's still their friend…
