Chapter 17: A New Normal

Glimmer sat forward in her chair with her elbows on the desk, rubbing at her temples to soothe the headache brewing there while she stared at Adora's hopeful face through the ansible. It had been three years since they last saw each other in person, but to her eyes, god…Adora might as well have aged almost a decade.

"I haven't been able to find any new information on the Daiamid," Glimmer said. "It doesn't look like the Enclave has any special records other than what's already available to the general public."

All the hope in Adora's eyes vanished, as was expected, and Glimmer felt the wave of guilt she had prepared for hit her like a bus. She had been traveling for days in hyperspace aboard an Enclave cruiser, having just come off another deployment that taxed her more than she'd care to admit. Kicking Adora while she was down was exactly what she didn't need right then and there.

"How is that possible?" Adora asked, brow creasing in thought. "How can they stop an apocalyptic event dead in its tracks but there's literally almost no information about them?"

"I'm sorry," Glimmer said. If only she could just reach through the stupid ansible and hug her, but communicating in real time across hundreds of light years of distance as they were was miracle enough, she supposed.

Adora shook her head. "It's not your fault, I'm sorry for getting upset. It's just, you'd think there would be something to go off of. There isn't even a mention of where they came from."

"They're all dead and gone, Adora, and they were the Emperor's personal assassins. He's controlling the narrative, like he's always done. I thought maybe there'd be something in the Enclave's personal archives, but he must have had everything about them scrubbed even from there a long time ago."

Adora blinked at her. "You've been doing that for a while now."

"Doing what?"

"Calling him the Emperor."

Glimmer sighed and slumped down a little further in the chair. "That's because he is the Emperor, Adora. No one out here calls him Horde Prime."

It really wasn't as big a deal as Adora was making it out to be. One of the first things Glimmer had learned about the empire was, while Horde Prime was about as bad as they came, everyone else were just regular people like her or Catra or her parents, trying to live their lives. The Emperor was a despot, sure, but his empire was actually a stable place for most. Glimmer had come to understand Taline's reluctance to fight for her sister's name after learning how much doing so might have jeopardized the stability of all of society after the end of the war.

Still, even though Adora knew that about the empire, she wouldn't understand it, and she was still sensitive to all the changes that had happened over the years since they parted. Glimmer couldn't really blame her for being so constantly wound tight; even seeing her with her hair styled short with an undercut for the first time had knocked Adora off balance, and Glimmer was convinced it would only stun her again if she ever decided to grow it out to its original length she had as queen.

Adora sat forward toward the ansible and brought both hands up to fret at the braid tucked high at the back of her head. "It's fine, I get it, just…what am I supposed to do now?"

"Have you asked Salas about it?" The look Adora gave her said everything she needed to know and Glimmer grew impatient. "Salas would know more than me in the first place, Adora. He's been around longer, likely has access to more sensitive information than a rookie would have—"

"A genius rookie," Adora said, interrupting her

Glimmer waved her off. "Whatever, you know what I mean. If there's a single person who could point you in the right direction with the Daiamid, it'd be Salas. Why haven't you asked him about it?"

Adora fidgeted and spoke in a quiet, almost shy voice. "I don't want to bother him."

"Are you for real right now?" Glimmer asked. One second, she wanted to hug her through the ansible and the next she wanted to reach through and wring her neck.

"What? He's got a million and one other things on his mind he has to keep track of. I don't want to get in the way of that just to ask him about some wild goose chase of a theory I have."

"And why is it that you've come to this 'wild goose chase' of a theory in the first place? Oh yeah. Because despite everything you've tried for the past three straight years, you still haven't been able to reconnect with She Ra. You're desperate."

Adora froze and her lip trembled and Glimmer immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry." she said with a sigh. "I didn't mean to sound so angry about it. I'm coming off three deployments back-to-back and I can sense how stressed out you are. And that's making me more stressed…like a feedback loop."

Adora shrugged. "It's okay."

"It makes sense what you're doing and I get why you want to look into it," Glimmer said. "Especially since you've tried literally everything else. Extreme training sessions with Mermista and Scorpia? Beating the crap out of hundreds of Entrapta's bots for hours with Frosta when she needs to blow off just as much steam as you? Endless magic training sessions with my parents?" Glimmer held up fingers as she counted off the crazy stories Adora had shared with her over the years, all in attempt after attempt to reconnect with her powers. "Remember when you tried those hallucinogenic leaves and went on a six-day meditation binge with Perfuma?"

Adora groaned and threw her head back in her chair, all trace of hurt replaced with embarrassment. "Don't remind me," she said. "I couldn't tell up from down and those six days felt like six years."

"You made out with one of those pretty royals from her court as well," Glimmer said, a grin spreading across her face.

"Who told you about that!?" Adora covered her face with her hands. "Did Perfuma tell you?"

"You bet your ass she did! Oh my god, she said you made that poor noble walk around in a daze for a week because of that." Glimmer snorted and almost fell off her chair with laughter.

Adora pulled her hands away from her face, revealing mortified eyes and a tomato-red complexion. "I needed to soak in the tub for hours just to feel clean again after that. And I still wasn't any closer to getting She Ra back!"

"Yeah, but that's probably the most relaxed I'd ever seen you since we took that trip to Mystacor and did the hot springs. You've tried everything except taking a vacation, Adora. The planning and political meetings will go on without you for a week or two, why don't you just take some time off for the sake of your own sanity?"

Adora hemmed and hawed, talking about not being able to relax even if she took time off.

"If you're not going to think about taking a break, then will you at least agree to talk to Salas?" Glimmer asked. "I mean it when I say your line of thinking makes sense. The Daiamid were powerful enough to rebuff Battlemages like Taline and shove the Beast on its ass. She Ra is just as powerful, if not more so. There has to be something you can learn from them if we can just get our hands on the information."

"Salas has started pulling me from meetings," Adora said, voice turning small again.

"He's what?"

"You mentioned that planning and political meetings will go on without me, like that's a good reason for me to take a break from them. But they've already been going on without me for a few weeks now. I haven't been able to join the last few sessions. There's a list you have to be on to be let in, and I've been removed. He's the only one I can think of that would do that."

Glimmer furrowed her brow. That didn't seem right. "And let me guess, you haven't gone and asked him about that either?"

Adora shook her head. "I think he's starting to lose faith in me. Why else would he take me off? I know this sounds stupid, but I'm afraid to go and talk to him about it only to see him look back at me and tell me how I'm disappointing everyone…that I'm a failure for still not getting this."

Glimmer nodded. "That's not a stupid thing to be afraid of, Adora, especially since there's a lot riding on your shoulders. But I don't think you're being excluded because he's losing faith in you. You're She Ra, they need you. My guess is he's trying to forcefully give you more time for yourself rather than stress you out with more meetings."

"I don't know…" Adora said, rubbing her shoulders and looking away.

"You're driving yourself insane trying to get back in touch with your powers. You're right that it's a matter of galactic concern that you haven't been able to yet, but I also don't think anyone has any room to judge. I would be clawing my eyes out if that was still happening to me after three years. Screw Salas and his busy schedule. Put yourself in front of him and tell him you need his help. I guarantee you he isn't shutting you out, Adora. Your issues are worth being addressed."

Glimmer had spoken to Salas more than a few times through the ansible since her departure; he was her main point of contact for updates on Etheria and the Heart project. That, coupled with what Taline had said about him during their time together, only cemented the idea in her head he was a strong and true ally despite their initial introductions.

Adora brightened, and she even gave Glimmer a small smile, although it didn't reach to her eyes. "Okay," she said. "I'll think about it. I'm still invited to the Induction Ceremony in a few days, so I should have the perfect opportunity to get some one-on-one time with him."

Glimmer grimaced. Adora's mention of the ceremony made her think of Narre and Miri's deaths aboard the Emperor's citadel. Adora must have caught on because her smile disappeared.

"Are you okay?" Adora asked, leaning closer to the ansible to get a better look at her.

"Yeah, fine." Glimmer rubbed harder at her temples. "How have the nightmares been for you recently?"

"They've started picking up again," Adora said, looking troubled. "It's always on the anniversary and it's always of the same thing. I'm guessing it's the same with you?"

Glimmer nodded. They didn't say anything for a while after that. They didn't need to. While the nightmares of the Beast subsided with time, they always returned for a bit around the anniversary of the Emperor's invasion of Etheria—when Taline had first stepped between them and the Emperor back on the citadel.

"How is Catra doing?" Adora asked, breaking the silence.

A number of responses filtered through Glimmer's brain with the surprise at hearing Adora ask that question. She chose to lead with the safest possible response. "I haven't heard anything out of the ordinary, but that's usually how it goes with her. I won't hear about how it's affecting her this year until I see her again in a few days."

"You're going back to Phoenix?"

Glimmer nodded. "I've been on too many deployments one after the other. You know better than most how hard the Enclave pushes their Battlemages, but even they know to give us time to recharge. I have two weeks of shore leave approved as soon as I arrive." Glimmer had vented more than once to Adora when Taline's training regiments pushed her too hard, so she understood just how unforgiving the Enclave could be.

"Now you're just trying to guilt me into a vacation," Adora said, keeping her voice light.

"Even if I am, I'm not apologizing for it," she said, matching her tone. "You need a break, Adora. Even Catra would say so if she were here right now."

Glimmer watched Adora's expression change, watched her pull up her walls and hide behind them. Every other time she had brought either Catra up to Adora or Adora up to Catra it hadn't ended well, so she chose her words carefully as she navigated the same minefield for the hundredth time.

"You know, a lot has changed since we left," Glimmer said. "You aren't the only one learning to let yourself lean on people a little bit again, asking me to look into the Daiamid for you."

"What do you mean?" Adora asked.

"Catra asked me to look into something for her as well. I didn't find much, but what little I did helped."

"Catra asked you for help?" Adora looked at a complete loss for words.

"Yep," Glimmer said, nodding. "That should clue you in to how much she's changed. It's been a long time, Adora…maybe you should reach out to her? I can pass along a message from you if you don't want to do something live though an ansible. Who knows, maybe having her rip you a new one and tell you to take a vacation will be the kick in the ass you need to actually do it."

The corner of Adora's lips tug up in a smirk and Glimmer nearly leapt off her chair and did a dance right then and there. That was the best reaction she'd seen Adora have toward Catra since ever.

A clamor echoed through the ansible and Adora turned to look somewhere off screen. Her expression turned irritated as the commotion grew louder, now mixing with the muffled sounds of people arguing nearby.

"Can you guys wait until I'm done in here before you start putting things down?" Adora asked, clearly trying to remain professional. "I'm in the middle of a call right now. It's expensive." A muffled, response came through. "No! No just, ugh…just put it down and get out please. I'm almost done."

Another muffled reply, and then the sound of a door hissing shut, cutting the voices off.

"Sorry," Adora said, turning to look back at her. "I'm at the Scorpion Kingdom and Entrapta has had delivery after delivery of all new tech into her lab. None of the delivery people know where to put the new machinery and they've just been stacking them wherever there's space."

Glimmer bit back an amused expression, fully understanding the kind of chaos that could swirl around Entrapta without her even trying. "I'm surprised you didn't try and convince me you were already taking a vacation by going to the Scorpion Kingdom."

Adora laughed. "Trust me, I thought about it. Bright Moon was getting a little too claustrophobic for me, so I agreed to come here and help Entrapta with whatever. She's been going on about a pattern in the security breaches we've had and has been hyper focused on nailing it down."

"Are you actually able to help with that stuff?"

"No, but she tells me it helps when she has someone to bounce ideas off of like a sounding board. Although I'm not sure why she still asked me to come when Hordak is down here with her as well."

"Hordak is away from the fleet?" Glimmer asked, incredulous. Finding out Catra had pushed Taline to bring him back had thrown the princesses for a collective loop about a month after they left, but things had smoothed over considerably over the years. Salas had put him in charge of the Orbital Defense Fleet over the Etheria, and that was that.

"He's uh…apparently on shore leave as well," Adora said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat and refusing to look at her.

A beat passed between them before Glimmer laughed outright. "All this talk about vacations and even Hordak the notorious workaholic has you beat? Wow."

Adora grumbled. "Yeah, I know, okay. I get it." She sighed and leaned forward, resting her head on the table in front of the ansible. "I still can't believe Salas managed to convince us to let him stick around and help, let alone give him command over parts of our fleet."

"Hey, this is the same guy that managed to convince the Enclave High Council to give me communications clearance with Etheria. If he can do that, plus keep the Emperor off your backs while working on the Heart, anything else he manages to accomplish I'm not all that surprised by."

"That's true," Adora said, picking her head up off the table and smoothing her hair.

"Go talk to him, Adora. I'm honestly surprised you came to me first, although I am flattered."

"I will," she said. "I already said I would, didn't I?" She thought for a moment, scrunching her face in thought and reminding Glimmer of simpler times with the lack of conflict in her expression. "Yeah, I definitely said I'd go talk to him. Thanks for the pep talk, Glimmer."

"Any time. How is everyone else doing?"

Adora shrugged. "Nothing much has changed since last month. Sea Hawk and Swift Wind are driving your Aunt nuts in Mystacor, Bow is here tinkering with incorporating more tech into his arrows, and Frosta is visiting as well. Entrapta and the Enclave are still pulling their hair out trying to figure out Light Hope."

"Still?" Glimmer asked, concern dawning on her features. She ignored the fact Adora had slipped Bow's name in there and chose to focus on the larger issue. "It's been months and they haven't made a single step forward?"

Adora shook her head. "No, they haven't, unfortunately. That's part of the reason she's had so many deliveries. She hit a slump, then like a thousand new ideas hit her and she mass ordered a bunch of stuff to try it all."

Glimmer laughed. "That sounds like Entrapta, all right." A notification blipped on the top corner of the screen and she sighed. "My time is almost up. I have to go."

Adora nodded, a sad expression coming across her face. "I know. Sorry for hogging the entire session this time. Especially since Bow didn't…y'know."

"No! No, it's okay," Glimmer said. Maybe it was a bit naïve for her to think Adora wouldn't keep pushing when she didn't react to Bow's name the first time. He hadn't passed a message through Salas for her this month, and with Adora taking up the whole hour on the ansible they had, it meant she wouldn't hear from him until the following month at the earliest. Still, she refused to feel bad for helping her friend when she so clearly needed it.

Adora's eyes narrowed in scrutinizing concern. "Glimmer…"

"I'm happy to help," Glimmer said. "Really. Whatever you need, I'm here. I'm sure he'll make it up to me next month." She put on a smile for Adora's sake and didn't let it fade until it was obvious Adora wouldn't push further. "Think about what I said with Catra," she said. "Even if it's just a recorded message, I'll pass it along for you."

"I'll think about it," Adora said. "Be safe out there."

Glimmer hit the kill switch and the screen connecting her and Adora across lightyears of space flickered off. She sighed and leaned back in the chair. To her great relief, the melancholy that had been threatening to bubble up from under the surface didn't return. There was still an exhaustion she felt in her bones, but that was something she knew how to handle. Deployments always deprived her of much needed sleep, and the nightmares would likely continue for a few days more. She knew what to expect.

Hopefully Taline wouldn't be there to greet her when she disembarked on Phoenix Station in a few days, though. To the untrained eye Glimmer's uniform looked pristine—Enclave patches and Battlemage pin undoubtedly level and immaculate. But the effects of her sleep deprived state bled through into its appearance in subtle ways Taline would no doubt pick up on. Despite having ridden her raw for over a year in training—thus helping her perform under pressure on her deployments and rocketing her to minor infamy within the Enclave, despite technically still being a rookie—her mentor wouldn't take pity on her for nightmares.

Glimmer stretched further still, her joints letting loose a cascade of pops and cracks that felt as amazing as they'd have been off-putting to anyone who might have been sitting there with her. She tapped a few commands into the ansible's control panel, connected it to her list of contacts stored on her wrist PDA, and navigated to Catra's name. She typed a quick message and sent it off before heaving her body off the chair and padding out of the communications chamber, intent on finding something to eat and more caffeine to keep the dreams at bay.