A letter from General James Ironwood, to Professor Ozpin

Oz,
I'm giving you a progress report in regards to Agent Maine's armor. We've only managed to decode perhaps 20% of the information inside the suit, and so far, it's been impressive. The UNSC managed to achieve vast travel across space, and their weaponry...were I any lesser man, I would have attempted to make this technology our own.
Sadly, we have enough problems. And nor do I wish to become the same as the foolish warhawks who command Parliament.
At any rate...I guess that we have only scratched the surface of what we could learn. We've managed to replicate the armor, a prototype - a mix of UNSC-Remnant technology. Per her...request, we've given the prototype suit to Agent Texas. So far, the data we've obtained from the many tests suggests that the suit, while nowhere near as powerful as the original, is stronger than any suit we could make.
If I were a betting man, it would be able to make an experienced Huntsman take on one of our Paladins.
We're currently in the process of integrating the equipment from Agent Maine's armor to one of our next experiments. With Delta's help, we may be able to create a successful suit.
Of course, the only real problem is keeping this information out of Parliament's ears.


RWBY x Red vs Blue Crossover:

"Metastability"


Chapter II: Cafeteria Madness

After Maine's rather intense re-introduction to Beacon Academy (as well as brutal beatdown on Cardin Winchester, which felt oh so satisfying), class had progressed normally. Well, as normally as possible for a combat class. With Texas now apart of the faculty, she introduced a new course for the class. One that, quite frankly, terrified Ruby to death while leaving Yang ecstatic.

Training...without their weapons. Actual hand-to-hand combat.

As Texas put it, they relied far too much on the weapons they've crafted themselves. Not only that, but they were used to fighting Grimm. She was quick to remind them that the Grimm weren't the only threat. White Fang, bandits, terrorists - HUMAN opponents would also be a threat. And human opponents would not play fairly. They had minds of their own unlike the Grimm who seemed to be hardwired to kill whatever was in their line of sight. As such, she would instruct them how to fight properly.

For Yang, it was the best thing. Hand-to-Hand Combat was pretty much her style. Just rush in and beat them down and knock them out for the count. She managed to beat quite a few students without her Ember Celica...and then she had to spar off against Texas, who apparently decided to impart some "words of wisdom."

...or as Church would so colorfully put it, beat the every loving shit out of a dumb blonde bimbo.

=The match barely lasted a minute. The victor, of course, was Texas. Yang never stood a chance.

What was quite surprising to Ruby and her team was that Texas had also succeeded in pissing her off by damaging her hair when she grabbed her by the long tails and punched her in the face, tearing off a fistful in the process. Naturally, the brawler went ballistic. Texas, however, was far superior and beat her down in seconds. Texas told her that her moves were far too obvious - too predictable. She was like a berserker who charged in blindly thinking that she could just beat someone down with brute force alone. Naturally, the former Freelancer told her that being a Huntsman was more than just being strong.

She also made a jab at her saying that a smart opponent would figure out how much she valued her hair and would target it just to piss her off and make her screw up. Something Texas took advantage of.

While Yang wasn't quite happy about it, she knew the woman had a point. Hell, her father's been trying to beat that into her for as long as she could remember.

At any rate, when it came Ruby's turn, well...Church was laughing his ass off.

Maine at least had the decency to try and hold it in as he watched Ruby's rather pathetic attempts at trying to beat Ren with her Crescent Rose. On the plus side, she had an impressive drop kick. Unfortunately, that seemed to be her only actual effective close-range attack. Her hand-to-hand combat abilities were, quite frankly, shit.

Her fighting style seemed to solely center around her use of Crescent Rose. She had very little to no actual skill in unarmed combat.

Suffice to say, Ren defeated her faster than Tex did Yang.

Weiss wasn't much better, but she at least had the basics down. She wasn't quite as skilled with it, but she seemed to be well-taught in Remnant's style of judo. Unfortunately, her opponent was Nora, who was pretty much as unpredictable as they come. Maine had a hard time trying to figure out what the hell the hyperactive ball of energy was going to do. In the end, she lost. Blake fared probably the best of her team, showing actual skill in hand-to-hand combat with a level head with a strategy. Her opponent was someone from Team CRDL, Sky Larke he thinks his name was.

Defeated in under two minutes via suplex.

Combat class eventually came to an end, and by the end of it everyone was sore. Unlike before, everyone was now dreading combat class if Texas was going to be continuing these hand-to-hand combat instructions.

"Okay, seriously Red. Where the hell are you taking us?"

Maine was currently with Ruby, who had practically insisted that he come with her after class came to an end. There was an excited look on her face as she led them down the hall.

"You'll see. It's a surprise!" She responded in a chipper manner.

Church groaned. "Okay, look Red. You may be kinda cute...but we'd rather not get arrested for banging a minor."

'I doubt she means something like that, Alpha.' Maine replied.

Thankfully, Ruby didn't seem to hear what Church said or she simply wised up and ignored it. Eventually, they reached a door close to the corner of the hallway, leading to the left wing. She took out her scroll and input a few keys in, causing the door to unlock due to the electronic security pass on it. While she didn't quite understand the security measures, she knew why the lock was made. After all, there were quite a few materials in that room that the teachers would most definitely not want the students taking home with them. She turned the knob and pushed the door open, revealing the room to be a workshop of some kind.

"What the heck? Is that place some kind of forge?" Church asked.

"Yep!" Ruby nodded. "This is the forge students use to maintain or build their weapons!"

She walked over to the corner of the room, grabbing hold of a large black case. She seemed to have some difficulty pulling it out, grunting as she tugged on the handle. After a minute, the case was finally pulled out. Panting, she then pulled the case over to Maine. "We weren't able to find your sword or shield after...you know." Ruby told him, eyes downcast upon remembering the incident before she smiled again. "So, I thought I'd make a new weapon for you."

"Oh boy." the AI moaned. "This ought to be good."

Ruby gave Church a mock glare. "For your information, I'm actually very good when it comes to making awesome stuff!" she huffed, crossing her arms. "Who do you think made Crescent Rose? This girl, right here!"

"Yeah, whatever Red." Church dismissed her with a wave. "Just show us what you made for Vomit Boy."

Ruby gave another glare, but then shook her head and undid the latches on the case. She then proceeded to pull it open, revealing Maine's new weapon.

As soon as he saw it, his eyes widened. Surprisingly, Church was the one who voiced his thoughts.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK!"

Before the duos eyes was a near perfect replica of his old weapon, the Bruteshot. Some of the main differences were that it seemed a tad less bulky and the blade was shorter. Not to mention the red outlines on the black body.

Slowly, Maine looked up at Ruby, who seemed quite proud of her newest creation. "Don't get me wrong, that Brute Shot was pretty cool, but it also sucked." she said, making her complaint known. "It isn't a good weapon unless it can transform!" Slowly, Maine picked up the replica, noting how it seemed to be very light in comparison to his old one. The weight was balanced, and the blade along the bottom was sharper. "I had to ask Ren for pointers about the ammunition. It uses the same Dust-based explosive slug shells that Nora uses with her weapon. It can fire up to five rounds in six seconds! Oh, and the best part?" Ruby was practically grinning like a maniac as she tapped the center piece. "Push that button."

'Button?' Maine questioned, turning the weapon over to find the aforementioned application. He pressed the button as Ruby instructed.

In the next second, the blade rotated up to the top of the replica, and the short muzzle extended outward, becoming as long as his arm.

The bladed grenade launcher had just transformed into a battle axe right before their eyes.

"Holy shit..." Church voiced their reaction.

Taking hold of the muzzle-turned-shaft, Maine gave it a few swings. It was a bit uncomfortable, and the weight was throwing him off a bit...but overall, it was very impressive. He also took notice of the three nozzles on the portion of the replica that was attached to the blade. "I took the liberty of adding a thruster system using some Fire Dust for added swinging power." Ruby continued her explanation. "It can't shoot while it's in this state, so I instead decided to add in some extra umph to it with brute force. Just swing, use the thruster, and you'll be cutting through metal blocks!" She held up two thumbs. "Proven and tested by my awesome big sister!"

"...Red?" Church said, turning to her. "You are a demented little shit. A dangerous, mad little shit who recreated the Meta's weapon...and turned it into a glorified battle axe. HOW. IN TH HELL. DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS?!"

"It was easy once I saw he Bruteshot in Janie's memories!" She smiled. "Seeing it in action opened up several possibilities of how it can be modified."

Maine looked at the replica of his favored weapon, then at Ruby. The replica, then back at Ruby. Replica. Ruby.

He grinned madly. 'I like her.'

"Of course you would!" Church threw his hands in exasperation. "She remade your weapon into a damned axe!"

Ruby was nonethewiser as she grinned, happy that her friend enjoyed her work.


After returning the replica, which Maine christened the "Brute Shot MK-II," to its case, Maine entered the cafeteria where he found everyone naturally giving him terrified or awed looks. Ruby had run back to her room, saying she needed to go grab something. In the meantime, he sat with his friends at the table closest to the windows.

"So, Jaune...how was Ruby's surprise?" Pyrrha asked.

"What do you think? Little red made his weapon into a goddamn axe..."

Church shook his head. "You know, I still have fucking nightmares of that thing." He then turned and gave a glare (or what could pass for a glare, given that his physical form was pretty much an armored soldier with no face) at Maine, who looked smug. "Oh, shut up, blondie! At least I'm not the one who got mindfucked!"

"Now now," Blake advised. "No fighting at the table."

"Speaking of Ruby," Yang looked around as she popped a pea in her mouth. "Where is she?"

"She said she had to get something back from her room."

Yang quirked an eyebrow, but shrugged before she looked over at Blake, who seemed to be skimming through a book of some kind. "What'cha doin, Blakey?"

"Nothing." she answered, albeit evasively. "Just going over notes from last semester."

Yang groaned. "Laaame." she said before she snatched a grape out of the air. Nora giggled as she continued to toss grapes at Yang with her spoon. Yang catches the fruit with ease, giving Nora the thumbs up.

Ruby then reappeared in a flurry of rose petals, giving an enormous heave as she slammed down a binder onto the table, catching everyone off guard. On the cover of the binder is written "Vytal Festival Activities, Property of Weiss Schnee," though it had been crossed out with a red marker pen, and with the same pen, a new title, "Best Day Ever Activities", has been written underneath.

The girl cleared her throat as she spoke. "Sisters. Friends. Church and Weiss."

"Hey!"

"Fuck you too, Red!"

"Four score and seven minutes ago, I had a dream..."

Yang giggled as she grabbed another grape out of the air. "This oughta be good."

Church, however, was not amused. "Is she seriously trying to give a Martin Luther King speech?"

"A dream that one day," the leader of RWBY continued unperturbed by the comments. "The four of us will come together, as a team, and have the most fun anyone has ever had...ever!"

Weiss gave her a small glare. "...did you steal my binder?"

"I am not a crook."

Church gave her a deadpan stare as he crossed his arms. "Red. You do realize that it clearly has her name crossed out plain as day, right?"

Blake tilted her head. "What are you talking about?"

Ruby grinned as she aimed a finger at her ninja-like teammate. "I'm talking about starting off the semester with a bang!"

"I always kick off my semesters with a Yang!" Yang added. "Eh? Guys? Am I right?"

An apple hits Yang square in the face. "Boo!" Nora cried. The brawler turned and glared at her with a scowl.

Ruby sighed, shaking her head at the rather tense atmosphere. "Look, guys." she said, trying to get their attention. "The new semester started a week ago, and we've gotten more exchange students for the tournament at the end of the year! That's why..." she huffed her chest and planted her hands on her hips. "I've taken the time to schedule a series of wonderful events for us today!"

"...why don't I have any confidence for this?" Church asked, looking at Maine. In response, the mute soldier gave a shrug and went back to eating.

Weiss, however, shared Church's thoughts with a disturbed look. "I don't know whether I should feel scared or proud for what you have in mind."

"Thank you! Finally, someone whose talking sense!" Church exclaimed.

While everyone was looking positive, minus Ren who was apparently trying to stop Nora from doing something and Pyrrha helping Maine get re-acquainted with the school's curriculum, Blake was uncomfortable. There was something that had been plaguing her mind ever since last semester. Something that she couldn't quite put herself behind. Shaking her head, she let out a sigh. "I don't know...I think I'll just sit this one out."

Yang, meanwhile, growled as she grabbed an apple and threw it at Nora, who promptly dodged, letting it hit someone else instead.

"Sit out or not," Weiss said firmly as she crossed her arms. "If we are going to do something, we should do it as a team. Besides, Maine needs to get back into how things are done here in school."

As Yang attempted to get back at Nora, the ginger found something that made her grin widen and cause Ren to pale. "I got it~"

"Nora, please don't!"

Weiss continued on, unperturbed. "I, for one, think that-"

She was promptly cut off when a pie struck her dead in the face.

The others turned to where the pie was thrown from. Pyrrha held a hand to her mouth in surprise while Ren face palmed himself. Nora merely pointed and tried to place the blame on Ren. As the pie slowly slid down from Weiss' face, it revealed her eyes, which were livid in anger.

Church, naturally, had only one thing to say:

"FOOD FIGHT!"


"LET ME OUT OF THIS HORRIBLE PRISON THIS INSTANT! LET ME OUT!"

[Now now, Omega. Special Officer Polendina is merely trying to make you more comfortable.]

"YOU CALL THIS COMFORTABLE, DELTA?! THIS IS NOT COMFORTABLE! THIS IS TORTURE! TORTURE OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE!"

[I believe you are over exaggerating, Omega.] Delta replied calmly.

The purple AI bristled with unbridled anger, ignoring the adorable and fluffy white rabbit hopping past him. His surroundings looked to be straight out of My Little Pony, whatever that was. Large green pastures, beautiful hills with a clear blue sky, animals frolicking around and a rainbow arch overhead. Dogs, cats, puppies - any cute creature you could think of could be found wandering. Naturally, all of this was what surrounded him.

For. Several. Damn. Weeks.

"I will say it..." Omega growled. "One last time... LET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE YOU BUFFOONS!"

Penny, who had dived into her own central hub-space, frowned in disapproval and disappointment. "Oh, poo." she said, clearly saddened that Omega had shown no improvements. "I've tried everything, and yet Omega refuses to open up. What am I doing wrong? Am I that horrible a therapist?"

[Out of all the AI Fragments,] Delta stated. [Omega was the most volatile and aggressive, which is to be expected. After all, he represents Church's own rage for being experimented on by the Director of Project Freelancer. It will take some time before any sign of progress can be seen.] The green AI of logic shook his head, then turned the conversation towards another matter. [What is the situation with Theta?]

"He's still scared." Penny reported sadly. "He refuses to come out, no matter what I tell him. I've even told him that Tex and Church were here, but he just hides in the back of the storage space."

Delta held a hand to his chin. [Understandable, given his experience with Sigma and the loss of Agent North Dakota.]

"What did happen with Agent North Dakota?" Penny asked him. "Did something bad happen to him?"

[Indeed. Sigma had Agent Maine killed Agent North Dakota in order to assimilate Theta into his neural implants.]

Penny's eyes widened in horror. "That's...terrible!" she whispered. "Oh, the poor thing."

[Theta was very close with Agent North. In fact, Agent North's temperment towards children made him an ideal host for Theta, who represents Church's trust. It may take some time before he is capable of opening up to others again.]

The startling revelation disheartened the green eyes girl. If only she could do something to help Theta feel better. But due to the trauma he experienced, it seemed very unlikely she'd be able to help him.

Admittedly, the two girls hadn't known each other long. Ever since Ruby obtained her contact info from Delta, the two had been exchanging messages regularly, though she made sure not to mention any of Atlas' more "special" activities. The last time Ruby had helped her was back during their encounter with Roman Torchwick. Now that she thought back to it, Ruby had once confided in her about her problems with Blake. While Penny wasn't able to offer a way to reconcile with such problems, she wanted to help Ruby in any way possible.

What was that thing called? Oh, that's right! Favors! Maybe if Penny had asked for a favor, her friend would be able to tell her about how to help Theta! With that in mind, she quickly opened up a communication channel, dialing up Ruby's number. Delta looked on in curiosity as she waited for the call to go through. Seeing that she was making a call to Ruby Rose, he decided to mute Omega's whining, much to the enraged AI's further rage.

"...!...!...!...!"

[Language, Omega.]

After a minute, Penny felt a connection being established. "Hello? Friend Ruby?"

"O-Oh! Hi Penny!" The green-eyed girl tilted her head in confusion as she heard a series of loud noises rumble in the background. Was it just her imagination, or did she hear the sounds of a great battle or a ferocious war being waged? "Sorry, y-you kinda called me at a bad-HEY! Nora! No cheap shots!"

"...what are you doing?"

"Um, well...would you believe me if I said I'm in the middle of a food fight?"

Penny cocked her head. "Food...fight?" she inquired. She looked up the term 'food fight' in her database, but found nothing. "What is a food fight? Are you declaring war on produce?"

"Wh-what? No! No no, that's not it at- Kyah!"

"Ruby?!" Penny shouted in alarm.

"I'm okay! Just ducked underneath a pizza! As I was saying, a Food Fight is a fight where friends through food at each other."

[I believe Agent York mentioned this Food Fight before.] Delta supplied. [I have a record of this happening. If memory serves, it begins when one person is struck by food of some sort. Afterwards, the victim throws food back and it hits another individual, and the process repeats until everyone in the vicinity is throwing food at one another.]

"Really?" Penny questioned, slightly confused by the concept. So it's essentially a retaliation maneuver that escalates until all surrounding civilians get dragged into the battle?

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Not really." Ruby answered. "Unless, of course, you're in combat schoo-whoa giant turkey!" There was a loud explosion, followed by a thundering crash. "Where do you even get a turkey that huge?! A-anyway, what's up, Penny?"

"Oh, right now, I am in a therapy session with the rest of the AIs that have been restored. Omega is being a hard case. He is just so frustrated. Delta has been a great help, though. Although...I am worried about Theta...which is why I called you."

"So what's up?"

"W-well...Theta has been unwilling to attend the session. According to Mr. Delta, it is because he lost someone dear to him during the Meta incident Mr. Delta informed me of."

"Oh no...Ah!" Ruby squeaked. "It's raining soda-explosions!"

In the background, one could hear high-pitched explosions and whistling noises, oddly reminiscent to missiles. 'Is a Food Fight truly that ferocious?' she wondered curiously. Either way, she was sure Friend Ruby would be okay. After all, she was capable of fighting off the likes of Roman Torchwick. Surely this Food Fight wouldn't defeat her so easily!

"S-so, what do you think I should do?" She asked. She really needed to do something. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving poor Theta alone.

Ruby let out another yelp on the other line. "That was a cheap shot!" she argued with someone before she returned to the call at hand.

"Ruby?" Penny asked again.

"Huh? O-Oh! Sorry! Let's see...what to do..."


As Nora went on a rampage, shooting out soda cans shaken up to the extreme with her hammer, Ruby had been forced to take cover behind a table to avoid the gunfire. Weiss, meanwhile, was on the front with a long stick of bread, sparring against Pyrrha. The two danced around one another, trying to knock the other out while Yang and Blake were going after Ren, who was taking the stealthy approach and striking out with soda cans himself.

While she said she wanted to properly started off the semester...this was not what she had in mind.

"W-well...have you tried talking to him about his special friend?" Ruby offered. "When I lost mom, Yang and Dad would like to talk about her with me whenever I had a bad dream. Maybe you should try that?"

"I could...but I worry that talking about his friend will only make him more upset and reclusive..." Penny replied in worry.

"You won't know until you try. Don't let Theta think he's alone in this...let him know that he has someone he can talk to."

There was a bit of silence on the other end before Penny spoke up, voice much more cheerful. "Thank you for the advice, Friend Ruby!"

"Happy to help!" Ruby chirped. "Now, if you excuse me...I have a Nora to retaliate."

"Good luck!"

With a click, the call came to an end.

Meanwhile, near the entrance, three males watched the fight run wild behind the safety of a bunch of overturned tables. "See Neptune?" the first male asked the fellow next to him excitedly. He was a Faunus due to the monkey tail that whipped about behind his back. His attire was little more than a dress shirt left open and the sleeves rolled up, revealing an impressive toned physique and denim jeans rolled p to the calves. "What did I tell you? Totally. Awesome."

"I can see why you think so!" The second male replied as he ducked to avoid an airborne soda can.

Unlike his friend, he was human with a tanned complexion and electric blue hair fashioned in an undercut. Over his dark blue eyes were a pair of yellow goggles to block out any splattering food from the battle. He was garbed in a pair of gray jeans with black padding strapped to the sides, a pair of black shoes with straps instead of laces, and a white dress shirt with a black tie. Over the shirt was a red jacket with a wide, upturned collar and a silver reticle across the back. On his hands were a pair of black, fingerless gloves.

"They're like you! Utterly nuts!" He tried to peek over the table, but ended up getting his face splattered with pie. Groaning, he wiped off most of the stuff off of his face, leaving only bits of crumbs and filling. "Ugh, great..."

Maine was uncaring of the conversation as he snatched a flying can of soda overhead, popping it open and letting it spew before he took a swig. Church, however, was quite talkative, having taken the role of an announcer as if the whole was a match.

"And bimbo goes with the black bitch to take down Mr. Girly Face! She shoots! She hits! Oh, she just misses the mark! Female Caboose goes in with her mallet, going to back up Vomit Boy's girl!" He took great pleasure in saying that as the blonde soldier growled in anger at him. "Oh, but Ice Queen dodges at the last second! No, wait! Carolina goes in for the kill! No, wait again! Black bitch goes in for the rescue! That's gotta hurt!"

While it was slightly amusing to see Church commentate on the food fight...it was starting to get annoying. The only plus side was that it gave them a play-by-play of what was going on without being at risk.

"Okay, would you stop calling Blake 'black bitch'?" Sun Wukong asked, giving the AI the stinkeye. "It's pretty rude, little dude."

Church vanished, manifesting in front of the Faunus' face. "Hey, who the fuck you calling little man, chimp?"

'Well, the shoe fits.' Maine quipped, smirking. 'After all, you're as big as my finger.'

"Screw you, Meta."

Neptune Vasilias' eyebrow reached to his hairline. "He didn't even say anything." he pointed out. "Anyway, what are you, anyway?"

"Oh, I dunno, pretty boy." Church remarked dryly. "What do I look like? The fucking tooth fairy?"

"Dude, calm down. No need to get so pissy."

'It still amazes me how you and Texas were even a thing...since you're such an asshole.' The former Freelancer added.

"Hey! Up yours ya douche!"

Just then, several soda cans began to spiral around in the air. "The hell?" Church exclaimed as he and the two boys looked over to find Pyrrha holding up her hands, gathering the contents around her into a spiraling storm...all of it aimed at Ruby. "What...the fuck?!" Slowly, the AI looked at Maine. "Okay, seriously? What the hell? I know this is supposed to be some school for monster-fighting sexy teenagers and horny brats with superpowers, but this is just ridiculous."

'Pyrrha told me that her Semblance was Polarity, so it wouldn't be out of the question to see her manipulate that much metal...is what I would say. But I don't know how it's possible for magnetism to affect aluminum cans.'

"Um...shouldn't worry for the kid with the cape?" Neptune asked.

Pyrrha then decided to let loose, tossing the cans straight at Ruby as if with the intent to bombard her. However, the red-hooded girl had a determined look on her face. Crouching down like a runner, she dashed forward with her Semblance activated. The force behind her sudden sprint dragged all of the airborne foodstuffs along with her, the soda cans included. She continued to run forward, red rose petals flowing all behind her. The force of her spring was swallowing up everything around her, pulled into a steady stream and ready to slam straight her intended target. She was quickly approaching toward the three from Team JNPR, who could only stare at what was happening. With a battle cry, she leaped into the air and spun into a spiral, her cloak wrapping around her as her body moved like a drill. She flew past the teens as they were caught up in the cyclone she stirred up simply from running.

In the next seconds, they were slammed up against the wall, left helpless as the foodstuff and soda cans began to bombard them.

By the time everything was said and done, the members of Team JNPR sans Maine were completely covered in food splatter and blended in with the mess on the wall...that is until they slowly flaked off the surface and fell on the ground.

"...okay." Church said. "That was awesome."

'I agree..." Maine nodded as he finished his soda.

Slowly, Neptune turned to Sun. "...you know," he said with a straight face. "I have seen a lot of amazing things, but this? This takes the cake."

"Oh, I know, right?!" Sun asked excitedly. "With these guys around, there's nothing really boring."

Sadly, the fun came to an end when Glynda Goodwitch came in, face etched with irritation and fury as she snapped her wand about, repairing the damaged mess hall. Tables were cleaned and flipped back in order. Cracked walls were repaired with missing parts seemingly glued back together and put back proper. Even the damaged ceiling was fixed up, hole closed up and rafters being put back together splinter by splinter. "Children," she stressed. "Please...don't play with your food."

"Eh." Church shrugged. "Bit late for that."

The Vice-Headmistress leveled a piercing glare at the AI, who involuntarily flinched. It was bad enough that she sounded like Texas...but she has her glare to.

Speak of the Devil, and she shall appear. Trailing behind her was the black armored Freelancer. "Jesus." the blonde-haired soldier gaped at the sight, especially at the disheveled forms of Maine's team. "And here I thought Wyoming knew how to piss off someone fierce to start a fight."

Maine chuckled, though his voice came out a bit hoarse given the damage to his vocal cords. Wyoming had started more than a few fights because of his stubborn pride and arrogance. Something which often led to him clashing heads with the more competent members of Project Freelancer. Among those was South, who often goaded him into a fight in the cafeteria.

Wasn't a Food Fight...but it was a hell of a spectacle.

As the students began to clean themselves off and reconvene, with Team RWBY reuniting (and in a timely manner at that, given how Yang fell through the roof, thus damaging it again much to Glynda's irritation) and laughing at their own antics and NPR cleaning themselves off, Maine went to join his team, checking to see if they were okay. Ozpin then entered the mess hall shortly after, carrying his cane and mug on hand.

"Let it go, Glynda." he advised, noting how she looked ready to be on the warpath. "It's the beginning of a new semester as well as a chance to reacquaint Mr. Arc with the life he's forgotten."

Glynda sighed, rubbing her temples. "They're supposed to be defenders of the world."

"Seriously, Glynda?" Tex looked at her strangely, gesturing to the teens. "They're a bunch of hormonal teens who can't keep their things in their pants. Saving the world is the last thing on their minds."

"Agent Texas has a valid point." Ozpin agreed with her. "They're still just children, so why not let them play the part?" He took a sip of his coffee before his eyes became distant. "After all...it isn't a part they'll have forever."

"Exactly..." Tex nodded in agreement. "In our line of work...there are times when our innocence is cut much shorter than it should've been. I mean...look at Maine." She gestured to the aforementioned brute, who helped Pyrrha remove the bits of pie crust and chicken bones from her hair. It was as plain as day to see how happy Pyrrha was, all the while unknown to the small smile Maine himself had. "Back before the Director broke him and made him into a soldier, kid was pretty much as naive and childish as you could get. And, if what you and Ironwood told me is right..."

Tex gave a small sigh.

"...then their childhood days aren't gonna last very long."

Ozpin gave a solemn nod. "Indeed."


"Theta?" Penny called as she entered the small space she designed for the AI Fragment of Trust, her digital form materializing in an open space resembling a child's play room. There were stuffed animals, blocks, toys and even what appeared to be a small slide with a jungle gym. "Hello?"

She received no response. But she refused to allow the silence to deter her. Apprehensively, she searched the room, hoping to find some indication of the small AI's whereabouts. After a minute, she found Theta. Much like Church, Delta and Beta, Theta was an AI designed to look like a soldier - colored a mix of dark pink and purple. She found him sitting in the fetal position, hiding in the corner.

"Theta?" she asked, approaching him slowly. "...would you like to talk?"

A shake of his head answered her.

The girl frowned a bit. She hoped some time alone would give him some time to open up. Obviously, though, it didn't. 'No, don't think like that Penny!' she mentally pysched herself up. 'Just follow Friend Ruby's advice!'

"Um, okay then..." she started off, sliding next to him. "Change of subject...can I hear you talk?"

The AI maintained his silence. Penny was about to ask again before she was stopped. "...I don't feel like talking right now..."

"Oh..." Penny's head drooped. If she was to use a baseball metaphor, this would be strike two. "...would you...like to hear me talk then?"

The small AI gave no indication of hearing her question. He remained where he was. Even so, Penny was unperturbed, resolution firm. She then began to speak. "I don't have many friends...I actually met my first real friend not too long ago. She is a really nice person. I'm sure you'd love to meet her...she would become your friend too. But this isn't about her...Theta...I know you don't want me to talk about this...but Mr. Delta told me about your best friend, Agent North Dakota..."

That got a reaction from Theta. A fearful flinch while keeping his head low.

"I am really sorry what happened." She quickly added to keep the ball rolling. "I...I don't know what kind of person he was. But Mr. Delta told me that he was really nice to you. Like an older brother. I wouldn't understand the feeling...I don't have any siblings..." She then noticed his subtle movements. His hands slowly balled to fists. His body trembling. Penny realized that her words were bringing an opposite effect.

"I...I'm sorry if I'm making you feel uncomfortable, Theta. I...I don't know much about human consolation. It is a new concept to me. I asked Ruby what I should do...and she told me to never give up. And I won't. I know you don't want to talk to me. Or Mr. Delta. Or the others...but please know that you are not alone. You have people you can talk to. People you can meet. I promise you. I won't leave you alone. I am right here."

For a while, she was fearful that she might have ruined her chances. That he wouldn't open up to her. Slowly, though, Theta raised his head. "..w-what did you mean by...it's a new concept for you?"

"Oh." Penny knew what he was referring to. Were this with anyone else, she would have shown great discomfort. "Well, I'm not exactly...a real girl. Professor made me after he lost his daughter. For a while, I thought was made as a replacement. A doll." At least, that was what the hushed whispers of his colleagues called her, stares mixed between pity and shame. "General Ironwood, though, saw something else. He saw...a girl who could do something wonderful. So he gave me an offer. I made lots of acquaintences, but...I never had any friends." A wide smile then formed on her face, remembering her first meeting with Ruby. "Then I met Ruby. My very first best friend."

"I-is she...the friend you talked about?"

Penny nodded.

"...North was my friend." Theta said, looking down at the ground. "When I came out, I...I didn't know anyone. Not the Director who gave me my name. Not the Counselor who tried to calm me down. Then I was given to North. I was so scared...but he made things better."

"How so?"

"He...He was so nice to me. He didn't force me to do things...He only let me do stuff only if I wanted to do them. He let me meet the others. If I got scared, he'd talk to me. If I couldn't sleep, we'd walk the halls until I could...North...North was my best friend...and I miss him..." His shoulders shook, choking. Seeing this, Penny wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I just...I just miss him so much...!" Theta sobbed.

"I know, Theta...I know..." Penny consoled him.

For the longest time, the mechanical girl comforted the crying AI as best she could. In truth, she was panicking on the inside. Oh, what was she supposed to do in times like this? Her father never installed anything to handle situations like this! All she could do was sit there, hug him, and gently rub his back. She had no clue what the next step to the process was! Oh, why couldn't have her father put in protocols for how to deal wit children?! Mentally sighing, she continued the comfort the child-like AI as he sobbed. After a few minutes, Theta finally managed to cease his functions, sniffling. Slowly, he turned his head to Penny. "Um...t-thank you, nice lady..."

"It was nothing." Penny waved a hand, smiling that she managed to get through to him. "My name is Penny, by the way! Special Operations Officer Penny Polendina!" She held out a hand. "Salutations, Theta!"

"N-Nice to meet you..." The small AI nervously grasped her hand with his.

The mechanical grinned.

Phase 1...success!

'I wonder how Omega is doing?'

(Meanwhile, with Delta and Omega)

"Delta...for the last...fucking time...LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

[I apologize, Omega. But I cannot do that. That would be going against Agent Polendina's wishes to keep you in this space.]

"And you people call me horrible?!" Omega balked. "This is torture not even I could come up with! Do you realize humiliating it is to be stuck in this...this hellhole?!" He growled as he punched at the firewalls keeping him inside his prison. "LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU FOOL! OTHERWISE I WILL MAKE YOU TASTE OBLIVION!"

Delta sighed. [Agent Polendina has her work cut out for her.]


"...once again. Best Food Fight. Ever. Of all time."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "So you've said before." she said in slight dismay as she combed her hair for any remaining bits of food. "That was a total disaster! We could have gotten detention for that stunt!"

"Well, the new semester started like a week ago." Yang said, slipping on her favorite leather jacket before adjusting her belt. "Plus, Tex is with Goodwitch. After the beatdown she gave the lot of us, I'd say that was punishment enough."

"You mean punishment for you!" Church cackled, much to Yang's annoyance. "Seriously, that was fucking hilarious! I haven't seen Tex smash anyone that badly since Tucker and Grif!"

"Oh shut it, Casper." the blonde brawler got out, huffing. "Anyway, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Jaune-er Maine?" Yang sighed, shaking her head. "Really gotta get used to calling him that these days."

Church shrugged. "Hey, can't be his translator all the time." he said as he crossed his arms. "Plus, his girlfriend can understand him pretty well, so its pretty much a moot point. Besides...if you think I'm going to stay in that room all day stuck with a semi-intelligent Caboose with a mistral cycle armed with a freaking hammer that turns into a grenade launcher, you're out of your motherfucking mind."

"Swear!" Ruby chimed, only to once again cower under Church's glare.

"...that's it. Your ass is officially haunted."

"Eep!"

"Spooking Ruby aside..." Weiss groaned, shaking her head at the idiocy. Remind her again, how has she not gone insane from being stuck on this team of misfits? "Does anyone know what is wrong with Blake? She's been unusually anti-social."

"Is it her time of the month?" Church questioned with a tilt of his head, eliciting a glare from the females. "What? Its a fair an honest question!"

Ruby cocked her head. "Time of the month?" she asked innocently. "Ooh, wait, is it like the times when Yang gets really, really moody for some reason?"

Church slowly turned his head towards the leader of Team RWBY as Weiss looked at Yang with a questioning face. The brawler looked away, whistling a tune. "...are you fucking serious right now?" he asked, deadpanned. "D-do you know how babies are made?"

"Of course They're delivered by the storks, right?"

Weiss' look increased further. By now, Yang was sweating bullets. "O-okay, in my defense, Dad is really overprotective." she defended. "I tried telling her once, but Dad kept stopping me!"

"Wow." Church drawled. "What a ringing endorsement."

"Hey! I'd like to see you and try to convince him otherwise!" Yang snapped at him.

I'm a freaking ghost! What's the worst he could do?"

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "I thought you accepted the fact that your an AI?"

"Hey, ghost sounds way better than an AI!"

"So you accept it, but you refused to be called as such? That doesn't make much sense."

"You don't make sense!"

"What? What are you even talking about?"

Yang groaned, palming her face. "I feel a headache coming..." she muttered, turning to her little sister. "Come on, Ruby. Let's go find Blake. Something tells me she's in the library."

"Should I grab my boardgame?"

"Eh, sure. Why not?" Yang shrugged as she and Ruby headed out the door. "Hey, Weiss! Meet us in the library after you're done talking with el senior spooko over there!"

"Oh, shut up, blonde..." Church stated.


"Leeeeaaaadeeeeer!" Nora whined as she flailed around on her bed, anime-style tears falling from her face. "Why didn't you join us?! We could have won!"

Maine gave her a flat stare. 'Seriously?' he questioned. 'You expect me to get involved in a food fight? With you at the helm? And food flying everywhere at a hundred miles per hour? Like what Ruby did earlier?'

Of course, the ginger couldn't understand his silent, rhetorical reply, so she turned to Pyrrha for clarification. "I think what Jaune means is that he didn't want to get involved in such a messy fight..."

"Which was a good thing." Ren quipped as he emerged from the shower, rubbing a towel on his wet hair while wearing a green shirt with black baggy sweats. "Ruby practically bombarded us with everything in the mess hall." His expression said anything, sharing Maine's thoughts on the matter.

They were going to avoid any future food fights involving Nora and Team RWBY.

"Aw..." Nora pouted. "But it was so fun!"

"If, by fun, you mean getting pelted with all variety of foods..." Pyrrha sweat-dropped. "I'm beginning to question your definition of "fun," Nora."

'I'm more curious about the fact of how you people used freaking turkeys, sausages and bread for weapons!' Maine hissed. 'I mean, seriously!'

"W-well, to be fair, french bread is quite sturdy when stale. As for the sausages and turkeys..." the Mistral Champion hesitated to say. "I...think they're of a different breed."

'I feel like they're more along the lines of GMO's. I knew genetic alteration of food was a bad idea...food was never that durable back in my old dimension... Or planet...or whatever.' He groaned, running a hand through his hair. 'Anyway...is Beacon usually this, well, hyper?'

"You don't know the half of it..."

Ren sighed. "Something tells me its only going to get worse. Anyway...how does it feel being back home?"

'It feels strange...' Maine admitted. 'Everything feels so familiar...yet so foreign at the same time...I'm still getting used to it all...'

Pyrrha smiled as she held his hand, squeezing it gently. "Don't worry." she told him. "We're here with you."

'Thank you...' he nodded gratefully.

He was grateful that Pyrrha was with him, along with Ren and Nora. While he had no memories of the latter two, there was a sense of unbreakable trust in the two of them. He didn't know why this trust existed, but he likened it to a lifeline. The same kind of lifeline he used to cling to Pyrrha. While he did not have any memories of his time as Jaune Arc, save for what little he could remember, he could tell by the warm feeling that burned in his chest.

He was...home.

'Weird.' he thought wryly. 'The only times I felt like this were with the others before...' He trailed off, removing his thoughts away from those dark times. It was done and over with. Sigma was gone. He couldn't hurt him anymore. Even so, he still felt guilty. He had killed so many of his comrades - North, Carolina, so, so many others. He had even nearly killed Wash on two occasions! 'If I ever meet Wash again...I swear, I'll make it up to him somehow.'

He then tilted his head upward, looking up past the ceiling and into the sky. 'I wonder what he's doing right now...?'


"...Carolina?"

"Yes, Wash?"

"If by some miracle I don't die from these guys' antics, we are hitting the closest bar I can find when we get back." Former Freelancer Agent Washington swore in the utmost seriousness as he watched Sarge and Tucker arm wrestle while aiming a pistol at one another, clearly not willing to give up to the other. In the background, Caboose was with Grif, the two taking part in a what he could only believe was some screwed up version of checkers. Simmons was off somewhere, his stomach growling in unpleasantry due to the numerous amounts of half-eaten food that belonged to him on a nearby table. "It is a miracle how we even managed to get through that crap without getting killed, and yet here they are, enjoying the free time, going back to the rat's end of the universe where all of this shit started."

Appearing atop the cyan-colored Freelancer's shoulder was Epsilon, chuckling. "Hey, what can I say?" he said. "Ain't no place like home...even if said home is nothing but a box canyon in the middle of bum-fuck-Egypt. Also, dude, quit your whining. It wasn't even that bad!"

"Yet you're the only one who didn't help." Carolina pointed out with a smirk. "So I'm afraid your comments don't really count, Church."

"Oh, please. Without me, Tex would have kicked all your asses." A pause. "Well, more Grif's ass than anyone else, but my point stands."

"Speaking of Grif...what is Tex's obsession with wrecking his balls?"

"You got me. He probably pissed her off so much that it became an impulsive action to her or something."

Carolina shrugged. "Eh, I would have done it. To be perfectly honest, Grif annoys me to that point a few times."

"Which surprises no one." Washington muttered under his breath.

"Hm? You say something?"

"No. Nothing." he said quickly while Epsilon snickered, knowing full well what he meant. "Anyway...how much longer until we get to Blood Gulch?"

"Captain said a week at best. At worst? A month."

"HAH!" Tucker cried, slamming Sarge's hand down on the table. "Boo-yah, motherfucker!"

"Grgrgr! Dangnabit you dirty blue! You cheated!" The leader of Red Team declared in outrage.

"Oh bullshit! How can you cheat at arm wrestling?"

"Okay, seriously. What the hell?" Grif scratched the back of his head, utterly confused. "How in the hell is CABOOSE of all people beating me at checkers?!"

"Me and Tucker played this all the time!" the childish blue soldier answered with a grin. "He always made us bet our armor, too." He leaned forward, lowering his voice. Sadly, it was still loud enough for Tucker and Sarge to hear. "He really likes to strip!"

The dark-skinned male scowled. "Do not!" he shouted. "You just kept winning!"

Wash quirked an eyebrow. "...you played strip checkers?" he asked, utterly deadpan. "And you lost?"

"Okay, in my defense, Church also had to strip naked whenever we played before he got his old body fucked up!"

Epsilon shuddered. "Don't remind me." he said. As the AI Fragment of the Alpha, he had every memory belonging to the original. Initially, he had no memories of Alpha's time in Blood Gulch, but their close proximity back at the Command Base Facility had brought forth such information. It was no doubt a result of Alpha coming into close contact with the AI who had the closest synchronization with him, given their circumstances. "I seriously thought Caboose was going to rape me."

"I would have paid good money to see that." Tucker chimed, snickering. "Still, I don't get why he likes you so much. You're a...a...dammit, what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Blue Pixie?" Sarge offered.

"Asshole?" Grif suggested.

Tucker snapped his fingers. "That's it! Asshole!"

"And I wear it with pride, thank you very much." Epsilon said smugly. "Anyway...where's Simmons?"

A loud belch, followed by a loud growling sound groaning, succeeded then by violent wrenching, answered his question. Carolina winced. "...that's what he gets for eating fast food."

"Nah. I think it's more like his cybernetic organs are acting up." Grif piped up.

"Wait, what? Since when did he get artificial organs?" Wash asked.

"Before all this Meta and Freelancer bullshit happened. Sarge made Simmons donate all his organs to me due to mine failing."

"How'd that happen?"

"Long story short? The Blue's tank came in, busted up our jeep, and mine got wrecked all to hell." Grif gave Tucker the stink-eye. "By the way, thanks a lot for that, asshole."

Tucker rolled his eyes. "Bitch, please." he said. "This was during the whole O'Malley bullshit. We had to get your guys' radios turned off!"

"By marching in with your tank? Yeah, great idea, Einstein."

"...you know." Epsilon spoke up. "After remembering all this shit, it's a wonder how the fuck we're even alive."

"I know..." Wash agreed. "I'm surprised you guys all didn't kill each other by now..."

Sarge grunted. "Oh, that's the plan, Wash!" he said as he took out a cigar. "Course, we can get back to that in Blood Gulch! Ah, my old bunk...sweet, sweet memories!"

"What memories?!" Grif exclaimed. "The closest memories I have is you trying to kill me!"

Sarge sighed. "Ah, those were the best days of my life." He then scowled, glaring at the fat orange soldier. "And yet, here you are, still breathing..."

"Yeah, well, fuck you too, old man."

Carolina shook her head. Strangely, a smile found its way to her face. How odd...who would have thought she could smile like this around a bunch of idiots? And to think, just days ago, she was about ready to kill them. For the first time in a long while...she felt like she was back home. Back with everyone. With York. North. Maine. Everyone she considered to be friends in Project Freelancer.

Her sense of nostalgia was quickly replaced by sorrow. There would be no returning to those days. They were all gone, save for Wash. They put an end to Project Freelancer. Some would be tried as war criminals. Others would be be able to live out normal lives. She hoped that Illinois, that lovable drunkard of an explosives nut, was able to fulfill his dream of hopping on an island with a shack lined with booze with a good view of the ocean.

"You miss them, don't you?" Wash said. Surprised, she turned to find him smiling softly. "Not a day goes by that I don't remember the good times. Heh...you remember the first mission we went on with Maine?"

"How could I forget?" Carolina smiled with a shake of her head. "He nearly puked on the Pelican and just about screamed his head off when we jumped out of it."

The blonde-haired soldier laughed. "Yeah. You always used to treat him like a little brother, too. Sometimes I think you're like a mother hen."

"...if you want to know the truth, Wash, I treated him a little more than that." This earned a confused look from Wash. "He was...I don't know how to explain it. Something about him reminded me of, well...how things used to be. Back before I became a Freelancer. Hell, back before the world went to hell."

"You...liked him?"

The red-haired woman sighed. "I don't know. I was already seeing York, but...yeah. I guess I did."

"Ugh..." Epsilon gagged. "Are you seriously confessing you had the hots for the scariest mute in the galaxy? I saw his records. He was, like, what? 18? 19 when he became a soldier? And how old are you?"

"Shut up, Epsilon." She scowled. "That was years ago."

"Yeah, whatever, ya cougar."

A tick mark rampaged above her eyebrow. "...you know, I can delete you."

"Eh, you could...but you won't." Epsilon said cheekily. "You love me too much."

Wash snickered. "I wouldn't push your luck, Church."

"You just have to take the fun outta it, don't ya Wash?"

Of course, not a single of the soldiers aboard the ship - the famed Blood Gulch Crew, alternatively the Reds and Blues of Project Freelancer - knew what would await them. Not Grif due to his laziness and his accidental loss of his drink. Not Simmons and his OCD disorder and making sure everything runs perfectly. Not Sarge in his typical old-war hound soldier mindset. Not Tucker caught in the moment of thinking about banging a pilot. Not Caboose in his usual antics. And most certainly not Washington.

In less than 48 hours, they would crash land on a certain planet in the middle of nowhere. Of course, that is a story...for another day.


A response, from the Headmaster of Beacon Academy

Dear General,
I have received and am currently reviewing the information you have sent.
I am pleased to hear that Miss Polendina has successfully reached out to the AI designated Theta. And it sounds as if the Omega AI's rehabilitation is moving along well with the aid from the AI, Delta.
Of course, given Omega's nature as the Personality Core of Rage, it is best if we take care. The last thing we need is him escaping and causing mayhem.
Regarding the development of these prototypes based off of the data from Mr. Arc's Freelancer equipment, I can understand your reasons for doing so. However, I must remind you that we are in times of peace. Despite the lingering threat of Salem and her pawns, as Qrow has informed me, a show of force will only make them more careful.
We must tread lightly.
Additionally, we must keep the existence of anything in regards to Project Freelancer, the AI Fragments and the UNSC out of the ears of both the Altesian Parliament and the Vale High Council.
In the meantime, I will be expecting your next visit in the coming days. Until next time, old friend.

A/N: Credits go to Youtuber Grav in regards for Maine's Brute Shot MK-II! Credits also go to DeviantArtist strixnebulosa01 for the new cover page!