Two of the ships under recently established Skeleton Mafia cruised through the Mediterranean sea after doing their job in Greece. The skeletons on the supporting ship had a party like there's no tomorrow, while the main ship, the fishing boat, serenely traveled over the waves. Inside the flagship, the ones behind the establishment of the Skeleton Mafia were sitting behind some kind of table in a dim lighted place. The light that hanged from the ceiling rocked together along with the ship.
"DRAT!" yelled Bowser as he slammed his fist on the table, almost making everything on it fall down. "How couldn't we know about it earlier!?"
"We kinda just went for it, didn't we? We need something that will deliver us information as fast as possible!" pondered Sniper Mad John as he held on a glass of mineral water on the table.
"Well, everything turned out to be good, but it's better if we prepare for future incidents." advised Brane as he took a little sip of rakija. "Next time our luck might run out!".
"We are in demand for moles. In order for our business to go smoothly as butter, info beforehand would greatly assist us." George offered a suggestion as he was being busy flipping his quarter for fun.
"Hmmm...you are right, George!" approved Bowser as he raised his index finger in the air. "But how would we get them? Do you have any idea?"
"BAH! Yer kiddin' me. Aye em the best man for espionage here! Just look at me!" boasted Mosseau as he smacked his trash can as its noise echoed across the ship. Everyone just glared at him in both suspicion and denial. "What?!"
"Well mate, you ain't exactly wrong." assured Sniper Mad John as he scratched his chin. "But we need more spies. One person can't cover the whole area."
"...Aye, ye got me there." admitted Mosseau as he pointed his finger guns towards Mad John.
"Well, the most optimal of choices would be that we would get one of them humans on our side. Whether or not it will be difficult depends on a person." further explained George.
"Haha! It should be EASY! Easy as popping up a balloon with a nail! Too easy to convince some numbnuts to join our side!" chuckled Bowser at the idea of gaining any kind of people on his side for his ever lasting desire for conquest. The statement of his reminded something of Brane.
"Oh….we could have done that in Croatia when we….were selling quality food of Dalmatia!" said Brane, spilling out his reminder. Bowser's enthusiasm shortly crumbled after hearing his words.
"Ah boy, here we go again." sighed George, knowing what's going to happen next. Everyone else bar Don himself took a sip of their drink, prepared for the upcoming event.
"CURSE YOU, HINDSIGHT!" yelled Bowser as he lifted the entire table up in the air, ready to throw it in the sea before he stopped himself and put the table down. His henchmen were more surprised that he didn't go through it.
"Mate, we haven't even started to conquer yet. There's no need to go up in arms now." affirmed Mad John as he attempted to further calm down Bowser.
"YET! But we must conquer NOW!….or at least….VERY SOON! I've been here for quite some time and I haven't even conquered ONE ISLAND! Sure, we have spread our influence across Balkan Peninsula apparently, BUT IT DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME! I must have a fix of CLAIMING THE LAND AS OF MY OWN!" rambled Bowser as he shook his clenched fist up in the air.
"Aye get ye, Bows me lad." avowed Mosseau as he offered Bowser a bottle, to which he refused. "Aye miss me olde days as well. Need a fix of that GLORY!"
"Yes, yes, we will get to that part." grimaced George as he stopped toying with his revolver, putting it back in his pocket. Suddenly, one of the skeleton minions barged in the room.
"Boss!" urged the bonehead as he made a gesture for them to come over the intended place.
"What?!" asked Bowser as he glanced at his henchmen, expecting some pestering and such.
"There's an island in front of us! It's massive!" announced the skeleton as everyone went outside of bridge, witnessing the mass of land in the Mediterranean sea. The gust of wind gently blew in their faces.
"AW YEAH!" shouted Bowser as he punched the air in excitement. "Finally, some action!"
"Perhaps we should apply here what we were talking about earlier." recommended Sniper Mad John as he brought up his binoculars so that he could take a closer look at the island, possibly identifying it.
"You're right indeed! So….who's gonna volunteer?" said Bowser as he posed to look like an explorer once again, facing his crew with a passionate look on his face.
"Can't ignore the obvious choices, my friend!" boasted Brane as he stepped closer to him with Mad John, both of them pumping up fists in the air. Meanwhile the gangster George approached his Jaguar Mark I sedan as he opened the doors and took his mask from it, putting on it on his skeletal face.
"George! I thought you forgot about it!" exclaimed Bowser, noticing what George was wearing.
"Well, I can't play the game of risks as of now. I admit, I should have done it back in Dalmatia." cautioned George as he stepped near the men of two radically different sizes.
"So!" grinned Sniper Mad John as he rubbed his hands, preparing to hear his boss' orders. "What are we gonna do, mate?"
Bowser glanced at the island in front of them before deciding to give orders. After brainstorming for an idea, he issued an order: "Okay, so! The first official mission of Skeleton Mafia shall be this! Your job is to investigate the island, obtain information and return back here! We shall later on plan our offense on it and conquer it! Understood?!"
"Of course, my colleague!" claimed both Brane and John as the saluted towards Bowser.
"Sure." said George as he prepared his arsenal of weaponry for the most critical circumstances.
"Gyahahaha! Let me in, lads!" called in Mosseau as he raised his rusty claymore up in the air.
"Now THAT is what I LIKE TO SEE! Now remember! This is only….uh how do you say it in fancy words?" Bowser attempted to boast before his tongue got tied from trying to sound somewhat professional.
"Reconnaissance mission?" Sniper Mad John corrected him as he raised his finger.
"….are there any SIMPLER terms?!" grumbled Bowser upon hearing the word "reconnaissance". It could simply just not get inside his head.
"Well, recon for short." added John, easing the mood of his boss.
"Ah, that sounds so much better for my tongue. Anyway, got any questions?!" asked Bowser as he looked at the participants of the mission.
"What will you do?" responded George, as if he was provoking Bowser.
"...Uh...ahem. I'll just….monitor the entire thing!" mumbled Bowser, desperately trying to come up with something as the ships slowly approached the unknown yet large island. "Let me just..."
"Take this, my friend!" resounded Brane, giving him his old crusty Nokia phone while John showed his own phone, just to assure that their plan is feasible with such an idea. "We will give out calls when we obtain some good info, but don't hesitate calling us! It's gonna be real jače!"
Bowser put John's phone inside the pockets of his captain's uniform before continuing finishing his improvised order: "So, we got that out of our system! Everything else is clear! Now, we just have to park our ships, which shall be soon!"
The crew prepared for the recon as the ships of Skeleton Mafia, while the one with only skeletons on board started lagging behind the "capital" ship, started approaching one of the ports of the island. The harbor itself, while not particularly large in size, was filled with many kinds of boats, sailboats with tall yet clean masts and luxuriously fresh yachts, residing soundly yet relaxingly in it. The vessels of Skeleton Mafia stood out like sore thumbs between them, in terms of size and appearance. Few of the palm trees of Mediterranean spurted out from the stone cube-paved path. In one part of the port, a renewed medieval fort, shaped like a quadrilateral, stood, giving the port its own identity. Once they managed to properly park their ships (the second one took just a little bit more time), the gang composing of George, Brane, Sniper Mad John and Mosseau jumped off the ship, all of them, while doing flips in the air, smoothly landed on the land of harbor.
"Good luck and DON'T screw up!" ordered Bowser towards his colleagues, standing above them on the ship like a true, boastful commander.
"No issue, mate. We're professionals after all!" boasted Sniper Mad John as he gave him the finger guns along with Brane. George just tipped his hat while Mosseau raised his fist up in the air while holding one of his custom-made weaponry. They walked off away from the harbor towards as close they could get to the center while Bowser observed them from the ship. He proudly crossed his arms as he kept thinking about how much is going to conquer.
"Boss!" shouted one of his skeletal minions, interrupting Bowser's borderline daydreaming of ruling of the world.
"What is it?" asked Bowser in a rather grouchy way because he was interrupted from imagining his glory.
"We forgot to tell you the bad news. The engine of our ship is hosed!" explained the skeleton as he pointed at the ship which had such problem.
"Urghh….which one of you is responsible for this?" bellowed Bowser, angrily approaching the skeleton while the bone man looked in the eyes of his boss without fear.
"No one. It was a malfunction from the engine!" elaborated skeleton, trying to ease the situation from his boss receiving another anger attack.
"Then do what must be done: FIX IT!" furiously commanded Bowser as he stomped right into the bridge, opening the door with sheer force of his irritation.
"Of course, Don!" obliged skeleton, saluting his boss before turning back towards his comrades. "Yo, anyone tech savvy here?"
One of the skeletons donned protective mechanic's glasses and black flat hat before loudly claiming: "Ayy, I'm in! Don't worry fellas, this will be done in no time."
"Thanks, my mang!" complimented skeleton as the mechanic, along with some of his followers who seemed to know how to fix engines, marched right into the ship, seeking the engine room.
"So...what will we do after we get rid of that problem?" questioned one of the skellies, scratching his skull in the process.
"Like we always do! Except that I think we should have a different game for today. We've been playing nothing but poker as of late." avowed another skeleton, making the group of boneheads trying to come up with an idea.
"Uno?" suggested some skeleton in the gang.
"Nah, we've got enough cards for now." disagreed another skeleton, as she was impulsed by the idea of playing any card game due burn out.
"Hmmm….Monopoly?" offered one of the skeletons, hesitating a bit because he thought his idea is going to be rejected.
"Oh! That's a good one! We should go for few rounds of it, since not much of it was played here!" agreed the skeleton, to which rest of the gang also approved the idea.
"Let us invite our boss to the game!" recommended another skeleton, to which the skeletal gang cheered as they raised their fists up in the air.
Meanwhile, those who were sent on the mission strolled through the city, which held resemblance towards the towns they visited before, except the streets were more occupied by people walking down the streets, looking for various buildings such as stores and restaurants or even some historical sights. By the contrast, not many cars drove around the roads, people generally preferred to walk in order to satisfy their needs. The white blocky buildings shined under the sun, giving the city somewhat of a glow. Sometimes, seagulls flew over their heads. Bowser's henchmen observed every detail of the town, trying to gather as much information as possible.
"Aye gonna go there, ye know for covering more space, See ye later, lads." said Mosseau as he rolled off to another street.
"See you later!" waved Brane towards the one who went in their own way before he took another look at the architecture, taking a deep breath in satisfaction when he raised his hands to encompass the size of the place. "Isn't this city just beautiful?!"
"I swear every town we visited feels similar. Is it a specific style here or somethin'?" recalled George as the group continued to stroll down the city.
"I assume it's the style of Mediterranean, so we shouldn't be surprised about the similarities." cleared up Sniper Mad John while eating one of his rations that he took it from Bendigo much earlier.
"Is that so?...Say, John. You've mentioned that you have visited all corners of the world. Tell me about it." George started a conversation out of curiosity.
"Ye, mate! Been on every continent, even on Antarctica!" cheerfully answered John, having a huge, dumb grin on his crusty face.
"Antarctica?! Opa! You haven't told me about that one yet. How was it?" piqued Brane as his eyebrows rose.
"Heatstroke inducing." jested George while having his hands in the pockets.
"Hahaha! Well, mate. You must be really passionate about penguins, because that's the only reason to ever even visit it unless you're a scientist. Then you have much more important reasons to go there. That being said, it's much more lively underwater, no question why. Went scuba-diving there and there were so many fish down there! Sometimes penguins, leopard seals and even orcas appeared! Thankfully, the last one ain't no aggressive type. I managed to get up close with it and the orca I've met was quite a funny one." chuckled Sniper Mad John as he went on about one of his many journeys in his life. Brane was happily listening to his story, smiling all the way through.
"Quite enthusiastic about travelin' and fauna, huh. Ever considered to be somethin' like a guide or zookeeper?" asked George, being somewhat interested.
"Tourist guide is my part-time job at times, but my real job is much….filthier, so to say. The one that takes lives. Don't worry about it, I ain't one of those corrupt types, but yea, my job is one of the reasons why I travel so much. For zookeeper I've considered about it." conceded John, making hand gestures during his speech.
"A job, no matter how filthy is it, is still a job. Better have one than none. Back in my day, I wasn't so fortunate, but far from bein' the only one. Thanks to the circumstances back then, I had to turn into the life of crime. Ever remained one since then." told George about his own experiences while having his head slightly angled downwards.
"Ouch...I know how that feels, to fight for the basic needs." lamented Brane as he attempted to pat the shoulders of George.
"It wasn't easy there either, especially at home. Had to get money somehow." said John as he somberly frowned for a bit.
"The memories may follow us forever, but it is no use holdin' on to them. Look at us now. We're exploring all those new places without a worry to not have the needs to survive, not a single worry about not having a job. We kind of created our jobs when we established the mafia. It's not fully realized, but I feel quite a decent amount of potential." acknowledged George, ending the sudden gloomy mood of the conversation with his message.
"Indeed, mate." affirmed John with his grin returning on his face.
"Credit to Bowser, of course!" praised Brane as he pumped his fist in the air.
"Surprisingly, yeah. He ain't exactly the sharpest, but it's nice that he got us somewhere." said George, snapping his finger in a complimenting way.
"I wonder what would Mosseau say about this." pondered Sniper Mad John, scratching his crusty beard.
"Frankly, it feels kind of empty without him ramblin' about whatever thing has he done." addressed George.
"Say, where do you think he went on his own?" asked Brane as they kept continuing wandering around the city, still doing the same as before.
Meanwhile in a bar with a rather large neon sign stating " LINEKERS" above it, accompanied with the symbol of the lion like creature, Mosseau rolled in through the few tables and chairs right into the entrance, revealing a spacious, well lit but empty bar with only large, bald bartender in it, cleaning the glasses. The equipment and furniture inside the bar was relatively clean, possibly from the bartender taking everything inside. He immediately looked over the entrance after hearing a loud, booming noise from Mosseau bum-rushing in the bar.
"You must be in a need." quipped the bartender while not even bothering with the appearance of his customer while still cleaning the glasses and cups.
"Aye, ye got that right! Aye am in a massive need!" confirmed Mosseau as he approached towards the bartender, slamming his fist as he demanded: "GIVE ME SOME GOOD HOMEGROWN STUFF!"
"...Sure." muttered the bartender, glaring at the demanding Scot before giving him a small menu with the names of drinks on it. "What do you want?"
Mosseau took a good look at the laminated paper and saw that the names of the beverages were written in Greek letters alongside with words written in Latin alphabet. The names of drinks were printed on the both sides of the paper. After thinking about what to choose, he then put the paper back and pointed directly on the first name on the menu.
"Aye want Commandaria! Make it good, laddeh!" boastfully demanded Mosseau. The bartender sighed before going for the bottle of the requested wine in the back. Once he brought the desired wine, he gave it to the still sober skeleton. The bottle itself was black with the red cap on top of it, etiquette covering the radius of it, its name being written in golden colors while warning about the volume of 15%.
"Mind if Aye take it home?" requested Mosseau as he grabbed the bottle like how an owl grabs mice with its talons.
"Okay, just pay for it." bellowed the bartender as he reached out his hand and opened his palm, requesting the dosh. "30 Euros shall it be."
"Ooooooh, Aye got something better than just measly mone!" boasted Mosseau as he whipped out a shiningly golden 7.62x51mm bullet out of his trash can. The glow from the bullet caused bartender to flinch.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" scoffed bartender, pretending to be unimpressed by the bullet.
"Oh that, my lad, is the legendary 24 carat bullet! It gives lads like us fortune, meaning that we'll always not only survive but win as well. However, the luck runs out if you use it, so conserve it and if ye don't believe me that the bullet is made out of gold..." explained Mosseau before he pulled out a 24 carat golden bar out of his trash can. Bartender's jaw dropped when he saw the bar shining in Mosseau's boney arms.
"C-can I...have it?" stuttered the bartender, admiring the glow of the golden bar while desperately trying to reach it and grab it.
"Take it! Just give me good stuff!" affirmed Mosseau as they exchanged their things with bartender giving him additional bottles of Commandaria.
"See ye efter!" greeted off Mosseau, rolling out of the bar with him being equipped with many bottles of Commandaria as the bartender was too busy staring at the golden items he received. He went off towards the back door, entering the alleyway behind the bar for a cigarette pause, yet he was still admiring the glow of the bullet and a golden bar.
"I'm gonna be rich! RICH! Finally, a future that is not running this damned bar!" shouted the bartender in joy as he raised the golden bullet and the bar up in the air. Suddenly, a dark stout figure flew down from the sky and snatched the items he held so dearly. Just like how his temporary possessions disappeared in front of his eyes, so did his brief moment of happiness. He sighed as he returned inside, back to running his bar as always.
Outside the entrance, Mosseau was wheezing from laughter as he was taking the "sips" of the amber-colored sweet dessert wine, greatly enjoying the taste.
"OHOHOHOHOH! GYAHAHAHA! Fooken mongloid! He totally felt for it!" he laughed far behind bartender's back, greatly ingesting the wine. However, he decided to spare some of the bottles, for his collection of alcoholic beverages and for future uses. "Aye just repainted a steel bar and a bullet in gold!
The laughter ceased as soon as he saw the stout figure flying above him. The man himself seemed to steer on a large balloon high up in the air.
"What the bloody hell is that?!" asked Mosseau as he saw the flying man in the sky. He decided to follow him out of curiosity.
Meanwhile George, Brane and John continued strolling down the town, searching for any information they could find and talking about various topics, mostly about life and cars of old and new. During their mission they haven't encountered many people, be them detrimental or helpful for their mission.
"Did Bows specify anything we need to bring to him? I know it's information but any items and such?" queried Brane.
"Not really. We could just say what needs to be said and it's over. He didn't say much about what exactly but I think I know what he meant: the name of the city, the name of the island and background information." cleared up George as they suddenly stopped walking.
"I can easily provide the background info!" cheerfully boasted Mad John before noticing that they were standing right in front of the souvenir shop.
"….Oh." all of them disclosed as they approached the shop up close, observing any possible items that could give information inside through the window. The shopkeeper stood behind the register, staring at the clock which hung from one of the shop's walls. Near the shop there were some bicycles and a worn out crusty moped parked, seemingly not protected by anything.
"Anyone found anythin' ?" asked George as they kept observing the interior of the store, witnessing many items scattered around in it such as cups, postcards, ships in bottles and much more, some of them kitsch.
"Aha!" shouted Brane as he spotted a postcard with a beautiful coast alongside with crystal clear sea on it along with one word written in golden letters. "We are in Paphos!"
"Paphos? Lemme see it up close." piqued Sniper Mad John, taking a closer look at the postcard as he saw a white flag with a golden shape of the island along with two stylized olive branches below in the top left corner of the postcard. "So we are….in Cyprus."
"Nice! Never been to it before, so I'm making history here!" crowed Brane as he was nearly prepared to buy some souvenirs before stopping himself from fruitlessly wasting money.
"I don't have a word in it, but seems like a tranquil place to live." commented George. On other hand, Sniper Mad John only had an expression used at times of something going hugely wrong as his mouth was wide open.
"Hm? Što se radi, Johne?(What's happening, John?)" asked Brane, puzzled at his colleague's reaction. George also glanced over, sharing his feeling with Brane as well.
"...Mates, I think we goofed up." calmly said Sniper Mad John as he brought up the phone from his pocket.
"What do you mean? Everythin' went decently well as of far." questioned George, scratching the tip of the hat as he looked at what John was going to do.
"I'll explain everything in the call." clarified Sniper Mad John as he tapped on his phone before starting a call.
Meanwhile on the flagship of Skeleton mafia, Bowser was playing monopoly alongside his skeletal troops, with each of the player having some money on their side and a figure of something, be it an object or life form, which worked for the player to obtain real estate. While all of the players did get some houses, some were more fortunate with others with Bowser being on the "Go to jail" space. Because of this, he glared at the figure while tapping his fingers. Non-participants watched the game, some of them even eating čevapi with kajmak, ajvar or mustard, basically their equivalent of wings during an intense game of Superbowl. Some of them took liberties with food and brought in kebabs, pljeskavicas and other typical Balkan food. Despite all of this, none of them were eating sarma. Each skeleton cheered for the player of their own choices, but most skeletons sided with Bowser, chanting his name when the game seemed in favor of him. The "fans" of other participants did that as well.
The Nokia phone in Bowser's pocket rang, heavily vibrating in the process. He picked it up and answered, still holding an annoyed expression on his face.
"Don Bowser! I've got stuff you wanted!" said the voice of Sniper Mad John through the phone.
"Huh? Already?! Well that was quick! Tell me!" marveled Bowser as he got his energy back. The skeletons stopped partying as they started to pay attention towards the news.
"It seems that we are in Cyprus, the island not that far away from Crete." started reporting Mad John through the compression.
"Cyprus? I think I've heard that one before." recalled Bowser, looking at the detached metallic skull of a bull on his table, used as a lucky charm.
"Yea, mate. However, what they told us about it during our visit in Crete gave us a bit of the idea on why starting a proper operation of taking over Cyprus will put our goals to the bitter end." warned John before he actually explained why.
"It's because of THAT NATO HOOLIGAN ORGANIZATION, isn't it?" angrily assumed Bowser, clenching his fist in the process.
"Not exactly. Cyprus is not a member of North Atlantic Treaty Organization but there's a dispute about this island between two NATO countries...for one which we had helped. Invading it would not only cause a grave international distress, but it would definitely make NATO intervene, destroying both us and our plans. In other words…..it would be a massive shiteshow." explained Sniper Mad John in the most tranquil possible way.
"DARN YOU, UNSTABLE INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS!" yelled Bowser, causing voice cracks from John's phone as he shook his fist up in the air. "Now, return back to the ship. We'll start our conquest somewhere else. Somewhere where THOSE NATO CHUMPS don't have constant view!"
"No worries! I'll draw the path out of Mediterranean once we return!" promised John before the call ended. Few moments of silence and confusion followed.
"Are we actually gonna leave Mediterranean?" asked Brane as if he was concerned.
"Unfortunately, yes." confirmed John. Brane, while taking the realization well, still felt some sentimentality over not only leaving his homeland, but the continent as well. George also felt somewhat uneasy, but hid his emotions under the stoic facade of his.
"So….anyone want souvenirs?" asked George, pointing towards the store.
"OF COURSE!" shouted Brane and John in agreement, pumping their fists. All of them went inside and ventured into the shop, thinking what to buy. The store itself was cramped and small, so even with only just three people it felt like it was already full, granted though that Sniper Mad John's size equates to the size of two men. Brane chose the ship in a bottle, Mad John picked up some of the key chains while George secretly put some maps in his pockets. Two of the men paid for their stuff while the skeleton gangster sneaked out of the store without being spotted by the cashier. Leaving the store, the trio stepped closer to each other and showed their items to each other.
"That's a pretty nice boat, mate. Good choice." John complimented the vessel, similar to those in the 19th century, inside the bottle.
"Thank you! It is quite neat." thanked Brane as he gave John a high five.
"We gotta go now, capisce?" ordered George. He pointed towards the assumed direction of their ship before they put their items in their pockets. Suddenly, the shadowy stout figure struck from the sky and snatched the gang's items before they could even properly put them in their pockets. The group realized their situation once they felt a gust of wind in their face, almost causing George's hat to fall off.
"...The hell?" wondered George as he and his colleagues frantically searched through their pockets before noticing the figure of a man holding on the balloon as he flew in the sky.
"Is that…." said Brane, noticing some familiarity in the figure. John tried to figure out what Brane meant while George quickly pulled out his revolver and shot at the figure. The sound of the shot echoed through out the city, making many inhabitants looking through the windows what was even happening. The bullet pierced right through the balloon, popping it like it's nothing. The man in the sky flailed his arms like a madman once he realized that his transport device is no more and started falling down the sky like a stone. After hearing the sound of a man impacting the road, the gang ran up towards the destination of the man, only to be surprised what they saw. The man wore a red superhero like mask, complemented by the red cape which covered the yellow corset, presumably hiding girth of the lad. The formerly flying mustached man, also with black shorts, was picking himself up from the impact, but was caught surrounded by George, John and Brane.
"IZ BIJESA!" yelled Brane in shock as he saw the man, all of the recalls of his becoming true. "IT'S..."
"What?" asked Mad John after witnessing the man that fell from the sky, trying to see if knew about him before.
"Alright, Mr. Rejected idea for a comic book protagonist, give us the stuff back and make it quick." threated George, pointing his Silver Coyote revolver at him with his finger being on the trigger, prepared to be pulled any time.
The stubby mustached man chuckled as he fully picked himself up and stood in front of them, not even flinching at the threat made by George, who kept being calm even by the man's resolve.
"..Hahahahaha! Yes it is I..." laughed the man before he properly introduced himself as the gang continued being on guard.
"SUPERHIK!"
Brane gasped in shock after the man introduced himself while other two just glanced at each other in confusion.
"...Who?" asked George as he started to lower down the revolver, questioning if he's even a proper threat.
"Bastard jedni!" shouted Brane at him, threatening Superhik with his fist. However he didn't seem to be afraid of it.
"Hah! It seems like only one of you knows me already. I am Superhik, the patron and guardian of the wealthy! I steal from the poor so I can give it to rich! And now here, in Cyprus, I plan my grand return to New York!" boasted Superhik, shaking his fist in the air. The sentence about returning to New York made George lift up his revolver again while Brane clenched his teeth.
"..You sure you got that right, mate?" asked Mad John, questioning his modus operandi.
"Yes, I did. Now you fools won't bother me anymore as I continue planning my return!" daunted Superhik as he pulled out a bottle without the etiquette out of the cape and started drinking it.
"Should we shoot him now?" John questioned George, the latter still holding on the revolver.
"No need to make a mess at the moment. All it would do is to get the cops after us because of one blood bag." explained George while putting down his revolver back in the pocket and raised up his fists, to which both John and Brane followed. Superhik finished his drink and menacingly glared at them before taking a deep breath.
"DOVRAGA! Cover your noses!" alerted Brane as he grabbed his nose in preparation, so did John. George couldn't exactly do that because his lack of actual nose. Superhik exhaled and blew them his breath. The breath itself was visible, being colored green. Even though they covered their noses, they still felt the absolute magnitude of sheer smell of Superhik's breath, making them heavily flinch in the process.
"Lord, this is worse than anything from sewers!" rasped George as he crouched down from Superhik's offense along with his comrades.
"Mate, what the flying fuck?!" grimaced John before he started coughing from it.
"Iz bijesa! Ajde u kurac, Superhike! (Go into a dick, Superhik!)" swore Brane with anger in the bottom of his heart directed towards Superhik.
"Hahahaha! Now,...I must return! The reign of Superhik shall start again!" taunted Superhik, just as he attempted to retreat for them in order to continue his plans, but not before a force of something intercepted and crashed right into him, sending him off towards the store that he was in front of. Breaking the glass doors of the store while launched, he landed right in the merchandising refrigerator, destroying it as every possible plastic bottle above fell on his head. In front of the store stood the force of something that crashed into him: Mosseau. Somehow, he managed to catch Superhik's bottle while he bumped into him. He glanced over his colleagues and saw them still crouching. As soon as they noticed him, they stood up and frowningly pointed towards Superhik, who now lied unconscious in the broken refrigerator.
"Found ye!" yelled Mosseau as he looked towards the man in the costume, taunting him by shaking the bottle of his.
"Watch out for his breath, Mosseau!" warned Brane, knowing the experience.
"What?!" said Mosseau while deciding to inspect the bottle of the caped menace. He opened the cap of the bottle and sniffed it, immediately noticing the problem. "Shite's expired!"
Superhik regained consciousness as he picked himself up from the refrigerator and removed the bottles. He noticed what Mosseau was holding, but instead of getting angry that he had his main source of power, he could only stare at Mosseau's appearance.
"Impossible! I couldn't be drunk, alcohol is in my veins!" he yelped as he saw the skeleton in the trash can before his frustration kicked in.
"Alcohol in yer veins! Hah! So did I have it back when I was human!" commented Mosseau, causing puzzled reactions from his colleagues.
"Give me back my bottle, you abomination!" fumed Superhik as he prepared himself to lunge at Mosseau and use his trademark breath on him.
"Oh, ye drink from that?!" goaded Mosseau as he flailed the bottle to anger him. "Ye'd have better luck drinking DIARRHEA than this vomit!"
"No, you think? Of course I do, bonehead!" sassed Superhik, causing Mosseau's head to twitch. Other colleagues stepped in, attempting to possibly intercept Superhik if he tried to escaped, but kept relative distance from the raging skeleton in a trash can.
"...Ye fooken WOT?!" roared Mosseau with his accent getting suddenly thicker, throwing the bottle directly at Superhik, hitting him in the process. Yet only thing it caused to Superhik was making him flinch. "First ye insult me….NOW YE INSULT THE WINE, FINEST BLESSINGS OF THE GODS EVER, BY DRINKING THAT SHITE?!"
"And? What's the problem, you sour pisstake?" further taunted Superhik as he inhaled, oozing out any possible smell from his breath.
"A'M GONNA SAW YER BONES AND SELL EM ON THE BLACK MARKET, MONGREL!" loudly threatened Mosseau, pulling out two of his chainsaws out of his trash can and revved them up as they roared with the might of the angry Scot.
"Shit!" gulped Superhik with his jaw dropping at the sight, irises shrinking and balls dropping. Mosseau lunged at him ahead with the chainsaws, but Superhik narrowly escaped the attack by spitting out his breath and narrowly sliding towards the exit of the store, making Mosseau crash into the same refrigerator as he did earlier. George, Brane and John attempted to capture Superhik, preventing him from escaping but Superhik managed to evade all of them as he grabbed the moped of the Vespa Primavera 50 4T 4V kind and drove off away from them.
"Goodbye, you bastards!" he taunted as he kept distancing from them, waving at them in the gaudiest possible way.
"COME BACK 'ERE, YE COWARDLY SARDONIC SWINE!" shouted Mosseau at him before turning back towards his lads.
"Dovraga! We cannot let him escape, but only Mosseau has a proper way to keep a track of him!" seethed Brane as he smacked his fist on his palm. All of them looked back and saw few bicycles parked in front of the shop which they had previously visited and then glanced at each other, thinking about the idea itself.
"You sure this is gonna do it, mates?" asked Mad John, doubting the idea.
"A job must be done, the way how to do it be damned." declared George before all of them bar Mosseau jumped on the bikes, landing their posteriors on the saddles.
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" Mosseau let out his war cry, pointing the chainsaws towards the direction their current adversary went as they started pedaling like mad twats. It did not take long to reach their maximum velocity. Mosseau followed them while keeping the same velocity as them.
Meanwhile, Superhik started slowing down once he noticed no one is behind him, smugly smirking in satisfaction. He was the only one who was driving in the somewhat quiet town, with only cars being around parked near the houses.
"Hah! Too easy! These morons couldn't even stand a chance." he thought to himself before he pulled out a balloon out of the area around cape and started blowing it, so he could fly again. Just before he could fully inflate the balloon, a shot was heard and the bullet flew right above his head, popping up the balloon as the elastic covered his face. After removing the elastic from his face, he looked back and saw three lads and one skeleton in a trash can on wheels chasing after him. His feeling of accomplishment dropped immediately as he tightened the grip on the handle bar, speeding up drastically. Yet the gang still was in range within the possibility of reaching him.
George held on his handle bar with one hand, since he was holding the revolver in his other hand. He started aiming towards the wheel of the moped after he shot the balloon. Brane and John accompanied him during the chase while Mosseau brought up two of his Vickers machine guns and aimed at Superhik.
"Not the best time to make one's bones , Mosseau." ordered George, stopping Mosseau from firing as he reluctantly put the machine guns back in the trash can, instead opting for the chainsaws.
"Now yer gonna get it, FUCKER!" threatened Mosseau as he closed near Superhik and attempted to cut him down with diagonal slashes, but Superhik evaded all of the attacks by distancing himself with his moped before striking Mosseau by bumping into him, causing the mad skeleton to lose track and nearly crashing into the nearest building, but Mosseau managed to break just in time to avoid collateral damage. His colleagues looked at him, reassuring if everything is going alright with him before they changed focus on the escaping hooligan.
"Not this time! Hahahaha!" laughed Superhik, bringing up another one of his bottles, this one lacking any substance. He threw it behind his back in order to hit anyone chasing him, but the bottle landed just a bit earlier to really hit the gang, but the shrapnels flew across the street, making the bicyclists evade them. Not a single shrapnel hit the bikers or the tires, but few of them bounced off Mosseau's trash can. It seemed that people of Paphos noticed the sound with residents of few buildings looking through open windows at the scene. They couldn't believe what was happening.
"Superhik!" some of them yelled before they started booing for him, however he took pride with it, grinning to himself. People kept looking at the gang in bewilderment, not sure if they should cheer for him.
George attempted to shoot the back tire of Superhik's moped, but he kept almost flawlessly evading them, making some smooth moves in the process. Once George noticed his gun is out of bullets, he let off of the handle and searched through the pocket to find additional bullets. Superhik took a notice in that, so he aligned himself right in front of George as he prepared another empty bottle, but his plan got foiled once Mosseau bumped right into him, temporarily losing the grip of his moped. He retaliated back by ramming sideways into Mosseau, but the Scot held on tight. Both of them kept pushing each other with their vehicles with them constantly tilting while George tried his hardest to keep the bike balanced while reloading the gun.
Sniper Mad John and Brane sneaked right at the side of the Superhik while he was dealing with Mosseau with Brane being pedaling on the right side of his massive friend. Superhik noticed it immediately and grabbed another one of his full bottles and started drinking it, but was constantly interrupted by John's attempted punches, having to resort to evasive maneuvers while drinking. Somehow, Superhik managed to drink the entire spoiled black wine in seconds and started to inhale. Knowing the inevitable, Sniper Mad John and Brane backed off while Mosseau ducked inside the trash can, sliding off a bit to the left. In the mean time, George managed to reload his gun without and disturbance and looked at the situation in front of him. After analyzing it, he grinned as he pointed his revolver towards the trash can owned by Mosseau and fired the bullet at it. The bullet itself bounced off just at the right angle, making it flying towards the front wheel, penetrating it as Superhik flipped over, but, due quick reflexes, he grabbed a balloon, inflated it with his volatile breath and flew off away from the gang.
"Što?! (What?!)" shouted Brane as he saw the sudden ascension of the alcoholic thug, not knowing what to do. George pointed the gun at him, but realized he was out of reach.
"Follow him, where he lands!" advised John as they cycled towards the direction of Superhik.
Meanwhile, Superhik landed on the roof of one of the shiningly white buildings in Paphos, watching above the streets. The balloon of his deflated the breath out, going high up in the air instead.
"Phew…..I take my words back. They're like Group TNT...except arguably crazier, especially the one in the trash can! What the fuck!" confided Superhik to himself while checking if he still has all the stolen items from before, exhaling in relief. "I have to get outta here real soon! New York can't wait much longer! I must give the stuff to the rich!"
"Oh...I only have few balloons left. Better make a good use of it!" said Superhik to himself as he pulled out one of his last balloons and started inflating it. The moment it seemed like the balloon was ready to go, a bullet out of nowhere popped up his balloon just like before. Superhik froze in fear once he realized who was near him: George, Mosseau, John and Brane, standing right behind him on the roof. After firing a shot, George placed his revolver back into the pocket.
Superhik turned behind and saw them all glaring at him while cracking their fists. Brane was even smirking in satisfaction, seeing the adversary cornered.
"Alright, we're busy men, make it quick. Give back our stuff, capisce?" said George in the most stoic, yet threatening voice possible.
Superhik, while heavily sweating, thought about how to respond to the threat. He could have easily pulled a balloon, but it would risk him losing one thanks to George. Attempting to strike with his weapon of choice could cost him life is what he also considered about. Running away seemed like the safest option to him, but at the same time most dishonorable. Then he decided his incoming action…
"Never! I, Superhik, the patron and guardian of the rich, shall not go without a fight!" boasted Superhik as he prepared to drink one of his bottles again, only to get jabbed right into the stomach by Brane, spitting all of the drink out.
"Take that, ludake jedni!" yelled Brane when he punched, which was followed by Mosseau going behind Superhik and striking him in the back of the head with his fists. Just as Superhik was about to fall down of the floor, Sniper Mad John performed an uppercut right on his chin, making him stand up dizzily for a bit. For the finale, George stepped right in front of him, placing his arm that it blocked the sun. The rest of the gang was watching George like they were on the edge of the seat.
"W-who are you madmen?" stuttered Superhik while holding on the remaining consciousness of his, prancing around the roof as if he was malfunctioning.
"SKELETON BITCH SLAP!"
George delivered his mighty slap across Superhik's face, heavily injuring his jaw, knocking out all of his consciousness and sending him flying across the city from the sheer force of the impact.
"Holy shit, man." gasped Mosseau in awe after witnessing the slap while John's and Brane's mouths dropped from how did he manage to make the alcoholic criminal fly across the sky from a mere slap.
"As if I'm moronic enough to tell him the name of our organization." uttered George in annoyance before all of them decided to visit the location where Superhik landed.
After some time leaving the building, the gang started walking towards their desired destination. Exhausted from all the work, their speed was rather slow. The city, while used to be slightly empty, was now filled with people watching them, secretly admiring them for what they did.
"Say, Brane...What's the reason that he pissed you off so much?" asked George as they kept strolling down.
"Do you remember the time when you saw me behind my stand constantly without any business? That was his doing. He's the reason why I couldn't get any money until you and Bowser came in!" explained Brane in a rather relaxed way, relieved and satisfied that his enemy got just what he deserved.
"Oh...I get ya, my associate. I get you well." commented George as he tipped his hat. Once they arrived, they saw the unconscious Superhik laying down as if stars were circling around his head. People were laughing and swearing at the man, but it stopped once they saw the gang walking towards them. Mosseau came closer towards the laying Superhik and picked up every item belonging to them that he stole: a "golden bar", "golden bullet", key chains, maps and a ship in the bottle.
"Our now!" said John in satisfaction as the gang had their grips back on the desired items.
"You there!" the crowd cheered as the gang turned towards them, slightly confused on why they called them. "Thank you for beating the crap out of that asshole! He was destroying the...relative peace in this country….and the aroma!"
"No problem!" thanked John as he bowed down to them with others as well. Suddenly a telephone rang from his pocket. He picked it up and he heard the easily recognizable voice through it.
"WHERE ARE YOU ALL?!" roared Bowser through the phone, causing some voice cracks in the process.
"Oh, we were supposed to return but….we had some unexpected slight technical difficulties here." elaborated John while remaining as calm as possible.
"BAH! Technical difficulties, RETURN TO THE SHIP!" furiously commanded Bowser, causing more voice cracks in John's phone.
"I think it might not be as soon as you think. We'll return whenever we can." persuaded John to give them some time while others carefully listened to their discussion.
"Fine! If it truly is THAT much of an issue, then I'll allow it until midnight." allowed Bowser before they said farewell to each other, cutting the call. John and his friends looked at the public and asked: "So...now that he's wrecked….what now?"
"Party?" requested one of the citizens of Paphos, which others were on board with the idea, shouting "YEAH" and raising their fists.
"Aye!" shouted Mosseau, Brane and Mad John in agreement as they also pumped their fists up in the air. They took a look at George to see if he agrees with it.
"I would have returned immediately but….I can't leave my associates behind." agreed George and thus the party across the city started. The contemporary energetic music blared through the city as John, Brane and Mosseau danced (or in Mosseau's case, flailing his arms like a flag in the wind) while George observed them while drinking martinis. John and Brane tried few of the drinks there but remained sober while Mosseau was chugging everything on sight. People asked to take pictures with them, though the most popular choice was Mosseau due his appearance. All of them bar George, to which barely anyone requested to take a picture with him because people were intimidated by him, allowed and made some goofy poses in the process. Sometimes Brane took the role of DJ and blasted some intense accordion music in the bar. None than less, all of them were having fun of their life that moment.
Night dawned upon Paphos with all of them remaining sober (even Mosseau) as they strutted confidently towards their ship. The full moon illuminated the city, keeping it away from the darkness as the waves gently touched the coast of Cyprus. The sea itself was black, with only the reflection of the moon on it. Bowser, along with Scrongus and Crongus acting like guards, was waiting for them in front of the ship, tapping his foot on the surface while having his arms crossed.
"So...what time is it now?" threateningly asked Bowser, thinking that they were only returning past midnight.
"Ten minutes until midnight." responded John, looking at the time on his phone. His response surprised Bowser, making him check the time on Brane's phone he kept just to be sure what John said was correct.
"Huh...you are indeed correct." said Bowser, toning down his frustrations by that fact. "Otherwise, we don't have much luck going here, do we?"
"Not one bit, Don Bowser." confirmed George as all of them got closer towards their boss.
"If yer wondering why are we late, some arsehole attacked us and it took longer than expected" further explained Mosseau as he held on one of his Commandaria bottles, still sipping it.
"I see….Do you remember his name?" pondered Bowser while fixing his captain's hat for a more comfortable position.
"It was Superhik, boss!" spilled out Brane as soon as he could.
"We'll be needin' a gas mask after that." added George while somewhat jesting about it.
"Ah...tell him that next time he meddles with our plans, he will be begging for his momma to save him." cautioned Bowser with a rather psychotic smirk on his face, catching off guard everyone around him.
"Of...course." remarked Sniper Mad John while being off put by the expression of his boss.
"By the way, I won the game of monopoly. We just finished now." Bowser suddenly changed the entire feel of the conversation as he stated.
"Nice, mang." complimented Mosseau before all of them decided to board the ship, but not before hearing a faint noise of menacing accordion. The group of them stopped and started looking around to see the potential source of the unknown sound.
"Momci, do you hear any instrument right now?" asked Brane, being weirded out by the noise as he kept looking around. The sounds of accordion, playing a rather famous tune akin to a theme of a certain villain in a movie about an intergalactic war.
"Indeed I do." confirmed Mad John while going in a fighting stance.
"Whom the bloody FUCK plays an accordion in the night?" questioned Mosseau as he prepared his chainsaws for any incoming attacks. The menacing accordion kept getting louder.
"It's not a question of who, but why?" said George as he prepared his revolver in advance.
"Why? More like WHAT EVEN is going on now?!" shouted Bowser in confusion, but just like his colleagues he prepared himself in a fighting stance. The sounds of the menacing (yet copyright infringing) accordion kept getting louder. Suddenly…
"I have you now!"
A man, dressed exactly like a soldier would but with gas mask on his face and an olive-green cape covering his back, rose from the water as he strolled, almost strutting, towards them.
"...WHAT?!" everyone yelled in response of witnessing such event while pointing their fists and weapons at the man. The man chuckled in response as he kept strolling towards them. The gang took some slight step backwards just to feel safer.
"Give me….čevapi." requested the man as suddenly, a lighting from a cloudless sky struck the sea, causing a humongous thunder. No one from Skeleton Mafia knew how to respond to such man like him.
"...Ordinary or from Leskovac?" daringly asked Brane while being completely on board of giving anyone his food.
"Any." responded the man in the most dramatic way possible while the gang still looked at him in confusion, possibly even fear.
"I'll be right back!" crowed Brane as he ran right inside the ship, so he could reach the kitchen as fast as possible. Everyone else just kept staring at him.
"...Who are you even?" asked Bowser, baffled about...everything about him.
"I am Balkan Lord of Čevapi. The sentinel of the darkness. Many truths and strengths are hidden inside me, but I seek life forms with incredible potential, so I can give them such powers. But great capability requires immense sacrifice. Therefore, I shall lend my hand towards the ones who could ascend to greatness….but they have to do me a single favor." the man introduced himself, only raising more questions in the progress.
"Lord of Čevapi? Are you serious? What do you mean by ALL OF….this...uh" stuttered Bowser while still not knowing how to respond. Others remained silent, but they felt great disturbance in the air.
"Even Hell itself couldn't come up with such bullshite, hahaha! Come at us, Aye dare ya!" cackled Mosseau at him while making a taunting gesture with his arms. The Balkan Lord of Čevapi chuckled at his response before turning towards a rusty boat that was lying ashore. He made a thrust with his arm, causing a loud sound akin to those heard in an explosion as the rusty boat itself turned into many meat dumplings a la čevapi. The jaws of everyone dropped after witnessing the action of his.
"Well….fuck me geggie. Hell didn't prepare me for 'tis." shuddered Mosseau, deciding it would be a better idea to be quiet.
"Now you see. Fighting back against such forms is futile." warned Balkan Lord of Čevapi as he turned towards them.
"Well…..what do you EVEN want to do!? How are we supposed to know when to attack if we don't know on what side are you on?" frantically kept asking Bowser while flailing his arms around.
"My quest is to make life beings with great potential ascend to prosperity, hence why I have come here." cleared up Balkan Lord of Čevapi as he pointed towards Bowser.
"So you're saying….you are sensing potential inside of me? Us?" Bowser pointed at himself in confusion. George secretly nodded in agreement with him.
The Balkan Lord of Čevapi chuckled before hearing Brane's footsteps, bum-rushing right out of the ship before landing near his gang, with a plate of many čevapi.
"Voila! Bon appetit!" cheered Brane as he gave the plate to the Balkan Lord. He picked up one of the meat dumplings and sucked it right through the filter on the mask, weirding out everyone. They waited for his review, clenching their fists in anxiety.
"..."
"..."
"You…." said Balkan Lord of Čevapi as he pointed at Brane, spooking him out. "You...make excellent čevapi."
"OH! Thank you, thank you!" thanked Brane, bowing down in front of the Balkan Lord of Čevapi.
"So, I get these new powers now?" asked Bowser, being all giddy about it as he raised his fist in excitement.
"...Not yet." declined Balkan Lord of Čevapi as he turned away from the group and started walking away from them, returning back to the sea.
"Huh?! Then what was THAT talk all about? FOR NOTHING?!" fumed Bowser as his expectations were crushed. Others still remained quiet about it.
"It is not that like you have not potential. On the contrary, you're one of the most intriguing types of life forms I've ever seen. Yet you are not prepared. For now I shall be your guide before granting you dark powers." explained Balkan Lord of Čevapi his reasoning for not giving him powers immediately.
"Prepared for what?!" demandingly asked Bowser as if he was interrogating him.
"..."
"..."
"...For the consequences of the path you have chosen to follow."
Suddenly, the Balkan Lord of Čevapi disappeared right in front of their eyes along with the čevapi that Brane has made. Everyone was left speechless as they boarded their flagship.
"What did he mean by this?" thought Bowser to himself before entering bridge and thus conceptualizing his next plan, but the thought itself couldn't go away.
