The ships have departed from the once stronghold of the ancient Persian king, now claiming the island as their own. By Bowser's request, they gave it the name of "Despot Island", partially due to the memory of the aforementioned Shah. On the capital ship, skeleton with binoculars was back on duty, observing the surroundings to find any islands on his sight. Meanwhile, Bowser and his henchmen were discussing about the events that happened on the island.
"Hahaha, you wouldn't believe what I fought on that island!" laughed Bowser, already prepared to flex about his latest accomplishment. He was so full of pride that even a drunken sailor that fought against everyone in a bar and won would tell him to chill.
"What even was there?" asked George as he crossed his arms before he began to listen to his boss.
"I can safely assume it was the cause of the unnatural occurrences in the Arab sea, but I'm not entirely sure what was it." assumed Mad John, scratching his crusty beard during his thinking.
"Okay so, get this: it was an ancient king that was cursed on this island after being defeated by none other than Alexander the Great!" revealed Bowser, much to the surprise of everyone in the room.
"Wait what?" perplexed George when he heard the answer. He wasn't sure if Bowser was making things up or not, but then again, he saw beings like an extremely furious swordfish and a mechanical heavily armed minotaur with his own eye(sockets).
"Well now." casually responded Mad John, being used to such situation even before he even met Bowser.
"I'm not making this up!" added Bowser, just in any case his colleagues doubted him about it.
"Dovraga! So he was behind the storm!" Brane raised his clenched fist when he realized the true cause of the storm. However, he was quite satisfied that his boss defeated the menace from the antique, since they could traverse the sea safely at that moment.
"Is that Shah Hzalazan yer talkin about?" suddenly spoke Mosseau as he turned towards his boss with great interest.
"Haha, yes, indeed I am-wait, how did you know about him?" just before Bowser could boast about it, he was taken by surprise when his Scottish lad uttered his name. "Have you fought him as well?"
"Aye was born in 1000 AD. Alexander the Great died in 323 BC, which was also the same year where he fought that bastard. Do the math by yerself." sassed Mosseau, thinking that his question was, quite frankly, stupid, considering the distances of eras either of them lived in. He also thought his age was obvious, despite not properly telling his boss before.
"That still doesn't explain how did you know about him!" angrily badgered Bowser.
"Regional legends, laddeh. Aye've been to these places about after Aye've been kicked from Hell like the first time. Arab lads were telling me about it. There were even some books about it. In fact…" explained Mosseau properly before he looked through his trash can and brought up a crusty looking book with brown blank cover. The pages within it were colored completely yellow due age, with them also being rather delicate. Had a reader turned the page with more force than expected, it would crumble. Mosseau looked through it to find pages that covered Hzalazan's history. Once he found them, he gave the book to Bowser. "Here ya go, laddeh."
"Oh...I see. That does make sense." responded Bowser before he started reading Mosseau's book. When his eyes met the content of the book, one thing that immediately grabbed his attention was a rather well preserved black illustration of Shah Hzalazan's silhouette looming over a burning city of Babylon. The silhouette of the former Persian king blended in the dark atmosphere with only his fiendish eyes glowing as they watched the blazing inferno beneath it. Bowser smirked at the illustration, knowing that he scored a victory against a being of such significance. However, there was one issue he had with the book: it was written in Arabic. Not only did he not understand the written content at all, he was also reading it from left to right. "What does it even say?"
"It says "Before Alexander III of Macedon's conquest of Persia, Shah Hzalazan covertly ruled the empire with an iron fist. No Persian king managed to destroy his regime, as they either perished during the battle, submitted to his rule or escaped the duel but died due Hzalazan's curses, which were often formed in natural disasters. Alexander III managed to indirectly overthrow him when he won against Persia...It was only at the time when Alexander III of Macedon was in Babylon for the first time when they first met…" and so on." translated Mosseau to him, reading from right to left as one should.
"I'm curious how did you even get there." wondered George, also being genuinely impressed that Mosseau could read Arabic at all. It wasn't something he expected.
"Lads had a severe problem with seafaring thieving cunts, so the Scots offered to send me to it. Lets say that the bloody piracy plummeted all the way down to the abyss. Gyahahaha!" boasted Mosseau in a way he would usually do.
"You sure do hate pirates, don't you." commented Bowser, thinking that while Mosseau's hatred of pirates was understandable, he felt that he was way too overboard with it. Mario and Luigi give him quite a lot of irritation, but never to that extent.
"Oh, where was Aye-" continued Mosseau before he suddenly, out of nowhere, started slamming his skeletal fists on the table in a fit of rage, startling Bowser in the process. His other colleagues, however, were not surprised with the action at all, knowing him for quite a while.
"And off he goes." George performed a gesture that resembled rolling with one's eyes.
"MOSSEAU! STOP DOING THAT RIGHT NOW!" commanded Bowser as he pointed directly at him.
"OH FUCK OFF, YE LUCKY BASTARD! YER MANAGED TO GET A PROPER BATTLE!" exploded Mosseau, stopping with slamming just so he could lash out. It seemed like his repressed battle thirst finally leaked out a bit.
"Mosseau, if you do not cease, you will not get Rakija!" warned Brane as he raised his finger as an additional warning.
"FUCK!" Mosseau calmed down as quickly as he threw a shit fit. "Ye got me there."
"I told you already, Mosseau, you will get a battle. Just that we need to get a proper island and then maybe someone who will oppose us!" cautioned Bowser while still keeping his promise. He wasn't exactly opposed to the idea of having a solid opponent, even if it meant scoring a decisive victory over them.
"Me patience is on thin ice, Bows!" threatened Mosseau as he brought up his chainsaw as a part of the threat.
"Then place your patience on thick ice instead!" retaliated Bowser, but then he reminded himself of something that he really wanted to address. "But for now, as I said about proper islands, there is an issue we need to discuss."
"Oh, that's new. Bowsy boy's bringin' somethin' good to the table." noted George, who was quite interested in what would his boss, known for not the most thought provoking things, say at that moment.
"Okay, so hear me out: That talk about pesky logistics reminded me that we also have a problem with ammo! While we do pack quite a punch, not only are we still years behind many navies around the world, but we also don't really have much in terms of supplying ourselves! I'm thinking about establishing ammunition factories once we get proper islands, but does anyone have additional suggestions?" Bowser explained their situation, taking some notes from one of the previous talks.
"Establish trade with countries ASAP. This would give us not only proper supplies, but also decent relations with them as well." suggested Mad John almost immediately.
"That is a good point, but with who would be a decent trade partner?" asked Bowser, scratching his chin while he brainstormed a few of potential partners. Closer the trader partners were to the hypothetical "proper" island, the better for them.
"Don't you see? The answer is quite easy: Croatia!" Brane confidently raised his finger up in the air, fully believing that his answer was decisive and concrete. Upon hearing it, Bowser thought about the potential of Croatia being their trade partner, but he found a potential obstacle.
"...Ain't that too far, though?" doubted Bowser while considering the distance between their current position and the birthplace of Kornjača.
"Is this a genuine answer or are you just bein' homesick?" sassed George, turning toward his chef colleague with a mischievous grin.
"Fifty-fifty. Real talk though, we are already on the good with Croatia, thanks to establishment of Kornjača! That could give us a boost!" asserted Brane with a confident smile. It was true that he was missing the lovely feel of his home, but being around his colleagues and cooking for them helped him curb down homesickness of his.
"Hmmm….still though, ain't that too far? Don't you think it would take a long time for ships to arri-" further argumented Bowser, only to be hit by one simple realization: he has completely neglected the possibility of air travel. "Oh...I forgot. Planes."
"So that means that our islands must have runways for them!" quickly announced Bowser as he raised his fist in the air.
"While that would be quite beneficial, we don't even have planes on our own. How are we going to obtain them, mate?" questioned Mad John, partially due being used to traveling so much with ships on their journey. However, he was quite welcome to the idea of air travel due to being one of his favorite ways to travel.
"Easy, smuggle them. Spares us the money." suggested George with zero hesitation.
"I don't think I would call stealing an aircraft easy. I can see with a Cessna, but with something like an airliner or especially military aircraft, it would be quite a troublesome process." disputed Mad John.
"How about just buying them? We have the money." interrupted Brane with a more legally appropriate suggestion.
"That would be a more practical option. With the current income, we could snatch some Cessnas or something similar." concurred Mad John as he nodded as well.
"Awesome! I don't know what this Cessna thing is, but just the concept of having some air travel in our arsenal. However, I have a question: are there any planes that can land on the water? I think they would be quite helpful on our CONQUEST!" approved Bowser before he gave out a question for them.
"You mean seaplanes? Flying boats and floatplanes?" clarified Mad John, saying the very first thing that popped in his mind.
"Yes, exactly that!" concurred Bowser, but then he quickly thought about something that felt rather odd about the term flying boat. "Wait, aren't flying boats just airships?"
"And then you dunk on my designs." Bowser squinted at Mosseau, expressing annoyance for every time Mosseau has made fun out of his military equipment. Each of them had rather conflicting standards about such topic.
"Bowser, there is a great difference between designing an aircraft with a hull and smacking a giant bloody propeller on a galleon." clarified Mosseau in a tone that would both serious and mocking at the same time while he made some gestures resembling the key differences between a flying boat and Bowser's idea of airships.
"Hmmpf….Crud." Deep down, as much as he didn't like it, Bowser admitted to himself that Mosseau was actually pretty right about.
"Yea, we have a couple of them." said Mad John casually.
"Excellent! We have to get some seaplanes...somehow!" cheered Bowser as he raised his arms up in the air from excitement. "Now then, that should be all for now. What shall we do now aside from continuing our conquest?"
"I know exactly what we could do right now!" Brane got an idea that appeared in a flash. "Anyone want some čevapi?"
"Sign me up, mate!" approved Mad John as he slapped his knee.
"Of course! Bring me čevapi!" agreed Bowser as well. Unlike the taste of fish, he was more than welcome to try out čevapi again.
"I haven't tried them out in a while, so why not?" said George.
"Make sure to bring me Rakija as well, me lad!" demanded Mosseau, shaking his fist.
"Super! I shall go and make čevapi!" announced Brane before he went to the kitchen to prepare the desired dish. As soon as he entered the kitchen, he poured some sunflower oil on the frying pan before he heated it up. After some time, he threw some raw čevapi in it and started frying them. When one side of a meat dumpling got fried enough, he turned them. Once all of čevapi got finished, he placed them on a plate and left the kitchen, but not before taking a bottle of rakija with him. Opening up the doors, Brane revealed himself to his gang with great amount of grandiose.
"Evo ga! Čevapi so tu!" proudly announced Brane as he put the plate with čevapi on the table. He also gave Mosseau the exact drink he wanted. The gang, along with the Croatian chef, started eating the definitive meat of Balkan cuisine.
"Delicious as always!" praised Bowser as he gave him a fist bump of approval.
"That's the stuff, mate." complimented Mad John, munching the čevapi with glee.
"Yea, it's pretty good." simply commented George.
"Ooooh, laddeh! This is what Aye needed!" cheered Mosseau as he started chugging rakija while he ate čevapi.
"Thank you, thank you! It's always welcome to hear the satisfaction of customers!" thanked Brane as he bowed like an accomplished chef he was. Suddenly, a fellow skeleton barged in the room as he gained attention from everyone in it.
"Eyy, boys! You gotta see this" invited skeleton with binoculars to see something.
"What is it? Is it something important?" Bowser raised his eyebrow in interest.
"I wouldn't call you if it wasn't. Now, come and see!" added skeleton with binoculars before the top brass of Skeleton Mafia followed him on the deck. He pointed at the seemingly larger than before island on the horizon. There was a hill in the middle of the island, standing out from the flat surfaces of it. However, judging from their view, the island lacked any sort of typical tropical environment, compared to the very first island they have taken over. There were very few tropical trees there, instead being more reminiscent of environments seen in the Mediterranean sea.
"Hah, island! Just what we needed! It looks bigger than those two as well!" boastfully commented Bowser at the sight of the island. He put his arms around his stomach like a conquest hungry explorer, awaiting the opportunity to seize.
"A bit convenient, innit?" jokingly noted George.
"Well, it depends on what does this island offer to us." said Mad John, taking notes from take overs of previous islands.
"Skeleton with binoculars, inspect the island!" ordered Bowser, to which the bone minion did as quickly as he was told.
"Hmmm….I see a port." reported skeleton with binoculars after seeing a gathering of houses, which had stone walls along with dark brown bricked roofs on them, from a considerable distance.
"An already built port? AWESOME!" Bowser pumped his fist out of joy.
"And it has four ships…" noticed skeleton with binoculars when he saw four wooden ships with four large masts, each of them holding a decent amount of sails on them. Seen vessels also had "beaks" in the front with a bowsprit added on them. They also had some flags on top of the sails, but due the distance, they weren't recognized at that moment. "Hey Brane, right?"
"What do you need, my friend?" asked Brane, stepping in the need.
"You're the vessel man, right?" skeleton with binoculars pointed at the ships.
"Of course! Gimme the binoculars for a little bit, as I will identify ships for you!" said Brane before he looked through the given item. Upon seeing the ships, he immediately knew what type they were. "I see….we have four galleons docked right there and it seems like there's also a town there."
"Galleons? Hah, those should be easy to deal with if they attack us! I've dealt with them plenty of times" smirked Bowser, but at the same time he was kind of surprised that he would encounter such a ship in this world, considering what he saw back in the Red sea. However, hearing that of vessel also raised Mosseau's interest, but he looked at them with a suspecting glance.
"Hold up there, me lad. Let me check something." interrupted Mosseau before he tore the binoculars from skeleton's hands as he checked the faraway vessels by himself. His suspicions were lowered when he recognized the decorations of the vessels. Flags were still not recognized by anyone because of the distance.
"Crisis averted. They seem to belong to navy." reported Mosseau in a chill tone as he returned the binoculars to the skeleton. The skeleton himself was not amused with his binoculars being taken away from him in such Mosseau-ish fashion.
"It was about pirates, wasn't it?" assumed Bowser, squinting at Mosseau from the lack of surprise.
"...Aye." confirmed Mosseau in a similar tone as one storyteller would tell a "scary" story.
"How surprising." jeered George. Bowser, on other hand, had no comment about his "mild" opinion on pirates.
"Say, did you manage to identify the origin of the galleons?" asked Mad John, raising his finger to gain attention of others.
"Aye don't know, Aye haven't seen the flags." answered Mosseau before he snatched the binoculars from that skeleton again. "Lemme check again, lads."
"Hey!" shouted skeleton without binoculars as he spread his arms around in frustration. As ships of Skeleton Mafia got closer to the island, Mosseau got the chance to identify the flags. The vessels of an unknown allegiance had flags with two red crosses bordered by white lines on a blue background.
"Oh, it's the double crossing, tea snorting, shite at food preparing, arse shoving-" Mosseau started fuming immediately on the sight of Union Jack. Bowser was initially confused on what was Mosseau mumbling about while John and Brane immediately knew what set him off. George, on other hand, was curious about what was he raging at again.
"Yes yes, Mosseau, you can describe them however you want, but that doesn't still tell me FROM WHERE ARE THEY!" condemned Bowser, raising his voice only to get proper answers from him.
"The British." concisely explained Sniper Mad John, knowing from experience and also being one of the three members of Skeleton Mafia that has their origins traced to Anglosphere.
"Of course it was the British." Somehow, George expected that to be a reason.
"Oh...should be cautious about them or...?" asked Bowser, just to be sure. Considering that he had unknowingly interacted with NATO members before, he thought asking first would be a better option than panicking or laughing at it.
"On one hand, they're a NATO member after all and their special forces on their own are finest in the world. They still possess a considerable military capability and there were times when they would deploy their troops thousands of miles away, such as what happened in the 80's." started explaining Mad John.
"...Crud." Just hearing the accursed acronym of an international military alliance made Bowser know with what kind of force were they dealing with.
"On other hand…" continued Mad John before he bursted into wheezing, which transformed into a laugh.
"What's so funny?" startled by his laugh, Bowser raised his eyebrow.
"The hubris of Englishmen, that's what! If it was up to Scots, we'd be still screaming "Rule Britannia" or something. I'd prefer "Rule Scotland" anyway." butted in Mosseau, so that he would get a proper excuse to rant about his fellow countrymen, although he separated Scots from the Englishmen. Bowser chose to not ask Mosseau further, instead opted to hearing what John would say.
"Tell me about these British, Mad John. Who are they?" further asked Bowser, genuinely curious about the nation that defined history through out a century.
"Well, they used to have the biggest empire in the world and their navy used to be the strongest." started John, doing his part in providing explanations to his boss.
"Even bigger than Alexander the Great?" interrupted Bowser just for a bit to confirm something.
"For comparison, Alexander's empire covered around 4% of the world. The British empire had about 26% of the world in possession." continued Mad John with a fact that blew Bowser's mind. To him, for all the talk that how difficult it was to control a large amount of territory, let alone taking over the world, the fact that there was a time where it was possible seemed incredibly impressive to him. However, he quickly regained composure, reminding himself that empire was no more in the present.
"Just to be sure, when were they an empire and what is their current status now?" further asked Bowser as he assumed that something major happened in the interval of their peak and current time.
"Their empire had their beginnings around the last years of 15th century and gradually started collapsing in the second half of the 20th century. I believe they were at the peak of their power in 1920. However, now they own just few island, contrary to the large colonies in the past." Mad John continued with his exposition, confirming Bowser's suspicion.
"Let me guess: it collapsed because they kept mistreating other people in their colonies, which gave them enough fuel for people to rebel against them and declare independence from them. That, and because it grew too big to sustain itself." Bowser said his suspicion out loud, surprising nearly everyone around him.
"...Yea, those are two of the many reasons why it collapses." agreed Mad John, but the surprise hasn't worn off.
"Why act so surprised? I know the basics of ruling." squinted Bowser after he shared something that he thought was obvious from the get-go.
"Oh, I apologize, but I'm more used to explaining stuff to you, mate." elaborated John, potentially feeling that he has indirectly insulted his boss' intelligence.
"I mean, I am a conqueror, but at the very least I take care of people from occupied territories." said Bowser to prove that he has some level of standards.
"….You're a villain?" asked Brane out of a genuine surprise. Everyone else was, once again, also surprised.
"OF COURSE I AM AND I TAKE PRIDE IN IT!" Bowser, being Bowser, boasted about his status of villainy, much to no one's surprise that time.
"Bows, me lad, let me tell ya something: Everyone is a bastard in this world, just some are better at hiding or denying it." Mosseau gave him a grim reminder about the world, however the Scot himself was relishing in that fact since he considered himself to be a bastard.
"Great! If everyone is a dastard, then this world is perfect for me!" laughed Bowser, feeling great that finally there was something that could benefit him in the world that he was officially not part of.
"...Ye know ye can swear, right? Nothing is preventing ye to." reminded Mosseau, annoyed by his boss' hesitation with using swears.
"I know, but I have MANNERS! Even as a villain, you must have them" Bowser provided an argument for his less than colorful vocabulary for insults.
"Oh, fuck off with that shite…" quietly grumbled Mosseau before he took a quench of rakija.
"Wait a minute, momci. Doesn't it seem suspicious that despite seemingly being a British territory, there's only four galleons? Wouldn't it make more sense that they would bring something more modern with it?" pointed out Brane in the middle of
"Something like Burke?" Bowser brought up a memory from that time when they were face to face with that destroyer. It was not uncommon for him to have thoughts about the vessel that belonged to a superpower.
"Yeah, something like that. I, along with skeleton with binoculars and Mosseau, haven't seen anyone on the island." confirmed Brane.
"Hmmm….we shall discuss further plans when we arrive there. But for now, I must set the direction to the island." said Bowser before he went inside the bridge, where he found Scrongus and Krongus doing their jobs. They were oddly quiet and dedicated to their task, instead of their usual debacles about insignificant topics.
"You two! We shall go for the island! Understood?!" ordered Bowser as he pointed at them. They carried out their order without any complaining (or any word for the matter) before Bowser returned to the deck with his colleagues. Three ships of Skeleton Mafia set direction to the island with galleons as they slowly but surely crossed the waves to reach their destination.
Upon arriving to the island, they have docked their ships in the port, occupying spots that weren't already taken by the British galleons. Once they anchored their ships there, Bowser and his gang jumped off the deck, landing on a stone paved path. They got a good look at plenty of houses, built out of bricks, which had wooden roofs. The color of the walls was rather worn out, only being a pale shadow of their former selves. Similarly sized buildings were tough to distinguish from one to another if one were looking from a distance. Near the port were also giant poles, where the flags were placed. Aside from a washed out Union Jack, there was also a poorly maintained Dutch flag, both of them miserably hanging from the poles. Before they ventured to the town, they gathered around the ships to discuss their plans about the islands.
"Scouts, come over here!" called out Bowser, inviting his minions over. Knowing who they were, Thompson gun armed skeletons jumped off the deck to join in, being prepared to do whatever task Bowser would lay upon them.
"So, here is our plan: we will investigate this town while you will take care of the rest!" announced Bowser as he pointed at the directions away from town.
"Roger that, boss." nodded skeletal scouts before they went on their recon mission, walking away from the group. As the skeletal scouts proceeded with their task, the gang's attention turned towards the seemingly antique looking town.
"Alright then, lets see what this crustville is all about." said Bowser before they went exploring the town. Walking on the stone paved surface, they looked around, observing the old looking buildings. Bar them, not a single trace of any other life was found as they were only met by desolation and silence.
"This silence is familiar and I don't like it." noted Bowser, remembering what happened on Crete. Others shared a similar sentiment as him as they were on high alert in case of any intrusions. As they went on their way, Mosseau noticed a bar. There was a sign hanging above the doors, which said "Drunken Debauchery". Thankfully, it wasn't name "Ye Olde something" or else the Scottish lad would have lost it. Without even notifying everyone around him, he sneaked inside the bar to get some of the beverages, only to find out that the only resident inside the darkened pub was dust. All the bottles in the bar were filled with air.
"Bloody hell, where's the beer? What kind of shite pub is this?!" raged Mosseau before he sodded off from the bar, quickly returning to his group. They haven't even noticed that he went away for a bit.
As they ventured forth, they found themselves at the place that once was a market. The sheer bareness of the market gave the gang a rather uncanny feelings, as if someone was watching them. Each of them had their own fighting stance ready, just in case any similar incidents from the past would happen. Suddenly, they heard a noise coming at them.
"Wait, someone is coming!" warned Mad John as everyone prepared their fighting stance. Bowser and Brane raised their fists while George and John were holding their guns in their pockets. Meanwhile, Mosseau revved up his chainsaw. Once the source of noise revealed itself, it turned out be a squawking seagull, which was just minding his own business. If it wasn't for the split second where George let off from the trigger, the seagull would have been shot.
"Oh, nevermind, mates." calmly said Mad John before they continued their journey uninterrupted. After exploring the market, Bowser and his colleagues decided to return to the port, only to check the galleons. Once they returned, they decided to go on only one of the galleons, since, at least externally speaking, four galleons had a similar but washed out decoration that didn't exactly help distinguishing between them. They stopped at the one that was nearest to them.
"Huh, these aren't so different from the ones I have in my world." Bowser observed a galleon in front of him with a smirk. Despite all of them being larger than any vessel they owned, they completely lacked the presence that Arleigh Burke class destroyer had. It was looking at the relics of the past rather than the vessels themselves posing an actual threat. Without much hesitation, Bowser and his colleagues boarded the intended galleon. Once all of them got on it, they gathered beneath the sails to observe. Out of all things on the island, it seemed like the ships that once belonged to the Royal Navy were oddly in best condition.
"Say, Bowser, have you ever had a naval campaign on your own? During my service in the Yugoslav Navy, I was on a Kotor-class frigate, but most of my duties were just patrolling around the coasts." asked Brane out of sudden. He always wondered about it ever since he saw boss' capability to deal with vessels.
"Gwahahaha, yes! I've had plenty of those! There is one that I particularly fondly remember. I think Mosseau is gonna like this once, since it involves pirates." gladly answered Bowser, pumping his fists when he turned towards Mosseau.
"Oooh, laddeh! Did ye beat the fuck out of them?" happily asked Mosseau, wanting to hear how exactly did Bowser beat up pirates in his own world, even if it was only to compare to how he did it multiple times.
"Of course! Now, listen very closely…" began Bowser with his story as his colleagues listened closely.
Way before Bowser even considered going to the other world, his own navy was committed to policing the seas of Mushroom Kingdom. For some reason, despite being the largest administrative power in Bowser's world, Mushroom Kingdom lacked any sort of proper military for both defensive purposes and to secure any interests of Princess Peach (which is debatable if she had any aside from maintaining her own kingdom and having constant tea parties). It was especially apparent in the seas, where piracy ran rampant.
It was Saturday that day, one out of six days that it was not mandatory for Bowser to kidnap Princess Peach. He directly commanded a fleet of five galleons, armed with plethora of conventional cannons among with weapon that Bowser himself dubbed "Bullet Bill Blaster", a specialized black cannon with a skull painted on its sides, which was capable of firing Bullet Bills. The ships themselves had decoration of large Bowser's head on their beaks while there were flags of Bowser's Kingdom (with Bowser's face on them) waving on top of sails. The crew he commanded consisted of Koopa Troopas, Goombas, both of them in charge of general tasks on ships, Bob ombs, who maintained and operated weaponry (not exactly Bowser's safest idea, probably) and Shy Guys, who took care of navigation and situational awareness. They cruised through the calm seven seas as Bowser was posing on the deck like a power hungry explorer.
"Gwahahahaha! We will show those pirates who's boss!" boasted Bowser as he pumped his fist towards the sun, just to flex on it. As they cruised, one of the Shy Guys observed the surroundings with his telescope. Not much time passed when said Shy Guy spotted a fleet of three pirate galleons, waving typical Jolly Roger flags. He immediately ran to his boss, out of pure instinct.
"Your majesty, we have a contact. A fleet of pirate galleons closing it, bearing 315!" reported the Shy Guy with a telescope as he pointed northwest of their direction.
"HAHAHA! PERFECT! We shall intercept them, then once we reach the proper range, we will strike!" boastfully ordered Bowser with a grin of his face. His word spread through out the entire fleet. Shy Guys on each ship helped with navigation with the help of flags while Bob ombs loaded up cannons with the help of Koopas and Goombas. Two ships departed from Bowser's formation in order to flank the adversary vessels. The pirate fleet from a distance remained in formation, waiting for opportunity to strike.
Once both formations got close enough to the pirate fleet, Bowser grinned with confidence, knowing exactly what to do next.
"FIRE!"
All of Bowser's ships fired all of their cannons at the same time, leaving a thunderous roar through out the seven seas. First few shots splashed in water, but few shots from both main fleet and flank managed to strike down one of the pirate galleons. Cannonballs demolished the hull so much that the whole galleon started sinking. Pirates on the sinking galleon jumped off from it, seeking help from other ships.
"Hah! We got one!" taunted Bowser, but not long after his attack, pirates returned fire. Just like it happened with Bowser's shots, first ones missed. However, some of the cannonballs managed to hit the hull of one of galleons of Bowser's Kingdom, piercing right through the wooden hull. A chain reaction of explosions engulfed the struck ship as its crew desperately threw themselves in the water.
"One of our ships is out!" reported Shy Guy in complete shock by the sequence of events.
"Crud!" shouted Bowser, also shocked by explosion, but he quickly regained composure. He couldn't lose sight on obliterating them pirates. "KEEP FIRING!"
The sound of cannons echoed through out the seas once again, but unlike the first strike, each cannon was fired at their own pace. Sea itself was bombarded with missed cannonballs. Pirates also fired their own guns at Bowser's fleet, with cannonballs going all over the place. One of cannonballs fired from Bowser's very own ship managed to take down a mainmast from one of them. It was sight to see all the rope, all the sails from mainmast tear apart as it fell down, blocking the view from cannons on their side. Few other shots from both main fleet and flank ensured that the pirate galleon with a destroyed mainmast met the same fate as its vessel in arms.
"Other one is down!" reported Goomba with glee as he watched adversaries of his kingdom fall. Amid the exchange of cannonballs between Bowser's fleet and pirates, Bowser noticed that the remaining ship had a crusty bearded person with a noticeable hat. Said person also wore an extravagant red coat. Just from the clothing alone, Bowser assumed that he was the leader of the pirates.
"Troops, keep that ship afloat! I'll personally deal with the captain. As of now, rest of our fleet can keep distance from it!" suddenly ordered Bowser before he dashed off inside the ship. After finding the nearest room with a cannon, Bowser barged in. The crew stationed there saluted him the moment he appeared.
"I will board that ship by myself! That captain is gonna get some real whooping now!" declared Bowser in front of them.
"But sir, how are you going to board their ship?" asked Bob omb.
"Watch and learn!" grinned Bowser before he hid himself in his own shell. His minions lifted him and squeezed him inside the cannon. Bob ombs adjusted the angle of the cannon, just so that the hit would be completely guaranteed. With all preparations done, cannon was prepared. Only thing they needed was the order to execute the strike.
"FIRE!"
With just one word, the crew ignited the fuse on the cannon. After the entire fuse burned down, the cannon fired Bowser right at the pirate captain's ship. Traversing at the speeds of a cannonball, crashed right into the foremast, knocking it down in a similar fashion as the mainmast of the other ship went down. Bowser stood up from the impact zone, looking right at the pirate captain and his crew. Pirates around him pulled out their sabres and started angrily running towards him, preparing to strike him down with their weapons.
"GWAHAHAHA!" laughed Bowser before he spat out long streams of fire, completely demoralizing adversary pirates around him as they even jumped off the ship to avoid flames of Bowser's fury. However, pirate captain remained on the burning ship, glaring directly into Bowser's eyes. He clenched his teeth before he sprinted towards Bowser with his sabre. Just before he was about to cut him down, Bowser grabbed the sabre by its edge. Smugly grinning at the pirate captain, he broke the sabre in front of his eyes like a toothpick. Then, he grabbed the startled captain by his neck, lifting him
"Argh! I won't let you defeat me, for I am destined to rule the seven seas!" pirate captain showed his last moments of defiance against the turtle king.
"Oh, don't worry, you will get to rule the seven seas…" chuckled Bowser just before he threw the captain off from his ship as the final nail to the ocean coffin. "...just that your residence will be UNDERWATER!"
Bowser remained on the burning galleon as he watched other two pirate ships sink, waiting for his navy to pick him up, but not before he let out an uproarious triumphant laugh.
"GWAHAHAHAHAHHAHA-"
"-HAHAHAHahahaha! It was just great! Now what do you think?" concluded Bowser with a hearty laugh. Brane and John seemed amused by his story, while George had a neutral stance on it. Meanwhile, on a certain other one's behalf...
"Ye were too kind with pirates!" complained Mosseau as he slapped his trash can for some reason.
"Bah! You consider beating them up to be TOO KIND?!" grumbled Bowser, being completely disappointed by lack of enthusiasm from the pirate hating Scot.
"Aye! Wanna hear how Aye did it with those scurvy giving twats?" bragged Mosseau, preparing his claymore just to show off.
"...Later." declined Bowser, not being prepared to hear one of Mosseau's stories after his own. Not that anyone is prepared for Mosseau's tales.
"Now, hold on there, mate. Something doesn't add up." pointed out Mad John as he raised his finger.
"John, if it's about logic in my world, I already gave you an answer: it's wizardy." reminded Bowser, crossing his arms in the process.
"No, it's not that. It's just that one implication must be addressed." elaborated John.
"Then what is it?" Bowser raised his eyebrow.
"You've said that Mushroom Kingdom, at least territory lead by Princess Peach, has no proper military, right?" asked John as if he was interrogating him in a friendly way.
"...Yes?" Bowser raised his eyebrow once again.
"...Then what is preventing you from just annexing the entire thing?" genuine frustration came out of Mad John's mouth.
"Have you forgotten? Mario and Luigi!" sighed Bowser, hating the fact he had to mention the names of his number one enemies in front of them.
"How do these two guys completely prevent you, the one that actually has an army in your world, from taking over? Are those two plumbers also highly skilled mercenaries or something?" continued Mad John with his confusion. He just thought that a recognized country with no military to defend itself somehow calmly existing was an absurd concept, possibly due to his own history with warfare.
"Mercenaries? Them?! What?! Are you ridiculous?! They're too much of goody two shoes to do any dirty work. But to answer your question, I actually do conquer Mushroom Kingdom a lot of times, just that they always free it from my control. It can get real annoying, I say!" spluttered Bowser before he continued grumbling about them pesky plumbers.
"Kill em." suddenly and nonchalantly blurted out Mosseau. He was even grinning when he offered him such advice.
"WHA?!" Bowser's irises shrunk after being completely startled by Mosseau's suggestion.
"I fail to see where he's wrong, pal. If one's consistently crossin' your ways, it's best to get rid of them." agreed George, speaking from his experience as a gangster.
"….It's complicated. Anyway, we should now investigate this ship!" Bowser changed the topic as they went inside the galleon. Just after going inside, they split in order to cover as much area as possible. With each step they took, the wood creaked.
After some exploring, Bowser found captain's room. Barely lit by the outside light, it had a huge world map, which showed borders of the past, plastered on the wall. On the desk, there was a globe and a sextant placed on it. However, one item caught Bowser's interest.
"Hmmm...what do we have here…" thought Bowser as he reached out for a crusty looking book. He wiped off some dust from it to see what was it about.
"History of Royal Auxiliary Isle? That could be useful, but what kind of name for an island is that?!" Bowser read out the title out loud before he gently opened the book and started reading it.
"Royal Auxiliary Isle was first settled by British merchants on 25th of February, 1825. It served as a station for British merchants to stop by and supply themselves while they were on their way to India and similar countries…."
He then turned a page.
"….Even though British merchants have managed to construct a town in short amount of time, it wasn't long when the tensions with the rival powers flared up. First such tension appeared in 1830, when the British merchants battled Dutch merchants over the control of the isle. It required both forces to call in their navies, although Royal Navy ultimately won the battle….
"….One notable incident that happened through out Royal Auxiliary Isle's blossoming was when the island got invaded by various pirates. They were quickly dealt with, thanks to Royal Navy's assistance…."
"Oh, Mosseau would definitely not like that part…" Bowser immediately thought of a rage fit if that Scot were there.
"….After prosperous years, another battle between British Empire and Dutch Empire happened on the island in the year 1845, which was much fiercer and costly than the battle in 1830. The conflict ended with Raamsdonksveer Treaty, where the island was split into two. One part of the isle was controlled by the British Empire, while other was under Dutch reign…."
"Whatsdonkswhere?" questioned Bowser, baffled by the Dutch language.
"….However, Royal Auxiliary Isle's days came to a sudden end when the entire populace of the isle left it en masse in year 1899, due various conflicting reasons. Some of the inhabitant's testimonies cited that the vessels got attacked by unknown forces, while other specify natural causes for the instability. No one knows the true answer to anomalies that happened on the isle..."
"...Huh...I think I know who might be behind this, but I've already got enough answers for now. I'll read this book fully later." concluded Bowser as he took the book with him. He left the dusty captain's room, returning to his colleagues.
"So, gentlemen. Have you found anything?" asked Bowser.
"Surprisingly, plenty of cannonballs and powder kegs. Cannons are also there and seem to be functional." reported George, resting his arm on one of the powder kegs he brought out of the ship.
"A rather simple kitchen! Even our stuff is more advanced!" praised Brane, just by the fact he could make some Balkan cuisine even on a galleon.
"Flintlocks and muskets. Aye wouldn't recommend them, to be honest. Them reload times are arse, we're better off with Tommies. Also sabres for close range combat." Mosseau revealed all the weapons he stole from the galleon.
"I saw some barrels. Wanna know a funny thing, mate? It's all in good shape." pointed out Mad John.
"Gwahahaha, excellent! Now, hear me out! I've found that this island's been abandoned! We can take over it! It's also called Royal Auxiliary Isle and used to be quite active in the past." reported Bowser on his behalf as he showed them the book he found.
"Typical name that these tea addicted wankers give." grumbled Mosseau at the mere Britishness of it.
"Hold on, Brits just leaving an island like that? I'm pretty sure that this one of British Overseas Territories." questioned Mad John, just in case.
"Lets see what will they send after us if they found out." wondered George out of sheer morbid curiosity. "If they don't, we pretty much hit a jackpot."
"Hmmm….it would be a good idea to wait before we can safely declare that this island is ours. We are going to stay on the island on caution for a day or two before we can own it and then rebuild it. Also, scouts have yet to report the situation!" said Bowser before all of them left the galleon for that day, returning to explore the town a bit more. They have decided to spend the rest of the day and following night on the island, just to see what would happen. Whether United Kingdom would send their navy on their rears or something supernatural would happen was left uncertain.
Meanwhile in Dubai, where the police owned Lamborghinis, was a normal sunny day. Various skyscrapers, including the famous and overly tall Burj Khalif, shined in the basking sunlight. There were few artificial islands, two notable ones being a palm shaped island and an Earth shaped one, around the coast, accompanied by the sail shaped Burj Al Arab building. Turquoise colored water surrounded some of the skyscrapers as it continued into few rivers. In the city, both inhabitants and tourists were doing their daily things, just minding their own business.
On one of the floors of the glamorous Burj Al Arab hotel, there was an entire hotel room covered in gold. So much gold that it was even more than it was considered standard. Accompanied by a giant ultra high resolution television, the room also had the most luxurious golden colored (and plated) furniture inside. The doors of the room opened as the tycoon from Osaka by the name of Kaneo Takarada proudly strutted inside, smugly grinning to himself.
"Have fun with the yacht all you want for now, Bowsy boi, but I am coming for your ass and I'm gonna beat the hell out of it!" boasted Kaneo Takarada before he closed the doors. He rubbed his hands like someone who had a master plan in his mind. "And I know exactly how am I gonna hit a bullseye!"
Suddenly, someone was knocking on his door. Surprised by knocks, he opened up, only to see a stout mustached man dressed like a superhero on a budget.
"Greetings, a fellow rich man." Superhik bowed down like a gentleman meeting a celebrity.
"The fuck are you?" sneered Takarada at the sight of Superhik. However, he let him inside out of morbid curiosity and perhaps a chance to use him for his own means.
"Oh, I am Superhik, saint patron of the wealthy. Now please, accept this sixty cents that I stole from a beggar as a gift." introduced Superhik before he gave him the exact amount of coins as he said.
"WTF, MAN?! That's not how it works, dumbass! You were supposed to bribe the general populace with dosh, not take away it from them! That shit makes you a dead man, man!" denounced Takarada before throwing sixty cents directly at him out of anger.
"I humbly apologize. It's a tradition of mine. Anyway, I have sensed that you are in peril, mister." apologized Superhik before he returned to the topic of his intention.
"Some lizard fucko stole my boat and Imma gonna exact sweet revenge on him!" revealed Takarada. Although the words might have sounded angry on surface, he said it in such a way that it came of as arrogant and prideful.
"A lizard? I haven't seen any lizards around, but last time, two skeletons and two men gave me a whooping, so I am also seeking revenge!" Supehik shook his fist in anger, remembering what happened on Cyprus. By that reveal, Kaneo Takarada realized something that could be useful for him.
"Eyy, that turtle boye also had skeletons with guns among his ranks. Is that the same fucker we are looking for?" asked Takarada, revealing his golden teeth when he grinned.
"What the?! The reptilian is the leader of skeletons?! Argh, curse him!" fumed Superhik
"So, Superhik my man, wanna team up? Ya gonna get some fat bucks if you join me beating the fuck out of his scaly ass!" offered Takarada as he pulled out some fat Osakan bucks out of his pockets.
"Of course, my liege! I will do everything to help the rich! Now, what is my task?" agreed Superhik almost immediately, thanks to being blinded by the amount of money the tycoon offered him. It was enough to make Takarada satisfied with his decision.
"Wait just a lil. I have yet to execute stage one of our plan, G, but it shall come soon! Very soon, in fact!" said Takarada before he pulled out a golden phone out of his pocket. After typing out the desired phone number, he put the phone near his ear. He had a huge, confident yet malicious grin on his face as he waited for the response. Whoever he was calling, it meant only one thing: someone was out for Bowser's blood after all. Just that someone might not have been who he would have expected.
