I tapped my finger rhythmically against my knee, ideas about the coming delve into the metaverse bouncing around my head. The book 'The Mind's Eye' had, perhaps unsurprisingly, very little to do with sight. In fact, it was actually a fictional story regarding a child's disturbingly realistic dreams about the world he lives in.
At first, I simply read through it with the intent to kill some time before sleeping. As I read more and more, however, I began to realize that the book was a poorly disguised allegory for the metaverse. With each chapter covering a different aspect of the child's dreams, and each one offering advice on how to approach the metaverse and it's denizens. In time, the child learns to overcome the dreams, they disappear, and he lives the rest of his life in relative happiness, with an epilogue about him living as a well-adjusted and happy adult.
The book was written by one Ren Kurusu, a pen name as far as I could tell. My curiosity had been piqued, but after a quick search through the internet, the man seemed to have only written the one book and had no other presence. The book released to middling reviews, most quoting that it was too obtuse and metaphorical, and that the ending was unearned and rushed.
"That's because you're missing the point." I muttered to myself as I scrolled through them.
With a sigh, I exited the page and walked out of my room with a purpose. Most of the things mentioned in the book had little meaning to me at this point. As far as how I recognized it was referring to the metaverse at all was, among other things, a detail regarding how the dreams operated in the book.
'The dream is defined by the perception of it's observers.'
It was, in short, the very same thing Koda had expressed to me before. There was more that contributed to my hunch of course, but mostly, that's all it was - a hunch. I was going to refrain from entirely relying on it's advice entirely until I had more proof, but that specific line gave me pause.
To me, this meant things in the real world that seem fake may very well take on a life of their own in the metaverse. Of course, that's as long as you can effectively trick observers (whoever that may be) into believing it's real. That, seemingly, gives it power.
"You mentioned earlier that you've travelled using the metaverse. How do we get inside?" I asked as we were leaving the house.
"Well, that's the thing. There are some common spots that the metaverse tends to connect with the physical world, but, they can and do shift in ways that are hard to predict.
Fortunately for you, I am entirely capable of doing so." She cawed loudly, "I consider it a skill."
I looked at her reproachfully, but otherwise made no comment on her boastful statement. "Alright then, lead the way."
"Entrances to the metaverse tend to be in crowded places, ones with with high amounts of emotions. So, we'll look for our way in at the mall."
The journey to the mall was rather uneventful, yet the excitement seemed to be rolling off of Koda as I rode my bike to our destination. Despite her obvious anticipation for the visit, I found myself slightly on edge. Something was rubbing me wrong, something I couldn't quite place. As Koda tried (and failed) to contain herself, I found myself being slightly more observant than normal. That was why, when we found ourselves entering the mall, it was me who saw something slightly out of the ordinary.
It was a man, one in a black suit, who stood out in the crowd. It wasn't because he was particularly noticeable, however. In fact, he seemed to be entirely nondescript, wearing intelligent glasses that made him even more forgettable. It was, instead, his attentive gaze that caught my eye in return. As our eyes met, he comfortably acknowledged me and looked away with ease, as if I were never his focus. It was so smooth and with practiced calm that I doubted one of my 108 loner skills, the one that allowed me to know exactly when someone was pretending that I wasn't there at all.
I shook my head and continued into the mall, unsure of my own observation.
The underground mall was typical in it's construction and, just as Koda had anticipated, was full of all sorts of high energy people. There were families moving to and fro, groups of teenagers roaming, and a fair amount of people seemingly doing their shopping alone.
"Alright, where are we going?" I asked Koda.
"Just follow my directions."
As per her instruction, we walked from store to store. We went in and out of various, seemingly unrelated, places. From clothing and perfumes, to electronics and game stores. I had known from the beginning that Koda had some ulterior motives regarding our outing, but after some time, even my patience began to wane.
"Are we going to make it to the metaverse, or what?" I asked, managing only slightly to keep my annoyance on a leash.
"Alright, alright." She said. "You know, I expected something that humans talk about all the time to be more impressive. This place in general is a little mundane."
"You might as well get used to that." I advised. "If everyone's talking about it, it's probably not all that impressive."
She answered with a skeptical look.
"Alright, there are some notable exceptions." I reluctantly acquiesced, "Now, can we get going?"
"Sure." She said, seemingly content with her outing to the human world.
This time, she led us on a straight route to a nearby furniture store. Inside, we navigated to a section which housed a number of mirrors, and once there, even I was able to notice something was out of place.
One of the mirrors, though a little faint, contained the very same fog that I had been battling in my mind since the moment I saw it first. My fear of it had lessened since Koda's demonstration of her abilities, but damn it, that's not something you let go of easily.
"You can see it, huh?" She prompted.
"Yeah," I whispered as someone passed by, not even so much as acknowledging the unnerving sight. "Kinda crazy that no one else can."
"That's something you'll have to get used to." She said. "You know, acting like nothing is happening while all sorts of crazy things are going on. Otherwise you run the risk of being locked up in an asylum or something, or worse."
"Good point."
I approached the mirror with caution, looking in at it from different angles.
"So what's the plan?" I asked.
"Well that's up to you." She responded, displaying utter confidence in my judgment. "I can navigate us to the palace of that queen woman from earlier, from there you'll be calling the shots."
I thought for a second, considering what exactly I wanted out of the metaverse, and how I could achieve it. It wasn't long before I realized that I needed to establish the correlation between the Haruno in real life, and the Haruno that existed in the metaverse. That, I suspected, would be critical to understanding for myself exactly how it operated. And, hopefully, reveal to me why Haruno's behavior was so borderline psychotic at times.
"Alright, this is an information gathering mission." I began. "We need to figure out why Haruno's shadow approached me the way she did. An equally important objective here is seeing exactly how strong my Persona is, at least in comparison to weaker shadows."
Koda nodded in response, and we wasted no more time in beginning my second foray into the metaverse.
This time, as we approached the mirror in question, I found my emotions now in stark contrast to the feelings that had ruled my thoughts when I thought about the metaverse before. Instead of fear, I found an excitement bubbling up from my core. It was small sure, almost unnoticeable, and yet it was there all the same. Perhaps it was the anticipation from knowing that my perceivable reality was expanding, that it was growing to encompass an entirely new experience. But, on some deeper level, I knew that it was nothing so grandiose.
It was simply the knowledge that I was rebelling.
It was the feeling that I was climbing the mountain that I was told had no peak, the feeling that I was charting my own path, a path toward a goal of my own choosing and my own design. That, I felt, was worthy of some excitement.
I extended my hand toward the mirror.
My fingers, this time, reached forward to press against the glass. For a second I was met with resistance, but following that the glass became malleable. It seemed to melt beneath the pressure of my hand, and before long the all too familiar chill engulfed my arm. I took a deep breath and one last look around before I began pushing my entire body forward.
"Can you hear me?" Koda called out.
"Yeah." I responded.
"Same as before, just follow me."
My journey through the mind numbing fog that permeated the metaverse was much easier this time around. Assuming the Velvet Room occupied some corner of this seemingly endless 'other world,' I could be certain that my trips there had also played a role in making me more comfortable travelling in it. As such, it did not feel as if much time had passed before we reached the gates of Haruno's castle.
"Here we are." Koda did not quite whisper, but fear was evident in her voice besides.
"Alright," I said, picking up on her reservations. Whether it was fear of being hurt herself, or fear that she'd lose her one lifeline to discovering her true origins, I wasn't sure. "Do you think you'd be capable of scouting ahead for us? Not too far, just enough so that we know what we're getting into."
"Sure. I'm not one to get into fights with shadows, but staying out of sight? I got that."
"Let's get started, then. We need to find another way in."
We spent around twenty minutes circling the outskirts of the Castle, after which we found an open window. Cautiously, and less than gracefully, we climbed into the window and entered the castle.
Torches along the wall barely illuminated a dim room. The room itself was filled with dusty crates and a smell that assaulted the senses, but it also held an unlocked door leading further inside. That low burning excitement rose from the depths, along with a sense of trepidation as I looked out into the hallway before us.
As I slinked out into it, my emotions did not dissipate in the slightest as I realized there were no shadows. To my left was a wall, meaning the door I was in was the last in the hallway. However, to my right was a multitude of doors on the left and right side, and the hallway itself seemed to fade into the distance, the torches doing very little to brighten it.
"Koda." She nodded in acknowledgement. "Which way will bring us closer to where Haruno's shadow is?"
"No idea." She answered.
I looked at her with annoyance.
"Okay, I get it. Not the time for jokes." She acquiesced. "I think all these doors are storage. No one travels through here that often, from what I saw previously."
"Down the hall it is." I said, taking each step carefully.
I stood close to the wall, not wanting to be in the center in case we were caught off guard. Pushing forth through the darkness, we passed a few more doors before the hallway split left and right. Me and Koda shared a glance. After a moment's hesitation, I chose to go right. Opening the door, my breath caught slightly as I surveyed the room.
In it, was a number of weapons that were hung on racks throughout.
"An armory." I whispered.
It was currently empty, and considering the fact that we were in a castle, I should have assumed that something of the sort would be here. It only made sense, and yet, it wasn't until further inspection that I realized something was deeply unnerving about it.
I approached the weapons with curiosity, my awareness of my surroundings lapsing slightly. When I got close enough, I realized the weapons were categorized under plaques that read with various names. One said, "Simon Faraday" and underneath it were weapons, each one bearing a ornately engraved word. In specific, a rather mundane looking spear had the words "Intense Fear of Clowns" on it. An entirely different one, under the name "Manaho Zutsumi," had the words "Ties With the Mafia" on it.
The realization began to set in.
I, rather frantically, began to search for my own name.
Other names, such as "Sanaa Akintola" and "Garrison Ferri" appeared, each one with their own host of weapons beneath them, some saying "Having an Affair," and others saying things like "Unhappy with Career."
My eyes flitted between name after name, and slowly a deep weight settled in my chest.
They weren't organized in any way.
The room itself was probably the size of a football field, and within it, there was no rhyme or reason for how Haruno categorized her enemies. Their weaknesses were simply stored and recorded, but there was no difference between person to person. That, was simply how she saw the world.
I realized, for the first time, that my hatred of Haruno's methods was much more wide-spanning a problem than I could have imagined. She saw people as an amalgamation of their most repressed fears and emotions. And, accordingly, she saw those fears as levers to pull, buttons to push.
I was certain that somewhere in this room, my name was written on a plaque and the fears that I held so deeply to my chest were recorded somewhere along with it.
Perhaps she did feel some sort of love, some sort of duty to her sister. That was likely what drove her to manipulate Yukinoshita in the way that she did.
But, in truth, she used the same methods she used on anyone else to accomplish her goals.
And that, unfortunately, was something I couldn't forgive.
I began to calm slightly. Although I was unable to find my own name, it was not necessary for me to do so. I was aware of my own weaknesses more than any other. How could I not be? I would always know better than Haruno what drove me to so desperately seek the truth above all else. My breathing evened out, and I began to think logically again.
"I'm guessing you're gonna tell me what got you so worked up?" Koda finally asked, sounding as if she had been keeping her mouth shut for as long as she could handle.
"Yeah." I answered. "Simply put, it seems to me that all of these weapons represent the tools Haruno uses to manipulate the people around her. Whether that be secrets, fears, or insecurities, none of it makes any difference to her. All of it is displayed here."
Koda briefly looked around the huge room, her voice carrying with it a tinge of shock. "Damn."
I nodded with her response, my mind racing. I was beginning to think that I was in deeper with this than I could have imagined, considering that the names sounded to be from entirely different countries. I was aware Haruno was active in their family's business, but to what extent I couldn't be sure.
"We've lingered here long enough." I said with slight urgency.
Leaving behind the armory, we carefully made our way back through the door we entered.
Although Imperfect and Flawed, His Fortitude Prevailed
