New Me?
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Hearing the conversation in the kitchen takes me back….
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I forgot how much I missed Lima. The simplicity of a small town has always captivated me. I used to wonder how people chose to live in small towns over giants like New York or California but after this summer, I get it.
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End of junior year my parents said we were going to Europe for the summer, I was so excited to get away but it was Russell and I should have known better.
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I spent the last 4 months transforming. Long gone is the imperfect nose, the glasses and braces. Judy didn't like the minor, barely visible stretch marks that mared my body so after working out with the best personal trainers you'd never know just a year and a half ago I had a baby. I have to admit the biggest change that I ended up loving was my hair, when I left it was long and always a dark blonde but now it's choppy, shoulder length and lighter than it's ever been.
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The hardest part of it all has been my inability to talk to Santana. She's been my best friend since I can remember, we tell each other everything.
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She has no idea her ugly duckling friend has become a beautiful swan
(Judys words, definitely not mine)
I was told not to tell anyone and to insure that, they took my phone. I get it back today and school starts tomorrow, Senior year. At first it made me sad to think about leaving Lima but now? I'm counting down the days, I have my eyes on a few colleges that are as far away from here as I can get.
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"Can I have my phone now please?" I ask as we enter the house. I could just go over to Santana's who lives across the street but now I kind of want to see everyone's reaction.
Judy hands me said phone and turning it on I see 85 texts 56 missed calls all from one person and that makes me smile.
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She didn't forget about me
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I head up to my room and spend the rest of my day unpacking, a few hours later I send out a quick text
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Me: Guess who's back!
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Bear : Jesus Christ Caboosey disappear much! I was about to personally fly to Europe and file a missing people's report.
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That makes me smile, if no one else missed me she did and that's all I need.
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Me : Sorry Bear phone was locked up all summer and I mean literally locked up.
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Bear : No comment.
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Santana knows how Russell and Judy are, she's seen many a fights between them and I have on more than one occasion snuck over to her house, she would hold me while I cried never judging or asking questions only offering back rubs and kisses on top of my head.
She's always loved me for me.
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Me : Can't wait to see you tomorrow
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Bear : Pick you up tomorrow?
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I take a minute to think about it, she and I have riden to school everyday since 3rd grade but in order to keep my transformation a secret I have to break tradition.
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Me : Sorry to break tradition bear but I have something to do in the am, I'll bring you coffee though how about that?
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Bear : Woman of my dreams! I love you! See you then.
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I spend the evening being meticulous making absolutely sure to lay out the perfect outfit for tomorrow.
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Double checking the mirror I smile, I'm in black skinny jeans that are way too tight but definitely show off all my hard work, Santana's favorite rolling stone tee that she left at my house, my leather jacket and a brand new pair of chucks,
I make sure my shoulder length blonde hair is tussled and perfect just like I was shown.
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I walk into the Lima bean ordering our favorite drinks, luckily there were no students there. After securing the precious cargo I head towards school. I wait a little bit to make sure everyone is inside, exhaling I open the doors.
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The sea of students almost seem to part slowly all eyes are on me but mine are focused on the gorgeous girl at her locker with her perfectly chiseled jaw on the floor. It makes me smile and i make sure to put a little extra sway my hips, once I reach her I tussle my hair handing her, her drink.
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"Luce…..I…..your….you…what,…" she studders clearly checking me out.
Before I can respond she wraps her arms around my neck pulling me into her "I missed you Kid" she whispers "So fucking much" and the way her voice cracks breaks my heart,
I've missed her everyday for the last 4 months.
She lets go quickly remembering where we're at finally taking a sip when I hear….
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"Hey Quinn!" I look to the right and notice Brittany standing there, did she just get here or has she been here the whole time? I look at Santana questioningly but she shakes her head no, she'll tell me later
"Hey Britt!"
"Your new look is way hot, I didn't know you and San had the same shirt?"
"It's my shirt Britt, My favorite shirt actually" Santana says smiling at me
We stand there talking a few minutes more before the bell rings, saying our goodbyes we had to class.
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"Will you stop staring at me!" I shoulder bump her laughing "I'm sorry Luce I'm just…I mean you were beautiful before all this, but now?" I roll my eyes "I didn't know there were layers to your hotness Fabray!" I laugh looking over at her.
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For as long as I can remember it's been her and I, we met in 3rd grade, we locked eyes and that was it. She is 6 months older than me that's why she calls me Kid and I think she's an absolute teddy bear but she would NOT allow me to call her that in public so we compromised and I was allowed to call her Bear.
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Sophomore year she officially came out and it was so hard for her, I did my best to be there for her, protect her but sadly it was a battle she had to fight alone. She disappeared for a few weeks but when she came back…Wow.
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Her look had changed, her clothes were tighter her hair was somehow longer and she had joined the cheerios, she had this newfound confidence but was still the person who would sing yellow submarine at the top of her lungs to cheer me up and it was then that I realized I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. I've never said anything to her, lord knows I've had my share of boyfriends but they've never made me feel an ounce of what she can.
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Unsure of what's come over me, I reach over and tuck some hair behind her perfect ear, her breath hitches and it scares me, my hand stays mid air almost frozen in time. After a minute she grabs my hand placing it in her lap under the desk, she begins to play with my fingers, it's always been her way of calming me down. We stay that way for the remainder of class, once said bell rings we gather our things.
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"Looking so fucking hot baby mama, round 2?"
Puck says and it makes me roll my eyes
"Listen Puckface she ain't interested move your sorry excuse for a face before I do what I should have done sophomore year" He looks at Santana who's now leaning across the desk her hands are balled fists and her eyes are filled with fire, she's always hated Puck for leaving me when I was pregnant. He nods backing up slowly before leaving class
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"Sorry Q, I" I pull her into a hug and tell her it's okay, thanking her for always defending me.
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She has this lazy cheesy ass smile and I know something stupid and/or inappropriate is on its way "Your man always defends your honor!"
I roll my eyes as she puffs her chest linking our arms together. She walks me to my car smiling.
"Wanna study tonight?" I ask and she nods
"Hell no, It's Friday but I do Wanna watch movies with the hottest chick in school" I shake my head "Stop, I'm still me. I'll see you later" She nods backing up before yelling "Love you Caboosey" and it still takes me back, she has always been one to never show emotion, always guard her heart but when she's with me…..I get probably the biggest smile ever as I wave "Love you Bear" She blushes at the name before getting into her car driving away.
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"Damn Q" I hear immediately turning around, my shirt is somehow caught on my shoulders and now I'm flailing like an idiot.
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Oh Lucy
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Laughing she comes up pulling my shirt down and I definitely don't miss the way her knuckles brush gently against my stomach, I'm staring at her but her eyes are fixated on my newly formed abs
"Umm San?" She finally looks up blushing
"My eyes are up here perv" she laughs hitting my arm "Sorry Q but damn" she throws herself on my bed dramatically and places her hands behind her bed.
And all I want to do is jump on her and…..
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"Luce?" I shake my head "I'm sorry San what?"
She leans on her elbows smiling "I asked if you
wanted to order pizza and watch movies?"
I shake my head "Absolutely!"
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We lean against the headboard with the pizza in between us, she picked a scary movie again and I can't remember the last time I had pizza.
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Someone jumps out of a bush and my hand grabs hers, it always makes her laugh when I get scared I think that's why she likes to watch them with me. She places the pizza box on the floor and lifts her arm, i smile moving to her side wrapping my arms around her mid section she kisses the top of my head and I sigh.
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"So did you meet anyone on Europe?"
I shake my head "Didn't really have the time San. I was working my ass off, literally"
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She laughs once more "Not sure why you changed Luce but you promise you're still the same Caboosey who punched Sam for making fun of me? Or…." I'm not really sure what came over me but watching her freak out about possibly losing me makes my heart want to explode, using my left hand I place it gently under her chin so she looks at me, I always get so lost in her eyes, I lean in slowly….
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The moment our lips touch I feel it everywhere, and it all makes sense why it never worked with anyone else. She's shocked at first but then relaxes into my touch. After a few minutes we break away and I notice her eyes are still closed
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"What was that Q?" She asks breathlessly
"Not sure San, I'm sorry if" she cuts me off by kissing me again and if the first kiss was great this one is…..amazing? Out of the world? Earth shattering? There arent enough words for what this one is. I pull her into me and before we realize it she's on top of me, thinking about where this is going makes me slow down
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"Sorry" she says backing up but I pull her back
"It's okay San, but we have to slow down okay?"
She smiles nodding kissing me once more before rolling next to me.
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I lean to my right curling both hands under my chin so I can see her, she's on her back looking at the ceiling. "Why are you smiling?" I ask, she looks over "You don't know how long I've dreamt of kissing you"
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That shocks me, I never knew she was into me. We've had countless sleepovers, we've gone swimming, dancing, pretty much everything.
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I sit up half leaning over her so I can see her better "It's been since freshman year for me"
Her eyebrows furrow at me, she's trying to think back "But you got pregnant a year after that"
I nod "It was definitely a mistake sleeping with Puck and I don't regret Beth but after hearing you started dating Britt I was…."
She places her hand on my cheek "Q I had no idea, trust me if i had…"
I shake my head "No it's okay San, how could you possibly know, you were figuring yourself out and I was just…..lost"
She nods in understanding "I just, I have to know Q"
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"What san?"
"Do you want this to be anything?"
I sit back and think about it, my parents would shit a brick if they knew. Everyone at school would have a field day. I look back at Santana who has so much hope in her eyes it makes me forget everything else, I nod smiling.
"I'd like to at least see if this could be something and who knows maybe after" She jumps back on me kissing my face exaggeratedly and it's making me laugh "San! Stop!" I try but she continues.
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"San! I'm gonna pee stop!" After a tickle fight in 8th grade she knows when I say that I mean it so she sits back straddling me, I lean up and wrap my arms around her waist "What do you think San?" She puts her finger under her chin, as if she really has to think about this, then leans forward "I'd love to date you caboosey"
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"Yeah?" I ask
"Absolutely" she says without hesitation "But just one thing."
I look up at her curious "What's that?"
She smirks crossing her arms "I ain't changing my last name to Fabray, I'm a Lopez! If you take me you take my last name"
Now it's my turn, I put my finger under my chin thinking about it, only we would agree to date and jump to picking out last names. That's us though and I wouldn't change it for the world.
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"Quinn Lopez?" I say trying to see how good it sounds
"No" She says shaking her head no
"No?" I ask back
She pulls me in by my shirt looking at me straight in the eyes "Lucy Quinn Lopez"
I blush instantly, smiling "I Love You"
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"And THAT!" I finally hear Santana in the kitchen saying "Is why you munchkins are Lopez's and not lame ass Fabray's, you're welcome!"
"Santana!" I enter throwing the dish towel at her laughing
"If our children's first words are ass, fuck or shit you are in so much trouble!"
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She laughs placing the small food trays in front of our adorable twins kissing the tops of their heads "Relax babe they're only 4 months"
I roll my eyes as she wraps her arms around me.
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10 years later and I never really learned how to resist her so I simply smile playfully hitting her hands.
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"You know I love you, kid" she whispers in my ear and it takes me back to a 17 year old with a secret crush and hopeful future, smiling I turn in her arms wrapping mine around her neck
"And I love you, bear"
