Maybe?

.

.


.

.

You watch as Brittany feeds Santana another gummy worm and it makes you roll your eyes. She doesn't even like gummy worms but Brittany does and she likes her so…

Crossing your arms you look anywhere but in front of you, why they asked you to sit with them you'll never know. Maybe it's just another cruel cruel way for life to keep fucking with you.

You know you shouldn't have feelings for her. How many slap fests have you both had? How many times have you torn each other down?

But none of that matters because when Brittany breaks up with her, like she always does, you'll be the one she runs too. It'll be your shoulder she cries on and it'll be your arms that wrap around her. And it'll be your heart that breaks because you know you'll never get to have all of her. She'll never love you at least not in the same way she loves Brittany.

.

You're not bright or bubbly and definitely not innocent like sweet Brittany S Pearce, no you're Quinn Fabray. The same Quinn Fabray who had a baby at 16, was in a car crash that almost left her paralyzed, who dyed her hair hot pink, got a Ryan seacrest tattoo and lit a purple piano on fire. No, you're definitely not sugar and spice, you've never been and probably never will be.

Time passes and you think maybe things will change after the failed wedding hook up, in fact you count on it because a one time thing ended up becoming a five time thing. And it surprises you for a while things between the two of you seem to change, it almost gives you, dare you say it? Hope.

Then opening your mail one day it all comes tumbling, no crashing down. Oh, You should have known better, Lucy.

.

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You're cordially invited to the wedding of

.

Santana Marie Lopez

And

Brittany Susan Pearce

.

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Ripping said invitation you send a text letting her know you won't be there, you'll make up an excuse as to why later. You know you should be a good friend and support her but the thought of her in a white dress, walking down the aisle, promising to love honor and cherish someone who isn't you? Writing sweet and loving vows, words she'll never say to you?

No, You don't need another heartbreak, you've had enough of that to last a few lifetimes so instead you throw yourself into your studies, you always have been good at that, a true Fabray.

.


.

It's 2am on a random Friday night and you're awoken by a pounding on your door. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes you're met with a soaking wet, Santana Lopez.

.

Her nose is red, her eyes are puffy and she won't make eye contact with you. Rolling your eyes because you already know what's happened, you usher her inside and grab some clothes, allowing her a moment to change.

.

She goes on to tell you Brittany called off the wedding, apparently she didn't realize she'd be making a life long commitment to be with one person and one person only, forever. And after Sam feed her some bullshit about the world ending in 2022 she decided life was too short to spend it with one person. Apparently Brittany S Pearce had wild oats to sow.

You want to laugh because that's just so Brittany and Santana should have seen this coming but you don't because the look on Santana's face tells you her heart is truly broken. She clings to you like the lifeboat you've always been for her and to be honest it would make you sad if your still injured back wasn't throbbing, so you gently guide her under the covers while still holding her.

And as she fists your shirt drenching it with her tears no words are spoken because they're simply not needed, not right now anyways. You know your job right now is too hold her and kiss the top of her head.

Just because you weren't her dream, doesn't mean she hasn't always been yours.

.

After calling her parents, she decides to stay in New Haven a while longer, eventually Mr and Mrs Lopez agree to purchase a small loft close to the dorms and much to your surprise, she enrolls in classes. The two of you spend most of your time together becoming as close if not closer than you ever were, before life happened. Somehow you've forgotten how much you've missed being in her company but more importantly you've missed the friendship.

.

You notice her random hook ups have now stopped and strangely enough, so have yours. When you ask her about it she simply shrugs saying she'd much rather spend her free time with you. She's asking you to sleep over more, using the it's-too-late-to-walk-home-alone-In-New-York excuse and you agree every time, not because she's right but because she's even given you a few drawers in her big dresser and it makes you happy.

Senior year of college approaches, you realize it's been 3 years and not once has she mentioned Brittany. After graduation she's invited you back to the loft to celebrate with her, just the two of you. She offers a cheers, a little thank you for sticking by her side, for always believing in her. But you tell her you've always believed in her because it's the truth. Even when she didn't believe in herself you believed enough for the both of them and that makes her smile.

As you finish the bottle of wine you notice she's fidgeting, meaning there's something she's been wanting to tell you but she's nervous and you can't remember the last time you've ever seen her like this. Bracing for the inevitable you take a deep breath.

.

She exhales, looking into your eyes and smiles. Now, you've seen Santana smile millions of times for millions of different reasons but this particular smile has never been directed at you. The intense eye contact she's giving you makes you even more nervous and when she takes your hands into her lap beginning to play with your fingers, you think you might actually pass out.

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It'll be okay, you remind yourself, you'll just blame it on the wine, it'll be okay.

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You're expecting to hear that she's been in contact with Brittany, maybe they're thinking of getting back together, or hell maybe it's the nail in the coffin and she's still in love with said blonde so you hold your breath in preparation. Suddenly, you hear something you've waited a lifetime to hear

.

.

"I love you Lucy" She exhales and it's just above a whisper. You blink a few times because either you're in the middle of another fantasy, you've had way too much wine or Santana just said….

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"Did you hear me Luce? I….I said I love you, please say something"

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You sit there stunned, looking at her waiting for the other shoe to drop as it always does, noticing instead the sheer panic slowly spreading over her beautiful face as she makes a move to get up because obviously, she's just ruined everything between you two but you can't let her leave especially like this, no! You've waited years to hear those beautiful words be directed towards you, to be the main and only cause of those words.

So you wrap your hand around her wrist pulling her back as you stand to meet her. Wiping the tears from her eyes you kiss her. You kiss her like you wish you could have in high school and much like you did in that hotel room. And when she wraps her arms around you, you exhale softly against those perfect lips and say what you've been dying to say for years…..

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"I love you too Santana"