I Remember
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Song : Remember by Becky Hill
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"Santana! Santana! Santana over here! Santana can you sign this please? Santana can you take a picture please? Santana!"
They chant and cheer and if I have to pose for one more picture or sign one more autograph I'm going to scream. Please don't get me wrong I absolutely love my fans and normally I'm one of the last artists to leave a venue but today…..
It's the end of my world tour and I just want to go home, have some wine and forget, even if it's just for the night….
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Flashback
12 months ago
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"You're never here Santana!" She exhales with her hands on her head
"I told you things would change once the song took off Q, I told you!" I yell back
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I just told her about the tour, I've been working promoting my album and I've been gone pretty much 10 out of these past 12 months, she misses me and I don't blame her. I just got news today about a world tour, I'd be gone for almost a year.
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"I asked you to come with me Lucy, come on tour with me! Write on the bus" I plead following her into the kitchen.
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"San" she shakes her head "I'm so so happy and so damn proud of you, but" I brace myself for what comes next "that's not ideal, my job is here and so is our lives, our friends…You're always gone, and now you're leaving on a world wide tour for a whole year I just….."
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She puts her head down and my eyes blur
"Don't do this Q, please" I beg
"Go on your tour San, enjoy it you've worked so damn hard not too, and ill just….." She shrugs shaking her head
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"I'll cancel the whole damn tour, I'll stay here just please don't end this, please"
She walks up to me shaking her head again "Don't do that San, don't throw away your dream. Besides you said it's only a year, who knows what can happen"
She kisses me and I wrap my arms around her never wanting to let go, she pulls away and I can't help but pull her back into me "I love you"
I softly against her lips and she smiles "I love you too" she runs her thumb across my bottom lip "So so much"
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End flashback
The limo drops me off and I exhale.
Home at last.
Quinn and I broke up, officially cutting off all form of communication about 2 months ago today and tonight I just want to forget. I haven't been back home since I left for my tour.
"Congrats on your tour Miss Lopez" Tom my doorman says, "Thanks Tom" I nod before making my way upstairs. The elevator dings and Exhaling I move to pull out the key .
The apartment is exactly how I remember with only one huge difference, all of her stuff is gone.
I drop my bag noticing the flowers in the table
Congratulations rockstar we're so proud of you, Welcome home, call us when you get in
Love Rachel & Kurt
I pull out my phone smiling
"Well if it isn't the mega superstar Santana Lopez!" I hear them both yell and I laugh shaking my head sitting on the couch.
"Rach it's just me, I literally just walked in"
"How are you sweetie?"
I exhale "I….I don't know yet Rach, how is she?"
The line goes quiet and I look at my phone making sure I didn't lose her "Rach?"
"There are rumors San but she hasn't told us anything official yet but….there are rumors"
"I see" my voice cracks and I hate it "Rach I have to go unpack"
"Kurt and I are on our way San, we'll bring dinner because I saw your last televised performance and you Miss Lopez are far too skinny!"
That makes me laugh "I'll see you soon Rach"
I scan the room, memories hitting me left and right and I wonder if she feels it when my phone buzzes
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Q : Can we talk?
I stare my the text until I hear Rachel and Kurt laughing setting the food down
"Sweetie what's wrong?" Kurt says sitting next to me, I show him my phone and he looks at Rachel, he hands the phone back but Rachel takes it before I can respond.
"Santana Lopez you need a break, now tell us all about the tour!"
We spend the next few hours catching up, Kurt tells me about his new beau named Blaine and Rachel just landed the role of Fanny Bryce to which I have agreed to see next week.
They head home and I clean while unpacking
A Few Days Later
"Santana Lopez! I have grrrrreat news!"
I roll my eyes "What do you want Puck?"
"You wound me, I've missed you, you know!"
"Uh huh sure so what's the news"
"There's a huge celebrity charity event with a shit ton of press and they've requested your presence"
"And?" I ask because it sounds like there's more
"I may have told them you would debut a new song"
"Son of a bitch puck! Like I don't have enough going on right now you expect me to pull a song out of my ass?!" I yell hanging up the phone scaring the couple walking next to me, after I apologize I head home.
I spend the next few days playing with a few different beats and melodies, writing as inspiration hits.
Friday morning I wake up in my music room looking at my notebook when my eyes widen
"Holy shit!" I yell jumping up and down "I've got it!" I grab my phone
"Go for puckerman"
I roll my eyes "Please tell me you don't seriously answer your phone like that"
He laughs "Only when hot girls call me"
"Disgusting. Anyways! I have the song but I want you to add some beat to it. I don't want this slow sappy sad shit"
"Oh hell yeah! Send it over better yet come to the studio let's lay it down."
"I'm on my way"
Friday Night
"Relax will ya?" Puck says taking my hand. I smooth out the invisible wrinkles in my dress nodding.
The limo pulls up, he exits First straightening his tie then reaches for my hand.
He is in an all black dolce suit and I am in a red tight strapless dress, he fixes my dress before we pose for pictures
"Santana! Over here!" I hear reporters calling so I make my way over smiling.
"Santana how are you since the breakup?"
"Have you heard the rumors that Miss Fabray may be dating again?"
"Have you two talked yet?"
"How was the tour?"
"Are you seeing anyone?"
It's all overwhelming and Puck knows it, he walks back grabbing my hand as we head inside
"Thank you" I whisper and he winks at me
"Don't listen to them, you haven't talked to Quinn yet, don't jump to conclusions" I nod as we take our seats
"Thank you all for joining us tonight"
The announcer starts and I look around scanning the room until…
I gasp loudly grabbing Pucks arm
"You okay?" He asks and I shake my head, he follows my line of sight and shakes his head
"You didn't tell me she'd be here"
"Don't….focus on your song and worry about her after, don't make a scene"
She turns at the same time and our eyes lock
She gives me a small smile and nod before a hand is over her shoulder pulling her focus.
I put my head down trying to control myself, there are over 500 people here and I won't let them see me crumble.
He leans over "Ready?"
I nod heading backstage
"I'm very honored to introduce one of my favorite people in the world and best friend, she just finished her world tour. We are so lucky she accepted the invitation. Please help me welcome to the stage the insanely talented …Santana Lopez
Everyone stands cheering as I walk out, I wave to a few people and smile before taking my place.
"Good evening everyone, I feel so honored to be here tonight, I was going to do just another song of mine but as I was reminded by my so called friends" I point at Puck and everyone laughs. "I only play sad sappy things so tonight, I wrote something a little upbeat don't get too excited but this one is close to my heart. I hope you like and if you don't I'm sure I'll hear about it on Twitter" They laugh once again as I dramatically roll my eyes, I look at Puck nodding then raise the mic as the lights flash
I'm doing just fine now it's over
I've been moving on and living my life
But occasionally I lose composure
And I can't get you out of my mind
If I could go back in time
I'd do things differently, yeah, I wouldn't think twice
I'd distract myself, think of someone else
But every now and then you remind me
It's only when I'm lying in bed on my own
And I wake up and I don't see your name on my phone
It's in the moments where I think that I'm better alone
That's when I remember, that's when I remember
Every time I walk past your house in the rain
And I tell myself that you were the biggest mistake
And just when I think I'm finally doing okay
That's when I remember, that's when I remember
My friends tell me I shouldn't listen
To the voices that go 'round in my head
So I try to delete all the memories
But you're really hard to forget
If I could go back in time
I'd do things differently, I wouldn't think twice
I'd distract myself, think of someone else
But every now and then you remind me
It's only when I'm lying in bed on my own
And I wake up and I don't see your name on my phone
It's in the moments where I think that I'm better alone
That's when I remember, that's when I remember
Every time I walk past your house in the rain
And I tell myself that you were the biggest mistake
And just when I think I'm finally doing okay (I'm finally doing okay)
That's when I remember, that's when I remember
I'm missing you
You (I'm missing, I'm missing)
I'm missing you
You
It's only when I'm lying in bed on my own
And I wake up and I don't see your name on my phone
It's in the moments where I think that I'm better alone
That's when I remember, that's when I remember
Everyone stands clapping as I take my bow.
The night proceeds and the amount of questions thrown at me is overwhelming, I knew I should have just done one of my old sappy songs.
I find my way to the bar ordering my favorite taking a seat i exhale.
Quinn's POV
Santana has always been a fantastic singer but to say I was blown away tonight would be the biggest understatement of the universe.
"Hi"
She hears me say immediately stiffening as
I take a seat next to her ordering a drink.
"Congratulations on your tour, I heard it was a huge success"
She nods not looking away from her drink
"Will you please look at me"
She tilts her head to the left and her eyes are watery
"Where's your date?" She scoff downing her drink and it hits me.
Now I get it, She's jealous.
"Sam? Oh he's not my date, we work for the same agency and"
"You know Q, I don't really want to talk about it okay? It's been a hard year and…."
"You're not listening to me Santana, I texted you the other night, I wanted to talk to you and the song you just sang tells me you feel the same way"
That makes her look at me once more and now that I know she's finally listening, I continue…..
"Listen, normally we play this cat and mouse game and normally I'm game but I've missed you everyday for 12 months so I'll get straight to the point. Contrary to what you've heard I haven't dated anyone, I haven't really done anything other than work and follow your tour"
"Damn Q, sounds like you need a hobby" I laugh hitting her shoulder
"I'm trying to tell you I waited for you Santana"
She immediately turns her whole body to face me
"If you still want me I'm…"
She doesn't let me finish that sentence, I haven't touched those lips in almost a year. Her hand goes to my cheek holding me in place, we can see the flashes and hear people whispering gasping around us but either of us could care less.
"I thought I lost you Q" She whispers against my lips
I shake my head "Never"
"But you took your stuff out of the apartment?"
She smiles running her thumb across my bottom lip "That's because I bought something…
in brownstone"
"Q!" She yells.
Her dream loft is in brownstone, when we first started dating she proudly showed me the building and promised that if i took this journey with her that one day we'd have that very loft.
I smile nodding "It's the dream loft San"
She laughs as I stand up pulling her with me, we quickly say our goodbyes entering the limo followed by the relentless paparazzi. After a short drive we stand outside the building, I look up and smile. She grabs my hand as we walk up to the door.
"Q" She whispers
Bringing her hand up to my lips I kiss each knuckle and she sighs softly leaning back against the door.
It opens to a foyer and I think Santana may lose her mind…..She yells "We have a fucking foyer!"
I laugh noticing her excitement as she carelessly tosses her purse on the table
We turn to the left entering a huge living room…..
"You remembered" she says breathlessly
I roll my eyes "Of course I remembered!"
In the corner sits a huge L shaped black leather sectional with one thing she's always dreamed of owning,
a white grand piano, She softly touches the keys as i come up behind her wrapping my arms around her kissing her neck.
"Notice anything babe?"
She looks closer and finally notices….
"Babe! You had my fucking name inscribed on it!" I nod and she cant contain her excitement
"Wanna see more?" I husks against her neck
and she leans into my touch nodding
The living room is overlooking Manhattan and the kitchen is open to the right
We head upstairs making a left and I think her eyes might just pop out.
Our bedroom is massive.
In the center sits a California king bed and in front of that sits a huge 75 in tv that's mounted.
There are shelves on both sides "I figured we could put your Grammys here" i point smiling, nodding we continue the bathroom is an open concept, there is a tub big enough for two, the shower is a rainfall shower with glass doors and marble everywhere, it's everything on her wish list.
I wrap my arms around her neck kissing her forehead
"It's perfect" She whispers squeezing me tighter
I exhale, this is my moment…
"It's almost perfect, San you and I have never really played by the rules and it's one of the million things I love about us. This past year without you has been the hardest time of my life. It made me realize a lot of things but the most important thing I realized was that I don't exist without you, my life doesn't make sense."
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I take a deep breath before grabbing her hands
"I never want to lose you again. I don't care if you're gone for months at a time or another year, I want to be the one you come home too."
I finish my speech and drop down on one knee she wipes her eyes gasping
"Santana Lopez will you marry me?"
I look up at her and I'm home, she's all I've ever wanted. I was so lost without her and so stupid to let her go but now I know for sure, that there is absolutely no one else in this world I want.
I'm so glad we've never played by the rules.
She smiles nodding "I will absolutely spend my forever with you Lucy, I will marry you"
I pump my fist in the air standing, slowly sliding the ring on that perfect finger, She looks at it for a second then back into my eyes and it makes my heart beat a little faster, I place my hands on her cheeks pulling her into me. She smiles into our kiss as her hands move around my waist.
"I love you" I breathe against those beautiful lips
"I love you so so so much" she responds pulling me back in
"Wait" She leans back
"What? What's wrong?" I ask eyes still closed
"How'd you know I'd say yes to all this? What if I said no? What if I was dating? What if…."
I pull her back in stopping the rest of that sentence, laughing she pulls back.
"You're worth any and everything Santana, if you were in fact dating I'd be disappointed for sure but I'd wait because it's us." I shrug
"It's always been us and always will be"
She throws her head back in fake annoyance
"Damn Fabray, that was good"
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Laughing she shakes her head once more, leading us back to our bedroom where we spend the rest of the night christening the new apartment.
