As much as you hate Lima, the moment Judy told you he was getting remarried you knew you'd have to step foot back in this god forsaken hellhole. Now you find yourself making small talk with a group of Judy's friends while soliciting unofficial legal opinions. It makes you gag internally and you've lost track of how many eye rolls you've had to contain. After an hour you excuse yourself quickly and head into the kitchen for a moment of silence. Throwing your head back and closing your eyes, you deeply exhale.
"Oh come on" The voice startles you but your eyes remain closed because you know that voice "It can't be that bad"
You internally curse Judy because she guaranteed over and over again that this person would not be in attendance today.
"Did you get my letters? I must have sent like…."
"Fifty" You respond by opening your eyes and turning your gaze towards the last person you expected to see, especially today. "You sent me fifty letters while I was in Paris"
She nods before casting her gaze downward and it's something in between sadness, embarrassment and a hint of regret.
"I'm just glad you got them" She nods once more before leaving the kitchen.
Pouring another glass of wine you head back out in to the living room in search of
"Mom!" You yell over her talking friends, startling her.
"Yes Lucy, are you okay?"
Reaching for her arm you practically drag her back into the kitchen and once the door closes you brace yourself with both hands against the counter and it's at that moment she finally realizes why. "I'm so sorry sweetie, Maribel and Miguel said she'd be in surgery this week"
"What do I do" You practically whisper as your mom wraps her arms around you
"Do you still love her?"
"Mom" You begin but she holds her hand up "No QUINN, seriously. Do you? Because while you were in Paris living it up, she was here practically everyday. Stalking the mailbox like a crazy person. So if you still love her you need to tell her and if you don't then you really need to tell her because that girl is…"
"What?"
"She's sure as hell in love with you Quinn"
She leaves the kitchen and you hop on the counter.
The memories flood your mind and no one knows this but you've read and re-read every letter almost daily since you've been gone. The tear stains on each could easily give you away. You left for Paris to intern with a very prestigious firm, not knowing how long you'd be gone for, you decided to set Santana free because making her wait wasn't fair. She protested over and over saying she would wait as long as it took but eventually she caved because you were the one asking her.
Six months into being gone you hear through Rachel that Santana and Brittany have been hanging out more and more and it's making her nervous for you. You want to be mad and maybe even call her but then you remind yourself that you were the one who set her free and can't have it both ways. So you throw yourself into your studies and the next two and a half years seem to fly by. A year of being gone is when the first letter appears, in it she tells you about medical school and her boring everyday life but never does she mention Brittany and you used to wonder why but now you get it. You want to respond to her letters but you know that will just give her hope so you don't.
By the end of year three, you've collected fifty letters and a handful of Polaroids. You keep one by your bedside, it's Santana blowing you a kiss and absolutely no one knows you kiss it goodnight every single night without fail. The other you keep hidden inside of your phone case, it's a close up picture of the both of you the night before you left for Paris, looking at it you can see the pain in her eyes. Her smile may be able to fool everyone but her eyes have always given her away. You keep it as a reminder of happier, simpler times. Exhaling, you decide you've hidden long enough.
Re-entering the party you notice the group of middle aged women huddled around someone and when the mysterious person laughs, you immediately roll your eyes. There Santana stands, telling operating room stories like some war hero while these middle aged moms eat up every word. Cautiously you walk up trying to blend in but she could spot you from a mile away, a small smirk beginning to form and all you can do is cross your arms. Now it seems like a game between the two of you. As she continues telling stories her eyes stay focused on you and you, enjoying the attention, do everything to bait her. First you'll quirk your eyebrow and when that doesn't work you'll twirl a strand of hair but then you remember…..
A smirk appears on your face before you bite your lip. It's a simple gesture but it's always been one of her weaknesses, she stops mid sentence, the story long forgotten as everyone looks around confused as to what just happened but her eyes remain stuck on you.
Noticing the panic appearing on her face you decide to make a move "Excuse me, can I steal her for a moment?" You say pushing Jenny to the side before reaching for Santana's hand pulling her away and up the stairs. On the way your mind is running a thousand miles per second because even though you've played out different scenarios of what you would do when you saw her, now in this moment you can't seem to form a single thought other than
"Whoa Q" She says backing away from the kiss and it shocks you.
Isn't this what she wanted? Isn't this what you've both waited for? Unless…
'Shit" You say, your cheeks immediately flushing as embarrassment takes over "You're dating Britt again. Santana I'm so"
"What?" She asks, almost shocked as you take a seat on your bed
"Rachel told me"
Santana laughs, shaking her head "That damn Hobbit and her big ass mouth, what did she tell you?"
You shrug like its no big deal "Just that you and Britt were hanging out again"
"Exactly" She confirms nodding "Hanging out, not dating. I'm not dating anyone"
You look up at her as your eyebrows furrow "You're not?"
"No you idiot, why would I date when my dumbass is in love with you?"
Her crude statement makes you laugh and then you notice the seriousness creep back on her face before she asks "Are you dating?"
Before you respond you reach for your phone to remove the case, her eyebrows furrow but she doesn't say a word. Once the case is removed you hand her the picture and her breath hitches
"You kept it" She practically whispers as the tears stream down her face, you stand gently wiping her tears "Of course I did San, being in Paris was both a blessing and a curse. I hated being away from you"
She sniffles "Why didn't you write back?"
You smile before moving to open your suitcase, reaching for the thick stack of envelopes you place them in her hand "I did, I just never sent them"
Her breath hitches as she brings the letters to her chest as if you've just handed her the holy grail and it makes you smile that even after all this time, nothing has changed.
"I know I have alot of making up to do" You rasp before taking the letter from her hands "But if you'll let me and if you'll still have me" Now you bring both of her hands up and kiss each knuckle "I'd like to spend the rest of my life making it up to you"
A sly smirk reappears as she exhales in pretend annoyance "I don't know Fabray, I've got options now, didn't you see all those MILFS down there just begging for me to…."
"Shut Up" You laugh pulling her in, the kiss stops her mid sentence as her hands move to your hips and you smile moving yours behind her neck.
"Okay" She husks out with her eyes still closed
"Okay?"
She nods before licking her lips "Okay, I'll let you make it up to me but it's gonna take a-lot and I mean A-LOT of making up" She smirks before pulling you in once again.
You roll your eyes as she laughs, the two of you spend a few more minutes in your old room before deciding to rejoin the dinner party. You both walk down the stairs hand in hand and when Judy notices she nods smiling as tears fill her eyes.
You may have lost three years but you'll be damned if you'll lose anymore. Now this, you tell yourself is your second chance and you won't take it for granted. Pulling Santana's hand up you kiss it and she smiles as you both sit down, resting your head on her shoulder makes your heart skip a beat and you know that this time, it's going to last, forever.
