Chapter 12: I will be there until the end…

He had lost it, everybody did agree upon that. It wasn't said out loud though, they kept their voices low but it was well known among the people that the king no longer followed the rules of sanity. The grief of losing his daughter to mortality was to blame for this some claimed while others believed that the gem was the cause of this. He was way too confident, and this was hubris on so many levels. CeKay didn't reveal herself now, she stayed in the shadows, acted like an ordinary elf and the disguise wasn't discovered even once. She knew how to act now, and how to melt into the masses. Bringing the silmaril to their city was in itself a bad move unless he decided to return it to the sons of Fëanor but there was no sign of that being his attention. Even his advisors tried to reason with him, to make him see that keeping the accursed thing was a mistake. The feanorions would know it had ended up in his hands and demand it back and no matter how strong their city was, those noldor would stop at nothing.

Others did also mumble about his tendency to listen too much to the second born and the whole mess with Turin also made many doubt his ability to rule. Some of the noble men of the realm did leave, a huge group was lead by one named Oropher and they left for the eastern woods where they would dwell with the silvan elves there. CeKay felt a lump of anxiety, she knew that this would end badly and she could do naught about it. Melian had locked herself in her chambers and refused to come out and even the birth of her grandchild didn't manage to rid the realm of the doom and gloom which had descended upon it. CeKay was out hunting when Thingol did contact the dwarves regarding the necklace of Finrod which he wanted to embellish with the silmaril. She almost spat when she heard about it but he had already made the deal and this would never have happened if he had been his former rational self. The feanorions had already sent letters, demanding the gem back and he had not even answered. His closest co workers said he spent hours staring at the accursed thing.

CeKay did notice one thing though, the bad atmosphere and the fear made several rebel against the kings rules. Not openly, oh no, but in the shadows and his own nephew was among the most discontent of them. He did not have a claim to the throne at all now that Luthien's son was coming of age soon but he didn't want to stay there. He and Galadriel were betrothed and CeKay was happy on their behalf but she also feared for their future if they were to stay for much longer. It did take a while before real trouble started, at first there were rumours that the dwarves were less then pleased with the payment they had received from the king in advance, they wanted more for the work was to be exceptional. Then some claimed that this was just to create a diversion, since the dwarves now wanted the necklace for themselves. Cekay already knew that the goddamn silmaril did turn people greedy and stupid and she did truly wonder what it was. It couldn't be just a gem, it had to be so much more and from the stories she had heard it sounded as if it had taken the common sense of its creator too as it was brought to life.

She was contemplating stealing the thing, she doubted that it could ensnare her and she could easily do it without being detected, but she had no idea of how the king would react then. He was hovering on the border of madness already and she didn't want to add to it. So she waited and hoped that the wisdom of the elves would win out in the end.

The son of Luthien and Beren did marry an elleth named Nimloth and for a while the atmosphere of Doriath was a merry one, it brought hope in spite of everything else. CeKay had learned about the fall of Nargothrond and everything which followed and she knew that the noldor indeed were cursed. They would never be able to work together to achieve their goals but be torn apart from the inside, never pulling in the same direction. She had liked Finrod and his brother and she did mourn them all but knew that the hands of the enemy were long, and stronger than many would believe. She was aghast to hear of the end of Niniel and Turin and she remembered what she had once seen, the song was out of harmony now, it was a lamentation, not a song of hope.

The dwarves did come to the city with the reforged necklace, now with the silmaril mounted in it and CeKay did see it, from a distance and she felt the silmaril like a weight upon her consciousness and it terrified her. There was a familiarity there, a sort of recognition, one artificial mind to another. But she felt why the silmaril was so dangerous, it was incomplete! It was a part of a group of three and without the others the harmony was off. Beren and Luthien had in fact done a blunder when they stole it from the crown of Morgoth, it would never bring anything but misery, not to anyone. It was wonderful to behold of course and she did yet again wonder how an elf had been able to create this, she wanted to warn the king but she knew that she couldn't.

It happened late in the evening, when the lights were low and everybody were relaxed after a long day. The king went to deposit the necklace in the vaults and the dwarves attacked him there, driven mad by their desire for the gem. Many were slain, including the king himself and the dwarves did flee and nobody had the time nor the courage to pursue them for this shocked them all to the core. CeKay wanted to go after them but knew that she couldn't and it bugged her royally. She could have slain them all at once but to what purpose? What was done was done. The entire city did go into shock and the grief made them act in strange ways but CeKay did see that some did keep a straight head and did the reasonable thing. Celeborn and Galadriel left with some followers, they slipped away during a dark night and were gone, supposedly heading for Lindon and CeKay was relieved. Melian had simply left too, many had forgotten that their queen was a maia and without her the protection did fail. The guards were doubled and the training intensified, the city was preparing for war. Now Dior was king and he had two sons born to him and people did turn to him for guidance and wisdom but he wasn't his grandfather at all. He was said to return to the city to take up the throne when the dwarves did return, with an army. They were overcome by greed and wanted the wealth the elven king had gathered and many were slain.

CeKay did fight, she had once admired and loved this race but now she saw the less than pretty side of them, they were turned into savage beasts and she attacked from the shadows and killed many. The wood elves did come to their aid together with Beren and now CeKay did for the first time encounter ents. She had heard them speak of the tree shepherds but had believed the tales to be just lies and exaggerations but now she did see that they were true. The ents did stop the dwarves from escaping and it became a bloodbath. The dwarves were excellent fighters within a cave, they were able to cut their way through any defence. Out in the open they were vulnerable, short and stocky and not very fast they were brought down by arrows and torn to shreds by ents who had seen them kill their precious trees too many times. In the end no dwarf did escape and their treasures were brought back to Doriath, the Silmaril included. Luthien got it to wear and CeKay did wince when she saw that goddamn thing around her neck, it should have been smashed into smithereens, not worn like that. It was like waving a red flag at a bull.

Now Dior Eluchil became the new king of Doriath and in the end of the year both Luthien and Beren did pass away from old age. Dior tried to be wise and he tried to be a real king but he failed to see that the whole picture is made up by oh so many pieces. He simply wasn't prepared for this and he sort of wanted to return Doriath to what it had been without considering the consequences of forgetting the past. CeKay managed to become a part of the royal guard and she was not impressed by this half elf at all. Oh he was beautiful like his mother and brave like his father for sure but something was still lacking. He wasn't a politician, he was way too naïve and too convinced of their strength.

He and his wife did have a daughter they named Elwing and he was so focused upon her that he didn't even answer when the Sons of Fëanor yet again demanded that the silmaril was returned to them. CeKay wished that she could steal it, that would end the quarrel and perhaps Doriath would be spared. Without the girdle the city was depending on the guards and marchwardens to remain safe and orcs and other foul beasts were constantly trying to find it. CeKay knew that Turgon, the son of Fingolfin had built a secret city somewhere too and that it was closed off, it was a strategy which made her shake her head in despair. Nargothrond had fallen spectacularly, Doriath had been sacked and this one believed that they could stay hidden forever? It would not end well and she just knew it.

The city was being rebuilt and things seemed to go rather well, there had been few attacks from the orcs lately and CeKay knew it was the calm before a storm, she just had no idea of how horrible that storm would be. The feanorions had written letters, sent envoys and the demands were no longer polite at all. The words were crass and direct and anyone with half a brain ought to know what the Feanorions had done in the past and what they were capable off. Yet Dior didn't respond at all and he seemed to be convinced that the strength of Doriath was enough to keep any unwanted visitors at bay.

CeKay went into camouflage mode again, she was on edge and stayed in the trees and the forest itself was also very alert now. She had reconnected with the beasts of the land and she had been resting in a hollow oak when she got the first warnings. A fox ran by, barking and whining and the trees were swaying, making groaning sounds. She got up and heard the sounds of distant shouts and screams and cussed. She was already too late, the Feanorions didn't attack full on first, not like they normally would. Somehow they had managed to find one of the hidden entrances to the city and had infiltrated it through that and now they were killing the guards who didn't expect attack from behind.

She got up, ran towards the entrance and saw that the guards were felled, more of the followers of Fëanor did appear and she knew that she couldn't just kill them all, it would be wrong of her so she used her superior strength to block the doors with boulders and then she ran to see if she could somehow prevent the worst of the bloodshed. The warriors of Doriath had been taken by surprise, yet they fought well and many of the enemy were felled since they weren't used to fighting within such a confined space. CeKay ran towards the royal chambers and she stayed in camouflage mode so she was invisible to the naked eye. She killed a few of the enemies as she ran, completely focused on her goal. Failing now would be just heartbreaking and she thought she heard the sound of screaming children. ¨

She had already seen that Maedhros and Maglor were absent, their warriors and colours were nowhere to be seen and she suspected that this was done by the other brothers, out of sheer impatience. Celegorm and Curufin and Caranthir were wild and reckless and way more ferocious than the two eldest and she believed those who said that the best parts of Fëanor and Nerdanel had gone into their two first sons. She found Caranthir dying in a hallway, he had been skewered by a spear and hang from it, blood running down his chin. CeKay didn't stop at all, she just ran by him. She now knew that these elves had known more about the layout of the city than they ought to, they had gone straight for the chambers where the king stayed and she found that most of Dior's guards had been cut down. Nimloth lay near the door to her rooms, a cruel cut across her throat and CeKay did gasp, this told of complete bloodlust and nothing else but the children were nowhere to be seen. That was encouraging.

Then she heard the sounds of battle and ran again, entered the throne room. Dior was still alive, fighting Celegorm. Curufin lay dying on the floor and CeKay knew that the king was an excellent swordsman in his own right. The dark haired ellon did protect himself with expert technique but Celegorm did fight like a savage beast and Dior was already wounded. CeKay felt cold, what was she to do? The silvery haired elf made that choice for her, he made a strange move and Dior got confused and left an opening and Celegorm did exploit it. He ran his sword through the king and laughed as he did it. CeKay did sneer and removed the camouflage, the elf did flinch for a second, hadn't seen that anyone was approaching and he didn't know who this elleth were. He ran towards her to fell her but CeKay moved with a speed no elf would be able to match and now she did return to the form Celegorm had seen, the blonde beauty who had followed Fingolfin. He growled. "So, it is you, the whore, where is the gem!"

CeKay knew he was insane, any normal person would have understood that he faced an opponent he couldn't hope to overcome and yet Celegorm did attack again, trying to pierce her with the blade. She felt wrath boil up inside of her, and now she started to glow. Finally the elf realized that he was up against something not human at all and he slowed down, eyes revealing disbelief. "What the fuck? Are you one of Melian's minions?"

CeKay growled and grasped onto Celegorm's blade as it swept by her side, it must have felt as if the blade hit solid rock for Celegorm gasped and let go, his hand stunned by the impact. She broke the blade in half and stared at him. "All this bloodshed, children and women, all innocent, just for the sake of an accursed gemstone?"

He tried to grasp onto her and she growled again,. "You are not worthy of a clean death, no, you shall suffer!"

She released some nanites into the air and he breathed them inn, not aware of the danger. The tiny machines went to work almost immediately, tearing up the tissue of his lungs and the elf coughed and wheezed, his expression one of disbelief and shock. He was grasping his throat, heaving for air but there was nothing to be had, the nanites ruined his trachea and he tipped over, body convulsing violently before the light died in his eyes with him.

CeKay kicked the body, now, where were the royal children? She ran off and found that the followers of the Feanorions were retreating now that their leaders were dead, they were falling back and the survivors tried to regroup and protect themselves. She ran through the chaos and found that many were fleeing westwards. She then turned and ran east, only to find that Maedhros and Maglor had come but too late to stop their brothers from committing yet another horrific crime. She kept hidden, Maedhros did kill a couple of servants, they had served Celegorm and had lead the twin sons of Dior into the woods and abandoned them there. Maedhros did take off to try and find them and CeKay knew that he wasn't completely corrupted, there was good in him still, as in his brother. The two youngest sons of Fëanor were also there, shocked and confused by all this.

CeKay didn't reveal herself but she ran by Maedhros and tried to find the two boys too, she could cover much more ground than the tall ellon and she used the trees and the animals too and before long she knew that the two weren't to be found by anyone there. Melian had come for them, and brought them home to Aman with her. She couldn't bear to lose her kin thus and had interfered, even if she had sworn not to. CeKay was glad and now she tried to help the survivors. She took the shape she had had again and helped organize help and healing and from one of the surviving guards she was told that the daughter of the king had escaped and brought the gem with her. CeKay swore to herself, as long as that family continued to cling onto that bloody thing this would happen again.

The city of Doriath was abandoned, the survivors couldn't bare to stay anymore and the entire kingdom was left behind. The great halls would no longer house elves and only wild beasts would enter its caves. Even with the huge loss of lives there were thousands of elves on the run towards the sea and Sirion and CeKay followed them. She didn't trust the remaining Fëanorions for now they had brothers to avenge as well as their father and the gems. Even a good man can snap and do terrible things and she knew that the oath was a most horrible thing and something which could completely turn someone around. The mouths of Sirion was a lovely place and it was on its way to becoming a larger city and now it housed a lot of elves.

CeKay stayed in the shades even now, she was anonymous, just another refugee and she tried to help where she could. She worked at some of the fishing boats for a while and she saw how the society sort of reshaped itself there. Elwing was the princess of the Sindar elves now and she was being treated thus too but there were some rumours claiming that she spent way too much of her time with the gem. CeKay didn't like it even a bit. She knew what the gem could do to people, even someone as young and innocent as Elwing.

But the city was a safe place and the refugees did settle inn and things did take on the appearance of normality, for a while. CeKay did keep a keen eye on everything, just to be sure. She would patrol the streets at night and now she was experimenting with animal shapes and found that she liked it, a lot. She would roam the dark city as a street dog or some other large animal and sometimes she reshaped her horse to accompany her. She felt a sort of determination now, a need to just do something, something useful but how? She wasn't allowed to change history and that gnawed at her a lot. But she tried to make the lives of everybody a little easier, slipped some packages of food into the huts and tents of the poor, brought up more fish for the fishers…It wasn't much but it left her feeling content and she felt that she did contribute, at least a little.

Then a new wave of refugees started to arrive and the city was overcome with shock as the truth about their escape became known. They were of Gondolin, the hidden city of King Turgon and now Gil Galad was to be titled high king of the noldor. CeKay had never met the young elf and she just hoped that the title wouldn't curse him the way it had cursed others wearing that title. There were many new elves arriving at the city and making room for everyone wasn't easy, and many were wounded or severely traumatized too. CeKay was being told the story of Aredhel and her escape by a ragged old warrior who had barely gotten out with his life and she knew then that there were elves who were corrupted, even if they weren't touched by the enemy. Aredhel's husband had not acted like a normal elf and even if her son did betray the city CeKay could understand him at least a little. If he indeed did love his own cousin in a less than platonic manner it could drive anyone mad, besides, he would have believed himself to be a better heir than her, just because he was a male.

Idril and Tuor did arrive with their son Eärendil and the boy was handsome and smart and also very well behaved. CeKay stayed in the distance and didn't approach them at all, she didn't want to reveal who and what she was and so she watched the family from afar. Now there were two people in the city of mixed heritage and she knew that the young lad and Elwing had to meet sooner or later. She sort of sensed that he was meant for greatness, that his destiny would be special. Rumours soon spread about the remaining Feanorions, they said that the kinslayers knew of the whereabouts of the silmaril but apparently Maedhros had forsworn his oath and turned his back to it. CeKay did take a breath of relief but she knew it wouldn't last long before they were at it again. The goddamn oath was too strong, like a force in its own right and it would drive them all headlong into disaster.

But Sirion became a very busy city now, many left for Lindon and culture and arts thrived as they were rather protected against the forces of the enemy. CeKay did travel a lot now, she tried to estimate where and when the enemy would strike next and she saw that Morgoth was getting stronger again, building his armies and fortifying his strongholds. In the taverns songs were being sung about the courage of Glorfindel of the golden flower who sacrificed his own life to let the women and children escape and of Ecthelion who managed to kill Gothmog himself, and thus drowned. They sang of the might and wrath of Rog who had fought the orcs and other foul beings at the town square with his great hammer until he was brought down as the last of his house and CeKay did feel the tragedy of it all and mourned it.

Were the kings of the noldor truly cursed? She started to believe it, nothing they did seemed to end well. Were they truly too arrogant in their ways and too stubborn to see that they had to change to make it? Turgon had died just like his father and brother and the only ones left who had been called high king who were still alive were Maedhros and Maglor, and only the Gods knew for how long they would last. Soon enough it became common knowledge that the daughter of Dior and the grandson of Turgon were to be wed, and the city did rejoice. CeKay too felt some joy hearing about this but she still had a nasty feeling of impending doom. The blasted jewel should have been sent back to the feanorions, it would have been the only sane choice of action.

Elwing did often spend time with the gem and CeKay suspected that it somehow made people addicted somehow, and that was indeed very dangerous. Morgoth still had two and CeKay wondered if they did affect him in any manner, if he too was being tricked into doing stupid things there could be a chance of exploiting this. But the dark enemy did no mistakes as far as CeKay saw and she tried to understand his strategies and plan ahead. Sirion was home to many now, there was no way the city would escape his attention. He was pushing everybody ahead of him and the safe areas did shrink with each passing month. Elwing and Eärendil did welcome two sons, twins and everybody were happy. They were named Elrond and Elros and the city was decorated and songs sung in their honour. Some who dared to travel did claim that the oath was troubling the Feanorions again and that they would make a move sooner or later and Elwing did not wish to even discuss the possibility of sending the gem to them. CeKay thought the woman was just stupid, here she had a safe home, newborn twin sons and a husband and yet she refused to hand over that piece of dangerous crystal? Tuor and Idril had left to sail west and the young couple were left to rule there, in CeKay's view an unwise decision. It didn't get any better when Eärendil started to feel restless and left for sea voyages which got longer and longer, he was filled with the need to explore and he left his wife alone for weeks and months at a time.

Elwing seemed to cling onto the jewel with increasing desperation, letters from Maedhros were simply tossed away and she seemed to be unable to see the danger she was creating. Sirion wasn't a fortress, it was an open city with no walls of any kind and the only way you could escape would be by boat. Some did realize that staying would be a bad move and left and CeKay did braze herself for an attack but yet again the enemy did outsmart her. The army of Maedhros and Maglor did arrive in the middle of the day, when everybody were resting and the sun high and CeKay was out swimming when she heard the first horns blaring and the first screams. Even with her speed she couldn't get to Elwing in time and she feared that the daughter or Dior would be put to the sword if she didn't relinquish the gem. CeKay was in the harbour and she did see that Elwing threw herself off the cliff above it and fell into the ocean, clinging to the gem. She did also see that a very large white bird took off from the waves and flew towards the west with something shiny in its beak and CeKay didn't know if it was Elwings own powers inherited from Melian or a trick of any of the valar, the fact was that the city was being attacked and the gem was yet again out of reach of the remaining sons of Fëanor.

She ran into the city, the army was killing and attacking everywhere and she fought back, managed to get many away from the slaughter and finally the battle ended and the warriors did retreat, called back by their leaders. CeKay did see that the twin sons of Fëanor had been felled, and now only Maedhros and Maglor did remain and they carried Elwing's sons with them. CeKay feared for the lads, Maedhros and Maglor were the least insane of the brothers but even a sane person can become cruel given the right push so she camouflaged herself and stayed close, just to save the boys if the two warriors decided to harm them. Many had died and the grief was great, some hoped that it had ended now, that the silmaril was buried deep beneath the waves and never would be found.

To CeKay's relief the twins were treated kindly and well and became like sons to the two former kings and she did for a while wonder if these two innocent lads maybe had the power to heal the two warriors and make them turn their backs to the past. She kept dropping by every now and then and was fascinated by the love and understanding the ragged warriors showed the two young ones. By now Beleriand was almost completely overrun by Morgoth and there were few safe havens left, Sirion and the isle of Balar were among them and the elves did move to the east or south to avoid the enemy. CeKay was out on patrol when a messenger told that the last stronghold of the Fëanorions were destroyed by Morgoth, Belerian was practically in his hand now and the elven fortresses had fallen one by one. Many fled west now and there was some despair. Most of the remaining Noldor would never be allowed re-entry into Aman and was this to end now? With Morgoth taking over the entire Middle earth?

CeKay found out that Elrond and Elros were safe, and the lads were growing and learning and she hid and watched them rather often. She had become rather fond of them and saw that in spite of being twins they were rather different in character. Elros was a more impatient type with a temper and a burning need to understand. Elrond was more sedate and patient and he was stubborn too and very interested in the healing arts. He was also becoming a very good warrior and CeKay feared that he would need that soon. The relationship between the two last sons of Fëanor and the two young peredhel was close and yet not without problems for Elros in special seemed to be convinced that they were to blame for what happened to their mother. He was often a bit bitter and grumpy and CeKay wondered what his destiny would be.

The twins father had not been seen for a long time now and some said that he had sailed west to try to parley with the valar and make them see that their help was needed. CeKay wondered if these so called gods would bother with it at all, as long as Morgoth stayed in the east she feared that they would turn a deaf ear to the whole plea. She had realized that she was almost as strong as a vala and that she, if she had wanted to, could have changed everything but that would be wrong of her so she stayed passive and wondered what came next. On her journeys she soon discovered that most of the lands did suffer under Morgoth's rule and valleys once green and lush were left black and scorched. The elves she had lived with for years were nowhere to be found and she just prayed that they had left and found refuge in the east. Orcs and other foul creatures did roam every hill and valley and smoke rose from Angband constantly. She felt such anger seeing it and she just hoped that help would come, in spite of everything.

Then one day in the early sun someone spotted ships approaching the coast and they were many and heavily laden and moved way faster than they ought to if normal winds pushed them. Among them were all sorts of sea creatures and many cheered and sang, the valar had arrived to save them all. CeKay just knew it, Morgoth would be beaten for sure, the question was at what price?