Calla

You must be willing to sacrifice everything.

Calla walked in the snow. They had scarce few horses, and she preferred to leave the horses to people who needed them. She was better off on her own legs, with Crystal in hand.

Especially when the snow following them has started to sparkle, unlike normal snowflakes. This is the first sign that the monster is near, Aegon Targaryen had told them.

It was getting closer, Calla knew. They managed to pull a good distance away from it after the Wall fell because the monster spent time absorbing the ruins of Castle Black… but every town they passed through slowed them down even more. From small settlements like Mole's Town to large castles like Last Hearth, they picked up many people along the way. But it was better than leaving them to die.

Make sacrifices.

…When they were in Last Hearth, they wasted precious time convincing the Umbers to evacuate— the house of giants was proud and stubborn, and their old feud with Donnor did not help. The Lady Umber, herself a Stark, taunted Donnor for running away from the threat, saying that he was not a worthy heir to the Kings of Winter. She did leave with them eventually, being an old woman that was not suited for fighting, but her husband and son stayed behind with hundreds of warriors to defend their castle. Calla did not want to imagine their fate. How could one be so proud as to send her family to certain death without spilling any tears?

You are no better, delaying the inevitable. You need to do what you must.

No, he didn't say that, Calla told herself, but Bloodraven's voice was still in her mind. It was not like he was here, talking to her. If that was the case, she would be asking him questions, for he had not told her what exactly she needed to sacrifice. It was more of a… suggestion. An echo of what Bloodraven said at the Wall.

She never saw the crow after that day. Many a time, Calla searched the sky, hoping to see a lone crow flying towards her— to no avail. Perhaps he would not come back, and Calla needed to figure it out herself.

Aegor's reaction to Bloodraven's return was… not well, she would say.

"He's a liar," Aegor had warned her, "He can't be trusted! You don't need to listen to what he says. Crystal has been proven to be unstoppable, you can kill that monster without his guidance."

The moment she told him about Bloodraven he had been tense. Immediately he discounted everything Bloodraven told her, telling her not to mind his words. But how could she when nothing else helped?

"He knows about my dreams, details that I haven't told anyone else. You can say it's from his power as a greenseer, but we have nothing else to go on. Despite how he… was like, I don't think he wishes for the destruction of Westeros," a tired Calla had replied. "I don't know what will happen if I'm to just attack the monster without listening to him. The risk is too big, we have no choice but to hear him out."

"Brynden is—" Aegor had paused, searching for words to describe his rival. "He's not someone we can understand. But we know what he did. Who he has killed."

Looking at his face, Calla had wondered if he was jealous of Bloodraven, the man who had once taken the woman he loved. But Calla was different, and he would know that she would not be tricked by him.

"He tried to kill us to preserve the Targaryen dynasty," Calla had answered, gesturing towards the three Targaryen boys, "whose heirs are here and their fate tied to us. I don't like the idea of listening to Bloodraven either but everything he said lines up. Right now we have the same goal— to kill that monster. He won't betray us when he has nothing left to betray."

Aegor had no good answer to that, but he never stopped urging her to focus on escaping the North instead of Bloodraven's words: She should not listen to him, Bloodraven would only lie and manipulate her, Bloodraven was their enemy no matter what. Calla could not understand why if not for his emotions getting the better of him. To only escape was to leave most of the North to die, and by the time the monster reached the Riverlands, it would be over. She needed to kill it as soon as possible.

Think, think, think. There must be a solution. Something hidden in Bloodraven's words. He was cryptic, but he must have said enough. So she must think of something before the monster could reach them again.

Think about what your Goddess showed you. How did your Hero kill the great evil?

The Skyasker… trapped it in a web. He then killed it with… Crystal. He lost everyone… Was that the sacrifice? But…

The blinding green light. The Web. Skyasker with his dragon and his sister. Calla thought back to the story she had seen once, desperately trying to recall more details. What else was there? What did the Skyasker have that she lacked?

The Skyasker. His appearance. He looked like Father, but Calla could not be him. His life, the one he loved, the one that loved him—

No, earlier.

…At the start, when he was born, Crystal was used. On an island. Which was blown to pieces. She never had that power, not even with Crystal. But then, she never saw Skyasker wielding such power as well… except…

That web.

Calla stopped. Is… that it?

"Calla?" Aegor asked her, reining in his horse, "Are you tired? You can take my horse for a while."

"I… I get it," Calla blurted out, her mouth dry, "I finally get it. There's no need for anyone to be sacrificed. I know how to kill it." Quickly she ran through her theory. It was a bold leap, but it was the only thing she could think of. It would work.

Aegor did not look happy. He frowned, his gaze on Calla hardening. He opened his mouth to say something, but a loud cheer interrupted him.

"Woah, you figured it out? Brilliant, Princess Calla!" Donnor clapped, riding closer to them, "Will my archers find their use in your plan?"

Calla smiled wryly, "No, I don't think so." In Last Hearth, Donnor had arranged a team of twenty archers with oil-soaked cloths on their arrowheads. They had been stationed at the end of their host, but the only thing they had set fire to was human corpses. People died on this march, not by the monster, but by the cold and the endless walk. They had managed not to starve them, by bringing the reserve of Last Hearth, but walking and sleeping in this freezing cold for weeks… Calla felt herself a slaver, forcing even the old and weak to endure this. Yet they must march to avoid the monster.

This was another reason why she needed to kill it now. "I need to face it alone without anyone around. There is an abandoned tower we just passed. I can return there and wait for it to come to me."

"Calla." Aegor extended a hand towards her— it seemed that he wanted to grab her shoulders, but he changed his mind at the last moment. "If what Aegon said is true, then the monster might catch up to us at any moment. You have seen the snow. It can't be more than an hour away, and we're so close to Winterfell where the secret of defeating the monster might be hidden. It's beyond foolish to fight the monster again when you haven't learned anything new about it."

"But I have— not of the monster, but Crystal. I know what Crystal can do. It's because the monster is so close that I need to face it as soon as possible, so that you and the other refugees have time to escape! Aegor, you know I'm right. You know that there's no way we can bring the people of the North to safety unless we kill the monster! We can't reach Winterfell, and even if we can, there's no guarantee that its walls will protect us more than The Wall did! You know that we're doomed unless—"

Aegor pulled her close. "You know that some words shouldn't be spoken out loud, Calla," he hissed, "Some people here can finish the march and escape with us if they're lucky, but if they hear your words and panic, the host will riot and scatter and everyone dies. As our commander, you should remember this."

Calla stared at him. You planned to let most of the North die, the accusation almost came to her lips, but she knew there was no point. Of course he did. It was in no way malicious, but simply a choice he did not enjoy. A necessity, as he would have called it, and she would have found it hard to disagree.

The logic seemed clear, it was better that some survived than none. But it was built on a false assumption, one that would cause the people of the North— no, the whole of Westeros to die.

"Aegor— I'm not doing this because of what Bloodraven said to me. I figured it out on my own. I can do this." Even though she was still not sure how. "And it's important that I stay as far away as possible from everyone else while I fight the monster. I was right when I told you that the monster is real. So please— let me do it."

Aegor's gaze softened. His grip on her shoulders slowly loosened. At last, he snorted lightly, "You will do it no matter what I say."

It was not a question. "Yes," Calla said, her eyes locked on his.

"Then go." Aegor pushed her away. "But so you know, I'll search for you myself if you don't return within time. I won't allow you to sacrifice yourself."

"Princess—" Calla heard Donnor calling out to her, but she had already started moving. She rushed through the host of people like a bolt of lightning, barely eyeing their blank faces and hopeless stares. At the end of the line a few heads with silver hair stood out, but they barely stayed in her sight. All she saw was the endless fields of snow, sparkling with no trail of anyone passing through.

Whiteness filled her sight, but the light of Crystal guided her to the only spot of colour. That abandoned tower stood alone, waiting for her arrival. Calla ran up the stairs, Crystal in hand.

And at the top, a crow awaited.

"You finally—"

Calla did not bother feigning surprise. "You didn't actually mean anyone has to be sacrificed," she stated with certainty, "You mean that the attack that can kill the monster is also the one that will destroy everything around me, just like how an Island was blown up when Skyasker was born. That was why Skyasker needed to make a web to trap the monster and himself— he knew that the killing blow would destroy everything around them."

Bloodraven made a sound of displeasure. "Slow, but salvageable," he commented, "Now, you should prepare. It's coming this way."

Calla did not need him to tell her. A quake, and the sky swiftly darkened. For a moment Calla worried this sad little tower would fall, but it still stood. As the monster reared its head beyond the mountains, she pointed Crystal in its direction and focused. "I just need to kill it… right?"

"Yes," the crow answered, "Your sword is powered by love. Think of killing it for all humanity, for the love you bear for every living soul in Westeros. But you mustn't think of yourself, for your love must be selfless."

Don't think of yourself… Bloodraven had never actually agreed with her statement that nobody had to be sacrificed. She could die from this. Bloodraven did not warn her… because he did not want her to know, she would presume. It would be easier to focus if she did not think there was a threat to her own life. Aegor was right that Bloodraven would never have her best interest in mind, and he was manipulating her. But Calla did not mind. What was the life of one woman compared to the whole Westeros?

I won't allow it if you're to sacrifice yourself.

…Aegor would understand. It was not certain that she would die, anyway. Perhaps she would see him again soon. In this world… or the next.

As the roaring snow and the quaking ground signalled the monster's arrival, Calla glared at the advancing white shadow with determination. She was nothing compared to it. An ant would have seemed bigger near the foot of a giant. It seemed absurd to think that she could harm it at all, never mind kill it.

But she could do it. She had to. For humanity—

Yet Crystal remained dim. "Why isn't it working?!" When the monster completely covered the sky, Calla screamed, "Last time it worked! why not now?"

"You must focus!" Bloodraven shrieked, the crow's sharp voice cutting through the monster's deafening advance, "The sword will work if you love this world!"

But the more desperate Calla was, the colder Crystal grew in her hands. Love. She felt drained, empty. Did she love this world? Was she so selfish that she could not put the world over her life?

"This is the only chance you can get, fool!" Bloodraven cried, as his wings flapped, "You must kill it now, or otherwise—"

"I know!" Calla shouted back, "But it's not… it's—" She could feel a wave of frustrating anger rising inside her: to herself, to Bloodraven, to Crystal. It was useless. The monster closed in, its white body covering Calla's view. Bloodraven flew away like last time, his scream still echoing in Calla's ears. She did not care. She needed to— she should dodge, she should flee—

The monster was just one step from crushing Calla, the sound it made piercing her eardrums, the ground below her threatening to collapse. Despite the overwhelming fear to escape, the hot anger boiling her blood finally won over. With a wordless cry she leapt forward, flame coming out of Crystal and burning straight into the monster's flesh.

She was surprised by how easy it was. Crystal sliced through stone and tree and snow that made up the monster just as deeply as it would to any other creature. And the monster stepped back, seemingly afraid of the fire.

Would it be that she did not need the full power of Crystal after all? Encouraged, she jumped up and slashed, hoping to deal fatal damage to the monster.

Then something shot through the air and grabbed her.

"What? No!" Calla struggled against the monster's white limb, one hand with thousands of fingers attached and those fingers themselves hands. Trees branches, animal claws, human fingers… those all attempted to catch and hurt and absorb her. Gripping Crystal tight, she gritted her teeth and released its fire within.

The limb burned and she was free, but seconds later another limb grabbed her by her waist, dragging her higher and higher. Calla freed herself from that one too, but another limb took its place. Then another. No matter how many times she burned them, there was always another.

More and more limbs enveloped her, trapping her inside a cage of white. Soon they will overwhelm me and make me lose my grip on Crystal, Calla thought desperately, but she could not escape. If only there was a window of time where those limbs retreated—

"Princess Calla!" somewhere far away, a boy cried.

All the limbs retreated at the same time, and Calla saw. Donnor and his archers. Those flaming arrows he was so proud of defied gravity and reached the monster, taking its attention from Calla. While she fell, she used Crystal's ability to make it to Donnor's side. Aside from Donnor, she also found Aelor and Aegon there, but the boys barely spared her a glance, their hands on their bows and eyes focused on the monster. Only Donnor greeted her.

"It worked!" Donnor wore a wide grin on his face, his cheeks red in excitement. "Princess, don't worry, I'll kill this monster for you!"

"Thank you for saving me, Donnor," Calla said, contemplating their next step. One look at the monster told her that it was not going as well as Donnor thought: if Calla's attack was a bee sting to the monster, then the archers' arrows were nothing more than a mosquito's bite. "We must retreat now. We can't kill it with just arrows."

"You don't say," Aegon snarled, "We came here because we thought you might need support, but can't you try to do something, Blackfyre? You're the one with a magical sword instead of plain old bow and arrows!"

"Flaming arrows!" Donnor emphasised as if that changed anything. "I had a hunch that you would need my help, so I—"

"Look out!" Calla pulled Donnor down from his horse, narrowly missing the monster's limb trying to grab him. They rolled on the ground, snow all over their armour. Untangling herself from him, Calla shouted, "Donnor, you can't stay here, you need to run! You all need to leave, right now!"

Donnor's archers scattered to not fall prey to the monster's limbs, as did the two Targaryens, but Donnor smiled at her fearlessly. "You're still holding my hand, Princess."

Calla immediately let go, but Donnor caught her hand again, clutching her fingers in his. "Tell me," he whispered urgently, "What's the plan?"

He knows this is bad, he's just putting on a mask of bravery. "I don't have one now," Calla had no time to hesitate. He needed to see how dire the situation was. "Donnor, I need you to lead your archers and retreat. You're their leader and they trust you. I'll delay the monster so that you can reach Winterfell safely."

"You were almost killed by the monster, Princess," Donnor shook his head, "I need to stay by your side to protect you."

"You saved me, but I saved you as well!" Calla did not believe they were having this conversation right now when the monster could kill them at any moment. It was not just the limbs now— it was so close that it could step on them. "Donnor Stark, you're the Lord of Winterfell, the ruler of the North. If you die here, the whole North will lose their will to fight! I need to get you to safety, so get moving!"

Calla pulled him by his hand, but— this was the moment he let go. "No, the North will lose their will to fight if their lord hides inside his castle walls instead of fighting the North's enemy!" His face had never looked so serious before. "Lady Umber is right, I'm not a worthy Lord of Winterfell unless I fight! And my fight will— I'll protect the North, by giving you the time to come up with a plan that can kill the monster!"

"Donnor!" Calla screamed, "No!" She leapt forward, Crystal providing the power for her to drag Donnor out before the monster's step smashed him to pieces— but multiple limbs struck, blocking her path.

By the time the dust settled, there was nothing left of the Stark boy. Crystal lit up in bright red, Calla held the flaming sword high, the sorrow and fury inside her raging. This is so pointless. You didn't have to die. I don't even— I don't even know what I can do to kill it!

But she could not let Donnor die for nothing. This death march, everyone that died at the Wall— she could not let their deaths be worthless. She must find a way. There might be some weak point on the monster that she had not found, some way that she could end it in one strike—

"Blackfyre!" Aelor yelled into her ears, "What are you doing? We need to go!"

Calla found Aelor and Aegon holding her down, using all of their strength to stop her from approaching the monster. "Let go of me!" She could just push them away, but for some reason, she did not. Shivering, she felt that her strength was burning away just like the flames on Crystal.

"Stark died to keep you alive! Are you going to throw it all away?" Aegon reasoned with her, "He's right that you're our only hope against the monster, and so you must live!"

"What good will it do…" Tears spilt out of Calla's eyes, "If your only hope is as useless as I am? I can't… I failed—"

"Calla!" Aegor's voice came like a light in the darkness. He rode to her side and pulled her up his horse, seating her in front of him and immediately turned around. Aegon and Aelor sat on top of their own ride and followed behind.

Aegor did not ask her any questions. Perhaps he had no time, or perhaps it was in consideration of her. But she still needed to tell him. "Donnor… is dead."

"This is bad," Aegor replied, "but Winterfell had already opened its gate for us. The North will follow us. They have no choice now."

Calla shook her head, "He died for me. But I failed him," a sob came from her throat, "I failed everyone."

Aegor held her closer in his chest, "This burden shouldn't be yours to bear," amongst all the screaming, shouting, and the land quaking, his voice was unbelievably soft, "Calla, I promise you, we'll find a way out of this. Together."

Feeling his warmth, Calla cried, loud as a baby's first, for she felt herself as useless and helpless as a newborn. She was chosen by Crystal… but she could not use its full strength.

She could not love the world selflessly,

And as a result, countless people die for it.

Redeeming myself from the slaughter in King's Landing? Earning forgiveness, and becoming a hero worthy of Crystal?

No, no, no…

Since the first day I activated Crystal's power, my hands were tainted by blood.

I am, and have always been…

A murderer.

Donnor was a hero. Those Targaryen boys are heroes. They fought against an opponent they knew they could never defeat, even if they could die at any moment. I'm not like them.

Someone like me… can never save the world.