"Oh my God! This family!" says every British witch, wizard, and Squib when the hear about the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

In another universe, Petunia Evans was bitter for being a Muggle and jealous of her sister's magic. In this one, not only they were both witches, but also Parselmouths.

Also, in this universe, the three Black sisters are each exactly four year younger.

This universe also has Pokémon and characters from both Pokémon and Sabrina: the Animated Series. I own nothing.

Birthdays of the five Black cousins in this universe:

Bellatrix: September 30th, 1955

Andromeda: October 12th, 1957

Narcissa: November 13th, 1959

Sirius: November 3rd, 1959

Regulus: May 5th, 1961

Wednesday, September 1st, 1971

The Hogwarts Express

Sirius was looking for an empty compartment.

"May I sit there?" he asked the boy with messy black hair.

"Certainly!"

"My name is Sirius Black."

"My name is James Potter."

"Are you related to Charlus and Dorea Potter?"

"They are my parents." In another universe, they are his uncle and aunt, but in this one, they are his parents.

"So you're my first cousin once removed."

"Cool!"

The two boys then saw two people entering the compartment.

"You better be in Slytherin," said a boy's voice.

"Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I would leave, wouldn't you?" James asked Sirius.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," said Sirius.

"Blimey," said James, "and I thought you seemed all right!"

"I used to think like you until Petunia Evans got Sorted into Slytherin despite being a Muggle-born."

"You know about my sister? Oh! I forget to introduce myself. I am Lily Evans, and this is my friend Severus Snape."

"I am Sirius Black, and this is James Potter. My whole family was shocked when they learned a Muggle-born can be a Parselmouth and get Sorted into Slytherin. My cousins Andy and Cissy and my brother Reggie started to reconsider what we were taught about Muggle-borns, but the rest still hate them."

"What's Cassiopeia Black to you?" Snape asked Sirius.

"She's my great-aunt, why?"

"She's my grandmother."

"So, your mother must be Eileen Prince. Aunt Cassie always talks about how her daughter disgraced herself by marrying a Muggle. I don't see a problem with marrying a Muggle."

"You would be saying something else if you met my father. He hates magic and everything."

"I forgot to ask you James. Which House do you hope to get Sorted in?" asked Sirius.

James lifted an invisible sword.

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy—"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" replied James.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

The Great Hall

Some excerpts of the Sorting:

"Abbott, Alice"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

[….]

"Black, Narcissa"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Black, Sirius"

Sirius waved at his returning cousin and put the Hat on his head.

"I can see that you some Gryffindor in you. You are brave and impulsive."

"Please Slytherin."

"You would do great in Gryffindor, but you would also do great in Slytherin."

"I want to be with my cousins now and with my brother in the future. I used to think Slytherin was all bad until Petunia Evans got Sorted in it."

"I can see that. I can also see that your cousins and brother care more about you than your own parents, and that you five have always been as thick as thieves and your eldest cousin Bellatrix is your soulmate. Plus, you do have some Slytherin in you. You are ambitious, you can be cunning, you are only loyal to those you love, you are determined, you are clever, you don't care about the rules, and still share the Black family madness. I can see how many times you planned on how to poison your unbearable mother and I commend you on that. The choice is yours."

"Then I choose Slytherin."

"Very well. Then it will be SLYTHERIN!"

Sirius' cousins were clapping from the Slytherin table.

[…]

"Flan, Clark"

"RAVENCLAW!"

[…]

"Kitmai, Shirona"

"RAVENCLAW!"

[…]

"Evans, Lily"

"SLYTHERIN!"

[…]

"Longbottom, Frank"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

[…]

"Lupin, Remus"

"RAVENCLAW!"

[…]

"Macdonald, Mary"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

[…]

"McKinnon, Marlene"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

[…]

"Meadowes, Dorcas"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

[…]

"Pettigrew, Peter"

"SLYTHERIN!" shouted the Hat after more than five minutes of deliberation.

[…]

"Potter, James"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

[…]

"Snape, Severus"

"SLYTHERIN!"

[…]

"Spellman, Edward"

"RAVENCLAW"

[…]

"Vance, Emmeline"

"RAVENCLAW!"

[…]

When Sirius got to the Slytherin table, Bellatrix was the first to speak.

"Siri, what took you so long?"

"The Hat gave me the choice between Gryffindor and Slytherin. I chose Slytherin to be with my real family, which is you guys and Reggie. The Hat also commended me on my plans to kill Mother."

The three Black sisters chuckled, all feeling the same about Walburga Black, especially Bellatrix.

"How do you want to kill out dear aunt Walburga?" asked Andy.

"Maybe by poisoning her."

"Unfortunately Siri, I think Aunt Walburga is immune to poison given she's Satan's daughter," said Bella.

"People must think we must be really crazy if they hear us talking about killing our aunt."

"Cissy, the first rule of being a Black is to be mad. Plus, they would change their mind after meeting dear Aunt Walburga," said Bella.

"I can't wait for next year. Once Reggie comes, all five of us will together again," said Siri.

"That's until Bella graduates, but it would be really nice," said Andy.

"We aren't just cousins, we are practically siblings since our parents don't care about us and we are each other's only first cousins," said Cissy.

The Slytherin Common Room

"Welcome to Slytherin House," started Bellatrix Black, in her capacity as a fifth-year Prefect, "the House of ambition and cunning, also known as the House of the Snake, the House of Salazar Slytherin, and the best House. This will be your home for the next seven years, so you better not fight each other. If you have a problem with someone, discuss it with a Prefect or with our Head of House, Professor Slughorn, and not don't air our dirty laundry in front of other Houses. Slytherins must always present a united front because the other Houses are jealous of us and think that we are evil. Finally, remember that Hogwarts has a House points system, good behaviour ears you House points while bad behaviour does the opposite, so do not embarrass Slytherin House. If you have difficulties with a subject, you can check the list of tutors on the Announcements Board. Slytherin cares very much about its students' success, and we are one of the only two Houses offering this service, the other obviously being Ravenclaw. This is it for now, if there's any thing new that we need to announce, we will either gather you or post it on the Announcements Board, which is located at the back of the room, near the blackboard. Now, good night!"

A.N.

For those who didn't read the books, Snape isn't related to Sirius in canon, but I decided to make them in this fic, inspired by another fic.

More about characters from Sabrina: the Animated Series.

Hilda Spellman: Hufflepuff third-year. Will marry Salem Saberhagen American father and English mother.

Zelda Spellman: Ravenclaw fifth-year Prefect. Older sister of Hilda and Edward. Wears glasses.

Edward Spellman: Ravenclaw first-year. Best friends with Clark Flan. Will later marry a Muggle. Sabrina's father.

Clark Flan: Chloe's father (unnamed in STAS). Ravenclaw first-year. Best friends with Edward Spellman. Squib. He has a male Espurr to help him with life in the Wizarding World and at Hogwarts. African-American father and English mother.

Salem Saberhagen: Slytherin third-year. In love with Hilda Spellman. German father and English mother.

More about characters from Pokémon:

Shirona Kitami: Cynthia from Pokémon. Shirona is her Japanese name and Kitami is the IRL equivalent of Celestic Town. She has a female Gible. Japanese father and English mother.