On to Box Hill


Emma had had it all carefully planned out.

She had spent longer than she'd care to mention determining the carriage seating as to have everyone feeling welcome and with the understanding that Mrs. Elton would not wish to be seated separately from Mr. Elton.

And for this reason, it was almost the most galling thing when Mrs. Elton looked at the train of carriages waiting with wide eyes and an unflattering grimace.

"Do you recall when we spoke of this day? Do you recall that we had discussed the idea of a donkey? I thought we had an understanding? I thought we had an understanding about the donkey," she told Emma in a rather loud aside.

Emma pursed her lips and moved to comment but then Mrs. Elton was speaking again, "Yes, I'm sure of it. I remember it as clear as day. I had said how majestic it would be to arrive at the hill on a donkey or perhaps a pace of donkeys or maybe just for Elton and me— if everyone else preferred not to. I thought that we, Elton and I could go on ahead or bring up the rear whichever the case may be—"

"I've made no provision for a donkey or a pace of donkeys," Emma admitted, watching the other woman's expression falter into one that would likely be described as pained to another bystander—Emma would have described it as pouting for she knew the woman's motives and was not moved by the almost put on expression.

"But I did mention it to you, I am very sure of it. And you said maybe a donkey would be fitting for someone from London but that Highbury folk aren't much for traveling by that method. I thought for sure that meant you'd have a donkey for me at least as I am one such Londoner," she told her. "I had it in my head, well you know how you imagine things and you think it will be just so and then well—then sometimes reality is a cruel disappointment. I'm just so surprised not to see a donkey, at least one, with this being my day an all,"

"Ah, please do not be offended, I am sorry it is not as you imagined but it seemed a donkey was not feasible for this afternoon's venture, I felt intrinsically that you would understand,"

The non-plus expression on Mrs. Elton's face was likely the only expression yet that Emma disliked more than her pouting.

It was clear to Emma all at once that the woman did not understand, and likely would hold the action against her for the foreseeable future.

She was determined that each carriage would at least have one gentleman for protection—not that she herself feared gypsies –she thought the rumors were a touch overrated. It followed that she had Mrs. Goddard, Herself, George and Harriet were in the lead carriage. The middle carriage held Miss Bates, Jane, Frank and the last carriage Mr. Weston, Mrs. Elton & Mr. Elton in the rear carriage. And she was sorry for Mr. Weston but not sorry for Frank, and after all, it was already decided after that dinner, which seemed ages ago now, that she would not place Jane with Mrs. Elton to be henpecked and Emma knew that she herself could not have survived the journey—especially not so soon after having a toe to toe with Mrs. Elton! Frank would hear Ms. Bates ramble endlessly no doubt and Mr. Weston would hear heaven knows what from the ridiculous Mrs. Elton but those were the lesser of the evils.

If the travel accommodations were a source of dissatisfaction then the journey itself was the true opposite –at least in Emma's opinion—she could not vouch for Mrs. Elton's thoughts on it -perhaps to some, the view was distorted from the window of the carriage where no such difficultly would be found atop a braying quadruped.

And if the journey was so agreeable then the view from the top of the hill was intensely gratifying –it was one that no sketch could do justice –not the one it the book lent by Harriet and Emma was certain not by her own hand either. And if the walk to the top of the hill was rather grueling, then sitting at once with a sketch pad and feeling her own heartbeat was quite another sensation all together—listening to the wind roll past through the birch trees made her wish to lay back on the grass and drink it all in and for a short time she did—until the gentlemen arrived at the top escorting Ms. Bates and Mrs. Goddard.

"Isn't it sensational?" Emma asked the others as they topped the hill, "Please sit, catch your breath and then we can continue to the picnic spot just over the crest there," she motioned to a stop just past the trees, a powder wig of a footman and the shoulders of his blue and gold Donwell livery could be seen but nothing else.

Emma herself was as excited as anyone could be and she had planned it all but she was curious to see if all had come to fruition the way she had expected.

Courses of food, beef and chicken pies, sweet tarts, an overwhelming troop of confections, fruit of many types and locations, cold meats, choice cheeses, pastries, a variety of pickled vegetables and fresh ones, dips, salads with creams and sauces, tea sandwiches, various types of beverages, parfaits, cakes small and large and pies of several varieties. The spread was almost endless and it Emma positively knew it had brought cook great joy in the co-planning and carrying out.

"Why! This is a feast to be sure, there is food enough for a small army," Mr. Weston had exclaimed seeing the spread it all its grandeur.

"Well, we are some miles from Donwell, I did not want to forget anything, or have anyone go without. And it can be hard to know what everyone would like best, " Emma told him—it was different being out of doors than it was at home—for at-home everything was close at hand –not the case with being away at Box Hill.

"It was my idea that we might all sit on the picnic blankets spread out and enjoy the pastoral landscape, though if anyone wishes to have a chair or cushion we have those enough as well,"

"Well, if it is your idea, then we must! Mustn't we Elton?" Mrs. E chimed in loudly and with an unnaturally sugar-coated tone, almost as if she was mocking as she spoke it out, others perhaps might not have noticed the demeanor but Emma certainly did.

Without future instruction Mrs. Elton plopped unceremoniously on top a blanket top—disregarding the offer of a cushion. Her husband calmly joined her but sat in a gentler style.

"Isn't it splendid scenery?" Emma asked Harriet who nodded agreeably before taking a bite of beef pie.

"It is all very delicious," Jane told her, from her spot across the blanket and it was the loudest Emma had ever heard her speak as if being out of doors unlocked something within the girl soul that allowed her some form of confidence not otherwise possessed.

"Do you think anyone can count every shade of green?" Emma asked again surveilling the landscape. It was so vast and seemingly all-consuming –the trees, rich mosses and multivariate greens in the pasture lands and bright grasses next to the lake rich with algae below the hill.

"No one would have a hope to," Frank Churchill told her, moving to sit next to her after he loaded up a second plate, this one with meats and cheeses and red grapes.

Frank seemed content to look outward at the landscape a little while before he seemed to have some agenda to get people talking.

"Now, this I offer to all –what do you think is better—and I know each will have their opinion and remember I make no mention of a right answer—but to all who consider the question, which is deemed better –a love match or a marriage arranged to suit the interest of both parties? For every happy couple that is lucky enough to find love there seems and equally happy couple who has found a convenient system that has suited them. And each side has compelling stories. A young man or woman who throws it all overboard for a love not entirely approved of by his or her family." On that note, his eyes roved the crowd but he did not stop on anyone in particular. "Or perhaps a woman of means looking for rank or title or a man seeking to better his fortune. Perhaps the younger son of a wealthy man whose brother will inherit instead, who is looking to make his own fortune some other way—" The last he tossed towards Elton, and then continued his question after a beat, "We all can think of examples of each, but which is better?"

"Well, of Elton and myself –it isn't a surprise to any of you but we were not a love match but rather an arrangement that was agreeable to both parties and we have made it suit us very well indeed, have we not Phillip?"

"Very right indeed," Mr. Elton agreed.

"And what about you Emma, it is a not a secret that you were married on rather short notice, you must think well of marriages of convenience, do you not" Mrs. Elton poked out, the same sweet smile on her face as was present in her demeanor prior.

"I might speak for myself of this topic," Emma told her a little flatly, feeling perturbed at the other woman's attempt to put words in her mouth. "When I think on my personal experience, I am not sure I would know how to split the two notions for I married the man I have loved all my life and it happened with expedient timing. I'm not sure I can rightly vouch for either category,"

Mrs. Elton looked a little disconcerted not to have made her mark in some way.

"Ah, very right Emma, I had not considered that the notions may not be mutually exclusive concepts." Frank offered.

"Stimulating conversation everyone, I think I should propose a toast to Mrs. Knightley for such expert planning and wonderful execution –today was an event to remember. It was an accomplishment of such scale and precision. Who else could have pulled it off to this magnitude? Our host is talented beyond her years—no, let us say she is talented beyond her every other quality—esteem, beauty, personality, perfection, taste –all of it! She is a force to be reckoned with-a woman with determination, creativity, vision, and a gossamer-vailed plan and the ability to execute it wonderfully –truly beyond that of any other, " Emma nudged him sharply with her elbow. She was beginning to redden at his praise and she felt need to put an end to it.

He cleared his throat and continued, "Ah, and all with the hopes of welcoming, very finely I must say, the new Mrs. Elton to our community and a feat so well done. With this in mind I think it is only fitting that we treat our hostess to a few choice options, either one thing very clever, be it prose or verse, two things moderately clever or three things very dull indeed," Frank announced and the last part earned a dry chuckle from Mr. Weston. "Oh and feel no embarrassment, for she promises she will laugh heartily at all of them," Frank concluded with all the vigor of a magician or well-paid entertainer in his delivery.

Miss Bates began, a soft chuckle to begin, after clearing her throat lightly, "Well, then I shall do very well at your game, Mrs. Knightley." She promised.

She had everyone's full attention.

"Three things very dull indeed. That one will be tailor-made for me." She promised, her mouth curling up with hints of a smile. "I have so many possibilities, for I was just thinking about how hot it is, how we will keep the flies off our pastries, how mother will be doing at home, how pretty Jane looks," at that she paused for a moment and gave Jane a wide smile, "What extraordinary shapes the clouds make one minute and another the next. I'm not sure it will be altogether entertaining for Mrs. Knightley. But If Mr. Churchill insists, oh yes, I can be relied upon to say three dull things as soon as I open my mouth." She laughed then, looking around to others for their laughter and approval.

It was not meant as a barb, it was merely one of those moments where her tongue crafted words unchecked by her mind.

"Oh, but there is a difficulty!" She interjected gaily. "You will be limited as to number, only three mind you!" Emma offered as quasi-explanation, matching Miss Bates' own laughing tone.

And just like that, you could almost have heard a pin drop. The laughter died on Miss Bates' lips the moment Emma had finished her sentence. It was such a shock; Emma almost couldn't comprehend the woman's crestfallen expression. Her own laughter faded as her eyes roved around the circle only to be met with flat faces and then awkward silence.

It had not been funny, no one else had found humour in it and if she had to guess, at least looking to George's own expression –it wasn't merely unfunny, it was an annoyance, at least that was what she assumed had soured his expression entirely.

Miss Bates winced, "I see what she means. Be assured, I will try and hold my tongue. I had not meant to be so very disagreeable today. I get carried away some times and forget myself, my apologies," she offered without any humour to speak of.

Emma opened her mouth and closed it quickly. She did not have the map of navigating out of this situation. She felt like one in a riverboat where the water was shifting beneath the boat faster than she could comprehend, and there were many forks in the river ahead and it was unclear which one she was meant to be on and as it was time to make such a choice the boat began taking on water, faster than she could paddle or scoop it out.

It was as if time stopped, she looked at her own fingers for a few moments—unable to meet anyone else's eye, especially not her husband's for she knew exactly what his eyes would hold. To take in his disappointment would be gut-wrenching and she was looking to stave it off for as long as possible.

The resounding silence could not remain forever; she knew it but somehow was equally startled by it when it broke.

"Mrs. Knightley must excuse me, excuse Mr.E and Knightley, Jane. We have nothing clever to say, not one of us." Mrs. Elton told her speaking for the entire left side of the picnic blanket as if she was their member of parliament, and she almost felt as if the woman was gloating by merely her tone. When Emma did raise her eyes to the woman's visage she saw a haughty, with a half-smirking look that matched—it was as if she took some personal victory in Emma's misstep.

"Oh, yes, you must excuse me," Mr. E echoed. "I have nothing to say that could possibly entertain Mrs. Knightley. Shall we walk, Augusta? Come, Jane."

Emma's attention left the rustling of Mrs. Elton's skirt and the gentle clatter of china and forks as they placed their plates and cutlery to the blanket and retreated. It turned to Frank as he spoke.

"Happy couple! How well they suit each other!" Emma heard his sarcasm, she wasn't sure that others would detect it. "They were lucky to find each other. To think they only had a few weeks' acquaintance in a public place! How can you learn a person's disposition if you meet them by chance in Bath? It is only by seeing women in their own homes, amongst their own set, just as they always are, that you can really form a proper judgement. How many a man has committed himself on short acquaintance and regretted it for the rest of his life?"

Jane from her spot a few cushions away gurgled out a word that sounded like, 'Maybe' and then seemed to cough lightly—not in the way of sickness or a respiratory complaint but it the way she had done many times in Emma's company –the woman was so unsure of herself it seemed she often cleared her throat or coughed to cover over the agitation—probably unknowingly, likely somewhat of a nervous behaviour. The cough gave the word further disguise and so Emma was surprised Frank had heard her at all because he sat to Emma's right and was further away from Jane

"I'm sorry, you were saying?" He asked, a terse edge to his tone that was not often found there.

Her eyes looked like wide and almost frightened, "Maybe, well that is maybe some do, attach themselves hastily. Maybe some do regret their decision." She seemed to grow more and more confident as the words left her and her voice gain a solid measure that almost seemed sage, "There is time to recover, surely? A lifetime, if one has the will. I mean, it is only weak characters who are determined they will be unhappy."

It was Frank's turn to be wide-eyed and voiceless; he stared at her as if her words had been profound somehow. Emma found them to be merely a dramatic flavor of Jane's altogether good personality and enthusiasm and tireless work ethic –and a bit dogmatic and preachy. That perhaps was only Emma's own mood for she wanted nothing more than to sink into misery due to her own folly and she didn't particularly want to add 'weak character' to her growing list of shortcomings.

It was as if Jane's confidence was fully spent on her bold statement moments before, for she when she spoke again it was soft and had the same warbling quality of her frightened-to-speak self, "I think I, er, I should have gone with the Eltons to, erm, explore." She told the few that remained, for George and Mr. Weston had retreated with the Eltons though in the opposite direction of the couple—Mr. Weston asking George about showing him the exact species of Hogweed that would make his horses sick.

"Come, Aunt, let me help you."

"Thank you, my dear."

Jane was leaving as Frank continued again loudly. "When I come to marry, someone else will have to choose my wife for me. Will you choose a wife for me? I know I'll like anyone you choose." speaking only to Emma this time for Harriet and Mrs. Goddard had follow after Jane. "I'm in no hurry. Find one for me. Adopt her. Educate her."

Emma interjected, "Educate her? Though I warn my Greek and arithmetic were always very poor subjects! I suspect you mean that I should make her like myself—" she told him.

"By all means, if you can." He laughed then, sounding more his normal self.

"Very well. I undertake your commission. You shall have a very charming wife." She promised, thinking in her mind that Harriet might be just the one.

"She must be very lively and have eyes that are just the same shade as yours."

Emma chuckled and batted at him as if to have him stop with the flattery. Harriet's eyes were nothing like hers though they would have to do and they would do if she could help him see her best most amiable qualities.

"I'll go abroad for a couple of years and when I return, I shall come to claim my wife,"

Silence came after that. And it left Emma to her own thoughts.

Emma sighed, this wasn't really how she had envisioned it –the parties all fractured into fragmented groups and it was sadly her doing after all.

"I might walk as well," Emma told Frank.

"I don't know how anyone can walk in this heat. I'm going to leave this country, just as soon as I can book a ticket." He told her sounding as disagreeable as he had when arriving to Donwell earlier in the morning.

"I'll leave you to the shade then, I would like to see the view again. I intend to enjoy the rest of the day." She told him, putting on the happy expression as a mask and really she just wanted to sit alone awhile, maybe with the guise of sketching to keep people from speculating on her solitude.

"Emma!"George had found her then; she had been hunched over the sketchbook with pencil rather stagnant bordering on immobile for was must have been three-quarters of an hour.

She did not feel fully ready for this, to see him, to see his look of displeasure and disappointment –for it would surely be his look. But there was no other thing for it but to face it—she just did not want to now. Not now with all these people and with a carriage journey home—how would she be expected to keep from tears if he relayed to her the details of his disappointment?

She cut in with something to change the trajectory of the meeting, "Have you seen Harriet? I think it's time to leave. I have made Mr. Weston my official keeper of the time and I am certain that he will be calling us all back at any moment."

"Emma! I must- I must speak with you."

"Please let's not, I understand you mean to have it out with me but not here," she told him.

"And where would be better, down below by the carriages—where everyone will be in earshot? No, I will not embarrass you but let us remember Miss Bates did not enjoy that luxury. I cannot see you behaving so without speaking my mind. And the topic will not be delayed any longer. It was very badly done, Emma! I am shocked that you could be so unfeeling towards Miss Bates! I did not think it possible! A woman of her age and situation—

Emma finally just in feeling as if her heart would burst at his words, it was as if he thought she had intentionally brought harm and pain to Miss Bates. She was guilty of the outcome, yes but could not own malice or intentionality "I couldn't help it. How could I? Nobody could have resisted. It was merely a joke, and it felt as if it were presented on a silver platter –nobody could have resisted and having the quickest wit I merely spoke it out first!"

"Wit? Is that what you'll be calling it," he looked venomous then. The word 'wit' appearing as if it curdled on his tongue based on the expression on his face.

"The quickest tongue is what I meant by it and yes, I dare say everyone was thinking it! And I do not think it was so very bad." And then the lie felt thick on her tongue for she could still see the woman's trembling continence and hurt eyes in her mind, "And I—well I dare say she didn't understand."

The lie had no impact, as it was not convincing, George shook his head as if he knew her so completely that her motives were plain to him as well. He assertively rebutted, "I assure you, she did! She has talked of nothing else since. I wish you could have heard her, and then maybe you would have a shred of contriteness about you. I expected more from you in that regard Emma, but she has talked of nothing else, saying how patient you must have been with her all these years when you find her company so tiresome!" the last line was from him with a growl and she knew instantly how angry he was at her.

She blinked back tears, "I'm sorry. Of course, she is very good-hearted, everybody knows, but she is also, you must admit, a little bit ridiculous!"

"Yes! And if she were prosperous, if she was a woman of fortune, I would allow you some liberties. If only she was your equal but she is not! She is poor, Emma. She once lived comfortably, but now the longer she lives, the poorer her situation will be. You know full well their situation! She should attract your compassion, not your contempt. This was badly done, Emma!"

She was crying then, and it seemed this too he possibly deemed some sort of scheme.

He said it all very flatly, in the same tone he might use giving a dictate a shopping list to his overseer William Larkin, "Compose yourself" he gave her his kerchief as he said it, and continued "and then walk down to the base of the hill and sit in our carriage. I'll round up the others and I'll join Miss Bates in her carriage for their journey home to ensure everything is as smoothed over as it can be for this afternoon."


A/N: Okay, so as a personal life update I took advice from you guys-you guys said to wait until all professional business concludes before any 'asking out' -I'm a huge 'if its meant to be it will be' person. So on the day of the house possession, I talked myself into asking him to coffee -I'd planned to do it at the end as an "It's been nice getting to know you, let me know if you'd ever want to go for a coffee-" casual thing. ;)

I didn't sleep well the night before I was so nervous!

The most hilarious part was that he didn't meet us for that! The keys were left behind in a coded box and a gift on the counter -I have never IN MY LIFE heard of a realtor not being there for the handing over the keys. That possibility never crossed my mind! BUT it answered my question -if he had had ANY interest aside from professional he'd certainly have been there to give the keys and well wishes.

Glad I didn't jump the gun! But boo-life can really suck sometimes! It was a fun little crush while it lasted. Ah well, moving on!

With the chapter here it finally is! Thoughts? I know some of you hoped for a different outcome-I honestly considered it but I couldn't do Box Hill without the drama. Any guesses on what George does next?

I love hearing from you all, reviews literally make my day and bring so much joy!