Dedicated to TheMajesticDolphin: Your Fancybottom, Fanbutt, Featherfanny peacocks are here, but with a couple of name changes.
A few dialogue mistakes are made on purpose because Draco is trying to mimic his father.
Draco stood on the edge of the garden, clapping his hands and called, "Snitch Wigglebottom Malfoy, come here this instant!"
There was a loud woof as the little golden retriever came bounding through the beautiful rhododendrons, crushing them under his paws. He skidded to a halt near Draco's feet, his tongue lolling and his tail wagging in delight. Snitch barked and gazed up at Draco as he tried to climb the boy's leg.
"Mother is most unpleased by your actions, Snitch," Draco said, trying to look as majestic as his father by standing up straight and squaring his shoulders. He even leaned on a little stick (which he had decorated with a smiley to resemble his father's cane).
Snitch whined almost apologetically at Draco's tone, his ears and tail drooping in despair. Draco couldn't help himself; he crouched down and ruffled Snitch's platinum-blond fur. The puppy immediately perked up at the gentle touch, his tail wagging once again.
"Mother says we're messing up her garden, and she wants us to play somewhere else," Draco continued, still petting Snitch's head. The puppy was in desperate need of a haircut, and every time Draco ruffled the fur on his head, Snitch's fur fell over his eyes, covering them for a moment, before uncovering them.
Draco clenched the stick in between his teeth to pick Snitch up. He began to make his way towards the enormous playpen his parents had installed for him on his fifth birthday. It consisted of a few slides, a couple of swings, see-saws, and even a set of monkey bars.
Draco tried saying something to Snitch, but because the stick was in his mouth, Snitch didn't understand. He simply huffed and waddled faster to the slides.
When they reached the playpen, Draco set Snitch down on the cool grass and pointed at the slide. "Snitch, slide!"
Snitch awkwardly climbed up the stairs, his legs flailing as he failed to find some traction. He rolled down the little slide, his ears almost getting caught under his feet. Draco laughed as he followed him down, and the two best friends began trying to climb up the slide but failed and fell over repeatedly.
After they were tired of the slides, they made their way to the swing-set. The brilliant thing about the magical swings was that Draco didn't need to kick his legs back and forth for it to go faster; the swings would go as fast as he wished—but of course, they would keep him safely locked in.
Draco hopped onto the swing, and Snitch whined and wagged his tail hopefully. Draco grinned and leaned down, almost falling off in his attempt, to pick Snitch up. The boy finally managed to hold Snitch under his arm, Draco hoisted himself up, grimacing at how heavy Snitch felt. Snitch needs to go on a diet, like Mother's.
Draco cleared his throat and said, "Up!"
The swing immediately began to move slowly, and Snitch yipped in excitement. Draco grinned and said, "You like that? Okay, we'll go faster."
The swing reacted to Draco's words, and soon, Draco and Snitch were flying through the air, both laughing and squealing in delight. Snitch's long ears flapped in the wind, and he stuck his tongue out and scrunched his nose. Draco let go of the swing, holding Snitch up with both hands, trusting the magic to keep them both safe.
An hour later, Draco sat cross-legged on the grass, panting for breath. Keeping up with Snitch was hard work; the puppy often refused to let Draco rest while they were in the middle of their playtime. Just then, Snitch came running. Although Draco tried to stop Snitch from knocking him over by raising his hands, Snitch leapt onto him and they went tumbling to the ground in a heap.
With his tail wagging, Snitch began licking Draco's face, almost making his blond hair stand on its ends. Draco squealed, laughed, and tried to push him away. "You're a minace to society!" Draco cried, mimicking, albeit incorrectly, his father's words and giggling at Snitch.
Snitch let out a happy 'woof' and crouched down, wiggling his bottom playfully. Draco grinned, picked up his cane, and flung it as far away as possible. It sailed through the air and landed a few feet away. Snitch barked and ran after it, dragging the stick back with his mouth as soon as he could, his tail still wagging.
Draco beamed and patted the overexcited puppy's head. He sat there on the ground and hurled the stick for Snitch again. And again. And again.
He was in the process of repeating it one more time when Snitch began barking at something behind Draco in excitement. Draco turned to look and found the four Malfoy peacocks strutting over to them.
He clapped his hands, which almost scared the birds away. Snitch excitedly ran up to the peacocks and nipped at their legs, making them caw and squawk in indignation.
Draco yelled, "Snitch! Heel!"
Snitch ran back to Draco's side, and the white peacocks were free to come a bit closer to them. The bravest one of all even managed to peck at Draco's shiny hair with its beak, and Draco scowled and batted it away. "Stop it… Oh, I should name you all!"
Draco watched as Snitch leapt at the peacock, startling it with his enthusiasm. The peacock let out a mighty squawk and began to run in the opposite direction, its long tail feathers jiggling up and down fiercely.
"Aha!" Draco cried in excitement, raising his hands up. Pointing at the terrified peacock, he declared, "I'll name you Mister James Jigglebottom!"
He grinned and watched Snitch chase the peacock for a few moments before he turned to the other peacocks, who were busy pecking at the ground and looking for ants.
Draco pursed his lips and propped his chin on his palm, watching them. One of the peacocks strutted and fanned its beautiful white feathers, trilling sweetly. Draco's eyes widened and he tilted his head back to look at all the feathers. They were even bigger than his father!
Draco hummed and nodded. "And you'll be Miss Fancybottom because you're very fancy like Mother's friends who come for tea. Oh, I know! You can get married to Mister Jigglebottom and have lots of beautiful babies! That'll be wonderful!"
Just then, he was interrupted by Snitch, who came running toward him, barking excitedly. He hopped into Draco's lap, curled up in a ball, and batted at Draco's hands playfully. The blond grinned and let Snitch lick his fingers, his heart swelling with love for the puppy.
One of the peacocks warbled and hopped closer to them. It sat down next to Draco and pressed its head against his arm, demanding attention. Draco cautiously ran his hand over the peacock's back, in awe of how beautiful it was. "I'll call you Snuggles because you like to snuggle."
Snitch, on the other hand, was annoyed. He growled and tried to kick the peacock's side, but Draco quickly appeased him by scratching his belly. Snitch let out a soft growl, closing his eyes, and Draco murmured, "Good doggy."
The peacock attempted to headbutt Draco, who scowled and said, "Stop it, Snuggles. Snitch will get mad."
To prove Draco's point, Snitch raised his head and growled at the peacock, who let out a shrill scream and stormed away from them in anger. Draco rolled his eyes and called out to it, "Your name is now Snuggles Father Malfoy. Cause you're like Father when he's angry."
The peacock let out another shriek and left to find better pastures.
"Snuggles will be fine," Draco said, ruffling Snitch's fur. "Ooh, let's go play hide and seek with Mister James Jigglebottom and Miss Fancybottom… and that one. I'll have to name him later."
Later that evening, when Lucius arrived at the Manor from a meeting with an acquaintance, the first thing he saw when he entered the foyer was one of the white peacocks perched on top of the chandelier, gently swaying back and forth.
Lucius stiffened at the sight, trying to figure out how, in Merlin's name, had the peacock found its way into the house. Lucius took a deep breath in to calm himself and called out, "Why is there a peacock swinging on the chandelier?"
A loud thud resonated through the hallway before Draco and that damned pup came sprinting towards Lucius. The puppy skidded when he tried to stop, but he was unable to and ended up headbutting Lucius' ankle. Lucius gritted his teeth and was about to kick the dog away when Draco whooped and bellowed, "There you are, Bob! You won! Come on down now!"
"Who's Bob?" Lucius couldn't help but ask.
"Bob's Snuggle's best friend, and he's Miss Fancybottom's brother, but Mister James Jigglebottom doesn't like him," Draco announced without hesitation. He waved his arms over his head and gestured to the peacock still swinging overhead. "Come down, Bob!"
"You named the peacocks?" Lucius questioned, reaching up to rub his temple.
"Yes, Father. Snuggles Father Malfoy and Mister James Jigglebottom are in the kitchen with the house-elves eating cheese crisps. And Miss Fancybottom is… she's in the hot tub," Draco said happily. "Please don't disturb her. She needs her rest."
But we don't have a peahen? Lucius squinted, trying to think when that had happened. "Wait, you named one of them Father Malfoy?"
"Yes, Snuggles gets angry easily, but he also likes to snuggle," Draco explained, his eyes wide with delight. "Do you like the name, Father?"
Not having the heart or energy to scold his son for naming a peacock after him, Lucius decided he didn't even want to know what was going on. He calmly patted Draco's head and, without a word, walked past, shaking his head.
My son has to be the strangest creature ever. Worst of all, I now share my last name with peacocks and dogs. What a turn my life has taken!
