Talkeetna, Alaska

Eden's Home

June, 1992


The familiar, obnoxious sound of Raven's truck rumbling into the driveway reached Eden's ears and she ran to the window. She looked down upon the massive black truck with bated breath.

It was a routine now.

No matter how hard it was to watch Raven and Victoria like this, she had to do it for her own sanity. She constantly needed to see the truth of what haunted her every waking hour. She was trying to come to terms with it so that she could actually move on.

Eden was beginning to accept that they weren't ending. Their relationship was already over.

It was unhealthy how insecure and jealous she had become, but she couldn't ignore it anymore. Something deep in her gut screamed that she needed to confront Raven about this. It was time to let this corpse of a relationship go.

Moments like this made it abundantly clear.

Eden watched as Raven smiled in a way she only ever did with Victoria. That radiant, involuntarily face splitting kind of smile she didn't realize Raven could pull of until she watched her with the other woman.

It activated every muscle in her face, causing the skin around eyes to wrinkle in such a beautiful way. Thick, pink lips pulled over porcelain teeth effortlessly, as if the action were unconscious.

She held her breath as the love of her life hugged the statuesque redhead like she would never see her again. One could easily assume they were parting ways for a long time with the way Raven reveled in Victoria's embrace.

Eden thought she might be sick.

When golden eyes glanced up at her window, she swiftly closed the curtain. Her heart beat hard in her chest and she felt emotion boiling inside her as if she were readying to explode. Everything was becoming too much. She couldn't keep pretending like she didn't know.

When Raven walked through her bedroom door with a smile nowhere near as bright as she had before, Eden stared her down.

"Did you ever plan on telling me?"

Raven balked, freezing in her tracks like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes widened as Eden leveled her with an unreadable stare. She barely had time to think before she spoke again.

"I haven't been able to sleep thinking about the way you are around her. I noticed it the first time I had dinner with your family, but I didn't allow myself to dwell on it. The way she confronted me. I can't ignore it anymore."

Raven opened her mouth to deny her suspicions, only to be silenced by Eden's words.

"You look at her like she's a goddess. The way you smile at her...you've never smiled at me that way. It's like you're hypnotized or something."

Raven watched her first love pace in front of her. She hung her head in shame as she described her emotional infidelity. Guilt enveloped her.

Everything became very real, very fast.

She had entertained the idea of keeping her traitorous feelings to herself until they naturally faded, but they only grew stronger. Her need to be around Victoria was strengthing, while her desire to be with Eden slowly diminished. The feeling of contentment she felt with her girlfriend was nonexistent. She only felt longing to be with Victoria, to see her, and to feel her near. It was becoming difficult to handle.

"I think about it all day. I think about how you barely touch me anymore. You hardly ever kiss me. You're so fucking distant, most of the time I'm wondering where you are when you're beside me," Eden continued, tears welling in her eyes.

"I already know. I just need to hear you say it yourself. I deserve that, at least."

Raven was silent for a long moment and Eden allowed herself to believe for a split second that maybe she was crazy. Maybe her girlfriend wasn't in love with someone else, but the look on her face said it all.

Raven hadn't accepted what she truly felt to herself yet, how could she admit it to Eden? How could she tell her first love that her blood didn't rush when she saw her anymore? How could she tell her best friend that she dreamed of being with someone else?

"You're right...I have feelings for Victoria," Raven reluctantly admitted, feeling a massive weight fall from her chest. She'd done the impossible. She'd said it out loud for the first time.

"I don't want to! I know it's wrong, but I can't control how I feel around her. I've tried to push the feelings down. They just...won't go away."

The look on Eden's face sent a chill down her spine.

She'd seen movies like this. An unfaithful man falls in love with someone else. The wife cries and burns the man's things in a fit of rage. She was prepared for anger, but not this. Not the look of utter resignation and pain.

She looked as if someone died and Raven realized then that someone did.

They did.

With her confession their future disintegrated and floated into the air like dust. Never did Raven imagine she would be the unfaithful man that she hated in those stupid romantic dramas.

She wanted to dissappear into the earth and never return. She wanted to dig her nails into her skin and scream. Why?

Eden slowly sat down, tears rolling down her face. "When?"

"I honestly don't know. It just...built up over time. I'm so sorry," Raven muttered truthfully, tears in her eyes.

"Does she know? Does she feel the same way?"

Raven's bottom lip quivered. "...No.

She wanted to reach out and hold her, but that wasn't her place now. How can you take away the pain that you've caused? The thought burned.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Eden's question was the death blow. Raven covered her mouth to keep a sob from breaking out. That question broke any semblance of resolve she had built up. The girl had always been so powerfully self assured and Raven's actions tore that confidence down completely.

She rushed to Eden and sat on her knees in front of her. She wanted to hold her, but the look on the girl's face kept her hands at her side.

"No! You are perfect. You were everything I could have ever wanted, Eden. Please don't ever doubt that," Raven said adamantly, never breaking eye contact.

Eden nodded slowly. "Yet, I still wasn't enough."

Raven bit her lip to keep from breaking down. She wanted to tell her that wasn't true. She wished Eden could read her mind and see how in love she had been with her. There was nothing she could say or do to change her mind.

"You know it's kind of crazy how...big I felt around you. Like no one could touch me. Like our love made me invincible," Eden sniffled, lips pulling into a sad smile as she took in the devastated expression on Raven's face.

"It was real...wasn't it?"

"Every second," Raven whispered, wrapping her arms around herself to keep from falling apart.

Eden looked at her, green eyes soft and filled with pain. She lifted up a framed picture of them, lips curling upward slightly. Her fingers caressed dark wood as if it were sacred.

They were laughing aloud, eyes closed, and heads thrown back. Raven couldn't stop the watery smile that spread across her face as beautiful memories flooded her mind.

When she spoke again, her voice was quiet and drenched with grief. It was as if she were giving a eulogy as their future was laid to rest.

"This is how I'll choose to remember us. Only the good things. You were my soul mate. Even if you weren't forever," she murmured, as if she were talking to herself.

Raven bit her lip hard to keep from sobbing as realization set in that she might never see her again. Their friendship, which lasted years longer than their love, was over too.

She pondered which hurt more.

"Please...don't worry about me. These memories will carry me through. Cause they're mine to keep. Despite the fact that you weren't."

They locked eyes, remembering years of laughter, and watching each other grow.

"I don't think either of us saw this coming. Well...maybe you did."


When Victoria pulled into the driveway, Raven got into the truck without a single word. Her fingers and nose were numb from standing in the cold air, but she barely noticed. The pain in her stomach was all encompassing as she silently stared out the window. She couldn't bare to look at the vampire.

"Do you want to talk about it," Victoria asked gently, sensing her turmoil.

Raven gritted her teeth as anger overtook her. In her irrational state, she blamed Victoria. It was her fault that her and Eden were over. It was her fault that even now, as grief wracked her body, she desired to be in Victoria's arms. Everything bad in her life was her fault.

"Do I want to talk about it? Do I want to talk about it?" Raven sneered, whipping around to glare at her like she'd never done before.

"I can't fucking talk about it. How can I possibly talk to you of all people? You would leave me just like Eden did. You've done it before, you'll do it again."

Victoria stared at her, mouth agape. Raven had never talked to her like this before. The rage in her eyes was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Immediately, she pulled onto the shoulder of the deserted highway.

"You know you can talk to me about anything. And I know I haven't properly discussed the reason I left, but now that you're older I'm willing to talk to you about it-"

Raven scoffed, still staring out of the window. "I really don't give a fuck. Forget I said anything."

Victoria growled and firmly grabbed her chin, pulling her face toward her's. Raven stopped breathing when her hazel eyes connected with fiery black orbs. She'd never seen the other woman so riled up. Not since James.

"You don't talk to me like that. Do you understand me?" Victoria said in a deadly calm voice.

The look in her eyes was dangerous, but she knew she was safe. The woman had never laid a finger on her.

Raven nodded slowly, shocked by the way Victoria was acting toward her. She was still in pain from her encounter with Eden, but that was no excuse for rude behavior.

"Now, I'm not starting this vehicle until you tell me what's wrong with you. This is not the Raven I know. You're respectful and kind. What's wrong with you," Victoria said in a commanding tone. She never thought her mate would lash out at her like this.

Raven's lip quivered and tears pooled in her eyes. She couldn't tell her everything. If she told her everything she would leave again. She would be disgusted by her. She didn't want to see the disapproval in her eyes. The hardest part was looking into her eyes and forcing herself not to confess.

"Eden and I are over. We're done. The worst part is, it's entirely my fault," Raven said, voice hoarse with emotion. Victoria felt a sense of relief, but it was quickly overwhelmed by sympathy.

"She found out that I have feelings for someone else. Bet you never thought I'd turn out to be such a scumbag."

Victoria stopped breathing unnecessary air. She looked at her with sad eyes, causing her to look away again. The vampire felt guilty. Raven's feelings for her ruined the girl's first relationship.

"Love arrives when love is supposed to and love leaves when love must. You are exactly as amazing as I believe you are, Raven. Who ever has awakened your heart, it was for a reason. I don't believe in mistakes and you shouldn't either."

Raven looked at her gratefully. She always knew what to say. Her words were like a balm to her aching soul. They rang in her ears.

Meant to be? Were she and Victoria meant to be? The question bothered her. It made her stomach flip inside out. It hurt.

Eden's grief-stricken face flashed before her eyes.

"Can you hold me, please," Raven whispered as if she hadn't meant to let the words slip out. Her vampire smelled the tears before they drenched her youthful face.

Victoria pulled the teen into her arms, hugging her tightly. "It's going to be okay. I've got you."

With those words the teen broke down, allowing herself to release months of frustration, fear, and sadness into the chest of her unrequited crush. She gripped the vampire hard, nuzzling closer into her cool, hard chest as she sobbed.

While she felt safe and content, she also felt afraid of the future. Was it possible to keep Eden in her life? Could she ignore her feelings for Victoria until they faded?

Did she even want to?


Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Cullen Home

June, 1992

Narrowed, golden eyes watched as Victoria and Raven sat cross legged together in the Cullen's ornate garden. Their laughter echoed through the forest, as well as one anxious heartbeat. Her fragrant blood rushed through her veins, due to the proximity of the woman she desired.

Rosalie prided herself on many things, but being highly observant was one of her best qualities. So when Victoria leaned in close to carefully pick debris from Raven's thick hair, she could see the sheer awe and attraction on the girl's face. Any mated vampire could tell the girl was head over heels. Emmett looked at her that way often.

As Victoria ignored the quickening of the girl's heart, Rosalie seethed.

It irked her spirit to no end that Victoria seemed so oblivious to the effect she had on Raven. How could she not see the lovestruck look on the girl's face every time she glanced at the teen. At this point, Rosalie decided to pull her aside and tear her a new one. This couldn't keep going unacknowledged.

"What the hell is wrong with you," Victoria growled as the blonde vampire pulled her deep into the forest where no one could hear them.

"You. How daft can you be," Rosalie snarled at her. Seeing the confusion on the redhead's face made her angrier.

"Raven feels the bond, numbskull! She feels it and she is confused. Acting like nothing is happening won't make it easier on her. What exactly are you trying to do here? Are you trying to torture her?"

Victoria placed her hands on her face and took an unnecessary breath.

If she were honest, she had seen the change in her mate. She saw it in the way her gaze softened when she looked at her, and the way her touch lingered. She had began seeking Victoria out for alone time more and more.

It unsettled her and thus, she decided to ignored it completely. She hoped to wait it out until she was at least twenty, but it was only becoming more apparent that it would be impossible. Especially with the recent disintegration of Raven's relationship.

No matter how much she disliked Eden, it stung to accept that it was she who had ruined that girl's life.

"Raven is only seventeen, Rose. Hell, she's human. She shouldn't be able to feel anything yet. I planned to tell her when she was turned, but I never planned on her developing feelings for me so soon," Victoria murmured, shaking her head.

Rosalie stared her down, arms crossed across her chest. All she heard was excuses. The only thing she wanted was for Victoria to do what was right. Raven was quite obviously falling, but Victoria was not there to catch her.

"You of all people know that Raven deserves to understand what's happening to her. She just lost her first love due to the mating bond, Victoria, and it's only going to get stronger. You know what you have to do," Rosalie said, voice full of warning.

Victoria watched her dissappear into the distance, knowing that if she didn't tell Raven now, Rosalie would.


The chilly wind nipped at Raven's exposed skin as Victoria blurred through the forest. At times, the vampire would slow down so she could see the sheer beauty of the immense coniferous forests of the northwest. The fog rose lazily into the air, creating a surreal atmosphere.

Raven held on, arms wrapped tightly around Victoria's pale neck and legs cinched around her waist like a vise grip. She rested her head on her shoulder, shielding her face from the cold. In all honesty, she couldn't feel anything but the lithe, statuesque body against her.

The teen closed her eyes tightly and willed the thoughts away. She cursed her raging hormones and thought of anything else.

Cute puppies. Adorable kittens.

The lioness who's hands firmly gripped her thighs to keep her in place.

She grimaced as her blood rushed hot and fast through her veins. Her body suddenly became hypersensitive.

Raven tried to pinpoint the moment everything changed, but it was impossible to tell. It had happened suddenly, so quickly, that she couldn't tell when she began to see Victoria as attractive.

All she knew for certain was her eyes couldn't stay away from her. Her body moved on it's own, seeking her out. Her hands refused to stop reaching out, lingering on velvet, pale skin.

Raven knew her family could see it. It was becoming more and more difficult not to stare or find any excuse to spend time with her vampire. Her vampire, she mused. She'd always thought about her that way, but it meant something entirely different now. She wasn't innocent and naive anymore, and her thoughts reflected that.

No matter how much Victoria tried to ignore Raven's obvious reaction to being close to her, it was impossible. Her loud heartbeat reverberated in the vampire's ears. She could smell the pheromones wafting off the girl's body. The sweet scent caused her eyes to turn black and she held her breath. It surprised her, the way her body involuntarily reacted.

Raven could hear the rush of the waterfall before they burst through the trees. Victoria let her down and her jaw dropped when she saw the white water crashing into the rocky river below. She had to crane her neck all the way back to see the very top of the waterfall. The sheer majesty of it took her breath away.

"Don't tell anyone about this place. It's for me and you only," Victoria chuckled, grinning at her awestruck expression. The teen blushed deeply.

"I won't."

Raven watched curiously as Victoria set up what looked like a picnic for them. She laid out a small blanket for her and a thick, wool duvet was folded in the corner. She opened a basket and the delicious smell of her cooking wafted toward Raven's nose. It smelled like her favorite. An avocado and egg sandwich with chipotle sauce.

"What's the special occasion," Raven asked, sitting down on the blanket. She blushed as the vampire wrapped the wool duvet around her shoulders tightly.

"I wanted to spend some quality time with you. There are a few things I want to talk to you about, but first you should eat your food before it gets cold," Victoria replied, a small smile on her red lips.

"Okay..."

Raven felt nervous. Her hands were shaky as she ate her meal. Victoria was watching her a little too closely, her gaze intense. The vampire's scent was surrounding her, making it hard to think. The racing thoughts flooding her mind didn't make it any better.

What could Victoria possibly want to talk about? Why did she bring her here to do it? Did she know? Raven was about to freak out when she finished the last of her food. Part of her didn't want to hear what Victoria was about to say.

"So, I want to start from the beginning. It's important that I start there," Victoria began hesitantly.

Raven's eyes fell to the water, not wanting to look at her. A dull ache echoed in her chest when she remembered her parents and the life she suffered through before meeting her.

"When I saw you, my life changed. Everything I thought I knew came into question. My path before I found you was clear cut. I was the definition of a predator. I didn't care about anyone or anything other than my coven and hunting. I was content to live my life that way for eternity...until I saw you."

Raven looked at Victoria then and saw raw emotion in her eyes like she'd never witnessed before. It was rare that she showed this vulnerable side of herself. It was beautiful.

"I had no choice but to save you. There was no future without you in it. The problem with that was...you were James' singer," Victoria said quietly, feeling the hate she had for him resurface.

"Oh...my god."

Flashbacks of James' sneering face and hungry black eyes looking down at her flooded her mind. Her body shivered involuntarily, and Victoria wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The full impact of this revelation was hard to comprehend as she remembered small details that seemed irrelevant when she was younger.

"You left to protect me," Raven whispered, looking at the redhead sadly. As realization set in, she gasped.

"You could have died."

"I had to make sure he never came after you again. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to live in fear for yourself or for me. My time away from you still haunts me to this day," Victoria admitted reluctantly. It was hard for her to talk about her feelings, but her mate's adoring gaze made it easier.

Raven's eyes welled, remembering the way she resented Victoria for leaving. All the while, she didn't have a choice. Her heart constricted with sorrow and remorse.

"I'm so sorry for holding that against you. You've been protecting me my whole life, putting yourself in harms way for me, and I repayed you with selfish anger."

Victoria shook her head. "You don't have to apologize. You didn't know. The pain you went through when I left was real and valid. Don't apologize for expressing it, love."

The vampire hugged her mate tightly, smelling the salt of her tears. She buried her nose into Raven's thick, black curls and felt a sense of relief. However, she had a bigger confession to make that she needed to navigate very carefully lest she ruin their relationship.

Raven wiped her face and pulled back to look into Victoria's eyes. She regretted it instantly.

Victoria watched as Raven's caramel brown face softened and her hazel eyes became distant. She hadn't ever allowed herself to fully acknowledge the effect she had on the teen until now. She couldn't remember a time when someone looked at her with such adoration and all encompassing devotion. It was beautiful.

Her heart raced, creating a loud sloshing sound. The vampire could smell the perspiration on her hands. It warmed her dead heart, but she didn't know how to feel about it or what to do. If she told Raven the truth now, it would embolden her feelings. However, she didn't have a choice. Rosalie was right. She deserved to know.

"Raven, we need to talk about that," Victoria started, giving her a very meaningful look.

The teen blanched, realizing how obvious she had just been. She covered her face with her hands, heart stopping. She did not want to have this discussion. She wanted to dissappear. Her greatest fear was coming true.

"Oh god, no. Please don't make me," Raven pleaded hysterically, body stiff as a board. She couldn't bare to look at the other woman knowing she knew.

"I'm sorry, but I can't continue acting as if I don't notice."

Victoria's heart ached for the girl. She was obviously embarrassed, but this had to be done. She moved to place a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder, but she flinched away. It physically stung the vampire.

"I've noticed the way you look at me, Raven. It's okay. What you're feeling is completely natural," Victoria said softly, as if the girl might break if she spoke any louder.

"No. Nope. I want to leave. Now," Raven stuttered shakily, moving to stand up. She needed to get away.

Victoria gently gripped her arm to keep her from leaving. The teen struggled for a moment before realizing that she didn't stand a chance. She placed her hands over her face as shame and embarrassment overwhelmed her. She couldn't run from this any longer.

Victoria knew her darkest secret.

"Please don't hate me. It's just a crush. It'll go away eventually," Raven said, trying to convince herself. The vampire grimaced.

"Listen, I don't hate you. You can't control the way you feel and I would never hold that against you. I can only hope that this will help you understand what's happening," Victoria said, taking a shaky, unnecessary breath.

She was afraid. No, she was terrified.

Victoria had gone over a decade without telling her and planned on waiting even longer.

She wanted to call Alice and ask her if this was the right thing to do. All of the what-ifs raced through her mind, but it was too late. Raven was staring at her with wide eyes, anxiously awaiting her confession.

"The reason why I saved you and protected you from James...The reason for your feelings is the simple fact that," Victoria paused, finding it hard to finish her sentence.

Nervous hazel eyes pierced through her, not knowing that her life was about to change forever.

She could only hope it was for better and not for worse.

"...you're my mate, Raven."