Chapter 9

She pushed herself too hard. She did not wake up until late Sunday afternoon. Even then, she was lethargic and couldn't walk without help. Rachel finds it ridiculous and insulting that sitting and singing wore her out this badly. Her dads are upset about it. They keep muttering that they shouldn't have taken her or that they should have cut her off after the seventh song. Rachel is too tired to actually argue with them, but thankfully her softly spoken rebuttal was enough to quiet their mutterings.

"It made me really happy. I feel a lot better, emotionally, knowing I succeeded."

"And we're very happy about that, sweetheart. Truly. We just wish it hadn't taken so much out of you." Daddy responds.

"I'm sure you would have been just as happy to have sung five songs instead of ten." Dad tries to insist.

"I doubt it. I never do anything halfway." Rachel grins at him teasingly. He huffs a laugh.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Despite her father's hesitation, Rachel goes to school on Tuesday. Not for long, but she has to drop off a few assignments, pick up her new assignments, and talk to her friends. Regionals is coming up. It has been really hard on her to help them prepare for it while knowing she will not be in it at all. Not even partially. That has been painful. But her wonderful friends have been really good about it. They don't talk about Regionals around her unless she asks a question. They listen to her advice and tips. And they haven't asked her to go. She's not sure she will. On the one hand, she wants to show her support for her friends and sit in the audience to cheer them on. On the other hand, she knows it will hurt her to sit there watching them instead of leading them to victory. She's not sure she's strong enough to handle it.

She sits in the choir room, listening to her friends talk with a smile. She's already told them all about the recording session on Saturday and promised them they'll each get a copy. She's not feeling well, so she texts her dad, asking him to pick her up sooner than planned. He agrees quickly and admits he hadn't even gone home. He's been killing time at a nearby strip mall. He'll be there soon.

"You alright?" Kurt asks, watching her. The others turn their attention to her as well. "I'm sorry that we started talking about Regionals. We should have waited until after you left."

She hates the pity on many of their faces. "No, it's okay. I mean, I'm not happy about it, obviously, I'd rather be performing with you. But it's not your fault that I can't."

"Do you think you'll come at all?" Brittany asks, sounding hopeful.

The others seem to be holding their breath. Seeing that they want her there, even if she's not performing with them makes up her mind for her. It'll be hard. It'll probably hurt. But she's not about to let them down. Putting her true feelings aside, she decides to be truly selfless for what is possibly the first time in her life. She smiles at them, putting as much warmth into it as she can manage.

"Of course. I'll be there, cheering you on."

Brittany squeals and launches herself at her. Rachel laughs from her embrace. Over Brittany's shoulder, the rest of her friends are smiling happily at her. Their happiness makes it worth it. Her phone vibrates with a message from her dad stating he's outside. She grabs her bag and stands. The world immediately tilts. Thankfully, hands quickly grab her; both of her arms are supported and someone has a hand on her back as well. They lower her back to her seat.

"You okay?"

"Dizzy. My dad's here to take me home."

Finn cuts off Mike. "I'll walk you."

Her friends help her stand and she leans on Finn's arm. "I'll try to come back another day this week. Maybe Thursday."

"Don't push yourself." Puck warns.

"Yeah. If you can't come to us, we'll come to you!" Mercedes says with a smile.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel asked Mike to not join her for her treatment on Tuesday. Instead, she asked him, Tina, and Finn to come over on Wednesday. She hadn't expected to have a cold, however. She'd had a fever all day, her throat was sore, she was congested, and her head was pounding. So when they arrived, her dads let them go up to her room but warned them it'd be a short visit.

"Whoa. You look like death warmed over." Tina immediately hits Finn. Mike glares at him. The quarterback mumbles an apology.

"S'okay." Rachel croaks. "I'm sure I do."

"Well, being stage 3 and being sick don't go well together." Tina frowns. "You know what I mean."

Her heart starts beating faster and she pushes herself up into a seated position. "Actually, that's why I asked you three to come today."

"What do you mean?" Mike sits on the edge of her bed.

She takes his hand. She knows this will be hardest on him. She wanted Finn and Tina here to help support Mike. She takes a breath. "I'm not stage 3." She watches them tense up, torn between fear and hope. She hates to dash that hope. "I'm stage 4."

Tina's hands fly to her mouth and her eyes immediately overflow. Finn's lips part slightly. It takes a moment for it to sink in for him. When it does, he hangs his head. Mike is still staring at her. She has never seen him look like a scared little boy before. It's alarming. She reaches for him, wanting to comfort her best friend.

"Mike—"

He pulls her into a hug, his arms wrapping around her tight. She can feel his shuddering breaths. She holds on and gives him all the time he needs to get control of his emotions.

"How—how long?" His voice is muffled by her hair.

Rachel isn't sure how to answer. The doctors didn't give her a timeline. Or would deadline be more accurate? Expiration date? She ignores these thoughts and focuses on Michael. Based on how she's been feeling and what little the doctors did say….

"Not long. But I don't know how long exactly. They mentioned hospice in the near future."

Mike squeezes her tighter. She can feel his warm tears dripping onto her.

"I'm sorry, Mike."

He breaks. He starts sobbing. She's never seen him cry like this before. She holds him and cries with him. Tina joins their hug, trying to hold them both despite her own tears. Finn is holding his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking. In the comfort of her best friend's arms, Rachel lets herself fall apart. She cries for herself. She cries for the future she probably won't get. She cries for dreams unachieved. She cries for her dads losing their only child. She cries for Mike. Her other friends will most likely shed a tear for her. They'll miss her after she's gone, to some extent. But it's Michael who stepped out of his quiet, simple life to offer her a friend and someone to lean on, who will hurt the most. He opened his heart to her, letting her in and sheltering her. Doing so when she was sick meant that he was also opening himself up to the possibility of hurting when she dies. And yet he did it anyway. She will always be grateful to him.

She cries herself to sleep. She hadn't meant to, so she blames being sick. When she wakes, her three closest friends are still there with her. She's surprised. She figured they'd leave, or her dads would kick them out after she fell asleep. The fact that they stayed brings her comfort. It doesn't even matter to her if they stayed for her comfort or theirs; they stayed. Mike and Finn are talking quietly about their last basketball game. Tina is looking out the window.

"You're still here?" Her voice is still a little croaky from the cold.

The other three spin around to look at her. Rachel has to admit, she likes being the center of attention. She just wishes it wasn't because she's sick.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I have a bad cold."

Tina pours some medication into a cup and hands it to her. "You dad said to give this to you when you woke up."

It tastes nasty. Her friends chuckle at the face she makes. Finn hands her a glass of apple juice. "To wash it down with."

The two flavors do not go well together, but she keeps drinking the juice and it eventually washes the foul medicine taste out of her mouth. "Thanks."

"If you want us to leave, we will. We just…wanted to stay."

"No, it's fine. You can stay. I was just surprised."

"We'll have to leave at some point."

She nods.

"So, when were you told? At your treatment yesterday?"

"No. Last week when I was in the hospital."

Finn and Tina frown sympathetically. Mike's face is blank. They watch him nervously. He stands and paces the room in agitation.

"Mike?"

He stops pacing and spins to face her. "You knew? When we talked on Thursday?" At her nod, his mask slips and his anger shows. "Why didn't you tell me then? Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Because we were talking about more important stuff."

"More im—" Mike cuts himself off and rubs a hand over his face. "More important stuff? What was more important than telling me you're in stage 4, Rachel?!"

"Our friendship." Rachel snaps. "We were making up and talking about our friendship and how much we mean to one another. Remember? I told you that you mean more to me than Broadway."

Finn and Tina share shocked looks.

"And after we made up? Why didn't you tell me before I left?!"

"We'd just gotten back to a happy, comfortable place. I didn't want to destroy that by telling you I now have a less than 10% chance of surviving!"

Mike swallows hard. "You let me come over on Friday with Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes and talk about songs to sing. That was really all we discussed. Songs. That whole time you knew you were stage 4 and you didn't say a word! You let us sit there, oblivious to what was going on with you!"

"Yes. I didn't want you to focus on it or stress about it. I knew I'd be telling you soon enough."

"But all we were talking about was songs and what you'd be sing—" He stops and stares at her, understanding clear on his face. "That's it, isn't it? You found out you were stage 4 and it became even more important than ever for you to get the right songs recorded. That was all that mattered to you."

"No, it—"

"I deserved to know! I've been by your side every step of the way, Rachel!"

Finn stands and places his body between her and Mike, looking ready to tackle Mike if necessary. Tina takes the softer approach, placing her hands on her boyfriend's chest.

"Mike, calm down. It's over and done with. There's no point getting upset about it now."

"No point? Tina, she felt that singing was more important than telling us she's stage 4!"

"That's not true!" Rachel argues, sitting up more. The backs of her eyes sting. She blinks to keep the tears at bay.

"Like hell!" Mike snarls. "Just like always, you did what you wanted to make sure you still got your perfect solo."

Rachel's mouth goes dry.

"Mike!" Tina yells.

"Dude, shut the fuck up!" Finn snaps.

"You know, you had me going for a minute there." Mike glares at her, his own eyes watering. "You really had me believing that we mattered more to you."

With that, he storms from the room. He ignores Tina's angry shout. Rachel tosses her quilt off of her and scrambles from her bed. Between her fever and fatigue, the floor tilts under her feet. Finn catches her easily, lifting her back onto the bed. Rachel tries to fight him.

"Get him back here! I don't care if you have to beat him senseless and drag his butt back up these stairs, get him back here!"

Finn kisses her head. "I'm on it."

The tall quarterback dashes out of the room. Tina looks between Rachel and the door, appearing torn. Finally, she sits on the bed with Rachel and wraps an arm around her.

"I'm sorry, Rach. Mike has been really emotional lately and lashing out. I think he knows how much you care, but he's not handling the possibility of losing you well."

"Well, neither am I! So he's just going to have to suck it up."

Tina squeezes her tighter and rests her head against hers.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Mike thunders down the stairs, trying desperately to hold onto his anger. A hand grabs his arm and he instinctively yanks it back, his eyes jumping to the person now standing next to him. Hiram Berry raises his hands in surrender.

"Whoa, Mike. You okay, son?"

"No."

Hiram watches him solemnly for a moment before guiding him to the couch. Leroy brings them drinks. Mike leans forward on his knees and glares at the floor. The Berry men wait patiently.

"She knew. Last week. And she didn't say anything."

"True. We'd been a little surprised at first when we realized she hadn't told you on Thursday."

"Or Friday. Or yesterday at school."

"Well we know she didn't tell you yesterday or Friday because you weren't alone. She knew you deserved to be told before the others. She was either going to tell you alone or with just Tina and Finn. You three are her closest friends."

"But she didn't tell me on Thursday." He uses the back of his hand to swipe under his eyes. "She didn't want anything to distract from her performance."

"Does she ever?" Leroy asks with a smirk.

"I just…..I really thought she had decided that our friendship matters more than all that."

"She did." Mike turns to see Finn standing at the bottom of the stairs with his arms crossed. "You do matter more to her than a solo or performance. Didn't she say you matter more to her than Broadway? Dude, that's huge."

"But she—"

"Michael," Hiram places a gentle hand on his arm. "Rachel didn't want you focused on what stage she's in. Especially so soon after making up. And she wanted to focus on being recorded because…because she knows she's dying, Mike. Those recordings aren't for her. They were, don't get me wrong. But now? She did those recordings for us. For everyone who loves her. She wanted them to be perfect, for us."

Hope blooms in his chest. Maybe she has learned. "How do you know?"

"Some of the songs she chose are messages to us."

"And we know our daughter. We've seen the change in her. We're proud of Rachel, we just wish that this wasn't what caused it." Leroy adds in firmly.

"Mike, don't let her love of applause distract you from the ways she has changed or her reasons for doing things."

He presses his heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Dude, you'd better get back up there. She jumped out of bed to try to catch you. She said I needed to bring you back, even if it meant beating you senseless and dragging you back."

His lips twitch. "Okay. You don't have to beat me up."

"That remains to be seen." Finn's serious expression tells Mike it wasn't a joke.

He trudges up the stairs, feeling like a jackass for the second time in the past week. He jumped to conclusions and yet again walk away from her before she could explain herself. When he renters Rachel's room, her arms are crossed and she's glaring at him. He drops his gaze. She doesn't immediately speak, so he walks closer to her bed and takes the initiative.

"I'm sorry. Again."

"You walked out before I could explain. Again."

"I'm sorry! I was upset!"

"And I wasn't?"

She turns away, her eyes brimming with tears. He can't tell if they're angry tears or if other emotions are mixed in as well. He gives her a moment to compose herself.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I assumed that…."

"That nothing had changed. I get it. Once a self-centered arrogant bitch, always a self-centered arrogant bitch."

"No! No, that's not it." But his initial reaction said the exact opposite. His brain is scrambling for a way to fix this. "Look, I didn't handle the news well. I was really upset. Then, to learn that you purposely didn't tell me until after your recording session…I jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst and I'm sorry. And then I left before you could explain."

"You really need to stop doing that. You took a chance on me months ago, opening yourself up to being my friend. And yet you refuse to give me a chance to prove I've grown! You immediately assume the worst and leave!"

He wishes he could think of different words. Better words. But all he has is "I'm sorry."

"Do better, Michael. Give people…give your friends….a chance to explain." He nods miserably. "Can I explain, now?"

"Yes. Go ahead."

Rachel presses her fingers to her forehead and winces. "It'll be a short explanation because my head really hurts. Mike, I knew you'd be upset to hear I'm stage 4. When you came to visit on Thursday, I'd only known for less than 24 hours. It was still fresh and still scary. I wasn't ready to say it just yet. And then we made up. Between not wanting to say it and not wanting to upset you right after we made up, I decided not to say it yet. I decided that focusing on the recording session mattered more because at this point, it is very likely that that's the only way you'll get to listen to me sing in the future. So I had to get it right. I had to choose the right songs and perform my very best because I didn't want to let you down. Any of you. My singing matters to me, a lot. I put my heart and soul into every song. So when I was recording myself singing, I felt like I was giving a piece of myself to it. I want everyone who listens to those recordings feel like I've given a piece of myself to them."

Mike ignores his tears, and hers, and kisses her cheek. "I get it. And we will, I promise."

"That was short?" Finn is holding back a smile.

Tina gives a wobbly grin. "Well, for Rachel Berry, that was a fairly short speech."

Rachel shrugs, unabashed. The four friends laugh. Mike, Tina, and Finn take their turns hugging Rachel and telling her they love her. They promise to return soon and leave her to her rest.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Mike spins across the dance floor, letting his body move to the music. He's alone in one of the dance rooms. He should be at home studying or doing homework. He should be visiting Rachel. Only God knows how much longer she'll be in this world. He should be spending as much time with her as possible. And he wants to, he really does. It's just so hard. Seeing her get weaker and paler as the days go by is hard. She's been looking worse as each month passes. There's no denying that. Lately, it seems like every week she looks worse. Rachel has done so well with keeping her head up and focusing on living and fighting for her future that it was easy to miss the signs of her weakening condition. Not that she was hiding them, exactly, she was just…..so full of life. Now it's waning. Her pale skin, sunken eyes, and skeletal physique were completely overshadowed by her larger than life personality. Until now. Seeing her is hard. Then again, when he's not with her he's often thinking about her.

The music flows through him and his body smoothly transitions from one challenging dance move to another. Glee is a lot of fun, but he doesn't get to dance as much, or as well, as he'd like. Times like this where he can push himself are special to him. It makes him think about Rachel, though, and how similar their passions are. She enjoys pushing herself to excel with her singing just as he does with his dancing. She spends…..spent…hours practicing and training over and over to become better. He does the same with his dancing. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how much sense their friendship really makes. And how stupid he is for ignoring her for a year. He could have been friends with her a year sooner if he'd just grown a fucking backbone and stood up to his peers. All he had to do was think his own thoughts and speak up, not go with the masses. He was weak. But he never will be again.

The music stops mid song. Mike jerks around to face the speakers. His father is standing there with a stern look. Mike knows that look. He's in trouble.

"Michael. You need to be studying."

"I know. I will. But I need t—"

"You need to study. You failed a quiz this week. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

Shit. His stomach squirms. He hasn't failed anything since middle school and his father was furious and disappointed. It's not an experience he ever wants to repeat. "I'm sorry. I'll fix it. I already spoke to Mrs. Thomas and she's letting me make it up next week."

"You never should have failed it in the first place."

Mike holds back a groan. "Dad, it was just one quiz. I'm a straight A student! I already apologized and told you how I plan to fix it."

His father's glower darkens. "You fix it by studying, not dancing!"

"Dancing is how I find peace. It's a lot of fun and it brings me joy, but when I'm upset, it's also how I feel better."

"You're upset."

"Yes. And you know why. I think it's a pretty valid reason to be upset."

"That girl."

Mike has to actively bite his tongue and take a deep breath before responding. "She has a name. Rachel. She's my best friend."

His father waves that off. "You only recently became friends. You never spoke of this girl before October."

"It doesn't matter how long we've been friends, we're friends. I love her and she's dying."

His father shakes his head. "It's sad, I'll admit, but you can't let it distract you from your own future."

"My future. Can I focus on what little time my best friend has left right now? Then I can focus on my future?"

"No. Clearly, she's too big of a distraction. You failed a quiz. If you fail, you won't get into a good university and you won't get into med school."

His teeth ache from being clenched so tightly. "She's not a distraction."

"Yes she is! You spend a lot of your free time with her and come home upset. Even when you're not with her you're thinking about her instead of your future. She distracted you from studying and you failed."

"One quiz! One!"

"And if it happens again? You said yourself you were upset. The odds of you being upset drastically increase as she draws closer to death. You need to back away from her and focus on your studies. She doesn't have a future. You do."

Mike has never wanted to hit his own father before. He clenches his hands into fists and he struggles to breathe evenly. Father and son glare at one another. "I. Said. I'll. Fix. It."

"Stop seeing the girl. Stop dancing. Get back to studying so you can become a doctor."

He can't ignore it anymore. He can't just stand there with his head bowed and give his usual "yes, sir" response. He can't. "You have no idea who I am or what I want for my life."

"What? I know you. You're my son. And how can you know what you want for your life? You're a child."

"You don't know me. Everything you said is the polar opposite of what I want! I want to keep spending time with Rachel. I want to keep dancing. I don't think I want to be a doctor."

His father stares at him like he's never seen him before. Which, in a way, is true. "You….don't think…..you want to be a doctor?"

Mike shifts on his feet. "Being a doctor was your idea, not mine. I never minded the idea of being a doctor. But I always loved dancing more. I love dancing, Dad. It's what I'm passionate about. And I'm really, really good! I could be a professional dancer."

"And you'd be one injury away from ending your career, Michael! I didn't mind you joining the football team or Glee club or dance lessons because you were having fun, the extracurriculars will look good on your college applications, and you were keeping your grades up. They are fine as hobbies, not career options."

"And if I'm not passionate about being a doctor? Weren't you the one who told me that people who aren't passionate about their careers do a mediocre job at best?"

His father seems annoyed that he can't refute that without taking back his own words. "You can become passionate about it. Especially if you let go of your silly dream of dancing."

"It's not a silly dream!"

"It is not a good career. You can't secure your future by dancing! It is a hobby. And if you keep this ridiculous notion in your head, I will ban you from Glee."

"No!"

"You will become a doctor. You will not fail another test. You will go home and study. Now."

His father spins on his heel and storms out of the room. Mike stares after him, his heart sinking and gut churning.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"So when will we get to hear the finished product?" Kurt asks eagerly.

Rachel smiles, but can't bring herself to laugh like she'd hoped to. "Not just yet. My dads are holding onto the copies but I've asked them not to listen or share them just yet."

"Why not?"

She shrugs awkwardly.

"Have you listened yet?" Mercedes asks curiously.

"No." Rachel taps her fingers on her lap, hating that she's already tired. She's only been here for a quarter of an hour. She's cold, too. Her sweater is heavy and she's wearing fleece leggings under her skirt, but she's still not warm.

Her friends share a look of surprise. She doesn't expound her answer, so she can see the wheels turning in their heads as they try to determine her reasonings. Mike gets it first.

"You'd be over analyzing and criticizing your performances."

She grins guiltily and her friends laugh. "Guilty. These songs aren't for me. I'm just happy to know that they're recorded and available to be heard by others. My voice won't die with me. Not exactly, anyway. That makes me feel better. If I listen to them and I'm not satisfied with my performance, I'll be upset. It's enough to know that Shelby and the others helping heard and insisted I sounded really good. I'm trusting them and my talent."

The others have mixed reactions to her little speech. They're quiet for a minute. The silence lingers to the point that she worries she shouldn't have said anything, but then Santana clears her throat.

"What did you mean the songs aren't for you? Who are they for?"

"You. All of you. My dads. Shelby, I guess. And…..if one of you could put the recordings on YouTube or something, then they'll be for…everyone, I suppose."

"Well…..we appreciate it. Or we will, after you let us actually listen." Puck teases gently. He has changed in the past few months. The others told her that he rarely skips class these days, does his work, and hasn't been throwing kids in dumpsters. She's proud of his growth.

"I'm looking forward to hearing it. Your solos are always amazing, Rach. But I've gotta admit, I've always loved singing with you. Duets and group numbers."

The others smile and nod. Rachel is honestly touched. "I feel the same. I love solos, you all know that." They chuckle. "But there's also something special about hearing your voice blend with others, harmonizing. It can be…..magical."

"Do you think….do you think you'd be up for singing a group number with us?"

They watch her for a reaction eagerly. She can see how much they want her to agree and she wants to agree. Unfortunately, she knows she can't. Not right now, at least. "Not today. Maybe the next time I'm here? Besides, you should be focusing on Regionals which is this weekend. Get rehearsing, let's go!"

They laugh but dutifully stand and begin their rehearsal. Finn kisses her cheek as he passes. On the one hand, she's glad he hasn't tried to start a relationship with her. On the other hand, she can't help but think it'd have been nice to have a boyfriend to curl up with and kiss. The words "last kiss" float through her mind and her throat instantly tightens, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. Determined to stay positive, or at least not melt down completely, she shakes those thoughts away and focuses on watching her friends rehearse. That doesn't help. Watching them makes her think about all the times she has rehearsed with them in the past and about how she'll probably never rehearse with them ever again. She should be up there with them, preparing for the upcoming competition. Rachel swallows back her tears and keeps a smile on her face. It wouldn't be fair on them to get upset. It'd distract them. When her Daddy finally sends her the message that he's here, she's relieved. Mr. Schue comes over while she's putting on her coat.

"I'll walk you, Rachel."

She smiles and sends a message to her dad that she'll be out soon. Accepting Mr. Schue's arm, she leans on him while they slowly walk towards the entrance. Mr. Schue keeps up a steady stream of chatter. It works to keep her darker thoughts at bay, so she's grateful to him. She gives him a quick hug before getting in her dad's car.

"How was your visit today?"

Although she intended to talk happily about enjoying her time with her friends and how they're preparing for Regionals on Saturday, that's not what comes out. Her emotions are too high and her dad is a safe place. So instead of happy chatter, her face crumbles and tears spill over.

"Oh, sweetheart," He takes her hand, but keeps his eyes on the road, "I'm sorry. I was worried it'd be hard on you. You don't have to go back again."

"I do. I want to. They asked to sing one last group number with me."

"But—"

"Please, Daddy."

He sighs, then caves as she knew he would.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel doesn't attend Regionals. Not by her choice, though. She'd gotten short of breath while walking up the stairs with her dad. That alone isn't a big deal and has happened to her before. The problem was that she couldn't catch her breath afterwards. That caused her to panic, which worsened her breathing and she passed out. Her dads took her to the hospital, where she spent the day on oxygen. Because her numbers were so low, they went ahead and gave her an extra blood transfusion as well. She was grateful upon waking to hear that her Dad had sent a text to Mike, letting him know why she wouldn't be there so he could relay it to the team. She didn't want them to think she ditched them. Yes, it would have been very hard for her to sit in the audience and watch. Yes, she's relieved she didn't have to go at all. However, she also feels bad that she wasn't there to cheer them on like they'd wanted. She feels like she let them down. Mike, Tina, and Finn visit her in the hospital after Regionals ends. She's down to a nasal cannula now, instead of the mask, which makes talking easier. She watches them enter with slumped shoulders and downcast eyes. She knows instantly what happened. Not wanting to upset them more, she decides not to mention it until they do.

"Hi."

"Hey, Rach. How are you feeling?" Tina sits next to her.

"Better now. Sorry I couldn't go."

"Don't worry about that." Finn says with an easy grin. "I'm just glad you're feeling better."

"Besides," Mike adds on, "it's better you weren't there. We lost."

"I'm sorry." And she really is. "I'm sure you guys were wonderful. Who won?"

"The Warblers. Kurt was going to join us, but he started flirting with their lead singer so we left without him." Tina says with a giggle.

"The Warblers are very good." Rachel can't help but feel that they'd have won if she had been there performing with them. She doesn't say that, though. She's learned her lesson.

Mike gives her a look, then grins. "Yeah, they are. But we would have won if you'd have been our soloist."

She blushes, touched and grateful that someone else agrees with her thoughts.

"To be honest, though, I think our heart just wasn't in it." Finn admits. "You're the heart of Glee. Without you there, we just….weren't feeling it."

Tears spring to her eyes and she's not sure why. She feels a little guilty that she may inadvertently be to blame for their loss. Then again, she also feels warm inside to know she has such an impact on her friends. It also makes her worry about the future of their Glee club. Obviously, they're done for the season. But what about next year? Will they stop singing because she's not there or will they try again? She's not sure which she'd prefer. Determined to be a supportive friends, she pushes those thoughts away. It doesn't matter and it'll be up to them.

Finn'a face falls. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!"

She waves away his apology. "It's okay, Finn. It's both sweet and sad. I'm honored but also feel a little guilty."

"Don't feel guilty." Mike tells her. "This isn't on you, it's on us."

"Besides, there's always next year." It's not said with conviction. She wonders if they'll really try again or not.

She started falling asleep not long after that, so they left her to her rest. She went to school the following week to spend time with her friends and apologize in person for not being there for them. They told her the same thing; they're not mad, it wasn't her fault, and to not feel guilty. It seems like everyone can tell this will probably be her final visit to the school. She's sitting on the chair by herself, but is leaning against Tina. She's incredibly pale and gaunt. Despite this, her eyes and her smile are bright and warm. Her voice, as always, is strong and full of life. So when Puck asks again about one last group number, she agrees. Artie takes care of setting up the school's cheap recording equipment while the others gather on stage.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

William Schuester sits in the audience to simply watch and be a part of it from the fringe. He loves these kids, all of them. They're all special in their own way. They've all faced challenges in the past two years. They've all grown and matured. He hates that they had to face such hard times in order to mature, but he's still proud of them. Those who used to bully others are now working hard to stop bullies in the school. Everyone thinks more before they speak. Everyone thinks of others a little more than they did before. Noah has been going to class and doing his work, improving his grades. Brittany has become more independent from Santana and Quinn while still being good friends with them. She simply thinks for herself more now. Quinn and Santana have softened a little, becoming a little kinder. Mike speaks up more, even against friends. Tina is more outgoing. Finn and Mercedes work a little harder. Sam and Artie make sure everyone feels included. Kurt is more confident. He and Mercedes gossip less. And Rachel, well…..that girl is largely the reason why everyone else has matured. That alone is impressive. But she herself has matured. Rachel is kinder with her words, less arrogant, and less selfish. "Being a part of something special makes you special." She'd told him that once. Rachel is special. And she made Glee special by being part of it. He's trying not to put her on a pedestal. She started out incredibly selfish and arrogant, rude, and sort of a…..bitch. She started to soften and be kinder when dating Finn, but then Finn dumped her and she went back to being selfish. Her friendship with Mike is what truly helped her learn how to treat others better. And perhaps being sick helped change her attitude as well. William would happily trade a selfish and rude Rachel for the dying girl before him now. As proud of her as he is for maturing, he'd rather have her alive and well and snapping at them to work harder and demanding solos.

He watches the group perform "We Are Young" by f.u.n. Their harmonies are flawless and give him goosebumps. They sing passionately but also joyfully. They're smiling and having fun. But even from here he can see the tears on many of their faces. Instead of causing them to choke up, their emotions seem to be causing them to sing at their best. When they finish the song, they cheer and high five or hug one another. Will laughs, watching Noah wraps his arms around Rachel and lift her in the air, making her giggle. He laughs harder when Brittany and Santana steal her from Noah's arms and kisses her cheeks. Rachel's smile is huge and it warms his heart. Considering how tired Rachel obviously is, he figured they'd only do one number. Rachel surprises all of them by suggesting a second song.

"That was incredible. I think that was my favorite group number." The others nod their agreement. "Do you think we can do one more?"

"Of course! But are you sure you're up for it?"

She shrugs lightly. "Oh, I'm tired. This probably won't be my best performance, but…..I want to honor us. I want to honor how far we've come as a group and individually. We've faced so much, both together and personally. I want to celebrate that."

"How?"

"My dads love the song 'Here's To Us'. It's not exactly school appropriate, but I think I can change the lyrics a bit. Which is a real shame since the original lyrics are far more appropriate." The others laugh. "And, admittedly, it'd mostly be my solo. But with you guys backing me up. If you're willing."

"Hell, yeah!" Sam confirms.

Seeing their obvious support, Rachel smiles."Okay. Thank you."

So they sing "Here's To Us" with Rachel taking lead. Like she warned, it's not her best. But she is Rachel Berry. She never gives a poor performance. He sees the moment she begins to weaken but pushes herself to put all of her energy into the song. The others back her up beautifully. They sing the song with emotion and it brings tears to his eyes. He is just so proud of them. Artie signals for the AV kids to stop recording. They celebrate another incredible performance, talking about how much fun they had, how great it sounded, and how much it meant to them. Will listens with a smile. Rachel is paler than before. His smile dims. She's smiling, but not talking. Even from his seat in the audience, he can see her chest heaving as she struggles to catch her breath. Kurt is frowning and asking her something. She nods slowly and lifts her hand. He takes it between his, looking worried. Will stands, concern filling him. He's walking up to the stage when her eyes roll back and she collapses. Mercedes catches her and eases her down to the stage. Will runs the rest of the way, leaping onto the stage. He pushes the kids away.

"Stand back!"

He presses his fingers to the inside of her wrist. He knows she's alive because her chest is still rising and falling unevenly, but he wanted to check her pulse. It's steady. Knowing she was just in the hospital days ago, struggling to breathe, he turns to Noah.

"Run and get an oxygen tank from the nurse's office." The boy takes off at a sprint before he even finished talking. Next, he turns to Mike. "Call her dads."

He takes off his sweater, preparing to use it as a makeshift pillow for her. Finn stops him. "I've got her, Mr. Schue."

The boy gently lifts Rachel and cradles her against him so she's more comfortable. Mike puts his phone back in his pocket as he walks back over to them. "They'll be here soon. If she stops breathing, or starts struggling to breathe, we need to call an ambulance."

Will nods, running a hand through his hair. He wonders how her dads are doing. This is hard for him and she's just a student he's known for less than two years. He's heard bits and pieces from Rachel and the others. He knows her dads take turns attending a support group for parents of seriously ill children. He knows they've been going to temple more frequently to pray. He knows they have friends who spend time with them. He knows her one grandmother and aunt and uncle visit occasionally, just not for long. They don't live in Ohio and don't want to risk spreading any germs to her thanks to her weakened immune system. Will has actually been a little amazed that she hasn't gotten more sick. He's aware that the kids have been careful to keep themselves healthy for her sake, as well as their own. They've stayed away from school (and Rachel) whenever they've been under the weather. And Rachel hasn't been to school very much lately. These things combined mean she hasn't been exposed to too many germs and hasn't gotten sick too frequently. According to Mike, her biggest challenge with aplastic anemia has been the fatigue. She's been fairly lucky to not have too many of the other symptoms. Unfortunately, the lack of severity or frequency from her other symptoms has apparently made getting worse harder for Rachel emotionally; she felt "fine" overall, just tired and weak. That gave her a false sense of security, thinking she's not "truly" sick for a while. It has only been in the past two or so months that she has gotten weaker and been forced to acknowledge that she is in fact seriously ill and getting worse. Will understands that her symptoms have only been getting worse in the past couple weeks; more frequent headaches and nosebleeds, shortness of breath, dizziness, nausea, and bruising. It was almost like her body was mostly waiting for her to get closer to stage 4 to hit her harder with these symptoms. Or, knowing how stubborn Rachel can be, perhaps she felt them before but was masking them from herself and/or others.

Her dads arrive together before Rachel wakes. They check her over before carrying her to the car. Her one dad stops to talk to them all.

"She loves Glee with all her heart. She loves each of you, too. Please never doubt how much you matter to her."

They nod tearfully, watching their friend, their star, be carried away.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Rachel is curled on an armchair, but is no longer looking out the window. She had been, but stopped a couple minutes ago. She pulls the blanket up higher. It's starting to warm up outside, but she's always cold. Shelby pulled up in front of the house a couple minutes ago and has been sitting in her car. Rachel can tell the woman is preparing herself. Unless a miracle occurs, this will be their final conversation. Their goodbye. She'd been dozing on the couch the other day while her dads were on the phone setting up hospice. They didn't talk to her about it. She only knows because she overheard bits of their phone call. Maybe they didn't say anything because it's too hard to discuss? Or they don't think she needs to know? It's hard, either way. Understanding this is hard for Shelby, too, Rachel had looked away from the window to give her a little privacy. The thud of a car door shutting has her peeking out. Shelby is finally walking up the driveway. Rachel listens to her dads greet her at the door.

"Hi, honey."

Rachel looks up at Shelby and smiles. Shelby blinks and swallows before sitting on the end of the couch closest to her. Rachel understands. It has only been about two weeks since they last saw one another, and yet Rachel looks worse. She feels worse.

"Hi."

Shelby's eyes scan her face. They sit quietly for a minute, floundering for a topic of conversation before diving into their goodbyes.

"Thanks again for helping me record those songs."

Her mother smiles softly. "You're very welcome. You sounded amazing. Really. Thank you for letting me keep a copy."

Rachel nods. "If I'd recorded myself some other way, I'd have given you a copy."

Shelby's smile brightens. "Have you given it to your friends, yet?"

"No. Dads made copies and they're ready to be handed to them, just…not yet."

The smile dims, but she nods in understanding. "What have you been up to?"

"Mostly sleeping." She admits with a wry grin. "Watching movies with my dads. Talking to my friends. What about you? How's…um…..how's Beth?"

She may have accepted that her mother wasn't trying to replace her by adopting Beth, but that doesn't change the fact that her mother walked away from a relationship with her and adopted a different daughter. It still hurts. Despite this, she knows her mother loves her daughter and wants to be supportive of that. Besides, none of this is Beth's fault. She wants the best for the little girl…she just wants no part of the kid's life. She's merely asking to be polite. The way Shelby's eyes light up at the mention of the little girl causes mixed feelings in the teenager. Happiness and warmth that Beth makes her mother so happy and that clearly Beth is growing up in a warm, loving home. Hurt, because….well, she doubts Shelby ever lit up like that thinking about her.

"She's wonderful. She's getting big. I'm going to have to get baby gates soon."

The joy in her voice is obvious. She's absolutely thrilled to watch her little girl grow up. Rachel swallows down her bitter jealousy and forces another smile. "That's great."

Shelby's smile changes. She hesitates, then leans forward to take Rachel's hand. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to ask your dads for more pictures of you."

"Why?"

"Mostly so I have pictures of my eldest daughter as she grew up. I'd like to hang them next to Beth's pictures."

The tears that jump to her eyes are unexpected. So is the lump in her throat. "Really?"

Shelby's eyes swim with tears, too. "Yes. I wanted to ask sooner, but I didn't know how you'd take it. I didn't want to upset you. I want pictures of both of my little girls. And I want Beth to grow up seeing pictures of her big sister."

The tears leak out. Rachel's stomach twists. On the one hand, she has no desire to be a "big sister" to Beth. Whether she lives or dies. However, the idea that her mother wants Beth to know about Rachel and know she had another daughter…..that touches something deep in her. "Okay."

Shelby wipes the tears off her cheeks with gentle fingers. "You still don't understand how much I love you, Rachel. Beth is my daughter, yes. I'm thrilled to get to raise her. But she never can and never will replace you, my oldest daughter. Beth will grow up knowing you're her big sister."

"You really do love me. Like….like a Mom."

Shelby's own tears overflow, cascading over her smile. "Yes. I do. And I always will. I love you, Rachel. Always."

The sincerity in her voice convinces Rachel she's being honest. It sounds like a promise. Maybe it is. "I love you, too, Mom."

She called Shelby "Mom" a couple times immediately after finding out who she was. But after Shelby painfully corrected her "I'm your mother, I'm not your Mom" Rachel stopped. She forgave her for it, but it'll never stop hurting. This is the first time since then that she used it. She hopes Shelby doesn't mind. Shelby immediately pulls her into a tight embrace, crying and rocking her, kissing her head and cheek repeatedly. Rachel smiles through her own tears, hugging her back just as tight.

Guess she didn't mind.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The living room is full of teenagers. Her dads went upstairs to give them time to hang out with out parents around. They'd ordered food and have been eating and talking, just hanging out. No one comments on how little Rachel ate. No one comments on Tina having to hold her drink steady for her when her hand starts shaking too much. Just like no one commented when she'd dozed off earlier. She's glad they stayed. She's glad they're here. When they start quieting down and looking at her solemnly, she knows what's coming. She decides it might be best if she starts this conversation.

"Thank you, all of you, for giving me a second chance."

"Second chance?" Sam questions.

"Well, I was…..I was selfish. Arrogant. Rude. Demanding."

"A diva." Kurt says with a grin. The others laugh, so she knows it wasn't meant unkindly.

"Right. And not a pleasant one. I'm sorry for frustrating all of you—"

"Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there." Santana cuts her off. "Yes, you were kind of a bitch and annoyed us all. But we weren't exactly innocent, either. So we're sorry too. We've already discussed this. We all apologized and we all accepted and moved on."

"We just had to get to know one another better." Mercedes smiles.

"I know. And I'm thanking you for taking the time to get to know me and letting me get to know you."

"We all learned our lesson." Quinn says quietly.

Rachel looks around at them. "True. But I want you to truly understand the lesson I learned the hard way." When they all look at her expectantly, she goes on. "Before, nothing mattered more to me than getting on Broadway. No matter who I had to hurt or ruin to get my solos, to prove my worth, to better myself to reach my goal, I'd do it. I sacrificed friendships for solos because I thought getting to Broadway and getting that applause and fame was what mattered most. I still think it's important." Her friends chuckle and she grins. "I still want to get to Broadway. I still love solos, applause, and praise. But I've learned it's not what matters most. Relationships are. None of it would have mattered if I got to Broadway and had no one to share that success with. I know that now. For years all of my spare time was spent taking dance lessons, voice lessons, acting lessons, or practicing on my own. I'd rehearse for hours. Alone. I thought it made me better than everyone else. It didn't. It made me very talented and hard working, but also very lonely. And I didn't even realize it until Mike became my friend. Having his friendship, a real friend, made me realize how special it is. How important and necessary friendship really is. For a while I was really upset that I wasted years rehearsing for a future I'll never get. I'm still a little bitter about it, I won't lie. But I realized it wasn't for nothing. I'm very talented because of how hard I worked. That talent helped us win a couple competitions. I've been able to share my talent with friends and family. It might not have been shared with hundreds or thousands of strangers in a packed theater, but I did get to share it with people I care about. So…my lesson, which I want you to learn as well…..have a goal and work towards it, but don't sacrifice relationships for it. Have people in your life you love and who love you. That's what makes working towards your goal worth it. And they can help you achieve your goal. I've learned it's important to have someone to lean on. And being someone a friend can lean on. I'm proud of my talent. But I'm more proud of having all of you as friends. All of you, and your friendships, matter more to me than solos. Having someone to lean on when things get hard, or to celebrate your success with, matters so much more. It just took…..a lot….for me to learn that."

Kurt clears his throat. His face is wet. "Okay, so you're saying to have a goal, work towards it, have friends or at least one person to lean on, and don't sacrifice friendships for success."

"Yes. Exactly." She smiles warmly at him.

"I think that's a good lesson." Artie nods.

Noah nods, too. "And Hummel managed to say it in a quarter of the time Berry did." Rachel tries to throw a pillow at him while the others laugh. It doesn't go far. He holds up his hands innocently and grins at her. "Sorry, babe. No offense meant."

"I know I'm verbose." She admits sheepishly.

"One of the many traits we love about you." Brittany kisses her cheek.

"Or at least tolerate." Mike grins cheekily.

Rachel knows he's joking, but kicks him anyway. She smiles tiredly as her friends start teasing one another about annoying traits they have. It's a testament to how much their friendship has grown that they're doing this teasingly, with no hard feelings instead of getting mad or arguing.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Finn's laugh has always made her feel warm inside. It's just the two of them right now. It's been a week since all of her friends came over together. Since then, they've come over almost every day either by themselves or in pairs. She's not sure if its because they're trying not to tire her out, or some other reason. She sort of passed out shortly after her speech at the whole group visit. She'd talked a lot and even though it was just talking, it still took a lot of energy and a lot of air. Regardless of the reason, it's nice having friends visit so frequently. Even if she ends up falling asleep at some point during their visit. They understand and don't get offended or upset at all. She'll either wake up to them sitting quietly waiting for her to wake (sometimes holding her, sometimes not) or they'll have left a note for her before leaving. She thinks about Sam's note with amusement; "If I'd known you'd be so bored talking about Avatar, I wouldn't have spent an hour talking about it. I didn't start talking in Na'vi, did I? Next time I'll just do impressions!". Or Kurt's teasing note; "I can't believe you fell asleep while we were arguing about the best Broadway songs of all time! Shame on you. Kidding. Love 'ya, Diva!"

She's happy to spend time with them. She's had a lot of visitors. Shelby hasn't been back, but they've talked on the phone a couple times. Her grandmother has come a couple times. Her aunt, uncle, and cousin came once. A couple of her dads closer friends have stopped by briefly. It's all very nice, but to be honest, her favorite visits are from Mike, Tina, Finn, and Kurt. Kurt is the only close friend who loves Broadway almost as much as she does. He also has experience with panic attacks. She hasn't had many recently, but they still occur. Right now, Finn is visiting her alone. She'd awoken to find him sitting next to her bed with his feet up on the bed next to her. She'd whined about him getting dirt on her quilt so he'd taken his shoes off, then put his feet on top of her, making her laugh. They've been reminiscing and chatting on light topics since then. They way he's looking at her right now, though, tells her that's about to change.

"I'm sorry."

She sighs. "You already apologized for being a crappy boyfriend, Finn. And I pointed out that I wasn't the best girlfriend. We just….weren't right for one another."

Finn frowns. "Maybe."

"We'll never know."

"We will if you recover." He says quietly.

She frowns. The odds of that happening are extremely low. A nurse comes by to check on her everyday. There's an oxygen tank in the corner of her room. There's a bed pan hiding under her bed…..just in case she can't make it to her bathroom. They're talking about possibly stopping her treatments. She heard the word "terminal" during her dads last phone call with her doctor. Recover? That'd take a miracle. She's not giving up, but she's trying to be realistic; for her own peace of mind as much as everyone else's.

"Finn—"

"No, I know." He looks at her arm where an IV giving her fluid was put in by the nurse when she stopped by earlier. "It's unlikely. But not impossible."

She doesn't want to talk about this. "Our relationship may not have been steady, but I'm glad I got to be your girlfriend. I'm glad you were my first…and last…..boyfriend."

Finn smiles slightly. "I'm glad, too." Rachel peers into his eyes, debating asking him for a favor. He reads her face. "What is it?"

Rachel twists her quilt between her fingers nervously. "Do you…..do you think you could…" She chickens out and stops talking. Finn takes her hand and squeezes. He's waiting patiently. She gathers her courage. "Would you be willing to be my last kiss? I know you technically already are, but then we broke up and it wasn't exactly happy, so—"

His lips press against hers, cutting her off. He pulls back and gazes into her eyes. He gives her a moment to catch her breath. She lets her fingers lightly trace his face. He lets her. When her hand starts shaking from the exertion of keeping it up, he gently grasps it. He kisses her palm, then lowers her hand to the bed. Her eyelids are starting to feel heavy. It's not surprising, but it is annoying. Now it's his turn to lightly trace her features.

"I wasn't good to you. I should have been a better boyfriend. I'm sorry. You deserved better. But please know that I really did….do…..love you, Rachel. You'll always be my first love."

"But Quinn—" She mumbles.

He shakes his head. "I loved her, but I realized I was never in love with her. I've only ever been in love with you."

She gasps lightly. He kisses her again, slower and gentler this time. Butterflies erupt in her stomach. She falls asleep feeling her lips tingle.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"We fought again. We've been fighting a lot."

"About what?" Rachel shifts to get more comfortable. She has bruises from spending so much time lying down, so she's on her side at the moment. Mike helps her shift and makes sure the blanket is still covering her.

"School. My future. He wants me to be a doctor." He won't tell her that his dad doesn't want him spending time with her. His mom has been helping on that front, at least. She yelled at his dad for a while when she found out about it. She berated him pretty fiercely, then tried to reason with him. With his mom mediating, Mike and his dad came to a compromise; Mike can continue to spend time with Rachel as long as his remains a straight A student and doesn't fail another test or quiz. He'd agreed instantly. Besides, since Glee and football are both technically over, he has more free time.

"It's what he's always wanted for you, right?"

"Yeah."

"But you want to dance."

He doesn't answer right away. "Yes. And no."

She looks surprised. "What do you mean? You love dancing as much as I love singing."

"I know. And I'm sure I always will. It's what I'm passionate about. I was never passionate about wanting to be a doctor because it was never my dream. It was always his."

They've discussed this before, so she knows. "You should do what you're passionate about."

"I wasn't passionate about being a doctor. I didn't want to be a doctor. Before. But now….I don't know. I'm starting to think it might be a good idea. I might want it after all."

He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He sitting on the floor leaning against the recliner so that even though she's lying down, they're still face to face. "What changed your mind?"

"Well…it'd make my dad happy. My mom, too, probably."

"Mike, your mom just wants you to be happy."

"Yeah, but she wants peace between me and dad, too. There'll be peace if I agree to be a doctor."

"And you're thinking you might want that?" He bites his lip. He knows she wants to understand him so that she can help. Even if it's just to act as a sounding board for him. "Why?"

"I've been thinking….I…." He's never admitted this to anyone. "I might want to be a hematologist."

Her eyes widen and he's pretty sure she stopped breathing for a moment. "A blood doctor."

He nods nervously, trying to read her expression. "Yeah. I want to work in a lab, though, not with patients. I think. I want to be on a team working on a cure for aplastic anemia. So that no one else has to go through this."

Her eyes water. "Mike…that's…that's wonderful. But you love dancing!"

He shrugs. "I do. But my dad is right. I'm one injury away from ending my career."

"So are professional athletes. And any other dancer or performer. If it's what you love and you're passionate about—"

"I'm pretty damn passionate about curing AA." He interrupts softly.

She gives a wobbly smile. "I'm touched, Mike. If that's what you truly what you want to do and are looking forward to it, great. If not, then stick with your plan of being a dancer."

"Honestly, I'm still a little torn. On the one hand, I really love dancing. I'm pretty sure I always will. But I also love you and I love the idea of being on the team that cures AA. Even if it's….years too late for you…"

"I'll still be honored. But Mike, you've never shown any interest in being a doctor before."

"To be fair, I never had a friend dying from an illness that doesn't have a cure before. It's pretty fucking motivating."

She makes a choking sound, her hand over her mouth, and he can't decide if she's laughing or crying. He frowns and leans closer to offer comfort. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and he holds her against him. With her head right against his ear, he realizes she's both laughing and crying. When she calms down, she leans back.

"Mike, I love you. I am honored that you're even considering this. But it's your future. It's what you'll be doing for the rest of your life. The only thing that should matter is what you want to do. When you see yourself ten years in the future, what do you want to see?"

He takes a deep breath and really thinks about it. "I come home from work to my wife, Tina, and our kids. Tina tells me that she spoke with you that afternoon and you'll be coming that weekend for the opening of my new dance show. My parents, too. Everyone is happy for me and excited to see the show."

Rachel's smile is sad. "Mike—"

"You asked what I wanted. That's what I want."

He feels guilty when she swallows hard and looks away for a moment. She lowers her voice. "Mike. Be realistic."

He sits quietly while trying to word a more realistic future for himself. "Married to Tina. Kids. Oldest daughter named after the best friend I'll miss for the rest of my life. As for my career…..I really don't know, Rach. I love dancing. But I also love the idea of curing aplastic anemia."

Rachel is smiling and has wet eyes. "Maybe you could find a way to do both. Getting your medical degree and becoming a scientist to cure diseases as your career and doing dance on the side? Maybe you could split your year? Part of the year be dedicated to dancing and the rest be for working on curing diseases."

Hope ignites in his heart and a smile spreads across his face. "That would be amazing. That's what I want."

"I don't know how you'd make it work, though."

"I'll figure that out. Now I have a goal."

"A very ambitious goal. Good for you." Mike smiles proudly. "But Mike, please remember that your career should be something you love and want to do. If your desires change and your goal changes, that's fine. Follow your heart."

He kisses her cheek. "I will. I promise."

"And while it's very sweet, don't name your kid after me."

"Why not?"

"I always feel like it'd put a lot of unnecessary pressure on a child when they are old enough to understand that they're named after a loved one who passed on. If they feel like they have to live up to their namesake, it could case stress or resentment."

Mike slowly shakes his head, still smiling. "I don't always understand you, but I love you."

"Ditto." Rachel laughs. Her smile changes, then, becoming nostalgic.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking…I don't remember the last time I danced. It was my last dance and I don't remember it."

Something sharp stabs his chest. Not just at her words, but at her tone. He makes an abrupt decision and stands. He digs through his backpack to find his small Bluetooth speaker. He connects his phone and chooses a song.

"Mike?"

He bows before her. "M'lady. May I have this dance?"

Her jaw drops, then she smiles brightly. "Yes, but—"

He doesn't let her finish. He also doesn't explain. He simply lifts her off the couch. Rachel wraps her arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around her waist. Her legs dangle, her feet a good foot off the floor. He moves round the room in graceful, sweeping movements. He leads her though a gentle waltz. She giggles, her smile stretching from cheek to cheek and eyes sparkling. He does his best to keep a smile on his face and the tears at bay. He never wants to forget this moment. Feeling strong enough, he holds her body against his with one arm. With the other, he takes her hand, holding her in the traditional waltz position. He doesn't notice her fathers standing in the doorway watching with smiles. Hiram pulls out his phone and records them without either noticing. The two teens laugh and cling to one another while Mike sweeps them around the room to the music. When the song ends, both have wide smiles and tears in their eyes.

"Thank you for the dance, good sir." Rachel tugs at her long shirt like a dress in the imitation of a curtesy.

"You are more than welcome, m'lady." He bows his head to her.

Rachel wraps both arms around his neck once more. "You're the best friend ever, Mike. I love you."

"I love you, too."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

These days, she only gets out of bed when someone lifts her out of it. She isn't strong enough to even sit up on her own anymore. She sleeps most of the day. Her dads spend all day with her. The hospice nurse bathes her every other day. She hates that, but is also grateful that she gets clean. And it's better than having her dads bathe her. Rachel doesn't have the words to express how much she loves her dads and how grateful she is to them. Thankfully, they know. She feels different today, she just can't put her finger on how. Mike comes to visit today. Of course he does. He's been coming every day, even if it's just for a couple minutes. For the most part, her dads leave them alone when he or another friend come over. Her dad hugs her tight, kisses her cheek, and tells her how much he loves her. She does the same. Daddy hugs her and kisses her temple.

"We'll be just downstairs, sweetheart."

"I know. I love you, Daddy." Her voice isn't very strong. It hasn't been in a few days.

"We love you, too. So much."

Her Dad grabs her Daddy's hand and they leave Mike and Rachel alone. Mike sits on the bed with her and smiles.

"How are you feeling today?" He's one of the few brave enough to ask.

"Different."

"Oh? How so?" His eyes are intent and hopeful.

"I don't really know. Just…..different."

"That's very specific and helpful. Thank you."

She gives him a mild glare, then laughs lightly. He joins her.

"Okay, how about…..emotionally? I know you were having a hard time yesterday."

It's true. She'd been crying a lot, torn between anger at dying so young and incredibly sad that she won't get a future. Her dads had held her and let her cry it out, comforting her. They had helped her feel better. So had Mike and Tina when they'd come over.

"Actually, pretty good."

Mike grins. "Yeah?"

She smiles back. "Yeah. I was…thinking."

"About what?"

"All the good times I've had. Especially in the past…..couple months." She frowns lightly at becoming short of breath, then shakes it off. It's fairly common now. Her chest is heavy. But her heart is light. "Skating under….fairy lights….sledding down…..the escalator…karaoke…..just…..hanging out…with you guys….and my dads."

Mike smiles softly. "They were definitely good times. They're some of my favorite memories. I also love that time you were getting your treatment in the hospital and Santana dared Puck to flirt with your male nurse."

Rachel grins and laughs a light, breathy laugh at the memory. "That was…really….funny."

"Yeah, it was."

"Having such a great…..group of friends…..has been….amazing."

Mike goes on, talking happily about other good memories. All of them involve her. His voice is soothing and she smiles faintly while listening to him talk. His voice and the warmth it brings coasts over her and through her in a comforting way. She takes his hand and he squeezes it gently. Her best friend keeps talking and she listens happily. The details in his memories help her recall those moments herself. He describes happy memory after happy memory. There seems to be no end to them. Her smile grows. Her heart is light and peaceful. From what he is describing, he's painting a picture of a life well lived. With her. She hopes he knows none of it would have been possible without him. He's the one who discovered her secret. But he didn't ignore her or use it against her. He used it to strengthen himself and speak up on her behalf. He became someone she could could count on, someone she could lean on, a friend to trust and cherish. Mike made this possible. His friendship, his heart, his strength. She wishes nothing but the best for him. She hopes he knows his importance in her life. The positive impact he made. Her life is better because of him. She..also…hopes….she…..made…a….positive…..impact…..in…his….life,…too…..She….will…..always…..….be…...gr

XxxxxxxxxxX