~.~
Chapter Thirteen
~.~
Winter came and with it a thick blanket of snow which fell over the little colony by the sea. But the deep drifts did not stop the traffic to Bella and Edward's house in the evenings. A path was always worn through the snow to their door, dozens of trails through the little town that converged in front of their stoop.
Girls arrived with heavy clumps of snow caked to the hems of their dresses and cloaks which they shook out by the door. They huddled around the fireplace and cupped their hands gratefully around cups of hot mulled cider that Alice doled out.
Alice's prayer meetings took up more and more of their first floor and so Bella and Edward ended up staying upstairs most evenings with the babies, reading by candlelight. Bella had a brass brazier set up in the middle of the room which helped ward off some of the chill, and the shuttered windows were covered with heavy tapestries, but it was still cold. Most evenings found all four of them snuggled beneath the quilts in the feather bed while Bella read aloud from the adventures of King Arthur and his gallant knights.
"I think she has half the women in the colony down there," Edward said one evening, peeking from the top of the stairs. "And a few men, too." The last was said with a bit of surprise because until now, Alice's meetings had been exclusively female.
Bella sighed. "I shall have to buy more cider." The visitors had already gone through most of her stores, but they couldn't let guests go without refreshment. It violated the code of hospitality.
"Don't mention it to Alice," Edward said, blowing on his hands to warm them as he came back over to the bed. "She already feels bad about the burden on our finances, and says she's going to take in sewing to try to help pay for it."
Bella waved a hand. " 'Tis nothing, as you well know."
"Aye, but she feels she should contribute, and I will not make her feel a visitor in her own home by refusing it. In any case, she could also start saving up for items to put in her hope chest."
"Any word on those particular hopes?" Bella asked.
Edward sighed. "I know not. Plymouth Colony has no shortage of single men, but I would find one with whom my sister could form an agreeable union. But I'm not sure who my sister is becoming. My thoughts on an ideal husband for her are not the same as they once were."
"Perhaps some input from the woman in question would not be amiss." Bella arched an eyebrow.
Edward gave her a playful glower. "Do you think I am the sort of man not to ask my sister what she would prefer in such a serious matter? Of course I spoke to her of it. But all Alice would say is that God would lead her to His choice for her spouse, or it could be God's will she remain unwed."
"Did you tell her of your father's time limit?"
"I did. She was unconcerned. Bella, she really does believe God will work everything out as it should be, and so she's not sparing any worry over it."
"Her faith is strong."
"It is, but ..." Edward shook his head.
"What?"
Bella could tell he had been thinking this over. "What would you say to a fisherman who shoved his boat out into the bay and said God would steer it to the school of fish he was meant to catch? And if he catches none, no matter. God will feed his family somehow."
Bella nodded. "I understand. But give Alice some time. she is still working out this new ... awakening. If she hasn't come to discovering her path by this spring, we will take more decisive action."
Edward seemed relieved. "Aye, that may work."
Bella glanced down at the babies. "Can you put them into their cradles? They're fast asleep."
Edward lifted each one carefully and laid them down into the deep, hooded cradles, tucking the blankets around them to keep them warm.
"Tomorrow is Christmas," Bella murmured as he climbed back in beside her and snuggled close to her warm body.
"Oh, aye?" Edward yawned as he stretched. "I'd forgotten."
"I regret there's no celebration here. I used to enjoy Christmas with you." She remembered searching for the Yule log with him in the deep, snowy forest. The Christmas celebrations in Elizabeth's reign had always been filled with an infectious spirit of fun, dancing and feasting in halls lit with thousands of candles and scented by pine boughs twined with holly. On Twelfth Night, they would exchange gifts, which had been Edward's favorite part of the holiday. He loved to give presents, and would spend the better part of the year thinking of the perfect gift. "Does the governor allow no celebration at all?"
"Governor Bradford has gotten more strict about that," Edward said. "The first year, he had all the colonists out cutting trees on Christmas Day to forestall any potential celebrations of it, but encountered some Strangers from the Fortune who refused to work on the holiday. Bradford said that if it was a matter of conscience for them, he'd excuse them until they had learned our ways."
"I doubt he let it pass without a sermon that Christmas isn't mentioned in the Bible and thus shouldn't be celebrated," Bella said with a small smile.
Edward chuckled. "I do not know, but doubtless you're correct. In any case, Bradford walked away but when he returned a few hours later, he found the Strangers playing games, and he was incensed. He took away their game pieces and told them it was contrary to his conscience to have them playing while other worked, and if they must observe the day, they had to spend it in quiet devotion in their homes, as he'd have no Foolstide here."
Bella couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, but she would abide by this colony's customs as much as she could. With all of the traffic in the house, she couldn't dare decorate for fear it would get back to Bradford. But perhaps they could cook a festive meal, and no one would know if she gave Edward a New Year's gift.
"I'd love some of that cider," Edward said with a sigh. His nightcap was awry. Bella straightened it for him.
"I'll go." She slipped from the bed and pushed her feet into a pair of soft leather shoes she kept for wearing around the house. She took one of her dresses from the wardrobe and slipped it on over her chemise. She eyed her nightgown as she did. At court, high-ranking noble ladies could receive visitors in their apartment wearing their nightgown, but that wasn't acceptable here.
Bella made her way down the steep stairs, holding a candle in one hand to light her way, holding up her skirt with the other to avoid tripping. If no one could see, she wouldn't have bothered with the candle, because her night vision was almost as good as the day, and she would have just hopped down the stairs in a blink. But since she might be seen, she had to do it as human women did, making her slow and awkward way down. Even with her superior balance it was tricky, and she wondered how human women managed it.
The main room was crowded with people, seated on every available surface. Girls sat on the floor in pools of skirts around Alice, who had perched on a chair at the side of the fireplace. She sewed as she spoke, and it seemed her audience was soaking up every word, leaning toward her to catch her soft voice over the crackle of the flames. They didn't seem to notice Bella tiptoeing through their midst.
Bella didn't really listen to what Alice was saying - something about the importance of forgiveness - as she made her way toward the cider keg, but she did notice something interesting. Jasper was standing at the back of the room near the book case. Bella had prudently taken her books upstairs when Alice started hosting meetings here, and the shelves were used for household items now. Jasper's elbow rested on one of the shelves, propping up his chin as he watched Alice. His expression was thoughtful as his fingers tapped against his jaw.
Alice glanced up, and she met Jasper's eyes from across the room. Their glaze clung for just a moment before Alice tipped her head back down and resumed her stitching, but Bella saw a little smile tug at her lips.
~.~
As Edward had told her, Christmas was just another day in Plimouth Colony. Perhaps even more somber than usual. Heavy snowfall made for an unpleasant walk to the Meeting House, and parents called down the few boys who dared to toss snowballs, perhaps out of fear someone might think they were celebrating.
At break, they all scrambled for the warm tavern for bowls of stew and hot drinks, but all the tavern served today was ordinary beer, perhaps concerned that mulled cider would seem to festive. At the end of the evening, there was a tumult in the back of the meeting house as everyone piled on cloaks and shawls for the bitterly cold walk home through the driving snow. Edward had just found Alice and Bella deep within the crowd when a voice called his name.
At one time, the voice of Governor Bradford asking Edward to stop for a few words after Meeting would have given Edward great pleasure, but all he felt now was impatience to go home. Outside the Meeting House, the snow was falling in heavy swirls, driven by an icy wind. Several inches had piled up in the last few hours, and the lowering skies promised more to come.
"Just a moment of your time," the Governor said.
Edward nodded. He turned to his family. They were near the door, and Bella was supervising the wrapping of the children in their cloaks and several layers of shawls. Each wore a pair of thick mitts over their hands, and all Edward could see of them were their eyes peeping above the heavy wool wrapped around their necks.
Bella lifted Emmett in one arm and held the bail handle of her foot warmer in the other. It was a small, velvet-covered footstool into which hot coals from the fireplace had been shoveled before they set out. Bella and Alice had spread their skirts over it to keep their feet and legs warm during the service because the hems of their dresses were soaked to the knees from the slog up the hill through the deep snow.
The women who didn't have a warmer shivered in silence on their bench in the unheated Meeting House. The whole room stank of wet wool, and the service was punctuated by the sound of snow melting from cloaks to drip on the wood floor.
"I'll be home soon," Edward told Bella.
"Make haste," she said. "The storm ..." Her large dark eyes shone with worry. Knowing her connection to nature, he trusted her assessment of the weather.
"Very soon," he promised. He helped tug her warm hat into place and then watched as they all filed through the door into the driving snow. He followed Bradford to the front of the Meeting House where their words might not be overheard by the departing crowd.
"I will be brief," Bradford said. "You and I had spoken at harvest time regarding your sister's ... situation."
"We did." Edward said, acknowledging the conversation, but adding nothing to it. Bradford could make what he would out of Edward's decision not to evict his sister.
I might never be an Elder, Edward thought, but I will be a brother.
Bradford turned his hat in his hands. "Her reputation has become much redeemed, and you are to be commended for that, but I must be frank. From the viewpoint of the Elders, the situation is not improved by her meetings in your home."
Edward took his own hat from its peg and settled it on his head. "There is no harm in meeting for prayer and discussing Godly matters. Such meetings have always been acceptable."
Bradford paused. He seemed to be searching for words, and his eyes pleaded with Edward to understand. "They're not simple prayer meetings, Edward. She is leading church services in your home. A woman leading a church service. It's unscriptural. "
A chill swept through Edward that had nothing to do with the temperature. "A church? Why would you call it thus?"
"Do you know what is being said under your own roof?" Bradford demanded. "Have you not listened to your sister?"
"I have not," Edward admitted. "Why should I trouble myself to listen to a women's prayer meeting?" He tried to chuckle, as though it were an inconsequential matter, but the back of his neck prickled. This was dangerous territory. Oh, Alice, what are you doing?
"I am told that last Thursday was devoted to discussing the message from Wednesday's Meeting, and Alice gave her own interpretation of the Elder's words."
A spy in the camp, Edward thought, but then he realized Alice would boldly and gladly have told Bradford what they discussed if he asked her. She saw no shame in it, and neither would Edward.
"Surely sermons are not a forbidden topic of discussion," Edward said, and tried to form his face into a smile. "What more righteous thing is there for them to discuss than the word of God?"
"Your sister is no learned person to give her own interpretation of wiser men's words," Bradford snapped. " 'Tis not her place to -"
Edward held up his hands, and Bradford faltered to a halt. "I will discuss it with her, but I admit I see little harm in women mulling over the lesson amongst themselves."
Bradford's hands crushed the brim of his hat. "It is not only women at these meetings."
Edward knew that. "Jasper attended, as I am told."
"He is not the only one. Women have begun to bring their husbands with them to these meetings." Bradford slapped his hat on his head. "These unauthorized meetings will only serve to confuse the faithful."
"You wish me to close my door to any men who might want to attend with their wives?" Edward asked, his tone mild, though his heart pounded.
"I wish you to tell her to cease this disturbance of the peace. If I have to tell her, she may not like the manner in which the message is delivered."
Edward felt his hand clench into a fist and forced it to relax so he could slide on his glove. "As you say, Governor."
"She needs to be married, Edward. Had she a husband, she wouldn't have time for this nonsense."
"I am currently engaged in settling that very matter."
Bradford looked relieved. He adjusted his hat. "The sooner, the better, I should think."
Edward simply nodded and gave Bradford a short bow before heading toward the door. The Governor's voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Edward, I do not wish you should take this amiss. I only want what is best for you and the colony. Do not cast aside the potential you have. I do not think you are a weak man who would be swayed by fondness for your sister. You must take a firm hand in this matter if she is to be under your roof." Bradford sighed and his voice gentled as he tried to become more persuasive. "You are a man of means and influence, Edward. God has favored you highly, and you are meant to take a place among this colony's leadership. You must simply obey God's will."
Edward understood what he meant. Obedience to one's elders and leaders was obedience to God, who had ordained the social order. But Edward could no longer agree that having money equated to having God's favor. As his memories came back, and he recalled the earls and dukes, princes and prelates he had known, he saw no superior morality in them than in the lowly. A countess might feel she was chosen by God for her wealth and lofty station, but her charwoman might be more charitable and Christian. Edward felt his brow crease, troubled by these thoughts, for they ran contrary to everything he had been taught. But that was what Bella had brought into his life. Myriad questions, many with no apparent answer. Questions he was not supposed to ask.
But now he was to feel that Bella's money gave him the right to lead this community?
He smiled at Bradford, and this time it was genuine, because he felt a sense of relief at the sudden clarity.
He didn't want it. And he would not concede to the Elders' wishes for the chance of joining them.
"Good evening, Governor." Edward pulled his cloak around him and pushed open the door to head out into the blinding snow.
~.~
"I can't see anything," Alice called. She gripped Bella's hand as they trudged through the snow that was up to their knees. Their path had been obliterated by the fresh fall. To reduce the risk of fire, they left no lamps burning at home and the fireplace had been banked. There was no light from any of the buildings, and even at this short distance, it would be easy to become disorientated in the shifting winds that swirled the snow around them.
"Fear not," Bella called, pulling down the edge of her scarf so Alice could hear her. "I can see the house."
Alice cupped a mittened hand over her eyes to shield them. "I can see nothing but darkness and snow."
"Just a bit further." Bella tugged on their joined hands and led her toward the house. Drifts were piled up high along the walls. She had to remove her mitten to reach into her pocket for the key.
"Praise God," Alice said as Bella pushed open the door and they hurried inside, shutting it against the howling wind. Their skirts had carried in a small drift of snow, scattered on the rug by the door. Bella smothered a smile, because at one time, Alice hadn't even wanted to step on those fine carpets with her shoes, but now she negligently shook the clumps of snow from her skirts, and stomped her boots to remove the caked snow.
"I'll put a lamp in the window so Edward can see his way home," Alice said. She gathered one of the rush lamps from the shelf and knelt next to the fireplace to touch the wick to one of the embers. It caught, and she carefully carried it over to sit on the sill, pulling back the tapestry to let the light shine through the gap in the shutters.
Bella began excavating the children from their wraps while Alice stirred up the fireplace. "What do you think Governor Bradford wanted with Edward?"
Alice fed the kindling into the coals and sprinkled a bit of sawdust between the slivers of wood. She bent her head down to blow on it. "Like as not to complain to him about my meetings."
Bella hung up Emmett's shawl. "Oh, no ..."
Alice laughed as Rose attempted to toddle across the room, still under her piles of shawls and tipped over from their weight. She went to help her up. "I was expecting as much. I did not imagine they had gone unnoticed." She fed pieces of wood into the fire then began to peel away Rose's layers.
"Will there be trouble?" Bella asked. Emmett wriggled out of his cloak and took off across the room, but returned quickly to ask for it back. It was cold enough in the house that their breath hung in clouds as they spoke.
Alice took off Rose's scarves and shawls but left her cloak in place until the house had warmed. The babies plopped down in front of their toy basket. "I cannot say. I do not know God's plan."
"Alice I need to know if I should be afraid," Bella said quietly as Alice went back to stoking the fire. "In England, I saw what happened to those who opposed the church. I need for my family to be safe."
"We are safe, Bella," Alice said. "God will take care of us."
"You don't understand!" Bella dropped to her knees beside Alice and seized her arms. "Alice, this isn't ... this is our lives."
Alice reached out to touch Bella's cheek. "You have many fears."
Bella smacked her hand away and Alice's eyes widened. "You would too, had you witnessed what I did. You have never heard the screams of a man as he is burning alive. You have never -"
"Oh, Bella, you should have come to me with this before now. I had no idea you harbored such thoughts." Alice put her arms around Bella and Bella let her. She fought not to fall against Alice and sob. Alice didn't know. She didn't have the same memories as Bella. What she had was faith. But Bella had seen people carry that very same faith with them into the flames.
She stared into the growing fire on the hearth as Alice murmured words of comfort, but Bella wasn't listening. She as remembering. She was remembering a pair of eyes crazed with hate and a stake being built even before the trial was concluded.
The door opened and Edward entered, his whole form coated with snow. Bella jumped up and ran over to him, seizing him in a fierce hug. "Is all well?" she demanded.
"For now." Edward took her in his arms. "Bella, you're shaking."
"I can't do this again," she whispered to him.
"You won't have to. Not my family."
"You can't promise that."
No," he admitted. "I can't. But I will do everything in my power ..." He closed his eyes and looked over her shoulder at his sister, still standing by the fireplace. "Alice."
"Aye, brother."
"This has to end," Edward said simply. He stepped away from Bella and removed his hat. Bella took it from him and began to hang up the layers he removed, down to his cloak.
"It's in the hands of God," Alice said. "I but do His bidding."
"You must do my bidding first," Edward said. "It's not that I wish to say this, but Alice, under my roof -"
She held up a hand. "Before you say anything further, Edward, realize that I can only claim they are private meetings if they take place in my home."
Edward's shoulders sagged.
"It is my only protection. I do not wish to disobey you, but I must do as God is asking me to do."
Edward raked a hand through his rusty hair. It reminded Bella so much of the Duke of Cullen that her heart ached for a moment. "Why is Jasper attending?"
For the first time, Alice seemed a little flustered. "I don't - He's simply - What do you -?"
"Why has he been attending your meetings?" Edward repeated. He took one of the jugs and turned the wood peg on the keg near the fireplace. Cider poured into the spout. He handed it to Bella and she fetched a kettle and a net bag. From the key on her belt, she unlocked the spice box and began to add pinches to the little bag until she judged it was enough. Tying the top, she tossed it into the kettle and poured in the cider before hanging it on the cast iron arm and nudged it over the fire with a poker.
Alice licked her lips. "I am not sure. I do not know if it's because he feels the call of God, or if it's for ... other reasons." She ducked her head and a hint of a blush stained her cheeks.
"Bradford wants me to marry you off," Edward said. "I know Bella spoke to you of our father's time limit on me finding you a husband. Now i'm getting pressure from both to make a decision quickly. Tell me Alice, is he your choice?"
She shook her head a little, dazed. "Edward, I'm not sure. I don't know ... I must pray on it." She twisted her hands for a moment and then looked up at him. "Would it ... would it be to your liking?"
Edward sighed. "Alice, I know not. I want you to be happy. If you feel you would be happiest with him, then I will approve the match. I know he hurt you. Hurt you deeply. But if you can forgive him, and you feel he has learned from this experience ..."
Alice stirred the cider, though it wasn't necessary. She tapped the spoon on the rim of the kettle before turning back to him. "I cannot say. I do believe he has done a lot of searching within his own soul, and perhaps he has come to an understanding of what made him behave as he did. And I, too, have come to understand - and to forgive. Maybe God is leading him back into my life. I should pray on it."
"Pray fast," Edward said bluntly. "Alice, I know it is a momentous decision, but I fear it may be taken from my hands if you do not decide quickly. And I would have it be your decision. If you decide Jasper is not who you wish to marry, I will try to delay as long as possible, but if you do not decide on another man posthaste, I fear you may be given no choice at all once Bradford and our father confer."
He settled into a chair at the table and Bella checked the cider. It was hot enough. She poured a mug for Edward and he took a deep, grateful sip. "My thanks to you, love." He put the mug down and leaned forward. "Alice, I will not pretend I understand what is happening for you. I know only that I love you and want nothing but your happiness. Bella and I both would be happy if you brought your husband home to live here after you wed."
If the husband was Bradford's selection, Bella thought, Alice would be wise to bring him here. At least Edward could offer her some protection. She thought of James's evil grin when he watched Alice, and she couldn't suppress a shudder as she poured Alice some cider before filling her own tankard. But even Edward's status only went so far in interfering between a husband and his wife.
"I know," Alice said. She thanked Bella for the cider and turned the mug in her hands for a moment. "And I love both of you dearly for it. Bella, you are my sister now, and the greatest blessing God has ever given me. Without you, none of this would have ever happened."
Bella tried to smile, but she wasn't certain what had transpired had all been for the best, as far as Alice was concerned.
A blast of cold wind shook the house and Edward glanced at the tapestry covered windows that billowed slightly in the draft. "I must needs bring in more wood."
"I will help." Bella stood and went to get her cloak.
Both Alice and Edward protested about her getting cold and the heavy labor involved in hauling wood, but Bella insisted. She went out the door with Edward, following him around to the side of the house where the wood was stacked. Edward brushed off a layer of snow and moved the split chunks aside to reach drier ones below. Bella held out her arms.
"I would rather you had told her that she couldn't have the meetings here," Bella said as he laid a few in her arms.
Edward turned to her, blinking his eyes against the stinging snow. "I could not. 'Twouldn't be fair to her, after all. Alice will have her prayer meetings whether I permit it or not. If I forbid her the house, she'll have them in the yard. If I forbid her the yard, she'll have them in the street. She won't stop them, and telling her she couldn't have them in our home would take away the only thin thread of protection she has."
Bella was silent for a long moment. The wind drove icy pellets of snow against the house and she heard the scraping clunks of him gathering the chunks of wood. Her voice was so soft, it was almost lost in the wind. "Do you remember?"
He didn't need to ask what she meant. "Some of it. I remember a man in flames, screaming, beating his chest to try to stop his stubbornly beating heart." Edward looked off into the swirling snow.
"Bishop Hooper," Bella said. "He was the first we saw, but not the last. Anne Askew. Rose."
"Rose?" He dropped the wood he had just picked from the pile. "Our Rose?"
Bella nodded. "She confessed to witchcraft to save me. Perhaps it's best if you never recover all of your memories from those times. It was ... I have no words for how terrible it was. I won't endure it again, Edward. I'll not submit to seeing those I care about die in agony. Not when I have the ability to save them. I am not helpless, and I'll not pretend to be if those I love are in danger."
She scooped up a large armload of wood and headed for the house, carrying it as though it were a bundle of twigs. She glanced back over her shoulder. "Grab what you can and come along. This should be enough."
"Alice ..."
"Is upstairs. I heard her go up. Come."
They went back inside and stacked the wood by the fireplace. Sure enough, Edward heard steps on the stairs. Alice peeked down at them. "I bid you good night. The babes are asleep in their beds."
Edward said goodnight to her and Bella settled down into a chair by the fire after getting herself another mug of the steaming cider. "Methinks she is trying to avoid us going to bed so early."
"Praying, more likely," Edward said.
"It troubles me to see her so ... fervent."
"Is it because you are not a Christian?" Edward met her eyes and Bella was the one to look away.
"No. It's that I have seen the cost of obsession over my long years. Be it the obsession with religion, obsession with material gain, or obsession with another person. It rarely ends well."
Edward slipped from his chair to sit on the floor beside her. He traced a pattern on her thigh through her skirt. "I am obsessed with you."
"There is a difference between obsession and love," Bella countered. "Obsession is posession. Love is giving."
"Love is patient, love is kind," Edward quoted as he brushed back a lock of her hair. "Love beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away."
She closed her eyes and kissed him, wrapping her arms tight around him as if she could hold him against her and protect him from all of the evils of this world.
"Come," he whispered. He stood and held out a hand. "I want to hold my wife in my arms."
She glanced over at the still-burning fire.
"I'll come back down later to check it," he promised. "Besides, on a night like this, we need to keep warm."
Outside, the snow piled deep around the little colony by the sea, the tiny houses on the shore of a new world. The icy wind rattled the windows, but inside their home, in their room, in their bed, it was just the two of them, and for a while, the world was nothing but warm skin, gasps and sighs. Nothing but love that endured all.
~.~
Historical notes:
- "Foolstide" was one of the contemptuous names the Pilgrims called Christmas. They were outraged at the secular revelries that surrounded the holidays. Hugh Latimer wrote that Christmas celebrations "dishonor[ed] Christ more in the 12 days of Christmas than in all the 12 months besides." There was a booklet written later in 1686 that condemned the holiday: "Christmas ... thou hast from time to time, abused the people of this Common-wealth, drawing and inticing them to Drunkenness, gluttony, & unlawful Gaming, Wantonness, Uncleanness, Lasciviousness, Cursing, Swearing, abuse of the Creatures, some to one Vice, and some to another; all to Idleness..." Christmas didn't become a legal holiday in New England until the 1850s, and some schools stayed open on Christmas Day all the way up to the 1870s.
- A nightgown was more like what we'd call a housecoat or a bathrobe, but much fancier. It wasn't a garment for sleeping, but for wearing in the mornings before getting dressed in the stiff, confining court dresses. Henry VIII once bought one for Anne Boleyn made of black satin with a collar and cuffs of expensive black sable. A few historians have wondered if that's what she's wearing in the disputed Holbein sketch identified as the queen.
