Several weeks later Olivia is sitting on her couch on her pajamas reading a gossip magazine. She yawns, and contemplates turning in for the evening. She pauses for a moment, and presses her hand against her shirt. The bump glares back at her as her unborn child undoubtedly does back flips.
Noah has gleefully gone with Amanda, Carisi, and the girls for movie night. Olivia's phone dings, and she once again ignores the party on the other end. A knock on the door elicits her attention. She rises from the couch wearing her baggiest vintage NYPD t-shirt, and a pair of grey jersey cotton shorts. Her dark locks are tangled into a poorly secured bun. She rises to her feet, and crosses the room. As she peers out of the peephole she begins to panic.
"I know that you're in there. I heard you walk over to the door," Rafael calls her out.
"I am just getting ready for bed."
"I haven't seen you in months, and you've been ghosting me. Liv, come on."
Begrudgingly she unlocks the door, and pulls it open. Giving him a less than cordial greeting she returns to the couch before he even manages to make it through the door. She hurriedly takes a seat, and grabs a cushion that she strategically places in her lap.
"You haven't been returning my calls, and you've been ignoring my texts. Liv what gives?"
She tilts her head, "Barba I am certainly not sitting around here pining for you if that is what you are suggesting."
His brow curls in confusion. He lowers himself into an adjacent armchair. "I'm not. I am concerned about you."
"I'm fine."
"Then why are you avoiding me?"
"Months ago you made it very clear where I fall on your list of priorities. All I needed was a conversation, and you basically blew me off."
"You said that it wasn't that important."
Olivia's nostrils flare as she nods, "Because nothing is important as your work, or social calendar. I guess I value our friendship more than you do."
"Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't realize how important it was to you. I am town until tomorrow, and I hope that you are willing to overlook my callousness. I have great news that I can't wait to share with you. I thought I could take you out to dinner, or drinks, whatever you prefer."
"I am not really interested. You can tell me your good news now, if you want."
"I had really hoped you would come meet Isabel. She is incredible. I really think that the two of you would hit it off. It would mean a lot to me if you would give your seal of approval."
"It is your life. You hardly require my approval on your flavor of the week."
"I was thinking about asking her to marry me."
"Look, Rafael, I am not in a place to offer you any opinion about the object of your affection."
"Why are you so angry with me?"
The vein in Olivia's forehead noticeably pulsates as she angrily grips the throw pillow on her lap. She offers a weighted exhale before she answers.
"Barba, what makes you think that you can swoop back in, and expect me to show up as your old pal? Relationships are reciprocal. The only time you seem to want to connect is when you want something. When I asked you to show up for me you were nowhere to be found."
"I'm sorry. Please, I am begging you to do this for me."
"I can't. My presence would ruin whatever it is you are planning."
"What are you saying?"
"I can't help you."
"Is this about the incident?"
"You're kidding, right?!"
He shrugs in his expensive suit, "I thought that we agreed that…"
She shakes her head, "It is pretty easy to get a damn alcoholic to agree to something, isn't it?"
"What are you talking about?"
"In the aftermath of what you are referring to as the incident I panic cleaned countless bottles up before my son got home. It was then I realized I was turning into my mother. I wasn't dealing with things. As my friend I wish you had cared enough to encourage me to tap my breaks. Nearly every single night I was drinking to excess, and racing to the recycling bin every morning before my child found out. I allowed myself to cross a line with a friend that never should have been crossed. Barba, the truth is that once Pandora is unleashed from her box she can't be returned."
"Are you suggesting that you're refusing my offer because you have feelings for me?"
"Have you always been so narcissistic? I am pouring my heart out to you, and you think it's about you. I have feelings about you, but they are anything but romantic."
He leans forward, "Olivia I am sorry for not being the kind of friend that you needed me to be. I guess I have been so caught up in all of my own stuff that I neglected my duties as your friend. Can you forgive me?"
"I already have, but the boundary remains. I can't in good conscience be the one cheering you on from the sidelines anymore."
"Liv…"
"I really think that you should go."
"Please don't shut me out. Let me make it up to you."
"You are not a miracle worker. It cannot be done."
"Please. Let me take you out, and…"
"No. I don't go to any of our old haunts anymore, Barba. My life didn't stop because you ran away from your life here."
"I don't know what to say."
"There is nothing to say. You should go," she motions.
He vacates his seat, and heads to the door. She waves him off, "Go. You don't need my permission to be happy."
