Doctor Turner finds himself being ushered into Sister Monica Joan's quarters after a chaotic day of rounds by a pair of midwives, one of whom is a religious Sister. Sister Monica Joan is perched on a seat in the corner of the room.
"Will someone explain to me why the lot of us are having a clandestine meeting in Sister Monica Joan's room?" He looks to Trixie, and Sister Hilda.
"If anyone asks I am your patient. I have succumbed to a nasty middle ear infection that will most certainly allow me to act more petulant than necessary, and divert attention away from an actual crisis," Sister Monica Joan explains.
He furrows his brow, "Can someone clarify which member of this cast of characters is the patient?"
Sister Hilda reluctantly steps forward.
"Are you seriously ill? Nurse Franklin ambushed me outside the clinic as I was preparing to head home."
"I am in a serious predicament that your stethoscope will quickly explain to you."
"Okay," Patrick nods as he secures his stethoscope within his ears. He lifts the bell of the stethoscope, and shrugs. Trixie impatiently presses the instrument to the affected area.
As he tucks the stethoscope around his neck he rubs his forehead as he attempts to formulate his thoughts.
"To clarify your maelstrom of thoughts this brand of crisis is the type where the unwilling party bears the weight of the burden that cannot be rectified by a legal description of the other party involved to the esteemed guardians of our streets," Sister Monica Joan reveals.
"Nurse Franklin if you will deliver samples to the clinic tomorrow under an assumed name I will ensure that anonymity and discretion are maintained. I will consult directly with Nurse Franklin. Sister Hilda based on my assessment I believe it is prudent that you tell Sister Julienne after I meet with Trixie tomorrow."
"Understood."
The following evening Sister Julienne hesitates in the doorway of the chapel after evening prayers. She watches silently as Sister Hilda lingers. Sister Julienne feels the heaviness even outside the room. Eventually Sister Hilda seemingly abandons her prayer.
"It is my understanding that you had a difficult day. Do you want to come to my office?"
"I do," Sister Hilda nods.
Sister Julienne closes the door, and crosses the room when they reach her office. She offers a reassuring smile as Sister Hilda sits before her.
"I understand that Mary Smith delivered a post-term infant…"
Sister Hilda interrupts, "She was of advanced maternal age. Unfortunately the infant was stillborn."
"I am here if you want to talk about it. I know that this is not your first experience with a stillborn, but in all of my years I find that it never really gets any easier."
"No matter what the circumstances are it does not seem fair for any new life to be delivered into the arms ..." she trails off as the tears she has denied escape her.
"Unfortunately we are not privy to God's plan. The weight of a life unlived always stays with me, I find."
She shakes her head, "Maybe he doesn't have a plan."
"It is understandable to be angry."
"You have no idea," she clenches her jaw.
Sister Julienne responds in the calm reassuring tone that only she can, "No, I don't, but I am here if you want to share."
Sister Hilda's face flushes, and her nostrils flare. She vacates her seat, and rises to her feet.
"The last thing I want to do is share. I don't want to share this with you. I don't want to speak any of it. I don't even want to lend it a single thought. The truth is I don't want to be any part of it, but I haven't a choice."
"I get the sense that I am missing a piece of the puzzle, and a very large one at that."
"Indeed," Sister Hilda nods in the affirmative.
"Help me understand."
Sister Hilda exhales gently takes Sister Julienne's hand. She presses it against the front of her tunic until the gathers of fabric tightly press against her midsection. Sister Julienne's eyes widen as her hand presses against a tight, rounded surface.
"Offering an answer may not illuminate understanding," Sister Hilda replies.
Sister Julienne's eyes widen, "You are correct. I do not understand."
"I did not want any of this. I certainly did not request it. I committed myself to a life of faith. Only to have my faith betray me. My faith in humanity has been decimated. I am struggling to see any purpose in any of this. To be perfectly clear I am not a willing participant in this. Several months ago I went for a walk to clear my head. Today I stand here before you a vessel of human life. Understanding escapes me. Yet today, despite any ill thought I have ever considered I do not wish a life with no beginning on anyone. Including any that dwell within me."
Sister Julienne stands in silence contemplating her next move. Sister Hilda reaches into the pocket of her tunic. She places a folded piece of paper, and pinard horn on the desk before her. Sister Julienne's heart shatters as she reads a police report with writing barely discernable from being smudged, and altered with tears that have fallen upon them. Her eyes shift to the tool at her disposal. For a moment a fine hand tremor is noticeable. The heaviness does not escape the room as a pair of heartbeats flood her ears. She tucks items back into Sister Hilda's pocket.
"Sit, please."
"I hope that you can advise me. I am at a loss."
"Do you wish to return to the Mother House?"
"Most days I just want to disappear into the distance."
"I cannot allow that."
"Permission is an ever decreasing concern in my mind."
Sister Juliette gently squeezes her hand, "I cannot return what has been taken. I can however offer safe passage."
"I don't know what that looks like anymore. I haven't for some months, as you can clearly note from the fundal height you were trying desperately not to palpate."
"No matter how desperately our mind wants to erase facts that we find difficult to accept, we cannot."
"The gymnastics routine within the confines of my uterus make that more apparent every day."
"I would hope that my advice is not the first you have sought out."
"Doctor Turner indicated that I am deficient of iron. Otherwise he assures me that my laboratory specimens are fully within normal limits."
"What were his suggestions?"
"That due to unmodifiable risk factors I should be taken off rotation."
"Then I will see to it."
