I don't own Harry Potter...duh...
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Once Mrs. Weasley had successfully unfrozen Fred, and Fred had congratulated Harry on his success, Harry quietly retreated up to Ron's room. He needed to write a letter to a certain bushy-haired brainiac.
Getting out his wizarding writing supplies then dipping his quill in his inkpot, Harry started to write his letter to Hermione.
Dear Hermione,
I hope you've been having a good time with your parents. I have a bit of news.
I was practicing petrificus totalus on Fred just a few minutes ago, and I did it! Actually, I think I did more than that. I know that the spell knocks the victim off his feet, but my spell practically blasted Fred over as if it were a sort of harmless blasting spell. I was actually scared about what my spell had done. Thankfully, it does seem to have just been a petrifying spell, but it was the most powerful I've ever seen, and I think the most powerful anyone here has seen, too.
The thing is, I've been feeling as if something is holding back my magic. When I try to cast a spell, it's like my power swirls around inside me, trying to find some escape, but only a tiny amount trickles through to my wand. I have no idea what it is (or was). When I cast that petrifying spell at Fred I felt like that something snapped, and all my built up power came out in one massive surge.
After this whole thing happened, I levitated Fred into the house. I know that this in itself is major progress. But what gets me is that I had absolutely no trouble in casting and controlling the spell. It almost felt easier than when I could speak. The one thing I've connected to it is this: that time I didn't feel anything holding me back.
Do you have any ideas on what happened? Is it even possible for something to block magical power?
Harry
Harry waved his parchment in the air to completely dry the ink, then rolled it up and approached Hedwig, who was perched on the top of her cage. She hadn't done any mail delivering this summer because all of Harry's friends had been at the Burrow with him, so this was the first long flight she'd take the entire summer. When she saw him approaching, she shifted her weight from one foot to another in excitement.
Harry attached the letter to her leg, and only then remembered one crucial detail of sending messages by owl.
The owl needed to be told who to deliver to.
Harry's shoulders slumped. He was going to have to find a way to send post without Hedwig. But for now, he'd just have to get someone to tell her to go to Hermione for him.
Harry motioned Hedwig to wait and trudged down the many stairs to the sitting room. Here, Ron, Fred, George, and Ginny were gathered around, finally seriously working on homework. Harry still had to do his, and he was going to try to do it very soon. He hadn't done it before because he hadn't been able to cast the spells.
Everyone heard him coming down, so when Harry reached the bottom of the stairs everyone was watching him. Harry shifted, a little nervously. This was just about the first time he needed to ask help because of his disability. He took a deep breath. They'd understand; these were his closest friends. They wouldn't tease him.
"Can someone help me send a letter?" Harry signed in a rush.
Ron didn't get why Harry was asking help to send a letter; and the twins were a little slow to understand, but they did realize after a couple seconds. Ginny, however, understood instantly, and hopped up from the floor.
"Of course, Harry. Who to?"
"Hermione." Harry signed, turning back to Ginny so she could see his hands as he lead the way upstairs. By now all of them had signs made up to represent themselves, so that they did not have to finger-spell all their names. It was a lot more convenient.
"Why does he need help to send a letter?" Ron asked from downstairs, presumably speaking to the twins.
"Because he can't tell the owl who to deliver to." George replied.
"You bloody idiot." Fred added. Ron's cry of indignation rang through the house.
"Did you tell her about that magic you did earlier?" Ginny asked, and Harry nodded, not really wanting to sign while going up the stairs. He had to walk backwards in order for Ginny to see his signs, so it could actually be dangerous.
That was how sign language worked. The person Harry was trying to communicate had to firstly understand sign language, which wasn't very likely, second, be facing him, and thirdly, had to actually be willing to watch his hands. Harry also had his limitations. Since he had to use his hands, he couldn't be carrying anything, couldn't be flying on a broom, couldn't be climbing, couldn't be doing anything while signing. It just wasn't possible.
When they reached Ron and Harry's room, Harry turned back around to face Ginny.
"Thanks. I really didn't want to have to explain this."
"No problem, Harry, I understand." Ginny said, giving Harry a sympathetic smile.
"I really appreciate it, Ginny. Could you just tell Hedwig to go to Hermione? She's dying to get out, and I've already attached the letter."
"Hedwig, you have to take Harry's letter to Hermione." Ginny told the snowy owl. Hedwig looked at Harry with wide eyes. Why was her wizard not telling her who to deliver to?
"Ginny, tell her that I'm…I'm not going to be able to tell her where to go anymore. She can listen to you. You…can tell her a sort of story of what happened, if you want...I think she would understand."
Ginny smiled sadly at Harry, and turned back to Hedwig.
"Hedwig, Harry just told me what to tell you. He's not going to be able to tell you who to go to anymore. You've noticed he''s been quiet, haven't you?" Ginny smiled at the bird, even while she wiped a tear from her eye.
"Well, he told me that I should tell you who to deliver to now, since you don't understand his new language. Alright? Now, that letter needs to go to Hermione, okay?" Hedwig blinked slowly at Ginny, then Harry. Harry thought that the owl's eyes widened a little, and then Hedwig swooped over and perched on his shoulder. She nipped at his ear and uttered a soft hoot, and then spread her wings and flew out of the window.
"They really do understand, don't they?" Ginny asked, as she gazed out of the window Hedwig had gone through. Harry came up beside her and nodded.
"She's always seemed to understand what I said…" Harry didn't finish, just staring out the window with Ginny, who had been watching his hands. She wrapped her arm around his waist and squeezed him.
"Don't get depressed, Harry. She had to have learned English somehow. Maybe we can ask the owner of the Magical Menagerie whether she could be taught sign language, or at least parts of it so you can still send your letters.""
Harry didn't sign anything in response to that, just stood with her beside him, staring outside. After a minute or two, he broke away and turned to face Ginny with a worried expression.
"Why do you still love me, Ginny?" This question had been nagging him off and on since his birthday. Why did she still love him, when he couldn't whisper in her ear while holding her close, couldn't tell her the things she deserved to hear, couldn't even tell her that he loved her, at least not with the emotion he felt.
Ginny simply looked astounded at his question.
"Why…why wouldn't I?" She stammered out.
"I can't even tell you that I love you! I can't tell…can't tell…you anything…" Finally the months of coping with being silent caught up to him, and he broke down in sobs. He covered his face with his hands as his shoulders heaved. He sobs, as ever, were not heard apart from large gasps of air. Hearing the proof of his mutilation only helped to distress him further, and increase the flow of tears. Why had it happened? It had been a pure accident; Bellatrix hadn't even known he'd been there! Why did that spell hit him, of all the other places it could have gone?
He felt Ginny's arms circle around him, and she pulled him close. He felt her hands rubbing circles on his back, and her head resting on his shoulder.
"It's okay, Harry, let it out. It's okay, it's okay." She soothed.
Ginny held him until he calmed down enough to steady his breathing, when he pulled away and wiped his eyes.
"Why Ginny? Why do you still love me, even after seeing everything I can't do now? I don't even sound like a normal person when I laugh, or cry. How can you still love me?"
"Harry, the fact that you can't speak doesn't make you any less you. True, there are things that you can''t do now, or that may seem a little different from other people. But you are still Harry, the Harry I love. Can't you see that? Would my love, even in sixth year before all this happened, have actually truly been love if I abandoned you when you need me most? Your personality hasn't changed, Harry. You are still the honest, loving, self-depreciating boy I met before my first year. And that is what matters."
"But…don't you want to hear certain things? Don't you want to hear that I love you? And I mean really hear it, not…not see it!"
"Harry, I know that you love me. And no matter what you say, love is proven not through words, but through actions. Someone could say that they loved me, but then they could go and do something to completely contradict that statement. Words aren't what matters.""
"But don't you want someone who can do everything an ordinary wizard can? I'm handicapped!"
"You will function just as normally as any other wizard, Harry. True, there are obstacles you will have to overcome, but that is the thing. You will overcome them. And I'm going to help you."
"But…" Ginny stopped his protest by gently covering his fidgeting hands with hers, just like laying a finger on someone's lips.
"If you still don't believe me, then let me prove it to you through my actions. I'm not going to leave you, Harry, and that is that."" Harry shook off her hands and didn't look at her as he replied.
"You deserve someone better."
"There is no one better, Harry. Not for me."
Harry couldn't respond, he was too full of emotion. Ginny waited for him to collect himself.
Finally, in a halting manner, he signed his reply.
"I love you, Ginny. More than you could know."
She smiled. "And I love you too. Now you just have to believe that."
...
For the rest of the day, Harry put his swirling emotions regarding Ginny out of his mind, in favor of practicing various magical spells, curses, hexes, and jinxes. Consistent with his evolving theory that something had been holding back his magic, he was now just as proficient in magic after just a few tries as he had been before Dumbledore's murder. It seemed like he had to get warmed up to performing a spell before it actually became easy, but it was still a remarkable change from his halting progress of before, and using occlumency techniques greatly increased the power of his spell.
By dinnertime he had enervate, reparo, obliviate, alo homora, and various other spells he had learned over the years back at his disposal.
Even though he was thrilled that magic once again came easily to him, he was worried over his theory. If something had been blocking his magic, had it been there all his life, or had it recently developed? Was it a simple obstacle that most wizards trying to learn silent magic encountered, or was it unique to him? And, had it truly gone? If it returned Harry would once again have to spend weeks mastering a single spell, and he didn't want to go back to that.
He pushed his questions into a dark corner of his mind as he made his way downstairs for dinner.
Everyone was just beginning to go to the table, and Harry joined them in the usual scramble to find a seat. He slid into the space next to Ron, and then Ginny pushed George out of the way in order to take the other space besides Harry. She smiled brightly at him, and he smiled tentatively back.
In a few minutes they all had heaping amounts of food stacked on their plates, and conversations had started between bites. Harry ignored all of it until he heard his name, and he looked up from his food. Everyone was staring at him.
Instead of putting his fork down to sign, he sent a look around the table that clearly asked, what?
"We were wondering if you'd made any more progress in your magic, Harry." Mrs. Weasley informed him gently.
His surprise must have shown on his face.
"Don't look so surprised, Harry!" George scolded.
"We know that every time you vanish up to that room you're practicing magic." Fred added. Seeing that this was not a conversation he could use faces to work his way through, Harry set down his fork with a sigh.
"I'm not quite sure about the details…it's complicated. But I am nearly as proficient in magic as I was before I was muted. It felt like something was holding my magic back, and every time I fired a successful spell it felt like whatever that something was it gave way a little more. Then when I fired that spell today it felt like that something finally just broke, and all my stored up magic flooded out. Whatever that something was, I don't feel it anymore. I'm not having any trouble performing magic, even though it is silent." Considering that a satisfactory explanation, Harry once again picked up his fork and resumed the serious business of eating.
"What was…" Ron began, but, without looking up, Harry finger-spelled with his unoccupied hand, "Eat.""
That put an end to the conversation. Temporarily, at least.
A.N. I did have one reviewer say that he thought Ginny would have more trouble accepting harry as a mute, so I sort of just swapped that around. Frankly, I don't see how someone can truly love someone else if they abandon them when they need them most. So instead, Harry is the one having the doubts, being the overly humble boy I think that he is represented as in canon. So yeah...review, please!
