Bear Facts.


The Longbottoms settled in after I liberated them from St. Mungos. I had no idea how deeply the hospital had been infiltrated, or who I could trust in there. Naturally, I could not keep Frank and Alice at Grimmauld Place, so I acquired a nice little safehouse, which thanks to the tireless work of the house elves I acquired under seven year indentured servant contracts, I made it more comfortable to home.

There had been no more weird outbreaks since Frank and Alice randomly snapped back into Auror mode when I started to pry around in their minds.

"Harry Potter?"

Winky appeared right behind me.

"Yes, Winky," I said

"Ms. Penny Haywood has brought Ms. Chiara Lobosca, as you requested," Winky said. "And Ms. Ariana Dumbledore And Ms. Penerelle Flamel has arrived as well."

"Send them all in," Harry said.

Penny stepped into the room and her eyes widened when she saw the Longbottoms. Another girl, with platinum blonde hair, dressed in a black shirt, and jeans, with a blue necklace stepped into the room. Chiara, I thought, looked at them for a second.

"Don't worry, Harry means them no harm," Ariana said. "The bad people meant them a lot of harm."

"Right," Chiara said. "I'm surprised that Harry Potter wanted to see me."

"Cassie and Merula recommended you to me, when I asked for a healer," I said. "And Penny did as well."

"Yes, I did," Penny said. "But, you seriously abducted the Longbottoms from the Janus Thickey ward at St. Mungos?"

"I rescued them," I reminded them. "And I rarely do anything without a good reason."

"Well, you must have a reason," Chiara said.

"Look at the medical reports. And see if you see anything peculiar."

Chiara and Penny took the medical reports and looked them over. Ariana walked over to the room and looked down at Alice and Frank.

"You will make them pay for this, right?" Ariana asked. "They are trapped as prisoners of their own mind. Occassional sparks of brilliance come out."

"I don't know who signed off on these treatments, but they were all wrong," Chiara said. "Treating Crucitias damage like someone who has been long-term underneath the Imperius Curse. Shock spells. Forgetfulness potions. And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Five days before the treatments began," Penny said.

"Five days after The Lestranges and Crouch Junior were arrested," Harry reminded them.

"And two days later, the trial started, with the evidence that the Longbottoms have been driven insane," Elle said. "And here's Bellatrix Lestrange's medical records."

"She was in St. Mungos briefly," Chiara read. "Given a potion to help reduce hysteria."

"But this particular potion can cause side effects of mania and delusions," Penny said.

"Bellatrix is adamant she didn't torture the Longbottoms into insanity," I said. "And she's normally very open about all of the atrocities she committed in the name of Voldemort."

Penny and Chiara did not blink at the name. I respected them for that.

"She could use a proper check-up as well," Chiara said. "While it might be too late, she was not treated properly for the injuries."

"It says here the patient screams she did not do it, I would never go this far," Elle read. "Before, she was given the potion, and put under a compulsion to control her hysterical behavior."

"Bellatrix committed many crimes," I said. "She'll be the first to admit it. So if she's adamant she didn't torture Frank and Alice into insanity, she's right. The question is, can we do anything with the Longbottoms?"

"We can try," Chiara said. "Ten years worth of damage being undone is a big ask."

"It is," Elle agreed.

I could tell Elle had been going over every possibility in her mind.

"It's going to take me at least a month, maybe more to tangle through this mess," Chiara said. "I'm going to need to counteract every single potion and every single charm that's been wrongly applied to them before I begin."

"I'll help with the potions," Penny said.

"And anything you need to cover the cost of ingredients, I'll pick up."

"You shouldn't have to do that, Harry."

Right on schedule, Neville arrived and steadp into the room behind me.

"My parents, I should help pick up whatever costs to treat them," Neville said.

"How much does your grandmother know about this?" Chiara asked.

"I sent her a letter, advising her the Longbottoms were safe, and also sent her a copy of the medical records, also advising them to keep them to herself," I said. "She didn't send me a howler in response, so I took that as a win."

Neville smiled in spite of the situation.

"Gran's in shock," Neville said. "She believed that my parents were being well cared for. And I swear, these people who did this, they robbed me of a childhood."

"They might have also done something to you," Chiara said. "It's just a theory that I have, but if you saw something that night, when the Lestranges attacked, when the Ministry came, they might have done something to you."

"I don't…I don't think they did," Neville said.

"They would like to cover their tracks," Ariana said softly.

"This is my daughter, Ariana," Elle said. "I'm Perenelle Flamel, a pleasure to meet you, Neville. Your parents are good people."

"I hope they can be again," Neville said.

"Do you have any trouble remembering things?" Chiara asked.

"Yeah, I always am forgetting to do something, but that's normal, isn't it?" Neville asked. "I find it hard to concentrate on instructions and when Professor Snape was teaching Potions, he made me nervous. And so does Professor McGonagall, somewhat, I forget things in her class. I do well enough in Herbology. It's something about the class that makes me relaxed. Makes me feel good."

"Me too," a raspy Alice said.

"Mum?"

Alice lapsed back into her normal state. Neville walked over to her.

"You should stay around, so I can check you out," Chiara said.

"Gran takes me to the family healer once a year," Neville said. "He can find nothing wrong."

"You really should, Neville," I said. "Chiara's the best."

"I'm not," Chiara said. "But, thank you, Harry. Oh, and you should know that I achieved seven Outstanding NEWTs."

Of course you did. What is with me attracting brilliant and beautiful women? Not that's necessarily a bad thing.

"I brought you the gum wrappers," Neville said. "Not sure what you're hoping to find."

"I'll know when I find it," I said.

Neville passed me the bag with all of the gum wrappers.

"That's all of them," Neville said.

"Might be able to decipher this at the end of the summer," I said. "You have a lot of work to do. If you two need anything, use this watch and I'll know."

I handed Chiara and Penny their own signal watches.

"No one should be able to find this place," I told them. "But, anything strange, tell me."

"Of course," Chiara said.

"I'll stick around," Elle said. "Help them out. This is going to be a long process to get their minds untangled."

It can be done. I hoped for Neville's sake.

"Let Winky know when you want to leave," I told Neville.

Neville wanted to stick around for a while. Alice shared her son's love of Herbology. That really spoke to Neville. And his mother speaking to him, even for a brief second, gave him hope.

Something seemed more peculiar about Alice than Frank, although even I could not figure out what.

"He's something, isn't he?" Penny asked as I was out the door.

"Reminds me of Cassie," Chiara said. "With a lot of the same demons and drive to help people past the point of all reason."


"Oh, the great outdoors. You can really feel the smells, the sounds, and the sights of nature out here. Free of all of the distractions that bog us down. Free of all of the conveniences of modern life. No technology and no magic out here to distract us."

Ted Tonks stepped out of the RV and inhaled the air.

"Well, no magic except for your magically enhanced RV, Thad."

And Bellatrix stepped out next to him. Arthur Weasley was there, along with Zari and Tonks. Penelope Clearwater stepped out of the van next, and I joined her. Obviously, I did, because none of you would be hearing about this, if I, Harry Potter was not present.

Let us recap some of the students who joined us on this camping adventure. Sophie Roper, of Ravenclaw, because quite frankly it was her idea. The Weasley twins stepped out of the van. The rest of the girls of the Ravenclaw soon to be second year class, in Tracey, Daphne, Mandy, Morag, Lisa, Andrea, Padma, and Su all joined us. Padma's sister, Parvati stepped out with Lavender and both girls looked out of place in the great outdoors. But, good on them for being such good sports on the trip and actually getting their nails dirty.

People can surprise you sometimes.

Ron arrived next, along with Blaise Zabini, who looked like he regretted some of his life decisions.

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Blaise said.

"Remember how you said you owed me one after I went to that Christmas party with all of the stuffy purebloods?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Blaise said.

"Oh, Zabini, afraid you'd chip a nail?"

Ginny's here as well. Zabini rolled his eyes at his roommate's younger sister.

And last but certainly not least, the one and only Sirius Black stepped out of the van. We had more women than men on this trip.

Story of my life over the past thirty years.

"All of your wands will be safely back at my house," Ted said. "Not that you can perform magic outside of Hogwarts."

"Oh, this is going to be exciting," Arthur said. "I can't believe Molly didn't want to come. By the way, we're going to therapy, don't you know that? We are learning how to compromise, and I am learning how I should not let her roll over me all of the time."

"Yes, Arthur, we're all proud that you've grown your spine," Bellatrix said. "I can't believe you talked me into this."

"Well, Mum wanted you out of the house, because you were driving her nuts," Tonks said.

"So, this is what camping in the Muggle world is like," Andrea said.

"We should find a place to set up our tent," Sophie said. "Or tents rather. Everyone brought their tent, right?"

We all nodded, of course we did. In the spirit of camping, we got our own tents to set up.

"It shouldn't be too hard, should it?" Lavender asked.

"Well, maybe Mr. Tonks or Professor Tarazi can show us how it's done, so we know how to do it," George said. "I mean, they are both Muggleborn, aren't they?"

"Actually, isn't Professor Tarazi…"

"Right, I'm going to show you the proper way to pitch a tent!" Ted called for them.

I could see the grimace of Nymphdora's face. This could go very poorly, if the Christmas light mishaps were anything to speak of.

"You need to make sure you have your instruction manual…"

And a gust of wind blew the instruction manual into parts unknown. That was a promising start.

To be honest, there would no way I was going to miss this. Between Arthur, Sirius, Ted, and Bellatrix, I had a feeling there were going to be some hijinx on this trip.

"Don't worry, Ted, I'll get it!" Arthur yelled.

Arthur chased after the instruction manual.

"Mr. Weasley, watch out!" Sophie yelled.

And now Arthur was tangled up in a bunch of vines.

"Well, that's simple enough," Arthur said. "Damn, these thorns are pretty sharp. But, nothing that can be done."

"Ouch, I wouldn't want to get caught in those," Parvati said.

"What are we going to do without the instruction manual?" Cho asked. "It's pretty windy out here."

Bellatrix and Sirius moved over to help Arthur get untangled from their vines. This was going off of the rails very fast.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I can figure out this without the manual," Ted said. "You just got to eyeball it. Make sure the right pegs go into the right holes."

Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Dad, Dad, I think it's upside down," Ted said.

"I'll show you," Sophie said. "It helps if you have the instruction manual, but these pegs have numbers on it. And they should go in the right order."

Arthur, Bellatrix, and Sirius freed themselves from the vines.

"Did we bring healing potions?" Bellatrix asked.

"Iodine," Zari said.

"Burning, stinging, iodine," I said.

"Sophie did it," Morag said.

"I think I got the gist of it," Lavender said.

Everyone put up their tents. Well mostly. Zari and Sophie all moved around to help out. Oh, and I took pity on Ted and helped correct where the pegs and the poles went. Granted, his tent was partially ripped, but I am pretty sure the forecast was not calling for any rain.

"I think I got it!" George yelled.

His tent collapsed.

"You had it," Fred said. "And now I didn't have it!"

Ron had been the first Weasley to successfully put on a tent. Those who could put up their tent did in fact do so.

"Nice idea, really glad we're here," Daphne said. "To be fair, this is hilarious, a bunch of purebloods trying to go camping the Muggle way."

"Oooh, those are pretty," Lavender said.

"Don't touch them, don't smell them," Sophie said. "They're poisonous. And I wouldn't even think about the purple berries. They are highly toxic."

"The prettier the flower, the more dangerous it could be," Lisa said. "Especially in these parts."

"Does everyone have their tent up?" Zari asked.

Everyone did, by some miracle, erect their tents.

"Time to start a fire, and then we can have lunch," Zari said.

"I'll start the fire," Ted said. "I've done this about a dozen times."

"Oh no," Penny said to me. "He's going to hurt himself…Mr. Tonks, don't worry, I've got it."

Penelope Clearwater, saving the day once again. She demonstrated how it was done by rubbing two sticks together just right to start a fire.

"You want to make sure the water is properly boiled," Zari said. "But, not too hot."

"Any water you collect from the stream has nasty parasites in it," Sophie said. "Don't want to use that for cooking or for drinking until it is properly boiled."

Everyone gathered around the campfire for lunch.

"So, anyone have a scary story?" Su asked. "I heard that Muggles tell scary stories around the campfire."

"Only at night," Tonks said. "You have to have the proper atmosphere."

"I have plenty of scary stories," Bellatrix said. "But, they're not for children."

Blaise started to swat the air.

"Insects," Blaise said. "Lovely."

"Should have brought your bug spray," Daphne said with a smile.

"But, that stuff ruins my hair," Lavender said. "I spent two hours on it this morning."

"Only two hours?" Blaise asked. "Ameteur. I spent six."

"That's a bit overkill," Lavender said. "And oh, why does everything like to bite me?"

"Maybe it's because you're so sweet," Morag said.

"Great," Lavender said. "Irresistible to insects."

Penny smiled and we began to make S'mores around the fire. Some might say it was a little early, but it's never too early to S'mores.

"I want to be in Ravenclaw," Ginny said. "So, I can have these every Friday night."

"Well, I'm sure I can have a talk with the Sorting Hat," I told her. "I'm on good terms with it."

Okay that was a lie. But, I knew how to bully the sorting hat into doing whatever I want.

"We'll be happy to have you, Ginny," Penny said.

Something about the wilderness just relaxed me. I have been dealing with the Longbottoms and everything else lately. After the Horcrux had been purged, everything had been wonderful.

"How's Marietta doing?" I asked Cho.

"Not well," Cho said. "Her mother refuses to budge on sending her to the Ministry school. And my fireplace has been blocked from her house now, because Madam Edgecombe thinks that I'm a bad influence on her."

Oh yes the bitch who was helping Umbridge watch the fire in the old timeline. The NSA would be proud.

"I just wish there was something we could do to help her," Padma said.

"When this school fails, a lot of people are going to look really stupid," Ron said. "Percy's excited about going. I can't believe he would be, but he is."

"Now, Ron, we left it up to each of you," Arthur said. "If Percy thinks the new Ministry school is the best, then he should go."

"Does that school even have a name?" Sirius asked Arthur.

"Good question," Arthur said. "No one seems to know."

We all ate for a little bit longer. And then, we heard something growling in the distance.

"That sounded a bit like a bear," George commented.

Suddenly, a tall hulking figure appears in the distance.

"That's because it is a bear!" Daphne yelled.

"Everyone stay calm," Sophie said. "It's just as scared of us, you are of it."

The bear appeared on the trail and started to sniff around.

"Okay, should be a simple enough spell to drive it off," Sirius said. "Or, it would be if we didn't have our wands."

The bear turned its attention to us and began to growl.

"Everyone calmly, back away slowly," Sophie said. "Keep your eyes on the bear, don't turn your back on it. It will be fine."

"I'll talk to it," Ted said.

"About what?" Bellatrix asked. "Current events?"

The campers retreated a bit back into the woods. Ted Tonks stepped up to bear.

"I'm Ted Tonks," he said. "We mean you no harm. We're not going to hurt you or anything. Leave us alone and we won't bother you."

The bear hoisted Ted off of the ground and hurled him halfway across the trail.

Sirius turned into a dog and jumped on the bear's back. The back batted him off like he was nothing. The bear smashed a paw into the ground and sunk his nails into a metal box.

"Is it over?" Parvati asked.

"It's leaving," I told them.

Everyone watched the bear climb into Ted's magically enhanced RV and speed off down the trail.

"Please tell me a bear didn't just drive off in my Dad's RV," Tonks said.

"Fine, a bear didn't just drive off in your Dad's RV," I said.

Tonks sighed and rolled her eyes.

"What kind of bear can drive an RV?" Zari asked.

"A highly educated one," I said. "It was after something. It was not human flesh either."

"Thankfully," Zari agreed. "Because, I'm responsible for all of these kids."

The RV was out of sight, although it left an exhaust trail I could pick up, if I chose. What was the bear after anyway?


"Oh, we're all okay, and not eaten, because that matters, right?" Andrea asked. "First time I went camping, I almost nearly got eaten by a bear."

"The bear wasn't after you," Daphne said. "It was after something buried in the ground."

"Like what?" Parvati asked.

"I don't know."

Sirius and Ted scrambled back to camp, nothing much injured other than their pride.

"Bears happen," Sophie said. "Normally they're just scavenging for food. If you don't provoke it, it will go away. You have to speak calmly to them though."

"They have bug spray," Blaise said. "Why not bear spray? Because bears are much more dangerous than bugs, aren't they?"

Everyone blinked and was unable to refute Blaise's iron clad logic.

"He's not wrong," Ron said.

I moved over to check with Sirius and Ted, with Zari and Bellatrix behind me.

"I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news," I said.

I heard groans.

"Oh, Harry, now's not the time to make stupid bear puns," Zari said.

"Believe it or not, that one wasn't the intention," I said. "You two okay?"

"I thought I could reason with it," Ted said.

"It did seem a bit smarter than the average bear,' Sirius said. "It even stole my picnic basket."

"No, that was me," Bellatrix said.

"What? Why?"

"Because, you hoarded all of the brownies, duh!"

I tore myself away from the back and forth bickering between Sirius and Bellatrix.

"That bear was after something," Tonks said. "And it wasn't lunch."

"Well, he's gone now," Ted said.

"And he stole your RV."

"Damn!" Ted shouted. "I had two more payments on that thing. And it's not insured for bears. Andromeda warned me to get bear insurance, but I didn't. And now a bear has driven off in my RV."

"Bears don't generally drive RVs," Zari said.

"This one did," I said. "And he pulled a metal box out of the ground."

I looked in the area of wear the bear was digging, but I found nothing.

"I'm calling a bunch of house elves to bring the campers home," I said.

"But, what about my RV?" Ted asked.

"We'll get it back, Dad," Tonks said.

"From a bear?" Ted asked.

"Yes, from a bear."

"I take the camping trip's over," Penny said.

"Unfortunately," I said. "There's something wrong about this bear."

"Did you notice that before or after it drove off in that RV?" Penny asked.

"I noticed it when it dug the box into the ground," I said. "Help Zari make sure everyone's accounted for. And I'll arranege for them to go home. And Nym and I are going after that bear."

"We are?" Tonks asked.


Every time I wanted a nice leisurely day out, with friends, something had to ruin it. Damn bears. Tonks, her father, and I moved onto the trail. Penny and Zari returned to join us.

"Everyone is back home," Zari said. "At least I have my first lesson for next year. How to handle unexpected bear attacks."

"A practical skill," I said.

"I really hope that bear didn't damage the paint job," Ted said.

"Let's hope not," Penny said.

"You could have gone home," I told her

"I could have," Penny agreed. "But, you're still a student, and you're still my responsibility. So, I have to tag along. This time, I've got my wand."

"Good," I told her. "Stay focused."

"Buzzing," Zari murmured.

I heard it as well. Great, that's wonderful. If bears were not bad enough, it would have to be bees.

Bees, my God.

A swarm of bees appeared at the camp and circled around us. They moved in and created a giant hammer.

"Everyone scatter!" I yelled.

The hammer smashed down onto the ground. The bees circled us around. I blocked their stinging attacks. They came back, buzzing loudly.

Zari used a gust of wind to disrupt the flight patterns of the bees. The bees all flew back and then returned. More came out of the hive and attacked us.

"Take out the hive!" I yelled at Zari.

Zari blasted the wind at the hive and I amplified the blast. The bees followed the progression of the hive and just as I thought, it burst open to reveal a transmitter.

"Someone is controlling the bees!"

"Ooops!"

Tonks accidentally on purpose stepped on the transmitter and caused it to shatter underneath her foot. The beens zipped in the opposite direction and a loud growl could be heard.

"Yeah, bees, get him!" Ted cheered. "Get that RV stealing bear!"

The bear swiped at the bees, and charged back into the fray. Penny and I teamed up to step the bear off of the ground and cause it to come crashing down.

"Everyone stand back! That bear is mine!"

Bellatrix returned and she had a flame thrower. I wondered how she MacGuievered that thing together that quickly. And with magic.

Wait.

Bellatrix has a flame thrower?

Well, fuck, that can't be good.

"EVERYONE RUN FOR COVER!" I shouted.

Bellatrix sent a huge blast of fire at the bear. Oh, she most certainly incinerated the bear, and also she set the entire forest on the fire.

Smokey the Bear would not approve, Trixie!

Bellatrix frowned sheepishly.

"Got a bit carried away."

"MY RV!"

Ted watched as his precious RV burst into flames. He did not have bear insurance. And he most certainly did not have Bellatrix insurance. The premium on that was way too high.

Zari created a wind funnel which sucked some nearby water from the stream and made it rain all over the fire. Well, the bear was done.

"My RV!" Ted cried. "My RV! I had two more payments! TWO MORE! And my crazy sister-in-law destroyed it."

"Calm down, Travis," Bellatrix said. "We'll salvage it."

I am not sure given the charred cinder of what was once Ted's magically modified RV. Ted collapsed in the dirt.

"Dad?" Tonk asked. "Dad?"

Ted calmly picked up a chainsaw and started to rev it up. Guess it was gasoline powered. He roared and started to chase Bellatrix all through the forest with a revving up chainsaw.

Well, that escalated quickly.

"What was the deal with the bear?" Penny asked. "And the bees."

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!"

Ted continued to chase Bellatrix around with the chainsaw. I was going to let this play out a little bit.

"Dad might end up hurting himself," Tonks said.

Kids, don't go chasing a reformed dark witch through the forest with a chainsaw. Leave that to trained professionals.

Not that Ted Tonks is a trained professional.

"I've found something," I said. "It's the bear's paw."

"It says something," Penny said.

The whirling of the chainsaw kept going on in the background. I made out the words.

"Trademarked Amadeus Crouch," I said.

"Crouch," Penny said. "Like Crouch from the Ministry."

The chainsaw ran out of gas. Thank Morgana for small favors.

"What kind of idiot signs his name on his robot bear?" Zari asked.

"One who wants attention," I said.

The metal box was a mystery. I don't suppose it could be found in the smoldering wreckage of Ted's precious magically modified RV.

"Okay, break it up!" Zari yelled. "I'm going to tell Andromeda what happened."

"Tell her, because it's not my fault that a bear stole my RV," Ted said. "And that she blew it up with a flamethrow it up."

"I didn't blow it up!" Bellatrix sniped back. "Honestly, Tim, I merely incinerated it."

"Zari, please deal with those two," I said.

"You owe me," Zari said.

"I do," I agreed. "Penny…"

"Not a problem," Penny said. "What are you going to do?"

"Stick my nose where it likely doesn't belong," I said.

I really hope France goes better than this alleged camping trip. Although I might have just doomed us all by saying it.


I returned back. I got messages indicating everyone was okay. And most of them were disappointed that athe camping trip had been cut short and wanted to try it again another time.

We shall see about that. Right now, I summoned Winky into the room.

"Harry Potter wishes to see Winky?" she asked.

"Amadeus Crouch," I said. "Who is he,Winky?"

Winky looked serious and sad.

"Amadeus is Master's other son, not Barty, but his other one," Winky said. "But, Master Amadeus died when he was a little boy. And Winky is not sure if he was having any magic."

"Thank you, Winky," I said.

I knew enough to know that I needed to take a trip to Azkaban. And as a guest, not as a prisoner. Although, I have done enough to get me sent to Azkaban.

I wanted to know what the supposed dead squib son of Bartemius Crouch sent a robotic bear and a swarm of bees after me. Or at least someone using his identity


To Be Continued.