Crouch Family Values:
Azkaban, one of the most terrifying places in the Wizarding World, thanks in part to the guardians of the prison, the terrifying Dementors. Very few people could even try to break out of Azkaban. Even fewer people would be foolish enough to break into Azkaban.
Guess who was foolish enough to break into Azkaban. That's right, your humble hero, the one and only Harry Potter, entered the prison. I stepped inside to a place where few would go willingly. The Dementors sensed I did not belong there.
Then the Dementors sensed they really did not want me here.
And then the Dementors sensed they should be somewhere else, other than I was. They scattered like ants in the other direction. My lips curled up into a half of a smile when I walked into the prison.
Several of the high-security prisoners looked to be in misery having recently lost the ability to perform magic thanks to the way Voldemort was defeated. I was now going to deal with one of those marked idiots.
I walked down the hallway, to the cell which contained Bartemius Crouch Senior. He was in Sirius's old cell.
That's about as ironic as rain on your wedding day. Which isn't ironic at all, so never mind.
"Crouch," I said.
"Harry Potter," he breathed. "What the devil are you doing here?"
"Finally decided to lock you up for being a menace to society, Potter?"
Hey, Snape, nice to see you again. Only not really. I ignored the greasy bat and stepped in front of Crouch's cell.
"I'm going to ask you something Crouch and it's in your best interest to tell me the truth."
"If it's about the Longbottoms, I regret sending them on that mission," Crouch breathed. "But, we did get Bellatrix. It's a shame that Fudge had to play politics and it spiraled out of control."
Yes, because if Bellatrix had not been released as part of Azkaban's work release program, Sirius would not be free and Crouch would not be in prison.
"Not about the Longbottoms, although you may have to answer for your role in that yet," I said. "I want to ask about your son."
"He's down the hallway."
Smooth, Senior, but I was not talking about Junior.
"I'm talking about Amadeus Crouch," I told him.
To say Bartemius looked like he had swallowed something nasty would be an understatement to end all understatements.
"I don't know who you're talking about."
"Oh, well, I was camping with some of my friends," I told him. "And we were attacked by a bear. And the bear was a robot, and the name Amadeus Crouch was stamped on its foot."
"He's alive?"
Junior spoke up and eyed me out of the cell.
"Don't you say anything," Senior told Junior.
"Oh, what? Are you going to send me to Azkaban? Already there. I have nothing to lose. I don't have any magic any longer, so I can tell him what he needs to know."
"Don't…let him…I want to put this behind me," Senior said.
"Amadeus Crouch was the happy family accident," Junior said, more than happy to spill the tea. "My little brother. My dear father claims that he got really sick and died when he was six. But, why go to all the trouble to erase the fact he ever existed? Especially considering I don't think he ever performed magic."
"That's what Winky said," I told him.
"How is Winky?" Junior asked conversationally.
"Much better," I said.
"That's good to hear, I'm glad she didn't just give up after what Father did," Junior said.
"You value that elf more than you value human life," Senior said.
"Which is still more than you value human life, we were all just pawns for your career," Junior sniped back. "And don't call Winky that elf. She was my friend."
Well, that's quite something to hear. I supposed.
"Friend?" Senior asked. "Given what your other friends did, you have poor judgment."
"You only wanted to give me the time of day when you could take credit for my successes!" Junior yelled. "Only when I got all of those OWLs. All of those NEWTs. Only when I could further the career of Bartemius Crouch and show the world that he was all about traditional family values. With his squib son he dumped out into the wilderness and his wife…do you want to even go over what you did to Mother? How you got her sick? Because they wanted to keep you in line."
"You know nothing!" Senior yelled.
I really did not want to play family therapist to the Crouches right now. As entertaining as these two were going back and forth.
"And then, you broke me out of Azkaban out of guilt, and let Mother wither and die here, for the last few months of her life," Junior said. "And kept me underneath the Imperius Curse. That was no life. And I'm glad that the Ministry found me and brought me back, because I can tell you to your face what an irredeemable piece of shit you are!"
"Listen here…."
"NO!" Junior yelled. "It's time for you to listen. I swear, you cared more about yourself and your career than anyone else. The Death Eaters were more family than you were. Bellatrix looked out for me, when you wouldn't."
"Yes, and look where it got you," Senior said.
"I really wish I would have had a chance to kill you before I got to the Longbottoms," Junior said.
I cleared my throat.
"I'm going to have to start charging you two per hour if you keep this up," I said. "I want to know all about Amadeus Crouch."
"You're Harry Potter?" Junior asked.
"No, I'm Grindelwald in disguise," I said, unable to keep being sarcastic.
"Well, whoever you are, Father claimed that Amadeus died of a rare sickness," Junior said. "But he was a squib. And he dumped Amadeus out in the woods. And he never was brought up again. Father spared no expense, working with the goblins and his cloaked friends."
"Cloaked friends?" I asked.
"Not here, Potter," Junior murmured. "If you broke me out of Azkaban, I can tell you more. I met a couple of them."
"Break you out of Azkaban?" I asked.
"You stole the Longbottoms from St. Mungos, didn't you?" Junior asked.
"I'm not saying anything," I said.
"Break me out of Azkaban," Junior said. "And you'll find out all about the Cloaks."
Oh, this is tantalizing. What angle are you working, Junior?
"And I can help you with Amadeus and solve his mystery," Junior said. "He's my brother."
"Don't listen to him," Senior said.
Do I really do something insane like break Bartemius Crouch Junior out of Azkaban and on some whim, think he's leading me to the Cloaks. Granted, I have no reason to distrust he knows something, but the Junior I dealt with was very cunning and deceptive. He managed to capture the most paranoid man on Earth, and hold him captive, while posing for him, for nine months.
On the other hand, he has no magic.
"I can't swear on my magic, not anymore," Junior said. "Please. They will kill both me and my father like they did my mother. And if Amadeus is out there, we need to stop him."
"So, I'm going to break you out."
"Hey, I have information too!" one of the other prisoners yelled.
This may in fact be the most reckless thing I've ever done, if I decide to do it.
"Potter, don't do it," Senior said.
"I'm going to have to have something concrete," I said.
I snapped my fingers and stopped time. Neat trick. Useless in a battle , unfortunately.
"Tell me something," I told him.
"Helena Arnaut," Junior said. "She's the key."
"Is she a Cloak?" I asked her.
"She's not, but they're interested in her work," Junior said. "She must have the serum done by now."
"What serum?"
"I'm not sure, but it's something the Cloaks are interested in," Junior said. "That's what I heard when my father met with them a couple of months before he was exposed."
I snapped time back.
"I'll see what I can do, if it's good," I said. "But in the meantime, I will ask Madam Bones to up your security."
"Thank you," Junior said. "These people are dangerous. My father made a deal with them a long time ago which we all paid for."
"It was necessary, you wouldn't understand," Senior breathed. "We're both going to get killed because of it. Just like your mother."
I decided to move out because I did not want to deal with the Crouch Family therapy session right now. All I knew was Amadeus was dumped in the wild and erased from the magical world Although he survived. Or at least someone took on his identity. Even though it did not make any sense he took on the identity of someone who no longer existed.
Got to get in touch with Madam Bones to up Junior's protection. Getting him out of Azkaban is going to be a big ask though. Exactly how he found out about the Longbottoms is worrying.
I want to keep a close eye on him because Junior's involved in this. I want to know how much he knows.
Here's to hoping that France would end up a lot better than the ill-fated Camping Trip. It was a smaller group this time. I arrived, as did Zari, and Penny, and also Tonks tagged along. And Tulip invited herself along.
"Managing a trip to France with a bunch of older women," Tulip teased me. "You're living the life, aren't you?"
"It's quite an interesting one," I said.
"Tonks told me, you were attacked by a bear," Tulip said. "Wish I was there."
"Not a real bear, but a robotic bear," Zari said.
"And bees," Tonks said.
"Bees," I said. "My God."
I'm sorry, but I could not help myself.
"There's a lot of weird stuff going on lately," Tulip said. "Kind of makes me miss all of the oddness we got into during our Hogwarts days."
"Mmm, that's debatable," Tonks said.
"Penny and Chiara are excited about that super secret project you put them on," Tulip said. "And I heard a rumor that two of our former friends were seen in Godric's Hollow."
"Yeah, I've heard that rumor as well," Tonks said.
Well, Tonks and I were there. Cassie and Merula disappeared into the night. As far as I know, they are out there, still. The timeline changed a lot. Because, this was about the time where Cassie's brother turned himself into the Ministry to clear Cassie's name. But, since I caused a few waves, that never happened.
"I think this will be a better vacation," I told Penny.
"Yeah, and I don't get my OWL results for another two weeks, so plenty of time to relax," Penny said. "And get thrown right into the fire for NEWTs as well."
"Oh, they're not that bad," Tulip remarked. "Okay fine, they're nastily exhausting, hence the name. So apt, and not that someone wanted to just spell NEWTs because of reasons."
We made our way from the hotel on the beach, where the group of lovely ladies I was with changed into Bikinis which flattered their bodies in the most joyous ways.
Ways, which I cannot partake in, due to me being twelve, and the age-gate protections still being on. Yes, I recently had my 12th birthday, so happy birthday to me.
Oh, their bodies looked fantastic. I tried not to oogle them too much, although my heart started beating. Zari flashed me a smile. I moved over under the pretext of helping her get her suntan lotion.
"You're just asking for it," I told her.
"Well, just think, it will only be a couple more years before you can give it to me," Zari said.
Providing of course, nothing happens which causes my maturity to go haywire. Which is possible. Because it's me. The odds of that happening are like the odds of anything else happening to me. Which is pretty damn high. I ran my fingers down Zari's back and rubbed the suntan lotion down.
I'll skip the particulars. I am forty year old. Trapped in the body of a twelve year old. Feeling a bunch of attractive, nubile women, as much as I could. Tonks smiled when I ran my fingers down between her legs.
Well, time to pull back a little bit.
Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts.
Not helping with the moans, Nymphadora. I know you know that I'm a time traveler now, but no need to torment me. I did torment you a little bit with that kiss.
Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts.
Umbridge and Vernon doing the horizontal mambo?
That's a bit too unsexy.
Hagrid cosplaying as Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie?
A little bit better.
Snape in a thong?
Someone's fapping to that. Aren't you? I can hear you.
"I burn easily," Tulip told me with a tiny smile. "So rub it in. Good."
"You're enjoying this a bit too much," Penny murmured to me.
I'm enjoying this as much as I can get away without magic bitchslapping me. I could have sworn I heard Tulip murmuring "he's only twelve, settle down" to herself in a low voice.
Next was Penny, who flashed me a smile when I ran my hands all over her gorgeous frame. Oh, she was quite the stunner and one I was disappointed that I overlooked the first time.
Not making that mistake again.
I made my way off to get some ice cream, when I ran into a vision of perfection. Fleur Delacour stood out on the beach wearing a silvery bikini which adhered to her magnificent and flawless body.
I'm not going to say what I'm thinking.
"Harry," Fleur murmured. "Welcome back."
Fleur jumped me and kissed me passionately. Well, that's a fine way to say hello. She was my first time, for the record. She wanted to personally thank me for saving Gabrielle from the merpeople and also instruct me on a few aspects of my education which Hogwarts neglected.
How far can she get? I ran my hands down her soft skin and felt her up, almost groping her in the process.
And shock.
"Oh, I forgot about that meddlesome thing," Fleur breathed. "Two more years. Poor boy."
"I'll show you how much of a boy I am when it's time," I said. "When did you get sent back?"
"A few days ago," Fleur said. "I thought I was going insane. But, then I realized that something must have happened. That night in the tower."
"It did," I said.
"How many more?" Fleur asked.
"Tonks, Astra, Kara, Daphne, and Zari so far," I said. "And you. Although the returns are staggered. Kara, Astra, and I came straight back. The others, not so much."
"What about Cassandra?" Fleur asked.
"No she doesn't have her memories," I said. "Of her original self or her reincarnation. I did meet her at Godric's Hallow."
"No, Sara yet either?" Fleur asked.
"Given she's about five now, I doubt she would take too kindly to being dumped back into her younger body," I told Fleur. "Zari's kind of a loophole, and Kara thinks Lena might have been sent back as well. And I'm not sure if anyone else was, because my memories of the tower are still foggy."
"Mine too," Fleur said.
Tonks and Zari stepped over and saw Fleur.
"She made it," I told them.
"Welcome back," Zari said.
"Oh, Zari, it's good to see you, as well," Fleur said.
Fleur greeted both Zari and Tonks with a passionate kiss, like she would a lover. And she pulled back.
"I could consult my grandmother's books, to see if there is a way to speed up your age progression," Fleur said.
"Be my guest," I said.
"Of course, we must be careful, because you could be trapped in a cocoon for seven years," Fleur said.
"Yes, that would be my luck," I said.
"What are the odds of that? "Tonks asked.
"Oh, Nymphadora, don't tell him the odds," Zari said.
"How is everything going with you, Fleur?" Tonks asked.
"Well, I'm going to meet with Professor Arnaut, she's very excited, she thinks she's made a breakthrough, and I'm her best student," Fleur said.
"Professor Arnaut?" I asked.
"Helena Arnaut, she's the Potions Mistress at Beauxbatons," Fleur said. "I actually am due to meet with her after lunch."
I did not believe in coincidences. Very peculiar Junior mentioned her.
This hunchback bloke seemed very interested in our conversation suddenly. And walked away when I made eye contact with him. Talk about someone who stuck out on a beach. And he was not even wearing beachwear.
"Fleur, do you mind if Zari and I tag along?" I asked her.
"Not at all," Fleur said. "It would be nice for you to get me up to speed with what you've been doing."
"Great," Zari said. "We'll do lunch and we'll meet her. Should be a nice time."
I filled in the girls about my meeting with Junior. Zari and Tonks both recognized Arnaunt's name.
The hunchbacked man was looking quite conspicuous at the bar, drinking a nice frothy beverage. Fleur, Zari, and I moved off, with Tonks explaining to Tulip and Penny where we went. The three planned to explore the sights.
Fleur, Zari, and I arrived at an outdoor cafe. Right there, Helena Arnaut, a stunningly beautiful, if slightly awkward woman arrived. She had a case in her hand.
"Fleur!" Helena cried out. "And you're Harry Potter!"
I chuckled at her passionate greeting.
"I get that a lot," I said.
"Harry's an old friend of mine," Fleur said. "And this is Zari Tarazi, the Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts."
"Oh, I've heard of the sweeping changes that….I can't believe the Hogwarts founders returned back to life to take control of the school," Helena said. "Well, it's mostly Rowena Ravenclaw, but it's certainly something."
"Yeah, it's something," I agreed. "Professor Arnaut, it's a pleasure to meet you. Fleur speaks highly of you."
"It's of the highest praise to be spoken of highly by her," Helena said. "She's been one of my best students and a joy to have. And I have to say, your mother was one of the best in her day as well. I just wish she had lived long enough. It would have been an honor to meet her."
"Well, I'm sure she would be pleased," I said. "Fleur said you were excited about a project."
"Yes!" Helena cried. "This will change the world."
I heard that one more than enough times to count. Helena moved over to her case and pulled out a crystal vial. It glistened before me.
"This is going to solve the problem of world hunger," she said.
"Do we drink it?" Zari asked.
"No, the serum alone is tasteless and dull," Helena said. "But, it brings so many magnificent things to life. Observe."
Helena dripped a little bit of the serum on a menu and several tasty looking pastries manifested to life. I had been impressed. They looked legit. They smelled legit.
"The proof is in the tasting," Helena said.
Zari, Fleur, and I took the pastries to eat them. And we savored the flavor. They tasted just like they were freshly baked from the oven.
"This will change the world, indeed," Zari said. "But, aren't you worried?"
"Worried?" Helena asked.
"This serum can create food out of thin-air," Zari explained. "All you need is a picture of it, right?"
"Yes, although I hope that a mere written description of food will do," Helena said. "That's my next field test, when I fine-tune the serum next week."
"But, can it bring things other than food to life?" I asked.
"I haven't tested it yet," Helena admitted.
My eyes followed the progress of the same hunchbacked man we saw at the beach.
"Excuse me, I've seemed to have misplaced my wallet," he said. "Have any of you seen a wallet?"
"No, we haven't," Zari said.
"May I at least have this pastry?" the hunchbacked man asked.
"Sure, it will go to waste otherwise," Helena said.
"Professor Arnaut?" the hunchbacked man asked. "Your work is remarkable. I'm honored to meet you."
"And who are you?" I asked.
"My name is Bob Smith," the hunchback said.
A nice, mundane name, nothing out of the ordinary.
Naturally, I'm suspicious.
"And I have to say, Helena Arnaut's work is one which people would be dying to see live up to its full potential," the hunchback said. "And you are Harry Potter?"
"Yes, I am," I said. "Sorry, I'm not doing autographs today."
"It's quite alright, I just wanted to thank you for your defeat of the Dark Lord Voldemort," the hunchback said. "You see, he would have terrorized people like me and my boss. My boss is very interested in your serum. And he would like to meet you."
"Meet me?" Helena asked.
"Yes, meet you," the hunchback said.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but the serum is not at a stage where I feel comfortable demonstrating it to a potential client," Helena said.
"Oh, well, that's a pity," the hunchback said. "Thank you for the pastry. And it was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter."
The hunchback walked off and Fleur and Zari both frowned.
"I don't like it," Zari said. "He's up to something."
"A bit," Fleur said
"You're just saying that because he's not conventionally beautiful," I said. "But, you're right, I think he's up to something."
I turned to Helena.
"The serum's all still there?" I asked her.
Helena checked her bag.
"Yes," Helena said. "I'm sure he's just interested. A lot of people are."
"Maybe," I said.
"I'll be in Diagon Alley for a special banquet for the Potioneers of Europe," Helena said. "I might have the serum perfected completely by then."
"When is it?" I asked.
"August 25th," Helena said.
"I'll meet up with you then," I said.
"It's very sweet of you to be concerned, but I'm sure nothing is going to happen to me," Helena said. "Although, if you really want to go there, I can send you an invite. I hear you're one of the top Potions students at Hogwarts."
"I am," I agreed.
This Potioneers event would be the perfect time for someone to get their hands on Helena's serum. And I want to take a closer look at this Bob Smith.
If that is his real name.
"Well, you're on vacation," Fleur said. "The other girls must be wondering where you are."
"Yes," I said. "It was a pleasure to meet you Professor Arnaut. And make sure to keep your serum safe."
"I have it in a secretly locked vault in my office, and only I know the password," Helena said. "And you stay safe as well."
She was working on a serum. The Cloaks might be after it. Bob Smith, the hunchback, seemed rather shifty and could be a key. If that was his real name.
Fleur, Zari, and I parted ways with Professor Arnaut to meet back with Tulip, Tonks, and Penelope at the hotel.
"Maybe he's just a well-meaning guy, who is interested in her work," Zari said.
I knew Zari did not believe it, but was playing the devil's advocate anyway.
"Seems dodgy that he was on the beach and just happened to show up here," I said.
"Right," Fleur agreed. "Your instincts are good about this sort of thing. But, what exactly is going on?"
"Long story," I said. "Tell you on the way back."
Giving Fleur the general recap of what happened over the last year since I came back was going to be tricky. But, I would try.
To Be Continued.
