Holly Jolly Folly.


Desperate times called for desperate measures and taking a dip into the Lazarus Pit to repair my fractured due to time travel mind qualified as a desperate measure. Kara, Astra, and Zari all had looks of concern. And even Talia looked a bit skeptical that this was a good idea.

To be fair, I'm not sure. Although given the circumstances, there might be problems.

"Are you certain?"

"Well, I'm going to be erased from reality in another seventy some hours," I said. "No time for critical thinking. Just quick decisive action."

"We will take every precaution to ensure this goes on with the most minimal of difficulties," Ra's said. "The very stability in the world rests upon the Dragon's survival."

"No pressure or anything," Deadpool said.

"Harry?" Kara asked.

"I'll survive."

I will live and breathe. The Lazarus Pit is always a trip to go through. It always takes someone from those who have called upon its majestic gifts over the centuries. I locked into the pod and slowly lowered. This could be my last coherent thought.

Although time runs out soon. The waters of the pit filled the pod.

Everything and nothing at the same time became clear. The pit started to bubble. So dark, so fierce, so much hate. So much destruction all wrapped into one. I wanted to rip them to shreds. Tear them limb from limb. My hand ruthlessly banged against the edge of the pod.

"Bring him up!"

The voice might as well have been a whisper. The dragon wanted to rip and tear apart everyone. My eyes glowed and I rose up from the Lazarus Pit with a primal growl.

"Everyone brace yourself!"

I lashed out and roared, with spit flying everywhere. The League members all withdrew their swords. Pathetic little toys compared to a god such as myself.

"Harry!"

Kara? Oh, there's Kara. And Zari. And Astra. And Penny. And Elle. And that eccentric asshole, Wade Wilson. Don't want to eat that guy. I don't know where he's been and if I did, I probably would not like it.

"Harry, just focus on coming back to us," Kara said in a soothing voice. "There's more on the line than you understand."

I understand. And my dragon form shrunk until I turned into a human. Although there was still a feral growl coming through the back of my throat. Kara and Astra grabbed me and Penny put a hand on my cheek.

"Harry?" Penny asked. "Just take a deep breath."

"He's coming around," Elle said.

"Much sooner than anyone else does with this Pit," Talia said. "Remarkable."

"Yes, I am remarkable," I growled. "They will all pay. All of them. For stealing my happy life. My triumphant ending. My future. I will make sure they don't have one. And the mastermind behind this…they'll pay most of all."

"We have to find the Green Flame Torch first," Zari reminded me.

"Yes," I agreed. "But, I remember it. We stopped them before, trying to wipe out the fixed point at Godric's Hollow. It would have caused a timeline cataclysm. And they went back further, and I stopped them from stopping James Potter from stopping Snape from going after a wild Lupin."

I paused for a second.

"Only, I didn't completely succeed," I said.

"What?" Astra asked.

"Yes," Gideon said. "We all had forgotten due to the mess when we were sent back. But, James Potter died when shielding Snape from Lupin."

"He's dead, but how are you still here?" Astra asked.

"It's quite simple," I said. "I left a time duplicate and implanted James's memories into it, and kept the timeline stable. The only other person who knew was my mother. But, if they took out the time duplicate, the entire timeline collapsed."

"That's insane," Merula said.

"That's the Legends," Zari said. "What's the play?"

"We prevent the Cloaks from trying to wipe out the time stream in the first place," I concluded. "We stop their plan before it starts."

"And what happens?" Penny asked.

"With any luck, our timeline is restored back to factory standards," I said. "Although, with the Green Flame Torch, I could make a few improvements. As this entire situation wasn't all that bad. I got to know a few more wonderful people this time around."

"Harry?" Penny asked.

"Yes?"

"Do what's necessary," Penny said.

"You should," Ra's said.

"Why are you so interested in Harry's success?" Astra asked.

Ra's looked at the entire group.

"The Dragon has many daughters during his travels," Ra's said. "But only two sons. One of them is a ruffian known to some only as Logan."

"I know that guy," Deadpool said.

"And another was a boy who grew up to lead the greatest cabal of assassins the world has ever known," Ra's said. "Rarity which will never happen again. My past hinges on him. As do the pasts of many. The Cloaks serve to destroy the world and remake it from their darkness."

"And that won't happen," I said. "We've got work to go. Especially since I got a vision of where the second part of the Green Flame Torch is."

"Where?" Elle asked.

"We're going to visit an old friend of your husband's," I said.

Elle blinked and sighed.

"I'll contact Nicholas," Elle said. "Cringle will not want to part with what he has, if he understands the power he holds over you. He will want a favor."

"Well,if he causes problems, we'll deck his halls," Astra concluded.

"Talia will join you on this journey," Ra's said.

"If that is alright," Talia said.

The entire group exchanged looks and I nodded.

"Let's go."


"So, everything goes up in smoke, if you don't assemble this Green Flame Torch in sixty-nine hours, and stop the Cloaks from messing with time in the first place," Nicholas said.

"Yes, that exposition covers it," Luna said."But, why am I here?"

"Well, you are a fan favorite," Deadpool said.

"True, but I mean, for the reasons of the plot?" Luna asked.

"We need the innocence and wonder of a child to open the portal," I said. "And since all of us are very jaded, you seem to be the perfect person to open it."

"You will help us, won't you Luna?" Elle asked.

"Well, if I don't, it will be the end of the world as we know it," Luna said. "And I doubt anyone will feel fine."

Luna took a step forward. Elle, Nicholas, and Rowena all stood around here.

"Something about this place gives me the creeps," Cassie said.

"Christmas magic is the rawest magic," Astra said. "Although Cringle's a real piece of work. He only does what he does because Flamel forced him too."

"Oh, he also loves every child knowing his name," Nicholas said. "Luna, dear, we are on the clock."

Luna placed her finger onto the crystal and there was a humming. The gate opened wide. Already, something about this place felt intensely magical. The eeriest rendition of Jingle Bells echoed through my head.

"The Torch is buried underneath the North Pole," I said. "Literally, underneath the North Pole."

I pointed to a large pole which glistened in the wind.

"After you," Merula said.

I stepped forward and heard the eerie Jingle bells going on. Kara, Astra, Elle, Merula, Cassie, and Rowena followed me. Zari and Penny stepped a few feet away from me. Luna and the Flamels brought out the rear alongside Talia and Deadpool.

"Someone's here," I whispered. "I don't like this."

"Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, because I killed them all."

A high pitched cackle echoed through the Christmas realm. And suddenly, a bright light flashed off. Several of Cringle's servants were all staked to the wall, elvish blood dripping from their limp bodies.

Well that won't give any children nightmares.

Although, if any children are reading this, I have this to say. Where the fuck are your parents?

"No," Luna whispered.

"Joy the world, you'll all be dead," the cackling voice said. "That is what I said."

"Where's Cringle," I demanded.

"Oh, that's what I wanted to know, that jolly fat elf fled," the voice said. "I didn't want the appentizers, I wanted the main course. The magic which flows through Cringle will make me invincible, and I will slay the Dragon. Although, time may do that job for me."

"He knows you?" Zari asked.

"Oh, I know you, and you, and you, and, especially you, Nicholas Flamel," the voice cackled. "You will pay for banishing me all of those years ago."

"That doesn't narrow it down," Nicholas said. "I banished a lot of people. Including my wife."

"You banished your wife?" Deadpool asked.

"Oh, yes, and I subsequently was banished to the couch for the next year," Nicholas said. "Do I get another hint?"

A hideous snake faced looking man appeared. He made Voldemort at his snakeist look human. His red slits, white skin, and serpent tongue flickered. Venom splattered to the ground. And the blood on his chin indicated he had feasted on some of those Christmas elves.

Pleasant dreams, boys and girls.

"Kaiser," I remarked.

"Kaiser?" Merula asked

"Kaiser," I repeated. "The supposed final descendant of Herpo the Foul. And the supposed mastermind behind the Cloaks."

"Good old Herpes, infecting people for centuries," Zari said.

"You will pay for your mockery of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-greag-great-great-great-great-great-geat…"

"Could you hurry it up?" I asked. "I only have sixty eight hours, forty nine minutes, and eighteen seconds left before I'm wiped from the timeline."

"Oh, yes, you will go bye-bye, if you don't get the Green Flame Torch," Kaiser said. "But, since you've come all the way here, I could just swallow you whole right now. You and each of your sweet little friends. Starting with that little girl."

Rowena frowned and she joined Elle in shielding Luna.

"I won't let you harm any children, Kaiser," Rowena told him.

"Plus, the fan backlash if anything tries anything with dear Luna would be terrifying," Deadpool said. "You don't want to know what gates of hell you open. People on the Internet are terrifying."

Deadpool turned around towards the fourth wall.

"Tell me I'm wrong, people on the Internet."

"Enough," Kaiser said. "You will pay for Cringle fleeing like a coward."

"He's not here?" Astra asked.

"No, sweet thing, he's not," Kaiser said. "But, I'm not going to pass up a gourmet meal…."

"EAT THIS!"

Kara blasted Kaiser with heat vision and sent him flying backwards. Kaiser rose up to his feet and laughed, before he started to shift into a giant, hideous looking serpent.

"It's feeding time," Kaiser said.

"I'll deal with him!" I yelled. "You find Cringle and the Torch before it's too late."

Kaiser wrapped his snakish body around my body. I broke free and flung him out.

"To me, my pretties!" Kringle yelled. "Grab them all and feed them to me."

A small army of snakes went after us. Kara, Astra, and Zari joined me in deflecting the snakes with their powers.

"Soon, you will pay, Harry Potter. You will…."

Merula impaled Kaiser with a large candy cane and caused his blood to splatter everywhere.

"This guy's on my nerves," Merula said.

"And now there's two of him."

Two snakes moved on either side of me. Both of them were Kasier. Oh, if he wanted to play this game, he was going to pay this game.

"Be careful not to get bitten," Astra said.

"We don't want a repeat of last time," Zari said.

A small piece of crystal broke off of one of the structures in the Christmas realm. I had an idea.

"Follow my lead," I said. "Come on Kaiser. You're supposed to be tbe big bad of the cloaks. I think you're just nothing but a pawn for the rest of them."

"ARGH! Arrogant sorcerer!"

Kaiser fused into one creature and slammed into me and came seconds away from biting into me. At the last second, I jabbed the crystal into his mouth. And then broke out. I attached the broken piece of crystal to the tower.

"Strike the tower with everything you have!" I yelled.

Kaiser tried to pull away. I lit the spark, with Astra, Rowena, Elle, Merula, and Cassie all firing all they could at the tower. Kaiser hissed in anger. The snake like creature crystallized when the power through the tower hissed.

"You won't stop…."

Kara summoned all of her strength and punched Kaiser hard in the face. Kaiser shattered into sparkling dust above our heads.

"Well, there's that," Kara said.

The sinister song continued. The large North Pole burst into flames. The dust particles reconstituted themselves.

"If only," Cassie murmured.

"Again!" I yelled.

We blasted Kaiser again as he tried to pull himself together. He shifted into a three headed snake like man, each of the fangs spitting more venomous fangs the past.

Boom!"

A large staff with a snowglobe in the top of it blasted Kaiser out of nowhere. A large tubby elf with a ragged looking beard filled with cookie crumbs appeared. He walked bow-legged and blasted his enemy with another bombarding attack.

"Merry Christmas, you stinkin' bum," the tubby elf growled with the voice of someone who smoked about twenty packs a day.

"You filthy creature…."

"Yeah shut your mouth, you snake-faced rat bastard."

Another beam of pure raw magic blasted Kaiser. Kaiser hissed in anger, and tried to stab the elf with the crystal. The elf dodged the attack.

"You will pay."

"I'm going to deck your halls, bub."

Did you just seriously quote Paul Wight in Jingle All the Way? Well it's the Big Slow!

And then, a candy cane had been whipped out which a miniature blade popped out of it. It stabbed Kaiser in the throat and caused blood to spurt everywhere. Kaiser gasped in agony when he slumped over.

"Open the door!" the elf barked.

The door had been opened and Kaiser had been shoved into a tower. The unbearable cold overwhelmed him. One more blast caused him to be sealed inside. We all sealed the gateway shut.

"Flamel," the fat elf rasped.

"Cringle," Flamel said.

"And I'm Harry Potter," I said. "Glad to see we all know each other."

"A bunch of these cloaked weirdos swarmed my village, demanding to know something about a torch," Cringle said. "I should have known that you would be smacked down into the middle of this, Nicky."

"Oh, come on, you're still not bitter about the entire losing a bet thing," Nicholas said.

"Oh,no,I'm not bitter," Cringle said. "You see, I'm not bitter at all. In fact, I'm really happy. Happy. See me, this is my jolly face."

He didn't look too jolly.

"Because, all I heard to hear about, is what a bunch of snot-nosed kids want, because their parents are a bunch of dead-beats. I have to be their Daddy, and Mommy is too busy being a ho-ho-ho!"

Cringle cackled.

"Oh, Santa, I want a pony," Cringle said. "Oh, Santa, I want this dolly, which is made of cheap plastic which is just speeding up global warming. Oh, Santa, I want this action figure, which is the same as the action figure I got last year, but it has a different paint job. Oh, Santa, Daddy's in prison. I want him home for Christmas. Well, gee kid, hope your pops doesn't bend over, while your old bat of a mother is being tended to by the milkman."

"Leave Colin Creevey's father out of this," I said.

"Oh, it's the famous Harry Potter," Cringle said. "Kid, sorry you had to put up with that little asswipe Dudley for all of those years. Fat little fuck causes the fault line to break every time he throws a tantrum. And yet, if I don't get him what he wants, I'm the bad guy. Despite Mummy and Daddy catering to his every whim. Well, Mummy and Daddy aren't doing much of anything these days, are they. The goblins are playing with them. Having fun."

"We don't have time for this, Cringle," Nicholas said.

"Give us the second piece of the Green Flame torch," Astra said. "Or else."

"Or else what?" Cringle asked. "Am I going to be condemned to hearing the the whiny wants of a bunch of snot nosed rugrats for the next five hundred years as well? Oh the humanity of it all. If you sent me to Hell, I would be in the lap of luxury, Logue."

I feel like this could be a stupid argument, between two foolish and stubborn old man.

"Cringle," Elle said. "This way."

Elle grabbed the not so jolly, but extremely old, fat elf by the ear and dragged him over. Cringle started to scream in territor.

"Mmm, I think she's getting through to him," Rowena said.

Cringle rushed over and looked absolutely in terror.

"Flamel! Never, ever let your wife talk to me! Ever again!"

"Oh, Cringle, I don't let her do anything, she just does," Nicholas said.

"Those were my good pants," Cringle said.

"Well, you either help us, or I'm throwing you back to Elle personally," I told Cringle.

"Potter, if I could, I would put you on the forever naughty list."

And you would be justified, to be fair.

"Give us the piece of the Green Flame Torch you have," I told him.

"Yes, Cringle, I would do that if I were you," Elle said.

"Unless you had some insidious plan for it yourself," Nicholas said.

"Okay, you got me," Cringle said. "I was going to use the Green Flame Torch to rewrite reality where it would be Christmas every day."

"I thought you hated Christmas," Zari said.

"No, I hate children," Cringle said. "I love the fact that everyone would have no choice to worship me as a God. Because, after all, who else would Christmas be for?"

"Well, there's that Jesus guy that's all the rage for the past two thousand years," I supplied.

"That hippy?" Cringle scoffed. "He needs a hair cut. And a bath. And don't get me started on the daddy issues. And then there's the fact…"

"The piece of Torch, Cringle," Astra said.

"For someone who spent half of her life in Hell, you would think you would have a bit more patience," Cringle said.

"Before Kaiser breaks out and causes more trouble," I reminded him.

"Fine, do you have a hot date or something?" Cringle asked. "Hey, watch the eyes, Kryptonian."

Elle snapped her fingers and Cringle gulped.

"Fine, I hid it underneath my throne."

"And that's all I needed to hear."

Suddenly, a wild Amadeus Crouch appeared in front of us.

"Are you serious?" I asked. "We took care of your dinosaurs, Crouch.

"And Kaiser as well, makes my job so much easier, thank you," Amadeus Crouch said. "You see, Professor Aranut's invention, combined with my own imagination has opened up new possibilities."

"We don't have time for this," I said.

"Oh, Potter, you're going to make time for this."

"Let's take out the squib and get the second piece of the Torch," Merula supplied. "He can't be that hard to take down, after the immortal snake-man."

Amadeus smiled. I don't like it when the bad guys smiled like that. Especially considering the bad guy had some kind of force-field around him preventing stunning spells from going through. I hate it when they prepare for the most obvious solutions too.

"You could, but my little friend wouldn't like that," Amadeus said with a smile.

"Little friend?" I asked.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Suddenly, a large undead gingerbread man giant appeared before us.

"Behold, my newest insidious creation, Gingerdead Man! And you're on his naughty list."

"We don't have time for this," Rowena said.

"Doubt he cares," Cringle commented.

I doubt that as well. Well, giant zombie gingerbread man…actually men.

Scratch that one off of the bucket lists.

The clock is ticking down.

To Be Continued