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After copious amounts of scotch and her sexually drenched encounter with Elliot, it was inevitable she would dream about him tonight.
He had her on the kitchen counter this time. She had been sitting there in a placated fashion, her feet dangling off the counter swaying as she watched him with the makings of a small smile.
Her eyes promising more than Elliot deserved.
His eyes warning her not to tempt him.
She motioned him over with a nod and he tentatively stepped closer - in case she was only teasing.
He finally reached her, his waist bumping her knees apart causing her to move them to make room for him. He was smiling at her, like a kid in a candy shop and she couldn't help but smile back. She let her legs draw him in closer, his hands ceasing her waist to steady himself. His lips dangled before her as if daring her to taste them, she didn't linger. She reached down grasping the tip of his tie and pulled his head forward, sealing his lips with hers.
Her head was fuzzy. It wasn't a throbbing hangover, just a haze she knew would be continually present until she saw the day out.
She could have returned the bottle of scotch rightfully back to the cupboard the moment Elliot had left her apartment but she didn't. Instead she took a leaf out of his book, figuring that if he assumed she had got wasted that night - she might as well reap the benefits.
As she entered the bullpen she noticed Elliot wasn't at his desk and she chewed on her lip.
That dream was practically imprinted in her brain now and she knew seeing him would only encourage a flood of additional details that she'd somehow managed to suppress. She noticed his jacket hung loosely on the back of his chair and his computer was turned on, so he had to be here somewhere. That's when the door to Cragen's office opened and he emerged, wandering over and taking a seat in front of her.
"Morning." She said softly, cautiously, to which she received no response, verbal or otherwise.
He hadn't even looked in her direction. She let the silence play out, half expecting this kind of behaviour but all the while watching him. She took a seat, leaning back in her chair, the squeaking noise filling the silence.
"Morning." He finally mumbled, mostly to get her eyes off him.
She didn't look away.
"Everything ok?" She asked fingering the pen on her desk, flicking it around with her fingers. It almost bordered on humorous. Of course she was well aware things were far from ok but she had to put on a front while they were at work.
His eyes flicked up to hers then and his anger slammed into her at the absurdity of the question. When his eye contact left hers just as quickly Olivia rolled her eyes and picked up her coffee mug, making her way over to the machine. Here she was trying to save face and yet he decided he'd wear his clear detest for her like a badge of honour. She poured herself a generous amount of coffee and ripped open a sugar packet, letting it spill into the brown liquid.
"Olivia." Cragen's voice called out from the door before she could reach for the milk.
She knew that tone, he wanted to speak to her privately she concluded. If it were case related he would have called for them both in a different tone, this tone she knew. Guidance draped in sympathy served with a small side of annoyance. Olivia nodded, no more words were needed, she was already heading towards his office. She detoured quickly to her desk to drop off her coffee, tossing Elliot a suspicious 'what have you done' look. She shut the door and took a seat, because she knew that's what Cragen had intended when he called for her. He cleared his throat and her nerves suddenly appeared.
"I guess I'll start with, how is everything going with the.. situation?" He put forward and she was immediately calmer, perhaps this was just a routine check up but she was confused as to why he would call her in with such urgency.
"It's better, the situation has…" she searched for the right word, "…improved." She settled on the stock standard lie, mostly because she didn't have the energy to fight about this today.
He gave her a skeptical look and she felt like she had just lied to the principal.
"So you don't have a problem working with Elliot?" He asked her again.
Just that I want to fuck him 24/7.
She shifted in her chair, "We still have our problems," she answered truthfully, "but he hasn't been out of line with me, like he previously had been, if that's what you're asking."
Cragen nodded, "Do you still want to work with him?"
A flash of nerves flooded through her then, as if she had the power to effectively split them up for good right now if she said the word.
"Yes I still want to work with him." She said before she had too much time to consider it, because as much as Elliot had been a pain in the ass lately, the thought of not working with him day after day would be far worse.
Cragen had a look in his eye, the same look he had when he was about to deliver devastating news. Her fingers curled over the arm of the chair and she braced herself.
"Elliot has requested a new partner."
The words crashed through her, her head felt fuzzy, at first she thought it was her hangover, but it was the words that had caused her head to spin. She couldn't for the life of her think of anything to say, he had her shell-shocked.
"Ok." She said slowly. It was the only word that came to mind, but it was not ok, it was the opposite of ok.
"Can you shed any light on why he would ask that if everything is fine between the two of you?"
You told your wife you fucked me, so do it.
She swallowed.
"As far as I was aware, there wasn't a problem." She lied once more trying to block out her actions last night, "At least not a problem that required this kind of solution." She twisted again in her seat.
"You know I don't want to break the two of you up, but it seems like I've been given more and more reasons to do so." He looked pissed off.
She closed her eyes for a second and looked away. It seemed he'd already made up his mind.
"However," he began and she allowed herself to feel marginally hopeful, "I did tell you I wanted you to wait it out before you made any rash decisions, so that's what I told Elliot."
Her sigh of relief although internal couldn't help but reach her eyes. She nodded.
"I suggest you two work things out properly this time, I don't want either of you coming to me requesting to be split up unless you want it for good, you got that?" His brown eyes held hers for confirmation.
"Sure Captain." She said getting up before he could change his mind, "Thank you." She added to ensure he knew she was grateful.
As she exited his office she wanted nothing more than to grab Elliot by the arm, pull him out the back and giving him a verbal lashing, but somehow she refrained. She knew Cragen would have a watchful eye on how she was going to react at this point, so she took it steady. Taking her seat across from him and disregarding the situation completely for the time being.
When she returned Elliot's eyes were searing into hers, desperate to know the details of her visit to Cragen's office. She let nothing show, her face was neutral as she lifted the coffee to her lips, squinting at the bitterness she tasted without the milk.
It was mid morning before anything had eventuated and it had turned into a competition of who would break first. Olivia was close, she needed answers and as Elliot had made his way to the bathroom, she knew she could get them. She noticed Cragen had more important things to worry about, talking loudly on the phone, his voice booming out into the office.
She got up and made her way past the lockers towards the bathroom. She waited, feeling somewhat foolish that she was literally cornering him outside the bathroom but he had left her no choice. As he walked out, his eyes narrowed as they settled on her, he was shocked that she had gone to such lengths.
When she saw the fire in his eyes, she changed her tune and settled for a compromise.
"After work, we talk." She said slowly but he ignored her, continuing to walk past her.
She lost it, moving out to grasp his forearm because she wasn't prepared to sit in silence for the rest of the day without at least the slightest of acknowledgment that they would fix this.
"You could have at least given me the decency of a heads up," she whispered so they wouldn't be overheard.
"Right.. like you did," he pointed out.
She stopped short. "That was different Elliot," she tried to defend herself, "you were being unreasonable, unapproachable, you crossed a line-"
"And last night," he spoke in that same cocky tone. "So did you."
He finally slipped his forearm out of her grasp and her eyes trailed away. She knew he had a point and she was unlikely to win this battle.
"What does it matter anyway Olivia," he spoke to the side of her face, "we're stuck with each other anyway, so let's just get back to work."
"Fine," she whispered quietly, sucking in a breath. "Last night, I screwed up,"
"I knew it," he rasped.
Her eyes flicked back to his.
"Knew what?" she pushed.
"You're lucky I left when I did Olivia otherwise you would have woken up with more problems than a hangover."
Her eyes narrowed in on him. "I wasn't drunk," she rasped.
"Bullshit, you had no idea what you were doing," he pushed. "What you were asking," he pressed.
Her eyes moved between his for a few moments before she dropped the heavy weight of the bombshell.
"The scotch dulled my self-control Elliot.. not my feelings," she whispered firmly.
A few moments of silence passed between them. She heard voices coming closer towards the backroom. She watched him, knowing he was now struggling with the ability to respond without being overheard.
"Listen," she stepped a little closer, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid for divulging so much in such a public arena. "After work, we talk ok," she told him quietly, looking every which way but his eyes.
Then it was three heart-thumping moments before he leaned in and said the words that crushed her.
"There's nothing to talk about."
