GWEN 1
Evening sunlight shone hard against the sprawling Tim Hortons menu, blurring the multitude of choices into a single, inconceivable mass. It was golden hour already. Looking away from the menu, Gwen she noticed the sun catch on the grey, fake marble of the ordering counter. Despite herself, Gwen's keen eye for visual design knew it would make an impressive color scheme, and was tempted to snap a photo for later use.
Then she remembered her situation. That was right, there would be no "later use". The thought alone depressed Gwen to no end.
"Uh, creepy lady, are you going to order? Or like, can i go?"
Gwen snapped to attention, finally noticing the greasy cashier in front of her. That's right, she wasn't here to mope and wax poetic about her situation, she was here to forget! She reshifted her view on the menu and focused on the bagel section. Suddenly, only two things looked palpable, and she picked them without regret. "Oh! Yeah! One french toast bagel please, with strawberry cream cheese."
The sweaty teen rang her up, and Gwen reached eagerly for the bagel, expecting soft, sweet, vegetarian goodness. Instead, she got something harder than the faux- marble of the ordering counter.
Perfect.
That's what she got for ordering a fast food bagel at 6pm, but she figured karma would give her some kind of break, especially considering the mess she was in right now. Her final for her art class was due tomorrow. Said final involved some elements she was ready for: the exam overviewing the history of art was in the bag, and the snack to share for the final day of class was ready too.
The semester-long art piece incorporating elements from every unit based on the prompt, "Love"? Yeah, not so much.
It wasn't that she didn't work on it. Actually, when the semester started, she'd put together a canvas and a box clearly on display in her art room. As the units passed on, she'd added in a hodgepodge of scraps, doodles, drawings and written out with the hope that, at some point, she'd have enough clarity to finish the work.
6 months and an over-full box of garbage later, Gwen had decided that hope was for chumps. And this gothy chump had absolutely nothing.
It's not like she wasn't trying, or even that she was bad at coming up with ideas. For every piece she'd done so far, Gwen had gone all out. Whether it was incorporating line into her piece with her pinboard art made entirely from red strings and recycled thumb tags, or her 'still life' replication of a fruit bowl using nothing but ground-together hard candy, Gwen had a streak for creative genius that she really got to show during art class. It paid off too- in a course where most everyone had A's and B's, Gwen had a stone cold 100%. She knew her teacher would expect nothing but the best from her.
So, in the days leading up to its due date, Gwen had thought about it and looked at the love project nonstop. She'd start an idea and realize that it didn't work twice a day. She brainstormed ideas for the past two hours until her head hurt. Nothing she'd come up with fit the theme in her own ironic style. So yeah, Gwen had nothing, and she was preparing to walk into class and own that fact. Owning it involved not caring, so Gwen officially didn't care, and was out getting 6pm bagels instead.
Because, it was whatever, right?
Even if owning it meant getting a zero, and possibly having her college admission revoked, who cared? Who needs college, she could get underpaid for art on fiverr and work at the terrible, terrible petting zoo again! Easy peasy!
…
Gwen placed her head in her hands, ready to succumb to the misery. Her mouth cracked open in preparation to acknowledge her nightmare.
"My life is over!"
A high, whiny voice saying exactly what she felt pulled Gwen's attention away from her own misery. She glanced around the restaurant, attempting to identify the other distraught soul, but saw nothing.
Gwen was almost convinced that she imagined it or said it herself, when she got the bright idea to check the booth behind her.
What she saw, she couldn't believe. The girl sitting there had a head of short, brown hair currently getting cradled by her hands. She was surrounded by a mountain of papers and a slowly dying laptop.
It wasn't just any busy brunette, though. This was one Gwen knew and hated well.
Courtney.
Questions of how she was even here came to mind, but Gwen couldn't worry about that now. She'd unwittingly entered a minefield for awkward social interactions, and Gwen did not want to deal.
The goal now? Escape.
Standing silently, Gwen took a step towards the exit, ready to run, until she remembered the food she'd ordered. The terrible bagel wrapper sat on the table, a potentially loud, crackling beacon of death.
The wrapping needed to go into the recycling bin.
Fine. Fine. Ever so slowly, Gwen inched over to pick it up, begging whoever was listening not to let it crackle. She lifted it towards her, and to her shock, it worked- Gwen managed to get by with total quiet. Heart pounding, her eyes tore across the rooom in a desperate search for the recycling bin.
Her eyes turned and searched, looking towards the door. Then farther… and to her dismay, even farther away. When she finally saw it, she couldn't believe her rotten luck.
It was maybe 300 centimeters away… directly in view of Courtney's table.
She cursed her luck, considering her options. Was pollution really that bad?
Thoughts of hurricanes, oil spills and choking seagulls filled her brain. Damn. It. Gwen took a step away from the table, moving in a wide berth away from Courtney.
Her plan was easy, but dangerous: she'd creep towards the other side of the restaurant and hide behind the booths there, looking for other recycling bins on the way. If she couldn't find it, then she'd have to make the final leg of her journey. Her platform boots wobbled as she attempted to tiptoe, and she forced herself to let them fall on the ground normally, tension increasing with every silent step.
But, she made it. Gwen resisted sighing in relief as she ducked down, desperately searching for another recycling bin. None. NONE. She stood and started the next leg of the journey.
Walking slowly, it took everything in Gwen's power not to look at Courtney, for fear of drawing her attention. As she headed towards her destination, she saw a stray straw wrapper on the floor.
Gwen considered picking it up. It was definitely going to go into the general trash if she didn't, and the thing looked fairly clean.
Images of deer in suburban streets and turtles trapped on beaches plagued her mind, but she had to turn away. Gwen couldn't risk the extra movement out in the open. Apologizing to the planet, Gwen took one last look at the wrapper… and moved on.
As she walked closer, heavy breathing sounded from her costar's direction. Gwen's hands turned clammy with abject horror. If Courtney was crying, it was all over. No amount of goth willpower could allow her to escape the comforting required in that social situation. No, Gwen forced herself to focus on her goal.
She crept forward, one step, then another. Her goal was just two meters away. Then one. The breathing increased behind her, beconing Gwen to look…
But SHE MADE IT.
With a silent cheer, Gwen dropped her wrapper in the bin, and turned on her heel. She turned to leave, Courtney still wrapped up in her own world. Another social interaction escaped, huzzah!
Gwen stepped away, giddily placing her feet on the floor, when something unexpected happened. Her platform boots met the floor… with a loud Crunch. She looked down in vain to see that stupid straw wrapper.
Go figure.
"Gwen?"
And that was it. So much for her escape. Reluctantly, she turned towards the sound of the voice. "Oh. Courtney! Hey."
Gwen cursed all that existed in the universe for her fate. She wasn't actually prepared for the nightmare that was total drama yet, but here it was.
"What are you doing here?"
If that wasn't the question of the year. Of all the odds, why cruel world, why? "Rueing my life choices over stale bagels." She said, trying not to put too much emotion into it, then decided to actually answer her question. "I'm like ten minutes from my house. What are you doing here?"
Courtney very indiscreetly wiped a tear away, then sighed. "Of course you live here, perfect. I'm reviewing a case. Mock trial nationals are in town." Gwen remembered the giant courthouse they had by her home. Unfortunately, this checked out.
Except, wait.
"Don't you do that on a team?" Gwen asked, resigning herself to her fate and walking over. "Why are you here alone?"
She put a hand up to her temple, fist crumbling some other, poor paper beyond recognition. This must've been a sore spot.
"Because my team is full of idiots! I mean, what kind of neanderthal catches pneumonia directly before the biggest event of the year! Like, could our key witness have planned a worse time to play possum?"
Gwen almost said something, but Courtney kept going.
She put her papers down hard. "And now everyone on my useless team is acting like babies, saying that it isn't his fault or whatever quitter nonsense they're letting themselves believe. Anyway, if I didn't get away from them I'd totally lose it."
Gwen snorted. "Right, then you'd lose it. But you're doing just fine now!" She couldn't help it. Blaming someone for failing to plan around a horrible illness was so… Courtney.
Courtney didn't see the humor in it. "Maybe you can make fun when you have an entire extra affidavit to memorize!" She said, coarsely.
Gwen didn't appreciate that at all. Courtney talked like Gwen didn't have her own problems. How self-centered could you get? "Shows what you know. I'm just as screwed, with the giant zero I'm about to get on my art final."
To her credit, Courtney winced. "Really? But I thought you liked that kind of thing. Aren't you doing art history in college?"
Oh wow. She remembered. Maybe that wasn't hard for the type-A list-obsessed, but still. Unfortunately, remembering something like that would have meant a lot more if it wasn't the very thing Gwen was trying to avoid.
"Yeah. I don't want to think about it." Gwen admitted, a cloud of gloom floating above her. She let her arms fall on the table with anguish.
Courtney frowned. "Seriously? You have time. Why don't you just study?"
Could anyone be more condescending? "Gee I don't know, Courtney. Maybe because it's art and it's something you can't study for! Why don't you just study?"
Her expression went from displeased to annoyed. "Well, obviously I'm trying! Until a certain weirdo interrupted my progress, I was doing fine!"
Okay, that was her sign to go. It was the perfect exit from this terrible conversation, which she hadn't gone into expecting it to be pleasant. And yet, after the name-calling began, some part of Gwen still couldn't resist getting one last dig in. "Oh Yeah? If sitting there saying your life is over is fine, I'd love to see what you call a bad day!"
She scrambled for a comeback. "You saw that? Ugh, as If… I mean, well, obviously, I'm doing…" her voice trailed off, before it ended in a sigh. "Terrible. I've been staring at this stupid page for hours."
That actually picked Gwen's interest. "No way, it can't be that hard."
Courtney hesitated, but handed it over. The six-page document was awash with highlighter. A disturbing vortex of fluorescent orange, pink, and a nauseating sea of yellow covered the print. Gwen squinted from the glare, but it wasn't anywhere near as dense as she expected. Actually, taking it line by line, it didn't seem that bad at all. Just like a really, really long story. The parts she could make out seemed pleasantly macabre, but that wasn't much.
"Dude, the highlights are giving me some serious glare. How am I supposed to read any of this?"
Courtney rolled her eyes, long and dramatic. "It's clearly color-coded. Pink for the points my team is bringing up in direct, blue for the predictions that the other side will mention in cross, green for minor inconsistencies with other stories that we might use, orange for notes and subject characterization moments, and the yellow gets added in every time I miss a word. Duh."
And that's why the page looked like they'd filled nukes with highlighter ink and let it rip. "This is illegible."
"I know, right? See-"
"Because of your highlights. Do you have a non-blinding version?"
She reached towards a suspiciously similar stack of paper, but paused. "Not to use now! To follow my memorization system, I only mark up my new sheet once I've gotten through the highlighted one completely memorized, twice. Until then, I keep highlighting everything I get wrong in yellow. No exceptions!"
Gwen glanced back up at her, unimpressed. "Uh huh. And how long does it take you to memorize things?"
Courtney folded her arms. "Two to three weeks. Slow and steady wins everything!" She faltered. "But I don't have that time, so I'm doing it all at once. If you're done, you can give it back."
And now, her problem was obvious. Maybe Gwen should have left it alone. Courtney did just insult her, and she was obviously busy, even if she was getting nowhere. It might've been smart to ignore this altogether.
But then she'd have to go back to… what, thinking about the future and eating stone-aged bagels? No way. It was time to help. "No thanks." Gwen said, simply.
Brown eyes twisted with mistrust and aggression. "What do you mean no, it's mine! Give it-" She made a swipe for it, but Gwen held it just out of her hand's reach. She struggled for a minute, then shot Gwen a frosty glare. "Oh, how mature!"
Gwen couldn't help her snort at Courtney's annoyance. "It is, actually. Unlike you, I get your problem. You're freaking out way too much. You need to chill out, and take a break! You'll work better afterwards anyway."
She scowled. "Seriously? I don't have time for a break, what kind of lazy solution is that? Hello, it'll just put me more behind schedule!"
"So what? You're already at 'my life is over' bad, who cares?"
"Me! I cares!" She whined, reaching for it once again. Her determination would be impressive if it wasn't so concerning. Gwen stood, serious, and jogged over to the recycling bin. Courtney stood up too, alarmed, and Gwen waved the papers over the bin. "You wouldn't!"
"Oops, it's slipping-"
"Gwen. Give it back." Her voice turned dangerous. Gwen was prepared to keep threatening her (or just drop it) until she saw the look in her eyes.
Gwen looked back, just as confident as ever. "I will. After you take a break. Seriously, have you eaten or anything?" Courtney's stomach grumbled in response. Question answered. "Look, when it comes to school stuff, I know you're better than this. Your productivity is way down because you're overthinking it. You need to chill out."
Courtney's expression softened and wilted, just a little. "But what if you're wrong, then I lose more time. There's no proof that this'll work!"
"Oh yeah? How many words have you actually read this last hour?" She waited for Courtney to think about it, and before she said it, asked, "now what's your reading speed level? Huh? Are you even working at half your usual?"
She didn't even need to speak for her answer to be clear. Courtney's posture dropped, and she placed a weary hand on her stomach. "I guess ten minutes wouldn't hurt. Can I get that document back now?"
Gwen weighed her options, but shrugged. "Yeah, whatever. So, what are you ordering?"
With that, they walked back over to the ordering counter, and Courtney asked for "one… no, two hashbrowns!" They paid, and found themselves waiting for the order back at the table. Now that Courtney couldn't work and they weren't arguing, an awkward silence fell between them.
Courtney tried to fill it. "So…. What's new with you?"
Oh, no. Gwen had accidentally engineered the perfect situation for something she hated with every bone in her body- small talk. "Oh, just school. And life stuff." Courtney blinked twice, and even Gwen had to wince at herself. She'd given her absolutely nothing. "Uh. What about you?"
"This thing, mostly." The frown lines reemerged on her face. "Maybe I should get back to-"
"COURTNEY? Order for COURTNEY?"
Oh thank heavens. Courtney stood to go get it while Gwen desperately tried to brainstorm things she knew about Courtney.
She was a CIT. She was prissy, she knew how to belay, she was on mock trial, and she was dating Duncan.
Okay, good start, now she had to think of things she knew about Courtney that wouldn't start a fight.
…
…
Okay, maybe Gwen hadn't paid much attention these past two years. But could anyone blame her? Up until now, this girl was just her friend's bossy girlfriend.
Courtney returned, and Gwen tried to say something. "Wow, those actually look good. Is this your usual?"
"Usual?" She repeated, disgusted. "I came here so I could focus on studying, not eating. The 'food' is clearly terrible for you."
Then why are you eating it sat on her tongue, but Courtney's pointed look at Gwen made her stop. She'd actually listened to her.
"Well?" Courtney prompted, looking at Gwen, then the second hashbrown. Oh. She'd actually bought it for her, without asking or anything. It was surprisingly nice, and Gwen didn't know what to do with the random thoughtful gesture.
Luckily for her, Courtney seemed to know exactly what she wanted from Gwen, and seemingly had no qualms about making her. Dutifully grabbing the fast food item, Gwen thanked Courtney for it, who just waved it off. With that, she happily broke it in half and crunched down hard, then watched Courtney do the same. "So?" She gestured to the fried snack.
Courtney chewed it a few times. "Horribly greasy, but not bad…" she took another bite and her eyes fluttered closed with satisfaction. When she opened them again, Gwen was trying not to smirk too obviously. Courtney sighed. "Passable."
That was probably the most Courtney would admit, so Gwen didn't even try to razz her on it. "Duh. This stuff is popular for a reason. I'm surprised you haven't had it."
She shrugged. "Eh. If I wanted food that was really unhealthy but delicious, I'd just go home. Why stop for hash browns when you have dad's cooking? But now I can't really stop by home, so branching out was inevitable. I guess it's a nice opportunity to expand my palate."
"Oh yeah. You're going to get so cultured, exploring the wide, wide world of junk food in college. What's that like, anyway?"
This was something she was genuinely curious about but hadn't thought to ask until now. A few of her co-stars had skipped grades, including the CIT that sat before Gwen. Apparently succeeding on her path to law school and world domination (or, whatever) required finishing college early.
Putting that much effort into school seemed like nonsense to Gwen, but clearly not everyone felt the same. And, even if people who bragged about it were annoying, it was pretty impressive.
Courtney seemed to think before she answered. "Hm. It's… different. I appreciate the excess freedom and control over my schedule."
That seemed nice enough, and yet, Gwen could tell she had more to say. "But?" She prompted, and Courtney sighed.
"But… it's weird being away from home. As much as I like school, I miss being close to the people I care about. "
Oh, wow. Of all the things that came to mind when she thought of Courtney, caring homesick parent's girl wasn't one of them.
But Gwen totally understood, too. "Yeah. I kind of don't want to go far from home. I'd seriously miss my brother."
"I get it. I don't even have siblings, but my parents? It's been hard. And now that I'm older it's weirder being away from Duncan too."
At the mention of his name, Gwen's relaxed posture tensed. Courtney's eyes widened just slightly, like she hadn't meant to bring him up either.
Gwen tried continuing along smoothly. "I bet. Is he planning to move near your school?"
Courtney's gaze turned icy, like Gwen's question confirmed several suspicions. Of course it did. "Wouldn't you like to know."
Oh, wow. Gwen considered changing the subject right there, but she didn't really have a good roster of small talk questions. It sounded like it was time to get snarky, and Gwen felt the wall of comebacks and condescension start to appear in her mind. She was ready to fire back, when Gwen noticed her hands putting her hash brown down.
Gwen glanced at it, then back at Courtney, who sat there clearly looking on-edge.
A look back at the hashbrown, and Gwen forced her posture to drop.
"Look." Gwen said, forcing the words out before she could stop herself. "I'm going to tell you something about me, okay? I need you to listen."
Courtney didn't look fully disarmed, but she seemed willing to listen.
"I've never had a ton of friends my age. Actually, until I met Marilyn, PC and Reaper in high school, I kind of wasn't close to anyone."
Gwen braced for an insult, but Courtney didn't shoot her one, she just listened.
"It probably wouldn't have been hard to pretend to be nicer, or into sappy pop or rom coms or whatever's popular, but I can't stand that. It's just so much easier to be me than pretend, you know?"
She took a deep breath, and surveyed Courtney. She'd actually chilled out and just looked thoughtful now, like she actually believed Gwen. Which was good, because Gwen was getting pretty raw.
Knowing that she was really being heard now, Gwen kept going. "So yeah, I don't meet a ton of people I genuinely connect with over my interests. I meet even fewer that cross over into multiple categories. I mean, until I did this show, the only person I could pull pranks with was my brother, and he doesn't care about dying hair or alternative art or horror, like, at all."
She took a deep breath, thinking about her friendship with Duncan. Even as she broached this difficult subject, she felt a little smile grow on her face.
"But… Duncan is into all of those things. I drop a reference, he gets it. I say something shitty, he punches me, and we laugh. It's nice, and I don't take nice, real relationships for granted."
Gwen was about to keep going, when she noticed, too late, that Courtney was pissed. "So, what? You just don't care what I do, and you're going after him no matter what?" She asked, voice turning shrill. "Because if that's the case, let me tell you, sister, you're in for a world of pain. I will grab you by your witch nails and drag you across the pavement until-"
"No!" A wave of hurt and frustration washed over her Gwen at the threat. Still, she couldn't stop now. "What? No, let me finish!"
Courtney backed down slightly, but still had that expression on her face like she was testing Gwen. Gwen's voice turned harsh. "When I said I don't take relationships for granted, I mean I'm not going to do anything to mess them up! And, newsflash, Duncan is crazy about you! So no, I won't wreck his love life by getting involved."
Courtney's frowning lips relaxed slightly, turning from accusatory to more generally upset. "But, you said yourself that you have so much in common. You can't really expect me to believe that you two wouldn't get together if you kept hanging out, I'm not stupid."
As frustrating as it was, Gwen understood her perspective. She didn't agree, but she understood it. "Give Duncan some credit, Courtney. The guy's with you because he likes you, regardless of whoever else is in his life. As for me, I know Duncan likes you and I value his friendship. So even if I had feelings for Duncan, I'd never try to wreck his love life by getting involved."
At this point, Courtney clearly believed her. Her posture relaxed, then deflated. "What if things change, though? What if Duncan, like… you know. Stops liking me, for a while? Wouldn't anyone jump at the opportunity?"
Gwen sighed. This girl was more in love with Duncan than she'd ever understand. Gwen knew she liked hanging out with Duncan, and she knew he was hot, but so was Reaper. So, honestly, would she really do it if she had the chance?
Probably not.
Courtney's expression was wrought with insecurity, worry and doubt. Looking at it, Gwen could tell that 'probably not' wasn't going to be good enough.
"Courtney." Gwen said, seriously, and she got the girl to meet her eye. She took a deep breath, and did her best to sound firm. "The only thing I'd ever change about my friendship with Duncan is our awkwardness around you. He talks about how happy he is with you, and it's sweet until I remember how much you hate my guts. Which sucks, because I just want to be happy for my friend for having a girlfriend he loves."
That made Courtney really pause. She stared at Gwen, seemingly trying to parse out any lies with her super lawyer senses, or something. It must have worked, because she sighed and seemingly accepted Gwen's words.
"Okay." Courtney agreed, finally. "I believe you. If what you two do really is platonic… I'll try to relax. " With that, she readjusted in her seat, then stole the other half of the hashbrown directly from Gwen's napkin.
Gwen's mouth fell open. "Wh-hey!"
Courtney just sat back in her seat and smiled. "What? I said that I would relax!" With that she crunched on the hashbrown and sighed with delight.
A smile tore at Gwen's face. She was giving Gwen a shot.
"Your 'relaxing' is making me miss my food."
"Technically it's mine!" She sing-songed back.
Ah, Courtney. "Yeah, yeah. I'm getting more."
Courtney stood up, immediately. The hashbrown in her hand disappeared. "Really? Let's do it!" Gwen was surprised to see Courtney wipe her hands off and then pull Gwen to a standing position in one smooth motion. She barely had time to grab her wallet before Courtney had her at the counter, ordering again.
"Hi. Can we get…" more hashbrowns, clearly, but how many? One for her and one for Courtney to steal would probably be enough, but just in case… "three more hashbrowns?" She looked back at Courtney, who didn't have any objections. Gwen turned back to the stand, confident. "Yeah. Three, please."
The kid at the counter shrugged. "Put your card in whenever." Someone came up behind them with a box, and Courtney gleefully took it as Gwen paid.
By the time they walked back to the table, Courtney already had one in her hand. Sitting in her seat, she beamed as she happily chewed on the food. "Mmm. Thanks, Gwen."
Gwen took one too, sighing in content. She noticed her own action, then chuckled to herself in surprise. Since when was any time spent with Courtney pleasant?
Was this what Duncan saw in her?
Gwen considered it, but immediately dismissed the idea, a smirk lighting her face at the ridiculousness of it all. Fighting was like breathing for those two. She couldn't picture the two of them together like this for more than a second before something ruined it.
"What's funny?" Courtney asked, giving Gwen a weird look. "Shouldn't you be more down in the dumps if you're about to get a zero?"
Gwen's mouth curled down into a frown. She hadn't meant to think about that. "I don't see the point in stressing. Nothing I can do about it now. So, why bother?"
Courtney looked confused. "But how is that possible? What kind of assignment can you not study for and know you'll fail before you even get to school?"
Reluctantly, Gwen decided to tell her what the project was all about. "It's supposed to be something we were doing all semester. And the prompt was love."
Courtney blinked. "Really? That doesn't sound so bad. Why didn't you just do it?"
Gwen sighed. "Because I don't have anything to say about love. It's just not a big deal." It was the truth, and what had been stopping her this whole time. She just didn't care about it at all.
She'd spent hours brainstorming, trying to figure out her 'take' on the whole thing. But after experiencing it and breaking up, Gwen didn't have much to say on the matter at all. She didn't despise it or crave it. Love was such a neutral element in her life, it wasn't something she could make art out of at all.
Apparently, Courtney didn't feel the same. "Oh, that's ridiculous. Love drives everything we do. You just need to focus."
Before Gwen could argue, Courtney clasped Gwen's right hand in her own, and made a big gesture of placing her open palm face down on the table, relaxed. It was startling, but eventually, Gwen mimicked her posture.
"Close your eyes." Courtney commanded, and Gwen gave up on trying to forget. "Good. This is a visualization exercise. I use it for my short and long term goals, but it'll probably work for this. If you want, anyway."
Gwen sighed. "Let's just get this over with."
Courtney's voice turned eerily calm. "Okay. The theme of your assignment is love, right? What's good about love? What do you get out of it?"
Gwen considered it. She considered her love for her family. Hanging out and laughing with her brother was always the painting on the walls as a little kid with her dad, giggling about how much trouble they'd get in with mom.
There was the day when Marilyn found Gwen's now-favorite corset at the thrift store, or when Reaper pulled a choker around her neck because they remembered her birthday.
And Trent… he was someone who'd stay up with her for hours to help her, and keep her company. Another scene popped into her mind, with soft notes wafting off his guitar as she sketched. Love.
"What do all of the good things about it have in common?"
Courtney's voice almost took her out of it, but the question made her think. All of the things she loved… dealt with people? And with time. Quality time, encouragement, positive feelings.
"What happens if you don't get it? What happens if you lose love?"
Oh, Gwen already knew. Memories of stabbing walls with paintbrushes and screaming after the funeral ripped through her like a bullet. She could feel the tiny scrapes of woodchips against her fists as she pounded the dock at camp Wawanakwa, enraged over Trent's betrayal. Even on the lighter side, she remembered when PC and Marilyn started going out to dinner without her and Reaper, and the crestfallen feeling she hid under pretending not to care. Loss was something Gwen knew well.
"What causes that? What could get in the way of the thing you want?"
Get in the way? That was easy. Fighting messed things up. Arguing over stupid stuff, being too caught up in your own feelings to talk to each other- when things got complicated, all of the good things about love turned into strife.
"So what is it that you really want? What does it take to get… love?"
Simplicity. Keeping it easy, nothing complicated. That's what she needed.
"What'd you end up with?" Courtney asked, and Gwen's eyes peeled open.
She took a deep breath. "Simple. That's what love should be- that's what I have to say about it! That's what I need to do for my art."
Courtney smiled then, her voice warm and true. "So what are you waiting for?" She looked Gwen in the eyes, her expression encouraging. "You've got this. Go do it."
Gwen felt something pitch in her chest. It was as sudden as it was soft, and she couldn't bear to hold eye contact with the girl much longer. Her gaze defaulted down, only to notice their still-entwined hands.
Courtney's encouragement was… simple.
Gwen knew exactly what she needed to paint.
Sensing her resolve, Courtney let go as soon as Gwen stood. "Thanks." Gwen said, and she meant it. She turned to go, but looked back. "And for the record… you'll do great at your thing too. Get back to memorizing, you'll crush it. Good luck."
Shooting her a half smile, Courtney got right into her affidavit, and Gwen left. Maybe she wouldn't fail after all.
