Yuzu strolled down the street, wishing this would last forever. Reaching the apartment would mean seeing Mei, and she'd have to endure her silent treatment. But she couldn't stop time, and it was Christmas Eve. She had to be with her family today.
It was freezing cold, but the skies were completely clear. Yuzu figured she'd find the day beautiful if she weren't so out of it.
Someone walked up beside Yuzu and strolled alongside her, someone with pink hair. Matsuri. Yuzu had decided that she couldn't blame her for anything. Yuzu didn't want to blame anyone. It was less painful to just accept that she and Mei weren't made for each other.
"How'd you even find me?" Yuzu asked. She never told her that she was visiting Harumin or that she was going back today.
"I need a progress report on Mei! But judging from your unbrushed hair and baggy eyes and 'please kill me' expression, I'm guessing you blew it."
Yuzu sighed. "I'll just accept that you're a spirit who shows up wherever she can cause some chaos. I'm giving up on Mei."
Matsuri halted. Yuzu turned to face her. Matsuri's face froze with shock, and then she scratched her head frantically, appearing to grow irritated. Her whole face clenched, and she looked like she was holding in a scream. Finally, her restraint broke, and she gripped Yuzu's shirt, shaking her back and forth.
"There's no way in hell I'm hearing Yuzu say that she's giving up on someone!" Matsuri said. "We're not losing this! I refuse! I won't let you lose! No one on my team loses! Especially not… you…" She released her grip and slouched in front of Yuzu.
Yuzu awkwardly scratched the side of her neck. She'd never seen Matsuri snap like that. "What's up with you?" Yuzu asked.
"Why did you say you're giving up? 'Cause I'm not letting you."
"Every time I try to get closer with her, I make things worse for her. She's better off without me complicating her already difficult emotions."
Matsuri smiled. Then, she giggled. Then, she burst out laughing.
Yuzu scowled. Did Matsuri really just find delight in her drama?
"Yuzu, you're so stupid," Masturi said, settling down.
"Yeah, I've been hearing that a lot, lately. Especially from myself."
"Well, you should listen to that. Do you even hear what you're saying? Mei's going through a hard time, huh? What do you think you can do to fix that? Are you just gonna leave her alone without anyone to rely on, anyone to comfort her, anyone to make the lonely nights more colorful?" Matsuri wasn't smiling in her mischievous way right now. She looked as serious as stone.
Yuzu looked up at the clear blue sky. "I tried. I tried being there for her to comfort her and make her happy. But every time, I screw something up! I got her late to school! I distracted her, bringing her exam score down! I toyed with her feelings! I don't want to keep hurting her like this!"
"So what if you screw up sometimes! So, you're just gonna give up and abandon her? Is that what you did with me?"
Yuzu looked down at Matsuri and made eye contact with her. For a moment, she relived the memories of when they were kids. They used to be so inseparably close.
Eight Years Ago
Yuzu pouted as she leaned against the balcony railing, looking out at the people on the street.
Mama walked over and knelt beside her. "Alright, Yuzu. Be a good girl and remember everything I told you about how to behave when you're alone. If you burn the place down, I won't be getting you anymore toys."
Yuzu pouted further. "Yeah, yeah," she replied. Why couldn't mama just work at home? Yuzu hated the hours when mama had to go. It was agonizingly boring.
Mama stood up and something caught her eye. A girl approximately the same age as Yuzu was standing beside the neighbor's moving truck, looking up at her. Yuzu smiled wide and waved at the girl. The girl waved back with one flick of her hand.
"Mama?" Yuzu asked. "Is that girl in the family that's moving in next door?"
Mama looked over the balcony. The girl's mother appeared to be getting ready to leave.
"Oh, yes."
"Do all mamas leave their kids alone to go to work?" Yuzu asked. She was growing anxious as the mother put her things in her car, and the girl idly watched her mom.
"I'm sorry, honey," Mama replied. "I wish I could–"
"Can you go ask that girl's mom if she can come and play with me?" Yuzu was practically bouncing, panicked that she'd miss her chance. "Please, please, hurry!"
Mama smiled and even looked relieved. "That's a great idea! I'll ask her right away!"
Yuzu ran past Matsuri who was laying on the couch with a wide grin on her face. Even after a month, Yuzu was still so elated at having Matsuri over every time both their parents were working. It was like having a sister. She reached the kitchen and grabbed her bowl of noodles out the microwave. She brought it to the living room and sat down next to Matsuri. The noodles smelled a little strange.
Matsuri sat up and watched Yuzu with impatient eyes while Yuzu blew on her noodles to cool them down.
"What do you wanna play today?" Yuzu asked.
"Oh, I'm already playing a game."
Yuzu raised an eyebrow at her and then lifted her noodles up and ate some. They tasted a bit odd, but she couldn't tell how. She chewed and swallowed through the off taste and hesitated to eat any more. Her mouth started to burn. She set the bowl down on the table.
"Matsuri!" Yuzu blurted. "Did you–?"
Matsuri burst into laughter and rolled around on the couch as Yuzu ran to the kitchen to pour a glass of milk. The spice kept getting hotter by the second; her face was sweating. With shaking hands, she drank her milk. It barely helped. Why did people even make hot sauce? Just to give tricksters like Matsuri more weapons in their arsenal?
Yuzu sighed. She wasn't even that hungry. She could eat a snack later.
Matsuri was still laughing. "Alright, I've decided the game," Yuzu said. "It's called 'Matsuri better run, 'cause when Yuzu catches her, it won't be pretty!' " Yuzu ran at Matsuri and Matsuri stopped laughing so that she could escape. They both ran around the couch, massive grins on both their faces.
Eventually, when they both got completely exhausted, they just sprawled on the living room rug to catch their breath.
"Hey, Yuzu?" Matsuri asked.
"Yeah?"
"You're a weirdo."
"It takes a weirdo to recognize a weirdo."
"Yeah, we're both a couple of weirdos. Yanno, it's nice, having a sister."
Yuzu smiled. She couldn't agree more. Everything had felt so much more exciting since she met Matsuri.
"How do you never get sick of me?" Matsuri asked.
Yuzu turned to Matsuri. Matsuri was already looking at her. "Why would I?"
"Everyone else does. I think they don't like the games I play with them."
"You mean the pranks you're always pulling."
"Yeah, same thing. Why're you the only one who knows how fun they are?"
"I don't know." Yuzu looked up at the ceiling and wondered. "You do drive me crazy, Matsuri." But that was what was so great. Being with Matsuri was wild and exciting, not a single boring moment. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
Matsuri rolled over to Yuzu and wrapped her arms around Yuzu's arm, burying her face against Yuzu's shoulder. "You're the best sister ever. Thanks for always inviting me here."
"Right back at 'cha!"
Today
"Yuzu!" Matsuri said. Her eyes looked watery. "What I love so much about you is that no matter how difficult it is for you to get along with someone, you never give up on them! I was the most annoying, prank-pulling, mischief-making person in the world, but you liked me anyways! You never stopped inviting me over, up until the day we had to move away! I would have had to spend countless nights alone if it weren't for you being able to enjoy me despite how difficult I was! You made me happy to be who I am when no one else did! So, don't you dare stop being you! Yuzu doesn't give up on people just because it's complicated! Don't give up on Mei!"
Yuzu stared down at Matsuri, completely dumbfounded. It was surprising enough to see her opening up so much, but even more surprising to realize how much she meant to Matsuri. She felt like she'd just been slapped out of being hypnotized. There was no way she would give up on reaching out to Mei.
Yuzu pulled Matsuri into a hug and smiled. Was it really still cold out? She couldn't tell. Her whole body felt warm and relaxed now.
"I'll figure Mei out." Yuzu said. "Somehow. I've got no idea how. But I'll do it."
Yuzu pulled back and held out a fist. Matsuri noticed it gave her a fist-bump.
"We're gonna win," Yuzu said. "But I'm not gonna do it your way. I need to go back to listening to my own heart, okay?"
Matsuri smiled. It wasn't her devilish grin. It was a soft gentle smile. "I guess that's fine," she said. "As long as I get to see your happily ever after. I'll have plenty of chances to get you two to smash after you sort out your silly feelings."
Yuzu sighed and smiled. No matter how serious things got, some things would never change.
Yuzu entered the apartment, kicking her shoes off.
"There's the runaway!" Mama called. "Get your butt over here!
Mama and Mei were both in the kitchen. There were bowls and ingredients out on the counter. Mei was measuring flour, and Mama was whisking something.
Yuzu sauntered up to them, and Mei got extra busy on what she was doing. Reaching back out to Mei was going to be tough, but she was determined. "What're you making?" Yuzu asked the two of them.
"You couldn't tell we were making cake from the frosting I'm whisking?" Mama replied. "Oh, right. I forgot that you can't cook to save your life."
Yuzu smiled awkwardly. She'd been so occupied with worry about Mei that she wasn't paying much attention to her surroundings.
"Yuzu can just wash the dishes," Mei interjected. "I'd rather not risk her 'helping' with the cake."
"That's fair," Yuzu said as she stepped up to the sink, right next to the counter Mei was at. Mei handed her a dirty bowl with used measuring cups without looking at her.
Yuzu got started on washing while Mei stirred the cake mix. Then suddenly, Mama came up between the two of them and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders. "My mother senses are tingling," she said. "Do I detect tension between you girls? Is that why Yuzu hid at her friend's house? But you've been getting along so well lately."
Mei and Yuzu both just stuck to their tasks. They could barely talk to each other. There was no way they could talk to Mama about what was really going on.
Mama let out a dramatic sigh. "Nope! No way I'm having this! We're gonna be upbeat on Christmas Eve. Let's make this interesting. Yuzu, you'll finish they cake while Mei sets up the decorations!"
Yuzu gulped. It was just like her to assign tasks exactly opposite of what made sense just for fun. "What are the decorations you got?" she asked Mama.
"Don't ask me," Mama replied. "You have to report to Mei, Lieutenant of Decorating."
Yuzu chanced a glance at Mei. Mei sighed and set down the bowl of cake mix. "Please don't ruin it," she said. "I'm hungry."
Yuzu grabbed the bowl and started stirring, but her eyes followed Mei as she went up to the bag of decorations. Mama just leaned against the wall and watched the two of them with a smile.
Yuzu idly stirred but kept watching Mei. She set all the contents on the dining room table and inspected everything one-by-one. She looked around the apartment and back at the decorations over and over, her expression getting more irritated by the second. The concept of room décor was completely foreign to her. In the bedroom, all of Mei's things were neatly stored, and she didn't own anything that wasn't practical. Mei picked up a long string with giant letters spelling out 'Merry Christmas' hanging from it and stared at it like it was a pointless waste of money.
"That would be perfect over there," Yuzu said and pointed to the wall right across from the dining room table. It was just enough empty space to fit the hanging letters. It felt so obvious that she was embarrassed about telling Mei.
Mei looked over to the wall and then down at the letters in her hands. "Aren't you supposed to be focusing on the cake?" Mei asked. Yuzu blushed and pulled out a cake pan. She was supposed to be trying to fix things with Mei and then she went and gave Mei orders. She cursed herself for not being able to control her tongue.
Yuzu bit the inside of her cheek as she poured the cake mix into the pan.
"Stop it!" Mei blurted and dropped the hanging letters, running up to Yuzu and gripping the bowl, stopping her from pouring any more into the pan. Yuzu's body blazed with surprise and Mei sighed with relief. "You have to grease the pan first," Mei said. "Or else the cake will stick to the pan, and we won't be able to get it out."
Yuzu's face burned, but she didn't know if it was more from her stupid mistake or Mei being so close. Mei did her best to scoop the bit of cake mix in the pan back into the bowl, and then she grabbed the shortening out of the cupboard, handing it to Yuzu.
Yuzu smiled and started greasing the pan. "Thanks," she said and tried to force a laugh. "That was really silly of me."
Mei looked away, faintly blushing. "I better stay close and make sure you don't screw anything else up."
Great. Knowing Mei was over her shoulder watching her every move wouldn't cause any pressure at all. Yuzu finished greasing the pan and then hesitantly poured the cake mix in. Knowing herself, she probably forgot something else, so she did everything slowly, expecting Mei to stop her at any moment. So far, so good.
"I guess you cooked a lot, growing up," Yuzu said. Mei raised an eyebrow at her, as if now wasn't the time for small talk. She really wanted this cake to turn out good.
"I made all of my own meals for the past five years."
"Did you have a favorite meal?" Yuzu blushed. She was supposed to be focusing on making the cake, but she couldn't help but ask silly questions that she knew Mei wouldn't care about. The oven beeped as it finished pre-heating. Yuzu slid the cake inside.
"I liked making soba when I wanted something nice." Really? That was her indulgence meal? Yet, it did seem very 'Mei' somehow.
"I could try making us soba someday," Yuzu said without thinking. Mei barely even trusted her with making cake.
"Practice it a dozen times before you share it with me," Mei replied. Yuzu looked up her, shocked that she didn't tell her that she'd rather do it herself. Mei was blushing! I seriously don't understand this girl at all!
"Maybe you could teach me. That sounds kinda fun. Doesn't it?" Yuzu's eyes fell on the table of scattered decorations. "Oh, yeah! Come on, I'll help show you how to set these up. I may be hopeless in the kitchen, but I know how to make things look gorgeous!"
Yuzu looked at the decorations and all around the room. She pictured how everything could be placed, as if she was simulating the decorating before she set it up. Mei was watching her with a curious expression. When they made eye contact, Mei looked around the room, clearly pretending to be doing the same as Yuzu.
"Um… we could," Mei started saying. "Do you think it would be nice to tie some balloons to the ends of the chairs?"
Yuzu beamed. "That's a great idea! But let's make sure they go up high enough, so they don't bump into out heads while we're sitting. I'm sure you've got plenty of decoration instincts deep down. You just need more practice!" Yuzu and Mei both picked up some balloons and blew them up.
"And I'm sure you're only a disaster in the kitchen because you let Mother cook everything for you. We should get in a habit of cooking together from now on to fix that."
Yuzu tied the end of a balloon, completely bewildered by what Mei said. Wasn't Mei angry with her? She'd been trying to ignore her as recently as ten minutes ago. What the hell changed?
Yuzu looked up and saw the Mama was still just silently watching them work, a soft smile on her face.
The real question was why there was even tension between them in the first place. Everything felt so simple and relaxed right now. The smell of the cake was starting fill the room. The small talk about cooking and decorating had come so naturally and made the very air in the room feel lighter.
Mei was struggling with tying a knot around the end of the balloon. "Here," Yuzu said. "Let me help you with that." Mei held the balloon while Yuzu tied up the end in just a few swift motions.
"Your hands are so precise," Mei said. "Like when you sewed up Anthoniko. You should teach me how to sew sometime. You know, so that I don't need your help if Kumagorou gets hurt…"
Yuzu blushed. "Yes! Absolutely! I mean if you're gonna teach me how to cook, then I gotta teach you something!" She could have sworn she saw a light smile in the corners of Mei's lips. Yuzu's heart swelled.
Everything made so much sense that she felt like she'd been completely bind up until now. This whole time, she'd been thinking that the way to get closer to Mei was to take things further. She'd kept causing trouble for Mei and herself by pushing too far too quickly, diving to the bottom of the ocean before she'd learned how to tread water. She didn't need to keep making big dramatic advances. They should keep things simple for now. Because this–the little conversations about anything, the fun trivial activities, the contagious smiles all around, bonding them even when they weren't touching–was what made her feel truly close with Mei. This felt right.
Mei tied her balloon to a chair, trying her best to imitate Yuzu's knot technique. Yuzu smiled. Now it made so much sense why Mei had been giving her the cold shoulder and why they so quickly warmed back up to each other. Yuzu had been carelessly pushing and pulling on Mei's feelings. She'd been studying with her and distracting her from it at the same time. It must have been a rampage of mixed signals, and when Mei was already so confused. None of that was going on right now. They were given a chance to just bond over the little things.
"Hey, Mei?" Yuzu said while tying her last balloon to a chair.
"Yes?" Mei replied, looking right at her.
"Do you wanna go out for breakfast with me on Christmas morning?" She didn't need to pull any big moves. She just wanted to go out so they could get to know each other more and have a little fun. That was enough.
"Sure. Um, Yuzu?"
"Huh?"
"Did you set a timer for the cake?"
Yuzu's heart dropped. She dashed over to the oven and snatched the oven mitts. She pulled out the cake and sighed with relief. It looked a little too brown instead of golden, but it wasn't burnt.
Mama walked over and inspected it. "I'll take care of frosting it after it's cooled down," she said. "You did a great job, honey." She gave her a wink, and for a moment Yuzu thought she wasn't talking about the cake. Yuzu lightly shook her head. What else could she have been talking about?
Yuzu skipped down the sidewalk, Mei walking calmly at her side. She suddenly lost her footing, lurching forward and then stabilizing her balance again.
Mei sighed. "You're such a child," she said.
Yuzu pouted. "You didn't even lunge for me! You were just gonna let me fall if I didn't get my balance!"
"If you're stupid enough to skip when it's snowing so heavily, then that's your problem."
Yuzu slowed to a trot and looked up at the heavy snowfall surrounding them, smiling. It was a beautiful twist of fate that the first snowfall would happen on Christmas and that it'd be their first date. Well, she hadn't really established with Mei if that's what this was, but it had to be! Her whole body felt light and electrified with excitement. Mei was wearing a stylish thin jacket and a scarf. Yuzu had opted for a nice big fluffy jacket.
"You're just being mean," Yuzu said, "because you're still angry about how I won the game last night."
After they'd fussed with getting all the decorations set up, the three of them had spent the night eating cake and playing Uno. Yuzu had won, so she'd gotten the rights to the leftover piece of cake. She was planning to share it with Mei later anyways.
"I–" Mei stuttered. "You have to admit that the way I lost was frustrating. All I had to do was place my wild card down and I'd win, but then you skipped me three times in a row. What are the odds?"
Yuzu just giggled at the way Mei spoke of it so seriously. Damn, she got competitive.
"Here we are!" Yuzu said. They'd reached their destination.
Yuzu pulled open the door. "After you!" she said and waved Mei in, Yuzu following after her. "You can go grab a seat. I'll go get us something!"
Mei nodded and went off to take a seat by the window. Yuzu nearly expected Mei to insist on going with her to make sure she didn't get something gross. She could never tell when she'd be condescending or sweet. Maybe that was what made her so exciting and captivating. Yuzu shook her head, catching herself before her head got too in the clouds about that fascinating gorgeous black-haired girl.
A few minutes later, she sat down at the table across from Mei with two crêpes and two cups of hot chocolate. Mei grabbed the cup of hot chocolate the moment Yuzu had set it down.
"Are you cold?" Yuzu yelped. "You should've told me! I'd have given you the big fluffy jacket!"
Mei took a sip of her drink. "I'd rather not be seen in something so ridiculous."
Yuzu smiled. "Hey! It's super cute, not ridiculous! And even if it was, I'd rather look ridiculous and be cozy warm than not."
Mei picked up her crêpe and took a nibble. "I'm not a fan of strawberries," she said.
Yuzu blushed and sat upright. "Oh! Well, would you prefer banana? I got different fillings so that we had some variety and could share if you wanted! Here, try mine!" Yuzu pushed her plate over to Mei, and Mei pushed hers to Yuzu. Mei started eating up the crêpe, clearly satisfied with it. Yuzu glared down at the nibbled part of the strawberry crêpe. Her face started sweating. She picked up the crepe and bit at the end that wasn't nibbled. There's no way I can bite that part! That's like an indirect kiss without Mei's consent!
"Here," Mei said, holding out the banana crêpe to Yuzu. She'd already nibbled across the entire edge. "You haven't tried this one yet." Mei's voice was trying to be casual, but her eyes were pleading for some reason.
Yuzu's heartbeat pounded in her chest, threatening to burst out.
Mei is… are we…? She's feeding me? We're doing cute couple stuff!
Yuzu leaned in and bit a small piece of the crêpe, accepting Mei's indirect kiss offer, and pulled away, blushing wildly. For years, she'd had so many expectations and hopes for how explosively romantic relationships were. Somehow, this was so much simpler and so much better than she'd ever dreamed. Mei managed to keep her expression much calmer than Yuzu, but she was still blushing. Yuzu couldn't help but giggle at how cute Mei looked when she tried hide her embarrassment.
"What's funny?" Mei asked, a hint of self-consciousness in her voice.
"It's nothing. I just really like this. I mean, the date, not the crêpes!"
Mei's blush deepened. "Is that what this is?"
Yuzu somehow felt calmer now that she'd said it. "Maybe. I want it to be. I mean if you want it to be!"
Mei didn't reply. She just took her hot chocolate and drank it slowly.
"I need to apologize," Yuzu said, bowing her head down lightly. "For pushing you too far too fast." Mei watched her curiously. "I wanna take a step back and take things slowly. I think that'll be better for both of us. We've been doing this pretty out of order, and it's been messing things up. A strong bond starts with a simple friendship, doesn't it?"
Mei looked out the window. "So, you want to be friends?"
"No! I wanna be girlfriends!" Yuzu yelped, sitting up straight, slapping her palms on the table. Then, she settled down, feeling stupid for panicking. "I mean, I'd like to go out with you… but we can take it slowly to really get to know each other."
The silence felt like an eternity as they munched on the last bits of their crêpes.
"Okay," Mei said.
Yuzu's heart swelled. "Huh?"
"Okay. We'll try going out. How about we go on a date once a week?"
It was happening. It was really happening! Yuzu stood up, her face beaming, staring out at the beautiful glittering snowfall. "Great! Let's take a long way back. I wanna enjoy the beautiful view of the snow for a bit longer!"
Mei stood up, and Yuzu felt Mei's fingers slipping onto hers, interlocking with them. Yuzu's heart raced from the warmth of Mei's subtle embrace.
They walked slowly on the way home, their interlocked hands like a perfectly warm candle in the surrounding cold.
