Hello I'm sorry that this chapter took so long, but I'll be honest I wasn't sure what to do next. I figured it out though and this chapter sprung to life. I hope you enjoy and if you do please review. Or if you have any ideas please tell me them in your review and I might use them. I own nothing, but please read, review, and enjoy.

Chapter 4

For what seemed like the zillionth time, Jefferson found himself climbing the stairs that led to Rumpelstiltskin's tower. Once again he was holed up there working endlessly on something and it worried the Hatter; his friend was barely living anymore if anything he was going through the motions of life. During the day, he was with the children keeping them happy though that was hard nowadays; they had been silent and in a misery since their mother died. And at night, he stayed in his tower working sometimes for days at a time. That's what caused Jefferson to worry so much for his friend; it just wasn't healthy for him to live like this. Rumpelstiltskin didn't sleep, he barely ate, and he didn't even leave the castle for his deals anymore. Jefferson had lost count of the many times he had climbed these stairs to come convince him to sleep and to eat in the two weeks since Belle's passing. It usually took convincing, but if Rumple was tired enough, or hungry enough he would listen, but more often than naught Jefferson left with the threat of being turned into a snail.

"Go away Hatter," snapped Rumpelstiltskin not looking up from his work as Jefferson stood in the tower doorway and looking at him Jefferson frowned when he saw he was working on the curse.

"Rumple you've been up here long enough. It's time for you to sleep," said Jefferson as he entered the room.

"Go away Hatter, "repeated Rumpelstiltskin still not looking at him as he continued to mold his curse.

"Rumpelstiltskin I am not leaving this time. You haven't slept in three days," snapped Jefferson coming to stand across from the imp at his worktable. At first things remained the same and part of him was waiting for the usual snails threat, but this time he didn't say that. Slowly his quill was lowered and then he just sat there not looking at him as silence filled the room. Rumpelstiltskin signed as he finally looked up at the Hatter. He really didn't want to sleep; he had to work on his curse, it was almost done.

"I am fine Hatter. I will sleep when I'm finished and you and I both know I don't need as much sleep as a normal man so I'll be fine. The curse is almost finished; I can't quit not now. Not when I'm this close to finally being done," exclaimed Rumpelstiltskin looking at the Hatter as he yawned midsentence. After he finished speaking he stretched his weary limps and ran a hand over his tired eyes before beginning to work again.

Jefferson signed too, he had hoped maybe he would give up on his curse now, but he wasn't. Sitting down across from him, Jefferson looked at him until finally he must have felt his eyes on him because he looked up at him.

"Do I have to threaten you with snails to make you leave me alone Hatter?" asked Rumpelstiltskin looking at him beseechingly. Jefferson didn't say anything in response and for once he didn't leave with that threat he only continued to stare at him. He could see him, he could understand him, and he knew all of this was about more than just work. Rumple didn't want to sleep and he knew why; he understood why. He could remember when Grace's mother died, he didn't want to sleep for a long time, and it took him a long time to learn to live again. But that wasn't the question on his mind.

"You're not really going to still let Regina cast your curse, are you? Regina is nuts only god knows what she would do to all of us," whispered Jefferson and he didn't like the look Rumple gave him in response.

"I have to Hatter, she's the only one who can, and why not have the curse cast now I'm so close. I'm so close to finding Bae after centuries it's really going to happen," smiled Rumpelstiltskin and Jefferson smiled too that was the first smile he had seen on his friends face since Belle had died.

"What about you're other children Rumple? What will happen to them when this curse is cast? Regina could hurt them now that Belle won't be here to protect them. You told Belle and me once that when the curse is cast you won't be able to be with your family because they would be in danger. Belle would have protected them, but who will do that now?" exclaimed Jefferson looking into the imps eyes with concern. All was silent between them once more and he knew it wasn't just because of the questions he had asked; it was because of the painful reminder that came with them. The Hatter felt guilty for that painful reminder, but he knew those questions had to be asked especially now that Belle wasn't here to ask them herself. And at the thought of his friend, Jefferson felt the same pain; he missed his friend. He knew the imp missed his wife; he could see it in everything he did now.

"I have considered everything Hatter. What I told you is still the truth it's not safe to be with me in this other land. That is why I've decided to leave them with you; it will be your responsibility to protect them. Other than…Belle you're the only one I trust to protect them," exclaimed Rumpelstiltskin leveling his friend with a stern serious gaze. Rumpelstiltskin knew that if Belle were here this man was the only one she would ever trust with her children. And he found he felt the same; Jefferson had been a good friend to him. He had been here with him and the children since his beloved's death and he was very grateful for that.

"I am honored that you trust me enough to give me this responsibility. I will protect them with my very life," promised Jefferson looking at him and Rumpelstiltskin had no doubt that he was sincere. The two men stared at each other in silence until finally Jefferson extended his hand meaning to seal his promise to his friend as the imp took his hand shaking it.

"I'm not leaving this tower without you. You need to sleep and Belle would skin me alive if I left you this time," whispered Jefferson breaking the silence afterward as he stood giving his friend a pleading look as he spoke.

"Please Rumple you must sleep. Think about what Belle would want. If she were here she would make you sleep," continued Jefferson part of him felt bad for bringing up Belle, but he knew he spoke the truth. Rumpelstiltskin signed again closing his eyes, but opening them just as quickly when he saw her face. His sweet Belle; he missed her so much.

"I don't want to sleep; I don't want to close my eyes. I see her, my Belle eveytime. I miss her, I love her, and I just want the pain of losing her to end. I don't think it will ever end," exclaimed Rumpelstiltskin moving his hand to the golden chain around his neck where her wedding rings lay. They were always with him. Jefferson could remember when he had been in the same pain as he watched the imp move away from his worktable falling onto the couch he kept in the tower. His head fell into his hands and he cried for the millionth time since she had been taken from him. And looking at him, Jefferson knew it would get better, but not for a long time. Jefferson moved to his side and he wrapped an arm around the imp's shoulders patting him tenderly on the back in an attempt to console him. Rumpelstiltskin looked at him in that moment with tears of sorrow covering his face. It had been two weeks since it all happened, since his life, his love was taken from him, and yet it still felt like it was only yesterday.

"Will it ever end Hatter? Will this pain I feel ever end? I miss her more than anything and all I want is to wake up and find it all a dream. And the worst part is I can't think of her without feeling it; without feeling the pain. Hatter will it end? I want to think of her without feeling this pain," explained Rumpelstiltskin continuing to cry as he bared his soul to the Hatter. Leaning back against the couch he looked at him searching for an answer. Jefferson leaned back on the couch with him as he tried to find an answer to his friend's question.

"It gets easier, but it never really goes away. When my wife died, I saw her face in my dreams whenever I closed my eyes I saw her, but it got easier. The key to it all is keeping that love in your heart; keeping the love you shared in your heart. And never forget, always remember, and cherish those moments. It may hurt now, but in time your memories; the moments you two had together it will help you breath on the worst of days. And the children they will make it easier too. For you, they will help you keep Belle's memory alive so you will never forget her. That will make the pain end so that your thoughts of her will bring you joy. So no it won't always be this painful; only now in the beginning. You have to give it time," whispered Jefferson looking into the red of Rumple's eyes. Rumpelstiltskin sat there in silence with his friend and considered everything he had said. He thought he could live with that if things happened the way he said; Jefferson knew what he was feeling so he had to know what he was talking about so it would happen like he said, right? His friend's hand coming to rest on his shoulder brought him from his thoughts.

"Now sleep," said Jefferson giving him a pointed look when he finally looked at him.

"Alright Hatter I'll sleep," signed Rumpelstiltskin standing with the Hatter making the room go dark with a snap of his fingers.

"Thank you Hatter," said Rumpelstiltskin moving down the stairs and then down the hallway watching as Jefferson nodded.

Arriving at the Hatter's room, the two friends parted ways. Rumpelstiltskin moved down the hall to his own chambers, it felt so strange being there without her, and that thought was running through his mind as he entered the room closing the door with an eerily silent click. He stood there staring at the emptiness as a fire roared to life. Finally, he lay in the bed with a sign as he suddenly turned to stare at the spot where she used to sleep by his side.

"I miss you Belle," whispered Rumpelstiltskin as he pulled her pillow into his arms breathing in her scent that still clung to it. As he closed his eyes waiting for sleep to claim him and run him down into the abyss he swore he could feel her there with him, but he didn't dare open his eyes. He knew if he did she wouldn't be there and as sleep finally claimed him her face filled his mind.

10 years earlier- a month after the events in chapter 1.

Rumpelstiltskin was in his tower and for once he could actually call his life happy. In fact he couldn't remember ever being this happy in his time as the Dark One. And it was all because of his beauty, his Belle.

"Belle," thought Rumpelstiltskin stopping his work for just a second to think of her. A month had passed since she had returned to him, a month had passed since they had made love and she had become his, and looking at the B inscribed on his wrist he smiled. He loved her more than he could ever remember loving anyone other than his son. Belle took good care of him and as he thought of his son starting to work again her face still filled his mind. She continued to clean though he told her she didn't need to, and he couldn't help, but think that she took better care of him then his first wife ever had. Then he stopped. Belle wasn't his wife and he had said long ago he would never marry again, but here he was thinking of her as such. As his thoughts ran wild with this revelation a knock sounded at his tower door. The door opened shortly after and there she was the object of his thoughts; his Belle. She looked beautiful standing there in the doorway and it was like she was conjured from his very thoughts. God how he loved her.

"Hello my love. Come here," purred Rumpelstiltskin standing and moving towards her. She moved towards him across the room and as he watched her do so he couldn't help, but think that he was a lucky man to have this woman, this beauty in his life. When she was finally within reach he took hold of her waist pulling her against his chest. Her arms circled around his shoulders and with a gasp he kissed her with an intensity he reserved only for her, his one true love, his Belle. He loved kissing her lips, he loved having her in his arms, and he just loved her more than anything.

She smiled against his lips as she returned the kiss running her fingers through his hair. Without hesitation he sat down on the couch with her pulling her to sit in his lap breaking the kiss for only a second before continuing it with a heat that lit a fire in them both.

"What brings you up here to see me my love," whispered Rumpelstiltskin moving his lips to caress the skin of her neck.

"I came to tell you dinner is ready and I was curious as to what you do when you're up here. I've hardly seen you today," smiled Belle taking his hand as she spoke before gently kissing him. Her words made him pause, he loved this woman; did that mean he should tell her of his curse?

Belle watched him as he was thinking this, she knew whatever he did up here was serious, and though it hurt he didn't trust her enough to tell her she hoped someday he would. She saw he was clearly lost in his thoughts and she knew only one way to bring him back to her. Belle tenderly kissed his lips feeling as he returned it almost immediately bringing him out of his thoughts to her and the here and now. Instinctively he pulled her closer kissing her with a passion he couldn't remember having with his former wife. But nothing about his relationship with this woman was anything like what he had with Milah. Milah and he had never had anything close to what Belle and he had. He loved this woman.

"Rumple it's alright you don't have to tell me anything. I only want you to know that you can; that you can trust me. Never forget that, now please come down to dinner I'm sure you're hungry," smiled Belle gently stroking his cheek as they stared into each other's eyes. She pecked him one final time on the lips before standing in front of him. Rumpelstiltskin stood with her looking at her a minute before letting her lead him from the room. Together they descended down the stairs from his tower going to the great hall where she had dinner waiting. And as they sat down to dinner she could tell from the look on his face that he was thinking hard about something. Silence surrounded them as they ate, but neither of them commented on it especially Belle. She had a feeling he needed to think hard about something and she could only wonder what was so important that it occupied his thoughts so. She didn't know that he was thinking about everything she had said before in the tower. He didn't trust anyone, but he wanted to trust her. She loved him, if anyone deserved his trust it was her, but the thought of trusting anyone was still hard on him. Trusting her would mean telling her everything; it would mean telling her about Bae, about everything he had done, and about the curse. And once he did, she would run screaming from him.

As that thought went through his mind, he looked at her, and he memorized every inch of her. He loved her; he didn't want to lose her. Belle felt his eyes on her and when she turned her head to look at him the look in his eyes alarmed her. They looked so sad. Why would he look at her with such sadness in his eyes?

"Rumple what is wrong. Why do you look at me with such sadness," whispered Belle reached to take his hand squeezing it as she looked at him searching for the source of his distress. He didn't say anything at first, he only continued to look at her with that look in his eyes, but then he motioned her forward signing when she came to sit in his lap taking his face in her hands.

"Rumple please tell me what's wrong. Don't close yourself off to me. Tell me what you're thinking; tell me what you're feeling," exclaimed Belle making him look into her eyes watching as he focused solely on her and her words. Her words only made him love her more and they made up his mind he would tell her everything even of his fears.

"Earlier in the tower you asked what I was working on. You said I could trust you, part of me knows I can, but it's hard for me to trust Belle. I want to trust you, but I haven't trusted anyone since my son. I really want to trust you; I have decided to tell you my story. To trust you with the truth. When I do though I know what will happen; you will leave me forever. You will run screaming from me because you will realize what a monster I truly am. But you deserve the truth so I will tell it to you even if I lose you because of it," whispered Rumpelstiltskin refusing to look at her as he finished speaking. Belle looked at him in silence afterward gently stroking his cheeks with her thumbs as she held his face in her hands again in an attempt to get him to meet her gaze, but he wouldn't. And when he finally did, he didn't expect to see the love she had in her eyes, or the feel of her lips tenderly kissing the skin of his face. Continuing to look at him, she suddenly kissed him feeling as he returned it as if it would be their last, and she knew this was because he thought it would be.

"I love you Rumpelstiltskin. Tell me your story and I promise you I won't run from you. I will stand by your side forever," whispered Belle looking into his amber orbs hoping he saw she meant every word.

"You can't promise that my Belle; you don't know the things I've done. You don't know, but when you do you will finally see the monster in me," whispered Rumpelstiltskin letting her hands fall to his shoulders as he looked away from her again.

Belle stared at him as she slowly moved her hands to the sides of his neck.

"Rumple look at me please," whispered Belle an idea forming in her head as she did. In her mind it was the only way to prove to him nothing he did would ever make her leave. She loved him; she would never leave him.

"Let's make a deal. A deal binding me to you by magic so that you can stop worrying about me leaving because Rumpelstiltskin I promise you I will never willingly leave you. If you need a deal to prove that, if a deal will give you peace of mind then that's a deal I am more than willing to make," exclaimed Belle. Her words made him look at her again instantly and before she was even finished he was shaking his head. The Dark One inside him was careening to make whatever deal she had in mind, but the spinner would not. He didn't want her bound to him by magic; he wanted her to be bound to him as his equal. Again the idea of her being his wife entered his mind, but he pushed it aside. She would not want to be his lover let alone his wife when she discovered what a fiend he truly was.

"No Belle. No deals, no deals not with you. I don't want you bound to me by magic. I don't want you bound to me like that," whispered Rumpelstiltskin silently wishing in that moment that he could make her his wife, but he would not force her to be with him. And he knew after he revealed all to her she would no longer want him anywhere near her.

In that moment, he kissed her tenderly on the lips drawing her into his warm embrace.

"Who would have thought the great Rumpelstiltskin would ever turn down a deal," smiled Belle as the kiss ended. Sitting there with her for a moment longer, he prepared to tell her a story he had never told anyone before.

"I wasn't always the Dark One. Centuries ago, I was only a lowly spinner with a wife, but that all changed when I was drafted into the first of the Ogre wars. I had no choice, but to leave my wife Milah and go to war. Months passed and I was trained and sent to the front, but before I could actually fight in battle I was charged to guard a prisoner. This prisoner was a seer. She told me things, things that in the beginning I didn't believe, but in the end I discovered everything she spoke of was the truth. She told me Milah was with child, she told me my actions on the battlefield would leave my son fatherless. When I learned she spoke the truth, I tried to find her again, but she was gone. I couldn't leave my son, Belle. I couldn't leave him fatherless; I did the only thing I could do. I injured myself so I couldn't fight, so they would send me home. When I arrived home Milah had already had our son, she named him Baelfire. But she and everybody else in our village branded me a coward; she said they would have been better off if I had died in battle. In the end, she ended up leaving me. She left me for a worthless pirate, but after I became the Dark One I saw her again. I ripped her heart out and crushed it in my hand; the pirate has it out for me for killing her and cutting off his hand replacing it with a hook. After she left though, I raised Bae on my own, but soon the Ogre wars were knocking at our door again. The Duke of the Front lands called for all able bodied men; men went to battle and they died. The age restriction kept getting lower and lower until it was lowered to fourteen. When that happened, my boy was to be fourteen in three days' time. I knew when that day came they would come and take him from me. I had to protect him so we tried to run, but some soldiers found us. Their leader told Bae what I had done all those years ago, he revealed to him what a coward I was, and he made me kneel and kiss his boot. After they left that night my son and I met an old beggar. This man spun me a tale, a tale of a dagger that could control the Dark One, he told me the Duke possessed it, and if I could take it from him I could save my son. I could control the Dark One and if I killed him I would gain his powers. So that's what I did, I burned the castle, I took the dagger, and I summoned the Dark One. When he appeared before me, he said things, things he knew would rile me, and before I knew what I had done I had stabbed him. It was then I discovered that the beggar had been the Dark One the entire time. What he told me was true, I gained his powers, and in the beginning I used them for good. I saved my son; I saved all the children, and ended the wars. But my curse started to turn me dark. Bae didn't like what I was becoming, he didn't like the things I was doing, and he was determined to find a way to break my curse. I made a deal with him that if he could find a way to break my curse I would let him; it was a deal I broke in the end. It's the only deal I've ever broken in my life. The blue fairy gave him a magic bean to take us to a world without magic, but when the time came to use it I got scared. Part of me was scared, part of me didn't want to lose my power, so as we were hanging there over the portal I let Bae go, and he went to this world without magic. I lost my son, so now I have to get him back. I have to find him and there's only one way. I am creating a curse, a dark curse that will rip us away from this land; it will destroy this land, and take everyone to a world without magic. It's the only way, Belle. I must find my son," explained Rumpelstiltskin looking at her as he finished telling her his story.

Afterward he watched her waiting for the reaction he knew was inevitable. She sat there in his lap still staring at him her mind continuing to process everything he had just told her. Belle found herself in awe, but also so grateful he had decided to trust her enough to tell her the truth of his tale. She saw him watching her, she knew what he was waiting for; he was waiting for her to jump out of his arms and run as far as possible. But she wasn't going to do that. They sat there in silence both of them waiting, one for her to run, and one for him to realize she would never run from him.

"Why are you just sitting there? You should be running from me; why aren't you running?" asked Rumpelstiltskin moving to take her hand as he looked at her with a confused expression.

"Because I love you Rumpelstiltskin. I love you so very much. Your past, the misdeeds you've done in your quest to find your son none of it matters to me. If I were a parent, I'd go to the ends of the earth for my child; I'd do anything to protect my child just like you did. And if I lost my son I'd rip the world apart like you are to find him, to be reunited with him. What you're doing may not be good, but your reasons for doing them are. That and nothing could ever make me stop loving you Rumple; I love you," exclaimed Belle taking his face in her hands once more and gently kissing his lips. He continued to look at her with confusion at first, but then suddenly he returned her kiss holding her face in his hands as he did the same. After their lips parted he continued to just stare at her for a moment before holding her close. Kissing her again, Rumpelstiltskin couldn't believe how lucky he was, he was the luckiest man in the realm to have this woman for his lover, and then the idea of her being more entered his mind. She was his true love, he loved her, and he knew as he looked at her that he wanted her to be his wife. He only needed the courage to ask her now and then he also remembered he needed a ring.

Looking at her still, he kissed her one final time the idea of her being his wife fueling him, and pulling back he smiled at her. He would make her his equal, his wife. With that in mind, he suddenly popped out of sight in a puff of purple smoke leaving her sitting there alone in the great hall.

"Rumpelstiltskin," called Belle looking around with a sign. An hour, or so later Belle had cleared the table, done the dishes, and was wiping off the long table when he appeared again.

Belle smiled as she felt him behind her wrapping his arms around her without hesitation. Rumpelstiltskin grinned wickedly against the skin of her throat as he kissed it making her lean back into his chest a moan escaping her lips; it was like music to his ears.

"Did you miss me, my beauty?" smiled Rumpelstiltskin turning her quickly so she was facing him.

"Yes I did very much. Are you alright you popped out so suddenly I was worried," whispered Belle wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him as she did.

"I'm fine I had something I had to do," breathed Rumpelstiltskin feeling as his nerves returned as he prepared to ask her the question every man wanted to ask the woman he loved.

"What was that?" whispered Belle looking up at him giving him her ever curious gaze. But he ignored her question deciding not to answer her, but to instead show her. He kissed her in that moment lifting her onto the table before finally pulling back breathing a sign as he prepared to make her his forever.

"I love you Belle," exclaimed Rumpelstiltskin nervously taking her hands in his as he came to stand between her legs. Belle kissed him like she never had before in that moment, she kissed with so much passion and heat that he couldn't help, but pull her close. When their lips parted his heart was pounding from within his chest as he looked at her again; he was still so nervous about what he was about to do.

"Belle, I need to ask you something. It's very important," exclaimed Rumpelstiltskin breathing heavy as he tried to remain calm. She smiled at him leaning into his touch when he cupped her cheek in his hand; she had an idea what he wanted to talk to her about. She thought he was going to ask her to make that deal after all and she didn't mind at all. She would gladly bind herself to him in any way if that's what he wanted.

"Do you want to make that deal with me after all because if so the answer is yes? Rumple I will gladly make any deal you want; I will gladly bind myself to you in magic just as long as you know that we don't need it that I will never leave you. That I will always love you," whispered Belle kissing his palm as he continue to stroke her cheek. Rumpelstiltskin smiled at her gently kissing her lips as he shook his head. Her words gave him more confidence, if she would bind herself to him in magic; did that mean she would marry him and bind herself to him in that way too? Rumpelstiltskin smiled at her then as he took both her hands in his kissing them sweetly. Amber looked into blue in that moment as he gathered all his courage. He had once said he would never ask a woman this question ever again, but that was different. He knew it was different; she was different. This woman, this beauty was his true love; she loved him and he loved her. She was the only woman he ever should have asked this question, but he would make up for that now. As he thought all of this, Belle continued to stare at him waiting for an answer.

"Actually I'm not interested in a deal. I have a proposal to make," whispered Rumpelstiltskin.