Chapter 8
Rumpelstiltskin walked with slow steps out of the kitchen. He didn't know if he could fix the mistakes he had made. He didn't know if his children would forgive him and the fear in his heart that they wouldn't made his heart pound. But despite that fear he knew he had to try even as he felt his fear holding him back. At first, he barely tried and then he searched their rooms. They weren't there though, each room was bone dry, empty, and from the look of them they had only been used for sleep. It didn't look like the lights had been turned on in a long time. This made his fear rise. What if they had left him just like Bae did? Just the thought of that made him start to panic. Jefferson appeared in that moment though immediately calming his fears.
"The children are fine, Rumple. They are off around the castle…Helena is probably in the garden picking flowers. She puts fresh flowers on Belle's grave every day. Nicholas is in her library…he goes there right after breakfast…doesn't leave until I make him go to bed. And Annabelle…she probably wondered back into the kitchen after she was sure you were gone…since Belle died she kind of clings to Grace. Doesn't leave her side…but if you had been around you'd know that. Fix this Rumple…go find your children and fix this or else you'll never forgive yourself," whispered Jefferson looking at him with so many emotions in his eyes. There was so much anger, but still that understanding he always had when it came to the imp. It was those eyes that made him cautiously move forward. His steps were quicker now even as the fear still bubbled in his heart. He hurried down to the kitchen knowing that he must speak with Annabelle first. She was the youngest, he knew she didn't understand any of this more than his other children. She must be so confused and that was why he knew he had to apologize to her before he apologized to anybody else. And then he was there. He stood in the kitchen doorway and the second his eyes landed on her he could swear he felt a wrench in his heart.
There she was, his youngest child, his baby, looking, so sad as she watched Grace cut vegetables. Annabelle automatically felt him staring at her and looking up in his direction the second she saw him she quickly looked away. It broke his heart even more. But even as it did that and he continued to look at her seeing his Belle in her most out of all his children, Rumple knew there was only one person to blame. He had done this, he had abandoned them, and now he had to find some way to make up for that. Rumpelstiltskin entered the room then his steps echoing through the room until he was right there in front of his daughter. She looked at him again for another fleeting second and it was then that their eyes finally met. It only lasted a second, barely a second, but it gave him the courage to take a seat next to her.
"Hello, Anna," whispered Rumpelstiltskin making their eyes meet for the second time.
Annabelle merely stared at him at first, she looked sad, scared, so many emotions pooled in her tiny little eyes. Before now he wouldn't have believed, so many emotions were possible in one, so small.
"Hi," said Annabelle.
"I'm sorry," continued Annabelle under her breath her little eyes filling with tears in that moment.
"Sweetheart," gasped Rumpelstiltskin moving to touch her head, but thinking better of it as he watched her crumple into tears not knowing or understanding why as she started to sob.
When he could take it no more, Rumple took his little girl into his arms holding her to his chest. He felt as her tiny little body shook with her tears. Her arms went around his neck and when she clung to him he didn't say a word. He only held her waiting for the right moment to say what he needed to.
"Dear heart…why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for," whispered Rumpelstiltskin finally making her look at him.
"You don't want us anymore…you left us," whispered Annabelle her little tears still moving down her face. Her words made Rumple speechless. He knew what she said was partly the truth, but he had never thought that her, his children, would see it that way. It made him think of their mother. They were as cunning, as smart as she had been. And holding his little girl close he kissed the top of her head at that very thought. It was then that she looked at him both their eyes shining with tears now. In that moment, Rumple didn't know what to say. He knew what he had to say, but the actual words seemed lost. His children thought he didn't want them anymore. How was he supposed to diffuse that? How could he wipe that thought from their minds when in that moment as he sat there he couldn't blame them for having it? And that couldn't have been farther from the truth.
"I love you, sweetheart…I love all of you, so much," whispered Rumpelstiltskin kissing her forehead as he peered down at her.
"I'm so sorry…Papa should have been here," breathed Rumpelstiltskin hating himself for letting things get this bad. But in that moment, he also wondered if that's what the rest thought too. It was then that he looked down at her again.
"I'm so sorry, baby…Papa was hurting and he forgot that you are too. I was missing Mama, so I just needed some time to be alone…but I never stopped loving you. I would never do that, sweetheart. I love you and your brother and sister so much…I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise," said Rumpelstiltskin drying his little one's tears as they lay spilled across her face. He was crying hard now and it was as he was trying to find his next words that Annabelle made him forget all about them.
He felt as his little girl clung to him and looking around he found the room empty. Grace had left them alone. He let his tears dominate him then not looking at his baby only running his fingers through her hair.
"Papa?" whispered Annabelle finally laying her hands on both his cheeks making him stare down into her eyes.
"Don't cry…I still love you too," whispered Annabelle drying his tears as he had her own. Her words were a balm to him as he held her close. They gave him hope that everything would be alright. That not just Annabelle, but all his children would forgive him.
That was his repeated thought as he peered into her eyes, the eyes that were, so much like her mother's. It was just as he hoped it would be. His children were keeping his Belle's memory alive and with that thought he hugged her. He loved his children, so much.
"I hope you can forgive me," said Rumpelstiltskin tenderly kissing her forehead again smiling as she nodded immediately an instant yes. His daughter pulled away from him then and holding his face in her hands she gave him a kiss.
"I love you, Papa…just don't go again," whispered Annabelle looking at him now with such conviction that once again it reminded him of Belle. With that thought he kissed her forehead hugging her again.
"I promise, Annabelle. Never again," breathed Rumpelstiltskin.
They sat there afterward in complete silence with him only holding his daughter who now clung to him. It was like she thought if she let go he would disappear again. Grace entered the room then her eyes red telling him she had heard it all. He silently smiled at her then as she sat down at the table once more preparing dinner. Only then did Annabelle leave him moving to sit between them. Annabelle looked like her old self now. She was happy. She wouldn't stop smiling and just looking at her warmed his heart. But it also renewed his hope. Rumple hoped the talks with his other children would go just as well. Part of him still knew they would not be easy, but he knew that he couldn't let that deter him. They were all he had left, he couldn't give up; he had to fix this somehow. Rumple stood up then moving to leave the room in search of Helena and Nicholas. He gently kissed his daughters head and leaving the room he moved out of the room.
"Now, hopefully it goes as well with Helena and Nicholas," thought Rumpelstiltskin moving through the castle. He could feel his hear coming back tenfold because he knew his other children would not be nearly as understanding. They were older after all. And just thinking of the moments to come had the coward deep inside him scared to death. It was that coward that entered the garden in search of his oldest daughter. He knew Nicholas would be the hardest of the three to speak to, so that's why now he was in search of Helena. She would be hard on him, but not nearly as hard as her brother. Like Annabelle, she was so much like her mother whereas Nicholas was like him when he was upset…he didn't easily forgive. Helena would like her sister understand.
