AN: So here we are.

After many, many, many moons I've finally taken my ADHD medication in preparation for a college course that I need to focus on. Not that you guys care, I'm just saying the writer inside is let out of its cage for like twelve hours or however long it takes me to write these, and the writer is quite ravenous.

Father! The sleeper has awoken! (If you haven't seen 1984 Dune then I suggest that you do, a truly awesome movie.)

I know yall have been waiting like, the longest time for these chapters so I'll just get right to it.


Mittens POV…

"These random ass birds, which I have never seen in the month that you've lived here… are your friends?" Tony asked me curiously.

"What is an 'Ass Bird'? Whatever it is, it sounds derogatory in nature." Squawked Butthead in my direction inquisitively.

"I think based on how these humans reproduce, the female ass is what attracts the most attention from the males of the species. So if my thinking is correct, the phrase 'Ass Bird' is the highest form of praise a human can give." Beavis concluded studiously.

"... I have a desirable ass?" Butthead quietly vocalized to himself as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his bird eyes glancing up and down the feathered rump of the body he currently occupied.

Both birds had taken to looking at their behinds in the reflection of the glass.

I looked down at the array of buttons and spotted a couple of words that could be used to describe my situation.

"Father," said Darth Vaders voice from the button I had just pressed. I'm so sure that he clipped the audio from that iconic moment in Star Wars: Episode V.

"Why yes my dear son!" Tony said enthusiastically. His tone changed from confused to exaggerated excitement.

Tony refused to make a button with his name on it, insisting however that I call him Father. I mean, If you looked at it a certain way, he was technically my step dad which I will never complain about. Tony Stark is the coolest step dad ever, just thinking that has me starstruck.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and continued tapping the buttons.

"Friends."

"Before."

"AVENGERS!"

I chuckled a bit at the last word: Avengers, which was exclaimed by Steve in a heroic way, like he was about to bash a fiend in the face with his shield.

"Oh ok, some old bird friends! I can't begin to imagine the thrilling conversations you three must've had together." Tony replied sarcastically, throwing his gaze at the birds, who had stopped admiring themselves and had perched on the art piece that was the chandelier.

The birds no longer had a friendly air about them, they seemed to be aggressively looming at Tony like a couple of cartoon vultures. Looking down on him with half lidded eyes and what looked like frowning beaks.

"Woah, what happened to the mood? Was it something I said?" Tony asked the pair.

"We may be newcomers to your world, but we are not just this child's friends." Butthead squawked angrily.

"Yes, we are not just his friends. We brought him into this world. I believe in this culture that means that we are the fathers here." Beavis aggressively cooed.

I've never thought about those two like that. I guess if you look at it, they are my biological parents.

I've got three dads…

Sweet.

"...I'm sure whatever you said was pretty scathing and would probably leave me weeping, but contrary to popular belief, I don't speak any sort of bird language," Tony said, "So mittens can you translate?"

"Meow," I responded as I looked down at the numerous buttons.

Hmm… ok.

"Birds." The enthusiastic button lady started.

"Made."

"Mittens."

"Birds."

"Equal."

"Father." Darth Vader finished off.

Tony looked me up and down then glanced up at the birds and then back at me.

"I don't see the resemblance. This reminds me of an episode of Maury actually." Tony cracked jokingly at the birds.

Suddenly Beavis and Butthead had dawned dark maroonish purple robes with large hoods that hid their beaks, but they were still in bird form so it was kind of adorable. But it also succeeded in making them look like satanic cult members.

As if in response to their new attire the gravity in the penthouse seemed to triple, showcasing a fraction of the power the birds contained. Tony was immediately brought to his knees and my petite cat body was squished down on the No button, which was actually Luke Skywalker screaming at Darth Vader in Episode V, making it repeat over and over.

"No!"

"No!"

"I'm sorry! I apologize if I have insulted you great deities!" Tony shouted urgently at the all powerful birds on the chandelier.

"No!"

"Stop." Said an enthusiastic female voice as I laboriously reached over and pressed the closest button, which turned out to be the most convenient one.

Suddenly the gravity in the room turned back to normal as I sat up on my haunches and Tony slumped over and rolled into a sitting position.

"This earthling gets on my nerves very quickly, as if he is racing to piss me off." Beavis stated.

"You scared the pee out of me bro, you must have the shortest fuse in the universe. I'm pretty sure he was just trying to joke around." Butthead chirped at Beavis.

I looked down at the aforementioned pee since I don't think birds can do that. It was actually bird poop, but the size of it was directly proportional to that of a cow patty.

A record breaking size of bird poop.

"I'm… sorry… oh great… birds." Tony apologized in between puffs of air.

"Well, as long as everyone knows their place I think we'll all get along just fine!" Beavis said in his bird dialect.

Tony cast a look in my direction that said: please tell me what the gods dressed as birds said.

I looked down at the buttons, trying to find the perfect… ah! Ok!

"Birds."

"Say."

"You."

"Good."

Tony let out a sigh of relief, his face dripping with sweat.

"Well it's a good thing I brought extra food!" the Iron Man stated exasperatedly.


Tony forty-five minutes later…

My cat could not be weirder.

Mittens, who was already a horrifying middle aged shapeshifting tentacle monster, had two all powerful baby daddies that could also shapeshift.

How do I know they can shapeshift?

They morphed from birds to tiny field mice, the robes they had dawned had shrunk down to fit their tiny rodent bodies.

Even weirder, they didn't walk on all fours like most mice, they however chose to walk like a human, it was like i was watching ratatouille except I had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Mittens and the mystery twins had eaten the entire tray of lasagna, and were working through the six pack.

They had taken to sitting on Mittens head which, despite my horror, was pretty cute. The only thing you could see were their long noses which poked out of the hood, and the arms of the robe were connected like their hands were clasped together. But the robes themselves were oversized, so there was excess hanging from the arms and dragging behind them. I even saw one of them trip over it earlier.

… I have to take a picture, nobody is going to believe me if I don't.

I whipped out my phone and aimed the camera at the astoundingly random creatures.

One of the mice raised a robed hand, and as if in response to the action my phone vanished. I glanced at the mouse with frustration who had started shaking his head as if to say nobody can know.

I pursed my lips in annoyance.


A Week Later Mittens POV…

The meeting of my fathers went well, nobody died and Tony isn't a cat. I'll call that a win all day. Even though since then there have been a couple of close calls, I explained to Beavis and Butthead that it is Tony's nature to poke fun.

In contrast, the cosmic twins love Pepper, much to Tony's chagrin. Which makes sense, Pepper is a fun loving person what's to not get along with?

Anyway Tony was out on business saving the world or something, he wasn't very vocal about it. So it was just Me, Pepper, Beavis, and Butthead at the tower.

Pepper was sprawled out on the couch snoozing while I was curled up on her stomach and the twins were on their designated seat: my head. We were watching a cartoon called Regular Show in the penthouse, When suddenly the building shook violently like something big had crashed into the side of it, throwing us off the couch and breaking the TV.

Suddenly I turned from a cat into a naked middle aged dad in an instant, startling the hell out of me.

"I sense a presence filled with malice closing in on our position" Beavis squeaked in mouse form.

"Prepare yourself Mittens!" Butthead added as he waved a hand and clothed me in an instant.

Both Mice were on separate shoulders squeaking in my ear.

"Oh god, what now?" my voice rumbled out.

"Who the fuck are you!?" Pepper screamed at the top of her lungs, scrambling to distance herself from me.

"I'm Mittens, the cat. It's a long story, but first and foremost we need to see what that was." I explained quickly pointing to the collar around my neck.

The elevator dinged as it signaled the arrival of an occupant.

Out stepped the man I did not want to see ever again.

Nick Fury.

Nick drew a large pistol from his holster and aimed it at me. His lips stretched into a devilish grin like he just caught me in a trap.

"Heh, you think I don't know about your little shapeshifting trick Kraken? You know what, don't even answer that, I came here for one thing, and it's you. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, the choice is yours." Fury explained.

"You're crazy if you think I'm ever going with you willingly… uhm… uh Bitch Fury!" I clapped back.

Nick gave me a deadpan stare as if he was disappointed at my choice of insult.

A couple moments of intense disappointment passed.

"I thought his name was Nick Fury. Why is it Bitch Fury now?" Squeaked Butthead inquisitively.

"No I know his name is Nick, but he quipped at me so I quipped back at him." I explained to the confused mouse.

A couple of seconds of tense silence passed.

"You are really bad at quipping dude, I thought of at least ten off the top of my head, and they were way better than that." Beavis added, breaking the silence.

"How do you even know what a quip is? You guys aren't even from here." I asked The cosmic idiots.

"Actually on the other side of the universe there is a species that only speaks with-" Beavis started.

"Now I'm done talking but I've officially run out of patience, it looks like we're doing this the hard way." Nick stated with finality.

Fury cocked the gun and aimed at me, which was pretty frightening in itself.

Then pointed it at Pepper and pulled the trigger. A hole ripped through her head, spraying blood and brain matter all over the wall behind her. Her head was thrown back from the force of the bullet as I saw life leave her eyes.

"Oh my god! You killed Pepper! You bastard!" I tearfully exclaimed.

"I will have you again Kraken. Whether it's now, or in fifty years, you will be back in a fucking freezer and I can die of old age in peace. Cause I know in my heart of hearts that if you were to keep living like this, you will cause a global incident and all the lives that are lost will be over my head." Nick Stated in a toxically calm voice that sent shivers down my spine.

"You…You killed Pepper." I repeated.

"The hardest of choices require the strongest of wills, Kraken." Nick uttered in a dull tone.

The tears were running down my face at this point.

"You sick twisted fuck! Why! What is stopping me from ending your life just as fast!" I screamed at him clenching my hands.

"Oh I don't think you will Kraken, You see, I have a little insurance of my own." Nick darkly stated.

Before I could ask what the hell his 'insurance' was he pulled out a small black device with a red button on top and pressed down on the button.

A jarring explosion followed suit and Nick's facial expression morphed into a sick smile.

"What did you just do?!" I interrogated him.

"Well I didn't really do anything Kraken, it was you who made me blow up that hospital and guess what, you'll do it again about ten more times if you don't follow my commands!" Nick yelled.

Beavis and Butthead were silent on my shoulders, which pissed me off even though they said they were not allowed to help me in the slightest in situations like this.

—-

Beavis and Butthead POV…

"He's starting to sound like… him… right?" Butthead asked his brother in his mind.

"He has followed us across the universe. We cannot escape!" Beavis responded back

—-

Mittens POV…

"This isn't like you, you fought to save New York and now you reap its destruction?!" I cried out feeling completely helpless.

"You fool, you think this is suffering? No this is salvation." Nick said as he hit the button again and another explosion sounded off.

"Just stop! This is insane!" I yelled, my voice breaking a little.

Suddenly Nick's eye rolled to the back of his head.

"You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me!" He screamed like a man possessed.

As he said that I could not help but feel like he wasn't talking to me.

"How many champions must I slaughter before you give me what is rightfully MINE!" Fury yelled in frustration.

"You're talking nonsense Nick, stop killing innocent people!" I pleaded with him.

"You don't even know what you are, do you? You are cursed! They even broke the rules for you! Do you even have the slightest idea of who you are?!" Nick screamed.

I had no response to that so I just stared at him horrified.

"Hmm I see, so you don't know. Well let me clue you in… you and I will battle to the death one day, and it doesn't matter where you go or who you hide behind. I will kill you… Do you hear me! I will kill him!" Nick proclaimed.

"I can't shake the feeling that he's talking to you guys,'' I say to the mice on my shoulder.

No response, not even a squeak.

"I don't care if I must reduce this reality to nothing, I'll follow you everywhere! I will not stop until I am in the sun again, you hear me you bastards!

Suddenly a fiery circle surrounded my feet and I was falling in a dark and cold space.

"And so it begins! Remember this champion! I am inevitable!" Screamed Nick's voice above me. Followed by the echoes of explosions.


AN: Woah suddenly it's like DC in here. Ya know what im sayin?

As always let me know what you think!